Closing Thoughts And Future Episodes

This is exactly right . If you've been sitting on a business idea for a while, consider this the sign to take action. It can even be made official today by creating a website with Wix Harmony . Just tell Wix Harmony what you want and it will build the entire site . Business features included , and everything can still be edited by hand It's your website your call . Try it at wicks. com slash harmony. That's wicks dot com slash harmony . Hey everyone, it's K alpen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast Earsay, the Audible and I Heart Audio Book Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audio books available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears . Listen to Earsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the IHAT radio app or wherever you get your podcast . What's up y'all? Summer's got a different tip of everything's a little looser, brighter. One plan turns into another. You hear something, you stay a little longer. Next thing you know, you're somewhere you didn't plan to be. It's those in between moments. That's where the ideas hit. Conversations stretch out, little memories sneak up on you. And sometimes it's just about what's in your hand , that color, that chill, the new tropical butterfly refresher from Starbucks. Kuava and passion fruit flavors with mango pineapple flavored pearls. Yeah , that feels like summer before you even taste it. Funny out one small stop becomes the best part of the day. Start your summer rhythm with Starbucks . Try the new tropical butterfly refresher from Starbucks. But I invited you here thought a I made myself perfectly clear when you're against my home . You gotta come to me empty and I said guess your presence is present to know that I already too much stuff so how did you dance to disobey Welcome to I Said No Gifts I.'m Prit ish Weineger . We're here . This is the three hundredth episode. We've done we've managed I've managed to do three hundred of anything . This is the only thing I've ever done three hundred of other than like take a shower . So we're here unbelievable. I can't believe that we've managed to make it this far. The fact we've found that many people that I can tolerate is a whole other story. And how we're going to fight even more is it's going to be an uphill battle. It's going to be a struggle, but we're going to keep fighting through. We're going to look under every stone. We will find some people I can deal with . Ah , what's going on? No, it's been I think that's kind of the big news . Here's something I need to talk about. No more documentaries about rock climbers. I am looking for things on TV and every other thing is now a documentary about somebody climbing a rock in Yosemite . Enough . We had the one, I don't know why we need more . They're in danger and they have a different type of personality. That's how they all are. And I like to rock climb. I've given up the hobby . And I'm sure they're all perfectly nice people, but let's find some other extreme sport to get into . What would that be? Water skiing , water skiing dock , water skiers reach out. Let's see, is there anything else? Let's see if I have any business . I mean, Patreon continues to exist patreon. com slash I said no gifts having the time of our lives. We're chatting, we're creating new episodes. I'm talking about the secret lives of Mormon wives, I'm talking about the real housewives of Solich City . Just generally posting things as you do . I'm just realizing I haven't I've done three hundred episodes of this and have not receiv ed a cent from the Brazil Nut Commission . I've really given Brazil the Nut a platform here and I've been very good to Brazil Nuts and still haven't they haven't reached out. So that's a problem. I should recommend I should advertise found coffee. I haven't done that in a while. That's in Eagle Rock, California. They do not pay me . Occasionally they gave me a free coffee, probably not enough to be honest, but it's a wonderful coff ee shop and there was an annoying father there today who stood in front of both the doors while I was trying to get out and I would have opened the door for him but he had to do it on his own . We have so much to celebrate in this day and age . Mm . Okay, three hundredth episode. So we should have, of course, you need to have a great guest for a three hundredth episode. And here's somebody who I've wanted to have on the podcast for such a long time, I absolutely adore her. It's Ellie Kemper, Ellie. Welcome to I said no gifts. Richard, thank you so much for having me. What a relief to have you here. I'm telling you the relief feeling is mutual and I am so happy to be here. Thank you for having me on. Happy three hundred . Thank you so much. Can you imagine? No, I cannot. three hundred I said on my before the started, I can't imagine pulling this off. I am beyond impressed. It's a testament to how much people love you. Well done. It's something, it's something. We've done it and I just keep driving on the freeway and sitting here for an hour and a half . And as long as they let me do that, you have some magic sauce. So congrats. It's wonderful . I'm happy to be here celebrate, and I'm happy to be talking to you . You're so easy to talk to. Likewise, it's been a long time since I've seen you. It's probably been almost ten years. Oh, I don't know if it's been ten years. I think the last time I saw you was at Kimi Schmidt, to be honest. It's twenty twenty six. Was that twenty sixteen? It may have been ten years ago. Unfortunately, I'm very aware it was twenty sixteen. Well, it was twenty seventeen because when I was working at Kimmy, I remember a specifically horrible day in twenty sixteen riding the subway to work . Oh, sobbing. Oh, no, work related No, twenty sixteen , election riding. Okay, you say no more. twenty sixteen, you looked at me like twenty sixteen. This is where we find out something just absolutely horrible about your voting record. And I'm like, yeah, what's the big deal? You mean the day we had cake lots of cake to celebrate? I remember I texted the line note of the first AD and I was like, what happened? Because we were so I just what a memory. I leaped texting the first AD the assistant director, but that was sad. I think that's like the one day of work ever in any environment that I've cried at work and it was just that this is not how we started the three hundred episode of this podcast. This is what we're starting . We're reminiscing about no, that's right because so did you cry would? That have been November twenty November twenty sixteen twenty sixteen, right? Yeah . And then and then , but were you there until twenty seventeen? Yeah, that season started in I think like the summer of twenty sixteen and went till like March of twenty sixteen. So we saw the full cycle. We saw him be , we kind of got dragged through that whole thing . That was nice though to be with one another with like minded people . And you'd been working on a thing that was inherently joyful. That's exactly. I mean, I think that day was probably just tough for everybody, but yeah, it's been a long time since I've seen you. I think probably the last well, I bet it was like at a table raid or something. But I feel like we shot that thing when I think we were on Staten Island out at a campground or something. Yes. I don't even know if you were there . I don't know if I was there. No, I think you were just on set Jocke just came to hang out. I love it. Even when I'm not called to set, I always come, I just hang out . Yeah, but it's been a long time. It's been a really long time . And you look you still look like you're seventeen years old. That could not be a nicer compliment. I have I'm getting my hair colored tomorrow and so I did the head to do root spray today. I've never heard of root spray. Well, you don't seem to have gray hair so it's gonna be flying in spring. I don't I'm again , so many things about you impressed me. Three hundred episodes , not a gray hair on your head and I don't think it if it hasn't happened by now, it probably won't happen. Ruth spray is just an aerosol spray of like red. Oh, I'd like to get into this. Yeah. Oh, it's great. It's Lorele is what I use. . And but the thing is like you can't really spray the front of your hair because it ends up getting on your skin, on your forehead, or whatever. And then it's dripping and it's crazy. So this, so thank you for saying that, but I do feel like I have a little bit of what do they call it like a skunk? There's no skunk happening here . Listener, if you're not watching the video, there's no skunk happening. There's no skunk. No skunk . No skunk Tuesday. No, but thank you for saying that. I don't I don't agree, but you look a brave. You're fourteen. I'll also say we talked about this before. It's always nice to have somebody of your exact complexion. I could not be happier . First of all, we just took a photo together. Yes. We both look incredible. We look gorgeous. And it's because no one is like , I think what would it be? I don't want to put words in your mouth . I am pasty sometimes, so I feel like and you're not, but when we're next to each other, we both look what ? Well, I actually want to back up a little bit and say I said we have exact complexions . You look deeply tan compared to me . So I apologize for even bringing I mean even trying to compare. You look like you've like at least passed through the sun during the day . Yeah, but you know what? That sun is gonna come back, that's gonna come back to bite me in a big way. If it hasn't yet if it hasn't yet, you know , so no, that's thanks for saying that. Did you ever go through a period like as a teen that you wanted to be really tan? Yes . Okay, so I grew up in St. Louis. Right. And I remember the early spring and seeing the sun and I would go out in tan and like it would be like fifty degrees in March and I would go out in a swimsuit. Why didn't my parents stop me? That's so dangerous. But yeah, did you have? Yeah, of course. Of course. Because it was like the late nineties, early thousands when it was like every people wanted being tan was the thing to do. There was no like talk about protecting your skin. Isn't that wild? Unless it was your mom like at swim lessons. And that even then? My mom actually at swim lessons would fight us to get sunscreen on us. At least like my ears and my neck. Yes . But yeah, obviously that wasn't when I was a teen. So that right. What if my mom was taking me to swim lessons at like seventeen and trying to get sunscreen on? I am worried I'm on that path as an adult. Should be a mother no , I mean, with the sun protection maybe yes, because that's only been proven to be a good thing. Right, right. But in like all areas, but I don't my mom certainly put sunscreen on me. I don't wanna like mischaracterize the best. She protected my skin. But it is wild that like we all , I'm forty six. And you don't have to reveal your age , but it was wild that we all were just like, no, but being Tan is good and you should be or you will be expelled from society. Right . It's wild. Yeah. And the amount of sunburns that I went through and there was just never a less on learned for me. Did you ever peel? Of course . Like truly, like there was nothing worse than peeling. Like I would rather be glow in the dark than peel at this point. Like absolutely. And I don't know how many, I think I probably had like four peels all on my shoulders. Oh, yeah, of course shoulders. A death sentence. It's horrible. We're doomed . I know. It's crazy. To think that you went through something that your body was just like then falling apart . Like your skin boiled like boiled. It came up in little bubbles and then peeled off you. Yes. When I was maybe twenty or something, I went on vacation to Venezuela with a friend and became so deeply sunburned that I was hospitalized and then came back and was working at a horrible bakery cafe, which I won't name right now. I want to know they did accuse me of burglarizing. No, this is in Salt Lake . They accused me of burglarizing it later, but I was peeling while working in this place. Why didn't they send me home? Why did wait hold on ? The burglary and the peeling are two star. Separate separate crimes. Hold on. One of them I'm guilty of. I was peeling at work. Yes . You were caught peeling at work . You were dripping or like crusting flakes into the pan. I hope I was yeah, I hope hopefully I wasn't prepping food that day. Yeah , but I'm sure like because I went back to work almost immediately after this sunburn. I'm thinking back now. I'm like, send that person home. Absolutely . That is, I mean, on the one hand, I guess, I don't know what's the right thing to do. Protect the products, but also you were sick. Like, but also I'm sorry that you were hospitalized. That's really good. But it was kind of exciting. Venezuela, you're experiencing socialized medicine, your nurse has a leather jacket on. Those are separate those are not related things. It's just I think, she wanted to be cool at work or something . But they got an IV in me and took care of me. What happened? I wanted to know what the event was like in Venezuela. What were you doing? Just on vacation. Oh, how did I get sun? Yeah. Well, I went to the beach for, I think, six to seven hours with no sunscreen whatsoever. That'll do it. And fell asleep and then was just sunburned as a human being can be. And so that happened. The next day we went to like a little like village in the mountains and I was so sunburned I thought, well let's put on some sort of lotion. Let's go to a pharmacy and get a lotion. Right. Big mistake. Right. As soon as the lotion touched my body, I was like, oh, I have to take my clothes. Like it felt like I was coming out of my skin. There was some sort of reaction or something to the point that I was undressing in public. This is actually unite this is something you have a nightmare about . Absolutely horrible. Sorry, was it supposed to be like an aloe? Like a bomb? I don't speak Spanish. My friend does. So maybe maybe the belame actually lays with him. He could He should have been gotten a better maybe just a lower something. Yeah . On the other hand , I want to say this . Sometimes when you put like a I think it could have like not a byproduct but a side effect may have just been that it was irritating your skin wall . I think that must be it, right? Because it like, I think I was just so severely sunburned that no matter what you put on there it could have been water . Anything would have right. I'm so sorry. That's worse than just shoulders. But they took care of me and then I went pe andeled at work . They kept me on the schedule until then they thought that I had burglarized it and then that was the thing. The burglar was it like again, was it money that you took or that you were huge? Actually, let's just actually they accuse me. I'm just gonna own it and say I did do it because I don't work there anymore. I may not have done it, but why don't I just own that at this point? Why don't I say I did burglar ? I'm a bad boy you are they're two words . I saw your name in my inbox. I thought bad boy is bad . Hold on . You're being so cagey. What is the crazy I've been. I know. Well, what was burglarized was I actually don't know money. Money was stolen apparently because you know I ended up in a police interrogation room all of them. No, you're making a joke. This is real. Have you told this before? I've talked about on this podcast, but that I've never hinted at the fact that I did it. I didn't do it, but now that I've are we worried about legal things 'cause you do not need to know the story? No, they're no legal because I didn't do it. Take me to court . Prove to me . Tell me what you saw . Okay But money, because I was like the night shift manager and I had returned to work after a period of not working there. Then I think shortly after they got burglarized. I got it. I'm sorry that they were. I'm pretty sure I know who it was. This guy Alex certainly did it. He was something he had a bad attitude first of all. Sure . And second of all, I have to blame somebody who got it right. Well, yeah, if it's not you, who could have been? It was definitely not random. Like you think it was targeted. I think so. It was an inside job for I got it. Because you know, the money would get slid under the manager's door at the end of the night. Why? What ? This is what I to know that I don't know any of these things slid, you couldn't knock and hand it to the manager. He wasn't there because I was the manager tonight, but you weren't allowed into the manager. See now this is where if there were some problems with the business. Why was I not trusted to go into the local office? , had I been trusted, I would have gone in there and put it in a secure location . But you would slide you would put the money, the cash in a pastry bag. Oh my god. And slip it under the door. Yeah . So if somebody had like a wire hanger, right, fish it out. Right. That's exactly. Again, I'm like, well, of course I did it. It sounds so specific and thought out You leave the car running right outside the back doors. Yeah . And then anyone could have done it . I don't know why it was so hard happened. And then I think they kind of for a while still thought that I had done it and then slowly removed me from the schedule. I'm sorry. I was accused. No, I wasn't , I think our improv team was accused of stealing money once. How is this not a heist movie? I know. Yeah , I know . That feels like something . It has to be something. And I don't know it was a misunderstanding. It's not nearly as dramatic as that. It was just some money was missing from a box . And it was a similar thing, I guess . There was no safe . I don't know the details. I was not the person who on the team who was like brought who was made aware of the accusation. Somebody else was and then told us all so and so thinks that we stole this money . And how did you prove you hadn't? I don't I don't we like improv our way out of it. We were like bing bang bum zip but yeah it hurts to be accused of something you didn't do. Yes, it's deeply painful. Yeah. But if you had done it, how would you have done it? Easy thing I told you is in a box . This is a thing where if you're a business, let's invest in something to put the money in. You know, we were talking about this earlier. I feel like it was a different time. Yeah. There was a time you could you could just put your money in a box and you just thought and you knew people, I don't know, you just it's not something you trusted people people, but wouldn't, it wouldn't have occurred occurred to be able to steal it. That's made up. Of course . People have been stealing since yeah, of course. It's one of the original crimes stealing cash . Oh my god, yes. Was there anyone on the team you suspected might have done it? You don't have to name them? Oh wow . Yes , there is. And now we are really going back because that was a long time ago. Well, I hope they hope it was worth it to that. I hope it was, you know, it's like you have to wonder if you needed money . By the way , I believe that accusation was dropped. So he must have recovered his money. But if I had a guess, I know who would've showed up in a new shirt the next day . You connect the dots, my friends. How much money are we talking about here? It was like after an improv show. Exactly. sixty five dollars . I mean , right Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. Our information . They weren't well at me a break. True. Wow. Yeah, that's an interesting . H youave ever stolen anything ? Oh my gosh. It seems to be like that seems to be a central tenet of this podcast. It's me asking people if they've stolen something and then encouraging people to steal. Still, why not? Well, there is, I was just listening to something about the ethics of stealing I don't know where I land on that. But do you know what ? I don't know that I've I'm not I wish this were more interesting. I don't think have I ever stolen something ? I don't think I have. Good for you. I had to think long and hard about that. I've certainly never shoplifted. Okay. And I want that on record because I haven't. That's what separates you when Yeah, I'm a heavy or was a heavy shoplifter. Did you have a problem with it? No, no problem. No my only problem was I wasn't shoplifting enough. No, I would shoplift from it was an interesting thing. There's like a chain of thrift stores through Utah called Deserite Industries and I would choplift from those . There was an hour of each day at high school that you were supposed to go to something called seminary where you would learn about the Mormon church. Okay . And instead of doing that , I would drive to desert industries with friends and just take what I wanted. Well, I would go in the dressing room, put it on, and leave. I didn't know this. Yeah, it's so but there was this before is security camer as? Or like No this was certainly they had security cameras. I think they just had very lax security there . And it was it's kind of a justifiable crime where you're like, well, they got this for free. Right. They're charging way too much. This t shirt should not be three dollars. Right, right And then your family's don't, you know, like we're constantly donating more to the place So in my mind, it was a victimless crime. It does feel I have to say I'm not it's more like again it's like an ethical question but I do but I also like just the principle of it but if we like break it down who is being hurt. Right, absolutely nobody. Would you have gone to a chain like a retail store? I think that's scarier because they care more. Oh, so not about whether it's right or wrong. Oh, oh, who cares if it's right or wr ? We're post writer We are way past that. No, I for me it was it didn't feel wrong at all. Yeah. For whatever reason. For the thrift store one. For the thrift store one, it didn't feel wrong. It felt exciting. Yeah. And it felt like, well, I'll probably end up donating this back at some point. And your friends were this was with friends. Friends were doing it. Yeah. Every high schooler was doing it. Well maybe not, every high school er. Yeah. I shouldn't whatever. Some people had morals, but it does , but it does feel like from I don't like a regular store, I actually Yeah, morally, I think that there are plenty of stores where I'm like, yeah, shoplift from them too. They're equally bad or whatever . And I'm not speaking for Ellie here. No, no, no, no, no. Look at me looking at every camera. No, that's right. I apparently have never stolen anything so I'm saying. You're an angel. I really don't think I must have stolen something off Think about it. And I also am acting like, oh, I never but I've done well stealing is scary It's so scary because not that I've done it but it does it's scary and with good reason the fear that you might get caught there may be consequences . And that's a good thing to do from doing it. But also, yeah, I think even if there were no victim, I still think I would be like, but it's wrong. Right. I guess right . Yeah I the one like real experience with shoplifting I had was my brother my mom had taken us all shopping to something called Shopco and my brother changed the price on like a model plane or something and my mom bought it unwittingly. And then the what they dragged my poor mom through in the security room is I mean it, was beyond Brutalize this poor mother. She's got four children and no, it's just like just what? So it was really traumatic situation. How did they was this on the same visit or they called Retna? It was all the same is it. They on ca theught us way out . That's absurd. At Shopco. Did your brother ever admit to he must have admitted, but he was probably nine or two. Oh, that's what a waste of resources. No, I can't imagine. And it's, you know a little like slap on the wrist and your poor mother. I know. The stakes couldn't have been higher for Shopcot. And they probably lost three dollars. Yeah. It was one of these things. I think this is like a new thing among retailers. Most of the time if it's like a low key thing, they're like, just leave them alone. Yeah, it's a waste of resources. Well, and I also think right with all the like self checkout, that they have calculated a certain number of people are just going to steal take things . And there's really nothing we can do. No , it's worth it to not pay human beings to do the job. That's what that's the math. They've worked out and I have to I don't know which one. Oh , wait, do I know which one you choose? You choose not checking a self check. Oh, I do whatever. Oh, okay. I'm kind of some places you kind of have no option at this point. At target, it's like there's this one hairied employee who has fifty person people they're doing and then there's the self checkout. I know. The other day it was taking so long in line for the human I was like, don't be overt just but like I did want to move over to the self checkout . I had to go to the person because of the security They're not tags, they're security whatever things on the clothes. So I went to the but I was trying to do it so like discreetly so as not to insult , like get them in trouble for going too slow or something. And it was just it's it's fun at first because you get to zap And then it's just a it's I don't know what it is. I don't run a business. Again, I guess the math shakes out, but it's just a bummer. Right. It's just kind of they're just a continual bummer among industries at this point. Right. So then if you feel so sometimes something doesn't scan, it does run through my head, like just take it. But you know that but then you're on you see your you see your face right here Yes unflattering portrait you're like look at you you hideous thief it's like that's why it's there yeah just to remind you look Just at your a self. What are you doing? How has it come to this? Stealing from Target . Anyway, and then and then I never do. I just never I actually will say those the thing where it shows your face almost looks like a cool mus ic video or something. Ah then you're hearing cool music in your head and you're thinking I'm gonna I'm gonna do something cool. I'm gonna steal. Yes. I look cool on camera. You're so right. It actually is counterproductive. I need to make those more unf lattering something . Or have like a photo of an attractive person next to it. So you're comparing yourself, you're like, what am I do I become that? Yeah, exactly Yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. Well, I do there is something I do know about speaking of just crimes that shouldn't be forgiven, etc . Ellie, I was excited to have you here today. I've been doing the podcast for a long time . I've done a lot of episodes. I think we've probably had two duds. I know we've had two duds. I was hoping we wouldn't have a third. The podcast is called I said No Gifts . So I was a little surprised after the billion emails that were exchanged , et cetera that you arrived with a gift . I did . And I know you said no gifts. I didn't know if you were just being polite. It's three hundred episodes you've done. Right. So the three hundred. You should be three hundred celebrated. So this is almost unrelated . You're just bringing it as a celebration . That's exactly right. Congratulations to you. A gift giving is very popular where I come from. And I thought you should be given a gift, but I seem to have offended you and I'm really sorry. So you've gotten caught up in some gift giving fad ? Yeah, I mean, I think it's more than a fad. I think it's like across cultures, people give gifts.. It's here to stay I think it's here to stay. Well, should we open it here on the podcast? Yeah, I think you should. If you're okay. Okay . 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Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just fifteen dollars a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgement . Anyway, give it a try at mint mobile dot com slash switch. Upront payment of forty five dollars for three months plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required, intro rate for first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See firms at MitMobile. com . Thank you for being a good sport about it. Of course., I try I'm working on that in therapy. I've now blocked myself on the camera for a minute and I'm sure everyone's freaking out and we're gonna leave it for just a minute just so people are sweating. Is it going to leave it here the whole episode? The gift bag is very big. Yeah. It's probably my size. And it might be your size. And you'll see when you get the gift . Oh no, you're blocking me. Now you'll see when you get the gift . This is a thrill of and just blocking cameras. It is I'm a huge prop comic . And so I know, but it the gift is half the size. Okay bad. And it's in this gorgeous kind of mint green with polka dots. I think it's from Target. Oh, it's from Target. You filled this with items, other items that were also sold. That was a famous shoplifting thing. What somebody in my high school stole a suit case and then put other objects in it. The amount of things. And then one of the I'm sorry to go on attention. All I want to hear stall a used burger king polo , then use that to go work at Burger King. Wait, this person is amazing. Wait, was this from the thrift store? long did he work? Already? No. No, wait, what? This person stole all kinds of things inside a stolen suitcase , walked out of the thrift store with a suitc ase. One of those things was a Burger King polo. Then he put that on and went to Burger King and worked behind the counter to work at Burger King. Untrained? Untrained, just like for a period. No, this is this is a remarkable team. That's unbelievable. Teens can surprise you. The enemy if you let 'em, wait, give him a chance. Yeah, give him a chance. Give teens a chance. Are you in touch with him? I'm not in touch with him. He was like a friend of a friend. I wonder why you' t probably think works at Burger King. That was his dream job . He would do whatever it took to work at Burger King. He couldn't get a job the regular way. So he dressed as an employee and showed up. That's brilliant. Maybe I should try that. Free time. Okay, let's get into this. We've got tissue . Okay , do you want to do that on your mind? Yeah, I'll do it on my side . Oh gorgeous . Okay, I'm reaching in. Wait, is this a garbage can? It's a garbage can . What does this say? Oh Sarius street name New York Street name. That's exactly right. So it's a tufer. There's two in one here because you're a writer. I'm a writer. Sometimes you have what I would say thriving industry. Yeah , never been better. Never been better . I don't doubt that a lot of your first drafts are perfect, but sometimes writers have first drafts that they have to toss in your drawer. So that's a trash can for any discarded first draft. It's just immediately attacking my ability . For your first your, second , your third, your fourth draft. Your writing is garbage. Here's where you should. This is where your career belongs. This is where it is in the tank in the garbage . This is what your career's missing. This is it. A garbage . No, no, no, all joking aside , it's for the first drafts. Okay, right . So then you do the first draft and you and you say, okay, I'm going to make these edits. And then you entered the edits and the second draft and then you discard the first draft. Right. It's all great writers discard their first dress . So that's what that's for. But the main reason is because of the New York connection. Of course. So for those of you listening not watching , there are New York places where this trash can ninth street . Brooklyn . Borough Hall of Borough Hall . Kings Highway, a place I've never highway. Interesting. That's also the name of an diner in Palm Springs that could be doing a better job. Yeah. Sorry, King's Highway, you could you have a beautiful environment. Let's get the food up to speed. Yeah. King's Highway, I've never heard of King's Highway in my life in New York, but I guess it's there Coney Island, J Street, Berlhall, Brooklyn twice. Now the reason I thought I ran out of names? No, Brooklyn. They literally ran out of Brooklyn. Oh, let's do Brooklyn again. Quite Street Yeah, yeah , Coney Island no is only other ones. It's they certainly ran out of names. The reason I thought, okay, New York trash can bridger is because we know each other from Yes, that's where we met . And I don't know how much time you spent total in New York. I mean, when I was working on Kim m wasy like a year total. I then regrettably made the decision not to go back, which was whatever. I want to get into that. Yeah, we should get into really well. And I don't want to bring back some pain ful memories. In New York, I all hear all now that I know your time in New York sp isent weeping on the subway, I do apologize for bringing back those memories . But the other thing is when we first corresponded about this show yes , we had you were in New York. Yeah, and I thought that you were in New York because I had reached out, like, would you want to do an episode in New York? And like a monster, I did not reply , right? Like a monster. I started I mean, the word has been spread and there's no taking aback. No . I' reallyve I've made a mess of your name. And you as well you should. I think it was I don't know what it was. It was like a absolutely just did not respond for like months. No, not months. Maybe you were you were better. Yeah. Thanks for seeing that But I was thinking, oh, you live in New York because it was I thought, well, he's in New York. What , okay, where does he live? And so then so I thought, okay, our first correspondence was about New York. Then we realized, oh, we're both in Los Angeles . And then that's what ultimately brought us together. So there's a lot of symbolism, I think. Right. Of course with the New York Street names. Right. At some point, it feels like you thought I may even be a drifter Where does he live? No one can pinpoint where this person actually is on a map. He's running from . He seems to be in Florida at the King's Highway Diner. No, that's Palm Spring. Palm Spring When we should King's Highway, you've got a nice environment. Let's bring up the food to speak. I says it again . Sorry . I hold them to just it's a disappointment every time. No, I get it. I wish the food was better. And it's just a diner. It's a diner attached to the Ace Hotel. Yeah. It's an old Denny's. It's a beautiful environment. I wish they could just bring up the food to speed. I'm sorry Kings Highway, you've got a beautiful environment. Come on . And he keeps saying, bring it off . Um so yeah, that I love New Y.or Ik don't know what your experience. I love New York in some way. I can't exist in New York. I have a hard time existing in New York. That's all I want to hear. Why? I mean, I get it. I'm too fragile. I'm a fragile baby No , I grew up in Utah, which is more car culture than moved to LA, which was an easy enough shift . And then when I came and worked on Kimmy, you know, like weather's a little bit more extreme . Every moment you're working to be alive . There are plenty of wonderful things. I mean, bakery wise they've got us beat here in LA. Every time I'm there I'm e soating many baked goods in New York. Oh yeah. Incredible. That's incredible. Yeah . But I was there in April and you know, when you go in the fall or spring in New York, it's very seductive. You think I should live here for the rest of my life. But this April , the first three days was probably ninety degrees and then the next three days was like thirty eight to forty degrees which was kind of nice , all right, so these two weather's here, you don't want to leave your apartment. Right. Right. Do you think there is a fundamental like hardiness in I do think though that kind of those that adversity is good for the spirit. But I could be wrong . I think it probably sure , but it's not for it's very hard . It's just hard. It's hard. You I just and leaving Utah, one of the big things I didn't want to experience ever again, of course was the winter . And so having winter in any form for me is just too much. I've become you. I was on my way. I've been on my way to becoming you, but I cannot, it's true. I cannot tolerate winter anymore. I don't know what happened. Well, it's miserable. It's just awful. It's and in New York, you're out in it. Yes. So that's very feet are wet. The bottom of your pants is frequently wet. Yes . And they're like the brief windows where it looks nice and then the rest of it's gray slush. I know. I know. And then the only thing and this winter was like apocalyptic, just frozen the whole year. I guess. That's what I've seen or heard . But I think the snow just stayed there for three straight months. But which I guess that happens in Chicago or something all the time, but I do feel at the end of each day you come home and you've earned it and you've just earned it. Oh it's interest ing. Yeah. Yeah, but then what have you earned the right to be exhausted and fall asleep on the couch? I know that. No, you're so right. It's a love hate place . If you by the way, by the way, if you would come back and be like, I loved my time there, I would be singing it. I'd be like, I know there's no . course Of you can convince somebody that they love New York and like I mean there are so many incredible things . Yes. But yeah just for me I think I may have mentioned this on this podcast at some point but I've kind of like come to the realization that if somewhere is fun to vis it, it's probably not as much fun to live there. Oh, that's so insightful. Because LA I don't think is like a necessarily fun place to visit. No one's like, let's go to LA. Like you don't take the family to when I see a family that's visiting LA, I'm like, What are you doing here? Polite with deepest respect disagree . Los Angeles proper, you think is like a fun okay and let me also preface this with like there's so much good food here. I love LA Perva. Yeah. I know you do. But when somebody comes from and they're not familiar with it, they're like, I don't know where to stay. I got it. I don't know what I should do. And I think it's like a harder city to access. Whereas with New York, it's like every moment you're there, something looks neat. There's great food everywhere and it's just easier . Right, right. I think coming here as a to Los Angeles, I'm trying to help in the tourist country is not a bad idea because there are so many like there's so many sites that you have read I have not been to, but that are, you know, like bus rides but tour buses. Oh yeah, being the stars homes and going to Universal Excel. So there's and there's I went on a trip here when I was in college with my roommate. We just came here. Isn't that so weird? My roommate and I did come to Los Angeles to just come check it out. Yeah . And more than that, our first celebrity sighting happened, Gary Coleman? Oh my God, RIP. R the hellpi. In Utah . Is that right? Yeah, he lived with a woman and he collected brains and was she Mormon? She was Mormon. No, I just remember she had a small teeth. I that she had red hair too. She did have red hair. Yeah. Either of us could play her in a tea . That was teeth. I don't want to but did she kill him? Oh, I don't think she killed. Oh, I thought she killed Did she Ellis look into whether or not she killed him ? That would be a good thing to know. I thought you pushed him down the street. She seemed like it did seem like a tough rel ationship. Very complicated. And ultimately that's I mean it. And we wish her the best. Yes. It was ruled as an accidental death, but according to Holl aywood reporter thing from July of twenty twenty five, she didn't do so well on the polygraph. So twenty twenty five, they're looking into it this time. Wow. People still care. People are right people right here were cracking the case. Wow. What? So was she roaming free when she should be behind bars, it seems? Why are they bringing up the polygraph test now? Because it was a long time ago that he died, right? Unfortunately, yes. At least a decade ago or something. Yeah . That's disturbing. I don't know what I mean, when these things are revealed years, decades later, you think, what were you doing the whole time? Right. But in any event, I came here on vacation and enjoyed it. So but I do know you have a very good point which is visiting a place and it's fun is a message not to live there perhaps . So I do see what you're saying about New York. I do want to retire there though for sure. Oh, interesting. Oh , do you think it'd be easy to retire? Yeah, to be like an elderly person, it seems like you kind of it's just like a city that it's like living in a retirement home but it happens to be a city as well. Exactly. There's services everywhere. You can walk, you can go down to the street level and there's the grocery store. Yes. That's exactly right. A retirement village right there . And you would want to live in the city as a retire. Yeah. Interesting. For sure. Yeah, I think that I would be a senior that died in the cold, you know , or in the heat . So I don't know that that's for me. I think I'm stuck in sunny southern California . Although the more the time passes, I'm like, Well, I'm going certainly we'll all die of the heat here. It is atrocious. Yeah. And in La Kin Yata, where I am , which to listeners who don't or watch viewers, it's by Passada. Oh yeah, I've been to La Ken La Kin Yata. Yeah, it's not to say. It is so it is so tricky to say Lock and Yada. It sounds like you're saying lock and yada. Lock and yada. Yeah, it's a cop duo . Lock and Yada. CBS . It's fifteen degrees hotter there all the time. Anyway, it's a great place to live. It is claiming so many good restaurants . Yes you're saying yes. It's known for its restaurants. We should say some nice things about Los Angeles. Wonderful coffee. It's great coffee. I think the people people are surface level polite. Yes . I've managed to kind of like remove most of the total psychos for my life. Oh , so there are some psychos but there are psychos everywhere. There's psychos everywhere, but how do you can't remove the like stranger psycho? Oh yeah, they'll keep coming in and out, but you know, I want to know the man blocking the door wide but he was a dad. He was a dad. He had like a smaller child that could be standing and he was like holding them. And I was like, I was ready to open the door, but then he stood in front of and like let himself in and was like, sir, I was ready to be polite here . And now you've been a horrible example to your son. That's gonna be a bad age. It was because he is it because he had a kid and he could do it all? I think it was a do it all situation where I was just like, you're fine, yeah. You're about to get a latte What are we trying to prove for ? That's exactly right. My probably my biggest problem with anyone is when they are just like are not aware of the space they're taking up or are and are doing nothing about it . So that's something I've struggled with here. I do feel like in New York, there is a sh ared sense of space and people just understand it. I'm not saying that's like, oh wow, what a skill or like we're so superior, but I do think that there's a flow just because you're navig ating at twenty four seven the streets with other people. And I've noticed so many times it's I don't think it's me, although it could be. I don't want to like dismiss that idea, but a Ralph Soreta, whatever like store or parking lot situation, there's a problem with flow . Right. Specifically pedestrian tracks. Like absolutely. Right. Yeah. And I'm like, no, I'm walking this way. And then I find myself doing that like so often . Yeah, I think probably because people are frequently not in shared spaces. I think that's it. Which is part of why I love being here is not a shared space, but I'm also trained in the art of being aware of other human bodies and just like being polite and getting out of the way. I know. I don't know. How do you how are you doing like when you do encounter the psychos? What do you do? I'm just I see the if it goes too far I start making like sounds or like I was at Found Coffee again and I love the place but this was another experience where a woman had plugged her or her computer charger into the wall, but she was at the table over. So this one was at my table and so it was it was just shoving into my back, which I would be okay with if she said, I'm sorry, I have a low battery. Totally. I would be like not a problem. Not a problem. I'm happy I can help somehow. Yeah. Or I directly switch with you if that helps. No acknowledgement whatsoever And I saw when she was working on her computer. It was a bad photoshop job. She should probably consider other careers. Let the battery die. Yeah, let the battery die sweet hurt . That's so did you just did you say that kept moving in big ways and no acknowledgement whatsoever. That you and I not only have similar complexions but similar worldviews because that is just so infuriating . And it's like I don't I mean, have you heard about the Letthum Theory? Yes, of course, of course. Of course. Is it that well known? It's extremely well known . The way that thing took over TikTok and Instagram , she was every where telling everybody to let them. That's crazy. That's not, I don't know, I have a lot of thoughts about that. That's like nothing new, but I'm happy she found a cat's raise , but what? It's crazy. It is a sort of thing where it's like, oh, so you're just saying something that and actually kind of promoting something that's more complicated than letting people just off the it's very comfortable . I should try doing it with my kids when they're like being crazy or annoying and I'll be like, well they're like I was about to say something horrible but they're like in danger. They're like running with scissors. I'm like, What ? They're bothering me. It has its limits. Right. And letting letting someone plug their thing in such a way that it's jutting into your back is an example of let them doesn't work. No, it's like really tell them. Oh, interesting. That's me as Mel Robins, T E L them. It's the letter start it. Yes , tell them. Turn it. What do we turn? Turn that around. Yeah, turn let that around around ter. Time to turn let around and tell them . I think I'm gonna do it. I got a big pair of black glasses and tell them. I love this. I really like it. Wow, I think it is something. I think we need more tells them. She was saying and I don't know if this is big on TikTok, but people are getting tattoos of let them . And so you'll be the first. I'll get tell them. Perfect. I'll do it. And I'll be like, tell them. This is my career safety net. Let's tell them . People are getting letham tattoos That's a little early. It's just too early That's like getting Atkins diet tattoos. It's like no let a few years pass and see if you like the idea still. Crazy . They saw they just latched on to it so fast. Everyone's desperate for something. You have to have something to hang on. I know. Yeah. In this specific example, it's letting them. But the let them kind of went hand in hand. I think there was before that, there was a lot of sorry if I'm too much for you which is Have you ever been called a lot or whatever. Yes. I'm sorry . No, sometimes you are too much, and that's a problem for other people. There are limits. We need to edit behavior in formation . The example, and you need to cut me off if I'm talking too much. Oh my god. , likewise. Yeah , yeah, I will. No. The example I read, I read Part of Letsum. I listen to it. This is reader's experience for this book, I think. I think so . Yes . The example she gives in the introduction is that someone is coughing behind her on a we're talking about Mel Robinson right now. You don't know. I knew you knew. Oh, okay. And I know but I mean, but so when I say she, that's who. Okay. And so someone's coughing behind her on a plane and she's like, I'm gonna get sick. This is so annoying. Like she tried glaring at them through the gap in the seats. And then finally, she was like, I'm sorry. She's like, what do I always tell people? Let them. Some decides it came about something like that. So she pulled up her like turtleneck and covered her face and she was like, cough . No yes . No. She's like, if I get sick, I get sick. I'm like, that is I don't agree. That's actually the worst example of them. This is clearly clearly post COVID, but it was like a great I respect this woman. I don't agree with that example. That's a wild example. Yeah you tell them or tell the flight attendant. Yes. And by the way, by the way, I don't want to again, I don't want to like mischaracterize it. She may have told the person or asked the person to stop and he may have either not understood or like agreed to disagree or whatever it was, but kept coughing. I love agreeing to disagree. She just happy. Yeah . It's absurd.. Wow But I think that I don't know. I think for your own sanity you have to say, I can't control this anymore. Right. This person's coughing. Right. But it feels defeatist. Yeah. Tell the flight attendant ask to be moved . There are other things let them. Yeah, we've got a there's a balance. Mel, I'm coming for you. We're not gonna be telling them from now . Wow , I found the antidote to I love it. It's incredible. It was like right in front of us the whole time. We just needed a mirror. Let me ask you as a parent, this is another space occupying thing that drives me crazy is when someone has a child between like three to seven and there's a line behind them for whatever service and they decide right now is the time for like the child to learn to use the credit card or like to pay or to like use the soda fountain or whatever . I understand you want your child to, but like when there are people behind you , let's maybe we find a different time to do this. I couldn't agree with you more. Okay . What if I strongly disagreed? And we got here's what I the first thing that came to mind when you said that is I'm thinking of the pits. And I'm thinking of, I don't know if residents or below a resident . It's a teaching hospital. So they have to learn literally on the job. That's how they learn the stakes could not be higher and they're doing giving your child the opportunity or to like order for themselves or like thank the cat. The worst and I've found myself guilty on this but guilty of this, but when you are teaching your kid manners in real time and you're like thank the cashier and they're like and then you're like, no, no, no, no, thank the cashier. And the cashier's like, I do not care. Yeah, please. I have a job site. Oh my God, it's awful . It's so self centered and it makes as someone who's also received this like say thank you for having me over or whatever. You're like, I don't you're now I have to wait around and wait for your you start to feel like the bad guy Oh one hundred I'm sorry that they've put us in this situation Yeah, do not do that. And also there's a there's a like look that a parent will get where it's like, I'm doing it right, you know ? Oh , and I feel bad because as a non parent, anytime I say something about parenting, but this is one where I'm just like, let's let's again find the balance. I agree with everything. Oh my gosh, that was also something I was gonna bring you by the way. What? Oh child's what You're gonna learn. It's harder than you think. I pull out say it was anymore It was, what are they called diffusers? Read diffusers of balance. I'll give that to you on the six hundredth episode. You'll forget about it by then . Just about finding balance . Oh, right. Yeah, I mean, that is in my own life, I could be probably better at that. We all could I feel like you've probably got a nice balance. I feel like you're joyful, happy person that always feels like we know that's not true, but no, we know who's who is that. But I feel like you are at least headed in the other direction. You know what? We are supposed to be like we are lucky. I don't know what . It just felt like a safe thing to say. Ellie, we're blessed Gratitude. Attitude is the attitude . Ellie, thank you so much for being here. We're out of time . Are we? Can you imagine ? No, I did. And I was like, that's okay. And then I was gonna like on the drive home. Such a crazy end to a bucket. I was ready for it. It did seem like that's how he ends it. I haven't seen him in other shows that way, but special occasion I'm just going to three hundred, he's out. Lose my mind. Tell them, tell them it's over. You hear the phrase vibe coding and might naturally assume the worst, but it turns out to be a genuinely useful tool for building a website . And with Wix Harmony, you can build a site quickly while still making it your own. Wix has introduced Wix Harmon y, a vibe coder for websites that lets you type what you want and generate a site ready to use right away , complete with forms, payments, security, and more built in. As you create, business power gets wired in. Wix will set everything up so that it's ready to go from day one and you can focus on doing your thing. And Wix Harmony doesn't require AI for everything. 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It couldn't have been a shock. You didn't call it. I keep saying characterize, you didn't describe it as a shock. But when you said it was like the Olympics, it was like, what? No, it was the next step for whatever. Yeah, you're just being a nice person and I'm analyzing. No, but it was just one of those things where I like when I worked at Jimmy Kim, it was this incredible thing. It was so incredible. I was like, I never thought I would make it this far. I'll be at the shop for the rest of my life. And then this job, which was like, I hate almost all of television . And so to be like, Oh, literally the show I want to work on, I get to go work on. I just get that completely and write jokes, which is more and more rare. Yes . And then it was just like such a lovely group of people. Yes . So it was just a lovely thing. And ultimately, a thing that kept me from coming back was the idea of like going back to New York in November, I think . And it was this thing where it was like seems I don't know this might be a saying that people other than Titus Titus lovely Titus lovely Titus says but he always says I overstand. Is that a overstand? Yes. You understand even more. Even more . And I've only ever heard it from him. So I wanted to credit him, but apparently , I'm trying to think is overstand something that came from the show that Titus, the character said? Oh, I know he just said it. That's something he says real life. Did you see it in the show? I don't know. Blurs. Art . Life is art is life is life. Yes, yes. And so we don't know where the two separate, but I do overstand coming back in November to New York, it's no joke. So dark . It's so dark. It's really , I wish you had come back because we were all there, I guess. How long did it go? But whatever it was Yeah. There's another thing where that was a miracle show where you like worked for more than ten minutes. You know, they went for several months writing the show rather than like write, thirteen episodes in a week , thirteen episodes in a week. Right. I think it was like a normal schedule. I think it was a normal schedule. And thirteen seemed like short then. Oh, right. Anyway. Yeah, it did seem short then. And now it's like, well, seven episodes. You're lucky to get eight. Yeah Write on an entire sitcom and eight episodes . Yeah But yeah, but why but I want to also clarify what I meant. I just meant about that being the Olymp ics or whatever . I meant like, of course you would have that job, that's a good fit. And also you were just being grateful. Yes, that's very nice. But it did. The stakes seemed incredibly high because rarely do you work with people where you've seen their names I know, you know, it's just like yeah, it's a very rare thing. So initially that was such an intimidating place because everyone was like at the absolute top of their game. I never went to the writer's room for mostly that reason. I said this is an intimidating place to be. And also they made all those jokes about actors coming into the writer's room on thirty rock that I was writing . I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna be fodder so I 'm not falling into your trap. Trap. You made jokes about this in your show . No, it was just it is yeah, so those it's it does feel like the Olympics all that to say. Oh, I wish that show was still going. Whateveratever. Wh. What are you gonna do? I you know, I don't know what you're gonna do. And I keep thinking, oh, maybe maybe every show now seems to come back. So maybe another twenty years we'll have a reunion . Yeah, a reunion that's like ten seasons. Yeah. The ten season reunion. Yeah. I don't know. It goes and goes. Well, I have my garbage can. I'll be able to throw whatever I want in here . It's very tasteful. I think we should play a game. Okay. We're going to play a game called Gift or Curse, but I need a number between one and ten from you. Four. Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. Okay . So right now you can recommend, promote do whatever you want on the microphone. I'll be right back. Okay . I'm going to promote a show that isn't out yet, so you have to remember it. It's called Elephant and Piggy, and it's an animated show and I am the voice of Piggy, by the way, not to like out my husband, but literally two days ago, he's like, Which voice are you? And I was like, I posted about this on Instagram. It says Ellie Kemper is piggy. So I repeated that information to him . Jerk. And Titus, our old friend, is voicing elephant. So it's based on a book series by the Great Mo Willums, and that show that I've spent five minutes talking about just now will come out at some point. Where? On Paramount Plus? Paramount plus OK? I think. I mean, no, I know, I know . I mean But I mean,, I just suddenly thought is it paramount plus or just paramount. Right. I just do you ever watch Couples Therapy ? No. That's that a recommended? Incredible show. You have to watch it. Yeah, why don't I watch it? If you like it. You won't stop. I mean, you'll start and you'll just blow through the entire thing. I'm gonna embarrass myself. When did it come? It's like in the last five to six years it's this, therapist Orna , incredible person and her advisor , Virginia, who I love. And it's just Is this reality? This is a reality show. It's more like documentary reality and she just meets with couples and you see their couples therapy and it's so fascinating. Oh and it also very calming for the most part because of the like mood or because it's reassuring. The mood , Orna is such a lovely presence , and it's also reassuring sometimes you're watching these couples and you're like , well, at least that's not my relationship. You see some of the relationships people are in, you're like dogs That's an unsolvable problem yes and you're trapped with the worst person alive . So it's nice to watch as a couple and you think'll you'll be so grate ful for your partner because just wait they don't do that thing yeah. I can't wait. That's gonna be a great show. It's great. Of course I have nothing to watch on TV and then the new season of it came out and I watched all of it in less than twenty four hours. Now I'm back to be mad at TV. No , it's a tough cycle. It is that's really hard. The pit? The pit, I'm too I need to get over it. No, you don't, but I'd like to eat something while I'm watching TV . And I was that's for the nine hundredth episode. I'm gonna bring you snacks. Because that was my other thing. I love eating snacks. What kind of snacks would you Okay. Animal crackers, teddygrams, like little things that you haven't had a teddy gram in a while. Of course, why would you 're a grown man? Well, you'd be surprised at things I do as a crack. Yeah, yeah. They're delightful. It's just 'cause they're bright sized. Right. Do you have a favorite Teddy Graham flavor? Honey? Oh, honey's a good one. Honey's just, it feels classic. It's kind of the original . I think so. Yeah. Then they kind of got crazy. Yeah. I like a chocolate chip one. I don't know if those are still in the market. They are in the market. They taste funny, though. Oh, they like they don't know what's in 'em. Okay, yeah. That certainly isn't chocolate that you don't think sort of dirt or pebble they put in here. I've got a maybe I'll circle back to see if I like those anymore. Yeah, you may as well. So you're a snack person while you're watching TV. Gosh, I should have brought the snacks. Yeah, yes, I am that's the reason I watch TV. Of course. Right. So you can't do that with the pin . I muscle through. Okay. I do. I don't look, I mean, they go out of their way, I think sometimes to be gross. Right. That's not fair. That's no. No, no, no, they should give like a squeamish warning . Yeah, there should be the screen should flash There should be like a siren that plays something gross is going to happen. I think that would why you should just like wait for the camera's like we're about to do that but it's it yeah there's, not what can you watch the snacks? Well, the comeback. Oh, the comeback. Yeah . There's plenty of television shows you could. I think you could eat popcorn while watching the pit though. I think you want a dry snack while you're watching that because there are a lot of wet gross things that happen. I know, but I don't eat wet snacks, do you? I don't. Exclusively wet snacks . What are they called? Gusers. Oh, gushers. Oh, we've had gushers on this podcast , they were disgusting. Have you had one recently? No . That should be expelled from the market. We've like we've moved on from that flavor. They were revolting Everything about it feels toxic. Texturally, the flavor is absolutely vial . The name is tough to get over . Everything is but clearly people buy them. I mean there's demand or a company has just forgotten that they make them. Yeah, they just keep cranking because they're true like I'm like, what parent is buying their I think there was a period when you're like, Oh this is a fruit snack. I put it in totally lunch for school or whatever. But now we know it's probably worse than candy. I think with so many of those snacks, I think that's the case. Right. But popcorn feels safe. Well, the kernels, but I just mean for pit. We find out you're just eating kernels. Unpopped kernels, like a bird . I like snacks. Tweet, tweet . It's like eating curls. Your floor is filthy Tebras everywhere . Elley. I like the pit . Squash . Okay, we're going to play Gift Orchurse. I'm going to put this on the ground because just okay. So we have full view of my laptop for some reason I don't know why I did that now I'm upset with myself . We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. You will tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why ? I' Andll then tell you you if're right or wrong because there are correct answers. First, this is from one of our Patreon listeners, Sarah, gift or a curse when a family member or friend gives an honest review of your cooking . Yeah, that's for sure a curse because oh my gosh, that's a curse because you took time to make something. Oh my gosh , sorry, I have a very personal example. Yeah, I cook for my kids and I'm not a good cook or a great cook, but I can put together food and I follow the recipe and it's fine . And they do give me hon est reviews and it nothing I've said this a few times. I feel like nothing makes me angrier, but this makes me very hurt and annoyed that I spent time preparing food that is then criticized as not being tasty. So I think it's a curse. It makes everyone mad . I think it's a I'm sorry, what was her name? Sarah I think Sarah that it is a curse. And by the way, even if it were an adult family member saying, I think this could have, you know, more salt , I would say I would take that as a I think it's a curse . Oh, Ellie, wrong. Oh, that's a gift. You're running from positive feedback. You're running from your critics . I think that you are afraid of getting better . I think that ultimately you need to put your ego aside and say,, Look I've made nothing but bad meals for my children. They were right . I'm torturing these poor children . And instead of taking their feedback and improving , I'm the martyr . You're always the martyr. Yeah . And I think that you've got to rethink that. I am not mad at that . I am listening to what you're saying. Okay, you're hearing me. I'm hearing you and I think there's something that can be extracted. People love to hear honest feedback about their cooking. Okay. You spend hours of your day putting together the meal and someone says, well, this would have been better with nuts. Yeah. And you say , Thank you . Thank you for saying that . Thank you . Okay, we've gotten one wrong so far. Let's see. Zero. zero. Zero, right? Trying to be nice by saying, you've gotten one wrong . Okay, the second one is from a listener named Lucy . Let's see, Gift or a Curse Concert Encourse . Oh , I think that's oh, well, it depends . Okay , I'm going to say that's a gift. I think it's a gift because if you're at the concert, you're clearly a fan and what could be nicer than the performer giving you some extra , I guess love, some extra attention, some extra songs, some extra art , which is what you came there to enjoy. Again, it's hard because it's like the performer want to do it on court, of course they love attention. So it is a gift . Correct I think they're a gift. I think that they've gotten a lot of , you know, people are always like, it's too much. I hate sitting there and clapping and waiting for them to come back on. I think you have to reframe this in your mind. There are two good things about a concert encore. First of all, if you aren't totally ex hausted by the end and don't want to go home desperately, there's a little extra music for you to listen to. If you do want to leave, now you can get out before everybody else gets out You get to your car first. This is something people forget about. Yep. If you don't want it, just leave. And you seem kind of cool. Like everyone watches you leave like, well, I guess they're just better than this. Uh huh . It seems like they have standards . Yeah . And you're on your way to your car. You get out sooner. So you just have to choose what you want there. Okay, as you have done many times in this conversation, you've offered some insight that I didn't have. You have the option to leave. You have the option to leave? Yep, that's my second book. Yes. You have the option to leave. Tell them, you have the option to leave . But that is either you stay for the encore ? Enjoy it or you leave? I like that a lot, a lot of people have been saying there's too much clapping . I really do think that people have a problem withc Enores sometimes. I think they're like, oh , I have to stand here and wait for them to come back on stage. I understand the little show of it of like we know you're coming back . We probably could cut that. We could add that element . But then there it's part of the framework of the thing. Yeah. If there's not the phony encore thing , then we don't know if it's really and then people become confused. Maybe the band could just say that's the end of the set. Now we're going to play two more songs. Yes . And at then everyone gets to go home. Let's set some boundaries and the people know what they're that would be fine with me. Right. Yes. The fake whatever suspense is not necessary. And it can start to feel a little sad where it's like people aren't clapping that much. How hard is that? And there's just the expectation that they're coming out and it's like, well, then the concept of encore has kind of been lost. Right . But you've gotten one right so far . So I'm gonna focus on one of them. Let's be very careful on this next one. This is from a listener named Douglas. Gift or a curse . Oh, this is another concert one actually . When the band makes the audience sing the chorus of a song . Oh , okay , I think that's a gift, Douglas, because and I'm really thinking about the Billy Joel documentary I saw earlier this year and when everybody would sing piano man together . And I just that's the only way I would have known that people sometimes sing piano man together is by watching the Billy Joel documentary I think. it is okay. I think you and I might find it annoying just because what is it? Not everyone's on key, and it's something about it is annoying, but ultimately it's a gift because it's shared humanity. And we all nice that we by the way, I'm not talking about the Eras tour. I think that is a whole . What's happening there? I just feel like I didn't attend one, but I think that's its own category. She doesn't sing a word. She did a big reveal. She just stands on stage. She's facing the whole . She puts the microphone out to the crowd for three hours. They're like, it was an amazing groundbreaking tour . But I do think you think everyone sings the whole time and it's joyful. But where am I? I'm all over the map with this. I think it's ultimately a gift people sharing it's something joyful. Wrong. Oh, come on wrong , wrong. This is something , that's a curse . People the band asking the audience to sing along is such a scam . I'm not here to not hear you sing . I'm not here . And it's the chorus the best part. And now suddenly a bunch of annoying strangers are singing the song around me . I'm not participating. I'm not going to participate. So I'm standing there . What am I supposed to do in this moment? Right? Other than just be furious that I've been ripped off. Right. This band has my money and they're not doing they're not putting in the work. That's right. Yep, I completely see it that way. Well, you got one out of three . That's a third. That's a third. But it's not zero. It's not zero and we are so happy for that. I am I am blessed . I'm too unstressed what is it? Too blessed to be stressed. Too blessed to be stressed. Yeah . Ellis, do you have a gift or a curse? Oh, I can. Oh, Ellis has a gift or curse where they're going to give us a thing and we both have to speak to it. And then Ellis will have an answer. I don't know if it'll be right or wrong. I'll decide . It sounds right. Ellis, does that sound right to you? Yes, yes. Okay, this is gonna be a little bit of a weird one, but we're gonna try it. Okay, when something funny happens in a movie and your friend wants to make eye contact with you as they laugh . Oh , do you want to speak to this first ? To me, it's obvious. What? It was It is a curse straight from hell because you just are having a good time to make eye contact. It's like can you mean ? I think it's a curse straight up. I agree. I think that's a curse. I've had it happen to me before. Very rarely, but you feel their eyes and you're like , you can just hear me laughing . You don't need more confirmation. What like is this a secret between us now? I understand why we're is it from a movie or something you're watching? Yeah, you're sitting there with this has never happened to you with a friend where something funny is happening and they're almost like confirming with you through eye contact. That's right what you're talking about, Alice, right? Correct. Yes. Oh hell . You've had that . Oh, I've had apparently enough that I've like developed an opinion . That's Can you imagine? No , no. Sometimes if I hear someone laughing, I'll look over to make sure they're okay that they're not , you know, choking or whatever . I never laugh. Oh, horrible. What do you do? I feel uncomfortable and then I try to like and then I really don't turn my head at all towards them. I like almost turn slightly another direction just so that can't happen again. Just enjoy it. Oh my gosh . What like what do you need me to validate? That requires analysis. Or is that a thing where it's like, Oh, I gave you a little treat by showing you this funny thing . Look at me . Oh, the worst. You mean the the person if has shown you right like don't get it's all performed it's awful so much pressure yeah way too much pressure Yeah oh kill the mood kill the mood . And if someone is showing, Oh, did you see this video and then you watch it while they watch it awful . But if it's something you both stumbled upon like independent or whatever like just by chance. then And you're looking you're sharing it and you're both aware that it's funny. But you don't have to confirm it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And no one should ever show another person in public a funny video. No, don't do that to anyone in your life. Send it to them and let them do that in private. Don't make me perform 'cause you can and it's usually if it's somebody you know well, they know your fake laugh it's all it's just a terrible terrible thing that happens. It's evil. Ellis did we get the answer correct? I tried not to lead too much, but I just needed a moment to complain about it because it's of course it's a curse. Okay good. It is so awful . I'm laughing at the screen. Why do I why is this now? I'm performing for you like I'm laughing with you as no, we 're watching a thing together. I'm not this is it's bizarre behavior and now the worst thing is that I had a friend who did this so much with me and I've started to do it with other people and I catch myself because it's so obnoxious. That is remarkable that your friends' behavisor transferred fortunately yeah, transferred on to you and now you are following doing the thing you hate. I'm so sorry . Now there is something I in the same category that I think you should do you've pre ispa whenred for food someone, when they take a bite, lock eyes with them, maintain eye contact for that first bite, just follow them through the whole bite. That's hate it. That's how I hate eye contact is Yeah, it's almost just entirely unnecessary. It really is. It's so bad. Well, we all got the answer right on that one. That's very nice. That feels nice. Okay. This is the final segment of the podcast. People are writing into ICED no gifts at gmail. com just kind of in general begging for answers. Will you help me answer a question? Yeah I will. All right, this is Hello Bridger. They don't say anything to you, Ellie, and that 's fine. Cruel . This says, I'm joking wait, I'm joking about her being my neurologist. This is very confusing. I am joking about her being my neurologist but my girl,friend is a neurologist . Okay, so let's just unpack this really quickly. So we think that the girlfriend's actually a neurologist, but then the partner is like, you're my neurologist because you deal with my brain? that Is what the question? Is that how it works? We're on we're off to a bed storm. Yeah . We did, hold on. Do you feel like I've hopped on a sleeping turn? Mean too. We're like, whoa , we gotta figure this out quick . This is I don't think unless part of it, no because this is Hellobridger and then we get into it . Unless I've been hacked Russian interference in my email . No, this is how it starts. So let's just assume girlfriend is a board certified neurologist partner is like, you're my neurologist too because I'm so my brain's crazy and you know this is so much but what is the text? I'm a text . What is it if somebody believes the Constitution? Oh is that a document? Text based. Do you want me to read the let me read this full sentence to you because that's not the full sentence even. I'm joking about her being my neurologist, but my girlfriend is a neurologist and I would like to propose. So there's the full sentence. I'm joking about her being my neurologist. But she is a neurologist . This whatever information has been given to us is so how is he with a neurologist? Well, and by the way , she women can be neurolog ists and lesbians , Ellie . You know, violence and bad at writing emails . Sorry . Women can do . My bad. We've just pro ven they can have it all. Hold on. I think what she's saying is way simpler than what you were saying. All of them all of a sudden you're like, well, she's my neurologist and she because she deals with my brain. How do you think it is? I think she's saying, Hey, baby, you're my you're my neurologist. Like you're my sweetheart, like you're sorry, you're my loyal. It's a term of endearment. I don't. I think it's like , oh like oh you're my writer. Like you're like my fireman. Like it's just you're saying putting my in front of the person's jaw that's kind of what I'm saying. It is. Like I'm a fish like I'm a fisherman . Is that what you said? Oh no wait, why did you think? It's a fisherman? No . Fisherman. Fishermen, fishermen. I don't know what I was oh official. Maybe official official . Okay so this person has created a problem for us that is nearly unsolvable already and we're not even getting into the email yet. No, no, no. Let's put that aside. We may have to re visit. And now just again, can you read it one more time? I'm joking about her being my neurologist, but my girlfriend is a neurologist and I would like to propose. Continuing, I think proposals are basically the gift of a curated romantic experience unique to the proposal recipient. My question is how can I do something more original than going to dinner? A little about her . Very feminine, love's very fancy slash elegant things , enjoys fine dining and food experiences. But I know she would not want a proposal at dinner. She's very smart, loves to travel, enjoys the outdoors, but not camping, loves horror movies and graphic novel s. Hoping for your help. We've gotten to the end of the email . That's Kristen . Kristin is looking to propose to what could possibly be a neurologist but not her neurolog ist. But not hers, but in a very funny way, yes, her neurologist not joking. Kristen, I'm sorry, but you should have been we should have we should have had a call about this, Kristen. Yeah, no, Kristen, feel confident that there's that what you're saying makes sense, but I don't understand what you mean. Right. We're not in on your cute little joke. But we have the facts, which is that your girlfriend is a neurologist and you want to propose to her. Yes. Congratulations first of all. So exciting. Second of all , what are your ideas? Okay, well we've got all these different details. She's very feminine. She doesn't want to go out to dinner. But though she likes fine din ing. She loves fine dining, but she likes but not at a restaurant. Will not be proposed to over dinner. So do you think that means that she doesn't want people around like she wants a private proposal I think that it's more just like she thinks that that's kind of cliche . Don't take me to a fancy restaurant and hide it in the dessert. I've seen it before. Yeah, okay. So she likes the outdoors but, she doesn't like camping. Camping. She hates camping. She loves horror movies Graphic novels . So how do we have an original proposal ? And proposals seem to be very high stakes at this point. They're almost like proposals. Oh , they're you know, people are doing all sorts of things for these . Yes, that's right. And whatever happened to William Mary, Mate. I don't know. I'm seeing horror movies. I'm thinking, how many proposals have been terrifying? That's a great question. How do we turn this into a terrifying situation for this neurologist where she thinks her life is in danger ? She's dragged through just this horrible scary experience that ends in I'm getting married. Where are they where do they live? Great question. Okay All of these details, details galore , couldn't tell us where they live. They live . Okay The first thing that comes to my mind is there a haunted house situation they could go through. I mean, I don't know. That might not be scary enough. Right. I think there are some legitimately terrifying not to bring up New York in the trash can, but I do think there's some legitimately, I'm sure in that. We I don't know where they're from. Right, but they love to travel so they can go anywhere. They could travel to a scary place. To a scary place