Audience Reviews and Final Verdicts

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Jay M, Big Paul in the beautiful Jewel going to take you from the gve all the way to the road Ran the gamees the street fight to helped to blow off Steam just to sucker punush the odd life for Timothy Gray Shar Nado the Bird Demick how we stay alive? They call it in the badass and he's on the line Canking Ay eight minutes because they cool is nice ' the bad Jim Barny looking kind and nice and Joe getting lid or Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shot's getting paid. They judge a bunch of movies while they're making the gray. Here's a real question for you how did this get made People of V. And hello, people of Lorgo We are live here in Los Angeles to talk about one of the most important rollerblading films of our time. Before you go any further, I want to tell you that tonight is a How did this getet madeade all star show, which means that Our regular co hosts, Jason Mzucus and June Dian Rayfield will not be here tonight, but instead, I know, I know. instead, they'll be replaced by. How did this Skip Made Ulcers? Hence the title, How did this G Made Ulcers? These are all people you've heard on the show Coming back And let's start with the introductions right here. You know our first guest co host from her show, Bch Sh. She was on the episode Gili And she's written for Al Suny in Philadelphia. Please welcome, Daniee Schneider Have a seat down there Welcome, Danielle. you Thank you for having me. So excited to have you because rollerblading is an important part of your life. Yes, always. I didn't know this was a rollerblading movie. I was confused because there was also a surfing movie. That yes. And also a hockey movie. Yes. That is my core problem W this movie. So that was that was that was a trick of the mind and I I'm still navigating that today. We're gonna we are going to talk all about that. Also, joining us tonight, our second guest Gost This man we have put through hell We have made him watch Shark NATO One. Shark NATO, two Shark NATO. three And also speed two. He is the host of the awesome comedy Bang Bang show on Ewolf He has a brand new special coming up on Valentine' Day on Netflix called the Michael Bolton's bigig sexy Valentine's Day spepecial preremieres on february seventh. Please welcome Scott Okerman. What's up, jerks? Welcome, Scott. I wass trying to play entrance music I would likek that. We'll put it in post veryery excited to have you back for your first non sequel. Oh my God, I was so happy until I saw the film I can't believe this movie has missed me. Did you see this movie? had never even heard about it. I'd heard about the fact that diseases are transmitted this way. I thought it was gonna be a movie adaptation of the great thing you take before airple. I thought it was about a dog who plays basketball. There's nothing in the rulebook. Nothing in the rulebook Our next guest co host, you know him from Oh wow, only one episode. that's surprising to me. I thought he'd been on before this. He was in the Leprechaun in the Hood episode You can see him on Silicon Valley. He has a brand new movie premiering at Sundance called The Big Sick. He's also in the upcoming movie Fist Fight. Please welcome. comeome on, Non Jone Can I say I also thought this was the dog basketball movie? And it is the saddest I've been since the election At what point did you figure out it wasn't? Did you keep expecting a dog to come in dribbling a basketball? Well, there is a dog in the first five minutes. Y Yes. And the kid calls it, Hey dog dog. He calls a dog twice. Did you think that when the parents went away on their vacation that he would go away, the parents would go away and the dog would be like, Well, shit, I'll play basketball thought I thought the movie was gonna be the parents leave, the kids with the dog. and then they're like, we're short one on the basketball team. I want to there's so much to talk about in this movie But this one thing I think just stands out and it's visual, but it's I always say that there are certain signs that you know you're watching a bad movie. And one of them is, the movie is under ninety minutes. This comes in at like a nice eighty three But it's not bad I don't know if it's bad. I' tell you it is the longest eighty three minutes. Oh, you feel it. I would argue that that's probably because there's no real plot. No like that's phing a. How' the plot of maybe one saved by the Bell episode? Yeah I promise you, it was like morning when I started and when I was done, it was dark out. It warped time and space. I would argue that it was it was like hearing the plot of onene Save by the Bell episode as told by someone who doesn't remember the episode of Save byy the Bell. So I think they I think they're surfer., no, no, they're rollerbladers. They're rollerbladers And hockey And and who the bad guy is is still up in the air multiple bad guys, multiple good guys, multiple sports. Girls who are featured hugely for the first ten minutes and go away I wanted to see more of those girls, but this is the thing that I always point to like I love a good production logo that appears and you've never seen before. And this production logo takes the cake. I'm going to narrate it as it goes forward, but check this out It's a It's like fire collides. The name appears. thenen all of a sudden an elf with a sword comes up. The sword goes gleaming And it's Con productions, but I just thought it was like a pretty, I don't why I don't know why the elf felt to me slightly like overkill. Yeah. Well that's that's what the movie is because the movie is like four things at the same time. And so is this logo. The fire has nothing to do with the elf Has nothing to do with the word icon. Yeah, it doesn't it feels You know, as iconic as an elf on fire We need people to understand that icon pictures can be anything. It can be elves with swords and fire Yeah, and yeah, and it has nothing to do with the film you're about to see. No not at all. I mean, you know, they didn't make it thinking they would get to make one movie. They were like, this is the first one, but This arguably, I think is one of the most aggressive nineties movies I've ever se seen. Yes, It was filled with just the guitar licks alone wereere so like Beverly Hills nine hundred two. They got they literally said to the guy who did Beverly Hills nine hundred two they're like, we love you. We love your music. Please score our movie. Point of order, I have to say, the music is done by Stuart Copeland, drum of the police. Yes, you are right O the other pretty big name associate. This is directed by a guy who directed a ton of Xfiles episodes, including the Xfiles movie. Yes. He also directed the electro film the Sequel the Daredevil. The electrifying film, what? The Yeah, but he's like a good like he was I like Rob Bo. Well he directed that he directed the F x files episode his first x the same year this movie came out. So I have to say this is directed well. It's well directed. I think I do. I know, I agree. that's the thingirect four different movies. He directed them all beautifullul. I'd get them under ninety minutes I would arg Yeahah, that'ses it looks It looks expensive. I think. did. It was. It feels. They don't water shop. It was was budget was two point six million dollars. and it made let me get id you say three point? I'll say I'll say three point four. twenty eight. N. It just came it made some money. It just made some money. It It made four dollars on Amazon for me today. It was I think it's funny that like firstirst of all, it was hard to find this movie. Yes, it was very hard. I couldn't find it using my Xbox. I had to go to my computer. Oh, really? buy it and have it tell my Xbox like he actually wants to see this movie. That's the that's the Xbox looking out for its fers. It's like Really? Yeah, Xbox was cock blocking me from this movie. What I was the beginning shots of the two guys having the guy and his best friend, I thought the entire movie was going to be about them, right and their romance. They have such a great final scene together where they're singing California Girls And then the lead goes, H ha haa, I love that song you open a movie with these two dudes like beautifully rollerblading down the hills of like by the way, Paul was imitating someone rollerblading. Yeah just like And he kind of did this arms out. You sort of look like one of the suupremes a little bit. You were just Team Rollerblade is in full effect. Team Rllerblade, by the way, did the stunt. Yeah, seeays you could tell when it was the actors and when it was stunt people. Yeah. Because the first jump that they do in the movie is so unimpressive And then they're jumping over a car. How to keep a jump in where the guy falls down? Yeah, yeah It's crazy. By the way, apparently the actor of the film was a real roller bllader and that's why he got the job because he took the director to all the cool rollerblading spots in New York guess what You can tell he's a rollerblader and not an actor It was the least likable protagonist I've seen in a movie in a very long time. a gross amount of teeth. E Excuse me. He and the girl in the movie had all the teeth of all the worlds. Yeah. They did take all the teeth in the nineties He to me, it's like also he's a cool California dude coming to Cincinnati, whatever. Again, Paul is doing doing of waves at this point. Always finding the waves. But he has the most unappealing name. His name is like Mitchell Goosen.ike tell you the name a bunch of times like they're super proud of it This's going to be an iconic name. Is' a real Mitchell Goosen type Mitchell Gooussen is not a cool name. I don't feel like what did Mitchell Gooussen say about this? When he meets the girl, they meet cute when they're like and he says his full name, it's like the vibe is so scary It's like, what's he gonna do to her I feel like the reason why that scene was so comfortable was because it was clearly his audition scene because it's like a big monologue about like Gandhi. I did the hands again but like about Gandhi and not fighting for things. L his eyes were like, I got this part. I got it all down. Like he really stared at her He also he has some long Like he does a big monologue when he's mind surfing. You remember that? when he puts like his surfboard on the bed and stands on it and like speaks a lot He aggressively brings his surfboard to Cincinnati. He calls it his stick He says, I don't go anywhere without my stick Which would lead you to believe It's a surfing movie. Yes. I was impressed that they gave it to him on the Tarmac. M too on the tarmac. Well it was f nine hundred eleven guys. Yeah Yes. Simpler time. That is made clear throughout the movie. It's also in the opening they're rollerblading to go surfing. but they don't have their sticks with them. No. do they keep Do they keep the The sticks at the beach. I think they checked the sticks in at the beach The movie seems like it was the whole idea of it was, you know how when surfers they drive to go surfing? What if they rollerblade it Well I feel like it was like, you know, we're pitching this movie. so it would be what the kids do, you know, whatever's rollerbading, surfing, hockey, whatever it is. And then we see him and then we go to Cincinnati and then you know, whatever. he gets in rollerblading, surfing competition, whatever. And they never decided what it was. They're like All of them. Yeah, yeah yeah they'll do it all. They'll do it all. thought it was going to be a hockeyvie. When it locked into hockey, I was like, all right, we're in. Y. hockey movie. let's go My problem with the hockey was that it didn't seem to be school sanctioned hockey. No, who are the villains? Who are this the other team? The preppies. We know the preppies. But the hockey game The first hockey game was in some rag tag hockey room Yes The second hockey game the firstamp was on the street was was rollerbade. So it that was my biggest problem.ike So you would think if you're writing this movie, you go, all right, well maybe the thing that he brings to the table is rollerblades. Yes. But no, they're all fucking great rollerbladers too Everyone in this town knows how a rollerblade really good and hockey. That's a very good point. I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, I was like that would be like what he's adding to the mix. He adds nothing to the mix. He adds nothing to the mix. He adds nothing to the mix. He has nothing to learn in this movie. He shows up fully centered and talking about his fucking Nonviolence or whatever And then he ends the same way He like and his whole struggle in the movie is to not like get into a fight with someone. Wh' od because he doesn't and to ride out six months The stakes could not be lower this going be Today's podcast is brought to you by our friends over at Squarespace. You know I love Squarespace because with Squarespace, everything that you need to succeed online is in one spot. Fr claiming your domain to building a beautiful website, promoting your work and taking payments. It's all there, whether you're just starting out or ready to grow. Easily create a standout site using designer AI with drag and drop editing, it makes everything so easy. 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They look amazing. and here's the best part about it. They're not as expensive as competitors, okay? Make your summer wardrobe easier. Go to quintince dot com slash bonkers for free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty five day returns now available in Canada too. That's QUi nCE dot com slash or bers for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns, quQince. com slash bonkers. In the end, the reason why he's hated by the bullies First of all, is this because he's from California. So that's Also as an insult they call him prettyret boy. I'm like, that's not an insult. Yeah Have you ever been called that g? I would love it. I would love it Hey, pretty boy. Oh than hello Thank you so much But then the reason why he gets really hated by the school is because They oddly draft him out of the crowd to play on their hockey team and then is mad when he sucks. He doesn't own goal. He goldals the wrong goal. But they called it wasn't like he goes, hey guys, I could play hockey. putut me in. No. No, he's like in the stands not even really there to enjoy why He's not even in they sort of want him to do it as a punishment to him. So why are they so mad Yeah they want to ye they want to win, but they also want to embarrass this kid so they put him on their own team. It makes no sense. Put him on the other team and score a goal. And also he did score a goal, even though it was for the wrong team. He did show prowess on the court. used his abities. J first hit him in the right direction. was solid. It's like, why not yeah, why not say, okay, we've got something here? It's a very minor adjustment we need to make T around eighty degrees. Yeah And by the way, I was a little bit confused though too, because It seems like you'd have to be a real moron to not understand how hockey works. Like it's not like, what is this sport? Like, you know, it's like I will say though that his team didn't no one had the same shirt on. So he couldn't tell who was on his team. Why buy that out? Why did he wear different? outf I guess they were rag tag. Okay. But yet they were but yet there is a real scoreboard because but it's weird because it is also like they're playing it seems like outside of school, like not school sanctioned. And then later on then they have a a less school sanctioned like rollerblading version of hockey. like Yeah. and more people come to that Yeah than the school sanctioned one. And then I was just watching like imagining the whole game stopping down for a half hour while he got dressed Like what were they doing? How did he just show up like? It just is like a hard cut to him in the outfit like, oh, this is comedy. but I just was thinking like that's a that's a lot hour to get to get to get some put. Now by the way, don't be mistaken. this movie, hockey is not a major part of this movie. Yeah. we shouldn shouldn't even be bringing it up. No, sorry. You could argue the third act has nothing to do with hockey. The biggest challenge of the movie Hockey is not present at all. It is a movie that to your point, it does keep you guessing. It starts off You're like his parents are like, we're going to Austria. I was like, o, great, it's a movie about an American kid who has to make it in Australia And then they're like, No, we're leving. I'm like, o Okay, great. it's an American kid who gets the house to himself in California. They're like, No, you're going to Ohio. Okay, great. he goes to Ohio And then learn hockey. No, it's rollerblading And Yeah And like they make a big deal of getting his surfboard off the plane. Like it should be like his rollerblading skates, right? Like I mean Well, he says at one point like something I should have remembered. Yeah, dip shit, you're going to fucking Cincinnati. I will argue the movie is called Airborne and I don't wan to really call too much attention to it, but airborneing doesn't really happen until I would argue the last frames of the movie, Yeah. It's one airborne. A solid third of this movie is a race at the end. It really should be called Ethbound. Yeah O fuck this kit. He sucks. I have a question on something I've never seen before in a movie where like the movie is from his point of view, right? POV. Yeah, POV. of course. In the first like once he gets to Cincinnati, you see a fantasy sequence from a character we've never seen Pint of view. Oh yeah. where he's like shirtless and Yeah ye. Well no, before that, he's just sitting there and the bully looks at him and imagines throwing him through the window.s And I thought that was real and I was like, oh shit, this movie just got amazing. This movie just got airborne. Yeah They threw him out of a fucking window and I was like O. But then it turns out to be a dream sequence from someone we have not met. It's also a testament to the movie that we've been talking about it for a half hour and half have not mentioned that Seth Green and Jack Black are in there. Yeah There is Jack Black working hard like you could see why Jack Black popped. I mean for I don't think any of his lines were in the script. It couldn't have. He's making shit up It's great. I like a young Jack Black in. I think Seths Green is great in it too. I think look, I feel like you watch those guys are like, these guys are fucking working. They were like, what can I do? Like like give me I'm trying I'll be in the shot. Oh, yeah, you want me in shot. I'll be the shot. Yeah. I'll improvise this too. I will say the the other bully, Jack Black's friend, was thirty five Yeah He was old an older man. Yeah. He's complaining about his hemorrhidage. it was strange to see him surrounded by children. There are weird things that these kids say. I did Oh yeah, I wrote down some stuff. I have this basically, this is at one point they have to like introduce themselves in a speech class. Y This was. And there's one particular that I really want to talk of But it may just be worth watching some of these speech class things. It's pretty great. A a snake don't like speech I never even signed up for it. And I ain't got no hobbies. less you call collecting knives and putting tattoos across the foreheads of guys I don't like hobbies. The first one certainly is a hobby. Yeah. Reallying. And by the way you would argue me, is that the villain of the movie? No, it's just a stereotype. Yeah. No All of the villains have vaguely Hispanic names, including Jack Black. What's Jack Black's name? It' he's like a Javier or something? Or maybe I'm the racist. It know Augie is his name. No, no, but that's his nickname. Okay, God. introduces himself as like a. Oh, he has a long name. That's right. He has a long name. But she gives one of my favorite speeches. I'd like to say she finds hot. It's very time, here we go. This is the next one. Iing out of snake. I love. One of we opportun to love slavave? Yeah Now if you didn't hear that because I rewelinded it when I watch it I want to be Al Pacin'. Love Sleave Al Pacino's what? Love slave. Which I guess he was a hottie of the nineties. I Googled she justess had seen Sent of a woman. Yeah he just done Sent of a woman where he plays a blind man. A blind veteran Vietnam Yeah. Nody watched that and was like, he should be my sex master. I'm a fifteen year old girl and I would really love to be boned out by blind Al paccino Clearly, like he's in his fifties at that point. I had to be. I had to remwind too. I was like, did she just say old man Pacino as her love? O Peino's loveves. makes me think that maybe this script was sitting like on the back burner for a long time But then why would it be about Rller skating? It could have been roller skating. Yeah. I mean everything nineties. Everything is nineties. but we don't have to do Mitchell Goose I don't know, maybe we do. All right, let's go into it. Yeah. whyy not? These are all pretty great, though, here we go. All right. Look at his Here we go Mitchel Gusen at your service. I'm not from around here. What' you tell? Well, I don't have any stories. You don't know what I want to be when I grow? donon't care. just as long as I live near the beach and don't have to wear a tie. I'll be Stalin. Stallin, what? Is it having to wear a tie of something fifteen year old By the way, he angers people like he angers me. I get it.ucking hate him. I get it I side with the bullies. Yeah. When the guy goes, E, I found myself I had already done that gesture. I was like, oh, he's doing it too. I guess we're supposed to hate Mitchell Gz. We are Cleveland in this movie. The audience is Cleveland. The way he like does his hair when he like gets fingers through the side of it. Oh man, He's wearing like a sarapi around a hoodie. But with like a ba under it Like The customer is like, we really need people to know that he's a surfer. By the way also wouldn't you again, he doesn't even bring anything to them. L you don't, like at the end, like, Like the bullies don't go like, oh, we should meditate or we should we should wear this kind of thing. Yeah. He doesn't give he doesn't depart He doesn't give them anything. It's not like nobody learns anything. No one movie. At one point I wrote down he says, makeake waves, not war. He should have been shot And by the way, you're not making waves. You're not you're surfing. Yeah. You're not the moon Good one, right? I nailed him, bro. Also in this scene, everyone's being terrible to each other and the teacher just sits there. The teacher needs to get control of his classroom. The teacher is younger than the thirty five year old bullies And guess what, people, The teacher is the writer of the movie. Sometimes the world just makes sense Just like writing in this movie, just zat back and let his characters Yeah just go off on a journey. I also at one point he says he's getting into a fight with a bully and he says I could give two left testicles about it. and then something and it was are you like Voluntering someone else's testicle Along with yours Tal about what Mitchell Goouson does at high school, which is a lot of shit that I would never do. like first of all, he takes a shit. Yes. I' taking a long time with that shit. He takes out a magazine for that shit He's not he's not like scrambling in there trying to get it done as quickly as possible, running out. That's what I was doing. Also another thing he did I've never seen a lead a romantic lead of a high school movie take a shit and I was shocked. Shocked and walk around with a swey It was too me, I literally was like, I'm no longer attracted to this child I I would argue that the follow up scene is worse because they wet all the toilet paper part. What did they do They went wet toilet paper, but what wouldn't you rather use wet toilet paper on your ass? Which is sort of like having a Japanese toilet in a way? one hundred percent Th just leaving the shit in your butthole? Wait. It' the implication that he leaves the shit in his butth hole? Yeah. So he's walking around like Yeah Because of the shit in his butt hole? Yes. Like he let the shit back up in his butthole. they didn't stuff shit back in it He didn't pull the toilet. putut it back him, I can't wipe. I gotta save this for later. to do this later Even more disgusting than him taking a shit was him during the shower sequence leaning against a dirty shower wall. He is full on shampooing But who leans against the shower wall? O a public school bathroom in which no one else is showering, which made me believe that he just went in there for a shower break. It wasn't like the end of gym because there's no one else there. It's like private shower time, man. I was gagging with the thought of his back against a dirty wall. Like it made me so sick I had to fast. You gagging more there or when you saw this because this actually upset me when Seth Green took a shower. and on his wall, was just Like Like it looks like vomit like a vomit. What is that? Well thank you to Aril Halley our amazing video researcher. We have been looking and looking at this and she and I were emailing back and forth and she's like, I tried to figure it out. I zoomed in on it and I went all back and this morning she emailed me and she goes, I figured it out. Does anyone think they know what's on that wall What is it? Well, no, not what is the product? Do you see something written in there is the name of the girl that he was on a blind. This is okay. so many issues. F of all, baseline creepy. Beyond that, if you're in a movie gonna don't use product that's the same color as the wall. Yeah. there should be contrast. Just use shaving cream, that'll be white No, we gott to get a green thing green body fall. I don't even know what that is. It looks like it looked like to me like I don't know like a snot wall or something. It's not I had a totally different image. I thought. That this family was in trouble And that this house was decrepit and that Grime and grease and no one is cle I was worried. and I' not I literally was like, this family's in trouble. My problem is who masturbates to a girl's name ike you gloria. That's what I was doing before I had access to porn. I would just write down the name of the girl. I would just write down Cindy Crawford and read it while masturbating. Well, that scene is in front of, I think my favorite scene of the whole movie, which is the clothing montage scene. Oh God And you know, all movies in the nineties had this thing where they tried on different outfits, but I believe I feel like this may be the first time you saw a dude do it. I don't think like dudes did. And it was a solid twenty five minute long scene. I have each one of the outfits we can kind of look at, you know, first one obviously was but At first moment my question was, he has all these outfits? Yes. There's a lot of styles that he has in his. He's got a lot of looks. So he got the motorcycle looks. Clearly they were like, Ohh Seth Green's a star. Let's give him a showcase here. But can I say that Gseman was was just he was thrilled. He was laughing. He loved it. He was laughing ass. He was tickled as I've never seen. This movie, they like people laughing. I mean, when a joke gets told at the hockey rank too, they're all like It's like a pan of just laughers like He pulled down his pants. I've never seen people laugh that much at a pants pulled down. I once got a note on a script that said We don't need the people in the movie laughing. We need the audience laughing. And I don't think that these people took that note. That is a great note They were trying to trick us. I'm trying to look like se Why does he have all this stuff? Yeah, it's a lot of, you know, he's just going through all the looks. It was very sex in the city, this whole sequence. This Oh, this one. Okay the one though. I have a question about this whole montage. Yeah, we suppos is he trying to make Goosen laugh or at these to him viable options Because he's goofing around, but also he's disappointed at some point that his friend is laughing at him It slightly seems like he's trying to make him hoardy with this one It is an odd thing and I will go back to this. I really like Seth Green in this movie. I really like Jack Bac in this movie, but My issue with Seth Green's character is don't know how he is weird. He seems multiply weird. Like it's not like, oh, he's blank. It just seems like he's he is weird in many different. Yes. againgain, this is the whole movie. Yeah. It's like four sports. He's five different because you wouldn't be like, o he's just the nerd. just the thing.'s becauseuse that's a megaath like banner there. I wrote down some of the things in his room. It was like a racer head Kiss Then just random skulls, then jack o'lanterns And then mega death and then ACD it's all over the place. Yeah, I too was looking around his room for clues as to who he was and I couldn't make heads of When he first shows up and he turns the light on, it's all weird red. Yeah We're supposed to be like, what doy Bazoid? But I was like, that room's awesome. I liked his room That's what'm saying it was I didn't understand where where he's supposed to be And in this sequence where he's wearing the mesh top in the pants, I like this guy could be the guy was it the butcher Bill from Ss of the Lambs, whatever that guy his name is. A Bill. Ao Bill. Yeahah. Yeah know, when you first meet him, he's a fucking hideous he's a monster. like's dressed like idiot And that's the the problem though with nineties. I mean you know fucking live your bliss, whatever. but But that' trying to tell us something. But when you watch a nineties movie, that's the problem because he's supposed to be like an idiot In the nineties, but when you look at a nineties movies, everyone's kind of dressed like idiots and you're like, oh, I don't know where the base is because the cool guy looks pretty. That guy's wearing a fucking poncho over a hoodie and he's the cool one. And he's like this all the time this is not a podcast bit. But he really is smiling the entire movie You can't find a still frame where the kid's not smiling Well, he says like he also like, He didn't stop smiling till he saw the box office receipts. Anway. Comeo. You can it you can Come on, Komeo. so sorry, you can edit that. I mean, this is a mean podcast. That's too far. This was I know this is the name of the podcast, but I was watching it truly like how did this get made I was like, how did this get in? I feel like it was M. I feel like this is what it was. Someone found out that there was a tax break in Cincinnati and they're like, if you can write a script in four days, we can shoot this. And you can be in it. Yeah. And he's like, what? You could be the teacher l name Supplements, how many do we need to take? And why do I feel like it's never Ending Well, let me introduce you to I am eight, the way to simplify your supplement routine once and for all. IM eight's daily ultimate essentials have sixteen supplements in one drink. 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So whatever you want to do You can make for a friend and make them feel good. And right now you can save twenty five percent off your first order at Zazzle. com That's twenty five percent savings on your first order at zazzle. com. Go make something amazing azzle. com Is there a language that you'd like to learn in preparation for a trip? Yeah, of course there is. When you go out of the country, you don't want to feel like a stupid American. You w to have some semblance of the language. So when you're traveling this summer, there is one thing you need to pack. It is Babel. That's right. Babel is built for real life, not vocabulous, not verb charts, but real conversation practice, even just ten minutes a day with Babel can help you start having real conversations As little as three weeks. Lessons are quick, practical and built by more than two hundred language experts. I absolutely love my experience with Babel. Every day I make a little time for me and Babel to learn and I'm learning just for fun. I'm learning Spanish and here's the thing. I'm starting to really understand it. It feels truly like a magic trick. I love app. If you got summer travel coming up, now is the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to sixty percent off. Go to Babel. com slash bonkers. That's Babel ba bbL. com slash bonkers for up to sixty percent off. Rules and restrictions may apply How is this gonna be? By the way, there is a lot of Cincinnati love for this movie likeike there was an article written about it for the twenty year anniversary. Like yebody celebrated the tw year anniversary of this movie. Well, it must have been twenty thirteen because' movies from ninety three. Yeah, so it's twenty thirteen, they wrote a big there was a big thing about twenty year anniversary rollerblading. When you said big thing Like they shut down all of Cincinnati to kind of All of Cincinati. All of it All four shops. Well listen, the movie sucks. Let's not take shots at Cincinnati. No shot since theight know. I No I believe that Cincinati is very proud of this film tax? I have no facts to back that up, but I believe they're very, very proud. That's sad When they do oh, that was the one thing too, when he is when he shows up Well, there's so many things. When you first see him rollerblading around Cincinnati and he pulls out those roller blades, he creates a Creed esque kind of flash mob of everyone on roller skates. Like everyone has been secretly like having these roller skates and being like, oh, wow, this guy brought out his blades. I guess every like whatever there, the way for three months at this point. Yeah He should he obviously knows where all of these rollerbladers are and he's never gone to visit them or said, Hey, by the way, I have a pair at home. You know, I should get those shipped to me or whatever. He goes right to them. He knows exactly where they are. They have skate parks there. And he didn't seem to be, was he that much better than anybody else? At one point someone says, manan, he's fast That's the only The thing I was most impressed with is that he kept on running down stairs. It was like, well, yeah. I was like, I' never seen rollerbladers like traverse staircases. Like I't know that was a part of rollerblading. Emily was there for like ten minutes while I was watching it and she was like, she got genuinely sad. 'ause she was like some stunt person risked his life for this m Sheo was like that bums me out because that is tough Yeah, that was he but that was pretty amazing in the film just effortlessly Like And they did a lot of stair work, a lot of like was it was ye. He seemed to be sort of a pied piper of wheels during that scene where anyone he attracts wheels to him? People on wheels, you know, like any sort of like there were kids sort of following as like his happiness Cars suddenly came by him. Part of the thing like that you like pizza rollers. One of the things that you like about like Rocky and Creed, like Lizard rollers those painting brushes that are circular for whatever reason helps him get pain quicker. He like a Rocky and Creed They run every day. and people are and then you would imagine like, oh after like three or four months of running every day, the town kind is like, oh wow, they fucking running, I'm gonna run every day. and then the group gets bigger and bigger and bigger. This is like the first day with really within the first hour he puts on the blades. everyveryone's immediately ad They' been waiting for years for someone with roller bllades to show up. Even though it's a town where the roller blading scene is quite active It is vibrant. Like so he's not doing anything that not everyone else is doing. and which brings me to my point that even the hockey team as a rollerblading leeague that they are great in. They're great in it And then he comes and he's just like a little bit better than them. But if that' not. No. He's over a couple things. I feel like they all do defend this movie, Paul. My favorite part though of that rollerblading hockey scene was when he is being chased by the preps Like conveniently there's like a bunch of plywood like over like a swampy area. So like cl, cl, clk and You know the location scout scouted it when it was warm and dry. They showed up to the day. It was muddy. Yeah they're like, how the fuck are we gonna film this scene? Go get me five boards just random plywood and it was like it's an above shot. so you're just looking down at just like weird plywood planks that like clearly provide the most convenient escape path But yet the other people they like, Ah, shit, he's on the playboard. I can't getem Who is the bad guy I think it's in the end, it's the prep who was a little bit date rapey at some point. Oh yeah, he grabs the girl That's the weird thing I've never seen where he's like, come here, let's dance and woman dance. last dance of Mary Janepe of It's like you're in like a Denn's. Yeah. By the way, the movie got real creepy. that restaurant she she says, Hey, I know a really great restaurant Good food, lots of people. Lots of people. Like I've never heard that be a criteria for a good restaurant. Like the is it? Yeah, how many people are at this restaurant Theyon'll take me to one of those empty restaurants I want to socialize and potentially bump into my brother and ex boyfriend. And then they sit down and she looks around and goes, see what I tell you. They haven't eaten yet. She's merely talking about the number of people. But did you see? they did have a they did have a Cincinnati delicacy, strawberry jelly and peanut butter on a burger Is that a Cincinat? That is a Cincinnati treat That was originated at this restaurant Uh I think it's oh no, that's strawberry Please I beg of you, please stop Extordove Could you just delete it so that that doesn't happen? Well, I just popped up with Seth Green in the shower with the goo on the wall Oh man. u But I would argue Oh, it has I'm too sexy in it. The un recognizable song. There are no recognizable hits other than I. They really wanted it to pop they they but they have like a good like I wrote down a lyric of one of the songs when they're having their romanceic I'm gonna pick you up in my personal limousine Persal lousineine. He's a limo driver. He' sharing limos out there. I have to say in the nineties, like that was a dream. Ooh, he'll have his personal limousine. Persal Not the public one, not the shared limousine. And then the other line in that song was my love is goodie love. There is a lot of weird, it's not bad. It's not bad. A running joke in it is also that he calls people bra and they think he's calling them underwear. Oh yeah It's very similar to Bro. putut it together He's out of his time. He's out of his time. I would argue by the way, too, if we're talking about who the hero of the movie is, it might be Snake Because Snake Yeah is the best rollerblader. We know that. Snake has no problem in Devil's Batch. Which the way, why doesn't he list that in his hobbies Rollerblading is a pretty big one. Yeah. He never takes out that knife and I've never seen him tattoo anyone. And he seems very social No, he's yeah, they By the way, Devil's backbone is not like Like you think oh, that's the back of a mountain. It's all over Cincinnati. The street. The entirety of the city limits H devil's backbone And they about the race. The only rules are there are no rules. and I was So then how do you know who's won? But Well, she follows that up immediately by saying first three o'clock cross the finish line. win then but here's a rule Yes, Aguably. Yes. a rule. A very important one. They also felt that it was just so confusing as to like how they know exactly where to go. Yeah, but it's Devil's backbone. But Mitchel Goosey never heard about it two mines. They've never brought up Devil's backackbone before. I've never heard it throughout the rest of the movie. There's no rollerblading races ever established. They rollerblade right past a stadium A stadium. That's part of Devil's backackbone. Oh, Devil's backbone is from the top of a mountain to a port. Like it really it ends at a port by the fucking what. And I also say we're gonna settle this thing once and for all. What thing that they always beat them at hockey. We're gonna settle who's better at hockey by having a rollerblade race I want to goo, Yeah, go ahead. I would argue another rule of the race is once you fall down, you're kind of out because a lot of people are just like, boom and they'd be like O. Why? Js get back up? like you know, like they just seem like they take themselves out way too easily. Who? Okay? just going to sound like Who wins the race? Because I was watching and I thought I was engaged. Yeah. but then the race was over and I maybe I'm sure I drifted. D did the main good way? Well, Snake came in first Snake wins. It's a shot One of It's two teams. Yes. first team to have three people You know how they have you know how they have like team races, teeam races that aren't like relay races? Sure. You're not handanging off a baton. everyveryone just running But certain people are on one te Yes This is it's a fifteen minute race Yeah that none of the actors are there for. No. no. And at one point Jack Black kind of pretends he's on skates and they're shooting him from waist up and he kind of goes like this. And then it cuts to the rear view and he's like six foot two and one hundred seventy five pounds This is just so you can refresh your memory for the great action, this is the highlight reel of the race They're in a building. Yeah, for some reason. Parking a parking garage and a high level of a parking garage. Yeah, how is the high level of a parking garage? Part of Devil's backack out there. And then he only gets airborne by jumping off a building, mind you. Like like it would have been cooler if he didn't jump. Yeah like jump off a hal pipe or something. Oh, you're airborne. And he killed one of them right there He murders again And I'd argue that no one even saw him go airborne. I know I'm obsessed with the airborneness of it. There are no eyewitnesses to him being airborne. No, no one was like, Oh, shit, did you see him go airborne? That part of the movie is sort of like him telling the story afterwards. likeike, yeah, I jumped off a parking ro garage, like three stories though. I was sure you did No one sees, Which makes me believe that the makers or the people who advertiseed the movie had no idea what it was about because here are some of the taglines and it's the most taglines ever for a movie because it's not like like the movie Most sports ever for a movie. Here it goes The world's only rock and rollerblade movies I would I would I have a lot of problems with No No one plays music. The the biggest song in it is I'm T seexy, which not rock and roll. Not rock and roll. Here's the other one. Mitchell just became the most popular guy on Earth.ot Oce he took to the sky He doesn't take to the sky He does not become popular jumps over that car. It would been Mitchell became the most popular guy on Earth after he gave a wedgie to somebody in a hockey game. Yes. Can I talk That sounds like what is the tagline against it? Mitchell became the most popular guy on Earthot dot dot once he took to the sounds like it' it's a movie where the kid becomes an astronaut That is truly what I and a nerdy kid. a nerdy kid, a nerdy kid. goes to space camp. Yeah. He's a nerd even amongst those nerds. But then he's the one who takes the rocket up, he becomes popular. Right The promise you and me. Yeah. What do you say? I'm the super nerdy kid. And I'm the bully. You're the preppy kid And the premise of this movie is that the coolest kid in California moves to Ohio and it becomes the coolest kid in Ohio Get ready there's Four more vog lines To air isn int human It's necessary. Whoa Two air is inhuman? No no. Oh, okay. And air AI air AI Two air isn't human it's necessary It's necessary that he jumps over that car. But But like you said, he doesn't all he doesn't err becausecause it wasn't necessary. Yeah U Okay, here's another one. Tough stuff. There are two kinds of people Those who get airborne dot dot dot and those who don't He is part of the former. I also have to say if they had called this movie something different, they should have called this movie something different. It could have just been called land and Sa Because there is a surfent turf.. Surfent turf like Surfent turf like There's no air. because I feel like they got really like they put themselves in a corner with the airborne of it. And so there's only one moment where he gets airborne and they're really hanging the home by the way it feels like like the writer almost forgot. Oh shit, I called this movie airborne. He jumps off a building Oh good, I got it in on the last page. 'causeuse he surfs water. He rollerblades ground. The one thing he doesn't take to is the air.. That's the only like element. What about fire? Here we go. Well that's the logo. That's true Here is another one that's kind of great Heroes aren't made They air There airborne So, meaning born of air. That one isn't, yeah, that. And then the final one is give us the first half and we'll try and guess it This one is okay Mitchell's life was a California dream dot dot dot Cinnati Nightmare? Yeah. Now it's a Cincinnati nightmare. I assume it's gonna be something about being airborne. Oh right. How it Let's find it.. What is itit Mitchell's life was a California dream dot dot dot that melted into thin air Like that, very good Super song. Thank I Any other guesses? I'll tell you, you'll be disappointed Mitchell's life was a California dream, dot dot dot Until he woke up in Cincinnati He didn't just wake up in Cincinnati. He got on a plane. P. He was sent there. presumably he did wake up in Cincinnati. Yes, but eventually like it wasn't like he's in California dreaming and then he goes to see when he wakes up, he's inincinnati. Well, we didn't see the plane sequence. So maybe he was sleeping on the plane. He gets off a plane might have been sleeping on the plane By the way, just something to note the That's not I felt like that that was the most accurate of all of that. That was the only time he was airborne was when he was on the plane H surfboard was airborne, He was airborne. Yeah, the stick is airborne. He's airborne. We're gonna We're gonna to come to the audience here in a second. I just want to say one other thing. So this movie has a story by credit. So someone ch this ide By the way, this movie was originally not called Airborne. No. You know. this whoever on st the original script. And then it was written and then this guy also gets credit for story that's his only credit. That's Mr. Cay. But the guy who just came up with the story Now is Mel Gibson's main producer I have so many questions Let's goid he produce Hacksar Rich? I don't know about that. I should check that out. Did he produce Braveheart? Paul where are you going? I'm gonna. Pul. Paul have We need info. Paul. All right. Let's call to the audience here. Oh. All right, Sir, I'm gonna go to you right now. Sir, come over here. Obviously, we've talked about Surf and Turf as being the perfect title. Is there another title that you can come up with for this film Or is there a better character name for Mitchell Goosen I know I'm putting you on the spot that snowboarding doesn't exist. All right, Cincinnati snowboard I'll say dot dot dot doesn't exist. That longer titleard. Yeah. Longer title than we would normally have. but Why doesn't he do snowboarding? He's a snowboard. Yes. The only time you see snow is on the tarmac. And it disappears rather quickly. Yeah. Okay, talkk to me about your question. What's your question? So he gets the roller bllades laid, right? And his mom or his parents send it to him. So his parents found his roller bllades, took it to Australia, and then mailed it to him Okay, I think I think I know what happened here.id for this dumb kid forgot his rollerblades.s He paid a neighbor to break into his house rummaged through his stuff Sent and then the neighbor accidentally sent the blades to Australia whereere a kangaroo put them on. Which this all of that would make a better movie than this. I have a theory The parents were never going to us., what are you doing over there?. Are you on roller bllades I just bladeed through this ho back. The parents were never going down. the parents. didid anyone notice in that first parent scene how they were sitting uncomfortably close Like they were about to fuck. They just fucked he had two fingers in her. I don't know exactly what Exactly. Those parents were creepy Okay, youre right you're title or better character name in your question? My name for the movie, Life is a wave loveove it Life is a wave What do you mean Like he takes away from California all the way like wherever he goes, you know? Like Sometimes it breaks for you, sometimes it breaks against you. Sometimes you get a sweet rides, sometimes you get fucking laate on your ass. Lice the wave, bro. Yeah. But you gotta ride it Because if you don't ride it, I guess you won't do it, bro. Life is a wave. All right. And my question is, There is a serious lack of like adult responsibility in this movie. There are very, very few adults taking responsibility for any of these kids actions. They were rollerblading through the streets for a long time. No cough stopp them. Where are the police? Yeah it like truck. It's not like Cincinnati has a ton of shit going on Wh they don't notice. This would be like evening news. Yeah. And and the only the only adult you kind of see in the movie is the teacher in the beginning. and and the te he wrote himself into it. Right. Right. And he lets the kids do whatever they want. They They're like fighting in front of the class. And he's just like, next person, keep going. We need to get through these speeches At one point, Edie McClerg almost calls the cops on the lead guy. Because he's sleeping. Yeah And she's afraid he's dead Oh yeah. by the way, I have to say, those are my two favorite characters in the entire movie, Edie McClerg from Ferris Bueller, and then her husband, who I feel like has been in everything. but when I looked at his IMDB, nothing felt familiar to me. They were hilarious and I also felt like they improvised everything. She has like a legitimately great line when they're like driving first they pick them up from the airport and she's pointing out stuff she goes There is the hole where the sausage factory used to be. I was like, this is gonna to be a good movie I also like that they talk about hockey. Thankk you very much for your question. They talk about hockey and then they go like, let's get let's you feeling frisky? And he's like, yeah I'll get out the twister And I don't know what it was that they were getting turned on or something Let me see it back here. All right. Yes, you back here, your name of your movie, your character name, whatever you want, and your question. I'd say Stylin. That's a good movie. Yeah, it's a good title. Stylin is way better. We've touched on it, but one of the most important plot points is that the boy is pants And that Jack Black says funny. and everyone has the biggest reaction to this pantsing ever. Well, I don't know if that was a question. So you just think that like so that moment, the reaction is larger than what it should have been Jack Black's reaction is insane. insane It's like he didn't know that men have butts Well, it's as it's as if as if this could He' got see his own but It's behind him. Of course he's never he's gone through his entire life never seeing a butt. Wait a second guys, I just realized something. This is what Mitchell Gussen brings to Cincinnati. pancing. He doesn't bring why not call this room p. So like it's so cold in Cincinnati. No one's ever shown a butt before Yeah, heroes are They're pants In LA, that's what you do. It's it's warm enough here to show off your ass and humiliate people. And so that's what he brings. And he was wearing that was an I feel uncomfortable watching scenes of young people 'Cause you're trying to move your boner out of the way? Yeah en wstle Wed, then things get better. And the big kid is shirtless in this movie. I lot. A lot Does anybody have a really great one that they feel like, oh, I gotta bring this one up here. All right. Your name sell with confidence and we'll see. All right, here we go. here we go. Okay, so the title will be not airborne. O sorry not airb. sorry. You guys cheated. shared your title before yeah notot air butud. So he's in the hockey game, he gets knocked out. He's unconscious for like half a day. No one calls the ambulance. And then the guy gets what's it called chocolate stain Blaine. He gets knocked over into the water and he disappears and no one seems to care either. So I'm just saying no seems to care about other people. That is true. No one calls an ambulance and they move him too. They move him to a second location, which is fairly dangerous as well. There is a disturbing lack of empathy in this movie. There are no parental figures when he wakes up Yeah, he has a concussion. He brain down. Jason's not here, so I have to say what Jason would say. The movie officially ends when he gets knocked out at the hockey rink and the rest of the thing is a Jacob's Ladder scenario It's all a dream. It's all fantasy. It's the only way it makes sense. He died in that first hockey game. How did you find this movie? I found this movie as many people do on Twitter and on Working through Seth S Green's entire catalog. Yes. C can't hardly wait you and I saw can't hardly wait in theater together. sureure did. I brought in half a chicken. U But happen to the other half. What are you tal? I got an entire chicken in a movie. It was This is one one of the movies that was very highly recommended over the years And I've been saving it for a while a special occasion. No my question's about the chicken. Topy to answer any and all. What What? It was in New York. I was hungry. It was in New York and there was like a Boston market next to the theater and I was like, I'm hungry. New York has the best Boston market. They really do. It's my Outside of Boston No, I would say better than the Boston Boston market. And so I was hungry and I needed more of a meal than a snack. and so were let's get half a chicken.. I did not eat a chicken in that. We add half a chicken. I a clear m. expected the theater and the space and can't hardly wait. All the hard people who worked on the crew, everybody. Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions Second opinion, second opinion, second opinion, second opinion, second opinion, second opinion, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, second opinions, a I'm amazing, give it up what's your name? sir, what's your name Tim, giveive it up for Tim What an honor We always say to the audience before the show, if you want to make something up in the moment, please do. and that person did. So that was great and great job to the audience for catching along. These are five star reviews calledull from Amazon. and boy, there are some good ones U, okay, here we go This is from Nurse Mommy RN Oh. And she in ouray, she' like, nerth Mommy right now nurse Mommy, right now. And she writes. This was taped at my grade school Oh, so long ago And I got to be an extra in it So it was a rental to reminis cart She didn't even buy it You rent You're in this movie. A rental to reminisce. I don't think you can be in the movie and have you know, an opinion that's fair. I think once you're in it, you're in it. Fucking five stars, she gave herself five stars. I feel like she came up with the phrase a rental to reminisce and then backed into writing the review Um Also R and N are both in reminis big do R and N. How did rental? I will say a lot of these reviews were written recently. That's the thing that's actually most interesting about these reviews. This one's written in twenty sixteen in June Uh, by man of wood Great movie, better than the crap they made today, fiveive stars They made that they made that day. Yeah What movie did they make that? M Better than the crap he made today. Like the actual piece of shit that came out of his ass No. N need to put the shit back in. And then, uh, this one is odd I'll read it and we can discuss why I think it's odd. This is by Pamela S. Ryan, written in twenty fourteen. Putting your middle initial in there. twenty fourteen hardart off the twenty year anniversary. The title is perfect. And the and the review is simply this Wonderful movie to take my adult son back in time stars. I think that's the mom of the actor Remember when you were in this? Adult son back in time. Hi, son. C you get a babysitter? Come on over to the house. I want to take you back in time because if he like say if he's even if he's twenty now, if that's an adult son, then he was ten. When this movie came out was if it was more than twenty years ago he would have not been born. Oh right, right? okay, yeah This She makes a guy like in his thirties or forties watch this movie. Tamlas Ryan is a monster I really do think that that's the kid's mom because she gets to see her now adult son . the beautiful child he once was. I think you know what? I think you may be right Buckle up people. this is it's a longie, but it's worth it by J Jordan Lawrence title Who compares this movie to Harry Potter No one. No one