Balancing Family Life and Comedy

So as you know, because I've talked about it a lot, I've been popping up trying to do some stand upp recently And there are very few people who have seen me kind of in that backstage, super nervous, palms are sweaty, and rereading my jokes again and again, My heart's racing. That stage before I go up on the physical stage. But one of the people who' seen me in that is my good friend, Daniel Sloss I thought for a very long time that talking about my trauma on stage was I was like, I like therapy for me And then I went to therapy And I was like, o That wasn't Aual therapy, I was reframing it. I opened for Daniel back in November and the thing that I really admire about him besides his ability to call me out. And honestly, besides the ability that he's been doing stand upps since he was sixteen years old and Performed over three hundred shows, forty countries has two hour long specials on Netflix, Dark and Jigsaw But beyond all that. His approach to stand up is so nuanced And in the conversation today, we talk about where power exists in comedy And I get his take on how it also exists in tragedy and in silence. and in telling a story to an audience in a way that makes them relive the experience. almost like it's happening in real time We talk about how comedy bends time reframes events. and moves forward Here, we go Again Again. Again Hey, I'm Kalpen and this is Here We Go Again, a show that takes today's trends and headlines and asks Why does history keep repeating itself Here, we go This is an IiHart podcast Guaranteed human If you love audiobooks or you just really love a great story, I want to tell you about my other podcast, Earsay, the Audible and IHart Audiobook Club Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiob books from Audible. Sci fi, comedy, romance, thrillers, You name it No reading required. Just listening Becauseuse let's be honest, having a great story read to you is kind of next level Check out your say on the iHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts When it comes to looking your best, Beachbum Tanning does it better. Beachbum delivers advanced sun and spray tanning, luxury skincare, and an elevated salon experience designed around you. It's why so many guests trust Beachbum for flawless color and real confidence. And now Beachbum is expanding wellness services to many locations, with red light therapy and infrared sauna, with more on the way. Rcharge your body, refresh your skin, Ret your day. Beachbum isn't just tanning. It's full spectrum wellness. Visit beachbum dot com to find a location near you This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturist' with Matt Rogers and Bo and Yang. This is Bo and Yang from Losost Cultur Rist withatt Rogers and Boen Yang You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, okay, hold on. I got a new favorite food. That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Kupie mayo. Yeah, it's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store. And this mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kupie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this Rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, chehefs use it, restaurants use it. Pople who really care about flavor use it. put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand Cuie, the original Japanese mayonnaise. This Kee Miller from OK Storytime. So I have a furry friend named Mia She'siter a bundled of joy and love who can never get enough pets, cuddles, and attention. too me She's more than a pet, she's practically family And I love my pets Part of that love is what's best for them And for my dog, that includes the best diet At Jinx, all dogs deserve to eat well. Jinx has premium all natural food, toppers, and treats to transform your dog's health and happiness no matter your dog's size or age Jinx's number one ingredient is high quality protein like Atlantic salmon, cage free chicken, grass fed beef, and lamb to support strong muscles and heart health. Jinx never has any fillers like corn, wheat, or soy. For meia, I get her the mini biscuits, meal toppers, kibble, the kibble sauce, and ready meals. But for her, I think she loves the mini biscuits the most, just because she loves the taste and not to mention The sound of the crutch. Jinx offers plenty of healthy and fun options for your dog Shop at national retailers like Walmart, Petmart, Chheewy or Amazon This is Julian Ntelman from Games with Names As a fellow dude, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling in your butt That's because you're probably using the dry stuff to wipe What? extra large, flushable Dude wipes. get what toilet paper leaves behind in your're behind. You wouldn't clean the tail end of your truck with dry paper towels So why would you wipe dry toilet paper. Wetter? Just cleans better. There are no more dinglebererries, no more itch and irritation Just a deep downown the seam. confident clean. So don't fumble the ball with toilet paper. stop being an a hole to your bee hole Drop the toilet paper available on Amazon and major retailers nationwide Dude wipes Best clean pants down A can you introduce yourself however you want? Hi my name is Dn Sloss. I am a Scottish comedian and I have the privilege of being one of Cal's genuinely good and close friends Thanks for doing this. I'm glad we overlap in person. I know, I know yeah. I mean, look, it's always great to see you and then get obnoxiously together. Absolutely. How many just for the listeners, how many tattoos do we have together now Two or three, right? Yeah, yeah We could get a fourth this week. We could. Our significant others would love that. Yeah. Im sure. My favorite tradition in the world, I'll never forget I meanz it's been twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen, maybe New York. Yeah. We had I think we've been friends, I say friends, but anytime I was in New York, I would see you. We' hang out I was stayking in an American car at the time We go out to plac with bottomless Very busoozy brunch. Fairly boozy brunch They recognize you. they don't recognize me. That's fine Um They extend the bottless branch for two hours.. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, it was meant to end at two. They kept it going to about half past four o or five We were horrifically drunk and you said that you N had to tattoo? Yes. and that you really wanted one. Well, what I I remember this specifically because I said anybody want to get a tattoo becausecause it's a thing that I say when I'm drunk because at that point I had not gotten one. I knew exactly what I wanted. I've continued that trend, by the way where I ask people this drunk because There's a section in the notes on my phone where I have images of tattoos that I want I can get them drunk and make a good decision. Yeah. It's not up to me what my drunk friends get. Yeah ye. But so the fucking chameleon from time So good. Well you've got good ones when we've been drunk. So so yees, so we go And I pull out the thing that I wanted, which you fucking love this st. It's my favorite story. It'ite it's why I'm making you open with it. It's my favorite story. So I I always wanted a family crest tattoo. Brown people generally don't have family crests. And so an Indian family with a family crest, the British milit got rid of those famies. Well, or the reason they have one is because they were like doing the British folks dirty work for the Missini. Yeah yeah yeah. What do I get? I gott to get something that's as Firm is a family crest And I did an episode of this PBS show called findinding your roots. Wh British listeners, who do you think you are? It's Eactly. So they they run your DNA, they hire a genealogist, they show you all of these things. They tell you several times you h' all your saliva, stops haing them come. Is that why they said that? They were like, this doesn't taste like saliva So like I get this I do this show and they go You are ninety nine point nine percent. South Asia How do you feel? And I just blurt it out disappointed And the guy was like, what? I'm like, no, no, don't use that. Ask me the question again., Let me do it properly And I said the reason that I'm bummed out is I wanted something. I wanted to know that I was like, you know one seventeenth Thai or Nigerian or Irish or something that gives me like a cool tattoo. C give me a tie to the Ottoman Empire. Right, something So we turn a couple pages and he shows me a map where they've run our DNA and there's There's a thing called a maternal haplope. basically a piece of your DNA that's traced back, you know hundreds of thousands of years to common ancestors. So there's a point in Africa that they showed me with all these arrows Now it's not just mine, it's millions of other people that share this, but I thought, well, that's indisputable. That's a cool first tattoo. So I take a picture of it. It says R one A dash m one forty seven And u And I showed you the picture when we were drunk and I told you the story and we go and we get the tattoos. I have pictures that I sent to my mum. Yeah. I was getting tattoos together. You got I got the drop dead Freds. That's right Tattoo at the time. onene of my favorite British comedies I was thrilled with this tattoo. We kept drinking afterwards. T much Two weeks go by And u I had done my own twenty three and me DNA thing I go I want to see what else is in that Hplo group map. Click on that And I see That says that my maternal Hplo group is R one A dash m four one seven and the tattoo on my arm is R one A dash M One four seven. So I immediately am confused and I'm looking at my arm and I'm looking at the computer and I open up my phone and I see the photo is the photo of the tattoo And I just go Josh Come here and he looks at the screen. recognizes that I have the wrong tattoo because somebody fucked up And the grin on his face he texted me immediately. I still have the message and he doesn't even open up with the story. He just sends through ha And I'm like, Hey, bud, long time no year. What are we laughing about? H Like the gl because he he was kind of against us getting the tattoos. Yeah. And I think he also knew like he's known that oh I always wanted a tattoo from the time I was eighteen. You generally back in those days, you don't get it when you're starting out as an actor because if the gig is between you and somebody with no tattoos They're not going to pay to cover up every day. They're just go with the guy who doesn't that to. So he knew like And you want a family creress because you want something indisputable on your arm. You don't want to make a mistake. It's why it's in your phone. You're happy to get it drunk, but you put it in your phone sober. Like that's the care with which it was insane. So he he really was pleased. Because if you've been showing you any any, even just a shred of sympathy. Y, then you might have felt sorry for yourself I supposed to Well you should have what you did correctly was like this' the dum It's just something else's DNA on my phone. Yeah. J a random could be a colonizer for all. We don't know. Somebody else's just is on the arm that I have I don't know Okay, when we before the tattoo part or although I guess no, that that was That was not the first series of shows that I'd seen you in. No, it never, ever to this day D I consider of my close close friends. Yeah. Whenever we're in the same city, we've fuckking out, we've been in Australia together We've in New York together, we've been in Scotland together, we all over the world We hang out, I consider one of our friends. if I was having a problem I would not hesitate to call you That's still wild to me. because I grew up on Harolddon Car, H the Munches. I grew up in watching fucking House. Like I liked Obama. So I'm in America, I've done I don't even think I've done corning at this point in America That's right Yeah, Josh was a huge fan of your stuff and had shown me stuff online. so we went to your show. I' doing I'm doing my first show at the my first run at the Soho fucking P House in New York, one of my favorite venues. The first day I performed to thirteen people The second day I performed to twenty people. The third day I performed to twenty seven people. It a mid slow, but it's building. And then on the fourth day there's about fifty fucking people in the crowd and I go out on stage and I can see everyone in the audience because there's not that many of them And I'm like Fking go that's Cal Pain Cal Pay in the fourth fucking row America is the country I was promised. There are celebrities everywhere. like this is the industry, Oh my God this me. And I do show and thankful have for like a really, really good show. And then like afterwards I run down to the bar and just hoping to like meet you. And I get down there and at the bar iss just another Indian man. And then I have like ten minutes where I'm like, I'm a racist I'm a racist man. I was in I was said America. I saw one Indian American and I'm like, it's Kyl Pay. It's it it's, you know, it's I feel so fucking guilty. I'm on my phone and then I get a fucking tweet from you in like, hey We're around the corner. We're having drinks at the soho room. Oh that's right. That great little dingy fucking dive bar that we love And we wentin I went around there. That was the first time that we started our age old tradition of getting terfifly drunkking each other's company and just talking S. Be very quickly we realized that we have the exact same sense of humour. Yeah Nothing is off limits as long as it is said with kindness and empathy. But cutting brutal often beoted. U And ever since then, like, you know, anytime I'm in New York, we would fucking hang it. And it's still it's still wild to me. For people who are curious what that means, like I have to say the The way that I realized that we have the same sense of humor That show at the so place that I first went to was the one about your sister. Dark. Yeah. ye yeah I my disabled sister who spons herself today Yes, rightight So it was this, it was layers, right? Like I'm generally not a fan of punching down shock humor that doesn't have a purpose behind it And you were one of the few comedians still who uh, who can walk It doesn't even have to be a lie. You can say the things because the thing behind it actually mean something. And that's been a trend throughout your various tours Is that a thing that you craft on purpose? or is it just naturally how you tell stories? It's how I am with my Like me and my friends relationship is we will always insult each other about our biggest fucking insecurities. Now from a young age, I've been very lucky like Lots of my friends. are women I've had a lot I've had women best friends for all of my fucking life which is Why I love playing on the line of visogeny. because I think it's more sex two. If equality is treating everyone the same, thenen I'm going to treat the girls like the boys And the way you treat the girls like the boys. is you insult the girls for being girls and you make them stand up for themselves and you make them say really horrible things about you. And it's because they know I don't believe what I'm saying The It's the safe violation, right? I did this in a show once. The Scientists learned that rats laugh If you tickle a rat on its barey, it makes like squeaky little noises And that's the rat's fotion of giggling. And they worked out the reason it's giggling is because any other time a rat is on its back and something is clawing at it its belly, it's death. It's anagle, it's a dog, it's a cat,'s something. But what you're doing is a safe version of the dangerous thing and that safe violation is where a lot of laughter comes from And that's what I like about close Fship, Yeah. is like, here's this thing that is Really awful. Yeah Let's do it. Let's pretend to do it The most racist things I've ever said in my life are to my. color, the most homophobic things I've ever said in my life or to you and Josh. the most sexual things I've ever said in my life or to my wife because I don't mean. No the satire is clear. The level of meaning the opposite is clear. I think for me the favorite version of this was your' special at the height of the M too movement Wh like I'm in that audience and I know your sense of humor and I don't know where the show is going, but I obviously know it's going somewhere thoughtful. And it was impactful because I think a lot of us have dealt with friends who have been victims of sexual assault, We work in entertainment and at the time There was a lot of that going on and there wasn't the language, especially like, I mean, twenty years ago And there just wasn't the language around what that means. There weren't even intimacy coordinators on Film sets before, right? You just it was between those There' a third person who comes in So like instead of like if you' in a ranion, they sort of tap on the hands and you canight. They yell at you until it goes away not realizing that it's just gonna to make it stronger The No they They orchestrate all of the basically consent around everything. But anyway, the point is I think the satire and the level of meaning behind your comedy was always something that I thought was amazing. And it's some of the best advice. for people who don't, I've just started doing stand upp the last fiveive months, maybe I very good. Thank you. V, very good. Thank you. It does when you were opening for me in New York the thing that made me laugh too hard notot in your act booys I just find it so interesting that like none of your confidence or belief in yourself as an actor transansferred over which I've found while Because you're such a good comedic actor. You're such a funny person all the time, whether it's in your roles or in your fucking day to day life And then we're back we're backstage. I'm drinking. I'm not thinking about the fucking show because who gives up because I've been doing this for seventeen years. Who cares You were there like a fucking actor with your notes. Yes. Reading it through. N just notes. I had word for word written out my set and had a twenty page um that wasing you were in front of the fucking mirror. And I think it was by like show fucking six or seven when I said to you, I'm not letting you go on stage with. I'm not leting you go on stage with the paper because First of all, you're actor be off book. What are you doing? But also like Yeah I don't know, I just what for you? what's the difference? Like whyy didn't that confidence translate? I think because whenever I'm playing characters you're For lack of a better phrase, you're hiding behind the character. It's not me It's what I It's what I do to embody another person and bring that person to life. Whereas this is something that I wrote basased on life experiences, obbviously comedic embellishments aside And it was terrifying because I'm like, well, what if A, what if they don't like it? B, what if I forget the way that I'm telling it? It's very different when you've had three drinks with your good friend and you're telling these stories versus a complete stranger So it just freaked me out, but the best piece of advice was when you I think you're right. I think it was show five because I open for like ten or twelve twelve nights And show five, you said, donon't bring the paper out there. I wasn't even really referring to it. I just had it on the a stool. It' a safety net And then you said, if that's too scary Fold it up and put it in your back pocket. You're not going to need it, but it's there if you need it. So I did that the fifth night And I was like, Oh, And you had a great Riff their name because was I remember specifically because I was always behind the stage listening to your j set and you always obviously opened it the same way every night and you went out and You got you did a momentum job, which was like you got a big lamp from the fucking audience You didn't have your paper there And you said something just off the top of your head because you were in the fucking zone. You got an even bigger laugh. and it wasn't in the fucking paper And I was backstage patting myself on the back, being like, what a good What a good Jedi master I am. It was the perfect coach coaching moment. because Bill B is one of the greatest bits of advice. Because you and I are both storytellers in our comedy If I was meeting you at Mexican place, we're about of margaritas and something funny happened to you that day and you werere going to tell me the story You wouldn't stand outside the restaurant Rain minutes practicing the story to come and tell me. You would just come in get a drink. And you would tell me the story it came up. And that's what being a comedian is you're trying to teach treat the audience like they are your friend and you're sharing. obviously it's different if you're Gesselnic. And it's a persona and it's one liners. if you're Jimmy Car, if you're you know and all the stuff, but for most of the time like the The great con of comedy is convincing the audience that this is the first time you've ever said this. Yeah. That's that's the lie. Like that this is just coming off the top of your head. Yeah. and it's not something refined that you've done over and over and again. When it comes to looking your best, Beachbum Tanning does it better. Beachbum delivers advanced sun and spray tanning, luxury skincare, and an elevated salon experience designed around you. It's why so many guests trust Beachbum for flawless color and real confidence. And now Beachbum is expanding wellness services to many locations, with red light therapy and infrared sauna, with more on the way. Rcharge your body, refresh your skin, Ret your day. Beachbum isn't just tanning. It's full spectrum wellness. Visit beachbum dot com to find a location near you This is Matt Rogers from Los Cultaristos with Matt Rogers and Bo and Yang. This is Bo and Yang from Los Culturist, with Matt Rogers and Bo Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, wait, That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try cutepie mayo. It's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it in the grocery store before And if you've ever just walked past it, some people would say that's a huge mistake because this mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kwie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, and almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, some fans even swear by dipping s a crust in it and once you notice it, you start seeing it everywhere. Chefs use it. restaurants use it. People who really care about flavor use it. Never tried it, grab the bottle with the red cap next time you're at the store Put it on just about anything, thenen you'll understand. Cuteat the original Japanese mayonnaise. This is Kee Miller from OK Storytime So, I have a furry friend named Mia She's literally bundle of joy and love who can never get enough pets, cuddles, and attention. To me She's more than a pet, she's practically family. and I love my pet. Part of that love is what's best for them And for my dog, that includes the best diet At Jinx, all dogs deserve to eat well. Jinx has premium all natural food, toppers, and treats to transform your dog's health and happiness no matter your dog's size or age. Jinx's number one ingredient is high quality protein liketlantic salmon, cage free chicken, grass fed beef, and lamb to support strong muscles and heart health. Jinx never has any fillers like corn, wheat, or soy. For meia, I get her the mini biscuits, meal toppers, kibble, the kibble sauce, and ready meals. But for her, I think she loves the mini biscuits the most just because she loves the taste and not to mention The sound of the crutch. Jinx offers plenty of healthy and fun options for your dog Shop at national retailers like Walmart, Petmart, Chhewy or Amazon This is Julian Nettelman from Games with Names. As a fellow dude, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling in your butt That's because you're probably using the dry stuff to wipe What? extra large, flushable Dude wipes. get what toilet paper leaves behind in your're behind. You wouldn't clean the tail end of your truck with dry paper towels So why would you wipe dry toilet paper. Wetter? justust cleans better. With dude wipes, there are no more dinglebererries, no more itch and irritation Just a deep Down the seam confident clean. plus, unlike Baby wipes, dude wipes are extra big for adult hands You're not a baby So keep them on hand so you get nothing on your hands. And speaking of on hand Dude wipes come in different scents and pack sizes including a single use On the go pack that you can take anywhere. for that homefield advantage Stop being an a hole to your behole Drop the toilet paper available on Amazon and major retailers nationwide. Dude wipes Best clean pantsstone Introducing Taco Bell's new jalapeno citrus salsa with bright citrus, real red jalapenos, guailo chiles. Usually you add sauce to the food, but when the sauce is this good. The food is just there to get the sauce to your mouth. That rolled quesadilla, not a rolled quesadilla anymore Now it's a sauce shovel Taco Bell's Jalapeno citrus salsa, Get it with any item on the Cantina Chicken m while it's here. The participate in US Tac Bell locations for a limited time only, while supplies last, contact store for availability I noticed also, I mean the stuff that I organically tend to write is a lot of it is self deprecating because I just find that to be the A, I just find it fun, but B, I just think it's early enough on it de the olders to the a, right? I'm laughing myself, so you're allowed to laugh at me. Yeah. And also what this name does is because you're laughing at me I'm allowed to go at you know. Yeah, yeah,. The reason I get away with I consider myself like lucky enough to be one of the few British comedians who's like genuinely succeeded in America. And I get to insult Americans while I do it. Americans are proud people. They don't normally respond well to criticism. You think anything? It's been said, if you call yourself a cunt for ten minutes, Yeah, right? And then you go after Americans, they're like ike he Oh yeah. he fucking hates everything. He hates him and it alows you. in there. I don't consider myself to be anti American at all, Bob enls of my material. Oh part that when I was kind of psychoanalyzing the The thing behind the stories that I was telling in this nascent stage of my stand upp stuff, I was It was also like, oh, wow, there is You know, I do this stupid, but fun runner about going on dates with dudes relatively later in life, right? Be I figured out my sexuality not at like like a lot of people, God bless them. But it was a little bit later. So what is it like dating as a thirty year old or hooking up as a thirty year old when you you know, when you don't have that background and The stories are fun, but they're based in what was actually a very real like Scary, weird. How do I fit into world of like gay dudes who have their own language about everything and thenen it made me think for something like Dark. too what extent does trauma or those trauma such an overused. word I think for dark, it's legitimate for or something like figuring your shit out at thirty, maybe not so much, But but things that impact you that are not like happy moments. So all of our drumas are valid just because there's worseum. No, sure. I just mean deeath versus, you know getting your dick sucked is it different. It's a different sort of trauma. but In your work, how has How has trauma or tragedy informed your comedy I thought for a very long time that talking about my trauma on stage was I was like, I always like therapy for me And then I went to therapapy And I was like, Oh That wasn't Aual therapy, I was reframing it I was reframing something where I felt powerless and by reframing it and telling it my own way, I'd power over it So it's like a sort of retribution. L me being able to People laugh at my sister's death allowed me to sort of be you know, less hurt by it, have less sort of power over it. and then you go to your thepy and you're like, o, this thing my childood actually did fuck me up a little bit. it has sort of changed the way I still think it's a very important thing. Like I think the amazing thing I think about comedy is There is nothing more our fault than laughing in the face of something that has power over you, right It's to laugh in the face of grief Whenever you've lost someone that you loveved dearly in your life, the most powerful moment of that grief is the first time you laugh afterwards. Well the first time you get that often what brings you back to laughter is the worst thing. Like it's it's very very rarely is it like a silly jger a fucking pan. It's something objectively horrific and being able to sort of laugh. like I just think there's The way you beat taboo subjects isn't just by talking about by laughing at them. and it's important when you're doing a book tooo subjects is to not make jokes about the victims If you're doing I think cancer jokes are funny. Not great if you're making fun of the cancer victims. Yeah I think rape jokes are funny. Not if you're making jokes about survivors I think it's all always about like there's this powerful thing. and we're going to makeake the people who have suffered because of this powerful thing laugh at this powerful thing And that's how we beat it That's how it's no longer on our shoulders all the time. And look, its not it's not the only answer. likeike I cannot recommend therapy enough to Everyone, ye U But like I think a very important part of like growing and becoming stronger is inststead of being like, oh, you can't talk about this thing. never talk about this thing because that thing upsets me it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's bring it into the fucking room. Yeah. And let's make fun of it. I mean, I didn't know that you had not seen therapists until after these because as I think in drama school, you know, what's publicly funded performing arts high school in New Jersey So even in high school Maybe we didn't have the language for calling it mental health or taking care of things, but you would talk about that, right Certainly in college, you say I had a forree for students G get therapists And every fucking theater kid was just like, o this is great. Let me go take care of this, just like going to the gym. Yeah. And I get to talk about me for forty five minutes. And get head as a theater student, Inufferably wonderful. So do I get through voices? Not the scary ones, but so we I remember being very in tune to that and it's interesting to hear you say switch because did all of that happen organically orr was there Like was there a moment after you realized, Oh, I got to take care of my mental health that it changed the way that you You do things on stage. So the first time I did jokes about Josie, my sister, I was in LA and there was a show where they were like, go on stage and tell a story that you've never told before. So I was like, cool, here's four funny sex stories And they were like, people do text stories all the time. Like is there anything that they like you genuinely haven't spoken about on stage. And I was like, I've never spoken about my sister dying And they were like Would he? And I was like, yeah, you know, let me think about it So I messaged my mom, one of the funniest people with this ever left And I go, hey, I'm thinking of talking about Josie on stage. How would you feel about that? And my mum phed me a. She' like, hereere is one of the funniest stories about your sister and it's a story that's in dark and it's about wom when we were in a car crash And we got out of the car and we were all fine. But when my dad was carrying my sister, because she was heavily disabled. the guy who has G that her disability was a consequence of the car crage I mean he was Beside himself, he was And my parents found that the funniest thing in the world because they had to be like, No, no, she's always been like this. When she told me that story, I was like, fucking hell, that's funny Like that's So I went on stage and I told that story, but I accidentally told the story in the vein that my sister was still alive then I got to do a moment of when theyin' got to be like, and I remember the day Frame by frame of the dayath I know my sister was dead Um And I remember I was like, I'll tell that story And I was telling that story and I got to reveal to the audience after they'd heard the story by my sister and after they'd endered themselves to harden. vice versa And then I got to watch the audience experience what I experienence when I was six or seven years old. I got to see them deal with like the shock and the sadness and like the grief of like having this really innocent pure life taken away And fucking hell that they mean me feel powerful because for so long in comedy, we're taught that silence is the worst thing because it normally means silence means Tld is joking on gettingang laaps Silence and comedy is absolute power It is the epitany of power. It is Budge children in front of you You are the lifeguards They are drowning And you have the and you You're the one that's been helping them stayfoat with this entire time and you're taking away their arm bandes And you're like, she fucking kick for a bit let the water go up your nose. Feel the fear I'll save you there's another punchline coming. But just fucking dram for a little. Let me see you guys And I really enjoyed I shouldort of got addicted of like powerful side of comedy. And then I was like, okay, how else can I make the audience feel what I felt. How can I tell them stories in a way it's going to blindside them in the same way that I was blindsided by these things in my life And I just I just think it's a more natural way of Because normally I would be like, Hey, here's a story about my dead sister and then I would fuck and the surprise is ruined at the time. where it is like The power of making people go through what you e It allows you to I guess it normalizees it Yeah, in a way. I mean, as somebody was in the room know I didn't know, I knew what Dark was about generally, but I didn't know all of those points in it. so I'm sitting in a room feeling that sadness and I remember saying to Josh, that was a really powerful show. so it makes sense that you recognizeed that that was that that was the power. Al is bringing me flashbacks too. It took me a long time to know not to do this, but when when people come up on the street and say that they bald their eyes out when my character on house kills himself. Yeah, right or they Rid a way. And my response is hell yeah. Yeahah, you did. And seeing the and that re traumatized them because in their brains They were sharing something vulnerable and sweet. And in my actor brain, I was getting off on the fact that I made you feel an emotion through my work. Yeah. And so it took a while for me to be like, o, I actually need to properly acknowledge, lower my voice, do the doough what I call the, you know somebody has died voice. got to be a little sensitive. When I was doing a X which was obviously about rape and sexual assault so much of getting that show ready was like the first time I ever did it I said to the audience That's right on all the stuff about rape W that way If all the men in the audience could She shut the fuck up for about two minutes. to the women in the audience. Should I be talking about that? If I should be talking about this What did I get wrong? What did I get right? and what am I missing? And for like the first ten shows, I would just I would let like womomen come up to me after the show and also main men are victims of Texas h Um But I was like, if there's any survivors Please for the love of God Like I want to do a show for you. I'm going to talk about this. I have to talk about this And itbodyody needs to do it in a way that's not going to Demean, upset. unnecessarily sort of Hm Fregar And it was a brrutal process and And also, even when Touring X, when I was meeting fans after the show, the amount of people I would meet who were survivors would very courageously and very generously share their stories with me. Like yeah, you' just got to like I'm doing meeting gets, so I'm trying to be fucking funny and people are like yey, this happened when I was this age and this happened the other week and this and you just sort of have to fuck in. But I think Taking that on board and listening to it. allows you to perform Better. Also the stories I got after X. Nowhere near as funny as the stories I go after dark Be like after X, survivors would come and talk to me about their horrific experiences. Yeah. After dark, Lots of people who had disabled people in their lives would come and tell me horrific stories about the disabled people When I didn't dark in New York when I met you This is a seventeen year old kid. He's there with his dad And he's like, the dad is like, hey His younger brother has cerebral palsy We really relate to it, like that sort of humor making fun of us O COVID mechan is beautiful I'll go amazing. That's all I ever want to hear And then the dad goes to the same goes, tellell him the Disney W story And I'm like, please tell me. Disney Won' st And he goes What do you think is one of the best things about having a disabled sibling? and I go with themeark If you havere a disabled sibling, you get to the front of every right in anything park in the world. I remember with Josie Women in Hllland toowers. because she was disabled and straight at the front of you because she experienced joy, like no other human being experienced joy. They would send the rider out multiple times with her on it. It's a golden ticket. It's a golden ticket having a disabled sibling, right So I say this he's like exactly When I'm eight years old Brother is five We go to Disney World. We're the front of all the queues We're getting multiple fucking rides, we're being treated like kinks because it's the magical kingdom. Everyone's you know And great Gs to one in the afternoon,'s Fora. It's hot day. My brother's tired. Like he doesn't want to, you know, he need to nap So my mum takes them to a bit of Disney where there's a bit of grass and she just sort of lets swap on the grass And we're so used to getting to the front of queues that we suddenly can't go back T being in lines again and my brother's asleep. hisis wheelchair is free. so Oh my God. So I so good. So I say to my dad, I'm like, whyy don are' I get in a wheelchair And I'll just pretend to be disabled and I'm like this is Herrific. Please keep going. And the dad is like Children don't fully develop empathy until like their're late teens I know he loves his brother I don't know if you've ever seen a nine year old do an impression of somebody with cerebral palsy It's deeply offensive. Like we had to do a couple of rounds of the park but I was like, T it down, turn it down because this brother is just in the chair. No,ope, nope, no, no, donon't do the voice. Ohs They get to the front of the quebe They go on a fucking right. They call a road.azing. They got the road One of the brokers that might in the wom. Can I Heait deside for a second That's a, he lifts his fully abled son into his wheelchair Whels wheels him over to the bit where they take photos And in the photo This supposedly disabled child It his arms above his head? Ohike he's cheering. it's m. Hes It's a miracle. It's a mat' the magical kingdom. I need to let him writeide it again. it'll cure him They go kink tight. They did they got kick that They had to go put his disabled brother back in the wheelchair. Wow. And his disabled brother got kicked out of the theme park. Wow For letting his brother pretend that he was disabled while he was now. Yeah When it comes to looking your best, Beachbum tanning does it better. Beeachbum delivers advanced sun and spray tanning, luxury skincare, and an elevated salon experience designed around you. It's why so many guests trust Beachbum for flawless color and real confidence. And now Beachbum is expanding Mon' services to many locations, with red light therapy and infrared sauna, with more on the way, Rcharge your body, refresh your skin, reset your day. Beachbum isn't just tanning. It's full spectrum wellness. Visit beachbum dot com to find a location near you This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistus with Matt Rogers and Bo and Yang. 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One of the fears that I had was I remember the only times I've truly toured, obviously you shoot things in different places, but being in a