How football commentators remember players

Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HVac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, click Ganger d. com or just stop by Granger. For the ones who get it done. This is a Global Player original podcast This is LBC, fromr Global, leading Britain's conversation Mystery Hour with James O'Brien Oh Six minutes after twelve is a time. And if you said ten, that would have given you a bit of a shock to the old system, wouldn't it? And time for mystery are your weekly opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available anywhere else on your radio. not If you've never come across this feature before It's rather fun. It's one of my favourite parts of the week and it almost always yields moments of delightful levity, proper fun, even occasionally some frolicics. It's not a particularly complicated premise. One person rings in with a question, could be almost anything and someone else then rings in with an answer And somewhere between those two positions, magic can happen as you are about to discover. I even these days have a prize for my favourite contribution of the week. It is a Mystery Hour game, of which there are now two versions, would you believe? More on that after this. Pum pum, pum. You have the original board game and you also have the traravel Edition, which is in a tin, which is a lovely little bit of kit actually. If you're looking for a reasonably priced present for the curious a person in your life, by which I mean they are curious about things, not that they are curious as in they sort of I don't know, wear anntlers to the pub or something like that. then I would heartily recommend the travel edition of the game. But if you want something to take on holiday for fun with all the family, then get the board game version. findind out more at Mstterour. co. uk, the website and get your terms and conditions for the actual competition at lbc. co. uk Before Mstreour starts I need to do something Can anyone remember and I'm looking at my colleagues now, why I mentioned Pul Pot earlier Was anyone listening No, all busy where there's a cake in there again, is there? someomeone delivered some cake Yeah, Keith makes a valid point. I actually said it and I don't remember either. so I'm probably not in a position to start throwing stones. but I mentioned either Pol pot or the Cummer Rouge What we got the moment, ten second delay So is it worth waiting to see if anyone else can remember why I mentioned Pol Pot or the Camer Rouge because I can't remember why I mentioned it But what I did forget was that If you wore glasses, In Khmer Rougeera, Cambodia, one of the most brutal regimes of the last century, I mean two million people dead, a Marxist, so called Marxist leader dragging Cambodia back to the Middle Ages, forcing millions of people from the cities to move to communal farms in the countryside You if you wore spectacles, it was a death sentence And that's what happened at Stehen Yaxley's Lenon's March on Sunday. They expelled a woman wearing spectacles because she had a right lefty look on her face. The Chmer Rouge, Paul Pot literally thought that spectacles were a sign of education. and educated people would be an obstacle to his totalitarian regime You read this stuff, Ohh, that was nineteen seventy six in Cambodia. It's funny, right? And then you turn on your flipping television or your computer and someone's sharing a clip of a woman being publicly almost lynched because of her face and her spectacles And that's British values for you. I suppose she was lucky to get away without having a flag staple to her forehead. Anyway, enough of that nonsense, it's time for mystery. Catherine's in Pulborough, Catherine question or answer Hello, question. Hello, Cash. Nbody to speak to you. I agree. I'm wondering why magpies like shiny things, why they? picking them up and flying away with them. I like that I mean, I'm almost certain that we've done it before, but I'm of an age now, Catherine, where I've done almost everything before. So we're just going around again with a little bit more enthusiasm than we had the first time. Have you lost anything recently to an inquisitive m magpie? We used to have a pet magpie and it used to love stealing people's car keys, which was quite funny to to fly away with them and welp them into. When you say a pet magpie, do you just mean a friendly magpie? found it As a fledgling, when it was it fallen out of its nest and we ran around all the animal places And I said to leave it and we left it survived one night in a rural area and then we were like, No we better feed it and look after it and it just It just stayed with us. Where did it sleve? Did it stay in the house It did come in a h sometimes, but it did sleep outside My nanny also had a pet magpie when she was growing up . Is this Is this a thing? I haveve not heard? I don't know That's too for joy isn't it? That's a relief. Don't anyone else in the family get one. Not not if you're superstitious. I know, I think that superstition is really unfair because they're really intelligent birds. they live to be up to twenty years and they can mimic human speech. And did it? did yours U not, not not You had a slow one My first band was called the Slow Magpies and well that goes my next question. I was going to ask you what words he could do. What was his name Rags. Rags That's lovely that. Rags the magpie. Why did rags? Nick cararkage? Why did magpies like shiny things? I'm trying to think the reason I kept catin on the line though was because Sometimes if I do that, I kind of find the question germinated crystallizing in my mind. whether I'm dragging it from my memory or whether I'm working it out for myself there's a reason why magpies like shiny things. It's gone. I've not got it. If it was ever there, it's not there now. Thank you, Catherine Eleven minutes after twelveves the time our first question is on the board. What will the second one be? Jason's in Edgwere. Jason question or answer. it's a question, sir. Carry on, Jason Why don't people write zebras You see people riding horses, you see people riding elephants and everything else And I was reading the Game of Crones the other day. Oh yes. and they were talking about peopleeople coming into the castle on black and white hes Right. that's a Zbper, and then it' sudden I've never seen anybody ride as Have you seen any film? Have you seen anybody try? Well, that's what I mean,m Well that might be the answer. You might, if you watch someone try to ride a ebra, you might get the answer as to why peopleople don't try They looks like horses and they look like donkeys, etcetera. Well Yeah, they're equine, aren't they? I think? They part of the same genis or spe. ostriches or camels or whatever. I don't think anyone ever rode an ostrich. That was Don McLlean running the marathon in a suit No, they do. do they? Yeah. They raace ostriches sitting on them. Why do we know? Well, actually I think people do ride Zebas There was a blke There was a blo in Kidemmstter when I was growing up U used to ride hiszebber around town You'd often see him on the A four five six Okay, I'm' totally wrong I I completely made that up. Of course, I didn't have a bloat riding zebra around Kiddemminster in the nineteen seventies. I listen to you every day and I trust what you've done. Well I'm not going to abuse that trust by persisting with that lie. The only lie on this programme that I have persisted with while admitting it was a lie involves as you will probably remember, the Earl of Dartmouth and the invention of darts. So why don't people I mean it's got a very natural history flavour att tribute perhaps belatedly to David Atttenborgh's one hundredth birthday. Why do magpies like shiny things? and why don't people ride zebras? Do you say Zebra or zebra? O' birthday on Saturday, so I'd love to board Well, all right, donon't be needy. No don't be needy, but I'll make a note, Jason, I'll make a note. It might I mean, if it's a good question, it might get into the next edition of the game that it's got very much game friendly that question. whyy don't people ride zebras? Because part of the fun of the game ' the wrong answers. it's the false. Why do you say zebra Well, I was going to say Zebra, but then I realized that look I'm not quite sure to be honest. I was playing with the either of Zebra or Zebra. I think it' Zebra. I mean, it doesn't matter. I mean, it doesn't matter. but I just you made me think maybe I've got it wrong, but I think I'm going with Zebra Zebra Zbra, Let's c the whole thing off.'s coming out to a quarter past twelve Luke's inromy Luke Q question or answ quest We come to that season where flies come into the house and very anoy in going up and down run around and it's come to the same part of the season where the owner of the house running around trying to get this thing out And my and what happens as the fly speeds up Yeah I'm just thinking, do flies? my question is, do flies get stressed or they feel anxiety? What is it that cause them to go faster Yeah, and including those ones that go round and around under the lampshade, you know I mean, there's a lot here There's a lot to unpack. I mean, the central question is, do flies get stressed Yeah. And then after a while They go back to normal speed again. That's speed. the turbo have normal. Well, I've always presumed that they fly away because they think you're a predator. probablyrobably correctly because you're trying to swap them. So they've got like a ten on that though. Yeah that time Yeah So would that be so that would But I don't think their nervous system would stretch to being adrenalised, would it or anything like that I it's a great question. It's a weird mystery out of this. just for the benefit of people tuning in for the first time. It's not just animal based questions that we do natural world, you're allowed to ask about anything you like, politics, all sorts of with anything you want. So we've just got magpie zebras and flies on the on the board so far, but to strike I mean, I don't think their nervous system would be sophisticated enough for emotion Well, do they need like a little couch mayaybe they can go for some, you know a little bit of, a little bit of R and R, a little bit. Well, all right, the flies have feelings. is actually the I mean, who's going to be able to answer that? Let's find out. zero three four five six zero six zero nine seven three. And I think I just I did Bernie Clifton a grave disservice. It was Bernie Clifton that used to bomb around in an ostrich suit Wn't it if I gotone mad? Well, I mean particularly or Madur. Was it but Bernie Clifton used to do the London marathon in an ostrich suit for I don't know where that came from, I'm sorry When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there's no room for slowdowns. With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done Call one eight hundred Ganger, click ranger. com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done eightighty minutes after twelve is the time. than you for your good wishes. I didn't realise it was international Taay, but I do now, so I accept your greetings and I I return them That's one of those things we should make a list, shouldn't we? off all the ideas I've had over the years that have come to nothing I want I want because I reckon, right that every day's something International Ta Day, you know, international, I don't know, traffic cone day. Every day is something. There's even an international Mennsday, but keep that on the downlad because it's always funny to spot the misogynists on international Women's Day going Why isn't there an international? Why isn't there an international Men's Day? International Taay today, according to the United Nations Do you know the earliest initiator and promoter of International Ta dayay was the Chinese scholar Chen Nentian she did and a resolution to inaugurate International tea date was made on december twenty first, twenty nineteen. I drink a lot of tea. You can tell how much tea I drink by the size of my mug. So happy Innational Ta Day to one and all. Back to Mystery h. Chris is in Kingston upon Thames. Chris, question or answer Hi, James, it's a question. Yes And well, before I start, my little girl was absolutely delighted that you answered her question last time about cats. G So she even gotght a round of applause. it certainly was. My question today is why do the Irish inom pipes played while sitting down What was the origin of that Because unlike the Scottish Highland pipes being played or standing or marching And so you can't play the Iland pipes standing up Not Not open hell. Have you tried U Well, have you ever ridden a zebra I've never I've ridden horses, but never a zeppbra. Have you ever met a haveave you ever met a stressed fly? Oh load system. always seem quite stressed. How would you spot a fly that wasn't stressed? non stressed fly is probably a dead fly. But I digress slightly. I mean, I'm familiar with the Uland pipes. I Iim pipes. Iillum pipes Yeah. But I guess I just presume that whenever I've encountered or seen someone playing them, they've chosen to sit down. No, well you have to have them strapped around your waist. You might be answering your own question then. Mbe, but also strap around both of your arms Stri I thought I mean, because I've always thought of the Scottish island pipes, the bagpipes. I mean, they're both bagpipes, aren't they? technically? But the Scottish version that you referred to as a sort of not quite an active war, but you know, the pipers leading troops across the Glen into battle. It wouldd be pretty useless if you could only play them sitting down Well yeah, exactly. I like that. I don So it' something about the engineering of the Ium pipes that explains why so that's what we want to know. Why didn't you just ask the last bloat you saw playing them Well, last locosaw plane was me. Oh Well haven't you worked out why you have to sit down to play them? Beuse I can't believe I'm standing up. But if it's just you Well I would imagine that you usually would see. What happens if you're playing your Iillim pipes And you just sort of stand up L that U they'd probably stay on You mean you've never tried it. This is this is falling apart, Chris. I hope your daughter doesn't listen back to this. It's going rob her of all her remaining joy at had success on Miss J Howard last time. So you're asking why You can't play these pipes standing up But you do play these pipes and you've never tried standing up have standing up, butre playing the pipes Yeah, well, it's a bit difficult. Yeah All right. And so my daughter always says Well If you don't know, ask James. Oh and now you've made me feel ye, because that is a fairly good mantra for life actually. if you don't know, ask James. Well James doesn't know either. But I will do my level best to find out. Why can't you play the Elym pipes standing up? zero three four, five, six zero sixzero nine, seven Have you got them with you at the moment, Chris? I have got a set Right next to me, but a lot set up at the moment. How long does it take to set them up F minutes. Right. I'm going to go to P We've got you're going to set them up. We're going to come back to you shortly Okay I mean it. Don't you go letting me down and if that phone is engaged, you'll be banned from Mystery hour. We're going to hear the IillM pipes sitting down surely. We're a bit short of questions. You can probably tell that by the quality of the ones that have got on air. So we just that's a call to us. It' just a bit of fun. It's a joke, no offense to Chris or to Luke or to Jason or to Katherine. They're all lovely questions. Lovely, lovely questions. but we have got room for quite a lot more. Actually. Ohero three four five six zero six zer nine seeven three is the number you need. If you tried to get through and you failed, try again now because there's a very big churn this hour. It would turn over the course because a lot of people ring in and they said, Well, we did actually do that last week or they ring and say, Well, that's not a proper question. There's no way we'll ever be able to answer that. So don't think that just because you couldn't get through five minutes ago, you wouldn't get through now. Try again, quuick G on quick, quick, quick, quick quick Paul's in Cologne Pull question or answer It's an answer, James. Carry on Paul It's the answer to whether zeppras can be rigid. Or why no one rides one. Yes. Harry on. fromom seeing this firsthand, you won't be able to stay on one more than about five seconds According to the horse trainer, they're totally untrainable Yeah. so you couldn't tame one. You can't tame one. I think there was a Rothschild who had a carriage that was pulled around by Zebras, but that's more feasible than climbing on one. It would probably a different level of taming or training. You could just about harness them up and get them to pull your carriage around. but that's different from climbing on one and riding around the place Yes, I would think so. I do actually have a friend who has a safari park wh. whel. And She actually has a zebra horse. So she has a zebra that was bred with a horse. It has a stripey face and white backside and it lived with its horse family And they thought it'd be quite good if they could get it into their cowboy Western show that they put on with horses So they tried to train it, and they absolutely failed. They tried for few years. Even though it was tame, it had only ever lived in captivity. It lived with horses. It's all what other horses did. They said there's natural temperament from its evolution Do not let it be trained. mean I'm got to give you a round of applause, but it's not necessarily definitive because it might really hurt It could be something to do with their vertebrae or their spine, couldn't it? So they'd be perfectly happy to be ridden around the place, but it really hurts, which would also explain would also explain why zebra. Yeah Well ye it could just be you had a grumpy zebra. What is it a Hebra or a zorus? They Well they call it a deeborah horse. Well, that's a bit rubby. That's bloodyerm Germans for you. They love their compound words, don't they? I'd go for Zorce. Zorce is better than Zemperrahold aZource. It's aource Bet better than a Hebbra, I think ource Where was I that might also be true. because definitely a lot of people are confirming my Ross childild memory There was a member of the Rosschild family who was renowned. I think in Ting, it may have been in Ting. I don't know where this information comes from, riding around in a carriage in a zebra drawn carriage. So that would add to the Anatomical explanation for why you can't ride a eb. they can be tamed up to a point, but they can't be ridden. Paul, have a round of applause on me What's the most exotic animal your friend has in her safari pot exotic animal. Oh and I' asking I would say she's got a bird eating spider which I almost can't look at It's really terrifying. Is it just a horrible looking creature Yes, that. And of course, as you know, Paul, the Rothschild's carriage had one pony at the front, Tina tells me to guide the others. So yet more complications to the Zebra based question. And there still no answers to the questions about magpies or flies, or indeed the Iillin pipes. On we go, on we go. U Wonda Vanda Vonda is in Tinton in the Y Valley Hi James. Hello S to you again. it's Vander. Van of course it's Vander. Quion or answer Vander. Well I have a question, James. Yeah. My kids are eight and nine, they're now at the stage where they're asking questions about everything and they want to know the answers. And my mother in law came it was fantastic. it's brilliant, but it also really tests your knowledge, yees, it does. But yes, of course it does, because I say so. Yeah,'t doesn't cut the mustard anymore. So I have an origin of a phrase quest So my mother in law came round and was complaining and saying, o, the neighbours last night were so loud, they were screaming blue murder And the kids went by Bue murder and we all just looked at each other and went, no idea. And I thought the next time I have got a fair moment of Mysteries hour was on, I'll give you a call I like that question. I'm almost certain we've had it before. If we haven't, my friend Wayne Basledden, although he's on nights at the moment, so he's probably not listening. He will be reaching for his volume of Brewer's Dictionary of phrase and Fable, which he's not actually allowed to do, but he's read the whole thing cover to cover and can remember most of it. So he may well pop up in the next few minutes with an answer to that question. if not someone else Surely will, the origin of the phrase Bue murder. and the reason why Vanda referenced that as an origin of phrase question is because she's obviously old school Mysty out you're only allowed one origin of phrase question per show Because for reasons I've never understood, as soon as one person rings in with an origin of phrase question, then unless I make it immediately clear that we won't be taking any more origin of phrases questions, we get a million other origin of phrases questions. So even on a day like today, when we were a bit short of questions ten minutes ago, but I don't think we are anymore, I won't allow any more origin of phrases questions. othertherwise we won't have time to do anything else Are you still with me at the back A lot of answers coming in hosey? W a hosey? What's better? Is also a hosey? What would you call a cross between? It sounds like the first line of a joke what would you call across between a zebra and a hor I've got nothing. Let's coming out to half past twelve, one more quickly, John is in Pittston in Buchamhire, John question or our answ Qestion. Yes Okay. So why is it when you go to a nightclub, the bounce always says it's one in one out It should be one out one in Ill tell you what you should do, you should point that out. Find a really, really big bouncer John And then point out to him that he is being syntactically foolish. Tell him that. say You know you did the horse joke. Can I give you a joke? Be my daughters will find it very embarrassing. Can I tell you a joke? Well clean? I'll take the first line of the joke and then I'll decide whether or not I'm going to let you share the p another. Yeah. What do you call a magic dog Yeah go icanabrado S your own I wish They're amazing. It's very best ever. It's one of the best jokes ever. I absolutely love it. We're not doing jokes either. stay there a minute, John. So you can't ring in. this is the only photo show in the world where we have more rules about who can't ring in than we do about who can. You can't ring in with origin of phrase questions and you absolutely categorically can't ring in with any jokes. All right? That was a special dispensation for John. and John alone I think the answer is going to be linguistic facility, John, isn't it? One in one out. It trips off the tongue knes, one out one in also one out, one in. But it's not necessarily chronological either. One in one out one out one. It doesn't make any sense, does it? Well it does make sense. You't go in there. You don't go in there and pick someone to leave. You wait ttill someone leaves and then you some ye but don't bother him me for years? Well, I don't think you're And today's programme unbothered to be honest with you, because I very much doubt there's a formalised or indeed obvious answer to that question, but if there is We'll do our level best to find it. But promise me next time you're outside a nightclub, you will point this out to the biggest bouncer you can find Thank you. Amelia Cox has your headlines Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building. you're managing all of them And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HVac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, click Ganger d. com or just stop by Granger For the ones who get it done. It is twelve thirty four and you are listening to James O'Brien on LBC. C't call it a horse bra, you ridiculous man, John. That's a completely different thing. Honestly, twelf questions still need answers. Why do magpies like shiny things? Why can't you ride as Zebra? We kind of got answer to that but it's not necessarily complete. It was entirely emotional, the answer to that. It was character based. I wonder whether there's anatomical element U Bad news from Kingston Chris is The barrel is bent. What is bent? the pipe? The barrel is bent. He can't play his illland pipes The stock is bent so we won't be getting alive and he was very contrite. This is definitely not a lead swinging exercise. We still need to know why you can't play the Illand pipe standing up. Given that they are bagpipes and the Scottish bagpipe, you can of course play standing up Indeed, I don't think I've ever seen anyone playing the Scottish backackpipe sitting down What a strange world we live in What is the origin of the phrase blue murder? and Uh Why did b yeah, I've been good luck with this one, John. Why the bouncers say one in one out when obviously it should be one out one in Michel's in Brentwood, Michel question our answ Qion, please James. Carry on Good afterno. Good afternoon. I youope you doing well. It's going Oh good. G. haveone more at your end Happy Innational Tay. Michael, Happy international Tay. Yes, thank you. I'm a bit of a teapot. so it was with joy that I received that. Thank you Car My question is about sand on beaches or sandy beaches or beaches with sand. How you want to Yeah how do you want to put it U On holiday, a couple of years ago with family in Cornwall went to a couple of different beaches. And it struck me that we go to a beach on the Saturday and quite fine sand, you know, powdery stuff But then Literally the next day would go to a different beach mayaybe a mile, two miles down the road And the granularity of the sand was just radically different. know no longer looking at kind of powdery sand, but quite coarse sharp sand. And then again two three miles down the road, another beach, there'll be little pebbles on the page. Now. I know I know this has to do with the tide. I know this, but we're not just h me' not just the tide dec Tide not just pick all of the fine sand up and deposit it on beaches no matter what, no matter where? No I'm confused by this. What is the actual question I guess why do different beaches have different granularities of sand? Is that is that a submmarine or doesn't? Yeah no, I mean, I think it's obvious though Well, not obviously, not obviously. I mean it mean it's a bit like asking why different countries have different weather. Well it's not like that at all, actually. Sorry. I'm just thinking that it's going to have as much to do with geology as it is with meteorology Isn't it I mean yeah,uce Buce knows where I'm coming from. Bruce Bruce says it's because they're different beaches Well yeah, I mean, but I think that's kind of probably close to correct you see what I mean? It's going to be so if you have the sea washing in and out of that bit there that's made of that rock, then you're going to end up with this granularity of sand. And if it goes on for this period of time and that bit fell into the sea and that and then you've got this bit here and the sea moves slightly differently, but it's based on that kind of rock washing in and wash then you're going to have different then you're going to have pebbles I think. So So my spouse would agree with both you and I didn't catch Felllla's name and she would ridicule Br for asking this. Bruce No I don't think you deserve to be ridiculed. It's going to be a combination of I think there's something deep here. I think there's some I don't know, some global plot There's definitely no global plot to confuse your holiday or because you' wear your flip flops on the Pverly beach and you don't need them on the Sandy Beach, it's going to be a combination of rock type Tide It's going to be that, but I can't go definitive because I've just worked that out and I could conceivably be wrong So we' wait for someone who sounds like they know what they're talking about Oh Yes, Yes. Yes Yes. But I feel I don't know, I just feel deeply unsatisfied by that That's why That's why I'm leving on the board. That's why I'm leaving it Everyone's a critic. It's on the board. I'm not, I mean, it will be that. And then if you're still deeply unsatisfied with it, then there's nothing I can do to help Why have you just deleted that message? I just needed to read that out. Be the stock is bent Barrel for the stock is bent because there'll be some people listening who know a lot about Ilum pipes And they're wondering exactly what's going wrong with Chrises. And the short answer is the barrel for the stock. I don't know whether there are any Iill and pipe barrel on benders in Kingston, but I have to hope so Thank you, Michael from Michael to Mary in Leayton. Mary, question her answer. please Carry on, Mary Right, you are my last hope. I've got so many fells. Obi one Kanobi How many sorry, how ers at the World Cup going to know every name of every player like they already do. It's a really good question. I mean, One way is of course the names are written on their backs on their shirts I can't see them from the box. No, that's very true. The other way, the numbers you can see, however. and they will have And they actually work quite hard. I know a couple of commentators And they do quite a lot of research. And in fact, I think they even followed John Matson around once and did his pre game prep They'll have charts in front of them that not only are really easy to read. So the minute you see the number you see the name of the player in front of you, but there'll also be notes next to it that say things like top scorer in the Bundersliga last season or transferred from. So they'll have like almost a sort of miniedia, a mini Wikipedia page. attached to each number with the name very easy to read so that when they're commentating They are simultaneously consulting their notes. A bit like what I do Mary, to be honest with you, don't you ever sit there listening to this thinking, how does he know all that stuff? Yeah, but you've got a lot more time, haven't you than a commentator sitting in the? Yeah, but they don't have as much in front of them to deal with. They've only got a maximum of twenty two people and they've prepped it properly and in that moment they will reach for their note with the number, get the name and then if the situation allows, they'll throw in a little bit of interesting information as well Okay, so how do they know how to pronounce them properly? Practice. So they'll check. They'll be someome broadcasters will provide style guides and they'll have a phonetic exposition of the name. So for example, you know, if you were playing the Turkish team Fenna Bachci and you attempted to call it Fena base, you would check that before you played and you'd go to a pronunciation. The BBC used to have a pronunciation department, whether or not it still does, I do not know, but that is what you would do. You would That's why they do proper research. it's a thing Oh brilliant. honestly. Are you happy you just wait till I'll see my son now. I have our so many guys know this. noody knows it. That's what it is. and I mean, hopefully, I'm not going to take a round of applause Mary, and my phone lines are quite full and it is already quite late in the hour, but you never know. we might actually get a professional commentator ringing in just to put the cherry on the icing on the cake be even better. you know what, I might and I used to know every name of every footballer was the Bobby Moore era. Re you've made my day. Well you've made my day now, Mary, tellelling me that. Let's try. come on. if anyone's listening, who do I hear from Bob Ballard sometimes gets in touch with the programme? Clive's often well it's a problem with not being on Twitter anymore. is that you don't have the banter with your fellow blue ticks in your direct messages box. It was one of the ways in which Clive Tilsley used to get in touch quite. He might be listening. come on early mean it's not just lads either these days either. Alex Jones, come with someone give us an answer to the question. How do the football commentators know everything? Well and I've got a job on their hands, haven't they Well, I've done about that man. I've got a deal with like millions of people. They've only got a deal with twenty two But if all your people ring in and they're like me, they just want a straightforward Yeah, you're right actually.' probably got a harder job than me. That's why they only do ninety minutes instead of the full three hours. Mary, God bless you. Have a lovely day and let's try and find a proper commentator for Mary just Just to close it down completely. loveovely stuff. It's twelve forty two. Alex is an heealing. Alex question or answ Question, please, James. Carry on, Alex Right. I don't know if you watch Snooker Oh TV. Oh yes, I do. Oh yes, I do. Okay. So this question has been bugging me for months now U When a player leans over the table to take their shots, you often see them rhythmically raising and lowering their middle finger.. Do you ever noticed What are they doing and why are they doing it I think it's the same reason why you stick your tongue out when you're threading a needle You stick your tongue out when you're threading a needle? No you stick your tongue out when you're threading All right, I certainly don't. When when you're putting on mascara then I don't put a mascara either. I'm surprising. When do you stick your tongue out? Not often. Gerally. No, all right. Well when you concentrate on something, you do something that is not directly linked to the thing that you're concentrating on to take your mind off what you're actually doing you think? Yeah, or to f to shift your focus. alsoso rhythm You know, they could be introducing a bit of rhythm into the L almost subconsciously. G getting a night because it's all about rhythm Doesn't sound very definitive to me, Jame No not I'm not taking a well I don't know again. I mean, I know a lot of snooker players listen But Well, come on, Roddy or Alex Well Judge ring in. Well Michael Holt, I hear from quite a lot. The hitman might be listening today. Any other snooker players,? Wh whyy do you tap your finger? Why do you do that? Let's find out for Alex. When you said Alex Who did you mean Who did I make? Yeah, you just take him he's not gonna to ring in. He's been dead for twenty years. No yes. And they were playing in the mass. Alex Alex Higo, John Higgins No, James, not John Higgins. Are you really going get all condescending with me for suggesting that Alex Higgins was not playing in the Masters last week He was a World Championships last week Haven. Alex Higgins Yes. Right. alert the newsroom. We've got the biggest story of my life. Serious. It's twelve forty five. 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For the ones who get it done is the time and just for the avoidance of doubt, Alex Higgins is indeed no longer with us. He passed away in twenty ten. So I think that Alex there in Eling is I don't know if he'd started accidentally watching repeats Uh Gary's in Cala. Qestion or answer, Gary Well, I've got answer actually, that's more or less definitive to your zebra one.. And they could and were trained as mounted animals for Germany in the eighteen nineties and eighties, leading up to the First World War. They looked at it riding zebras in preference to horses Now there was an issue and this is the Schutz troopment and the German colonial military. There was an issue with disease amongst horses coming over from Europe, et ccetera.. Mainly the taxi fly which was cutting swathes of horses away. and they said, let's look at the locals. The local Zebra was was it wasn't affected by it It was also very good in the busush, where it had been there for obviously hundreds of thousands of years I was aware of predators and quite could pick up the alarms etcetera So there are lots of photographs of German offics taking these things over jumps in displise on withd them And it was seriously, seriously looked at and they did use them but there was always a kickback because they were actually That was goodnt there. Becauseuse there was the problem was they were quite skittish be an issue. okay? They couldn't sort of breed that out of them So they then turn around and said, look, they go to harness very well. The Texas flly thing we can that's good as well We can use them as packed craft animals Which they did, but they weren't as hardy as mules But yes, they used them and they rode them, but there was a big problem actually using them for the job they wanted as a military horse Come on to the twentieth century, you get the li for the Rough Chie Are using them as code sources? Yes, I heard about it. You got various ining in Ting It was in Ting, I think, Gary I'm not sure where it was, but you actually do get that. well done. But certainly they were looked at in the Germans. If anyone wants to Google use Zebra German army prior to the Great War, loads of photographs come up of German officers jumping over jumps with and displaying them. Well you live and learn. I mean, I know the answer to this, but not everybody else will Qalifications Military historans Military historian. Do battlefield tours B battlefield tours in France and elsewhere and interest in the German army. So there is. they were too skittish be used by the military. Yeah. Otherwise you do see sort of circus performance, obviously we see that, but other people' thought as a, that's a bit od, it's a bit weird G get me out there. but they yes, they can be yes they were, but not in the environment the Germans really wanted to. I love this. It's a brilliant answer Mate And of course I mean part of it is going to involve evolution in the horse has been domesticated by man to do all of the things that horses now do well with a zebra, it's a standing start, isn't it? kind of plucking it from the world and expecting it to behave in the same way that an animal that's been domesticated for two thousand years or more would behave, which is on Not gonna a round of applause for Gary. Stripe on Thank you very much. Thank you very much needeed work. I mean, my joke at the end, not Gary's contribution, which was characteristically brilliant. I' in Stehvenenge.,an question our answer Tario Right. You were asking why you have to sit down to play the Eland pipes. Yes. And Basically the Eland pipes were more complex instruments than the Scottish pipes. got you can play two octaves And to get the second octave you need to overblow the reed. Now, with an instrument like say an noo. you would put pressure on the reed with your lips. because you've got a bagpipe and you've not got that physical contact with the reed, when the instrument was being developed, they discovered that if you closed the chantter up the melody pipe up you could compress the air in there and force it into the second oct tube So what you actually do is you put the end of the chanter on your Thigh on your knee to in order to get that extra pressure, which is why you need to be sitting so your leg's in the right position to do that. Wow. So you could just about play it bent double, but you'd look ridiculous. Yeah, I mean there are some photographs of busking pipers in olden times who had a sort of that they would put under their legs. So they would keep their leg in a position but they were sort of standing on something to keep it in that position, but were effectively you know standing with their leg propped up. Yeah, G it. So it could be done. But why would you when you could just sit down Yeah. What are your qualifications I've been playing Eelland pipes since the late nineteen seventies. Good lord. Are you any good? Good enough. Could you give us a go or not? I can't. I'm actually I'm visiting family in Stevenidge. I live in the states and some my pipes are in the states at the moment. Well that's a perfectly reasonable explanation that Do You don't have any advice for Christie on how he might unbend the barrel for his stock Does he need a new barrel, do you think? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, once you've bent something you really need to Yeah get the You don't want to be undertaking or go to a specialist, an instrument repairer and get. I mean, how long are you over for I'm over until the end of next week. When did you arrive Tuesday. So you're here for a fortnight give or take. Yeah. and you turned on the radio And you've heard a question from some bloat you've probably never heard of before No I listen to you regularly Okay. No Faronough, I was just marveveling at the coincidence of you being an IlMpipe player. and then I was getting one question ever about the IlMpipes and it coinciding with your two week visit to the United Kingdom But it's nice to know you're listening to me back in the stning. than. but also younger brother had actually tried to phone in for your previous hour and not been called, but he was carrying on listening. So he messaged me and said, James O'Brien wants to know about Elland Ppe. So one of the family got on. It was absolutely perfect. That's why we did it, have round of applause on me and a safe journey home. Oh that's lovely. lovely this year it's been twelve fifty four is the time. Ian' on the whirrel. Ian question or answ. It's an answer for you Cararry on It's to do with the football commentators and how they prepare for matches and know how the players will line up, what they will look like and how they will perform, in theory. Now what you said earlier was absolutely correct, but it gets easier and easier for commentators these days because the Premier League, the FA and FIFA and UEFA send all the commentators a video, as long as you're accredited for the event, of course, and they get all the players to say their names properly and then you get to see what they look like and how to say their names. And the problem with that of course is if they have a haircut before you see them on the pitch, but it usually works. nine times out to ten, it'll work. Unless D David Beckamy was cuting his hair like it was going out of fashion was pretty recognizable anyway. You't you didn't need to worry that Absolutely. Yeah ye. And you obviously make notes on how they run. So much of football is on the TV now on YouTube you can watch commentaries in Albanum. so I watched Albanian commentaries to know how to learn Albanian names when I did them. And the other thing is you take your binoculars and watch the players warming up So if some of them have got different colored boots or they've got strapping on their knee, that kind of thing, you notice it. So Mary is going to be absolutely beside herself with joy because you've given her a complete and I mean everyone has worked out what your qualifications are. But the point I was making not very well is that it's actually some people think my job is three hours a day And some people thought your job was ninety minutes. It's actually a lot more than that My job is sometimes three or four days per match. I say Exactly. Yeah,ve got you've got to watch the previous games played by the team. So that's ninety minutes of one team and ninety minutes of another team Sometimes they haven't chosen the same players so you've got to try and find out about the players that they haven't chosen Yeah, you have to learn about all kinds of things to do with the crowd figure and the layout of the stadium, the names of the ends of the ground. H This is it you've absolutely made you have made Mary's day. I can I can reassure you. So anyway, we need to go through the motions. Qalifications, please Well, I commentated on five World Cups for the BBC Yes, that will do. that will do. when did you hang up your headphones I hung them up in twenty nineteen when I was doing a game for talk sports Aston Viller against Chelsea, you had no expert. You had to talk all through it on your own and my voice went horrible like this. not no You hadt do this anymore. You still man What's your surn name, Ian, I should know. but I don't want to Ian Brown is my name I just mention all the traveveling. The traveling takes a toll that nobody takes into account. Well enjoy you're enjoying a well add dressed, although that said that you're keeping busy. Did you know Ian Tksport until quite recently could boast about having provided the most listened to speech radio programe in the history of commercial radio But it lost its crown. they've been overtaken overtaken Well, they have. It's a shame we didn't have you here to commentate Yeah, I did my research. I used number one. There really it is, yes. Thank you very much, lovevely work for Ian as I'll give him a round of applause all of his own, Ian Brown there. all the details. And that bit was fascinating about them sending out a video of all the players pronouncing their own name, which Mary is going to be in seventh heaven with all of that knowledge and information. Top work, Ian, thank you. Last word, quickly to Paul and Marlow. Paul question or answer I've got an answer. G on. I've got John Motson's Cribbs sheet in front of me. Oh love it. Did you buy Eleanor No, I got to know John from work and he gave it to me. which gu this is This is Wednesday, august twenty third, two thousand Newcastle United against Derby County. All the players are on the left side right. So it's on an A four piece of paper. So it's got like for number nine, Alan Sheera And John has written one hundred and ninety nine Lague gold so far. Southampton twenty three, Blackburn one hundred and twelve, Newcastle sixty four. And every that's about the maximum for each player, but each player has got, you know three or four lines that John had written down. So I think this is one of the most comprehensive mystery our answers ever between you and I and Mary has been delivered all of her beyond her wildest, wildest dreams. I'm going to say something to you, Paul But I should have said So Um,