Mid-Career Training and Future Plans

Hello and welcome to another episode of How Very Hannah. I am Hannah and this is a podcast. Enjoy Once upon a time there was a stagey girl with a big dream. She hoped, dreamed and prayed to work at TEesco. Wait, someone's written this script wrong Comeing our red do. I dreamed a dream that one day I would hit the stage. And so it seems that dream has come true. W. Oh my goh you guys it's really happening. My life has been changed for the better and of season the day and spinning into the spotlight. Herry Say, It's giving queen. Her Ging! getet out my scene. It's beginner C. The stage is set for me He How very Hada. How very Hada How Berry Hannah, That's the name for my podcast show and J Franfos so How Berry Hannah. Wh's the lightes? How Berry Hannah? That's it right. Howerry Hannah! How's al right. How Berry Hanah No key change. Okay, it's my podcast show Let's goy Yes, I am back with another guest episode. Today I'm sitting down with Tosh Winogo Maude. He is currently alternate lola in Kinky Boots at the Coliseum. so we are getting into all things being an alternate, his incredible careoreer musical theatre and lots of very amazing golden nuggets of advice that I'm literally like, I'm taking that, I'm banking that and I'm writing in my notepad So I hope you guys really, really enjoy it and let's get into it. Please welcome to the pod. Tosh Banogo more My friend Yes. Welcome to Hal Verry Hather. Thanks for having me, Bob. What an honour to have you here. We were actually just saying like We're just industry like mutuals. Yes. We've never fully properly met. No, I think that happens a lot E Everyone just Everyone knows everyone. Remember that. Everyone knows everyone. So watch what you say. So watch what you say and what you doing. And what you do? We're always watching. Yeah. so yeah, I think we have, we've met in passing. It's so nice to actually sit down and have a little chitat. Have a little chit chat. Yeah. So you're currently alternate lola in Kinky Boot. the Conuseum. How long is that on for now? It's on until the last performance is july the eleventh My last performance is july sixth So it's happening really quickly. Yes. It's happening really quick. So how long have you been involved in the production? So I did the international tour That's a lie wasn't the international tour at all. That's a lie. It was the European tour that I did. And so we were there. We were away for about, I think it ended up being about four months. And then we came back and then now we're doing thisunt this stint in London. So yeah, so it end up being about eight, nine months I've been doing it. Is it really nice being in London now after being on tour? It is because also I was never a part of The West End cast, I was always kind of contracted to do the European leg of it and I was really happy with thatola As Lola. So I played the role in the European leg. And I thought that was going to be my lot and I was really happy with that because I thought Kinky Boots was going to be the one that I just didn't get to do. as the last show on my list that I really wanted to do and I thought, it might just not happen. So when the European lg came up and I got the opportunity to, I was like, o that's great. And so then when I was asked to alternate U in London, that just felt like the cherry on top felt like such a nice kind of like way to wrap it all up. Full circle. Yeah. I can't this is the last show on your list. What other shows are on this list? Well, when I was a kid lion King. And you did it And I did it. Young Simba. Yeah, loved that for me. Come on research. Yeah. And then when I watched Dream Girls the movie, I knew there'd been one it'd already been done on Broadway But when I watched Dream Girls the movie, I was like, o I'd really love, I'd really love to do that if it ever comes to to London and then you did it. I managed to do it. And then niturally yeah the last one was was Oh my gosh, now you can retire. now I can retire. B. I mean, you've done so many incredible jobs between that like obviously lion King dream Girl. Yes. What are like some other highlights for you? I loved the Drifter's Girl. Yeah. Yeah we did. I loved that becausecause we were so hands on with the creative process. I mean, World preremiere, right? Yes, yeah, first ever come up. And it meant that I got to work with my very, very good friends, Michael Harrison, like he produced it and he's wonderful and he's just such such a wonderful producer So I just loved doing that and being reunited with Bev and my best friend Matt, Bev and First name basis. Yeah, like Fily night for anyone. It was Bev. Just Bev. My Bev. So it was really it was really nice to like reunite with all my friends and just have a good time. Did you say Mat Matt Henry? Matt Henry.. And so he was OG Lola He was Oji Lola. Less won the Olivier for it as well. And who'd have thought that like when you were doing Drifters Guards together that you would also go on to roola? Well, we actually we actually U didid lyion King together? Oh my go. When I was young Zimba, How old were you when you did that? Eight. Wow. West End debut. Yes. No actually it wasn't my West End deb. Okay. Whistle Down the Wind was my West endnd debut. Oh my gosh, at what age? I believe I believe I was like seven and a bit S I was the baby baby baby. What the was that at? The Aldwitch. Oh my go. Yeah. So that's why I started and went to Lanking from there. Yeah. Yeah, it's always just so nice being able to reunite with people that you've known for such a long time. I mean says a bit how old I am, but ex So who did Matt Henry play when you were in lifeine? he covering Simbber, I believe. B And we went on quite a few times together. So and then it was really it was just hilarious. Th then when we did Drifter's Girl together, having to play each other's We played partners. there was a gay love story involved in Difters and he played my partner, which was really Hilarious. And when we had to kiss, we were like Right. And that was that was a moment. Sorry, you know how you just went right. I did that this's an industry thing like we just do it. I don't know who started it? I want to know who did start that? I think it was Jemma Collins and then I think it was Rob Madge. I think Rob Madge took Gemmacollins in and was going all the time. Yeah, they did. then Everyone now just does it Yeah. I think we need to give Rob credit for that Yeah. And anytime I do it in front of any of the team, they're like, what is that? And I was like, it's just the thing. It's just the thing. It's like It's really. And then you get rid of it o and it's just like, I you can just it works for anything. It works for absolute right. rightight It's my favorite thing. It's like an initiation into the industry. It is. It actually is right we say it every day. this is wor. No things come up every day that warn't at right. No And it just you know exactly what everyone is thinking when you do that. Yeah. Yeah And even on stage, like in quiet moments, I'm not gonna lie. Oh, I'm the worst In quiet moments where your mic's not on and you're just yapping Talking about what you've had for dinner. Oh heaho, I'm the worst for that. I love an on stage lle. It's my favorite thing. I just love an on stage lle. Yeah, same. Like just silliness on stage as long as you're like doing the job and the audience their experience is not going to be affected by what you're doing. I love a little naughtiness on stage. Yeah, same You've got to do it. Yeah, I love it. When you're doing the same show every day, you have to find little moments. You do. There's absolutely nothing better for me then somethingomething happening where you absolutely cannot laugh It is my favorite thing. shoulder shrugs turn to face the b. I've an upstage shoulder shrug and I am Kode. I'm kaoded. if you look upstage and I see It's a rap for me. It's a rap. because also what I'll do is I'll peek around the corner. to get your eyeeline. As soon as you look up, I'm like, No, I can see. you're laughing. It's my favorite thing. What's your your favourite memory of like an on stage memory like that? You you know what? Book of Mormon U Original UK. Yes Cast. OG cast That show, when I tell you my ribs would be on fire. with the amount that we'd be laughing on that stage, like just through sheer foolishness that was happening. There was one time there there's a moment in the show called Spooky Mormon Helldream. Oh yeah with the cbits. Yeah with the and spoil. someome of the costumes have these big like curly on them And we all come from stage right and we're like We've got these like pitch forks and we're running on stage and some of us are carrying people on our backs, right H And one day, we were We were coming on and my friend Tarrel had someone on his back And he's shaking this pitchfk and he steps on his on the front of this shoe. Yeah. He launches across the stage, lands on his stomach, slides from one stage side of the stage to the other takes out everyone as he goes and one of the girls Olivia, her pitchfork, flies into the audience and all we heard was And when I tell you there were no vocals happening, not not a backing vocal was happening. Everyone was just killing But then I think was the Owour? Was that an audience member? Yes, being taken out by the pitchfall? No. Yes. And we had to we had to apologise the show because she got taken out. She got to go. It was pure chaos. That show was chaos Ti Tchniqu I was a minillute laugh a minute. I feel like tiany like that's what's meant to happen in tightany. like the corpse sitting and silliness. Oh, there was so many times in that show where I would be gone would I would be absolutely gone. And it I love that stuff. I just love when you can just be joyous and I love that moment where shows like that, particularly Titaniic where There's less of a gap between the audience and the performers. Yeah. It's so nice when you can experience that laughter with the audience. you're having to you're not having to put distance between you. It's not an inside joke? No, it's like a shared joke. Yes. and that's so lovely when you can do that. That's why people come back to shows like that Be like they feel like they're part of it. They are. Yeah, one hundred percent and think I think audiences like to feel like they have seen something unique to their experience. So when they come and see a show like Titaniqu, because there's so much scope it to be slightly different. They get such a unique experience for them every time, which makes that show so fresh. I think that's why it's doing so well out. Yeah. I think my only experience of a show like that would be six where like are you are interacting with the audience. It's more like a concert vibe. But what I found in that because we're wearing inn is it felt quite We felt quite disconnected to the audience because we couldn't hear them. I get that. We can only hear what's obviously coming through the mic. Yes. We couldn't hear even each other if we were off mic going e. Yeah L we couldn't hear that. Yeah we' still do it but you know, because unless you're on the mic, you can't you can't hearar. D you find it weird working with inars? I didn't like it. Yeah, I don't. I didn't like it. I think like, you know, f Iing the one off song at the Royal Aour Hores and I'd be like Grag, G give me a minute.'s like stunning, but like a ninety minute show I don't know, it just feels like you're in it's like you've got like astronaut suit on and you're in one of these like head bubble things. What's it called? I don't know. A bubble thing. Oh yeah. What is a helmet? No? A helmet. That'll do it Just a simple helmet. You've got one of those like bubble things, you know, on your head. Yeah hel, a helmet right. It felt like that. Yeah. you were just like underwater or something. Yeah I didn't have it. With Inars. I remember when we with Drifters actually when we performed at the Oliviers, we had Inars and there was a moment I would never forget it It started and there was something different playing in my ear. What was playing? It was something else. It was not what I needed when it was the live part. Was it just like the flutees so l I could hear backstage. I was like, o Godd, oh Godd, oh Godd, oh God, oh God, what's happening? And I remember there was a moment as we turned round having to like take the in ear out so that I could hear the other boys singing so like even then, like it's you're in such a big it's huge. you know, the Royal Ab at home, Im guessing?s massive and like As soon you take one out, you then your lost. behind your loss. Yeah' loss. I went to I mean, not stage talk I went to the summerime Ball and Loli Young was performing. Yeah. and she was having issues with her ear ears and she took them out and she was singing, but it was like, I'm too I'm too messy, messy and it was like, o, she was trying her best and like You know that pain of when something goes wrong. When you get that kind of like Se hand Fear for someone when it's happening. It's like squeaky When it's yeah, bum so tight What I hate that right. I hate that. I hate. because you want to be able to do something about it and you can't And But then at the same time, you're like, I'm so glad that that's not me I know that's bad, but you do because you're sweating and your palms are sweating and you're like, that's awful. Yeah I actually remember this is the tea. I remember Becauseuse you know how sometimes the sound at Wes En Live is very different to what we expect in our regular theaters and they told us we weren't allowed our in ears. So we're used to performing with in ears. Yes. but they were like, we can't have ears at Western Live. We were. We weren't going Okay We get to SN live. Gessy's got in ears. Mama Mia. I think out of all shows that need innars, I fear Mama Mia's not one of them. Yeah, so what's going there then? what's happen They Stevie and Toby, I think it was Stevie and Tobias, they had innars And I was like, how have you managed to get inars? Right When we can't even get inars and we do the show every night with with innars. We're doing it twice a is is That's strange. I wonder why you ever performed at Western Lland. I have. I did drrifters there I did Tight technique And there was one more I think I did there Showboat I did showboat there. The concert was that? No that was showboat when it was at it was the Gillian Lynn. Which is now what the New London is it called now? Oh was it changed now? it it or was it the other way around? Was it I think it's the Gillian Lin? It the G Jilliann now, right? Yeah. So yeah, I did I did I've performed at Wester En Live quite a few times. Are you doing it this year U I don't think we are. Oh No, we're not either. But I don' know. I've never performed there. Have you know? I don know. I've always like presented host here. We did like a podcast backstage. I've never performed there. And everyone scares me. Everyone's like, o like it's know? I don't think it's scary. I think the one great here's the thing, anyone coming to watch Westnd Live is there to support all those shows. So I think from from the beginning If you have an entire crowd that are there to support the arts and are there supporting theatre, that can't be scary. They're there to have a good time I think what can sometimes be is the technicalities of the day. like, you know, the sound is Western Live is a very particular sound. I think if you are singing in the roof Western Live can be It can be tough. Yeah. That is a massive the heat. And the heat. it's a massive open space. Two shows after. Yeah. What I would say is I think that the sound team doing great work. Yeah, a hundred percent. withithin the fact that that is such a massive thing to be trying to So different So different there. Singing outside in general it's just so different Yeah. I've done a few concerts and stuff and gigs outside and it's just a completely different katle of fish when you're outside. so Don't be scared of it No. I hope you get to do it becausecause it is. Hopefully at some point we' not doing this year. Okay So we'll see. I feel like it's yeah, I might just turn up and be like fancier song. Fan s No actually canan imagine Do like right? R? Just do it anyway. Hell that was here. someone called security. Yeah, I might just turn up at St stage and see what happens. Just do it. L I think I think honestly, I think you'll love it ' good. So take me back. You did Westtern shows when you were younger. Y. and then you trained at Bird College. I did. What's like one piece of advice or one lesson that you learn at Bird College that you still carry with you today. You're in competition with no one but yourself. Adding that to my list of phrases. Yeah. I've got this thing where I'm like, Ah, this is a famous quote that I once said and it's not my quote, but I'm going to add that. Generally the industry can feel like you are always being compared. rightight? Because an audition process quite literally sometimes is being compared to your counterpart and whoever else is auditioning. However, I think the moment that you look to the left or to the right of you to see what's going on with other people you lose sight. on what you bring to the table. No one can do you better than you do it. Yeah. There's always going to be someone that's the best version of them. but I think you have to be so proud and celebrate what it is that you do. So yeah, I think I think you're in competition with no one but yourself and there's enough space for everyone Yeah. Sometimes you know the industry can feel like there's not enough slices of the pie for everyone, but there really is. And also the more that you can help Your fellow former do it. Mhm, Do that. If you can be the person that can help someone else on their journey, I guarantee you that your journey will be so much more successful if you can reach down and lift people up or if you can reach to the side and bring them along, do that. That's amazing advice. I think that's. I feel like everyone needs to hear that right now because yeah, the industry is, you're right. it's very It's seen in a way that that is competitive and that's like Everyone thinks it's like this cattyes place where, you know, everyone's against each other and everyone's fighting for the top spot and stuff like that. But it's actually not like that. I don't think it is. I think you know, so many like gorgeous friendships and like ennergies like that come from this industry and they need to keep like celebrating that side of it. Yeah, and you can exist in your own little special U shaped bubble in the industry that you take up that space and I think The more performers and entertainers help each other Just the better the industry looks. Yeah. It's just a much friendlier place. I think amazing things happen when everyone collaborates. It's kind of like I think that's what art's supposed to be. Yeah. Lots of different people from different walks of life collaborating to create this beautiful thing that we call the industry. I think anything less than that is boring We know. So Get as I say Hotline The phone's ringing quick. get it. Hello Hi guys wondering. Proros and cons are of being an alternate.. You can pop it down if you want and then we can get back to you later. get back to Pros and cons. Well actually, what is funny is when I got the job I'm doing now, I wrote a list of pros and cons because sometimes when you audition something you're like anything I can get like I'm just desperate to do it I'm desperate to do this show. I do it for free. I remember saying that like when I got Heathers, like that was my first big job. I was like I don't care what the pay is, I don't care what the job is. I willll just do it for free. But I feel like as you work through the industry you kind of get to the point where you do have to think about these things like is this a good career decision for me? you know, is doing a year of being an alternate going to benefit me and you have to think like. Oh for sure. So I wrote shall I sh? Oh please my. Yeah, please. I love this. At the time, I was auditioning for Ell.. and I didn't know that alternate was was even an option. An option. So in my head, I was like, okay, it's either Elwards or nothing. So you know, I'm making this scenario I'm a bit dulu in that respect. I will Manifest to the point where I could picture myself in the role. Id picture myself doing an interview on loose women. I you know what I mean? Like Well I think delusion is a part of you have to have a bit of Delu to do what. Delulu is the Dulu. It really is. So I little surprised I'll start with the cons. Okay, hit me. My first con was no big press moment. There. My next con was covering again and feeling like I'm having to prove myself constantly to people online that like I know and you know, covering, alternating is a really hard job. And it takes a very specific set of skills But to the general public They're like, you're not good enough to play the role. againgain and So that's one of my cons. Yeah. One of my other cons was Be in the ensemble as well, being Margot would mean that I'd have to dance. bodyies getting older And I was genuinely like, o my Godd, I don't know if my back can take it. I get that. And that was actually only my only cons. Okay And then my pros Yep hit me Sorry, this a question for you bun. No, I'm loveving this. My pros are I still get to play L.es, which is like ultimate dream role, What the heck? Yes Like inccredible I get to do it. Another pro was the ensemble bits in the show Are great. Yes. like that like that he loves you. Iiconic. Also, by the way, I loved the show. Oh yes, you come to Pressonight. Oh Megan Loved it so much. I screamed out my entire throat from the very beginning. That was the best audience we've ever heard. Oh my gosh, I loved it. I just everything about it. everything about it was exactly what I wanted it to be I'm so glad. Oh so We got cancellled on TikTok a little bit before that everyone hates it They've seen one clip of the bells. they all hate it. Joyous. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Another pro keeps me keeps me on my feet. Yes. playling two parts, keeps the brain fresh. Yeah What am I doing? And actually I love doing that. Yes. And I'm good at that Yeahled splitting my brain in half and I had to accept that. less pressure Theres lessot having to do it every night D differentere pressure Yeah, maybe not yeah, I'm going to say different. Yeah. Now, in hindsight I would have changed that to different pressure. Obsessed with the show still gets to do the show. Yes. get to prove my value That was one of my pros. I like that one. G gets to prove my value that you know I can do both. Yes And another pro was I get to dance. So my con was I have to dance and the pro was but I get to dance. Yeah I love somethingomething can be two things at the same time. Yeah Like it's t, I love it. And that was my list of pros and cons. I. That was pretty good. Yeah. I did think about it because I think you have to. What's your experience? I think pro and cons. First of all, I think the pros and cons were not as clear cut, I think I think first of all There I think every performer has a level of ego and you have to in order to navigate the industry. becausecause your ego is kind of like your armor. It's how you can get through life being told no every other day about something for that yes So you have to have element a healthy amount of ego. So for me, I guess, as I've been so used to playing roles There was definitely a part of myself that I had to go Tosh. You need to speak to the ego of yourself. If you were to say no to this Is it because of ego why you're saying no? And if that is the reason, that is not reason enough and I need you to grow up And I need you to think bigger than that And so at first I was very much like, but I've just played it I've just done it. I've just been doing it eight shows a week. I've been doing it Dun b been doing it And so that at first there was there was definitely a feeling like that I was like Does this feel like I'm going backwards because I remember When I was in my twenties and I was first cover and I was doing that for a very long time, it took me a very long time to be able to step out of that break through and break throughrough to being leads. It's a hard transition that is not promised. Talent is only a small part of whether you can make that transition from first cover to the lead or from alternate to the leader, whatever it is, there's so many other things have to slot into place which aren't guaranteed. So when you've done that And you've made that transition. For me, there was a big fear that I was like, oh God, is this a step backwards? And then I actually called Matt Henry and I was like, right what do I do And he was like H Do it He's like, do it. You're playing the role, You're doing the thing. I also believe that just The landscape of musical theatre at the moment, I think means that there are going to be a lot of that happening. And we saw it in Sunset Boulevard with Rachel and Nicole Serzinger. I think there is a world where you know after COVID, I just feel like there's There is going to be a lot of that because now you can have two people playing it that speak to different audiences. You've got someone that might have a global reach and then you've got someone that might have a reach within the musical theatre sphere. suuddenly you have two people that can reach a massive audience space together. So for me The pros were I got to do a show I thought I wasn't going to be able to do. I thought I thought Kinky booots was to be the one that got away So doing it was a pro. Scott Paage, Courtney Bowman are two of my greatreatest friends and I was like, right, I get to be chaos with those two, right? And so I was like, that is another pro. Touring I hadn't done in one hundred million years. and so I was like, okay I definitely want to do this show on the tour. so there's that. And then I guess another pro was doing it at the Coliseseum. Yeah I was like, Uh That's huge And I saw it as that still I have if there's what is seventeen weeks, I think when when we overall the run seventeen weeks. That is seventeen performances of Maybe new people being able to know who I am. And I was like, that is enough. You have to sometimes think bigger than what you're thinking. And I was like, actually seventeen opportunities in the Coliseum is a gift of an opportunity that anyone would be like, this is an amazing opportunity. And I thought to myself, you know what I'll be really good at it I think that I'm a good loler And I thought you know what? to take that away from myself because I'm only doing one showh a week it seems short sighted and to reframe it in that it's not only one day, it's that I get to do one day at the Cllgeuseum every week. And I guess that show feels really special. I one hundred percent. Yeah anytime I do an L show, I pinch myself ' like You know, you do your one a week and it's like, this is your moment. Yeah you have that energy you have that it feels like press night every time Yeah. I guess it's been slightly different for you because you played the role full time. Yes. and you really got to like find your all solo and find your feet within the rck. Yes. and I think I have now with Ell, for example, but like at the start we I'd hardly done any cover rehearsals and ended up going on a little bit early so hadn't done any cover rehearsals, I really didn't have much to go It was quite lot self work and I didn't really have time to find my version of L before I had to do it in front of an audience And that was one of my biggest struggles, I think at the start. And I think now I've doing more and more shows, I've been able to find my feet a little bit and be like, actually I want to do this bit like that. And the team have been so good at actually being like giving you Yeah giving me space and me like actually it doesn't have to be Yes. And the whole cast is so adaptive Yes Yeah so adaptable and like on a Thursday, I do a Thursday Monday mostly. this week's a Wednesday random. Thursday May, I do L, Day's as Margo, R you know, everyone moves. Yes roles and it's actually like s quite refreshing for our brains well to be able to like change it up. And it was so important that the teams give their covers the authority to do things differently. Yeah. and they have been great. And I think that is and that's again That is not always the experience. and so I do think in that way is really important that teams trust There are certain things that have to be it is? Yeah, I've got a click. Yes. But trust your actors that are your covers and are your alternates to make decisions by empowering actors do that, you will always get the best performance by empowering your performers, that is the best way of getting the best show. Yeah. And it's having ownership as well beingure. You know anyone who watches the show on a what dayays is it today Mondayays Monday you do every Monday. Yes. Anyone who watches the show on Monday, that's the only time that's in the show. you are low love. Yes, you know's not and Yeah, you know, you are lola to them. Yes. you are and share the role. Yes. And I also think what is dangerous that sometimes when it You know, it can be a bit toxic is when we're doing things like comparing, please don't do that. D' Don't do that It's not pleasant for any moreleasant It's not pleasant for any one. Just celebrate the fact that you have multiple performers that are doing the damn thing. Yeah. Just do that Let's not compare Let's not do any of that. It's boring. It's boring and it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. Like no matter what end of that Whatever one. Yeah, please whatever It's uncomfortable It's uncomfortable. I lovehe it And also I feel like It's weird to me because You know, several people after this tour is over who I want to play Elwward for sure Loads of people have played El Wwards before me before Amber, you know, So it's like there's going to be so many different iterations of this character and It's frustrating when people try and compare because it's like It's a made up It's made up Yeah It's a made up character.. We can we can play it how we want. Yeah, I think it's weird. I think what I think sometimes it is particularly with audiences is that they feel like they have an ownership of a show, of a character because it's their beloved thing. And that's all well and good. And I think that is wonderful. I think absolutely audiences that come to watch shows that they love. They should feel like that is their thing I a j U I think Comparing performers is a waste of time. It's a wasted energy. I think just celebrate that you've been able to see multiple different things. There's going be some things you like about this performance,s more than that, blah, blah blah. But guess what? I don't need to know. That is for you and your friends at the dinner table to discuss Preferably not near the there. Yeah Preferably not near there. I can hear you. can hear. I've been commuting to Oxford. We've been in Oxford this week. Yeah. I've been getting the train home with people who've just watch showed. I've obviously got my hat on, like trying to act us. and there's people sat with the programe going through every person being like, ye, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, Oh w my God, I do not want to hear a single thing. It's w? I don't wantan to know. I don't want to know. I actually don't. And that's regardless of whether it's positive or negative. It's actually none of my business Once I've done the show, that's it. Like we've done it. I think yeah, I think Don't compare for No please dont. We're all just out here trying to do our thing and Most of the things that you're thinking or saying about us, we've probably thought and said a lot worse about ourselves. So please keep it to yourself Uod perod Jingle time Wh know Cfessions ofa queen. Hi Hannah. I feel like I've been keeping a secret from everyone I got into drama school in my third attempt and I haven' told anyone there and I haven't toald anyone It's there. There Now at the end of first year every oh, I've not told anyone at drama school that it was your third attempt. Yeahool. Now at the end of first year, everyone's assumed I'm one of those people who just walked in first time and I've just let them believe it because the real answer feels embarrassing. But now I feel like getting rejected twice and coming back is something I'm actually quite proud of and I'm tired of hiding it. Should I just start being honest about it or is that weird to bring up now we're already a year in Well, I think It depends if you've lied about it. because if you've actually been like, no, I got in first time would be slightly embarrassing to be like, I lied. Yeah T take ownership, I guess Yeah, I mean Listen I think ell them I think it doesn't one, I don't think it matters whether you got into drama school first, second, third, fourth. I think it doesn't matter whether you went to drama school or didn't. I don't think any of that stuff matters. I think we build those kind of things and those expectations in our own mind. I think there's that's something that we tell ourselves. I'm glad though that this person has taken ownership of that and has said Actually, I think it's a great thing and's proud. I think that's really important, which is probably more the reason to just tell them like Yeah. Also, it's actually none of their business really. when it happened or whatnot. L you're there doing the thing. So does it really matter? Yeah. I don't feel like you need to go in and be like, guys, I'm gonna have to sit down here. Yeah no, this is a really big deal It actually took me three times to get in. like, I don't think that's if it comes up in conversation, it comes up. and you can be like actually This was my third time Yeah again. and actually that's amazing. You've had all that experience auditioning For sure. you know, you've experienced rejection already, which Nsflash in this industry, you're going to get a lot of once you graduate anyway. So like you've already experienced that like that's going to help you think. And like you said, it's not about How long should you to get in if you went or not, like it's about what you put into it and like The the lessons that you learn from it, I think a lot of the time like I went to Talle Conti for three years and I mean, had an amazing time, learned so much like technically. I feel like my technique and stuff like that was really like grounded in that. And then I graduated, tried to make it was like not working, went back I and did an extra year at the London School of Musical Theatre. And in that extra year, I feel like all these like puzzle pieces came together. and I don't have shame in saying that I did three years of training and was and then wasn't ready. you know, Like I did an extra year of training and I felt like I came at it with a more mature mindset and I was like ually I need to put I need to put all my hard work and time and effort into this. Yes. And I was a bit older, like I understood it. I understood that it was a big, you know fin financial decision as well to do an extra year of training. And I felt like yeah, I was proud of that decision. and I think you should be too. Yeah. So no one's journey is linear. No. It kind of, you know goes in and out. And also when you go up, for example, when you or auditioning, you don't know whether you're the first, second or third choice that they've come to. I know that don't know that. You don't know that. And like what you gonna do because If youre if you are the second chice for a job you're gonna say no, because you weren't the first. Yeah, that's ego thing again. Does it really m? Yeah, I think that for any performer then your main I think battle will be your ego. Yeah. Once you get your ego under control and you know when it's your ego saying something and when it's a reality, suddenly so many things will seem so much clearer Like when I was saying the pros and cons to Alternate Yes. Like I'm so aware that a lot of that is like my ego, it is my ego being like, oh but you know, I audition for the part and I'm having to now tell my ego, okay, well, you're going to do it but only once a week and you know, and it is a battle. But actually like Everything happens for a reason. I feelt like it was meant to be this way.. and I'm so like lucky and grateful to be in this position and having I can't imagine it any other way. I'm having the best time. Yes. I agree. I agree. Yeah, I agree, the same with myself in Kinky this is exactly how I was meant to do this show. What's interesting is We were talkking about it before we hit record you're a rightight? Right. You're an outing no.. You're an out of building alternate. Yes. which Do doesnesn't really happen. doesnn't happen at all. The team at Royo were just really supportive. I've been really lucky in my career, I have to say Like all of the companies that I've worked with just been dreamy. I've been really, really lucky. I always when I go to a new show or with a new production team I always get scared because I'm like, is this going to be the one that where I'm going to have a terrible time. And I've just been so, so, so, so, so lucky that every single job that I've done that I've had the absolute pleasure of doing The production teams, the producers behind them have been so, so lovely to me, so kind And Royo was no different Yeah and has been no different. Yeah. They've been They're producing both shows that we were. And I'm really not the lookook, if I'm very much an open book, if something wasn't fun for me or if I wasn't treated in a way that I thought was okay. I would say it because I think it's really important that performers always maintain that control of being able to say when they haven't been made to feel like they've been supported but Royal was so great. Yeah. They've been so great. So yeah you go in on a Monday. go in your show. do my show and then I What do you do with the rest of your week? Well, I bet you keep busy, don't you? I do. I'm a bit of a workaholic. I'm going to Radder at the moment because I really wanted to train specifically in film and TV. Wow. That's so cool. And that's been wonderful. that's another thing for any performers like always be learning. Yeah. alwaysways be learning, always be like honing your craft, stay excited about what you're doing I love the idea of been reminded that I don't know anything. And that's what's so exciting about being at Rada is kind of like recognizing how much I don't know. And that's so that's so exciting to be in So that's so inspiring. like I would love to go and do like more training. Do it I h perfect opportunity as well. once I've got the time. Whnce I've got the time. And because I did not for me, I just hated the idea of wasting the rest of the week. Yeah. when I could be doing something to better myself and just to a new experience. So that's great and then I write and then I go to the gym and ar lot and I get to see family. I tell you what. Just doing the one show a week Being able to actually see friends and family and not have to say no to events has been wonderful. And do you go and watch shows as well? I've been watching so many shows. What' was the last thing you went to see? One flew over the cuckoo's neest. Oh yeah and that still on. Finished now, I believe. It was a really great. great show a long list of stuff I need to say. Oh, honestly. I've got friends in shows that they're like, Hey, I finish in a week and I'm like, o Ohh I st this show. I can't. It's hard, though, isn't it? When you're doing when you're you know, when you're actually doing a show. Yeah That's a thing that goes out of the window being able to see friends because we've all got the same schedules and that sucks. I wish they brought back a They used to do midnight matinees. Oh. years and years and years and years and years and years and years ago. Midnight matines used to be a thing is so cool and where they put on at the show at midnight and like and so other shows like other shows could go and see it I'm I'm like, brring back Bring it back. And I want in certain shows like like a Titani or a Book of Mormon, I'd love them to do like a boozey one. whereere like a couple of like people in the cast are just wasted. That would have to be at midnight. Oh my gosh, that would be the best thing that's ever. In fact, even something like Lame', that would be Can you imagine? H Deracle. Absolutely a few people. That would be a health and safety nightmare. I would or the barricadade. I would be there all the time. Wh is gonna be trolleied this time? I w to know who it is And you have to guess who it is? You have to guess who's trolleied in the car. Trolleied is so funny. Isn't it fununny words Trollied. Id feel like anything could be drunk. You could be like, what would be a what a good show to be trolleied? I don't think Ley Bon would be. I mean, we've got dogs in the show like that. Yeah, no I think that's a bad one.ary. I think I'm trying to I' food In heels Hingon?'s of course C you imagine? Dunk p b is the best Oh I wanna see you. Let us know in the comments. What show you? Which show? Oh It would be funny to see. I'm trying to think which one? Maybe a muma me or mum me I still think Lays would bead one Avenue Q. Have you managed to see it yet? No, have I? Yeah. No No. I've not seen Kinky boots y need to go and see. fakeaking a phony. Well, please everyone needs to go and see Tosh as Lola in Kinky booots Up until the sixth of July is my lastight. It is my last, you know. Oh my Godd. Garanteed a date. That's gonna be incredible. And I cannot wait wait to see what's next for you. Thanks friend. And thank you so much for joining me. Thanks for having. It's been great. Thank you.