Closing and Final Thoughts

Harlan Williams is in the house. Oh you guys kind of have matching shirts. Why? Hi Jackie. 'Cause it's like Kittdy and a bunny. It's like cute dogs. Kittdy and bunnies That's not where you go Let't sit there. Yeah. Why did you set up a chair over there? This gonna clap? They didn't it It's not set up. It's not set up. It's not set up. It's just He's an artist. He's color coordinated even with how he's. We could changed a chair. You want a different color chair? No, that's all right. I don't mind I don't mind Color isn't a thing for me. For a lot of people it is not for me. Not for you. Nope. never was, neverever will be. I love you, buddy. I want to just say Harlin is a brilliant like An artist, a comedian You know, he's got a big movie I do know that that he wrote, directed Juced Ased me to be in. Yeah, ye I couldn' I couldn't music. No, I wanted to I always begging people to give him roles. And when someone does, you said no? No. I wanted to. I had AGT at the time, American talalent. And what What What was that little slight? Nothing. What You shouldn't say that. you know, they put you through college. Yeah don't left to college. seventeen years I've been not. What did you say, Sonny? I said, Annie wrote some of the music for it. a lot of it Oh wow. You could put on a headset so you can hear Sonny. Sonny saying that you also wrote the music for it performed to sang You sang in it too. D did he did s in it. Is it a musical?? No H Sorry I don't hear anything. Wait, can you turn it up a bit? Hey, Harlan. Oh, there you are. Sonny, Yes, Sonny Sonny and I did a composed a song. for the movie Wingman and then I composed and wrote a couple of other originals. Not because I'm the best singer or songwriter, but it was a low budget movie. so I had I couldn't afford anybody good. I had to do a lot of things that normally other people would do. But music is in your blood. Yeah you have done music before. Y family is well known musiciian Y Yeah, you know Did you know that No, I didn't know that. Yeah Well, I bet you she doesn't even know I don't know if I want her to know though, I'd never know. Not to be mean. Not to be mean I don't look like the kind of person that should know. I just don't know that you can handle it. Okay. Aretha Franklin is his mother. No way. I'm serious Why is she laughing? See, this is why I didn't want to say anything. She' s hand it. Full of judgment in her Beetlejuice costume and I sit here and I'm just supposed to take it No, what don't you what don't you 're not looking at your watch. Three minutes into into a podcast. my bracelet And we have a guest here. You don't do that. I don't wear a watch. Did you draw what's on your shirt No, I didn't, Howie. You usually do draw the stuff that's on your shirt. I like to draw stuff on my shirt, but not not this timey Oo, as they say But that is it's a cat eating ramen with an egg. orr is that Japanese? What is it I don't know what's written there. Do you know what's written there? Yes This means consume And the cats consuming ramen. That doesn't mean consume, you' making shit up. No, look it up You can look that up. How do I look that?gle Its What language is it? That's so. bipartisan You know if she'sny, I could say your name three times and you're out of here Like three times real quick.'t doesn't look like the Beetlejice shirt? Yeah, the stripe. You don't think that you don't remember that from Beetlej? I do remember it, but I didn't think that it look like Hey, let's move on from first wait wait he's pulling up a beetle juice Yeah, that looks like heres's. Yeah's not That looks like stripes. What? Well it's thicker stripes. That's what you're finding the difference to be Eactly It's uncanny, Jackie Keaton. And if you're gonna complain, I'll go right into whereere's Waldo mode on your ass. why. Found you There you go Oh there you go. And if I have to do a deeper cut Howie, and I don't want to do this because it's your daughter but I will, goo ahead The villain on the other side of the fence in a Christmas story I don't know that one. I don't know that one.. Go the villain on the other side of the fence in a Christmas story. I want to see what he's talking about. Yeah He's good with the visuals with the Where is it? That's still Beetlejuice people. Yeah the villain on the other side of the fence in a Christmas story. Yeah in their backyard. She grew up Jewish. She doesn't know the Christmas What? Jewish. How is she? Not hear you God. You know? Yeah. I don't see any stripes. You don't see any there it is. Oh there. There you are. Oh, that's the most, that's the most like her. the three of them really. Well, that's the deep cut if she wasn't gonna to respond to the first two. Jack A Yeah Look at you You little villain you from a Christmas story. They're all dressed like. Jewish. so I knew the deepest cut would be the hardest to deal with. Because of the Christmas and the Jews. Now as her father, are you Jewish What are you doing? Are you looking for the deep cut? Yes Now I'm your buddy.. She's your daughty, you're Jewish, you're Jewish. As your buddy, am I Jewish because I'm your buddy Like I'm my Jewuddi or But Jewi? Well, I don't know, you're not Jewish Well you're wh. you know what? you're white No no, but I could say he's white. Is he not white or white? All Jews are wh. And he's one of my supreme friends So you're my white supremacist Oh wow. As far as friends go. Yeah Okay Can he be our white supremist? isn't that funny at the beginning, I said, I don't see color Yeah this is really odd. Oh, here's an argument I always have with Sunny because you're an artist. Yeah, come on Is white a color No Neither is Back Oh,. bllack and white are not colors. Isn'tically. Isn't every if you take every color on the spectrum And and flow them to get that's white because if you spin that spectrum, it it's white So it is all the colors It's not what happens. And black is void, shut up Sonny. what happens. Shut up Sonny. Look what happens. That's not what happens. take If you take paints, do you want to let take the if you take all the colors in a paint palette and you literally mix them together. What do you get? You don't get white.. tellell me. Well, regardless of what this mysterious voice is saying, if you look up ically white and black are not colors Is black is white a color or is black a color? Look up black because we're trying to change the name of his band because it makes no sense. Jesus? Sunny in the bllack pack. He saidays it's because' every light. We're not talking about light. Sunny in the black pack is not about light. it's about paints. It's a references for paints. has nothing do with light. But your music guys keep saying it's not it's not like the right thing, but you're wrong Well then it's muddy brown. light. Th it's mudd brown. Muddy brown There you go. That's close. Sunny in the muddy brown pack. But saying it's the opposite is wrong because you're talking about wrong spectrum. A a light. Are you enjoying being guested? M might be time to let somebody go s out even coffee over here. Yeah, he gets angry when he. I love all her. He's so focused on color. Yeah color centric? Is that? I think he is. Look at the guy that's so focused on color fighting with our white supremacist Yeah Yeah, you cant. You can't really win that one. Go ahead and. Uh Sonny? Yes Move is not a color. Mob. Would you call me It is a color. Yeah, okay No it's not. It is M. I think it's Mv dad at least. Move. It's definitely AU? Ay you too. It's Mv Mom. We're talking to you, eh wo Canadians talking to a Jew. Like if you were if you were to pack up your house, all your furniture and go to a new house, what would you be doing? Move. Mov. It's Mov If you're in an Italian neighborhood, it's Mov. Hey, are you a Mav away, ah U Yeah I wasn't finished. Okay Yeah. ye ye And then Itans from Sicily go longer with all their But his mom and mom Oh there it is How do you say?? Oh wait, wait, sayay it again Doud it again mo I think it's Canadian, Move. Yeah, Move. Move is Canadian. That's how said That's how we said in Canada. Yeah M Move Yeah There's we also say Bick I instead of black. Yeah. Yeah, Bick. Yeah and w't white Yes. He's a white supremacist. Yep. Yeah. So the movie. Let's talk about the movie. Thank you. Oens. It opens may twenty sixth on all streaming services and all streaming services. Y. I think Apple prime. you can preorder it now on Apple Um, and then, uh june twenty sixth, it opens in Canada and I think we're going to be on a bunch of theaters up there from what I'm being told, but also on streamers It's a month late. Yeah You so you're going to preremiere on streamers. Yeah And then after a month, it's going to open theaters Yeah You know that's not the way that a lot of things have worked in the past, but you're going out a whole different You're coming in new marketing strategy where we think do things in reverse. Yeah And yeah. So people like when it's on Apple or when it's on any of those. Yeah People say, I'm not going to turn it on. I'm waiting until this comes to theaters. Well in Canada, I think they Apple has their own jurisdiction thing And so maybe what might happen in Canada is they might do it different. And this is I'm signing for the people that. Do you have any Viewers because I want everyone to see this movie You think this movie would be good for the hearing impaired Yes What Why? Why? What have you done for the hearing impairi? What we've done is we have me on a side thing, a side screen signing the whole movie I don't think you're is that signing? What are you me ask me to say anything and I'll sign it for you. What was your impetus for making this movie And that's short annt to get laid. I got it. Yeah I must be hearing impaired. Yeah For me to be able to get that, it's easy. You don't want to be hearing impaired to no sign language. Being deaf was easy. Jake learard something! Wow. This is the first time Jake has done that Sign language. What? BeCause he responds to sign language. Oh, I didn't even realize. We were always on Jake because he misses the shot. It's like always a year and a half later. This is the first time with you doing that that he did that. Yeah. he's obiously deaf. That's why. A Daf drummer Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And these guys actually did they play a song in your movie? They actually play He used to play in Deaf Leopard actually He was the drummer But Death Leopard has a one one arm drummer. What? But how does a one armed drummer do sign language Could you I didn't C you sign that to me, please? As a one armed drummer? What you just said about See, without this, it's hard to tell you what it's happening Do we gonna get in trouble on this one from the hearing impaired? I was gonna say, do you want me to be the other hand, but I don't want to No. Yeah you that is just wrong. Oh my God. No. No's stupid For the deaf people. I'm stupid. For the deaf people do it.. That was so stupid. But if you do that your mother does If you did that And you did that, would that be incest technically Like can you try it so we can see? Nope Just no that No, no. Now No No Don't You're not supposed to stick your fingers into your daughter Hold on Standing or sitting This is a great audio podcast. Oh my God. Ders We are gonna get this is this is where we're gonna get in trouble. Am I in trouble? O not if people just listen to this one. Yeah. D't watch. Don't watch Don't watch. Can let me whereere's my camera? Is this my camera right here? Don't watch this It's not this, that's right at us Or is this a double? That's notot a double. You're using the wrong Everything is the wrong fucking p. I don't No I don't That's a two shot. This is both of us. Why would I know that that's what it's called two shot? Yeah. You don't know what a two shot is, tell her. Uh, half of year uh My buddy here lives in Florida and he's a fisherman. Yeah deicious. That's cool Yeah, did you fish it all 'cause you're dressed like a lure a striped lure. How do you feel about your sweater choice today? Do we have anything else in the b w, wait, wa, wait I wan to see so many different lores. I would want to be. Well, it looks like a group of lores. your sweater, looks like a group of lores. There we are. What do you What do you fish for U downown there Rdfish Just it goes by colors. He doesn't see colors yet he. What is a red fish? I don't know what To me, it's just white because I'm a white Supremacisted Yes You are. So because he lives half year in Florida and half time. That's why he's a white supremacist Listen, Waldo. I don't know where you are right now Waldo, but if I find you behind the Eiffel Tower peeking out, I'm going to throw a fishing crankbait right in your All right. Giant jumbo forehead. Speaking of fish, howie, this is just something. I'm on one of these diets, these Hollywood fad diets. I was gonna say you lost some weight. Well, can I tell you why it's? I'm on this fish diet and I'm a sushi nut? There is a parasite in raw fish called the Kawa parasite It's a live worm that gets into if they don't Chill the The sushi And so what I do and I'm on a mercury diet right now, Right. I'm like, all mercury all about mercury. Some people are in a riboflavin and all these But you're in a Mercury? I'm Mercury crazy. And so what I do is I toss My my tuna sushi in the freezer And I make in fact, you don knowt mind, I make tuna pops And I just sort of nibble on him during the day And, you know, just like a obstacle stuck it around my mouth a little bit and Well alive. He's sucking fish right now No, I don't mind. but so what is the diet? and you get the worms from that? You're getting a worm? No. No, this not kills the worms, but this is this is helping me get my mercury. Okay And then with the worm, the dead worm, how does the dead worm? how is that removed? Like where does that come from? Where do you get Well, if there is any infestation, it freezes and kills them So they can affect your system, but if they're alive They can cause a lot of damage in there. Some people choose to have worms. P. Some people choose to have worms, like tape worms. What you preer?. No I. Stell them Well, it's not nice to not even hear you. I love a cock I lovex cck. call f you? Some people choose to have worms, like eat worms arere you gonna to be okay? You're gonna choke. . Do a picture. I think people remove worms anally. Wormms being removed anily. Can you get it out with a piece of meat. you put meat in your anus So if you suck in the tuna, but you put a piece of meat in your on your anus, cllose by. What? Close by What this close by meanose It doesn does't have to be like right on your butt. It could just be close by. Oh here we go Didn't your aunt do that? Yes Yeah. we invited all the kids over and watched her aunt do that. We used to do that. That's how were we were more observant when we were younger. So that was part of our holiday things. Do we have a video of somebody removing a worm anally Is that do they have meat near there? Guys, I'm eating I mean, do we have to look at Well just so you know But you know, but there's no chance of that because this is frozen sushi So that's the whole point of you just said you have you just said you have worms No, I'm saying there's worms. there's the Anakawa parasite worm in sushi. And you're losing weight because this is eating this is festering on your innards. No, mostly because of the mercury. Th These are have high mercury content and I'm like all about, you know, you could do a fancy Beverly Hills diet, but When do you ever get the chance to eat another planet I mean Verory is really the only place we get sustenance from. I mean, you don't go to Itian restaurant and go Hey waiter, another plate of Mars carbonara. But would you would you ever consider eating Uranus That's not a planet anymore R not It is You're thinking Pluto. Oh, Pluto You always she always gets her anus mixed up with Puto. Oh God When did that start? When did you start getting your anus mixed up? With Pluto? Yeah. The dog The planet. The planet. I don't know. a while ago plan It's not a planet anymore. Speaking of getting your anus mixed up, have you ever tried to shoot out of your belly button home Because if you look at it, Look at your belly button. You don't just He put a blueberry in his belly button. What does it look like? My belly button Yeah withith a blueberry in it? Without it An anus You ever accidentally like you drank so much at a party or You try to poop out of arere you doing it right now?. Eating, Howie Ia shit out of my belly butt Why do you look so What? Youna see the picture of me with the belly button put up They had the worms ready no they donoubt That's something else. I know what that is You knew what that was. Yeah. That was they were going to show a prolapse a prolapse danus. Oh I don't whole thing with that. Yeah. I don't have that v. Capse a planet too. If they got rid of Pluto, look at my anus. Oh, my anus, my belly. Look at the way. Oh yeah. I always get the two mix there. Why is it sunny with your blueberar? I a sang about it. You wrote a song about it He wrote the s You could play with the song. Yeah. This is Sonny, this is Sonny played a song because he told the whole story about what I did What did you do? They'll tell you, what's happening I don't know what they're doing. They're logging into TikTok apparently. They're logging in. Oh wow. yeah. So that's my bell button And as his house manan We naturally had to write a song about it. When you put a belly about an article Belly button hurts Bey belly Belly button hurts baby ye. Belly button feels so alone. F of friend to Cly home. Pumry looks so sweet outut of the way and also deep. Also deep. I didn't expect suchuch a nice berry button really racked it Oh how burn. Well burn like hell. button. I learned. I love how it regge Bey. Well what would it be? you put a berry in your belly button, it's gonna be reggae. I guess so. ye, fits Pleasmmer? It does fit. It fits Okay we got it we got it. It did. Yeah It grew The belly button or the berry. The berry and then it attached to the belly button and I had to go to urgent care. For real. O. What? O. Why is that the first do when you just asked me if I would shit out of my belly button? Well, I don't know. I guess O is for Everybody's everybody's loves oooze. Why are you gonna play me Nobody makes me laugh like you do, Harlland. We u We are so excited to have you here. I'm so I'm equally as excited as I'm disappointed that I'm not in your movie and I can't wit movie. But I hope you do another one and hire me. Yes. You will hire me. Are we touring right now? Yes, I'm doing my Komzilla comedy tour across the country. Comzilla. That's what I called it. They said, come up with a name And I thought, why not come illa Nobody's ever done that. Nobody's done that. So Komzilla comomedy tour. It's at theaters and comedy clubs across The country Will you be inside the buildings or will you be hanging off the edge on the top of each of these buildings? Oh, that's King Kong Oh you're right, not God de. It's not it's not I thought I was being witty, that I was being stupid. No, no, no, no. There's a thin line between witty and stupid. No, I think that's an easy mix up.. Godzilla and King Kong. No, one's like an ape and one is like a dinosaur. Yeah, no, I know, but I'm just saying a lot of people mix those up. I don't think they do. Yeah The would be called Tom Kong notot C Zilla. So it's comedy and then Godzilla You ever say y'all when you're down south? It's like two words And becomes one. No, I see what you did. I understand. But I guess there are people that don't understand. and there's also the people that are hard of hearing that don't know what you're doing. so I love what you're doing now R the f Is that fuck off? I don't know, is it Did you took the CK off So did Louis? You're right But he always asked first. Yeah See what we did there? I got it. You could help me. You want to help me? Yes. So there's an email, this is a trueh thing. There's an email from a guy. Read that email from the guy who said from nineteen eighty something. This is I swear to God, this is real. What? No, this is real. Listen, listen, you'll hear. I have a voicemail of that. Oh, it's a voicemail Yeah. Okay, listen to this.. Listen to this, I swear to God, this is not made up Okay, listener this Hello, my name is Ken It's about eight thirty on Friday and trying to reach Howie Mandel. He and I had a conversation in nineteen eighty four, and I would love to have a five second conversation to ask him a simple question about the results of that. I know it's a little mysterious, but I don't want to teleraph punch If he wants to reach me, my name is Ken. And my phone number. Okay we we went' to get the phone number, but I swear to God that's real Can we call right now? I wanted him to call and speak to you. He could talk to Howie, but he could talk to Harlan and maybe Luke could find the reason. I'm afraid. Why? I don't know what the results. I don't remember the beginning of it. It' nineteen eighty four. He started a conversation with me and he wants to finish it off. and I trust I trust Harlan with my life or like brothers, Canadian brothers. And you could say I couldn't get Howie, but we got Harlan and finish it off and we'll hear it. So is there any way we can dial it and then and hear it or does he Do it on the phone, like and hold it how would he do that? I want Harlan to talk to him. Wait, which you don't remember what this conversation was at all. nineteen fucking eighty four. And this is a voicemail that came into our What time did the voicemail come in Who got it Kyle Who got it? You? Rich They've got E. David got it. Wh It's like a big game of time. How did it come? Oh because they saw me post something from Proto.. David owns Proto. so they came in the hologram company And they saw that and they're trying to get in touch with it. So this came people are gonna know that they could get in touch with Proto if they ever want to get in touch with the. Is this good advertising for Proto, David Great. Yeah, I think this is fantastic. But he's lying. He doesn't no, I love this. This is like protocol. Here we go. here we go and you could talk to. Okay, what was his name? What was his name? Ken. Ken. Okay, Ken. When was it eighty four? I think it was eighty four, yeah Howy Mandel here, you ever try putting a collar on an excited dog fumbling with that tiny buckle iss like trying to button a shirt during an earthquake? That everyday frustration is exactly why Magna PP was created to make walks easier, faster and far less stressful. Magna Pup's click and go system snaps together automatically with a self aligning magnetic closure and a secure internal latch Convenience and reliability all in one. Head to magnnaup. com and use the code How we fifteen for fifteen percent off store wide busy could a guy be trying to finish a nineteen eighty four conversation. Hello Hello, you're raised every . Okay.ndave me a message. I to get back to you as soon as possible. and have a great a message Hi, Debbie. Wait till it beeps. Oh yeah, it could beep there. Hi Debbie. This is KFC. Y orders ready. fun family pack, extra crispy Colla on the side with the corn on the cob and your sister's face Got her, gotot her. You know what's gonna happen for years later, got her. They orered they ordered CFC in nineteen ninety three. You just finished the joke. Gota, Bos. Beos. Well, I'll kind of like the phone. C canan't wait for to call me back o. Oh you don't have you don't have a number that's a blocked number That's gonna come back here. Wow I love that.. You could have asked for my phone. It was a blocked number. That is so great. You could have offered your phone. Why did you ask them for? They' phone in the back. It want them Should you ever go to KFC howway? Yeah, I loved KFC when I was a kid. You don't eat it now? No Come my guy. Ges right to It's right to my wife's thighs Oh I thought you werere going to say it goes right to your belly button. No, that's blueberries,. you get fried chicken and blueberries mixed up with What are you nuts? sometometimes? You're nuts. I'm not. He's nuts. N not nut. No I would never get I would never put fried chicken in my belly button That would be That would be nuts. Did you when you ate it, did you just eat the skin And then not eat the meat? and the macaroni salad. I'd have skin and macaroni salad. I don't even like the meat The skin is the best part it's the healthiest part. People don't know that, but fried chicken, the healthiest part of the fried chicken is you should spit out the meat, throw away the bones Just eat the fried skin. Yeah. Have you ever had it K'ty ye. In college, I ate a lot You had it a lot That's because you were fat No, that's not. Whoa. Where's Shadow? She was fat. W really?? How much is there a picture? I was over two hundred pounds. No way. Yeah. You look great. Thanks. Well somebody who lost two hundred pounds. What was your diet secret? and don't say Mercury or I'll fly over that table loset again Hot too lose just not smoking pot as much anymore. Oh wow. Well, you didn't go on a nutty. She always exercise. She was always high. You know Oh yeah. and, you know, we paid for her room and board. She was a college kid. Yeah. We put her in this really nice house. And we found out that she without telling us, because she was high She bought a dog But then would I't buy a dog. What did you do? I rescued a dog. resced.'t resc dog stre. It was nebor's dog. She it wasn't neighbor's dog. It's not rescue, it's a steal. Fat people don't rescue dogs and consume them. I did not eat the do. Did you eat a rottweiler? No It was a Rotwiler. It was a pitle. No pitle. And But you wouldn't tell us. So every time we came to visit She would open the windows because the house stunk. She'd open the windows Bake cookies and try to explain the shit stains all over the rugs. You know what? he got me for my birthday when I live there?? An elliptical did. That is cruel ' I mean, well, what if what if it had a seizure? You don't know how to handle one of those? An elliptical I'm sorry, I thought you said up aleptic. Oh No he didn't get me an up blood Sorry I b headphones. But I wanted her I wanted an exercise because she was fat and shitting all over the living room What's the name of this pitball? Be they always have the craziest names like switch blade or chainsaw or Cesarean section. I mean, they have the wildest Maddie Oh. She told her daughter that her niece's name was going be syphilis know this Did I tell you this Did you tell me? I'm the one who told my daughter? Oh yes. We give We didn't want to give the name of her daughter. We didn't her sister Did you tell it already on the podcast? you mean? You did. But you could tell it again You tell a story about syphil. No it's fine He's the guest. Tell a story about syyphilis. me. Yeah. Okay, I'd love to. Go ahead. Are you sure? Yeah I was in Vietnam as a tourist You don't want to hear it I want to hear. How much ch iss laughing. Why are you laughing? Working on my default bitch face, I'm just always smiling now. No was no reason. There was a sound It just came out. Okay you can play For those that are just listening, my daughter and the guest Hyland have both removed their microphonees. So But you did it in such a way that you are being disparaging That's disparaging You can't just keep the mic where it is and just stay quiet and intent on listening to our guests Syphilous story from Vietnam. I can. This is the Vietnamese Sphil story Ladies and let's tell the story as soon as we come back Okay, this is going to be a great Vietnamese syphilis story. I always like to keep people like a cliffhanger so that people come back Yeah I'm sure people are calling their friends right now and their neighbors and they're going, Harlan Williams is on Howie Mandel does stuff Turn it on now because when the commercials over, he's going to be telling a syphilis story from Vietnam. This is not the radio They don't It's a recorded podcast They don't have to be like, turnurn it on, you're going to miss it Sassy little fishing lure I almost wish like a large mouth bass came up out of the carp right now and bit her Sassy guy. I know. Howy Mandel here, keepeing a home clean feels like a never ending job. spills, crumbs, messes, It's always something. Steve's Cleaners is a family owned company focused on creating effective cleaners that are better for your home and affordable for everyday families. Their lemon multi use spray is made with plant based sugar derived detergents and real lemon essential oil, and you can use it daily on your countertops, glass, tile, stainless steel, and more. For a limited time, use code Howy fifteen for fifteen percent off sitewide at stevescleaners dot com d assy forward. I want to hear your story. You do. Yeah. So I was in doing a t do you want music in the background? I'd love some sort of Pacific pan Asian type of Vietnamese whorhouse type. Oh that's nice Id love to do it just for authenticity in a Vietnamese accent. I don't speak Vietnamese, but I would like the closest I can come is if a Vietnamese person moved to North America and spoke in broken English. Okay. That's the closest I could get to speaking Vietnamese and tell the story of the syphilis. Go ahead. let me just check. Yeah. Sonunny, are you okay with that? You wouldn't be offended by that, would you Is he Vietnamese? No, no, no, he sure looks like it doesn't he Like the mushroom cloud part, I mean. mushroom cloth part. What does that mean? Like the big puffy Oh like, I'm the puffy mushroom Well, I'm not. I'm on Mercury Wait am I the puffy mushroom becausecause I'm fat? Well, let's put it this way. If we were watching a Laurel and Hardy movie right now, who would you be And now you're pushing away your mic Well, then I'm do it too again. No. No, we need myphone stop Why is it okay for the men to make sounds that when I make a sound? Oh now you're going you're going to make this too controversial. We're going to get in trouble The sound you make is when you're skimming across the top of a pond. What lure. dirty lure All right, Vietnamese music And this is as told by somebody who moved from Vietnam to Canada or No, I was just there visiting. Okay, and picked up an accent Well, no, I didn't pick up an accent, but I want to do it because he's doing the authentic Vietnamese music But not yet, notot yet please H Stan I want to I don't speak Vietnamese and this isn't insulting, but I want to be as accurate as I can culturally. get. And the only Vietnamese I could do is these I pick up on broken North American Vietnamese English accent and that's the closest I can get to and I do V I do V sign Also, but This is sort of a visual story a disclaim Okay. And the music Oh it was nineteen eighty three I was looking for myself. I wanted to find myself Hred at a rp race rununning around nine to five rove a call. I go to work every day In my Cubicle So I go to the far East. I go on adventure time to Okay, cut the music Chubby Sunny What the hell guy, I'm trying to tell a Chinese herpes story here or whatever it isorous. Syphilis horor story I think I interrupted you. I'm sorry I laughed Iughed and I like I spurt it into the mic. I'm sorry, that was my fault Tamy Tammy's Chin. I hope you didn't offend her Tammy's Chinese. No, this is Vietnamese. You said Chinese No, he didn't. I think my music is a little more Chinese than Vietnamese, but that's all I got. If you could slant it more towards Vietnamese It's What Christ? What the hell's going on here, you Jesus? Oh no. just tell a story. Hit the music, tell a story. Oh. I remember I woke up early in the morning The golden sun climbing out from beyond the horizon, the reflection like friar on the Oka Chana Wanga River. Oh, I felt so inspired and haorny I get so horny by the golden sunrise And so I go into the street and I look for love I look for passion I look for white lotus sexual intercourse And then standing in a food market Beautiful lady selling vampire bat wings Iy style We go back to her house. We make lovey lovey Lovely, lovey coovered with rhubb oil And seal me she keep hidden in a floorboard Crazy Rady she is. A sensual and smell nice like pine tree air conditioners that hang in carwash rearview mirror We raite down on rice paper And we buck up and down like Walris being hit in head with canoe powerarl We make wild, passionate rough till sun go down behind Lake Okasaka, Nicawakaoka Okay, hold on this guy. What's the a cot I was just about to get to the climax of the story of the story And then I see you chucklin over there like sorry. don' I'm being like a Cambodian school girl That's exactly how I was chuckling. I'm sorry. I apologize. I just it was u I'm sorry, Can I finish G ahead Yeah we was The moon climbing up behind a pine tree We make soft tender life all night, we make a r. Listening to Meetlof, paradiseed by the dashboard light in the background R really, really rroud and the rouder it get, the more my hip gyrate up and down like fucking Bronco at Calgary Stamp rodeo nonetheless yet Okay, hold on. I'm sorry. What? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I keep laughing. I'm going I'm going to try to keep a straight face. You know what? Finish on this face Oh I didn't realize I didn't realize. It's okay All right. Okay. Hit it. And yeah we were Weina going in and out Sriding in and out of saw velvety cave Like Mitsuishi going to dirty car wasash up in Bakerfield, California You make Rv And then we fall asleep In the morning My mystery radi is gone. I see a canoeing into the horizon line She smell like tobacco and garlic butter for some reason Th then the itching begin. And then the red swollen pimple Horry Frock I go to the clinic And I've got the herpes. I mean vociferus And that's it I got Sypholis I mean, you did ask. It's not on me. You just got the cld. I've already got syphilis. I don't say the cloud. That's an amazing story. It was a good story. Thank you. Not only a good story, Harrowing Yeah, that was her last name What was her first name Diarrhea, herroing Diarrhea. Is there an extra D in that?. Double D diarrhea Double Diarrhea. di the diarrhea, Harring. Yeah That's amazing. and Sonny, thank you so much Yeah for the that's what I sort of needed that accent reallyally took me back to that fateful Night And boy. And that's a true story. That's a true one, but thank God for penicillin. Or maybe the mercury in my system. I don't know, but somehow it cleared up. the movie opens Her legs opened. part of this movieiess called Wing Man.an canan I show the trailer Are you serial? I' love that. I don't know if I'm serial, but I know I'm g Okay, let's play the let's show the clip of his of the movie. It's the trailer for Wingman. right M twenty six on all the streamers. And then after a few weeks. in theaters in Canada A month after a month after month. Mth on every streamer. You can get it and see it anywhere. But if you're listening you can Don't ruin it by turning it on television or any streamer because it's gonna be open a month later in a theater inar Saskatchewan All right. Play the trailer Wingm Man is now officially on the clock on a Saturday night I know it works That an elephant ought to jerk itself off with its own nose You're not actually considering this, are you? No. Turk Thompson Wait man Okay, 'cause like a wingm, what are you still in high school? Wing manan. You don't get laid I don't get paid. What have I got to lose I need to take these onion rings down into the jar, stack them on the bald cyclops and let me know the count. You're nuts. You're a madman. this is a huge mistake. Oh G let him first See anything you like She's beautiful. Look. Have you seen that Julia Roberts movie, Eat, pray, love? Yeah. Yeah. Well now you're looking at the sequel, Eat, eat, eat. So sp What makes you such an expert on women anyways. POP power The pussy All right That was a mild setback. dressed real nice. A room for some mh Wall Street Beaver. It's party time Kinkya! A bot spot! There it is Wingman may twenty sixth O a month everyverywhere. Or a month later. O a month later in Canada. Yeah. Well, congratulations, buddy. Buddy, I appreciate you playing that. Thank you so much I love you. Nobody makes me laugh more than you, buddy. It is Any time you're here, anytime we spend time together. and I love working with you. I do.. Hopefully we can do a lot more together. Rich wants me to give you some underpants. I always give you underpants here. The man madeade Canadian underpants. Yeah. ye. What size? What size are you Wow. You get to pick. Large, small, medium. Keep going There's an extra large on the floor. Bigger than that. I don't have any I don't have do we have bigger than that, Rich? Oh, you got one. Okay, good Manmade underpants are really comfortable. They're made our mododell. they they don't want They don't will get you on your size. They don't they moisture wick and everything. I have the one I have that size, I don't think even fit in the package Oh, you have two X and X. Three X, three X G him one I thought were gonna give him the white ones. the white ones we have the ones, his eyes Yeah Do these have a syphilis drip pad inside, you know? You're not you're not going back Asia Oh, maybe I is fun guy Oh so wow you rok. We got you size We got your size. These aren' in white. Those are black, but if you want white, I have white. These aren't colors. Okay. Oh yeah, that's for me. Yeah Thats Yeah That'll work. Yeah. That'll work. Yeah got it? here you go. That'll fit everything in Yeah, share it with a friend. All right. R Harlan Williams, the movie's called Wingman. goo to harlanwilliams dot com, right Just to see you're to test these out real quick Wow Yeah, these should fit. Yeah, those underpads fit like a glove. That should work great. Thanks. Yeah Yes, Wingman, please check it out. You can see the trailer at Harlowwilliams d. com if you want to watch it again Check out, we have a Wingman movie on Instagram. You can watch clips and interviews And please support the movie. It was an indie movie. We put a lot of love in it. Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters Kayla Wallace And this girl from Landman? She's from Landman. Yeah. And she's originally from British Columbia and she's great in it. You saw her in the trailer there. Pretty girl. And so please support it and go out and see it. we think you're gonna love it. So thank you so much. Thank you, buddy. Thank you, man. All right. Do you have a song to play us out, Sonny? Yes Inded Go ahe Ch Mim, how in Mandill Chitack m. Oh him, how inandill. Harlland Williams, Park Ranger, his deep worm is no stranger. Onion rings are stacked up high Scapula guy graduated from D Fy, state trooper driving by, H bit a puppy dog pal, Wingman help me get my cal It on right Watching a j of b watching how inendill to st funny episode