Production Facts and Trivia

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When it comes to designing your outdoor space, there's more to it than pure function. You need a space to unwind, make mem ories, and enjoy a meal. You need versatility, style, and craftsmanship. Bellegarde pavers are different. They're designed to elevate your life outdoors. They're designed forward, weather tested, and built to last. No matter your style, Belgaard can bring it to life. Just a paver. Think again. Learn more at belguard.com. That's B-E-L-G-A-R-D.com. Now there's not much to say about this next movie except for We saw Mortal Kombat, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How does this create some failure, not just need to hate it. How did this remain? Let's flow in the mediocrity of some bar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question. How did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made. I am Paul Shear, joined as always by Jason Manzukas. How are you, Jason? Oh boy, fine, I guess. Just watch this movie. Uh and June Diane Rayfield, how are you, June? I'm good. How are you, Paul? Very good. We have a very special guest. Today, uh please welcome Cameron Esposito. How are you, Cameron? Oh, I'm feeling great. I mean this one is like in my wheelhouse. So we're choosing this one for me. June, do you wanna reveal to the audience what you just said as we were putting the mics on? And I said, I feel like this let's try and recreate it. I said, Well, maybe maybe we could do this. We could actually just play because we did roll. Let's just roll what just I didn't play this I never played it either. Fuck. We're all but I did do the research to to try to. Didn't know there was a game. Okay, so there it was. Okay, so there it was. And what we just realized is that June went through this whole movie not realizing it was based on a video game. Well to be fair, I did write down at one point this sounds like a video game. So it sounds like the noises, the the sounds. Some of it actually is. When Reptile comes in, that's actually from the game. Okay. It does sound like the score of a video game, like even what you just played. No, but the thing is that they sound familiar. Mortal Kombat, those words together sounded like that. Yeah, they sounded like something. But you just remembered them from fighting to the death, right? No, I think that's right from my own experience of fighting to the death. I didn't know that's a familiar phrase or saying. I just didn't know. I I'm laughing because I didn't know where it was from. Well you didn't so in your mind, Mortal Kombat, you were you just thought, well this is a very large cast of characters. And it seems to do n it seems to be nothing but mono imano fight sequences. I have a lot I sat down and said, guys, I don't even know what to say about the Zoom. You stormed out of our living room three times going, this movie irritates me. And you walked out. I had a very bad reaction to it. I didn't know what it was. We get it. You guys have a living room. Now I will say we wanted to say um I know a lot of uh people out there will be upset like, well come on, well you don't know the game and the game and I played this game. Uh not so much that I would know all these details, but uh enough that I I understand it. Uh but screw you guys who are gonna be upset about this. It's a movie.' movie. If were judging the And here's the and here's the thing, if you have particular fondness for this movie because it it it it pushes a button of love for you if playing this game, I need you to understand that this movie is very bad This movie is if you love this game, you should actually kinda hate this movie. Because I see now I never played this game either, but I did know what I did live in the world. Okay. So I'm in I mean this is at like every roller skating rink growing up. They were words that sounded familiar. Then like that rampage game where you turn into a bigger ape, you know, if something happens . I mean to bring this back to June, one of her most famous quotes, you don't really under even understand Street Fighter and you didn't know that was a game. Now my relationship to video games growing up. Ooh, what do you know? What do you know about video games? My next door neighbor had uh Nintendo, and the games I played were the um game where you had to cross the street in a little the frog crossed the street. Wait, frogger? That's not an intended. You let her off the hook. Way too fast. Was it an Atari? It was an Atari. Okay, so I want to go back to what you described. A frog that was in a cart? Yeah. No, did you think that's true? No, I want to go back. Yeah. Did you think when you were playing that the frog was also in a cart just going uh perpendicular to traffic? I knew there were frogs and carts. I couldn't remember exactly how they were related to the game. I didn't know too. I didn't. I he I've heard of Sonic the Hedgehog. Oh, you have? I played Frogger . I've played Oregon Trail. I've played Okay, no, that's on the computer. I played Solitaire. Those are the two games that I have played and I'm Mario Brothers. I have played those games. When I went to an arcade or you know, some sort of event with roller skates or whatever, I would see the video games, I wouldn't even go to Near Zone. Really? Why? I'm not I wasn't interested. This is why you get so angry when you see like things like Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto, because you've gone from Oregon Trail to Grand Theft Auto V. That's a part of life like I'd never had any interesting I spent days, weeks worth of my life like getting quarters and playing video games in an arcade. When I grew up, you could go to Paladin, an arcade in my area, with your report card, and they would give you a dollar 's worth of tokens for every A you got. Wow. That's well that's kind of great. Yeah yeah yeah I just what do you want a you want a cookie for? Like when you were at the pizza place waiting. Yes. Ski bar. Okay, so you're into like old tiny fair. Like you you you played one of those game those video games where you put the coin in and you uh you spin the dial and you see a moving picture. Like that's a video game you like . I'm seventy-two years old. I don't get the with your new fangled games. These words sounded familiar to me, Mortal Kombat, but I didn't know what I didn't know where the source material was. That game was that it was super violent. It was like the first mega violent game. And they had that spine rip. There's a spine rip move in there. And it's a rip out a head and the spine would be dangling. I think actually that game is the reason that games have ratings. I think that's pretty much it. And this g this movie was originally to be an R rated movie so they could embrace the one thing that is defining about it, which is the supreme violence of the game. So the basic premise of the movie where mort als are fighting creatures who have magical powers. I would say that this is part of the movie that I'm a little bit unsure of. A of as a game player, I felt like there was a tournament, but it seemed like there were certain people who were not they the tournament didn't like the rankings. I couldn't follow a ranking system. But yet they were all there. Couldn't tell who like why were the why were the people who were brought arbitrarily good guys or bad guys? Right. And I'm assuming then that some of the good guys killed other good guys, I think, in the beginning rounds. Well, like to me, it's like I feel like this movie was missing that chart that they had in the Karate Kid where they kind of just moved up the name LaRusso, so you got the ranking. Or like a round robin or like a bracket sort of a tournament thing. The um uh Sang uh Sang Sum, uh the bad guy, he was like, Well Oh the guy from Iron Chef? Yeah. But did anybody else think that he was just like the host of Iron Chef? Like that guy they both were oh they both overact so much in the most hilarious way. I every time he would get up and make those big declarations is like at the beginning of Iron Chef where the guy tells everybody what the secret ingredient is. Not America. Not America because that's the guy's nephew, but the the original Iron Chef where the guy was like su had such dramatic flair, this guy was that guy. Hey well, this guy um this guy was amazing because also when he said something in the movie, like he would do this, he'd be like, Well now if you win this match, I can either challenge you or I can challenge someone else. Like, well, well, that's not a good effective tournament. Like what that doesn't mean anything. Everybody just gets to make shit up. I think the mortal part also really comes into play because there's a couple of times when the person does not die and then the saying sung just comes in and sucks their soul. Basically like he always is winning because Sang Sum is like he basically is if I'm mispronouncing it, I'm sorry, but like he just so he gets all the souls regardless. No matter who wins in these fights he also collecting souls what I couldn't understand was was he collecting souls in order that he in order to make himself unbeatable so that if it got down to it and he needed to fight to win the tenth victory ? Clearly happened. has at his disposal all of this all of this sorcery he can recall the souls that he's stolen to fight on his behalf. I want to talk stuff. I know we don't normally jump ahead. But at the end when he does have to call up all the souls, I do love that they all kind of pop out of the ground like through little circles like uh like a Britney Spears concert or something they all are shooting up from the from the from beneath the stage and I was like I wish I was on set for that day when these big muscle bound men were forced to sh be shot through holes. Like it did not go well. That was the best part of last year's Super Bowl is when Beyonce was joined, and it was exactly like that moment for me. Back from the dead And there's a there's a little bit of a a stutter step because you're being rocketed into the air. And worse, they are being shot through like fake brick. Yes. But here's what I don't understand. So when he would take I don't know any of these characters' names. Oh. I couldn't have a lot of it was harder too because they didn't say them ever. Just kidding. Everybody called everybody by their first and last name in every occurrence . When Lord Raiden came on, they said Lord Raiden about a mil if you did a drinking game every time they said the name Raiden. Yes. Were those people then dead to never be heard from again? Or did they then become his cause of what I thought was happening? I'm sure this is all in the video game again. Well, no, no, we gotta treat this like a movie. Was that those people were becoming his like sort of slave army that was there? But that was un that was unclear too because it's pretty confusing. Because sub-zero and Scorpion , yeah. You mean the guys that uh rip their faces off to reveal skeleton heads full of bugs and worms? Yes. Uh another those guys. Yeah, the guy they also got it. Yeah, those guys who are from Halloween three who also had faces of bugs and worms. Um like a real potent image, I guess, is like a head that opens and erupts into bugs and worms. I always think about like who is the bug handler that's like gotta get on set like five o'clock that morning and just be like, hey, the roach is on top of the worm, but in for continuity we need worm on roach. So if you could just get in here. Going like, do you they need some sort of push more through? We gotta get more out. We gotta move. It's like that play-doh spaghetti thing, you know, where you like shoot the play-doh out. You can get you know, I I do think, and I'm willing to say this now, that we should have an episode where we I've met a few animal wranglers. I can't believe I'm gonna go on record and say this, but they're usually they're strange . Well, I'm sorry, you're you can't believe you're gonna go on record as saying Hollywood animal wranglers are strange people. They are it's a it's a personality that that's I'm gonna say ninety percent of the time they are not animal train ers they are animal owners uh that just happen to like want them their like we had a snake trainer in the league and like oh you can't train a snake their training a snake was hitting it with a stick and the snake was like vomiting and shitting all over the floor. I was on uh a Marin episode where they had a cat wrangler, and let me allow me to throw something out there. She had a belt on, and on part of the utility belt was just a little like a tiny Pringles can sort of a thing. And it was rewrapped in brown paper and it said on it like liver liver snaps. And so she not only put it onto a belt, but she also labeled it. She's like a Batman, she's a Batman ring. She's a cat man. Cat later. Cat little liver snap area. That was labeled. That's how I knew it was labeled. Well, she didn't be reaching for liver snaps when she was reaching for something else. Yeah, no, but to to be fair, if you handle bugs for a living and you're a fan of the show and want to come on and tell us what's up with that, please come on. We will talk we will talk about that. We wanna know. I will also talk about this movie uh came out in 1995 and it was at the beginning of CGI, which is amazing because it's before people have like learned how to cue like react to it appropriately. Because CGI in this movie, like the way they're reacting is not mimicking what is actually happening. It's sort of like if something's like flying by their face, like, whoa! Oh, like they're reacting to the big disconnect. Yes. And it's so cool to see, well, I love I love like effects stuff. And I what I love about this is uh Goro's character who's Goro? The two forearms , yeah. Uh I called him in my notes. I call him old forearms. And he they clearly use like a because it's just the beginning of CGA, they clearly use a bunch of different methods to make him. Like there's some shots where it's just like a arm in front of the camera being like, hey, uh can you just get that arm over here? And then like there's other shots where it's clearly a guy standing on like another guy's shoulders. And th there's just so many composite there's like I think there's maybe even claymation in this. Oh the miniatures in this are amazing. And I o I love that from this time period is it's like very it's terminator to the best. But this is like this time period where they're trying to smash a couple things together. It's like it's like right where Clash of the Titans meets Terminator two. It's sort of like they're just don't know which side to go on. But I want to talk about Goro , uh the forearm guy. He is you're led to believe that this is a character. I know we're going out of order. Is he in the video? Is there an order? It's just a series of fights. If I hear that song one more time, I will put a bullet in my head. That was un insane. This was 80% of the moves. I wanted it to play for 90%. This and like psh psh Psh! Get over here! And it's just it was insanity. At a certain point I was like, you can't just play this song and have fights and call it a movie. I want more I like when that like it almost I I got excited in my house because I was like, Yeah, like because it at least gave me some energy too. I can't believe I don't listen to that song when I'm at the gym. I want every more Oh, I every time. Are you a song? It's the best song of all time. You are wrong. You guys are very, very wrong. I think that they wrote that song ahead of time, the the whoever put that it's it's like somebody actually Lords of Acid or something. Yeah, it is a that song is not in the video game. That is like their song. And then they put in the the Mortal Komet scream like how when Bruce Springsteen did that song that's in um whatever the fuck that movie is with uh what the fuck is that movie where Tom Cruise leaves the and then Renee's out goes with it doesn't matter. But they put the sound effect and like ruin that's their bosom buddies and now forever for the rest of their lives. I couldn't stop thinking about like if you made that song and then now the only thing people remember is like they're gonna scream that in your fucking face for the rest of your life. Well here's here is one thing I will tell you that, that album went platinum. The Mortal Kombat soundtrack went platinum in less than two weeks. For sure it did. Why? For sure. Buying it now. I'm willing to say that move that song was terrible. It was great. It was exhausting is what it was. All right, so I wanna talk oh go ahead about I was gonna ask as a fan of the video games. Did you guys like the video games? I love the video games. I didn't know. You never played it. I love the video games because it was satisfying to s to watch No, no, not at all. No, it is not satisfying. And you just do different combinations and it's like jumping . The cool thing about the video game from my remember my memory of it was it was like it was uh video. So like the characters were not like animated. They were like they b they they brought in like actors and so they were real people. And that was like a cool thing. It looks like What's the difference between this and Final Fantasy? Wasn't it? Final Fantasy is a whole different thing. Like Tekken . What was the other th sh two person Street Fighter. Oh Stre Streetet F Fighterigh. So ter and Mortal Kombat were like repeating enemy. Uh uh games. Okay, gotta go. Now uh but everybody is flipping out right now. Oh they're How the fuck do you not know what this is? Some fucking research. Do some research guys talk to me when they make a game out of pitfall. A movie or a movie about a frog and a car. Oh for Jews. Or a cube movie. You're not feeling like yourself lately, kinda low energy, can't focus, digestion being a little funky. Well, this is the perfect time for you to start. I am eight's Daily Ultimate Essentials. Oh, this is a wellness dr ink that gives your body and mine the support it needs without juggling a bunch of different supplements. No one wants to sit in front of a handful of pills, okay? This drink is loaded with 92 nutrient-rich ingredients such as vitamins, minerals, adaptogens, coq10, MSM, and pre and pro and postbiotics. They got everything. I didn't even know about postbiotics. I've been using it now for the last couple of weeks, and it's a great way to start off my morning. 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Right now, get up to sixty percent off your babble subscription at babbel dot com forward slash bonkers. Get up to sixty percent off at babbel dot com forward slash bonkers that's spelled b-a-b -el dot com forward slash bonk ers rules and restrictions may apply. When great design enters your life, the world feels more vibrant. The same happens when you step into a Buick. Feel the confidence of head turning style. Discover luxuries you don't have to wait for at Vuick.com. Fuick, exceptional by design. Can I ask a quick question? Oh yeah. What was Sonia? Was her name Sonia or Sasha? Sonia. What was their occupation in the real world? Uh special forces police. Sonia is like a policeman. She's got the shotgun in the beginning, right? It is confusing why their job uh description involves ' itcause feels like maybe they work for the government, but like but like deep ops where you just run into space. I I have the video don't have any connection to anybody else. says it in this tone of voice, like hey, Sonia, don't get don't get on that boat. Like it's like so like, oh well, oh well. She's there she goes. Maybe he's the guy that has to go back to their boss just like, I don't know. She ran into some mist. She got into a fog boat. She got it, yes. Why did the other guy, sorry, don't know any of their names? Why did the other guy want to fight her so badly? Metal face? Not metal face. I don't know by the way, this is d this you want to know, this is from the s uh the Mortal Kombat Wiki. Uh Sonya Blade is a female soldier who's a member of the Earth Realms Special Forces Unit, known as the Outer World Investigation Agency. The OIA. And uh so she she's sort of like an uh she's like a DEA agent Like a men in black. Sort of a predictive of that. Yes. What? Okay, that's really So but when the other guide says I don't want you to harm her, I just want you to humiliate her. Oh, oh, you mean the head bad guy. The bad guy. The main bad guy saying something. Really? Really disrupt. Yeah. That was humiliation. Well, they took her out of her short shorts, which she was fighting in her Yeah. For no real figure that out. But I was like, did he was he like softening her up so he could like blast her? Like what's the one? Oh didn't do. Didn't something was very wrong about that. Well and then they the the friends come and save her and the guy goes the guy who's been like flirting with her the whole time goes nice chest nice chest? No, no. sa Heys nice dress. Dress. Oh, I thought he said nice dress chest. Nice dress. And I I thought to myself, who on earth says chest? Who be like, instead of saying like nice tips or whatever, who would be like, hey, nice chest. I will say that this is my issue with her that character. Everyone that was there was a fighter of some kind, right? And they were all really but everyone was protecting her like, oh let's not beat her up. The the girl, let's not touch the girl. But she was a fucking very good fighter. They brought her there because she was a good fighter. Like that's nice to see when there's a chicken. I do think though, like she is like that Angelina Jolie variety Yeah, but that's what I had a problem with because she was really all of a sudden she was like this woman in in distress who they all had to run out of. And she was screaming and flailing about like it was very strange. And by the way, if uh you want to know who was up for this role originally, uh Sharon Stone. Oh, and who was the woman that played it? Uh this is actually Pete Sampras's wife. Oh, her name is Bridget Wilson Sam pras. Yeah. And uh Dina Meyer also from uh Battlefield or uh was it called Starship Troopers. That those are the two that turn it down. Do you guys recognize her from Billy Madison? Yes, that's a good one. Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah, so I was like , and and but uh by the way, she seems so humorless to me as a character. Like like why at one point they make a joke like about uh I wrote it down like um she's always taking that Johnny Cage's jokes as being like re Serious. Yeah. She doesn't get humor. Yeah, like like apparently her m her partner was killed by K ano, right? Her partner's killed by Kano. And from that point forward, she only has like a bloodlust for revenge and cannot entertain jokes, cannot crack a smile. All she wants, she will shoot up a nightclub. She will do whatever it takes to kill Kano. And then she snaps his leg his neck with her legs. And I was like, this is some cold ass shit right here. I feel like it's more like an anti-feminist, like women that I agree. And I felt like they shot that fight scene in I mean I did appreciate that she got punched in the face a few times. But like thank God. But they really did shoot it in like these weird close-ups that like you never really saw her . No, no, and I slowed it down. By the way, because I wanted to see him connect. She did all of her own fights. Uh all of her own stuff. And that showed though. But how could you have slowed it down? Because the fight sequences in this world far off now. I disagree. I disagree. Telegraphed punches. It was that was so crazy to me, because yeah, they did, they would always slow it down. It's like, but you're not doing anything. Like when she flips over that guy, I was like, why are you slowing down this flip? It's not like she's moving so quick. Many people were able to duck. That was a big move to get away from also. And every every punch is very easily blocked because it is set up and then very slowly executed. Even like the special kind of magical moves, they give them like plenty of time to set up. Where it's like, I'm calling to the gods, a ice thing is forming in my hand s. Like stay over there and look at it with your eyes. Can I ask this? Why wasn't any of the why weren't any of the mortals like why wasn't um Johnny Cage Johnny Cage or Liu Kang or or Sonia or any of these people surprised when there was a forearmed man, when people could summon when people could summon electricity. I mean it's a big clinch at all As far as we know. They were not this is not a world that they were accustomed to. Like Johnny Cage was not like, oh I know that there's another world. And by the way, it wasn't also made clear if they were the boat was in the air because there was so much fog or it Do you know when he the he looks and he the compass is going crazy or whatever? Do you think they were on the lost island? I thought they were on the lost island. John Locke was one of the fighters. How fucking awesome would it have been on Lost if they just walked by and m like there was a mortal combat happening in the background. The others were just like like uh like it's all those other if if like uh the man in black and Titus Welliver or Titus Wellover and the other the other guy there, when you flash back to them, they are just mortal combatants. It was never a polar bear, it was sub-zero the entire time. Well it did seem like even if they didn't know this world existed, they were very used to the idea of like magic and powers and like that was n't new information for anyone. But I think it was new information. But it should have been a few. They were so jaded. No, you could you guys you could tell that they were surprised because of their sassy jokes. You know like whenever Johnny Cage was like like that's just how he interprets the world, he's just like, oh, this again, I gotta carry my bag with the other world. Johnny Cage is my favorite character. And his love relationship with Sonia was not ever set up. Right? I mean like But then all of a sudden he's like, I will never let I'll never let you get out of my sight. And then it was like, Wait, what what just did we miss? Like a five year old I want to talk about him , woman throwing his autographed picture at the end of that fight. Now he wearing the sunglasses to the other fight. Those are five . How about See, this was during a time though, I feel like in in like the early nineties there was this real sort of like a lot of actors in movies were portrayed as just the worst douchebags in the world. Like that was during that time where it was like if you were a movie star in a movie playing a movie star. Yeah. You were getting handled pretty. We also need to go back to the fact that the whole reason he's there is because he like definitely reads tabloid articles about himself. And the tabloid articles in like Chinese. Yes. The tabloid article what he is, his character's arc is that the tabloids are saying that he is a f fakeake karate fighter. He's like, Oh, I can't stand it. I'm a good karate fighter. That's why he goes. Can I actually play this clip from the movie when he when the uh when his master uh comes to tell him to fight in this tournament? You'll get a sense of uh the movie here. Let's take a lesson. I see the uh press is still giving you a hard time. And they think I'm a fake. Johnny, you're one of the best martial artists in the world, and I can help you prove it. Prove it. How? Tournament. The tournament. It's held once a gener ation. The best fighters in the world are invited. You win the tournament. You win the respect. They'll tell the entire world that you're the real goods. That's that is the premise. Like that's pretty much. I wish though at the end of the movie we had seen, you know, printing presses , putting out some new articles. Maybe in the sequel. Maybe it's the sequel does pick up right after this movie. I wanna just before we get away from Johnny Cage, because there's something very important. Did you guys notice anything about that director that was directing the movie anything? Oh yes. It's who did it look like? Oh the director? Yeah. Steven Spielberg. Right. Now did you you'd be very surprised to know that apparently Steven Spielberg is a big Mortal Kombat fan and was supposed to make an appearance as the director in the movie, but scheduling conflicts forced him to back out at the last minute. Wow. So he was lined up. Steven Spielberg could have been in this mov I wonder if he's bummed listening to this show right now. He listens, right? You know, I also think that um somebody should tell Johnny Cage about uh PR. You know what I mean? Just like just like let him clue him in, you know, like you can get people that 'cause it he's kinda going for this like kind of word of mouth element. Yeah. That I feel like, you know, it's like invite the reporters on a set and just have him watch you actually do it. Because he is actually Yeah, there's nothing about like the it's very easy to prove that you're not a fake karate. Do like a martial arts expo. Right. Show people. That's really anything. Almost anything. That would be the only that rule would be the easiest to find. Or to be honest , uh enter a difficult to locate and or prove exists other world fighting competition that nobody is aware of. Well, wait, wait, to be no specific name. Right, in the hope of the turn of the hopes that the people there will then spread the word. Yeah, they're gonna talk about it. Yes. But but if for all intents and purposes that is impossible as everyone will be dead. Two except for the one winner in theory. To be to be uh fair to this film It's a large 'll we will say that the guy was uh face shifter. Oh yeah he was it was uh it was actually Shen's uh Sang s uh Sang Sum who uh who came there and pretended to be his old. He was tricking all of these people into coming to fight by appealing to their problems. Well look if your if your teacher, if your sensei told you there is a a thing you might go you may not ask him too many questions how come none of the guys from Cobra Kai were there they're not the best fighters does anyone all right so this is my question and, this this is the is maybe infuriating people at home. Is there a reason I don't understand like you would I uh my idea would be that there'd be somebody from every realm and then whoever won the tournament would then be the the be able to take over all the realm. And now kind of describing the plot line of Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction's Iron Fist series. Which is uh multiple realms each have a fighter and all those fighters have to fight each other. Okay. And they all have special powers about which uh which pertain to each of their places of origin. Got it. Which is a way better version of this. Yes, kinda like ask last Airbender, which was again one of the worst movies we've ever seen in our entire lives. Even the way that the people in this movie are delivering the word fighter makes that sense In this movie it sounds like a vague It it is Where are they fighting? And it's also such a weird assemblage of people. Like a m an actor, a uh this I don't know what John Ops person. Yeah. What a Lu Kang. I don't really understand what he does besides tucking shirts into jeans. Oh my god. Uh I c but we have yet to touch upon who I found to be the most bizarre person in this movie, which was Christopher Lambert. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I mean, there's a fucking Highlander in this movie. There's a Highlander. And he Lord Raiden. And he What's going on? Who is he? Is he cross-eyed? No. Well, it would be hard to know if he's cross-eyed because you can't say His accent. You can't focus on his face because he can't tell if he has an accent where he's from talking baby talk the whole time. Well is it was such a it was a fascinating performance though. Like I really I I will give him that's a really could not take my eyes off of it. Tell me more . Every time he was on screen, I because I really did have trouble paying attention to this movie. And I'm so I am a little lost on a lot of this because it really just didn't hold my attention. But when he came on screen I was Well he's always popping up. He's always popping into everybody's conversations. And then he's presenting stuff and he's like, ah, you're finally learning. But he's never presenting any like like everyone like who at a certain point I I was like, oh he's gonna train them. He doesn't train them. At a certain point I was like, oh he's gonna be the um Obi Wan Kenobi. Like he's gonna have to fight um the big bad guy. Like the like Vader and Obi Wan's fight and sacrifice himself. Nope. He like disappears for the character in the video game? Yes. Yes. Of course. What does he do in the video game? Shoots those laser eyes. He has laser eyes. Um do you think any part of your fa fixation with him has to do with his unusual hairline? It's because I think very possible. He has one of the more unusual hairlines in movie dumb. Like it's a kind of fucking signs. Yeah, but like any movie you've ever no, that's his . But that's somebody's job to make a wig look good. I mean you can't just chalk it up. The look on June's face for the line that was a wig though. Was risely that was a wig though. Sweetheart. That was a wig. Um His I mean I don't really know what's going on with his hair, but I will say have seen the Highlander series. Yes. It's as confusing. I agree with this. Should we do Highlander on this show? I think we should definitely do Highlander on this show. Should we just do every Christopher Lambert movie? That should be our live show. Also married to Diane Lane for a very long time. I love Diane Lane. My issue about him too is that it clearly Raiden, or at least when I played the game, was an Asian man, hence the rice patty hat . Yeah. And I feel like anyone else wearing a rice patty hat is offensive. I do feel like I don't feel like oh also the wig was like it it's it's definitely a wig. Listen, that could be a wig or not. I mean but, like. Do you think you could grow that length? I think you could set up hair. No, not in thickness. Welcome back to Wig Talk with June Diane Rayfield. If you have done a wig for Christopher Lambert, we want to have you on the show. You know what? If you're a a working Hollywood wig artist and have worked with Nicholas Cage, Christopher Lambert, or John DeValta, but I do see what you're saying, which is that the wig is following and mimicking a hairline that's already there. And it's but it's pretty shocking. Right. It's pretty straight across in a way that hair, you know, doesn't ever grow. There is something there is something amazing. I wanna I I wanna talk about and this I I think kinda sums up his character. So Raiden is this character who is, you know, the mentor, the Mr. Miyagi of this, who gives no information. Mr. Miyagi, you can at least look back and go, oh, well, he, the wax on, wax off taught him this. Everything that Christopher Lambert said doesn't make any sense. Uh the best thing I think that sums up this whole character is at the very end of the movie what he says to these characters that just had a battle to the death. Here, take a listen. I've got to tell you something. You guys did great . What is it? The Emperor . We pathetic fools to come for your soul . I don't think so. This is a big violent action movie and he just basically goes, you guys, you guys are so good. I'm so proud of you guys. Great job. Like it's just like it's such an unclimactic ending of a ruffling of the hair almost. Like hey you buddies. And then give them a little tidday. I don't want to. But it's like, no, you you've had nothing he didn't really assemble these people. He has nothing to do with their success. No. He didn't train them, nor did he impart anything of particular value. Lu Kang. Yeah. Didn't he tell? I mean, and by the way, that was how the movie was supposed to end, with him just going, I gotta tell you guys something. You did great. Credits. And then they added on a little bit more because I think it tested so poorly. Oh my god. That they were like, well, that's a you can't end all those children ran out. Where were those children? Was that was a school a school let out on the same on this crazy mysterious island in Bizarro land? Like I'm again, I'm not quite sure if this islands. Maybe those were the kids who were gonna spread the word about the actors. Well he's got that army on the islands and they've gotta fuck something. So there must be concubines and those girls get pregnant and those kids no doubt become like the next So that's the baby the baby of the Khaleesi? I did like Princess Katana. Anyone I thought it was pretty confusing that she fought uh what's his name? Long Lil Lil Puff Hair. Yeah. Uh and then nothing happened. How was that not they fought for a second, but it was not . When she was telling him wait, when she was telling him like what to do. What was going on there? That's the other thing I have an issue with this movie. Sometimes they're tournament fights, and other times they're just fighting in like like like it's, oh like when that army attacks the three of them when they're kinda s snooping around the the mysterious mountain. Like that's not a that's not a fight that's on record. That that's a sort of like an extracurricular fight. And why do why do they keep on saying that it was going to be there were going to be terrible consequences if she got together with what is the other one? Didn't they also say she was ten thousand years old? Yeah, she's ten thousand years old. Her wig was great. Like just great wig workers. Was it a way that she is ten thousand years old? You don't know how supernatural powers affect. It could be the opposite way, you know? Maybe an ything. Like the Morc Morgan Mindy, Jonathan Winters was a very How about the crazy stairs that the Johnny what's his name fights yellow guy on? Yellow uh guy in yellow street. I think this looks like a He-Man playset that you had at your house that they were like, does anybody have anything they could bring in? Our budget is low. Well, it was like it was like this is somebody who makes a home haunt. It's like it looks pretty good. It's like, oh put some purple light here and you can't really tell. But that's a refrigerator. It's a great survival. Stuff that looks like uh cobwebs and a couple of fake skeletons. The most upsetting thing was when that guy was eating the chicken wing. The cyborg guy? Yeah, that or the turkey leg, whatever the hell that was. It was disgusting. I hate mic's food. It was disgust disgusting. I found that really sexy actually. And the amount of food on that table. And why was he by himself and not at the banquet? Well, because that was a scene where they needed to send up all the exposition of the entire movie. They said everything in that scene. That entire scene was it was crazy. But also that banquet that he's having follows the banquet where they bring in a ton of food. Yes. A ton of food. Crap. Then they throw all the food on the ground. That's too big. That just seems to be not right. Well that was like they they kind of like welcome everybody. We're gonna have this great tournament where we fight to the death. It wasn't the dessert. It was literally they served it, flipped over every table and then one fight happened where a guy just shot like a uh an ice bolt at this guy and that was it and it was like okay and now everybody go to bed. Go to bed. Everybody go to bed. Worst worst first night at Hogwarts. You know, when all the food arrives. I thought it was like a like an Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom thing where you thought would be like monkey skulls. I guess that's what they were trying to show. Like the cruelty of them not even getting into food and then this guy, you know, having that entire table itself. I really was trying so hard and oftentimes to tell like, who are the bad guys exactly ? I don't know. What are their what is their like Kano and Forearms would to me seem to be the henchman for the main bad guy. But they were just meeting for the first time in that scene. So I was like, what the fuck is this? Who wow , this only only happens once a generation. And was the 10,000-year-old woman like a bad guy who was helping the good guys? I think that they were like keep an eye on the 10,000-year-old bad woman because she's the only one who could possibly defeat me. So she was an ally. So they needed to use the clear CGI character, which was another amazing character. They have this like little reptilian like like this little lizard and that's one of my favorite scenes in the movie when the b main bad guy goes up to like a a lizard statue , keep your eye on her and take a look at her, make and you like you don't know what's going on. fully exits frame. So that the the statue can come alive and be like a like a many toothed terrible monster. And it is it is interesting just to go back to the Goro scene when he's like introduced and you see him for the first time and they're eating and he's not eating because like obviously he's got great abs, so he probably he's really restrictive and we're not gonna be ab Oh he oh totally it's just like a high a very high protein and he has to work out twice a year. And like before seven, you know. I think I think absolutely. But then also whenever they do close-ups of his hands , what I love about his hands is that they look like the exact same uh gloves that like the ninja turtles made wore in that ninja turtles. Like they're they're weirdly the exact same thing. I think they just sprayed them. I think they just sprayed them down. They were like, uh cut off one of those fingers. I think the ninja turtles have four. Amazing. These guys have three. This guy has three. So but otherwise it was like a real recycled look that I appreciated. I wish they could have I wish I could have seen him actually hold a drum strike. Also, when it's a man in the suit, he does this one move where he raises his arms above his head and the two sets of arms are connected. Yes. So when he raises one set, the other set automatically goes It's very like cheap costume design like And so they repeatedly go back to him and he's all he's doing is just raising his arms above his head. But like the second set of arms is like very meekly following the first. Well I was gotta say I didn't feel like they used and capitalized off of those four arms. I mean there was that fight scene. Wait but that fight scene okay so he's built up as this big guy the first thing. He's like the the unbeatable guy. That they're like, oh, we're all gonna get killed by forearms. And so Johnny Cage immediately just punches him in the dick. And then he's wearing sunglasses at that point? Which at which question? At which point, l at which point Christopher Lambert punches a guy in the arm and it goes, yes. And then it goes, I'm sorry about that. And I felt like I felt like that was one of the biggest reveals of the movie was that Goro is anatomically correct. But because I was like it was noticed. But here's my issue. I was like, no way this guy's got a dick. But here's my issue. I didn't so either. He punches him in the dick and he goes down like ooh . And then Goro is literally doubled over for I would say good 15 to 20 seconds. Johnny Cage does nothing else. No, Johnny Cage like the guy is bent over. He could just be bam-bam-bam. He runs upstairs and decides to create this other plan of like running off a cliff. But it's like the guy is he has the upper hand and does nothing. He You're absolutely right. It is a it is it is a fight that is there's so much build-up, I feel like, to Gor Goro fighting any of our heroes. What we think are of our as our heroes. Oh, there are heroes. There are ours, I think. You know, I feel a certain ownership of them. You know, Johnny, Liu Kang, Sonia. Sonia, love them. She's complicated. She's ours. I couldn't tell exactly if she's but I felt like she was one of us. Anyway. So Johnny Cage is like, you know what? I'm gonna fight Goro. And they're like, what? You're gonna get killed. And he's like, I've got a plan. And his plan is punch him in the nuts and then lure him outside so you can throw him off a cliff. What? And by the way, he didn't it it didn't seem like he knew that that cliff was there. The fight is such a letdown. By the way, when you have somebody that injured, just just go But it is nice to see the device of somebody falling off a cliff and then the shot from above like with the extra arms. You know, when we've seen it before, like when the beast fell off the tower and beating the beast, like he only has two arts. No, when Gaston falls out, he only likes two arts because he's like a human person. But this guy formed as like this kind of extra thing, it's nice. And uh and I love that they had the little callback there because Johnny Cage, like, he's so upset with this movie they 're on because none of the extras are falling down at the right time. Oh yeah, right. And he goes, now you fall. And then you get to say it again to Goram Pad A dedicated mentor, an empowered parent, an effective after-school program, digital literacy tools that protect kids online . These are just some of the solutions to the youth mental health challenge. At the Coalition to Empower Our Future, we're bringing together experts in youth well-being to solve this complex challenge. Our mission keep kids happy and healthy. Learn more at Empower Our Future Coalition.com slash solutions. Pay for by the Coalition to Empower Our Future. Yamawa Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for the biggest shows this summer. Catch vocal powerhouse Christina Aguilera July 21st. Rock out to Imagine Dragons July 23rd and enjoy the signature G Funk sounds of Snoop Dogg July 24th. Tickets are on sale now at Yamaha Theater.com. Only a Yamaha Resort and Casino, celebrating its 40th anniversary. UN Must be 21 to enter . LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster. We can help you sell market, , and hire in one place. We cannot help you find space for your three desk drinks. Why do you have three? And while we can't help you find the perfect volume for your presentation video, LinkedIn can help you find the perfect audience for your business. Grow your small business on LinkedIn. Learn more at LinkedIn.com slash small business . Where do you think he put all of his luggage. Johnny Cage. Well that was a great runner. Well, where did they stay? What were their rooms like that? What were their barracks like? He brought no less than eight suitcases. Wait, like Louis Vuitton suites. Louis Vuitton, like square boxy scene. It was like a Kate Winslit gets to the Titanic situation. But then but that was the weird thing about that character. He alternated between being like, I am not just an actor, I'm a fighter . And then uh and but yet he was like also like a divae actor at certain points too. Like I couldn't quite get a handle on it. And I thought that that struggle within him was going like he was gonna have to come to terms with soon J.une, you brought me to one of my biggest points. This movie is all about inner demons versus outer demons. Oh shit. But he never really wrestled with that. He was never confronted with like his own vanity versus his you know wanting to be the real thing. Well I was he? Well I think when the I think when the woman is wearing the dress for some reason June thread was that I was a was he ? Genuinely . Stop yelling at us. Sorry. Because that what that would be how his character would would finally come to terms with Well Christopher Lambert tells them all what is holding them back from achieving like true excellence and uh being the best. And he goes one by one and is like, You are afraid uh that the prophecy is true, Liu Kang. You are g you know, afraid the you know, to be uh whatever, he says to Johnny says to each one of them and you're like, oh okay, I guess they're all gonna have to individually conquer these weaknesses in order to be stronger. Nope, not really. Okay, wait, what? The movie's over? Okay, great. I fucking hate this movie. That just made me think uh I didn't realize this watching it, but now that we're talking about it, that means that like he came back, so the whole reason he's there is so you can talk to people about the tournament. Do you think he came back and he was like, You guys. He would have seemed there. There's his acting career would have been E-tournament. Yeah. In the underworld. Four arms down the tube. He calls his agent and he's like, get me an interview. ASAP. In the trade took a fog boat with some new friends. Yep. I fought a man with forearms who fell off a cliff in a magical city. And a man with a rice patty hat told me my destiny was here. The woman was 10,000 years old. I love thinking about those interviews. And how well his career must have gone off. You're like, oh, I guess he proved it. Because before we didn't believe it, but now But it does prove that there were some people that seemed to be just there as spectators. Like they were just like, I they look like dads to me like dads in jeans are like around they didn't like they were a fighter hey uh hey Mitch you you're going to the motor combat fight this weekend once every generation and my fucking wife will let me out of the house for one week. You gotta get out of the house this is gonna be a pretty spectacular place. Did you hear? Did you hear Luke is gonna be there? His brother killed me. Gary, Pete, Luke. We're all gonna go. We're all team Luke Kang. Is Southwest going there? Does the Southwest does not but Frontier does. Oh yeah, I think it we got a real great gig. Fog plane? Fog plane. Yep, it's it flies right into the fog and you fly right out into the uh no oceanic flight eight hundred flight uh do it all right. Oh shit, I can't remember. When Goro shows up to that fight, they pan across this audience that you're talking and there's just most of them are wearing ninja outfits. There's one guy in a flannel. That was it. That was what I thought. That's what I saw. Please rewind it. I rewind it twice. I love that experience. As a lesbian, I have to always be on the look for flannels. Where are they at? How they planned it is. So it's not a good thing Oh shit. Sound Mikey? What are you doing? You know what? We're just gonna have to shoot I I uh you got to watch the fights and some 'cause they're and they're also in the front. They're like right on the stage. Here's now it's time for some facts that will I think blow your mind, because they blew mine. Um what do you think the budget of this movie was? Seventy five million dollars.. Okay 1995. Yeah, 95. 15 million dollars. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna say like 40. Okay. 18 million dollars. Really ? Oh weekend gross opening weekend 2 3 million. Wow. Worldwide gross, $1 2 2 million. This movie made as a giant hit. It was number one at the box office. It was a huge, huge movie. Now, here are some facts that also will blow your mind. J people who this movie is imaginary. Did never happen. Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp were both considered for Johnny Cage. Considered. Considered. Cameron Diaz. Yes, they were. Cameron Diaz was cast as Sonya Blade, but broke her wrist before the filming started. Jesus, I can't believe that. You know, I would have as you know, like it's so nice whenever her name comes up because you know like she is my namesake. I mean, she's only like two or three years older than me, but my parents, you know, renamed me when they heard about her From The Mask? From well, actually when she was in 17 Magazine. Oh, nice. Oh, she has her first modeling job. I remember seeing it in the credits in the back. I was like, rename me this, please, Mom and Dad. So Cameron Diaz, I can't believe you're not in this movie. It would have been so great to see all that underwear dancing that she's known for. She has so many underwear gu.ys So now so now Cameron D iaz broke her wrist. So then they hire Miss Teen USA Kathleen McClellan. So they get her in the movie. She gets injured. And so then Bridget Wilson is the third person that they cast. Gregory Mc Kinney replaced Steve James as Dax because he died. And then Brandon Lee was then cast as Johnny Cage. And then he died. Claude Van Damme turned down Johnny Cage to do Street Fighter. And then uh I don't know. I I would have liked him in this as well. I would have liked him in this. But here is the best fact of the whole movie. Now this goes back to what we talked about earlier. Apparently, get ready for this. The snake in insect action was monitored by the American Humane Association and commended the film for its responsible and sensitive treatment of even the smallest of Earth's creatures. Oh God. Wow. The next So this movie got a special commendation. Animals were treated well in a movie that was about senseless murder. Oh wow. How do you treat a worm well? I do not know. This is like decent dirt, like bird keep birds away from it. Um obviously we had opinions about this movie, but Especially if it's an early morning shoot. Yeah, you can't. I've heard that you can't you can have no apples on SETI. But do you keep a w a bird away from or is it like a dick punch? Do you think you punch the bird and it in its bird dick? You just slap the early. You know what? Maybe. Although that I don't know how to immediately and rapidly tell the gender of a bird . If you are a bird dick puncher, we want you on the show. If you know how to how to train birds, hopefully through abuse of their genitalia, to not go after worms, please give us a call. Once again, we're looking for you to clarify some things we have questions about. Alright, so obviously we have an opinion about this movie, but that is now time for a second opinion. Hit the theme song. These are second opinions from top to bottom crazy movies of fun . Okay, so these are five-star reviews cold from Amazon. One of my favorite reviews of all time is coming up. It's a little bit long, but it's well worth it. Here we go. Um, from Laura S . This is my childhood movie. They have some good fights and some really funny dialogue for understanding listeners. What does that even mean? I don't know. This movie made me interested in wisdom. What? Good looks in martial arts. Wisdom. It made you interested in wisdom. Just interested in it. Just interested. Want to check out that wisdom that everyone's talking about. Oh, you know what I'm gonna do tomorrow? I'm gonna go to the library and I'm gonna look up wisdom. Also, good looks. Good looks. Do you think they misspelled wizards? Maybe that's wizards . All right, now I'm gonna read one other uh this one is one of the best video game movies ever made. If you never saw this movie before and you watch it now in 2011, you probably won't like it with its thin and you'll think it's cheesy. But if you remember how sweet this movie was when it came out and you remember Scorpion shooting his grappling hook out of his hand and ripping off his face to reveal a skull that breathes fire, then this is for you. Five stars. Oh god, I hope this person's at a better place in life. Now here's another one. Uh the acting, the story, the special effects, everything is just perfect. My favorite scene is when Sonya does battle against Kano and we see how sexy she is with her nice breast. Five stars. Breast breast singular? Singular. You know that that seems interesting. Singular breast? With her nice breast. We can see how she is sexy with her nice breast. I can't believe that's what they were trying. I mean she's wearing black jean shorts. That's the that's the short shots, yeah. That's the fucking look in that scene. By the way, the the person who wrote this their screen name is LB W orshipper. So Pound Worshipper? I don't know. Chubby Chaser. Now I maybe Or a very big fan of Lorraine Broccum Uh this is much longer than a normal review, but I came across this one and I felt like it needs to be read. Do you want the Mortal Kombat music under you while you read it? I I you you may maybe be distracting, but let's maybe we don't have to because it is very intense. Okay, here we go. This was written on December twenty-sixth, two thousand and eleven. So it was the day after Christmas. Right after. From uh Caracas Venezuela. Now I'll be reading it the way it was written. You'll understand why in just a moment. I was a fan of the first Mortal Kombat when it came out, and I remember playing it in my 386. When the movie was announced, I almost got an orgasm and when it came out again in VHS DVD was years from being commercial. I don't know what that means. I see the movie once and another and another time. In fact this is really bumming me out. In fact, making an interstate trip on a bus, I convinced the girl that works on the bus attending passengers of put the movie on during travel. Yep, I carry the tape with me. So he brought a VHS on a bus. This is very dark. Okay. One day the tape broke up. This is a suicide note. One day the tape broke up. Yep. I see movie more than a hundred times and the tape got I cry a lot that day. And even I have the broken tape with me. When movie came out on DVD, I was Uber Happy and bought it until I was robbed. They break on my house and take my DVD Of course I bought it again, and even today when his FX are really lame compared with actual, I still enjoy a lot of this movie. The end was great too, and when I see it, I was stunned looking that there will be a second part. But as this time you must know it was but dot dot dot stay away from that. Unless you are a collectionist of MK stuffs, buy it but don't watch it, because then you will not get desires, but you must punch somebody. Don't know what that means. I think he's basically saying the second movie is not very good. I was happy when I bought the movie. There's a sequel to this? Yes, called The Mortal Kombat Annihilation, which is what we were going to do, but uh I assure that we couldn't do that until we saw this one. I was happy when I bought it. Remember at the end when they're like, uh oh the Well I figured, but I didn't I knew that that's what it was. It felt like it could have fallen through the cracks. It came out many years later. Alright, so here's the end of it. Here it goes. I was happy when I bought the DVD and I see it has Spanish subtitles because as you must know now from reading my review, my English stinks So I only buy DVDs that have Spanish subtitles, and as like some divinity don't want me to throw my money away. The MK two movie has not subtitles, and I can't really remember what to do with my VHS tape. I really want to believe that I threw that one out the window . Five stars. I don't this is one of the craziest reviews. It's pretty intense . It's intense and I you read. I want to know where he's going on that bus. He's on an interstate trip with a VHS copy, convinces someone to get it. Finds out it's gonna be on DVD after this after he finds out the movie's coming out, he's gonna have an orgasm. Then he gets the DVD, his house is robbed, the DVD is stolen. And then he finds out about the sequel, he kinda slams the sequel, and then he's just wants to let you know that this is this is a good DVD because it And please don't forget that he watched that tape so much that it broke. It broke. He broke . I've I've not watched anything enough that a tape would have broken. I remember getting worried that my VHS tape of Anna Green Gables was going to go. Yeah. Like that it was actually . No, that was given to me. It was for sale. Okay. Because I remember thinking that about things that I had like taped off of television but you couldn't get. Like