Trivia and Closing Remarks

I want to share something that really caught my attention as a parent. I've learned that myopia, nearsightedness, is becoming much more common in kids, and it's not something you want to ignore. If it goes unchecked, it can have an impact that goes way beyond schoolwork. What really matters is starting with an eye exam. An eye doctor can tell you what's going on with your child's vision and walk you through options that are designed specifically for kids like Esler stellist lenses. I like that stellus lenses are made for children and fit right into everyday life. They look like regular glasses, but they're part of a more thoughtful approach to managing myopia If you're a parent and you've been meaning to book an eye exam, this is your sign. Visit Eler. com to learn more about stellist lenses and to find an ELer experpert eye careare professional near you Enjoy even more before you spin with Caesar's Palace Online Casino. Download today and register with code radio launch. ten dollarars no deposit casino bonus on seelex sllock games, one time wagering requirement, pllus one hundred percent deposit match on up to one thousand dollars on seelexl loock games, fifteen times wagering requirement, pllus two thousand five hundred bonus reward credits. Must be twenty one plus and physically present in New Jersey. mininimum wagering within seven days required to unlock bonuses. Full terms and wagering requirements at Caesararsspalacenline dot com slash promos. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call one eight hundred gambler teext says you're on my mind. The bouquet from one hundred eight hundred Fowers says, You're my everything Heartfelt moments belong in the real world, not just your phone. For fifty years, one eight hundred Flowers has helped millions of people make memories that'll last a lifetime, with gifts they'll cherish forever. Theyir expertly curated arrangements and gift baskets shipped nationwide with a one hundred percent satisfaction guarantee. Don't wait for the next big moment. Make it. When you visit one eight hundredflowers dot com slash SXM today, that's one eight hundredflowers dot com slash SXM It's like bloodsport meets bloodsport but in the past and with slightly less kicks to the balls. We saw the quest, so you know what that means? Now is time for How of this have a celebr w How of the survey? Let's in the mediocrity of some b ar. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question How did this Get made? Hello people of Earth and welcome to How did This Get madeade? I'm your host, Paul Sheer, joined as always, by Jason Manzukas. How are you? Jason? I'm good, Paul. How are you? Very good And June, Diane, Rachael, how are you, June? good How are you Paul? Very good. Thank you for asking We have a very special guest joining us today. guysys dial down the heap. know, look You know, we can't control We can't control the good chemistry that's coming out of the microphone. God Ebody listening is just so turned on. June, I hope you have a great podcast. Thanks, Pa. Thank you so much. Oh God, get a room. great now everybody's pushing pauses to just jacket. And that is our hope that you do this at least three times. Welcome to this episode. Welcome to the jack cast of How did this getet madeade? I actually think we were written up on the Onion AV Club as a podcast of jacket too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah they haveod another head pod Jack yeah Pod. All the pods were. We did not have that. We don't. we don't As Much as they like you to believe that we have something for podjacking, we do not. Now back to our coverage of gimlet joke. We have a very special guest today. You might know him from Guy Code. You might know him from the TV show Younger or his podcast High and Mighty. I consider him a Jean Claude Van Dam Aficionado. Please welcome John Gabris. Oh, thank you for having me. Gabras. G see you everybody. A long time coming. Oh yeah, and I consider myself a Jean Claude Van Dam Aficionado as well. Well when I wrote you to tell you to to ask you to come on the show and I told you the movie, you said you told him. I told him you come on the show. That's Paul Sheia right there. He writes it and he says you're coming. Youre on the show. I dictate it. Well people were there was an uproar because we just did blloodsport. That was the last episode we did. they said. We're going to say uproar in quotes. There was an uproar. I mean uproar a podcast uproar that you were not involved in the bloodsport episode because Of your die hard love of bloodsport. Die hard bloodsort fan. Die hard JCVD fan, Sagal, all what you is your jam. Yeah, I was born in nineteen eighty two and the early nineties to late nineties, I was taking karate classes. I'm all with you. like dad had a ponytail. Like we were just I was full blown martial arts white trash. I was obsessed. I love that part of your Part of your backstory involves your dad having a podo d. Be I started I started taking karate classes on a pod. then he joined after watching one of my karate. That's amazing. That's like, and we're both from Long Island. and that's a very Long Island dad thing to do. Like now I'm getting into it. C I like you guys a question that do you think your dad got into it Because he couldn't handle the idea that you might be able to beat him at something And he was like, oh, I got to learn these skills. so if he comes after me, I can can I can shut this kid. Yeah. He can be the man of the house. Yeah too early. My dad's like, he's going to get me back for beating me all those years. My my dad I took a karate class in Long Island, but my dad was a dad who was like We should get out of this one because the dojo closed down. Then the guy started doing classes in his house. And one of the classes was he had a bucket of sand. Oh the hand tone. hand. Yeah, the hand. And my dad's like, what are we doing? I'm not paying to put your hand in a buck I gu. I't even know what that it. My karate classes were in a dude's garage in Freeport and he was a Vietnam vet. But I learned a bucket of sand Yeah that you were touching Well, it's like it's strength testing. It's like sand in the bucket and you just put your hand Press your hands into it over and over again to toughen up your joints and the skin on your hands So you're just like burying your finger chaning your hand into the bucket of sand and pulling wet sand. No, it's not sand. Yeah. You're just trying to get it further and further in so that your fingers and hands toughen up and strengthen. Yeah, it's not a good idea, especially for a child if a child should not be doing. Yeah, it's like breaking boards. Yeah Much more into a wet sand and jam Th a dry sand. sand feels like you would break a finger moie. I guess if you're a pussy. Yeah, maybe you're right. So when I asked you to do this podcast and I told you the movie, you replied by saying, it's your eleventh favorite John Claude Van Dampfilm. Can Can you run down the top ten? Do you know them? I don't off the top of my head, but I could tell you that literally almost everything up to, including double team knockoff And sudden death are all ahead of quest in W Death warrant, double impact, hard target. These are all like these are some Universal soldiers Universal two Universal Soldier One and two Cyborg, the preur Street Fighter Street Fighter was a bad movie. Yeah. All these other movies when I was a kid though, all these other movies weren't bad to me Yeah. you know what I mean? But I think this movie that we're about to talk about was like, For me seeing my dad cry for the first time and undid, like I was like, o, maybe he's not good in anything.. Well, this is an interesting movie because there is something really amazing about Bloodsport. And we just talked about it a bunch. and we didn't get hear June' opinion on Bloodsport, but you can maybe share some of it today. but It was great because it's like the height of everything. but now this is kind of and I was thinking about this on the way over, this is like Jean Claude Van Dam's independent movie. Like it's like he's Like he he's making choices here. He's directing it. Porly poorly, I might add. He has teamed up with Frank Dukees. and if you haven't read the article Frank Dukees and sllash Film, it will blow your mind. but Frank Dukes again to write this story, but it's very it takes away all the fun of Van Damn, but then replaces it with like Van Dam It takes everything that you liked about Boodsort. This is the dumb and dumberr of Bloodsport. L it takes everything you liked about the original and waters it down and makes it's so like it's so repetitive. It's so similar to Bloodsport, but so worse. like it's not there's not it's not ratcheted up in any way Yeah you know, you would think the move would be like, okay, that worked So let's take that and let's add this other thing and make it even better. No, let's subtract a lot of the interesting stuff to splits Buns you know, there nounchun There was no bun. I thought the bun were There was no splits. I was glad there weren't any splits. I learned something about myself watching Bloodsport, which is I'm very uncomfortable. and I'm looking at this. don't worry, but I'm very uncomfortable seeing a man in a split. Really? really? It does something to my insides where I feel like stop. You have to turn away when Pul is doing I' likeaz in the morning. What amount of flexibility in a man don't like to see. Really? You' like your men to be Unable to stretch very well. No much Now Paul has no flexibility in. Thank you. Yeah And we've heard the electric sexuality that is between you. legs are like I't have to get into my flexibility. fuck is. I don't have great Pictures of Paul's legs in the show notes. That's why I show you. We've worked out together a bunch. and we have Trainers are shocked that he has ero flexibility Well that's why we do like tree trunk legs. like they don't get, they don't flow anywhere. Yeah I will say this is why we don't do video podcasts is becauseaul none of Paul's joints are flexible. No, I'm Paul he's leaning against the wall at like a forty five degree angle. My legs are the size of gots. I have gots ue legs and it's very difficult. what it is, but seeing a man in splits like that for so long And it's interesting too, because I do like male gymnasts. I think that's a nice physique And I can appreciate that. But seeing him in splits was so upsetting to me. So I personally was happy that there was weren't any splits. But let me ask you this look Jon. sorry. Do you mind If you were to be in a yoga class or something and a guy was to show himself to be very flexible, would you find that unattractive? If I'm going to be very honest. I would ask you be only honest 't realize a symbol of a healthy body. the flexibility of one's joints And you are like, no thank you, Barf in a man Yes I're old school. Love it. That's old school. you're more a Jimm Lary.. let me ask you this. What What if you wrote? I don't know why they're so flexible. You don't know why. don't know why. You don't know what is tr. I don't why they're spending their time getting that flexible. I don't like it. It's a sign of a wasted life or a man not providing if he can be that flexible. He's like clearly just working on himself. By the way, maybe it's a primitive thing where I'm like, what's going on in your groins? Are you what is happen? Is your problem? Like I don't know Is a problem that you find flexibility to be feminine or you're worried they're hurting their dicken balls. I think maybe a little bit of both. Interesting. It's like puts you in a very weak terrifying position to be that open. Like your your taint is completely like that it's just you smashing it onto the ground or I always think about how your balls feel because your balls at that point are hitting the ground Before you like yours would. Yeah.. Yeah. because guys are going down. Well, I guess if you're not doing it on the ground, he's always on chairs. I'm assuming, I'm assuming no, no, he does it on the ground too. on No, I've stretched Paul out a number of times. I don't know why Please continue. I will know why flexibility is on trial This is not a show about did this get stretched It our straight off show on how and it's all about stretching people and It's behind a paywall, but you're gonna love. Stretch him a number of times. And I have done it and I want you to flexibility. Given it my all. I haven't held back from trying to make you more flexible I have have not I haven't. I have not. I have not. I want you to know that. But areren't you a little concerned that he's going to become too flexible and you're gonna lose it for him? No. You just need to be functioning. Yeah. You need to be able to bend down and pick up that soda can.. I can bend down, please. don't think me of someone who can't bend down. You're like Roowan Gardner and Rokie of the. A lot of people, I have noticed that you in order to pick stuff stuff up off the ground, you have one of those grabbers. Yes, of course. But because it's just it's cumbersome to get down and pick a penny off the ground or anything s. So yes, I also like maybe leave the pny if it's heads up if it's Jason, if it's heads up, that is good luck and I am not leaving good luck out there. Not my twelfth TV show willill I stop picking up pennies off the ground? G gra. Get me my penny grabber. June, you asked how are we with flexibility? I would like to say I am surprisingly flexible Really? six foot two, three hundred pounds. that karate. It was I did a lot of martial arts when I was a kid and was really into it. So you can't do splits. I can't do splitits, but can like I in I could sit in full squat for a while. You know, I could do like the paio chair or it's just spl. I can do that. I mean, Jason, can you do a split? No, I can't do a split, but I am very flexible. Really? How flexible are you? I'm pretty flexible. You can do the French j. could do it you can't do split, but you do the French oyster, which is a very I don't even know what that is. I a Frenchyster. If there is anyone the It is. If there's anyone in the world I thought would know what a French oyster is, it would be you, J. Oh man, I feel bad No It's not an fingering position, so you don't have a pass. That I'm a hard passath. I remember the French oyster from my parents' The Art of love book. You remember that Oh my s. They like had it up and I took it off the shelf on an upper shelf. Yeah you were like, wait, are shel There are books up here, guys. Yeah, for those of you listen to this, before the internet you used to have to jerk off to your mom's stolen books.. Or something newew our bodies yourselves. Yeah ye I just saw somebody walking around the other day and I was like, how do you find this acceptable? It was like a black t shirt and on the back it was just a bunch of sexual positions. L And it was like, yeah, I guess like when I was a kid we were wearing like these big Johnson t shirts which are really funny, you know Soccer players do it for ninety minutes. Yeah. but I just thoughtw that was such a funny crazy thing be I' gonna put my sex positions in shirt. I can't I need people to know that I need a visual aid to tell me how to f And I'm gonna put it on my body. it's basically like treating other people like I need to help them. Right. Because I know this, it's on my back for you. I endorse this. When you're waiting in line at seven hundred eleven, you can pick up a few pointers. Y. Before I go in the room with my wife, I like to look at the back of my shirt and go, all right, number six A is what I'm gonna do it I this going. We believe that if you want to earn an undergraduate or graduate degree, working a full time job should be a speed bump. Not a stop sign Thomas Edison State University It's the university that works for you Learn more at tesSu. edu Ryan Reynolds here from MintMobile with a message for everyone paying Big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just fifteen dollars a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mint moobile d. com slash switch. Upront payment of forty five dollars for three month plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required, intro rate for first three months only, then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra, Sfil terms at MintMobile. comot Carters has your family covered for every summer first. For steps, first swim lesson, or for sleepover. Our clothose help kids and parents shine, thanks to comfy design and easy dressing details. Visit cararters. com to shop the latest styles or find a Carter store near you this. So right, this movie, like we're going back to the idea that it is very much the same exact idea of Budsport taking out a lot of the fun. It's eight years later and the first thing that will First of all it's a period movie. When I when that comes out just nineteen twenty, I'm like, why? D he have to do this? I got excited. No I remember seeing this one when I was a kid. The two things that broke my heart were PG thirteen. If that came up in a movie that I was about to watch, I got so mad ' that means no tits, buns or murder. Well, you could get buns in a PG thirteen. You can get buns, I think for quick. Dude buns. Dude buns. Yeah. yeah, dude buns. But maybe it's a different time. And then when it said nineteen twenty, I was like, oh, fuck this movie. basically a period movie in an action movie. besides like the untouchables show me, it takes away you know the fun is not gonna be there one hundred percent. Well, I mean, like you know, there's a version of this movie like like I, for example, loved like the movie the the way I just thought of like ten examples where I'm totally wrong. Yeah. I love the movie Ogbok. Right, rightight And that's like a perod movie. Yeah yeah, it's a movie T fighting movie that's like am like unbelievable fight sequences and it's like in the past you know, in then like a distant past blah, blah blah. This could have had the fun of that. It simply did not. Well, and well go ahead. No, I was gonna to say I did fall asleep for fifteen minutes of the movie. Yes. you didn't miss much I have to that's a major disclaimer. and I had a very hard time you. I had a very hard time watching this movie. I was really checking out a lot. So forgive that, but I could not follow this. I could not follow I actually want toone still the I do have a couple I do have a couple of plot point issues. I think before we even get into the main meet, we just have to talk about the opening scene, which is Amazing. You mean the bookend old man Yeah Old man Mandan you can tell that Van Dam directed this movie because he's trying. he's like there must have been twenty things he wishes he could have done and does it all in this movie. That's what I think it's so f interesting about this movie. It's like all right, here is it's like every it's like I'm an action star, but this is my chance to show people they're wrong about the muscles from Brussels. I'm also the actor from Brussels and the director and the storyby from Brussels. Yes And so he comes in an old man makeup and then you know In this weird sequence with like a very prominent Schlitz sign almost distractingly so giant neon sign. I thought when I saw that, I was like, oh man, you get brand sponsorship and this movie could only get Schlitzz We' give you eighty bucks if you put this neon sign up. all six packs eighty dollars, so whatever you want And then like characters that are straight up out of the wararriors walk in. That's a great nineties movie trope though, is that the bad guys 'cause they didn't wantan to make them all black or all Latino in those gangs, where it's just like one of each race and they all dress like cyber punks. Yes. That's like The most threatening they are is a switch bllade. Yeah. they always have a switch old man, Give us the money And they come in a fraction of a second after' un calledam does.. They' in an empty bar that doesn't seem like, by the way, even if they took the till of that bar, where do they t?ike twenty five bucks? Yeah Why don't I put a little bit of whiskey in that coffee? Yeah? I wass like, Oh the fuck is this actor? Yeah. He's like looking down the barrel saying not fair to Irish people in this movie either because he's a little Irish in that movie and the cops are super Irish. that whole I mean, I don't want to keep going hard After this scene where we see O Van Dam, we see the other Van Dam that he always wanted to be French clown. F Van. Yeah Arlacquino Van Dam That was when I was I remember seeing this when I was a kid. First of all, this came out the same year as Bloodsport two. Oh How weird is that? that they both came out the same year. I he' not in Bloodsport two. He's not in Bloodsport two. This is like a spiritual sequel. It's the Ten Clover Field Lane That broke that broke myart I saw this one in the theaters, but that's part I watch on VHS. I saw this in the theaters. And when my fucking idol, the muscles and brusselles, this guy's such a big. when he shows up in clown makeup and like fucking period gear. It's nineteen twenty five. And he's on stilts. He's wearing like a newsy cap and has like French clown like a face like a Marcel Marau face. Yes. like m face.. And then he stands up and he is on stilts. And I just about lost my mind It's just clear so clear want doing a joke too because I feel like when he was sitting down, he's getting his shoes shined but to be on steiltts. Yeah. Like I feel like in his mind it's a joke. He also is the leader of a gang of street children. He's like a fakey. He's a bad guy, right? Think he is a child? Dud. Well, I want to get into his journey for the entire movie. And this is why I was really baffled Okay, and this is jumping ahead a little bit. But when we find out that his mother died and I guess sent him to America with a governess who I think they abandoned him't just re straight gives him a note and walks you back you wait right here, I'll be right back, Gonzo. But did anyone else Are we supposed to believe that what she read was not actually in the note Because he picks it up He picks the note up. I thought he would like at some point like pull the note out of his pocket or something. At this moment, we should also probably say that none of this ever comes into play in the whatsoever. This flashback is exclusively for Vand Damn to work out M. chang is that you have no idea why I don't know what he's after for the entire movie. I really don't. I don't know. and again, maybe it was in the fifteen minutes I missed, but it keeps on changing. Yeah, I don't know if he does really want to go back to America to be with the street children. I mean, is that it? Yeah, I think he wants to go back to America to rescue the street. by he he does leave them for a couple of years easily. But this is a time where years m up. But here's my question. He seems to be the leader of a child gang corct like Fagan, like go out and rob the rich and bring it back to us. Yes. And that to me seems like he's a bad dude. No, he's not a. that's He's seing himself as a little bit of a Robinhood situation. I think. And he's stealing from like the mob. Yeah. Okay He's stealing okay guys or whoever Yeah, so Robin. Can we listen to John Clv V Dam T talk toren? I don't think you can criminalize street children anyway. I mean, even if they were just stealing from Wait a second. So mean because what you're implying is that like even Fagan and the street children and Oliver are bad somehow Well, I think Fagan is bad How you don't think Fagan is thatad? I don't really remember Fagan. I just remember I feel like if Fagan's like, hey kids work for me and I'll give you some food and stuff like that, but we'll steal my m okay. I feel like that's what he's What age does a crriminal does a child become a legitimate criminal June? eighteen. eighteen. until eighteen kids can do whatever they stet kids. spepecifically, street kids. If you have a house Virs. Yeah. Y virtgins, you newZies, they can do whatever they want. They' free your hoodlbs, you goodance, you drive when they're tried as adults and not Juvies. Okay, so Juvies Now what we have not realized about June, yes, I have a lack of flexibility, but June also was a Juvie. She went to How many years did you do with Jie? so you believe that as long as like these kids aren't criminals because they're not they're only being told by J Jean Claudes the criminal I don't think he's crimin. I don't know why're say any of them are criminals. He's trying to feed. L wait a second. He fights police. Yeah. He like kicks a policeman in the face. Those Okay, that police force, by the way, was opening up fire with machine gun. children. That was That was the. That was By the way, we want to talk about that. The police are the ones like, All right, Duubois, get downong.. Ebody knows Chris Dub Bois. They're all officer Crumkies, right? They're all. to listen to the Irish cops, This is hear of their voices. They're pretty great B I want you and your kids off the street. I made it to B. This is it So that's a little taste of like what their voices are like, but he I don't want to get into like police politics here, but I do feel like you don't think this is the place. I don't think this is talk about are the time. to say get your kids off the street. I mean, where should they go? What resources and services are available? Clearly a criminal that's running a child criminal He's doing like a distraction for them to pickpocket people, right? And I think that' stealing from the mob and they're getting food But it doesn't make a difference what they're doing with the money. they're still stealing it. Okay, well show me the social services that are available to them. This is This is new deal This is This is preewal This is pre newew deal. So there's not a lot of a lot going on. This is o. I believe and I might be wrong, but I think that that all of these boys that he's running with They eventually mate with all of the girls that are in Annie Y yes. And by the way, I do want to be fair, just if you are listening to the podcast, you should know and we put this disclaimer here that June does run an organized group of children to do her bidding and kind of stealing and. Well and because she knows that legally They cannot be held responsible for king they doil they areunation of. What personor You you remember, by the way, when we were watching the scene, I said I will have if a child gets hurt here, I will have to leave the room and stop watching Yeah. I mean, I felt so deeply for those little street urchants. Well lucky for you Nothing in this film has consequences Like literally Let's listen to JCVD, talk to kids. This is a great speech. So they thiss come and they rob the mob and here we go And tell you what Where, Greg? This we my respect If we want something, we take it These are not good like. Yeah I'm just realizing something right here. That's also not how money works. I think And I hear now in this speech why you think he's a bad guy. Yeah. But I do think what must have happened was that governness or whoever that was left him. He was a street kid, probably had his own gang. and those kids that he came up with, who knows what happened to them? And he just stayed within the community of street urs And he like rose to the top as a bad guy. as a thirty eight year old' like's not you. He is not young in this life Like what And by the way what is going on? Like who is he dating from this pool of children? L what's going on? And he's basically saying if we now we have money and now whatever we want we're going to take N buy if we see something We'll take it. This provies us respect he go works forever and ever. These poor kids are being so misled. That's a bag with like nine thousand dollars Which in its twenties, that's a lot of money. lot ofoney but that's in perpetuity. They're not investing. And they' about kids S showow me their road to opportunity, you know, I don't know where it is. Every single one of these kids is on opium by the end of the movie Like in the two years that he's away, they are all dead for. That's what that's what's like you said you fell asleep for fifteen minutes. Yeah. I did not, but I thought I did because I kept going like, wait a minute. how did he get to this island? D Anda I wrote What about the kids? And I kept like going like, does he revisit America? keep giving us they also keep giving us like time markers. like when when Roger Moore gives says to him, okay, there's going to be a boat to take you back to America in a month. The next cut is six months later. It's not even too Van Damn. No cut you never They're like When they now we're pushing ahead, but're like, he's become a Moiai master. I'm like we saw carry Bamboo. and then cut six months later and it's like you're the best fighter we've ever had. And here's the other problem with it. The movie opens after the O manan image, it opens with these scrolls being delivered all around the world. and love by the way Loved this. The scrolls in the beginning favorite where James Remar gets his scroll inviting him to to the match and has to open it while wearing boxing gloes. And the way that they deliver these messages, it's kind of great like there's a dinner theater fighting experience where people are like friend guy and suspendnder.. It's amazing But everyone gets delivered these scrolls And then I'm assuming because like scroll, scroll, scroll, that when we see Jean Claude Van Demn, all of a sudden he's going to have this run with the cops and then someone's going to be And. No no. Th thenen he has a whole plot. He goes on a boat. Let's say conservatively, he's on that boat for at least a month, maybe two months. Oh much more than that enough little Th land. Right. Okaykay from New York to Th from New York from New York City. He stoed away on a boat, becomes a boat slave. Yes for months. So okay, so we say let's say conservatively three months, all right conservatively. you say you're saying conservatively? Yeah C pointed out on that boat, he's just simply moving like Oh, why is he movingait, especially that's clearly more than a month into the boat. they're like, you know what? Let's get those today. We got to bring those bags downstairs. It's like why why? They're running guns from New York under the auspices that it's grains from New York and that's the other crazy thing is Van Damn they're like A ten year old kid goes to Van Dam who just got shot, who was shot by a gangster by the way, think a great bullet.. Wh was a real kid. The reason he got caught was he was looking through. they were arguing Van Dam. and then he just shoves the boxes he's standing behind. Yeah. It's not like a cliche like where a cat makes a noise. He just shoves the boxes, the guy turns shhoots a child and then the kid is hurt and he goes, Fuck it, you gotta run. The mob is gonna get you. The mob doesn't kill kids because they're the mo mobQestion mark. And also it's like they're gonna blame you. But there's mafia dudes all around. There's like machine guns they're holding. It doesn't make any sense. And then he just gets on a boat and leaves these kids and all he cares about is taking care of them and then conservatively how long he sayays he's on that boat Conservatively, ye, I see I'm gonna go liberally two and a half monils.. So liberally. Liberally I do wanna talk about all this. I'm just gonna say just for the timeline argument. I'm gonna say very independently. Yeah Like green or month Green June matter of factactly, how long you think you've on that boat? I don't know. I honestly thought it could have been years. Okay, so I had no idea. Now know now we know when you fell asleep. I didn't know. So the whole like marking of time in this movie was insane to me. So he's on this boat for a number of months He then goes to Muitai Island for six months. We know that No He's there longer than six months. There's just a six month jump. Okay to Roger Moore. He doesn't leave immediately after that. He's still there, I think. Okay for some period of time like the least same we can They argue that a year has passed from when those scrolls were delivered Oh to when the fight begins. at least. And there seems to be like it seems to be like took James Remore a year to get there. It took the fucking fencer guy a year to get there. It's not like they send those scrolls out like, hey, in two years, was a spepecial. a wedding invitation. Yeah.' the d scroll The other thing about this movie There's not a better thing inough for me as as an action movie fan. There's not a better thing than like, look at all these different types like Bloodsport doing it literally the best of like monkey Man, sumo wrestler guy. theseese are such watered down versions of these badasses that they try to make a fat man standing up out of a hot tub seem intense. Oh yeah. Like his tits bounce and it's like, d D. he's like Japan. It's like, wait a minute. that guy looks just like me. L the same exact body as that guy. Yeah. And they're saying like, o uck Oh, he's terrified. I mean, basically they go to I mean, the whole movie revolves around a stereotype fight. It's like, what stereotype from what country can we get? Spanish guy who's doing the flamenco That's not a martial art. All his movves are flamenco based. It's crazy. He's doing spin kicks, not flamenco style, but he does stand with one R No, it's not. Also, what this movie posits is that every single country has its own unique fighting style You know what I mean? so that like Japan is represented by Smo, Brazil is represented by Cuera. like Thailand is represented by Mui Thai, like every whatever Baba. And then there's like a British fencer. Yeah. And he gets them scroll and they're like, Ohh, PS, you can't use a sword. So I hope you can translate fencing, which is literally not dangerous at all. I hope you can translate to that to bare knuckle fist fight, hardcore fistfight. and then Just I mean, and we're going out of or, but who cares? There's like the guy who we trains with on Muai Island, who he doesn't seem to have a great relationship with. They don't really even show him a Mr. Miyagi relationship, which is again, he's takaking out all the things that make bloodsport interesting.. He literally didn't train unless I was asleep. No. That's when I thought I fell asleep. I literally was like, okay. They're just at Hobbs Lord Hobbs playing, you know, they must have just needed to get more Roger Moore screen time to. By the way, Roger Moore amazing in this movie. I am a big fan. I mean, he's great in everything And another another opportunity for him to pronounce the name Smith as Smith. R fromil I have to ask Did you notice a difference between I mean, I don't know Muai that well, but I felt like I never saw a difference in the way he was fighting. No. That's what's crazy is and the other crazy thing is that Hob says that's he's the best fighter I've ever seen. And he watched him do thirty seconds of his hands chained together choking a guy on a boat while there was a gunfight going on. He's like, we're going sell him for big buckss Where the fuck did you get that idea from? And why would you sell a guy who's a fighter to an island full of fighters? Like we just don't trade any, I think I think he was he was basically like sold him onto Mui Thai Island to be like, this guy's a fighter. you can use him. you can for what purpose I think they' trying to get some bucks off of him. They're trying to get It made no sense. But then the guy he sold him to at the Mui Tai Island and again, maybe I was asleep, but it seemed like he felt he got you know, the raw of the barest Well So why? Yeah Be I think because it appeared in the beginning Like he had he thought maybe he'd paid too much for J. He he said he said about John Govandam's like if he loses in the first round, this is not an investment. Exactly.. But that makes there's so much shit this whole part he they show him twice on Moy Island once carrying bamboo sticks, watching guys kicking on the beach Then they show him Defend two kids a kid from being bullied That's the only time they show him on the is. There's no training sequence. How does this not moment where he's doing splits or learning moita? That's the biggest and best trope from these movies is training m. My problem with this movie and again, maybe I was asleep, you know I tell you important I would't tell you when you were asleep. v fine. But it felt to me like I know what you was You know, he was sold as a slave, it seems almost twice once to the boat Yes, and then back to he wasn't sold the first time. He was just a slave on the boat because he was was a slave the boat. And then he was like a fighter slave to the guy in the Muai Island. MTI. Yes, but it seemed like, wow, if I was in that position, I would revolt against fighting I would feel like fighting to me is being a slave Becauseuse he's really being trained as a spight. fight. But fighting, I think is his only way out. But why didn't you make the argument that if you're making a mo otherwise you're just gonna be like movving bamboo forever. Then he cares so much about fighting the rest of the movie, and I couldn't understand get the gold dragon to free the kids. The motivation makes no sense. He's like, once I get this gold dragon, I split the money with this guy who's already sold me into the sl And he was untrustworth. And then I could take that money and bring it back to the kids who have all definitely been killed at this point. And at this point we're saying it's at least nine months, if not more. Cervative Conservative. This is what's even weirder is, okay So Roger James Bond, Roger Moore, sells JCVD to the guy on MTI, Moie Ta. Yes, Okaykay, disappears. Six months later, Roger Moore comes back and he's like, o, look, you're still here. Oh no I think same they're say Bango. Bangkok, Bangkok Stars. he doesn't even expects Be because JCVD is not just like fighting normal fights, I guess. But then JCVD comes to Roger Moore and is like, this is where I got confused. He's like Do you know about the lost city and this big secret fight? That whole exchange is like a who's on first? Yes. It's like Lost city, Lost city, Golden Dragon Golden Dragon. It's like is a fucking comedy sketch. And it's like all exposition and it basically sets up The point of the movie, which we are like conservatively one hour in now. Yeah. dude, they set this up They do the scrolls thing Yeah then do seven minutes seventeen minutes of Vanamn backstory, and then they're like, all right, remember that scroll thing? Now it's going Why would he ever want to partner up with his previous owner? I know. R Thats That's bad no enslave mentality. He has no. That's like that you get in that you get in that zone. that was it called it the syyndrome stockolm Sockolm syndrome But then he goes you know, so far as to even free them when they're enslaved later in the movie. There's something so weird here because my gut would be just simplify it He's a guy who gets in trouble with the law, falls in the boat, has no martial arts training, goes to Mui Tha Island, becomes an amazing fighter and then fights. That's the moment fights as the representative of Mui Thai Island. But you've given him an identity and then he's able to win the Goldlden Dragon and bring it back to the kids. I'm a new man. I learned martial arts. free all of Mui Thai Island, then go and free all of the kids. He frees everyone. Instead, he's just like the pawn of Wa So do you think everyone on Mui Thai Island is a slave? I think they want to be the. I think they want to look they sound like they're a revolutionary group and that's why they buy the guns. Oh I think they're tr. I think they're like trying to do a coup. But then why does the owner of Mui Thai Island go when he finds out that that JCVD is going fight in the big tournament. He's like, Oh, why would you do that after all this training? I just say. But then you cut to the big fight tournament and he's got his own guy there. I mean, you know I'm gonna get out' m This is how I thought interviewing for a better job would go This is how it's going A great work history isn't enough. I need to degree, but I also need to keep working to support my family. At Thomas Edison State University, we help open the door to a better job with undergraduate and graduate programs in today's in demand fields, all online to fit your schedule. helpping interviews go more like this. Thomas Edison State University, the university that works for you Learn more at tSu. edu Carters has your family covered for every summer first, for steps, for swim lesson, or for sleepover Our clothes help kids and parents shine, thanks to comfy design and easy dressing details. Visit cararters d. com to shop the latest styles or find a Carter store near you Why have we asked our contractor we found on Angie. com to be our kids legal guardian Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids, all eight of them. Should something happen to us Are you my dad now Uh no, sorry. I do basement. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over thirty years. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at anngie d. com The other thing this movie is missing is how is he a good fighter? All we see is that he's a street performer and then he's like a total And then everybody, James Remar, everybody is like, he's literally the best fighter I've ever seen. He gets always after like two small demonstrations of fighters. The James Remar Seni you're talking about is a boxer squares up, Van Dam kicks him in the leg and goes, That's the best fighter I've ever se involved literallyx. I've never been kied. Yeah. he is also James Remar where June feallsight. James Remar. He put his life on the line Y He basically James Remar, who has been invited Oh to the top secret Lost city fight. He's gotten a scroll because he's the heavyweight champion of the world. Y By the way, James Remar is amazing in this movie. I want to play this scene. So basically, James Remar gets one kick and he's like, I'm out of here and he runs away into the desert just to make sure if people don't know James Remter's dad Oh, Dexter's Dad. I know him as Richard, Samantha's boyfriend on The billionaire on Sexity. If you don't think I have the Seon City box set, I do. The one that comes in loose sight with a heel on it. what's worse. You're married. I'm not. ye, fair enough. But the show came out when I was like seventeen. Let's listen to this is the craziest moment because basically they steal James Remars invite and again, like his identity aregu they're like pretending to be him. Exactly. So that is a piece of information I needed. Yeah, this is where you it all locks So what if you were like, Oh, that makes entirely E lined up. So now take a listen to this is what this is the craziest in my opinion, the craziest scen in the movie because now JCVD is like I am Maxie. I am the American heavyweight champion of the world, and then this happens. Lacky the life of America stands up As me. Ohope, then James Romer walks. Maxie divine. Heavyweight champion of the world. This man is a better fighter than me But as the former heavyweight champion I turn my title over to him. And he's carrying a belt on him. Yes. here's your man Christopher Dubois. Du Bois will be granted a chance to prove that he is a worthy combatant in the first round. This If not, this is the courtesy, Divine shall pay the penalty and never leave the lost city. What What the fuck All right, that's good I'm too on that moment. I go, You know what? that seems like too much pressure. Maxie, you just fight to JK, I will fight. So why does Maxi give up his own title though, just out of out of love Rpect because he'spect he lost. They sort of justify in the next line. he goes, I want to see the American flag flying at the end of this tournament So what he means is he just wants America to win. and America is represented by Joh Claude Van Dam, who is definitively not America and not fighting in an American style. Right Right A ye Yeah. the thing about it is that he what they're not saying is that Remar is like, oh, I didn't know you're allowed to kick in this thing. I'm not gonna be fucked. Iy I normally just box. I wear gloves. I'm fifty. I'm like maybe conservatively forty nine years old. forty nine years old I am the heavyweight champion of the world, but a maximum one seventy five, five eight and no definition really L there is to fair, two have been' twies like Fugilist pull pull the wistband up above your t. I have a lot, June. Okay, sorry, go ahead. Well, my issue was also then we can go to June two like was that the the judge was so loosey goosey. was like Okay, yeah, sure. And then like later on. And then later they changed the rules again. It's like okay. They're constantly changing the rules of this ancient tournament. L this just to make it easier for JCVD to compete and win. I was like I sent all these monks. I taught them English. I taught them how to travel around the world to deliver these scrolls. and now people just wandering into my tournament. And you fuckks from America think you can just like let somebody else fight and you instead will screw you. That would be like the equivalent of in this march madness right now If just like a community college is like, hey, we kind of want to play. I think we're pretty good. We'd love to play in they like All right, getet in here. No It would be like if a community college randomly in one game beat Duke. Duke was like, you know what Put them in the final four. N No, beat them in a game of horse. If we want to give Yeah. Two guys, two street ballers beat Duke in a game of horse. Duke goes to the NCAA and go, I can't do this. them in. Put them in the final four. They're the best game we've ever seen We will st There's good question though. at one point doesn't Jean Claude Van Dam Isn't he conspiring to just steal the golden horse? Right. That's Roger Moore and Jack McG's That's their plan That's their plan isit that he is yes that he's kind of along for the ride. They had trouble with. No, I think he thinks he's gonna to win it. Yes. He thinks he's going to win it legally because that's the prrize So he does I don't know that he does because until James Remar to them also Yes But until like when they get when they are pretending to be James Remar's like valet and whatever Jean Clar van Damp doesn't think he's going to get to fight. No, he's because I thought their plan was to steal Rar's identity so he could win No no, But then Roger More goes when he's busy thinking about fighting Will're going to steal Yeah becausecause I don't think they can steal Maxie's By the way, theyse stealuc him mag. They're trying to steal why giant fucking like it would be equ. I mean, I'm trying to think of how big this dragon is. It's the size of the bl down by the by Wall Street Wallallet Yeah. Yes,' solid gold. Solid gold and oh, we gotta talk about it. We gott to talk about the N blade. Did Germ an ask where they talk about That's how they Well you had a question for June Newich, I know we will get to it. We We're not there yet. Yeah I think it's going to be a real we'll see how it goes. To me, I felt like stealing that That thing was a flawed idea because they're in a lost city with a practically an unmovable undisguisable Like just like get out of town with. And that they have to put on a boat, right? Like that's the only thing that they can get it out of there on. And I don't know how you add three tons of gold to a boat and still get it back to the States or London, wherever you it from? First have to put it on a hor, Th then you'd have to put it on an elephant. then you'd have to put on a h. other than like riding elephant. Well the other n JC did write an elephant to the premiere. By amazing. I have pictures of it and I will put them up. B the way, this is a movie this I think maybe speaks to your PG thirteen problem is where multiple characters refer to their butts and their buns as rumps Like two different characters are like, oh, my rump is sore. And I was like That was to me like a translation issue. Yeah. And that's like what Jacqueslaud Van Damem hated. Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Another great moment is when Now now we're jumping back a little bit, but when he is chained up and the guy and the slaver who enslaved them is going to kill him now because they're arriving at the island. It's like you have a slave that's working for you. You could sell him too. Oh yeah. but instead you're going to him for the next pro. Exactly. but instead you're gonna to kill him. He's handcuffed in a bicep pose. like he's handcuffed in a double bicep pose where it's over the gate and he's just standing there flexing. His arms are huge and he allegedly has no fight training or something like that He's been just a street performer and he's not even a street performer. likeike why wasn't he an acrobat or something that would justify why he's flexible and insanely ripped? Yeah. No, he's a he's a street clown who happens to be well I will say some physical ability to get on this st. I will say this like if shit goes down. I do. If shit goes down, what I am going to do Is I am going to round up as many clowns and acrobats as I can and because those are going to be the best fighters. You know what That's where it is probablyably. My army is an army of clowns. mister Miyagi Top painters and carwaxers have to be the best cr. I was bummed in that opening sequence that they didn't play that out a bit longer. him on still. His clowning? Well, just him fighting on still. Sure I'd like to have se him do more clowninging Well, look, I you're a theater buff. does like D does like legit do like clowning, but I also of but I also wanted to see I mean, it is fascinating these people who walk around on stilts. I mean Wh work. We were talking about a movie in which Well you know they don't do it in real life. They just do it as a performer. No, there're always they' always in their stilts. I like that this is a movie about an ancient fighting tournament where people from all over the world fight each other to death and you're like, it is pretty interesting that people walk on stilts. Yeah I was wow. that's a crazy thing that people did. was very high up When I was a kid, when I was a kid, I hader high I love that. When I was a kid, I had an idea for a restaurant where all the tables were like fifteen feet in the air and all the seats were lifeguard chairs. And all the waiters were on stilts . Don't say that out loud. Now you're just given up that amazing idea. Put it out there. But you just wonder like I mean, I guess you guys aren't that interested in it, but at what point do you get on Stilts? Because it seems to be one of those skills where it's just like you think day you're on You think those people have spent their whole lives being like, I need to be up there. I need to be up there and Stilts is like opportunity. I I think it's similar to being a very small person in this world, a little person, where you're more vulnerable when you're up there Wow. I feel like it's a kid whose dad didn't put him on his shoulders at a parade or something like that. Now he insists to never miss it. No one will ever stand in front of me again. Let me give you a counter argument these stilt fucks want to look down on us. I think they want to be up there looking down on us thinking they're better than us. Th these fucking giant I think honestly, if a performer' on stilts and they see anyone in this room, they look at us and go, God, I wish my career was more in fucking lion. Why am I a stil? I fuck To me, stilts are the old are what hipsters are to people and before us because like people on big bicycles and stuff like that I just want to be seen as different and odd. I I'm wearing stilts. I'm riding a big bicycle with one big wheel, one small. I just want to be weird.'m like, I'm like Iite on a typewriter at the coffee shop. Yeah think's I think there's a performance art for what they do. Well then what then I think it would have been greated that in the last fight would Bring me my stilts Yeah and There was just so much more fun to be had with him on stilts, fighting. and and using his stilts to I mean or seeing him He chopped off of them so quickly. Or doing clowning or some sort of arbitrary scene when he's in Bangkok where he grabs two tent poles and kind of lightes superv stilts. Like notothing of that pays off or like a little kid is crying clown for clown training comes into play. not a good clown I think what we're I think what we're supposed to believe from this movie is that the clown training set him up to be a pretty decent fighter because he like kind of like does parkour to get away from those guys. This is what I and I'm like, this is fucking insane. Why can't we just show him fighting? That is what I think. I think controversially, I think he is not a clown I don't think he has clown training. I think that is the front he uses as a criminal mastermind of a children's gang. I think I'm kind of That why That's why the cops know who he is and that's why the mob knows who he is. They don't know him as the guy who's the clown. They know him as like a thief.ub. No, I would argue that they know him because it's so fucking obvious Oh yeah, we don't like the clown because he's the one always stealing us It's like, you can't blend in. It's arguably because he likeome work for me. discredit the fact though that he did learn how to get on it. Right That's what I was about to say he still skills set regardless. Oh yeah, but I that makes you both right that he. he's doing it under criminal auspices, but he does have the talents. Oh yeah. if he just knew if he just knew that there were stilt fans in the world like you, he could have he would have never had to fight in the to It's one of those classic, you know, it's a classic con man, you know, likeike he has the skills to exist in the real world successfully, but he'd rather use it for crime. Someone edit June into a scene in this movie putting like a thousand dollars into a rich lady from New York in old New York I just come down to watch the poor people on sts. Here's a heypenny. So let's talk about the bar scene that helps set up the main bad guy that who's also the same bad guy from Lionheart. One of my friend looks like Steve Harvey. Yeah Oh the Mongolian Wh said me it was like he looks just like Steve Fyire. He has the worst facial hair known to man because it's the ring. Yes. not the goatee, not the mustache, but when you do a mustache and then a line ofir, it's a second set of hair lips that go around your mouth. And now you are John Claw Van Dem experts, I'll ask you this in Boodport He I believe that the guy he fought was deaf because he was never really he never really spoke. He just kind of like vocalize that if he was going to say something like no words came out. and this guy doesn't really speak. This guy says nothing.. I think this is more about casting based on looks than like oral abilities. So his voice could be like, Hi. Yeah I didn't think. They demonstrate that this guy's a badass by having him knock out Remar in one punch, which I also thinks leads Maxie to go fight in this fucking turn. I think Remar is a. This movie for James Remar's character is a real good place. Yeah. He went back to business school. charac goes to business school at the end of it. Fuckking is the heavyweight champion of the world. Travels to Tibet and gets his ass repeatedly handed Knocked out by a homeless clown and then knocked out by gangasong like hosspl By the way, this bad guy and this serves for a point to talk about some of the direction in this film. The slow Mow is used to knock greatate effect in this because table, right? Like he breaks a table, but they do it in sl moow I think that breaking a table in fast motion is way more engaging. like. It Interesting you say that because I felt that too like when they cut to slow Mo, the fighting looked worse. Oh, it's this is peak editing fighting. R. This is peak, like Bloodsport has it a lot. and you're like, you know, like the Van Damn where he lands one kick, but the editing shows three of the same kicks And this is peak that where it's like it slows down at moments where there is no one is making contact with each other and it's like when he does like the flip backwards and kicks the sand into the guys Yeah Yeah. I'm like daddy's like Physically literally impossible like to Do a flip with your feet from under the sand and get the sand to go Horizontal into someone's eyes, But they show in slow motion and it looks like they cut away at the moment that would be the thing you would want to show. Yeah They just show a guy Getting ready to jump in slow motion, which is not something want sound like the slow moow was all like gearing up. They had to slow moow that fist thing because they shot that slow. I feel like they just go, put your hand on the table, will a pro guy will pull a rope and the whole thing because it shatters. It like and that doesn't shatter even. it crumbles. It like turns to powder. It's so obviously artificial. And it's like everything in this thing, it's like the fight it is It is it seems like when Bloodsport, they didn't use any doubles, right? That was the whole argument and here I feel like they probably used a lot of d. Yeah, I don't think James Remar is takaking a fucking punch some random Mongolian dude. Good question. Why do Roger Moore and Jack McGee want that reporter who we have Oh the rep reporter. Oh come along for this ride. We haven't talked about this yet,. And I think it's because he Roger Moore wants to boner. Right. C I ask question I have a real question Finally, is she? getet. from the news feed, the ticker tape. No I tr. She has She has like a prize possession that she's like, I have everything you need or whatever. And she's holding a piece of paper and we never find out what was on it. I think I know what that is. Oh, I think that is like permission or bankroll from the newspaper from her dad to cover this article, which means the cost of the boat ride and. Okay. I think it's gonna get She's financing this trip. Is that why they're using her? They are using her, I think ' Roger Moore wants to have sex with her because she's beautiful and That is a Jean Claude Van Damn trope, right? that's the first of all a beautiful blond. movies destroy Beckdelell. like Beell. There's only always only one woman and she's a reporter. And in Bloodsport, she's a reporter who has to pretend to be a whore to get into something. Here She's a reporter who is like, you know, she's just again, just wandering Bangkok looking for a story. Yeah the only was't even againgain, like why doesn't she know about this tournament? Why doesn't she like introduce this ide? She has nothing going on And even her and John Clud Vam. They're not even love interest. They are the very last minute where he puts his arm around her. Im like, Oh, they're together? Yeah, No, I don't think so. They seem more together than the New York guy And Roger Moore seems to give up on her as well. Like I would have like they the minute they get to, well, that's the thing is this movie has indndiscriminate plot points all the way up until the last forty five minutes, which are just a man saying the names of two countries. And then those two people fight. Yeah. And that's all this movie needs to be. I listened to all the episodes of He this get made. and when if I wasra I know. I need a job. If I was on the Street fighter episode, I would have said that street fighters should have just been bloodsport Like it should have just been like the video game where all the best characters just fight each other. It's a big tournament that there happens to be a guy named Blanca A. But don't you think that that was the deficit of this movie because there's no breaks in this movie and there's like another fight with no stakes And like when is it going to? because there's no one that could act in between scenes. like Bloodsport they got Ogre that he can like deliver a line at least between That's sort of interesting. This shit has Not U What goes good with Tonic Don't say it. Jin, I told you not to say it. Yeah. And then the horse Yeah and the horse says something. he goes, I'll quiet you That's why Roger Mor believe we were only on the semifinals when we were. I was Oh, I know They've been fight foreverorever. They show every fight. That's the thing. They show show fight but every fight is seven punches. Yes. Well, and here's the thing, you've already been introduced to the fighting styles of each country and then they just mix and match every. Yeah. now it's okay you see the winner. Well we've seen That's all of these people Ckkov sumo wrestler. You see him in the first act fight Yeah. Exactly. But that's that's why you're going to this movie. Like if you're going that's why you saw a blood sport. That's why you liked it At least for me getting you want to watch the fights. I's like, o, Monkeyman versus sumo. Oh, the guy who does Moi Thai versus the guy who is the arbitrarily Arab, you know? Well, I had an issue about the monkey guy or the the snake guy. dude, A are you talking about this movie in this movie it's China. Yeah, China because it goes first of all, the best line in the whole movie to me was He's moving like an animal more like a snake. Yeah, I said that. I kind of said Yeah an animal. And then in ADR in the next sequence, he goes, now he's more of a monkey. Yeah it's like. And then in the third one he goes, Tiger But to me, I said to Gine, I was like, I don't understand the mindset of this guy because it seems like he's also acting like a monkey tiger and snake ne Well after the fact that he's woned And well before. Yeah. beforefore and after. That's part of like to really like because if this is a real fighting tournament that has any kind of semblance of rules, which it doesn't, you'd probably say like, hey, you're not allowed to play the bonges while the Kapaira guy fights. Yeah come on. that's bad gu guys everyone bring your b bonges do it. you guys got backup musicians fuck. Yeah, I would have a fucking guy on an electric guar just like it up and Yeah, I would have Doof wararrior. shoot it and I'd be out there like That's if they had that in blood sport, that's what Jackson would have had. would have had f Lonered sk would have had glass P welcome to the jungle. That's what I would do. No I wouldn't. I would for real just Montel Jordan, this is how we do it. Who is your favorite? All right, no full disclosure. only I can only get up to this game. I would only fight, I will only fight and fuck D Mel Jordan. Who your favorite Who was your favorite of the fighters? Well, to me, I'm gonna go just jump right in and say the Kaapalara guy. Love him was amazing. And I call that like the epcot of fights because it was like everyone was so like so I am my country about the Scottish guys and when the fight at the end and they cut to the audience Yes everyone is in their cliche look like there's a Nazi guy a Nazi helmet on He fighting jack booots and suspenders. Okay I know want to get you That's a perfect segue. June What did you think about what John Claude Van Dam wore to fight Do you have any thoughts on what you was trying to remember?. He's wearing serious. He's wearing loose shorts. loose pants, shorts, sweat shorts, like loose shorts, white socks and workants. He's dressed like two very specific arch types. nineteen eighties bodybuilders and nineteen nineties gays. Gay guys I was like he is dressed like a scrunch sh with all was ganging him like ten, fifteen years ago. I was like And the bandan. I too And the rope banda. JCBD is a beautiful man. Yeah yeah. I think he's a gorgeous man. I're not gonna find anyone to disagree. I thought he looked great in this movie. I thought he looked great in Bloodsporg. wife I'm saying Tiffany like everyone knows who she is. My wife walked in when I was watching this and she goes, is that John Claude Vanam in the sequence on the boat when he has a beard? She's obviously in the beard a dude she goes Shit, he's really hot. I liked him with the beard. He looked good with the beard. He looked very wolverine. He looked a little bit like Hugh Jackman.. also in this era where you've got Seal, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, all these like Dolph Lundren, all these kind of A to C level action stars, he is genuinely leading man handsome R in a way that none of them are. Bloodsport, I was so upset to see him in so many splits. Yeah You want them to keep it's only ruining your lady bon. I just like you might beins for half the movie. I feel like you might be in the minority on that to be honest. I don't I don't want to speak for women, but I think would likemon S splitz?, I think ladies like the splits in the b. Here's the thing, Let's get it out there. How did this get made fans?ike you have an opinion. to find out. Tall us at six hundred one nine Paul PUL ask ASK and you can leave a message when we can talk. Really the question is not like, o, is that cool that he's in or can do split Is to turn on or turn off? Turn on or turn on? Turn on Yeah yeah, like I wantan to see a forum. I'll tell you what really digs in. I'll tell you what a real turn offff is. And I want it to be splits and buns. All right. We'll go guys bring it to the phone line, bring it to the forums The turn off literally was when the kilt man got his balls literally urned That's the That's my turkey. I wound it three times to hear how the guy announced his country because I could not sort it out. And he's not he's not a visible race.ike he's like a short tann dude with long he's like a mini mananzookus and you're. dare you? The fuck dare you? How dare you compare me to the turkey. Be by the way, that turkey's taken up pretty quick The Greek guy does the Greek guy does okay. The Greek guy, by the way, who has got shoulder length blonde hair.onde. This guy is a he's a Venice fromus. from Fuck. And by the way his move of serving people Spanic Copida until they collap is really bizarre. By the way though the one question I did have about Jehan Claire Claude's outfit is This is my problem with him. Being a representative of Mi Thai is like is that what those guys were wearing? No That's what's crazy is that's not what he's worn at all in the movie. No he didn't wear it on the boat. He didn't wear it in New York. He didn't know what it is of though is the street urchins He is just ultimately he's fighting for. Right, but he brought all thatght fought It's weird that he's not in Mi Thie I We's a Mi Thie outfit in fucking blood swarm. We'ars a Muvie Thie outfit in the first round of fights before the lost S And when he when he's fighting in the Muvie Thie fight when he's St owned by the movies Thland guys. So sometometimes when he's just chilling out, he's wearing a nice colored stripe shirt. So it's like a chambre shirt to hang out and look at the Vand Dam's ability to rock a tucked in dress shirt is like unbeknownst to. Every movie features him with a tucked in, you know like the nine nice tuck where you pull it little twenty five pleats. like it's like literally like forty two pleats across When they think great jumpers If it's like one of those like Like one of those fans where like hiss had so many pleats, but when he does a split, it becomes like a big image. Yeah Like it's like a real a planandingbe in a sunset, basically like like MC Hammer. I wanted to just bring up one thought to you guys If it's a fight of the best fighters in the world, can we just say, hey We know that everyone here can kick someone in the balls and disable them. Can we just take that off the table? No ball kicking in the best fights in the world because I feel like that's a cheap move. I think it's a cheap move. I feel like let's fight without the ball hit. I feel like in your seven thousand you know, assuming that's a millennial long tournament. Right that it's got to adapt like UFC was that when it first started, it was like guys could walk in with boxing gloves and shoes on and fight a guy in a full ge. You didn't need any. And then eventually it was like, oh, let's just choke why isn't everyone just being choked to death this fight? It's like, why am I going to stand back and let a guy spin three times k in the head? when I can just hold him by his throat until he says Pte like matete or whatever That's what none of these fights make sense. It's like of course you want to make it good for movies, but everyone is show everyone's style is showmanship like every everyone is doing a pre show for their actual fight and it's also there's also the Russian guy who always walks in and like gets his ass. Oh, he was I thought he was going to be the cool character too I love this guy looks just like a He looks like the worst de to run into in Brighton Beach and he's gonna beat the fuck out of you. I also like the school field trip that was clearly at the show. L at one point they cut to a group of kids like, Hi the Lost city kids like All right, so tomorrow, do your algebra, but tomorrow we go into the big fight.ike Everyone get your permission slips in and grab your little juice boxes didid it Go ahead. One thing that is crazy is the guy That fought on the behalf of Spain. not. He's got a belt on it. He's got a flag on his belt. Yeah. He's fighting for He's like the most Spanish you could be, But that's not the Spanish flag. No, o, I don't know. It was not the Spanish flag becausecause I remember the Spanish flag was yellow. and I was like, this guys got a different flag on. I looked it up. He's wearing an Albanian flag because the actor is from Albania. that just made it all the way through to the wal cut. He's like he's also wearing like slacks. Yeahike he's not wearing There's three guys fighting in dress pants and dress shoes and like jazz. they were like waiters a minute ago serving someone drink and they're like, oh shit, I'm sorry. I' from Sam. I have to represent my country right now in a fight to the death. And everything is a country The continent is the one black dude It's like Africa. And he's like he's like literally like a foodoo priest like please. And he also has drums. Yeah he's the other guy that has a backing. The two black guys have music it's a movie is like impossibly racist. The one thing I want to talk about and it will not ring true to anybody But me because I love this movie so much, but the stealing of the dragon at the end with the Nazi blimp is almost shot for shot identical to the Superman two breakout of Lex Luther and Ned Baty. Like they're in a blimp. like Jack McGee can't get on the ladder. He gets on the ladder, he falls off the f. And then Lex Luther is like, seeee you later, I'm leaving It's E the same exact scene and the plan is so terrible. Let's steal a blimp., hoist this thing and a blimp is not gonna to be able to lift. And by the way, you're in a lost city. You got to go You have to go far. Oh, you stole a Nazi blimp. thoseose guysgiving. by the way nineteen like twenty six, they're just getting up and running. But also that Any nationality, this movie takes place. It's a global movie. You can leave the Nazis out of theike why does it have to be Nazis? This movie wasn't made in the nineties Indiana Jones are the same. I would have loved it if Indiana Jones had entered this movie. But at least in Indiana Jones, they're bad guys. Yeah in this movie, you're like, they' just kind of weird thing about Roger Moore and Jackie McGee though, why at this point did they not Sink Van Dam could win. Yeah.. Wh steal it at this point Y Right? Why don't we wait and see? there's a slight chance we get it for real. Are we so are we to believe that every year this tournament happens and every year there's a golden horse? That goes I think it's a dragon. I'm so sorry. But yes you can, you can ride. Okay And firstirst of all, this' like one hundred percent. I know you fell asleep, quote unquote. Butind home with the winner every year. Well m When June wants to take your kid for a horse ride, sure Yeah, I'm very aware of. But wait, June brings up a very valid point. Does that mean that There's been hundreds of years in this tournament. There's hundreds of giant golden Dragons or does that guy win? They don't seem to give away the gold. I think the Glden Dragon is just like a fl No they make a deal. They make a deal so that they don't kill Roger Moore and Jack McGee. Oh, that was theal. Vand Dam says you can keep the Glden Dragon. If I win, you have to set us all free. But I think Gengis Khan The local Mongolian. Yeah. he's like the house champion. it feels like And it feels like really That's what it feels like city. Yeah, he's from the like he's the lost city's representative, evenven though he's dressed exactly like a barbarian from a video game. Yeah. That's what these movies are Vide games come to life. That's why And that's why they have to do their little dance or something becauseuse that's like there totally.cept Yeah. L Chun Lee's like takes the picture or whatever, you know. All that shit is soite fun. By the way, a great moment in this movie when they do take a picture with an old nineteen twenties camera, a great moment to just have a still and make a black and white But color picture.ike it just like a small choice could have made and frozen in time. No color. color Clearly, we had an opinion about this movie, but there's some people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions So so people die All right, Th these are five star reviews called from Amazon. There are not many Second opinions on this film. There're not many five star reviews, but there are two that are worth it. And here we go This is from Ox Biglely And he writes, sounds like a bully from. I know he really does. Sig' after me. little rascals or something. I first saw this on Spanish TV and I was so aggravated I couldn't understand what was being said. But then I went to my video store and I rented it Fantastic film Although I do admit the plot could use a little work, but still an awesome movie. If you wantna see how they should have done the Mortal Kombat film, get this DVD wayay better than the Street fighter, then again, I'm sure the Barney movie was better than that. Five stars. Wow. The Barney movie. Now this is a shot in that one for the first time ever We have a someone who's done a second opinion on another movie coming to do a second opinion on this movie. And this is the man. his name is Jason Vine And he has created the John Claude Van Dam review Matrix. We did this in the Bloodsport episode. So we will see how this stacks up. He's done this for Lionheart double impact, Kickbox or universal Soldier, nowhere to runun hard target, Time cop and pretty much every one of them. But here we go for bloods for the questest Who is he? Christopher Dubois whose story is too complicated for a one sentence breakdown. Which family or friend must be avenged? No avenging needed. He's got kids to feat Does he take his shirt off? The closest he gets is a tank top version of a thong Wh which true as' a ghost shirtlistt Does he have sex with a C list actress? No sex. All business Is there tournament? Oh yes, there is. is training needed. abbsolutely. And all the training takes place amidst the sweltering squalor of a Bangkok Muvie Thai fighting world, but we don't see it We don't see itZ saying no there is training, but we don't see it. It's all off camera. Does he do splits in the training or in the tournament? No. It probably doesn't count, but after a vicious spin kick in the final battle, JCVD stretches a little to in slow moo. And it's not really a spit shot, but he's saying it's kind of a spit shot. No, it's not I wish it was. No, it's no split. was Does he punch someone in the balls He delivers the reversed heel to the twins. It patented by Rick Flair. So he considers that a punch, but it's a kid. O people get balls. So does he do a series of flying or three hundred and sixty kicks in Somo I guess he does. So is his enemy unbeatable? After beating every previous opponent with little more than a stiff jab, the final enemy for JCVD is a Mongolian beast, part Chong Lee from Bloodsport and part Atila from Lionheart, actually the same actor who plays. And does he overcome injury or any other hindrance? A rarity for JCVD, the entire tournament is on the level. Nhing goes wrong Does he win? Not only does he win, but he delivers what is probably his best overall fight scene in his career. What? I don't think so. That's not true. Part of the fight is in a room that we are noted we are not. did truly like that moment. I thought it was just a change of pace that that fight. Also, they had to go outside at that point because someone JCBD who's directing it must have been like, you know, every sixty minutes of this movie have been in this dark fucking warehouse Why don't we spill out into the street? And then the fight, it's just one of those situations where it wraps up so fast. You can never live up to the height. Well it also just appears. the whole fight appears like for John Llvin damn who is all about kicking, it really is all about punching in this movie. He just is repeatedly punching the guy in the face. Yes, punch punch punch,unch,unch,unch And it's not very exciting. Well, my favorite part of it is that they're fighting inside this house and the house is like a long, like a tractor house like almost like a trailer and they move Like the audience of the fight moves from left to right as they're going through the house, but the house is fully like covered. Yeah. So they can't see. So just by like, I guess grunts, they're moving like they It's like as if if they could see it, they would move along, but they're just like, I guess he's over at this point. It reminds me of in Fargo season one when Billy Bob goes into the building. Oh yeah, and you see it ye. Yeah, and you just kind of track it They ripped off the quest. I'll say Noah Holly ripping off the quest once again. Cool man. So then the fight ends to no celebration at all. No actuallyually there's a somber mood. Yeah. it's like crd. I think it's because all the people in the crowd are losers. They're previous people who lost the fight Why are they sticking around? Who cares who wins at this point? Like when they cut to the crowd and it is the two Scottish guys, I'm like, why are they still here? And they don't have a fucking a leg they don't give a fuck which one of these guys will go home And then start you journey home. It's likeason journey Conservative. By the time they get home, by the time they get home, they have to start the trip back to go to the next's There's a monkey waing with the Oh you got Hey, you're one of the best. Let's play what I think is probably the best writing in the entire movie The wrap up. All right, so now they're going to go home. Here is JCVD's final voiceover didn't get the golden Dragon. But I returned to New York like I promised Cut the kids off the streets. In the end, we all did just fine. How did he do that th? Maxie trained many great fighters and became a big celebrity Last I heard Dubbs and Harry open a trading post deep in the Amazon Like, that's not John Cl. their soul. his old ne. And then you reveal that he's reading a book backwards because he closes the book on the first chapter. It really doesn't make sense though. it was written by the female reporter in his voice. Y So the entire movie is a story being told by the female reporter first person as the character that John Clude Van Dam is playing. That's not that's not even why why don't they show him go back to the kids? What? They just did They just did just fine. They didn't do great. They didn't have an amazing life. No way nine you leave for nine months and a group of street kids are they've managed to make it with L of those kids are dead. one hundred. Well, here's by. Here's the thing is coming back with no money. Right? That's what I'm saying. He comes back and he just has confidence from running the fin gets off the street. Well, maybe he sold that golden neck. And by the way, there's more street kids Like he doesn't eradicate like street urchure. Yeah. He didn't end homelessness that. He's like I won the fight. And then no kid was ever without the home I want to say, I don't know what you're about to start go I. This movie has I read the IMDB trivia for every movie I've ever seen. This movie has the best IMDB trivia. I have some here some notes. tell you some from recall that I remember reading, not even and I read it again today, but there's some I remember from when I was. let me throw some at you and you tell me if I miss any The original director of this movie are the one that JCVD wanted Any guesses? I mean you know. I know the answer. I'm not understand. Any guesses? Oliver Stone. Amazing. The IMTB trivia says JCVD asked Oliver Stone to direct this and he play declined This is probably my well, there's two. I'm going gonna read my second favorite. I think I know which ones you're gonna read. Yeah The one well, the Jack Mcke one. Yesactly We'll get one. This one is Tata O'Neill claims in her autobiography that she was offered the female lead first, but things fell apart after a romance with her and JCVD failed Whoa So. And before you read the Jack McGee one, I just want to say in the IMDB tribit there's four