Finding Peace at the Beach

Hello everyone. It's John here, just letting you know that I have written a book It's called Thirst, twelve drinks that Change My life. and it's out now. In many episodes of How Do you Cope You'll have heard me talk about my relationship with alcohol, and in writing Thirst, I wanted to explore what alcohol means. Why did it mean more to me than other people Why did it mean some things felt better? and why did it mean so many things went wrong I also talk about lots of other things you'll have heard me and my guests discuss on how do you cope? Meditation, physical pain, gratitude, trauma, and therapy There's even a chapter about my bum and its relationship with Buddhism. So if that piques your interest Thirst is out now, and the audiob book, read by me, is available wherever you get audiobooks from How does a surgeon harm patients and not face prison Underneath S. Helena's volcanic lush scenery is a shocking, ongoing scandal. They did the damage to him. make our life harder than it used to be A surgeon came to help devastation behind I'm Luke Jones. After the Pitcen trials, I headed to a different isolated community to investigate. Listen to the surgeon of S. Helena Welcome to the Gratitude list, where I'mlighted to say that I'm still joined by Susie Ruffel and Susie, Gratitude hit me. Is it in your life? Yeah, in a big way.. I like doing. I like doing a bit of gratitude. I was thinking about this on my way in this morning, I was thinking Or maybe I'll start with what I'm grateful for today Uhuh. Yeah. Is that is that good? Yeah Um I did overnight eightights last night Okay I'm in new territory. I've never done overnight Y. Oh, you gott to get on the ch jump. I've done undercooked black beans this week where I followed the instructions on the packet of black beans They need more than forty five mins at a boil. Sure. Very crunchy ragu. Oh Tell me about your overnight oats. So simple I get jam jar that's empty I fed it up Between half and three quarters, Ipe don't on how hungry I think I might be I then pop in some raisins I then put in some chair seeds. Oh yeah Then I might pop in some flax seeds. Right then I'm going to be squeezing some honey in And then I'm giving a good outshake Oh, I'm filling her up to the top with milk or just just so that everything's covered. No left and then giving her a good old shake She sleeps in the fridge Yum. He sleeps in the fridge sounds like a mafia threat So what? My concern is Yesterday, John was very keen on the idea of having outats for breakfast. Yeah Today, John He wants eggs. Sure. but I want savourory So you're make up excited. How long do overnight oats stay for Do you know what I always want them so much, I've never found out I think you should try over night Dang mean I do have the time I went to bed at ten to eight last night Did you? Why are you so tired at the moment, do you think? Doing a lot of running, but also it's How far are you running And did twenty K on Sunday And this is a new thing Yeah, and this thing ends on april the twenty ninth and then never happens ever again. Oh it is the marathon? Yeah Okay because my body is consistently proving that it is not designed for this. Right, okay. But we'll get there together mind and body somehow. Sure. We'll have a right bust up along the way, I would imagine. Who are you doing it for? You're doing it for a charity? Yeah, standing together against domestic abuse. Oh, great, that's really and, you know, It's quite useful for me to remind myself of that I'm not doing this for brand John the running brand. No elite runners because that doesn't exist because I' member I'm a civilian. Yes doing this for charity. I don't have to win the London marathon Yeah. And I think probably good to to know you're probably not going to. Yeah, it'd be nice to get on the podium. Sure Yeah, top or top ten. Yeah U againg, not something that you And I think if it doesn't happen on the day, don't let it ruin it for you. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I mean, I'm currently at the stage where I'm Googling, canan you take iuprofen during a marathon? the thinking is not. Right But overnight oats could feature as my pre marathon snack. Oh, do you know what I think it'd be very good pre running. Jckon. Because they're you you full up for longer. goodood fuel. But also I'm not going to sleep potato I sit in bed doing crosswords reading Danny Champion of the Wor A? Yeah, that would be in my gratude list right now, but also my sort of slightly depressing list I do a crossword in between in the interval of my show. Do you? Yeah, That's a nice way to just like not do anything else. Let your head go somewhere else. Yeah Yeah. say I do both halves and then at the interval Sorry when I said I do both halves, that's a very in thing to say I do forty five in the first half and then forty five minutes in the second half So it's just me and my tour manager, who I love He's a great guy I have a cup of tea sometometimes a little bit of chocolate Yeah Just a little sugar kick and then a crossword what would be the second thing on your gratitude list Second thing on my gratitude list is my dog we briefly thought my dog was really ill at the beginning of the week and she's now we now just think she pulled a muscle Oh, Is she training for the marathon as well? Yeah, ye She's a dog would nail the London Maratha. She's also a whippet Wow. But you know what? She doesn't have the stamina John Robins. Which came first Whippet or child child And then you decided to go whip for her dog as well. Well, yeah, because she we had a cat that we all loved that died And I say we all loved. mee and my daughter loved it My wife found her F at a push And u the cap The cat was there before the wife Yes. The cat Not that cananon. Me and the cat were then Best buds. Yeah Velma, the cat was not was then not so keen on sharing my bed with someone and used to bite Alice's feet as she s And so you know they never had a great to relation but died all very sad and then And then it became, when we kept seeing whippets was telling us to get a whippet and it was because now we have Tigi and she has brought unbievableount joy our life describe The joy criteria. I'm not a dog person. I'm team Velmmer How is the dog enriching your life? Well, let me tell you first of all, I would say a whippet would be a gateway dog for you because they are dog They're cat dogs. They freak me out because they look like they're starving to death. Yeah, I know what you mean, but you do just get used to that and I grew up in the nineties as a woman, so it' app normal to me to see you Rribs. I Um so she she's she's she lik to snuggle like a cat does. She like she gets in like a little I sort of snuggles around herself in a little ring. She's always thrilled to see me. Al just so thrilled when I walk through the door. Oh my Godd, it's you, it's you. I thought it might be and it is you. Oh God, it's you. And so that's really nice. Someone did say to me something they really enjoyed about being a dad was that you suddenly become a celebrity It's like it's like your kid is meeting their hero every time you come home. Well, this is what my Tour show is about. It's about the fact that my daughter has the highest opinion of me. anyone's ever had? Yeah. and that I know it's not forever And so the show is about me trying to be the person she thinks I am U trying to be bra and as great as she thinks Um, but I the dog is just always thrilled to see you. She encourages me to go out on my big long walks. Yes, good point. She's good for that She's like really friendly with everyone in the street and that's really lovely and she's just got a nice face and a nice soul and is good She's good in h Yeah. And how many people can you say that about? Yeah, I don't I mean, there are dangerous dogs. I don't think I We're not an exXL bully. No But I've never seen a dog and think that dog looks evil. I've just sort of seen them think that dog looks thick Yeah can be a you know, very relaxing thing to be around A thick person? Yeah. Ga. What would be number three Number three on my gratitude list I mean, it's a bit of a I mean also these aren't in order Is That's all right? Okay, because I don't want people to think I'm putting my wife after overnight os The older I've got, the more I have realized that Um I mean, being in it H the person that you like to spend your life with and the people you decide to spend your life around, so whether that be your partner or your mates It's sort of it's more important than your job. It's more important than the way you live It is it It just changes your life And so I feel very grateful for my marriage and I often feel very grateful for my marriage. I have a really great wife. That's such a nice I mean, especially like if I'd based my views of marriage on the first ten years of watching stand upp It would have been like, Everyone hates their partners. Yeah and they are complaining about them for a living. Yeah. I mean yeah, we yeah. And then just sort of desperate for someone to go I really like my wife. Yeah. I remember being at the comedy store one night and seeing three of the four straight men on the bell, straight white men on the bell do a bit about how much annoy them their wives like candles And it was so clear none of them had watched each other set. I remember thinking, Gosh, you really hate that your wife wants the house to smell nice. Such a weird thing to hate Um, but yeah, I think, um, I also think because as you sort of know from the book And you know, I don't want people to have listened to the first part of the podcast and then listened to this and be like, o my go, why will she stop bang on about being gay? But I think that's an internalized homophobia that I'm already worrying that people that I don't know will not like part of the podcast because I' once again referencing my gainess, which I can't control. Anyway, what I am saying is I think that there was a period where I thought I would never deserve kind of love like this. and now I have it, it's really nice. But also I could say exactly what you've just said if I was in a relationship that I was really happy in. No one would go guys. So he's talking about being straight? No, no, but that's the thing. Yeah How does a surgeon harm patients and not face prison Underneath Staint Helena's volcanic lush scenery is a shocking, ongoing scandal. They did the damage to him makeake our life harder than it used to be A surgeon came to help devastation behind I'm Luke Jones. After the Pitcn trials, I headed to a different isolated community to investigate. Listen to the sururgeon of S. Helena So we've got oats, whip it wife What's number for? Well, can we have wife is and family? Be w wife and daughter. Wife slash daughter, yeah. Because it's my family and they are my everything and she is wonderful. and she's And she now says really funny stuff like What you know about face And I'm like not loads tell me everything. From my friends who've had kids, the glory years are like sort of five to nine where they're saying these amazing things It' really funny. Really just in completely in love with you. It we were H One of her grandparents has some like fake teeth And so I had false teeth and she was really fascinated by the whole thing and then A couple of days later, she and I walkking around the supermarket and she was like, So what do you do with false teeth? Like when do you have them? What do you what's so was just, and I said to her, Can we I just need to finish the shopping And we'll chat this later. She was like, yeah, kind of a problem. S to something yees as you do with kids. and You know, I was like reading a list and she was holding things to me,, we talk about this a bit. An, then that evening, we're sitting having dinner And my wife was not involved in that other conversation and the three of us are having dinner And my daughter put down her knife and her fork and went is now a good time to talk about fake teeth. Out of context, it was just so beautiful, and joyous. So yeah, that's that's great. Other things on my on my list would be neckerchiefs Oh Okay. Re really just jazz up an outfit and surprisingly good at keepeing you warm in winter. Just sort of blocking up that that through draft. around the neck. Also very good for a woman with a white tee because it's going to stop you getting your makeup never thought of that. Well, why would you and your final thing My final thing is the beach Okay. Oh, you live near a beach now, don't you? Yeah I live in Brien . not the world's most comfortable beach N no no, no, no no no no and It's a sort of like and listen, I've been to other beaches. It's a suffering beach Which is exactly what we should be doing which is the true British way. Yeah, it's like when someone tells you about a thing they do wellness that's like a cold shower or a rakeky mountain and you're like Yeah So you've got like a cuddle. Could we have a warm shower and a sort of duvet? For those who haven't been to Brighton, it's very stone heavy. It's very stone heavy. Listen, it's not the best beach m and I've been to a lot of a lot of much nicer beaches, sure. It's the proximity to the beach. I feel enormously grateful. that I I can walk there in half an hour or I can in the car, the drive's like less than ten minutes and I Ryan Beautiful weather, whatever it is I love looking out at the sea. I feel so lucky that I live so close to it and just standing there and being and just witnessing, witnessing life go by, seeing other people living their lives, just grabbing a coffee, the fact that I'm lucky enough to you know, just be able to go and get a coffee and that my body is moving and that I've got You know, that I live in a place that I love and I've got a job that I love And, you know, through all the And obviously I've got a wonderful family. And of all those highs and lows and their anxiety. I find that good days, bad days in front of the say It just gets better I was thinking this yesterday I went for a walk in the woods on a search for bluebells. Andony