Reflecting on Relationships and Expectations

And the night before what they were tied up to a terror You never know . So in their bitch in line, just think about that. We just got their hands on t .i Okayred . Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Honestly Smartless. I'm Chelsea Toronto and I'm doctor Lindsey and welcome. Each week we're just two nom girls, chit chiding away, sometimes they're smart, always hilarious. Yeah . Ooh , go next . Boom . The New York Knickerbockers after fifty three years have won the world championship in the NBA . Whoa, proud to be a New Yorker. Proud to be on the bandwagon . Honestly, if the Spurs would have won, people would have been mad. Yes. We would have been like you guys ruined something magical. Yeah. Take a back seat. It's not your turn, okay? I love 'em. Legacy teams win. Yeah, something magical. It sure was fun to watch all those New Yorkers be excited. I have my championship ring on that we got from your dead mother in laws. It wasn't necessarily your mother in law, but this person was in fact dead. I robbed her. Good shit. You know I did today? No. I called my husband fat. Oh shit, you did. God damn . I thought you said you didn't get up too much this morning . Well , I know, right? We were driving to pick up my car in the morning . Just rolled out of bed . Oh boy . And And I was grolling through my Instagram and I saw this guy , someone you hooked up with in the past . He is a top ten finalist out of thirty two thousand people at the Gyma Work Ad for winning the Grand Prize. So he got shredded in the last sixty days. There was a sixty day challenge at my gym. That sixty day challenge is over. I'm so excited because hey, I don't know who this person is at the gym. Don't tell me . Two , I can't believe the sixty days is over. Remember we were so excited for your husband to get involved in this sixty day challenge with this trainer. Okay, okay, okay, go on. Yeah. This is what it's like to hear in real time. This guy that I know he's in the top ten. I slept with him. Yes. Okay, don't tell me so excited. Three top ten. He wasn't bad before. He's ripped now. Would he sleep with me again? He's married with a child, so probably not at this moment in time, but yeah . Okay, go ahead. Asking my husband, so what happened to the challenge? You didn't finish it, did you? He's like, Yeah , did you do all the workouts? He said, Well, I did the ones that my trainer gave me. Did you do the lower body ones? He said, Well, I did some of them . Like, oh, I just wasn't sure if you finished it or not . And he was like , well, I do have other things to focus on in the last sixty days other than working out Okay, and he's like, and I'm not fat, so it doesn't matter. I was like, I've only got a little belly here. I pinch his belly That's the nicest way of saying that you need to lose some weight. Then I got real quiet in the car . Then it's time for me to get chopped off. I'm like, okay buddy Do you think the message was received? I hope so. That's not the first time I've said it and there's just a little belly there. I don't love it when men have that haunt bat back here That's the one that gets me. The saddle bags. Is that what that is? Yes, uh, I thought saddle bags was like the shit on my Oh, I don't know. What's this called? You know, when you got like maybe that is a saddle bag on your outer thigh. Yeah. Whatever the roll pole is that goes over the waistband, I don't like that. That like hog of fat right there it's just like yeah I don't know what it is but I don't care for that one because that looks like it's been sitting there a minute . Belly fat is soft and cute and can kind of be manipulated to like in a little bit. You can hide it, but that like backfat I don't love back fat on other people. I don't like it on myself when my bra does me dirty. Oh my god same. Stop doing that bras . Stop doing that because you know you have the elastic. So if there's any fat back there, it bulges out. That's not cool. But I don't have that. But you don't have that. You don't have that. I almost did yesterday after everything we've been through . Take my shit away from me. I'm gonna have back like that . Don't fuck with my shit. Kill you . What? I'm gonna kill you over my backpack. I would kill . I would kill him so serious . Oh God, the nostrils flared. So that's what's going on in my neck of the woods. I just couldn't help myself because sometimes when someone is annoying you, it's just like I couldn't help myself. What more important things do you have to focus on the last sixty days? I know. What? Work. Being annoyed at you? Yeah . Annoyed at me. That does take up a lot of brainp,ower I'm sure. So then we were grocery shopping this morning and he's like, Oh, I better get a frozen pizza when you're gone during the week. I'm like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna be going on Monday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night I don't know what's going on Saturday yet. So yeah, I'm busy this week . I know me this little pouty face. I'm like, okay, well I told you . That's a lot of days for him to work out since I won't be home. What's happening here? I don't know. I don't know. It's sassy. I think it's in the air. I don't know if you guys could tell but the energy Lindsay and I are having, we are getting restless. Like this energy we talked about it a little bit last week. We were like not intentionally trying to breadcrumbo. We can't talk about it. Well, guess what? This week I'm gonna talk about it. I don't know if you notice earlier I was talking about the twangs because I did watch that documentary about that girl that wanted to be pregnant so bad she killed that girl took that baby out of Oklahoma and I was wondering could, I be that country, not cut out a baby of another game? That's not the country portion I'm talking about. What I am talking about is , could I ever want a baby that bad ? Baby that baby want to cut out it the belly . Although Wade is that hot . Oh yeah, Wade the cowboy, he really fills out a shirt. Aw the ugly space I ever made. He's a big boy and he does have backfat. Actually, you know, certain type of back fat is different . He has a good kind of backfat . There is. If you have the kind of backfat that's like the soft belly fat, somehow that doesn't irk me. You have that hard fat that just sits there that fucking gets me I'm a fat ass and I know this so I know all of it. I can you're like, ye yeahah, not. Yeah,, I am. Just believe me. Yeah, that's solid brick. I know my roommate has that brick on the saddles . And I'm like, what? It's been there a minute . Yeah, it's getting harder . Get up , get out. I look like Katie Perry today. Oh , this portion. The hairline . Okay. You know, she's got that weird hairline . I didn't say it was good. I just said 'cause she's got like a very curtain . Oh, I see. That's what I'm going. I would say you're prettier than Katie Perry. Oh, thanks. And boy is her boyfriend hot. How would Justin shoot out? What a random coupling. I know hop star prime minister. Oh, he's so hot. She's so hot, forgetting him. Would I cut that baby out now, but wait is hot? I bet he's getting so much ass right now. And I hope so. He's this quiet red haired cowboy king . Mm She would cook for me. No, she would pick up the kids. She would, you know, help out around the farm, she would come with h meunt, she did everything I asked, and I saw she's so sweet. He's such a sweetheart. Did you watch it? I watched that part. I fell asleep. Well, he didn't love her. Oh, well, I guess I saw the part where he loved her initially. He said she wanted me to love her, but I never said it. Oh , and I was like, Oh, wait, why did you stick with him? You did. Because you're a good man. He's a good man. What are you doing? Do you need a room? Oh wait, you're in Oklahoma. I bet he is I bet you for three grand a month you can be living in a mansion . You know what? Okay , so I gotta be honest with that three grand a month that money that he was trying to promise me, there is no way that's ever coming through on the regular. I was like, I'm an idiot . Why the fuck did I think? When he's like, No, I swear I'll give you six grand a month. You can't even afford he just lost a job. Oh , the funding on one of his construction jobs has dried up and they haven't sold a lot in twenty four months. So a job that funded five grand a month has been . Okay . Okay . So you make twenty grand a month. You're gonna give me six. Right. Not regularly. So I'm gonna have to figure some out. Anyway , so like I was saying the other day , our energy is kind of stifled a little bit. You know, when you feel so bottled up and just like I feel like I'm suffocating and we live very energetic lives or big energy . And when we don't speak for Lindsay, but my energy, when I don't know where to put it, it's gonna go somewhere . It's going to places. And I don't know where to harness this restless pent up energy. And so I'm just like getting a little squirrely and I'm just taking it out on people around me and it might not always be in the best positive light even though I'm trying to be positive because that's my natural state, but sometimes I just don't know how to use all my energy. How are you gonna use it? Because I know what I'm doing . Dig in' it dig downged. Dig down. I mean, I'm getting digged down, but married dick doesn't count as getting digged down. That's like literally the baseline of literally of being married. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe we'll take it out on my picketball game. Maybe take you on podcasting. I don't know. That's when I'm going out and about all the time. I've got to like talk to people. I have words to say. Right. What are we frustrated about because we haven't been paid for our podcasting professionalism . That's fine , but not so fine. But what's happening ? I just have this like look in my eye that's like, I am ready to fuck it up. And so but I don't have to worry about that because my roommate will do it for it. Okay, so my roommate had one of his episodes . It must be quarter two right around the corner. Oh, look at that. Time for another major meltdown brought to you by alcohol and drugs . Our bestie Johnny needed somewhere to stay. Of course , you and your boyfriend broke up, say nothing more. I'll be at the door ready for you whenever he called me like on a Thursday. It's been a really long week. So today's Sunday , Thursday, Johnny calls me and he's like, I need a place to stay while I'm at work at ten thirty. You know something's up and somebody calls you at ten thirty. I said, absolutely, I'll be home by eleven thirty My area over here was completely clean. The beds, the sheets were changed, the bathroom was clean. I mean, I was ready. I understand what it means to go into high gear like that. He came over, he was so grateful, he could stay however long you need , you know, floating the idea of three weeks. All right, well let's see what happens. We've had long term house guests before. Yeah. And it's that time of year where you get a long term house guest. For fuck sake , my house, would you say my house is what? Turning into a Turning into a flop house for wayward sports. Yeah. I'm the one that's supposed to be leaving . How is everyone coming to stay with me? I am not grounded and I am not a safe haven for wayward needy people. I'm the one that's needy. I was like, What's happening here? I'm the needy one I need help . Who's taking me in? No, that's a true question . Thursday night and Friday night, I come home at night . I spent the night out on on Thursday night. Yes. It's okay. One of the Johnny spends the night. Next night I am out telling my roommate I'm gonna be out late . Okay , well, I told you do the dogs . That's what co parenting looks like . And then the following night , work, come home . My roommate and Johnny are drinking at the kitchen counter , which it's a rule here in the house that well how about this? It's a rule that he chooses to implement in his own life not to drink at home And I was thinking about it . It's really helpful that he doesn't drink at home, but then I think there was a time not too long ago I thought maybe there was a possibility he was drinking at home unbeknownst to me. And I was like, Where the fuck does this bottle of vodka come from? Whatever so they're drinking. And in an instant I walk in and I was so bummed to see to see my bestie partying with the person I consider the enemy . Because when my roommate drinks , if you take Adderall with it, some adderlin' bed room. When you drink on an adorable, maybe not for everybody . Maybe just this individual in a concoction. Can't speak for everyone, but it helps this person drink even more and now he's blacked out, but very function ing. Yes, it's wild. I know. It's hard to tell when he's blackout, but you know. You can see it . You can hear it. It's horrible . Anyway, so those two are drinking and partying and there and he's my roommate's giving in the business now this isn't what you need to do about your relationship. You need to cut off that financial leach . So course it always comes down to finances. I wish I could fuck this guy over financially. So he's going back and forth. He's like, No, you listen to me. You listen to me and he's like, And Chelsea, don't you go anywhere? We're gonna talk about last night . I'm like, I was like, I'm just making my bed . Like get over here . So now he's going back and forth between. So it looks like it's a jovial, they're drinking, it's Saturday night, blah blah . But it's not. I know I'm gonna get it for being out because I can't be out anymore . Apparently I can't sleep away from the house. He's like, Where were you? Last night I was like, I told you I was gonna be at night. Where were you? Out Well, then maybe you should go back there, ho I was like, believe me, I wish I could . Because that wade knows how to do it. He's a hog farmer. Let me tell you I wish I could. He's like go back there ho and I was like okay and I was like well he's like whoever you're sleeping with whatever guy you're sleeping with. I him was like who said, it's a guy? He's like his face starts twitching and his brain can't compute. Like what? If you're into that kind of stuff, I was like 'cause I thought maybe I could throw him off the scen a little bit better of his female friends. He's like, Oh, I know . I was like, Of course you do. You know everyone in this town. Have we not established that before? I was like, You know her her . Like you need to go back wherever you stay 'cause you cannot stay here. And just like people when they drink, they just keep repeating the same thing over and over and over and over again. And there's no talking sense into them. So we've lost the I make sense and can have a r ational conversation train. Departed. I'm stuck with the blacked out, drugged out . This is very complicated and really what this story is about. Let's see, victims of ab , victims of alcoholism , children who have been abused by parents , maybe siblings who've been abused by their parents because what happened last night Johnny was with me the whole time and I turned to him and I was like, Don't fucking leave . He's yelling at both of us at the same time while we're sitting on the couch. Sure , like pointing down to us like we're kids . I'm just come off work. I'm stone cold sober. There's nothing going on, and I'm thinking to myself, God , I want this sounds so bad , but I wanted him to burden some of that abuse . Mm . Yeah , I feel so bad that I wanted to throw onto the bus and like make the kids. So first, I didn't have to. And it was like, oh, I would do anything for my friends . And I didn't because I was so mad at him it felt like Tony is well versed in everything that happens when my roommate gets like this . And so I kind of thought he would have done the things to avoid that . And I don't think he realized to what extent I felt what was Lord betrayed. Betrayed by him drinking with the enemy . And so he did . And once or twice he came to my hepted to come to my aid and he was like, Oh man , roommate, don't talk to her like that. And he's like, fuck you. You don't tell me how to talk to her or I can talk to her however I want to in my own house. You get the fuck out fuck going . The funny part was when he'd be screaming, he's like, You guys , can't I sleep with someone now or do I need to wait a little bit longer And now I just broke up with my boyfriend Is it too soon ? He's masterful . He's a masterful. He did that a couple of times in which he would try jolt us out of it . It was brilliant and I loved it. He did it a handful of times. It worked a couple of times. He lost his shit on Johnny. And he's like, get the fuck out. Donnie's like, Telsie, come with me and I'm like, I can't, I can't. And this is fucked up. So if you ever see a movie or you ever hear something and they say, Why don't you leave ? Because you will always have to go back and it will always be worse . So if Johnny left around I don't know midnight I don't really know what time . He had to leave and I had to stay and I had to stay with the enemy Because where was I gonna go? Right . Where was I gonna go? You know what? Like an idiot, I fucking forgot that there's a sofa outside of my apartment door why the fuck didn't I sleep up there? I'm like an idiot. Meanwhile, this guy , my fucking roommate's like sitting on me poking me . Literally, poking me in the chest 'cause you know, I'm sleeping on this hoof outside . Poking me on the chest . You need to get out. You need to get out. When you leaving? When are you leaving? Let me get you out. You can't sleep here. You need to get the fuck out over and over and over and over again . And at one point , as this is all happening, like it's like, yeah , what's wrong if I was hooking up with someone? You're pushing me over the edge and I'll tell you everything. But I didn't say everything because I don't want other people's lives to be impacted. So that's where I stopped because I do feel real bad about the way I let that happen with Johnny and I got so mad at him . And I was like , I was like, Hey, I'm going out. Can you do me one huge favor? Can you move my car from outside parking lot into the inside parking lot? Because it gets towed at like eleven twenty nine . I called him at seven and he said, I will do that in twenty minutes . Well, fucking eleven twenty nine's coming and that motherfucker didn't move it. And now the tow trucks are set up. I'm like, what the fuck? because A, you said you would. B, you're so grateful to be a housekest. Okay, fine. But the fact that my roommate's now fucking involved because he's pulling up, he's getting home just as my car's being pulled off the goddamn tow truck . And I was like, what the fuck? Okay , would I have been this upset if it had just been he and I? Maybe a little less, but why am I angry? Because now my roommate thinks I'm I'm like, irresponsible . It's just one more thing for him to be very angry with me. And I'm like, well, how about all the times I've run down and I've saved your car? And he's like, that doesn't matter. Nothing matters what you do. It only matters what I do. So I was like, Johnny, what you don't understand is everything you've done in this evening has put me in even more dangerous, precarious situation. What Donny means morning, I need Johnny to think like a man and he's been thinking like a child There's real adult themes going on here. We look funny. I look goofy . It's not goofy over here. Right. Like you about it later on, you're like, Oh , you throw another room with bal thecony Doo to do. You know, you say it in a lighter way? That's the only way you can. Exactly . But it's not light. It's not light. The only thing light is me. Yeah. And it almost wasn't because he was fucking with my shit . So if you could just get through those dark dark hours of the night this morning , like we're looking at four now and at nine AM he starts pushing me to wake up because I got earplugs. I'm like asleep. I'm exhausted now . That emotional drainage is a different kind of tired . He's like, get up. You need to get all the fobs. I want 'em all I keep losing all my ship, but everyone keeps saying that's a sign for something better to come. And I was like, great because I've lost all my keys . And somehow was too that I can't remember that meant something something . So he's like, get out, get out . And that 's the point of that . I mean, it just kept on going in the morning. It didn't stop. And I was like, You didn't sober up yet? Did you take more drugs? Like, what's happening here? And the thing is, like, oh, she's Tom Cat and staying out . For like ten years, I sat at home and I waited just for him to like want me . I wanted him to like want this life that he went along with and then you chose not to. All right, fine. I mean, it took me a long time to be able to say fine , I accept you as a person, but why can't you just let me be me? Oh, so this isn't really the terms in which we keep thinking it is well, let me replace . I'm not in the relationship I thought I was. I thought, okay, you can do you, you just can't bring it home. That appears to be less of the truth. So long story short . I am so grateful for the outcome of this weekend because I'm going to move out . That's it. Fuck that. I'm so fucking over this bullshit . Right. And his argument is, I provide your lifestyle, I pay for everything. So you're gonna do what I tell you to do. What you have to sit at home twenty four seven . Like what the fuck? And you can do whatever the fuck you want because you make more money . No, no . The level of trauma and abuse that is this situation I'm no longer safe . Like I am not safe . So I need to get out like, oh, is it safe now at eleven on a Sunday? Of course. Is it safe Monday night at like seven thirty? Yes. Those are lovely hours. Yes. It's the hours that you can't control. You don't know when that enemy comes in. Yeah. And then I came over after this all happened and he was yelling at you again. He just would not stop going . And then when he realizes that I'm here, he's just like, Oh hi. I'm like, hey . Then he stops, but he still is yelling at you. And then we proceed to leave and like go on with our day and like you go to Target massage or whatever. And that psychosis switched off what somewhere mid afternoon yesterday. And it's like, oh, come back . The dogs that love you , they need you. Come back home. Let's do this together It's so fucked in the head and then you know you get tricked into thinking well it's safe now I'll go back home but I know you are not tricked . You're not tricked, but there's a part of me that's like relieved at like, okay, I could just go home and take a breath. There was a part of me that was in my mind I was like finally somebody gets to see how bad this is I would love for you to be there when Johnny downloads just so you can like, I mean, you're not going to hear anything different, but I would just be from the content plot purposes You hear what this combat zone looks like . Yeah, then Johnny called me crying and he was really upset about what happened and I woke up and I got a phone call from him. I'm like, okay, I'm coming over right now. here He call'sing me. I'm like, I don't know what is happening. There is so lots. I was like, What's wrong with you? I'm like, I don't know. I'd be like knocked on the door before I came into your house because I'm like, I don't know what the fuck I'm walking into right now. Yeah . That was bad. This was like the worst time. It was the worst one . The fact that other people are involved, but could you imagine if you hadn't been here? I know. It would have been so much worse . So not just moving out. I'm gonna move out . I don't know. I'm just gonna just go to the marks. Come on over. Yeah . Why would I make my life harder? I know. You can't move that far away. No . I especially need to be close. So what got me turned up thinking was like I let John H end for his own because what am I gonna do is step in the line of fight? But then I was like, well, I wouldn't have let come at you . I would have , but I feel bad. I didn't honestly, I think that you were just in fight or flight mode at that moment. And you have to protect yourself. And I know you did not do it to be nefarious towards Johnny. It was just that's your response Let the kid go. I know. And then I turned on him and I got really mad. But I was like why you know we could have avoided maybe a little bit of this and he just kept roaming around in all the rooms to like fuck with us . It was so bad . Anyway , let me tell you about cyber . Yes . Oh my god, this guy is so dope He's awesome. He's so fun. People can be fucking dope . There's good people out in the world who will let you beat you Cyber and I went for a drive the other day. I mean fucked by the river. Magical day right there. So while I'm getting my ass chewed out, I was like, just think about the river Fuckin' by the river. It was so dope. I mean, it's just it's a lovely experience. I'm feeling very grateful . Yeah , I was just getting it. Oh , the river's the least of things . Oh , do you tell , you guys , I actually came from sex like intercourse . I don't know if we can hear you. I actually orcasmed from intercourse. Wow . No, it was a big fucking high now. That's a really big deal . I know. I can't come period. There's so many chemicals in this body that prevents me to having any feelings . The ones that I just choked off, that . So especially so now okay and he was like well that didn't seem very hard and I did it. I think we can recreate that . This guy's daddy vibes are cute . He's lovely . He's a good person. Lady baby girl yet. Steam over when that happened. Steam fucking over. Oh my goodness , gracious. This individual is so great. Ladies , you want his number, I'll give it to you because he's amazing and no one should gatekeep this man. He should procreate, not necessarily be a dad, but he should procreate amongst us in hopes that we will generate another generation of this. I don't know about that, but I'm just saying like, fuck yeah, dude . Hi . I did. It was so fun. Go for a walk and you hold hands, and then you come back, you smoke a little bit, and the smoking is what allows me to disconnect enough . My next goal is to try and do it without having to smoke and just have my body do it all on its own. Okay, yeah. You know, taper off a little bit of time. So we'll see what that's going to look like I'm still taking meetings . Yep , networking. Yeah. Networking . You know, but now when you've got something great, you're like, well, you're not as great as great, so and your eyes are too far apart . And you're too old and you're stuffy . Stuck up, but I do love lunch. Let's see, fills out a shirt, huh? Shouldn't meet your heroes. You shouldn't meet your heroes. Shouldn't converse with your heroes . Kind of ruins the magic. It ruined the magic. It's fun to think about but should I be really hot? 'Ca heuse's no access. Then he had full access and you were like, just kidding . I'm good. I didn't like it. I thought I did after pining for three years, but no, I know. Sometimes it's just better left that way. I know I was getting like twelve vibes just sitting there yeah and you're like no people don't treat me like that. They don't. Now you should treat me like the princess that I am. This is what you should tell him I'm pretty sure I did. Like, hey, put your phone away . Fucking listen to me. Yeah. Why are you on your phone? Like what's better than what we're doing right now? One of my turnoffs is not listening That's just human decency because I'm a great conversationalist. Like people tune in weekly to hear what I have to say. You've got me real life and you choose to be what? Scrolling on some bullshit, I'm engaging with you. Do I think I'm an ego maniac? I do , but when we're all having a conversation, it's rude. Put your fucking phone away. You're not twelve. Talk to me. Right. Don't try to get with me and not listen to me . I don't care for that My ex roommate did that. It should have been, well, that poor kid, that kid being me twenty years ago. You didn't know any better. I did not know any better. Doing fun shit. You were on PJ traveling. Every single person would have done the exact same thing. One hundred percent. Yeah. I don't I can't feel. Hey, my new favorite sneakers are back. Thank God. Thank God, this is one last thing I have to hear about all summer . I have a good shoe. I have a good sneaker shoe game right now and I'm happy. I actually have a good sex game going on too. got the sperries. I've got the gholas. Everybody's got what they want. Yep. My snakes . So I'm gonna move out. I'm so excited and I was standing in the shower thinking I will make the bedroom the living room and the bedroom will be the studio, the closet. I love that. The office . Yes . I need that instead. I don't care about sleeping. I shouldn't be sleeping that much anyway. It'll be office slash closet . Yeah. That's what I did in one of our old apartments. The second bedroom was a closet. Slash office. Yeah, slash perfect. Podcast, recording studio. A mash. We're gonna have so much room. I know . Watch , we're like, Oh my God. This studio apartment's so much better than the penthouse you were living in. Literally . Yeah . Well, domestic violence is my favorite charity, but it's hard knowing that people are standing in line next to them at Starbucks, whatever . And the night before what they were tied up to a charity You never know . So they're a bitch in line just, think about that. They just got their hands on tide, okay? Cyber must be eating spinach out of a can twelve percent body fat has recently had a shred like glow up . He saw your body and he's like, Damn, I gotta step it up . There's no more steps to have and we're there . We've officially reached your way to have it has been crossed over. I wonder if people look at us and think , that's an attractive couple. Probably. I've never been in one of those before. I'm not even in a couple. I'm just saying in the event that anyone saw us in public. Yeah. And when you look so good and you're very confident in yourself and you take care of yourself, you deserve to be with someone who looks just as good and cares just as much. You can get annoyed . It's challenging You want to talk about it? Well, this is what happens usually . Okay, so maybe a few years ago, twenty twenty three was the worst year of my entire life . And then it got better january first, twenty twenty four. Then I had glow up and I was working out more . Eventually he catches up to me. It just takes a year for him to see the changes that I'm doing for him to want to catch up. I don't remember it that way. I started working out a lot more and then when you worked at a gym? Yeah, when I worked at a gym. Sure. So then a year after that, then he's like, oh, well, I think I'll start working out more. Okay, yeah. All right, I do remember that . Yeah. Okay. I'm still working out, but now I'm going out more and I want to be doing more. I have more friends. It's going to take another year for him to catch up on that side of workout at friends and work. I work a lot and I still make time for all the things. So I think it's he'll see me doing cooler things and then he'll catch up. So what are you gonna do? I guess I'm gonna wait it out. I mean, what can you do? I know. Literally nothing. Yeah, literally nothing. And I told him the other night when we all went out, okay, we're supposed to have girls night on Friday night and that's a ring, not that I don't want you want to hold hands? I do want to hold hands. We were holding hands the other day for a minute. I know. No, oh yeah, let me see. Champions ring. Yeah. We went out the other night, suppos ited was to be girls night and then it turned into his coworkers' party. Oh , I was so mad and then we're like bee bopping around and we're walking down the street, checking things out, and then we're doing this, we're doing that. I'm like, see, isn't that fun? Is this so fun to go out? He's like, Yeah, it's fun. And isn't it fun? This is what I want to be doing. I just want to live a bigger life. I want to have more friends and meet more people . And he said, Yeah, that takes time . Have you met us? I know. I'm like, did you hear what I just said? I'm like, I don't even really compute your answer. What do you mean time? What do you mean time? What are you talking about? I know. I'm like, I think we're having two different conversations . What did you just hear? Because it wasn't about time. No, it wasn't. I said nothing about time. Oh gosh So yeah, I was just annoyed with him all night when we went out, I'm just like you might have been annoyed prior to that. Yeah, I think I was annoyed prior to that. I didn't like his outfit. Like why are you wearing that shirt? Why does the shirt fit that? Why are you wearing those shoes? With those sock s? Why did you not put effort in? Just everything about it. Then we went out and I was like, Why are you standing so close to me? Why can't I go walk around and do something else? Why can't I spend the night out like you do. Oh wait no. What I can tell you is he crashed our girls night. He did crash our girls night and it was like, well if I don't invite him a girl's night, he needs to be mad . So then that's a whole other thing to deal with. So I'm like, okay, well I guess if we bring the whole entire group , then we could kind of wander and do our own thing. And his fun group is really work . Yes. there's nothing wrong with that. They're a tight knit group that has trauma bonded or over some difficult office situations. Yes. Whatever. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I'm around those people all the time and they're really nice, wholesome people. All they do is stand around . They are the nicest bunch of losers you've ever met . Okay, they're nerds. They're not nerds. They're nerds. They're a bunch of nerds and they're so friendly and they're so kind They're nice. Yeah , but they're not my friends, but I spend a lot of time with them because I don't have other friends . So I have to hang out with my friends when they're hanging out with other friends and it just happened to be the first half of that night was with their loser dark work friends. They're really nice people. I'm saying this and just. Yes. And my husband likes to be friends with his coworkers. So fucking much. , you know, I know. Like a lot, like a lot. He wants it to be his life. Yes. Fine. Well, why can't you take your life and go somewhere else other than the girls night that I was at? I orchestrated a girl's night on a Friday night that took two girls from the suburbs to meet a fun young twenty seven year old young , hot prime of her life downtown at a dance club. Do you know how hard it is to get three people three different decades of ages on a Friday night at a dance bar? Very hard . No one called out. No one said, I'm tired. No one said, I don't want to go. Are we still doing this? What time do you think we'll be back? Nobody said anything except let's fucking go. Our friend that we made you did you reach out to him or an apology? No, sorry. You really should do that to my friends. I'm having to remind my people to apologize to the people that I brought've them in . Because like , I kept saying all night, we need to go meet my friend . And then well, I didn't, but we blew her off. Yeah, no, I've totally fucked it up. Could you maybe acknowledge that . And then she was there and then we weren't for these loser nerds who then like I'm only mad at them in the story. I'm not even mad at the friends, but it was like , who the fuck is not letting me be where I need to be? I don't answer to any of you people . What's taking so long ? And then she was like, Is it gonna be what? And I was like, honestly, no, because husbands and like work friends have crashed it. So she's like, all right, then I'll drive to Thornton that's where she lives. I see. Yeah. And like, I wasn't really having fun. No, they fucking like don't I'm so mad at these everybody except Cyber . Fair enough . No, it's not like that, but I'm just saying like yeah, I mean it was I was looking forward to a girl's night and like dancing and like going out to like a new place and doing all that jazz . My mom that didn't happen and then I was really annoyed. Well, yeah, and then I came home. Is that the night I came? Yeah . No , it was the fucking night I came. That was the night. We're getting our days confused. And this is why it was bad because when I , either Johnny or my roommate called me as Lindsey was dropping me off from the bust of a girl's night out . I could hear it in their voices that they had been drinking and they're like, when I could hear them on the phone. And I'm like, oh, damn. And he was fucked up . And I was so like , okay, go ahead and just drop me off into the shit storm of abuse I'm about to walk into . And your husband, he don't he didn't mean anything, but it was so insensitive. He was like, good luck . Yeah. I was like , fuck you . You have no idea what I'm about to go into . It was so hurtful. And then the next morning he was like, Fun night, huh? I was like , that's what he said to me yesterday. You did? Yeah . Oh , I know . The problem is with your husband being your husband is sometimes he's my husband and I'm like, I'm fucking mad at you right now. Yes. Hmm . But I just put my head down and didn't respond. I texted him before we came over. I was like, It's really bad. I just want to talk about it. I'm like, Don't ask me any questions. He's like, so fun night . Like, no , that's I said when I say she doesn't want to talk about it, you say nothing. But like what I know what he was trying to do is like, let's talk about the portion of your evening that was fun. And I'm like some people are insulated incidences like this because they've never experienced something this bad . And so they remain innocent and they have no concept of what how bad it can be. Right. And he is such a youthful innocent , like his innocence has been preserved and he is still very much like grandma sends money in a card. Yeah Daddy's gonna do this. And like there's always someone to come to his rescue even though he's like not. And I was like yeah I don't yeah, you know, we're wrestling with a lot of topics today . All I want to do is get banged a lot more . Jesus Christ. Like restlessness is the name of the game. I don't know. And just fucked up, shit . Yeah. So and so last night I told a couple , I'm like selectively trying to tell like customers or regulars that I know might be able to help me and they're like, I,'m like honest Nowly, I need this, to happen. I really am very grateful . I can do hard things. This is a long time coming . How about I do it now before something gets worse , but, you know, he pulls the fucking dog cart . Right. And I can't believe you're giving up on them now. You know, they're fourteen years old. Technically they're thirteen . And I'm like, you don't even know it. Yeah, you don't even know your dogs that way. I say they're fourteen so, people think they look really good Thirteen? Oh, they look thirteen. fourteen though. Oh good. So good. And I do it also because I also say I'm fifty because it's such a hard number for me to swallow that I've been practicing the first six months of this year. You know, I don't turn fifty until January. Right. But because turning fifty it feels like a tough one to swallow . So he's like, oh my gosh, we can live even closer to each other. Oh God . I just like, if I could, a roommate would be helpful. Yes, I don't know who that's gonna be. Johnny, are you sure you don't want to stay? Yeah , right? Dakota. Dakota ? Your place would be very immaculately cleaned. There's only one room in there. Oh . Um , yeah, let's move into a two bed. Yeah , I mean, this is my reality now, but it doesn't matter . Nothing really matters in the house. Nothing really matters. And yeah, you get a one bed studio . I don't know, a one bed. Yeah, a one bedroom for the older things. And the great thing is that we think we have lots of travels in our future and we're we're going out about. It's fine . I don't care if we fuck. Yeah. And with the dogs, okay, you're home enough? Yeah, everybody's home enough. Everybody's home enough. And I'm just annoyed I have to keep coming back here. Yeah. And I want to be like, Oh, 'cause he always says these bullshit things . You know, it's better to be from a broken home than live in one . You better know where your bread's getting buttered . He also loves that one. He's like the farmer's almanac. I'm like dumbass dead sane. She's like, shut the fuck up . How about don't do drugs and drinks and be abusive. Is that one? Do you have one for that? I feel like this episode should get us a pulitzer prize . Jesus, right ? Help me . Hilarious. It's so dynamic. It is dynamic. It's as scary as a pulse or prize. I don't know how much is a potential deal. Yay, yay Well, it is time to go. Lindsey's got important things to do . Yeah . I do. Real important. Save this face card. Yeah, sure time, you're in face, you do whatever you want. Look at me looking at my phone down layer. Okay, well, make sure you put this into the Emmy and Pulitzer Prize Grammy nomination wherever we get awards . And share this episode with all of your besties. Follows that honestly smart list Instagram TikTok YouTuber every year podcast. Give us five stars tells how hilarious we are and we'll see you next time. Bye bye