Second Opinions and Wrap Up

Illumination presents Minions and Monsters. You want to make a monster movie? S C think I try to h! And what are you going to use for your monster? E This Wednesday. I know the perfect monster for your movie! Just try not to look too delicious.! Quick question. I want to eat one of these funny looking yellow guys, Is that okay? Minions and mononsters. Rated Fi. Frididental guidance suggested, someome material may not be suitable for children only in theaters Wednesday FX is The Bear, the Emmy Award winning series returns for its final season with no money, the threat of a sale and a torrential storm in their way the team bands together to achieve one last service. Can they earn that coveted Michelin star? I love this show. I cannot wait to see Ends, I don't want it to end, but we're gonna have a great ride getting there. FX' the Bear, the final season, all episodes now streaming on Hulu Let me tell you so people, when you have a bad hire at your job It wrecks everything, okay? It costs you time, it costs you money, it costs you momentum. And when you're a small business, you can't afford that. You need a good hire and you need it right away. But finding great talent isn't easy. So that's where LinkedIn's new hiring pro can screen candidates for you. So instead of sorting through applicants, you spend time talking to the right ones. Get started by posting your job for free at linkedIn d. com slash valuable. Terms and conditions apply. Oo. Dennis Rodman makes his acting debut. We saw double team, so you know what that means? How this made' in the mediocrity of some far Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question How did this get made? Hello people of Earth and welcome to How did this G Made? I am Paul Ser. Let me introduce my co host Jason Menzukas, how are you, Jason? Well Paul I have a low fever, a low fever. A little bit of a sweats going on, so I don't feel great. Well, I'm gonna tell you you're gonna really enjoy your coos today because she also has a low fever. Please welcome Je Diane Rayfel. Hi Pa. How are you How are you feeling? I'm good. Right before this, I took some robotesccent. I was in the car with you I saw it all happen. and are you upset? I'm sorry wait don't reveal our special d. know I gave him a big hug and I don't want him to think that I'm contagious. No. I's a fever. I'm gonna to take my temperature on the air. Aason is now put quick at picture I don't have a fever. picture that. I caught the fever, the double team. Oh should I say that caught the fever of how did this get made? The The temperature chart has gone off. If you're wondering who's talking Oh, what's see? ninety nine one. ninety one, Not temperature. That's not r. I mean, it it's barely a fever, but I feel you can go to I feel shitty I feel like really like m. Well, this you're right That's barely a fever. Barely a fever, Nothing to complain about. And to introduce our special guest, you've already heard. Please welcome Owen Burke. You know him from the ammazing Aarwolf podcast. Owen and TJ Read the News. Welcome. Owen. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. I'm a huge fan of the show and of movies in general. And are you excited about getting sick from these two people that you're sitting? I can't wait becausecause I'm getting on a plane tomorrow and whereere are you going? I'm going to San Francisco. With meith Paul Sheer Sketch Fist. Yeah. We call it Frisco And I just keep calling Frisco tntil someone pushes me down a flight of stairs. Well, normally I would be nervous when two of the people on this show have a low grade fever not feeling well, but I honestly believe this is one of the best movies that we have ever done. It is, I was bl This movie was mind boggling Everything about I couldn't figure out. What was going on? It was At first I thought it was like a video to learn a new language or something. It was like how to teach English to people from, you know, the easastern block or something. It's like that's true because it's also like in what world is Van Dam's name Jack Quinn Yeah what universe? Well, this is the same problem we had when he was in a street fighter Yes, right, which is he was very American. Are we to believe he is an American? Is nobody going speak up against this? And you know anything did they do with Schwarzenegger? Like he's the sheriff of a small town in Mexico. It's no But I guess I feel like with the names and stuff, once you Once you know your actors Van Dem, like why not just adjust it? It' Petro or something, you know? Yeah What is uin give Well because they say his name once, like right at the top and they're like, Jack Quinn's going in. and he's got to get this plutonium. and then in fourteen hours and then he gets to retire. Well Well this is my h coldold open in the beginning. Even remote. Well, here's my thought. they I think what they thought was the movie originally started out with Jean Claude Van Damn by the pool with his wife and then he gets caught up in this thing, but that's like thirty minutes uil the first action scene. So like, oh shit, we need to tack on a James Bond thing because literally the movie opens with like this is his last mission. And then then after that, it's like, hey Whyt you come back for your last mission? It's like there's two couldn't make heads or tails of that. he steals a cool truck with I guess plutonium in, is that the deal??' stealing from Star. I couldn't tell anything that was going on. I didn't know who was who. They're talking about names and I couldn't tell who was the names. And and I literally wrote. I was like, it's minute two and I'm already confounded. Because they also are doing it it seems like all Like all ADR theDR budget on this was insane. I actually like when I was watching, I'm like, you could watch the whole first you' just like this is all ADR Yeah. And then it's like anything that comes out of Robmin's mouth is all ADR. Like you could there's shots of him point blank where his lips aren't moving. it's like, we've got to get out of here and it's just like it's almost like he's Charlie MacArthur in Chester. It's like he's a ventriiloquist It's like, and sometimes I think John Clae von Dumb is doing the lines for. It's like Jeann while you're. Why not the Dennis' l He doesnn't show up. justust do them because they're like, perceptible. My favorite part, and I will say I did enjoy the movie quite a bit. Sure. Yeah. gosh. I loved it. Re Wonderful. But the best part of the cold open is in the end when he drives, he sort of, I guess gets away from what I don't really know. I don't know what the stake. I't know what was stealing that truck. Okay so he's stealing the truck with the platonium in. Okay, which which of course you smash through walls and through people when you Ponium. That was my biggest concern. likeike that truck is brutalized like at any point that could just off of a cliff He drives it down a qu. He finally is like out of danger' way. He just sort of drives into a or st as though no one's ever going to notice a giant truck of plutonum. I' never seen a truck so big. I mean, it was the most unusual machine. My only knowledge of plutonium comes from backack to the future and it seemed like you must carry those things in very specific ways in some sort of a case that It seemed very irresponsible what he was doing why there Can you even have that much plutonium?? Well, what I was wondering too was at the beginning when he steals the truck, the truck is has like a hitch on the back and there's more truck. Yes. And then that gets lost along the way and And I was like, isn't that where the plutonium?. He doesn't care. He just has to get out of there. It's like, yeah, there's plutonium I'm just gonna drive. And so then we just cut to three years later. Three years later, three years South of France. Well this is what I love. I loved this house in the south of France because it was on this like cliff peninsula, this beautiful castle with a po He climbs up the cliff and he's like, how did you find me? Maybe because you're in the most exposed house in Europe. The other thing that I thought was hilarious is it's supposed to be like this remote location where nobody can find him. And there is a train that is going on right behind the house. a tra A large train goes right by them. They live by the track. They live by the train. Here's the weird thing That must come back. Nope Because otherwise, why would they ever just shoot it with the train there? Like why Wh' aastic question. O O back Or why not wait to get the shot when the train isn't there? The line is perfect. The l That's it. I was like the train can't be there all the time. The train just happened to pass in that shot. You take do another takeo No work for that train. Nobody knows the train. I really think that this was all tied into like like some sort of like Perillo tours or some sort of European tour company. It was like, we've got we can go to Rome, we can go to all these locations. It's all set up. you have to write the movie around these locations. like there's so much Again, in this movie that is so kind of shoe horned in where you could have simplified this entire movie could be so simplified. He doesn't have to be retired. No doesn't That doesn't come into play really that much at all. All he needs to be is a secret agent with a pregnant wife. That's it. Y. startart the movie there and have this guy because there's no sense in the rest of the movie that he's struggling with being back in the game or No at all. He loves it.. The only' struggling with is dialogue. He's struggling Well he immediately accepts the mission the last last second his wife is pregnant. By the way. Ready to give birth. And well by the way I had a problem with that. There's a huge plot point You know, he's sort of racing to get back by her due date. thirty six hours. Yes, that wasact. I's gonna give birth. But how does he know? I mean, wait lookook, it's very rare that you actually give birth and. the movie takes place in thirty six Yes No, but the colony doesn't have But that No, no like no, that's what he said he'll be back in thirty hour hs I'm sorry I got it got it got it.' sorry back in twenty six hours. No, but I was just going to say it it's a pretty flawed like plot device that they're That's the timeline we're working on when most women do not give birth on their due dates Yeah, nally weddings I've missed because of my baby's birth. I've missed every wedding. because it's like, o, she's gonna to give birth that date. it's two weeks later and I miss cliff fun on wedding. It's I don't even think's like she's gonna to get a real life work. Yeah I miss a lot of open bars. you know and after parties. I don't think she was giving birth in thirty six hours. I think he was saying to her, I'll be back Not like Schwarenegger.ically Although Denis Rodman does do an I'll be backack that is like Schwarzegger.es later onie. Later on in the movie. No they talk about he talks about what day is it and he writes the birth date and. But I mean if then if she's giving birth in thirty six hours, this movie spans quite a long period of time. she doesn't give birth until like the third act Wh is no I think she because she also doesn't look, she only looks a little pregnant. Yeah. I don't think she's promising her thirty six. I think he's saying that's all it's going to take to clean this mess up. Yeah. And then I'll be back. donon't worry. When he's in the colony and he writes that butterfly on the calendar, but what is that date? Remember, there's multiple pages of months he's tacked up. L that's nine months. You know what I mean It I don't know due date that he's writing in advance that he's got to get out by then. But eventually she does give birth on her due date. Yes, Yes But that's months later. it's the thirty six hours. had sch. She had a scheduled. they were gonna end. I'm just saying the mistake seem to be that she that this birth is going to happen right on that day I think there's a little bit of an issue All right, so you're just saying that you don't like that the whole movie is driving for this one day That's really kind of arbitrary I think the movie has a little bit bigger problem. I think the biggest no, no I think what's driving him isn't to get out of the colony for the baby's birth. It's because Mickey Roke sends him the message, I have your butterfly. Right. Yeah Well know what you know what? because she is She's an artist and she makes big steel sculptures and all of this. Wonderful art. And you know, it's like he loved this giraffe or a camel, whatever it was. And's swan. A swan. And he really loved it. Your swan is beautiful. You are beautiful. He loved it. He loved it. And then since he's been gone missing because he gets goes ming the middle of the moie, she's like Yeah I sell that You know, she doesn't have any connection to it. Like No there's no nostalgia for her. She's like, Yeahah, I'll to you. whatever. I'll me in Rome. I'll sell the thing my missing husband loved. Well, here's the thing. even like before we even get to the fact that he messes up this mission because so he goes to like Antwerp to Yeahah to, you know, kind love how I there like go crazy to show you how weird Antwerk is. There's this scuba diving Go girl. He's watching a scuba diver goo dancer and then he's reflecting on his wife Yeah, whichich I thought was really odd. It's like he's going to a strip club just looking at his strip orer going like, ah I do that all the time. I go to strip clubs on my anniversary. That's so weird. My when the guy comes to tell him, Hey, you gott to come back, you got to do one more mission. You gott to get Starvos. You're the only guy that knows him. And he's like, okay, I'll do it. And then that guy goes back, the company man, whenever he goes back and he gets in his car Stavros is in the car waiting for him and says I didn't understand. He says I left a little something for you in the back as he exits the car and it's a bomb. And the guy starts to freak out and then locks himself in the car locks himself in the car. He locks himself in the car It's a panic. it's a panic in the Stavros have counted on that the guy could have if the guy was in a dummy, he could have just easily gotten awayade a Kutz. he knew it and they show his elbow accidentally pushing down the lock of the car. I sorry No, I was if I'm I may be mistaken, but I thought the bomb said he had sixty seconds to get out of there. Yeah. That's a lot of time. Yeah. And you know what happens? It goes off in like thirteen seconds. Yeah. It's like fifty nine, fifty eight one B. Question, why did Stavros set that all up. likeike I didn't understand wanted what he was setting up. He wanted to get Van Dam back in the game Yeah. I use this guy to get him and then he blows up the guy because the guy doesn't have power locks. And so he knew that this This guy drove like a Honda civific value. Oh wait a minute. I have a question about that then. So did Stav Ros hire that guy to get to motivate No have No no. Stav Ros is orchestrating this whole thing. Stav Ros is like, I need to show my face to get Van Dam back in the game because I need to get my revenge on Vand Dam for stealing my giant Vad of plutonium And so he just knows this is going on. So I think I think that that killing the government agent is sort of like what Stavos does. It's neither the guy wasn't working for Stavos. No because he was like, I hate he was upset. Yeah. Now, so the plan to kill Stavos is that Stavos is going to show up at an amusement park on the rainiest night of the year Clearly, by the way itn't stopped anyone else from showing No. a p. It is a pack. By the way, this movie, if there's ever been a movie where there's animal cruelty, I know we've seen it in the past in different films. This one definitely takes the cake. We'll get to a lion later or a tiger. By the way, how about like the way the movie deals with both animals and babies? Yeah babies are a lot of babies of babies A lot of babies and women too A lot of women get killed. and you know what? here's the thing, like There's this big shoot they go they meet up at this amusement park to kill Stavos. He won't take the shot because Stavos' son is there. But then a shootout happens in this then The son gets killed and then everybody gets killed. Th every gets But people are still riding rides. L people are like just trapping in standing in line for rides likeike Oh look at that gunsh. Whver wherever they are, mayhem explodes. Like when they're in Rome in the big square where there's a wedding going on, wedding patrons are just being mowed down by machine gun fire. And there's a lot of shots of women. this is at the amusement park and at the wedding Women are being killed from behind. Like a lot of women die from gunshot wounds to the back Well they're running away. They're running away and they get shot in the back by like just cross by. That's just not something you see every day. Yeah J just l down. That's when I was like just ling down. Why you still whyy are you still standing in line for the Tilta world? My favorite thing before they get to the amusement park is when we have the Dennis Rodman introduction. Oh Yes. Can I let's just play it and we could talk about this is This is going to be a Rodman banter or some classic Rodman banter. Who are you You I hope you don't judge a person by the way they looks All right Who does your hair? Sick for the Roy the last guy made fun of my hair. He's still trying to put his hair out of his ass I don't want to know about your sex life Well, this has been fun.. How in the hell are you Jack Quin. The editor's almost likeing. It's almost like the director was like, okay, between sentences and between exchanges, I want you to take a full beat. Yeah. So just we really want to lengthen this out. We really want to they're punctuated by silence.. I don't want to give anyone some real how their relationship grows but what I notice is that their relationship starts with indifference towards each other and then as the movie gets like farther along They're still indifferent. They're just standing closer to other. They're still have the same indifference. they never connect at all. What have to say, why does he ask about his sexuality? Well, I feel like in this era, it was sort of like he's so because we're introduced to Dennis Rodman getting like a belly button piercing. and his hair is all crazy and he's covered in tatoos and hes That's just hophobic remark. Yeah, I think that was like a big like Rodman at the time like his style on the court and everything was very questionable. was very like he was in the Madonna Sx book.. There was a lot of like There wass a lot of stuff going on. In a very, you know, in a very stuffy American agent like Jack Paul Quinn not all American guy is not going to stand for someone like Yazz. That is Dennis Robins character's name, Yaz And yes. By the way, this Rodmund did a fine job What now I thought you we look, Denis Rodman is a basketball player. Yes I think Yes, for what he had to do in this film I thought he did a fine job I thought he got I thought he had a fine job There's that scene whens that Jack Paul Quin is dangerous. and he's like, I don't know. And then he like touches a wall with his hand. and then it's just all dialogue from the back, like from the back of his head like I know you're dangerous. And then it cuts him But what the hell? I like Danger. And it's like he just turns as J Well see that byy the way I have a bigger issue with the writing because it I didn't understand why all of a sudden he was joining forces with Jack. Made no sense. no s There was no incentive byy the way because it was a family because his son was in danger. But Jack But first of all, let's even get to the reason why they even meet is suspect. Jack Paul Quinn works for the government. He's doing a government hit. Why does he have to go to some weird arms dealer to get weapons This is a government hory No Be he's working, he says he's working for the good guys now. So I assume he was like he was Van Dam's contact in Antwerp. He's like one of the one of he's working with the the CIA or the whoever it is. I mean, but he also looks like he's probably selling weapons because he like has a room that's like like like Victoriouss secret or something's like It's like or a Betty paage shop. It's like black and white pictures of like women in lingerie that you press, the doors open, and there's just tons of weapons in inside. Weapons that they have no problem setting off in the very small room. They're just shooting stuff, throwing grenades, like crazy. I gota just generally throughout the movie No police, ever come. There's buildings exploding. There's never a fire truck, never an ambulance, never police. No one No policeman's ever like, What's that going on around the corner? Isas an explosion? It's just like, they get to do whatever they when they're in the hospital up. There's the hospital over there a lot of hospitals in this movie. A lot of hospitals and there's no hospital staff. There's none ever. It's all go home at all. They're just babies crying alone. There's no nurves what build. And they also turn off the lights, it seems like in these hospitalsly. All right, well we'll keep the babies in the nurves. We just shut off the lights. They'll be back in the Don't hook them up to any monitors. Just let them roam around free in their That baby b Today's podcast is brought to you by our friends over at Squarespace. You know I love Squarespace because with Squarespace, everything that you need to succeed online is in one spot. Fr claiming your domain to building a beautiful website, promoting your work, and taking payments. 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Because the price is right, okay So if your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. go to zeny d. com slash podcast and use code podcast fifteen for fifteen percent off your first order. The styles sell out, so don't sit on it. That's ZE NNI dot com slash podcast promo code podcast fifteen But again, I want to go I want to go back. I want to go back to Dennis Robin like so again We're led to believe that John Claude Van Dam is an expert. and you know, the James Bond and he just casually pulls a grenade pin. He's like, Oh, what's this He's worked with grenades, we would assume like, well this is some sort of like James Bondi kind of doesn't look like a grenade grenade. ring Okay. But still like they they never show what it is exactly. like you never get a clear shot of What did he just do? L it's almost like so much was done off camera. It's like just just pretend that you did. Don't we want to get an insert shot of the thing that he's pulling? No No, no, it's just a big pen. We don't We didn't invent a thing. We didn't make a thing. To me, It has arrived unset. We're gonna to be eat the pizzas now I feel like it is honestly like everyone did one take and they were all drunk and hung over from the night before party because when you look at Van Dan, like he has ags like he looks better now than he did in this movie. I feel like this is at the height of just like I'm drinking, I'm partying, I'm doing co. This whole thing feels like a tax shelter right off like that producers were renting out their own locations that they owned and just getting a tax rebate and it just felt like, yeah, you know what, I'll do this, you know But you know, it doesn't nothing matters. It's not like they're making it's not like they went out to make a movie. They went to like save money on taxes, international taxes by making a movie. I want talk about like when they're also planning the mission to assassinate Mickey Rke. have we said that Mickey Rke is the bad guy? Mickey Rke is Stavros. He doesn't put on any kind of foreign accent. It's a weird Stavros. R damn is Jack Quinn. This should have switched the which is the craziest with a full Eastern European accent. Here's the question. was he named Jack Quinn so that American audiences say can relate to him? th know he's European or is it for European audiences to celebrate an American hero played by a European No, I think think'Qin in the script and and I think they probably wanted Sylvester Stallone or they wanted somebody Bruce Willis and they didn't get him and they got JCVD and they were like, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah. Don't change it.ike guys they're hanging out the sides for the day of the script the day of the actor' like, Oh, we didn't it doesn't matter But they're setting up this assassination at one point in the movie. and they have like you remember him back to the future at the end when like Doc Brown makes like that incredibly detailed map and he's like, okay, you'll go down Main Street and hit the thing. They also have a map exactly like that, like a three dimensional map of an amusement park like to just be like a sniper hit Yeah, like There's no need for having three models. have scale models of all the rides. Like back to the future style. They have a ferris wheel like the feris wheel is not coming into play. Like why do they need? I have to say I kind of wish that Jack Quinn had shot Stavos's son Because we didn't see who shot him. No So for us like, Oh, well the whole thing is predicated on like revenge now. Well, what's weird two is that J shoot him. Yeah. Jack Quin could have just shot Stavros. Yes and game over, we're done. A quick shot but he hesitates and because he hesitates And like Hundreds and hundreds of people die apparently. No one ever gets in trouble. There's no sense of Like, oh, that's fine. you know, it's like, it's such a botched crime. But you're going to go to this. Now you're going on vacation for the rest of your life. You just botched that. hundredundreds of people died Have fun. on your right that gunfire, I would say is going off. That whole sequence is like ten minutes long. of every starts in an amusement park and goes into hospital. Yeah. Well, because they're all hopped up on cotton candy and funnel. But I want to talk about also the reveal of the child. They're, okay, he's making contact. Stob Russ is making contact. Who's that woman? Who's that woman? And the child is underneath Her rain poncho like as if I don't know if that a child is like five. And but again he's revealed by her lifting essentially lifting up her skirt Yeah and a child walks out. Why if he's gonna see Yeah, why wouldn't the child just be there the whole time? I mean, isn' it the whole What is the value of her hiding a child in an amusement park? Because of the rain Get him his own punch there everybody's riding rides. Ebody you know was line with the rain. No one stopp. And by the way, they wrote do you think they wrote the rain into it I think they only had that amusement park that night and it happened to be rain. And they just got close up on this tiger. A wet tiger looks like the saddest sickest. Oh yeah. They have a long shot of this tiger pacing, but now If the meeting was for Stavos to meet up with his family, wasn't he prepared? Like, o I might see his like wife and kid, I'm gonna get nervous. That was he's not meeting like a contact at the amusement park, you know? Yeah like he it makes no sense And then they he doesn't kill them. And then Starros is the one who starts shooting. He's the one that who starts shooting everybody. wait wait, but but Here's this is the part of the movie that I really was like, holy shit. This just passed into a new level of crazy, which was Stavros is talking to his son and the mother And he looks over at the tiger And the tiger looks up to where Vandes Yeah, the tiger gives it away l. The tiger tips him off. The tiger is a wild animal in a cage that's like, Hey bro, look up there. Have you ever Madagascar. These tigers are It was the I was like, wait, does the tiger work Star Rse. This is rudicrous. And of course, Star Rse pulls out a gun and starts and instantly in one shot shoots the sniper girl. Yes.. the one who said she could shoot the dick off. And she get shot I love these gun of shots where they shoot through the sniper lens. Yeah it goes like through her eye. Like it it's like the shot is so. Oh that we skipped over that. That was a great scene where they're planning in the scene with the map, the map of the amusement park The two things, the two lines we just said one that I loved, which was I can shoot sh. I can shoot the Dkoff a hummingbird. It was delivered so beautifully. So great. But then the other one was the entrance is like one of the other guys brings Van Dam in and he's like, gentlemen, this is Delta one. Forget you ever saw him. like I was like, well, he's still right there. We're all gonna to spend the rest of the day talking to him. Like, what did he mean forget you ever saw him? It was I couldn't thking about those actors because as soon I saw them, I'm like, o, they're all gonna die or we're never going to see them again. I' like They're probably all staying in a hostel somewhere. They're not getting they're just local hire standanding there. They've been there all day. Now this if you would think so they they go in the amusement park, then they get into a fight scene in a hospital where they're just throwing baby in a nursery Nursery baby carages. fight in a nursery Where they like They're tossing babies in and out at each other. Yeah. and like, you know, essentially Jack Paul Quinn is not going let a baby you know, get in the middle of it. I love that the baby there's a huge that another grenade that goes off in that elevator and then he pushes the baby out of the way and the baby is unharmed, even though there's flames going all around him like knocked him out, but then the baby's like So this whole thing ends with Stavros getting away. The explosion from the grenade has knocked Jack Quinn out. And then He wakes up This is where the this is where I jumped off the couch and went, what? What are we watching? continontue He wakes up in the colony Which for those of you who've seen the nineteen sixties television show, The Prisoner. Yes, felt an awful lot like the prisoner. Oh, it was such a direct drip off of the prisoner And at this point, you're just like, what is made no sense? I was like, what is this groovy place for Battle ag? So they live So basicallyird about it is like it made no sense, but it was also my favorite part of the movie. It was likeak the whole movie was the. It was like an Oakwood apartments for like ex spies. It was It was all spies who have presumably been killed in battle. like R. The best of the best. Like from KGB CI Yes, exactly. Fr everywhere.ere But now they all work for the colony, which is a top secret spy organization that monitors the world for global terrorism and then they are the last line of defense B everything and absolute chaos. Yeah, right? But they but they just analyze because they're never on the field. They can't No they can't leave the island. They put on their virtual reality glasses and a very complicated system where they have to keep their hand down. L they're in this like doctor Strange Love warroom where they're watching, you know, they're getting feeds from everybody But they have to keep their hand in one place all time, which made no sense to me. I just felt like that's a place. I don't trust those guys to stop terrorism. It looks like everyone's ats like happy hour all the time on a cruise ship. It's like Well, it's like, yeah, it's like a Mediterranean island is what it looks like. Its like it was like that's when they shot Mama M me or. exactly look like they their pool look like that It's basically Santorini. and they go like this and they say like they get him like, you know, he wakes up. He's in this room. It's like, hey, hit this button if you want to live and he hits the button. And then he's then he's like brought into this doror Strange Love room He hasn't even gotten up to speed on what is even happening No no, he's covered in bandages. And they're like, Jack, figure this out or we're going to kill you. He's like, wait, wait a second. like just like give him a little bit of time to catch up here. I loved when he's got the there's a great like there's an introduction to all the ex spies that are there. And he's like, oh my God, you're this guy. were you died in this thing. And o my God, you're this guy. And he goes to one guy. Oh my go, you died in Lebanon And he goes Beirut actually And I'm like, Beirut's in Lebanon. Yeah. That is Here's my question Beirut is a city in Lebanon. Why? Isn't it? You died in Have I lost my mind? I, no, you you are yeah. But my question is why why does the colony take these guys at certain points. like why did that they take Jack Quin because he failedail because he failed his mission. Well, that was a punish I didn't understand his punishment for letting Stavros go is going because they show that little video before they say if you want to live, push the button. They show them the video that says you could have killed Stavros. You didn't. And so your mission was a failure. It's your fault. So now if you want to live You're gonna have to work it off basically. I would have liked to seen the guy making that video too just in the after Effects. So everybody who's in there has failed at some sort of mission in the. Yeah, they've all been killed or they've all or quote unquote killed. They've all failed. I think they all failed. They all failed or they've yeah re there's like one guy. I don't justify who put this together though. Oh Yeah's ye. who's in charge? There's probably the Illuminati, right? But you know there's that one guy I forget, like he hates him and you're sort of like, oh, of course but like why? They never say it's just like Oh no because they used to be bad guys. No because Jack Quinn says I thought I killed him blah, blah blah. So that guy hates him because Jack Quinn came very close to killing him. Now like now they all are supposed to get along. Now everybody's bros Now, it seems to me like he has been By the way, there are no ladady spies. No. No No lady spies. it's like a real sausage fest on this island. For the most part, no spies under. L They're all old. They're all old, old, like and they're all like looks like crusty they say. And it looks like, you know, like like a place where the character from Sexy Beast would be like hanging out like all these Oh Ben Kingsy Ray Winston. Yeah Yeah. It's just like it's a Tommy Bahama commercial, they're all just like cheerl. They're all leisure wear. like magic outs And they got loafers on. they're like, Oh, let's go solve some crime. There's one guy while they're in the doctor Strange Love room, like hooked up to all the computers, like looking at the footage of a downed plane or something. And there's one guy who's wearing like a green checked golf jacket. I was like, what the fuck is this? Does everybody get to choose their own garbage clothes? Come on. They get to wear whatever they want. They're getting their leisure time But now this is where I'm confusing the timeline because it seems like he's He has this is again, an ADR moment He has failed in the assassination attempt. It hass been more than thirty six hours. He wakes up on this island He solves the case. He seems to be on this island for a couple of days. and then you cut to that same rainy night where his wife is like outside by the pool. She runs in and answers the phone. It's like, Hey, we w want to buy your sculpture. And she's like, okay, but you could tell that movie' the same rainy night. I think what it is is What I think it was is the AyR the phone conversation. they were like, Your husband has been killed. 'cause she starts bursting out in tears Like she's crying. And I think they were like, oh, we got to like figure out how to get her to like write. Here's the big question. Was there a script? Was there a script, you think? or did they just like, Ohh, we have this location, what are we doing? ' that I think you're trying it m sense now you're like, Yeahah, that doesn't nothing things don't add up. I think he was on the colony for months. Yeah That's what I find too because he had to because he was shaving off his fingerprints. O oh, sorry, I can't That was back his face was so emotional when he was wait a minute. what? When he when he was peeling off his fingerprint. time with it When he was you the razor? Yeah, no. you really had a problem with that, Hud you? Yes. I couldn't look at it myself. I could not look at him. He takes an exxacto knife and cuts off his thumbprint. Yes. But he has no, if you look at his face, it's completely emotless. It's just like, bum,, bum. He's like,um,, bum. This doesn't hurt This doesn't this is not weird to me at all. I'm just like he like Perfectly it's like in good feellas when they're in prison making that like shaving with a razor blade, the garlic garade, it's so thin that it must And he does that to his thumb, like the thinnest layer of just his thumb prrint. It's perfect. I gott let's just talk about, can I just talk about the fancy hotel room workout? Oh Oh my gos. Yeah. I was like that was amazing. This is insane. it's just like a pil cigarette smoking whiskey didn't work. There's like a tub lift Yeah the lift like I was like, what is this guy? It was such a great sequence though. I loved all of.? I loved it. I love the training I love the training run. The self training montage. By the way, why did he even need to I mean I guess he needs tocauseuse he was injured. Okay, so I think because he was so injured that he needed to get himself back in fight in shit. They get him shirtlifts a lot in this mom. The thing was he knew he had to get out of there He was already sort of devising the plan to get out. Well that because difficult to get out of. He realized he needs to get off the island And by the way, it wasn't that difficult. All he did was jump off a cliff, swim to the thing and hold on. That was it. likeike they and shave off a fingerprint. Oh ye, you got that thing that h And then we gott to talk about. I mean I'm very excited if you bring it up and bring it by. He's swimming underwater because he jumps off this cliff and he's got to swim to this raft to get on this the plane, the cargo plane to get out And the guy who doesn't like them we talked about before. swims up behind him, how did he know he was a swing gar Where the Yeah Googleer gear, Where the lasers are happening and all that kind of stuff because there's lasers that prevent you from swimming. Well, but the lasers have been turned off. A bag. He puts a bag over his head, which would give him air It would give him air underwater. You don't strangle us underwater but Oh, this is great. G you find air. No. It's like he's already doesn't have air. So you're giving him more air. Well what I thought and realized later I was wrong was what the upper crusty British guy tells Van Damn when he gets there is if somebody tries to escape There The guardian is assigned to go and get them. everyverybody has a guardian. again, that would come into play. I mean, this we'll get to come of the play but I immediately thought, oh, his neemesis guy, the tall blonde Dolph Luner guy must be his guardian. and that's why he's showing up with the scuba gear and he's going to get him in fact not the case. Nope at all. That guy just happens to be in the ocean Suba gear. He would have to know that because there's these lasers. There's lasers there that prevent you from swimming and they turn it off for that clock when the plane comes so they can get the shipmment But so that guy had to go all right, I scuba dive for five minutes a day in between lasers When the lasers come, I go down My recreation was who was his guardian? The uer crust British guy. didn'tock from Riders. Now which was awesome. I want to also just bring up and we'll mention it later when it really comes into play, but definitely was a sponsor of this f. Oh you think? Be Coke plays a very pivotal role in the escape, but even a better pivotal role in the finale. Oh And it also plays a role in a fight sequence. Yes with the cans. Is the hero in this film? Oh yeah Coke in Europe, I mean well, I guess it's true. It's a lot in Europe, I guess, but John Claud Van Dem's character definitely drinks Coke, uses Coke A lot. And we're not talking about cocaine guys. shouldola.. This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, for me Summer is tricky. 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Now, let me tell you, Quintince and Summer go together. Have you checked out their cashmere waffle short sleeve polo sweaters, they are unbelievable and they are priced Pf And I've actually been able to put together a much more stylish summer wardrobe than what I normally wear at summer, which is a little bit more ragtaggy like I look like I'm still in high school. You know, so elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince dot com slash bonkers for free shipping on your order and three hundred sixty five day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's QuiNCE dot com slash bonkers for free shipping and three hundred sixty five day returns. quQince dot com d slash bonkers Now he's off the island. he escapes. They don't really show you how he gets Ohh yeah, gu gets holds the plane hostage. Yeah. Yeah. and then he gets the landover. That was the craziest. That escape like it just made no sense. They knew they had to add one more thing of jeopardy, but it just I think that at a certain point they're like, yeah, I don't care. You just put them in gear and have them die this way. Like there's no becausecause now I feel like we're at Maybe halfway through the movie. I don't know for you. Okay, well, I feel like its just once we get to the end of the colony that's sort of Yeah. Yeah. Why is this movie It's called double team Wait a second. Oh because you got two guys. there there's two in one there becausecause him and Rodman become like a team up and they' going to be called the team My problem. that happens. Oh they also fucked that girl together. Late in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. The movie is not a two hander. It's not with Rodman and Vin. If it wasn't Rodman, you probably wouldn't he wouldn't have been on the page. It really is the it's only the last thirty minutes of the movie that they that Rodman and Vand Dam are a team. The first hour of the movie is just a Rodman. I mean, is a rather a vandam nonsense film. Well hereere's a question. Do you think that they were like, this is going to be really exciting that Dennis Rodman is doing the pure? Yeah. And they were like super fired up. We're going to let him wear whatever he wants. He's a three p. everyone loves him. He's a winner And then they just saw what kind of actory he was and like, all right, cut him out of this, cut him out of this. and let's just make Oh maybe Clad Vandanick here because it's like You know, I think I think what it is is they were like, we want Dennis Robmin. let's shoehorn him into something. like there was no way that I think there was no way there was like a guy named Yaz. Yeah there was a script that really? Yes that there was just his journey Jack in's journey to get his son and whatever and then they shoehorned Rodman in. I think Rodman is so l. Be he has no motivation to join this Oh canot at all. you guys have the family motivation, but that comes after he says what the hell motivation? Yeah he like And there's previously there's the money motivation now. ''s like this is a picture of my the sonogram of my baby. But why does Rodman care about that? Because he's like a fucking he's we respected guy dude. Let me ask you guys this. are's like, why didn't you tell me that first? Yeah, I mean I just would love to talk about the fact that Dennis Rodman does speak in basketball terms and they speak to him in basketball terms. They p basketball as if he is a basketallall parach in a giant basketball. Whatp that. They jump outention. His invention is a basketball parachute. It's his invention that he didn't want to go like Van Dan pushed him down into it. It was like, I don't want to do my own invention it's so weird because he's not a basketball player He's a basketball player who's playing an arms dealer. So why would this guy love basketball reference? No It doesn'tory of his one liners are like basketball Z. Here, listen at this one Ooos, airball You need to practice, mate I hate practice, but I never miss twice, brother Didt get in trouble for skimpping? That was his whole thing. It's all like inside jokes about him Oh you know totally. The weird thing though about that parachute, the basketball parachute is that it It doesn't actually it looks like a basketball, but then when it doesn't bounce or anything. Yeah. It just kind thought it was like a It was to bounce. And I was excited about that. And then Janclaud Van Dem leaves him in the field. He's just like he pushes them down, but they don't work together. He's like, I'll see go back to Antwerp. As soon as they land, he says, go back to Antwerp Why push him out of a plane if you're not even going to take him with you? He's like, S you in Antwerp? And he's like, hey. And then this is what I tried. I rewound this scene a few times just because I didn't know what was going on. I was like, Well, who where is he? Where is he going? Whose house is this? I was like, is that Stab Ros's house? They never says. He just I was like, what what point is this? It's just he just goes to a house and he sees a baby. No, no, that's his house house That's his South of France train house. That was a train house. That was a train. He was going to see his wife. That was the train house? Yeah blew up thought his wife thought she had had the baby already. No he thought she would be there because he was trying to figure out what happened becauseostavros said he had the butterfly. When they're in the colony, there's a terrorism act and one of the pictures Vand Damn zooms in on and Stavros has left him a message spray painted on the wall that says, Q, I have your butterfly And but but Van MM doesn't say anything to anybody and that's what by the way is a giant like ike that's a very elaborate plan that he's going to grait Stop Ros think he's still alive. Stop Ross knows he's in the colony. That makes no sense. Is that real? He never says anything about that. And how does Yaz know about the colony? Because he's like Remember when meets up with Stab Rus and talks about his kids I he meets up with Yazz, he has like I don't even believe in the colony. It's like, well, how do you even know about the colony? Doesn't that make sense? Like why are you bringing it up? Like no one asked you. No one askks you about the colony. Y. Well, so he goes to the house So to see If his wife is guess that makes sense becauseuse I was like, what baby is this? That's what I thought the baby wasn't born, but I guess that makes sense. That was an elaborate plan. that crazy mananny He really is scary. He doesn't want to shoot that woman who is just straight up real shooting at him. She set up a bomb to kill him and then she shoots at him and then she stops shooting him for a while. M he like shoots the other guys and then it's like nothing's happening. and then he gets shot at again, like she would stop shooting. hereere's the deal. L when people are shooting at you like Even if it's a woman, you're allowed to shoot her She's a she's p James Bond has done it And not only that, but she looks like a zombie. Yeah She weirdly looked like she was in like some sort of like hypnotic state. And what's the deal Right, Wh? I mean she was She was in shock from the explos The explosion. Yeah.. But it wasn't just her like I know what you're saying, like she looked a little charred, but her eyes was like a little charred She was She was slightly singed. How How about the grenade that goes in a pool? and all of a sudden it's the biggest explosion you've ever seen out of that poolire out of a pool. There are no fewer than fifteen grenades thrown in this movie and depending on the location, they either make a very small explosion or the big or like a Hiroshimalevel explosion. Yeah that one in the hospital like took up a wholeway Yeah And it's just like, it's just it's areng or pop, you know? Yeah. Oh it's so bananas. Can we talk about when Jean Claude Van Dam goes undercover is like Jean Vad. When he goes like he dresses like Robert Smith. Oh that was. Yeah. then you know, because he's sitting with all those goth people and he's got this like this frizzy like carrotop ig and these round sunglasses like he's got a boombox on his shoulder. like I am just cool guy Jean Claude Van Gogh and with Dennis Rodman in a zot suit kind of like like I don't like he looks like he looks like when the fox in Warner Brrosers cartoons gets dressed up to go out like But when they steal a mini and Dennis Rodman's head sticks out the top Like it was like a mr. Bean cartoon or not cartoon Yeah mrter Bean thing. Can we? Yeah. What was that about That was that was just like they're just having a good time on set. I think like let's just play. There's something with that whole set upp in the park and Rome when like because it's like Every agent is going to be there the way they set that up is like, what is your plan? And Jean Claude van Dyn says, I have no idea But I'm gonna let Starros Do what he thinks that I'll do, and then I will be there when he does it But it's like the most vague, it's like a kid trying to get out of vague He says, arere you gonna send him an email message? Yes And then he does on that device, whatever that was and when it says on the top it says on the top of it, fax But no wa, here's the other thing too. againgain, Jehn Clude Vandon and we've seen him not take the shot when he has the shot. Yeah. We've seen him accidentally launch a grenade. he's touching too many things. And now we see him see his wife and the only thing he needs to do is not make a giant scene go my wife, my wife and run across this down square and blow the entire mission. And he does that Why? Why? Yeahah, because he he's just so emotional, I guess. His wife is giving birth. Who was the man on horseback shooting a machine gun? Made no s. Who in like in some sort of like period garb Who was that man? It was impossible to figure out Yeah, but it was impossible to figure out who anybody was and who they worked for. Everyone was just shooting at anyone. you're like, is that bad guy? Is that a b guy? was It was never clear to me who were good guys and who were bad guys. And good guys were girls who were shot in the back. You know, they were like poor people Yeah in the bridal party. Yeah. And we've never now so far, we're back in the movie We're not We're not even engaging in the idea that he's being hunted down by his guy who was trying to kill him from the colony. Like that is not really That's barely present. But that's I'm saying, like you would think that would be that only comes back at the very end. That's what I'm saying., you would think that would be a motivator throughout the second ch second actor or whatever directors the guy And you know, the guy doesn't follow him, but he doesn't do anything. No. He just sort of like follows him. he goes there he is until they until they spoiler alert blow up the Colosseum. Right. Then he's there to be like. Well, o, so even get out of here. That'says get out of here. This is my big problem. so I'm not sure when this happens, but he somehow gets to the hotel that his wife had been Yes staying at or you know under Stavers' watch and he finds A Label Pcription bottle No, it's not a bottle. It's a label that's stuck on the mirror. It's on a window. a mirror. It's a label that's stuck on a mirror that says pitocin. Right So I guess This is what I was trying to understand. Did they do that on purpose to draw him out to the hospital? I'm assuming. because nobody put it there. But they also had to figure out what hospital had given women potocin in the last like Oh But who did they go to figure that out? Oh the brothers, right? Cyber mononks. Cyber monks. Cyber monks in like when you're watching, when you buy it on iTunes and're watching it, all the little chapters are titled. Yeah. This chapter is titled Cyberbunks. Well, I wish it was type I wish it was Cyber Brothers because the entire time Denis Robins like My brothers are gonna to help us. My brothers, my brothers, my brothers, and then you realize they actually are brothers. Like Franccesis they are brothers. And they learn how to fist bump. That's the cutest thing. They learn how to fist bump. And then he says, we use the interternet and Dan Robin like rolls his eyes like, Isn't this crazy? they use the internet? And by the way, their internet setup is akin to like the Adam West Batman computer setup.. It is giant and it is just massive. How about just before we continue on with cyberbes When he finds the pitocin label, he then gets into a fight With a gentleman who has a switch bllade in his foot? Yeah. Yes. That's how he just holds a switch blade with. I couldn't figure that out for the life me. Like you've got a switch bllade, cool man. Use it in your hand. And he jumps does. He like jumps out of his shoes. Yes. And then his shoes go crazy and John Genem's like, what the hell? And then then he goes So he had it in his shoe. Yes. holding it in his shoe in his thing. That's very uncomfortable. But that's also a James Bond thing because James Bond used to fight a woman who had a dagger in her a shoe, and she would put this is in this shoe, I get. This was He was holding a switch blade between his toe, right Yeah. I mean I guess we're to understand that Better with a switch blade by foot. You know what? I don't know with True. I don't know that that's posit. who made that decision dead silced. Dad Sone had to go, you need to hold this I bet it was in between your feet. I bet it was the stunt man who was like, you know what I can actually do? putut this in between my feet. I could put this in my feet in the direction.'s like, Yeahah, fuck it, let's do it.. And then and then the other thing that was strange about it was there's a guy in the hallway who has an El Mariachi style suitcase gun. Yeah. Yes Then I was linked This This has already been done, fella. Like we already we've already seen El Marian. Well, no not at this point. Yeah. And many sh What's ninety seven? Yeah. I think. El Mariana sh shoots every and then the bellboy downownstairs looks up and then he goes I'm gonna to call the police. He he goes, you sure something like you sure you goes, he, yeah, I'm just gonna call the police. Yeah. It's just like so casual And no police. My question is so his wife is with has been given potocin to induce laboruce labor and is it due date. That's the big thing. Is Mickey Work going to take the baby and then immediately kill it? Is that what we areed to believe? I think or just take it as his own. I think he's going take about Mickey Work's motivation. A part of me thought He may take this baby because he wants a son Well, I think he's just using the baby as bait to draw I agree he's going to kill Van Dan. Like he wants, I think he ultimately wants to kill the baby and make Van Dam know the feels about feels. Even though Van Dam didn't He blames Van Dam for the death of Hide. He doesn't give a Van Dam what So there's a doctor I can't believe it took us this long. There's a doctor who's taking care of Van Dem's wife. Who for a lady doctor which A lady doctor. In the nineties is almost unheard of. who for some reason becomes Good guy Yeah, I couldn't I couldn't figure that out either. Fure out if she was like in on it or if she was like a real doctor because it's so vague I was just like, what is What is going on? Is she in good hands or Is she not in good hands? There's so many le ultimately she was in good hands with her. His plan, Stavos' plan is terrible. You know, like there's so much There's so many like completely circumstantial and coincidental things that have to happen in order for it to actually come to fruition. Like right after this, when he takes off with the baby, Van Dam catches up with his wife. The doctor turns nice and saves the wife's life, But then Van Dam chases him to the Cosseum. and in the Colosiseum,op Mickey Roke's setup is There's a man versus tiger fight. He's going to say to Van Damn, you have to fight this tiger. but There's a minefield So the floor of the Colosseum is a minefield and you're going to fight this tiger. Now If you star for us, can't you assume the tiger's gonna step on a mine? The tiger doesn't know to avoid the Tiger is the one that kind of let him me. Oh, I agree. I know the tiger. The tiger is very smart. Tiger I didn't think about it. The tiger would have no idea where a mine is. It doesn't matter. The tiger could very easily have been like, walk, walk walk, explode. okay, that's over. How Rotman mo Move the explosives without blowing them. Move the explosives. He just moved the little markers. But he also, here's the thing too, like at the end, spoiler alert that the whole one mine will explode the whole colosum. Yes. So Mickey Rke by being there would die anyway if the on was a really good point. The crazy thing is a really good point. I was waiting and I don't want to give away the anything please st We're here. We're there. But it really is like I was waiting for him to like Van Dan starts the movie starts off. he's so happy with his wife and his child And like or that he's expecting a child. Then the end it's really like goodbye, hey, Rodman, take care of the yes. takeake care of them. seea. And he never reconnects with his wife and kid. That's the last you see of them. That was his whole he would love to that he wantan to do more than anything else and he's like, all right, I'll see you later. And then it just ends with like Rodman with a burning Colosiseum. They're probably gonna to blame me for this. Yeah. Oh my God And he goes, they're probably gonna blame me for this one too L likeike what did they blame you for before? For all the con such reformers come also also Rodman says to The colony guy, well I guess it's my turn to disappear. and I thought that was Rob and being like take me to the colony. Yeah. and the guy's just like, and drives off. Yeah smokes screen and he throws down his g. What was that about? Okay, I want to understand this. So Uppercust British guy has a gun pointed at Vand Dam at the and he is the guardian and then R But he says I want a lock of your hair and your shirt Is that because because he wants to bring it back to the colony go I killed him. Okay, that's what he wants, right? Then why does Rodman throw the smoker in? Be he seems like he was going to let him go, right? Yeah. Yeah. But here's the problem with the the lack of hair and the shirt at the colony, they seem to have video feed on all Yeah ch of the world. And he already connected when he was with the cyber monks. He already connected with them and said, thanks for looking out. Yeah love Jimmy or whatever. And then they like smile at each other like, yeah, he's a good guy no one's planning on killing him. They're like helping him. Yeah, the colony appears to be helping him except for the Gardian. Well, maybe the Gardianard is kindind of helping him. What's the weird thing about the colony? You know, it seems like For some people, it's a retirement community where they never want to leave and would never try to escape. Right. And then for others, I think if you go to the colony before your retirement age, it's a really tough place But if you' you're ready to be retired. But yeah, if you were like over sixty, then like why not stay there? They eat well, they're probably getting you. that pool. They the pool, they got drinks. great. Permanent club Let let me talk about one thing before and we gotta wrap it up, but one thing that we gott to talk about when the Colosseum is exploding the baby Dennis Robman and Joh Claude Van Dam are all saved by a Coke machine. Y sear They hide behind a Coke machine. It's the original Yeah, you're gonna say it's the original nuking the fridge. Exactly. It's the same same move as Indiana Jones and the Chrystal Skull getting Yeah. It was I was just like, this is so great. And here's something else The baby's not crying