Why gluten-free bread is small

Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HVac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, click Ganger d. com or just stop by Granger. For the ones who get it done. Three minutes after ten is the timeim. Do you remember when the drama about the post office scandal suddenly made the whole world wake up to what a horrible scandal the post office scandal had been? It needed to be dramatized before it bit many of us in a way that it just couldn't do when it was simply journalism. we did quite a lot on it here, thanks. I think Richard Brooks at Private I helped us out more than anybody else. But sometimes the lens of drama can magnify ideas or even events in ways that I can't. I fail. It's probably why I tell you stories some mornings. There are two things in my mind this morning, as I like you, reel from the extreme heat that we are mostly Euring. And they may not seem immediately obvious to you. One is Oli of a twwist? And the scene in Oliver Twist that you may remember best from the Lionel Bart musical, but the scene in Oliver Twist where all of the workhouse boys, all of the orphans and the wafes and strays and the abandoned children who were living on gruel, aren't they And the Mr. Bumble is it? the guy that runs the workhouse is it, Mr. Bumble him and his mates are feasting. trly feasting in front of them. It reminds me in a way of a radio presenter complaining about children enduring hot weather from an air conditioned studio, which I could have done. I mean, I could have been tempted to do that in the dim and distant past. This must be one of the most pleasant rooms to be in in the country at the moment. It's not just air conditioned, but it's air conditioned to the most ridiculous technological degree. Not because of us. It's nothing to do with us, is it, Keith It's all about the equipment can't have the equipment heating up. Millad Um It just felt a bit like that. You've got these big fat old men sitting in a dining room eating like haunches of venison and legs of lamb and slurping gravy and slapping their chops. bl bl blah. while the poor kids outside are absolutely starving And it did occur to me that some of the commentary that we'll see in the right wing media, there's one ludicrous piece in the telegraph today about how the nineteen seventy six drought, which I think caused about three point a half thousand early deaths was all great fun and we don't understand why young people today are complaining about it. It's such a lazy lazy position to adopt, but it's also quite obnoxious which is why they Oliver Twist seem scene seems pertinent to me today And the other thing, I can't get out of my head. do you remember a couple of years ago? I'm obsessed with this because I just you know what I'm like when I just can't understand something? something when I really don't get something. I can't leave it alone. Business a couple of years ago about men thinking about the Roman Empire all the time Do you remember that? Was it some sort of hoax that I wasn't in on? Did I miss the payoff or the punchline on that For about a month everywhere I went I think I was still on Twitter at the time, so it must have been there a lot as well. For about a month everywhere I went People were wranging on about Um How often men on average think about the Roman Empire I still don't get it. I'm becoming a bit of a bore on this subject with some of my colleagues because I hate it when I don't understand. I never think about the Roman Empire and I'm reading all these pieces about how men on average think about the Roman Empire twice a day. I'll tell you what I do think about. S sururprisingly often I do think about the end of a seminole, I think nineteen sixty eight movie starring Charlton Heston Anybody? Anybody ller Be we talked yesterday, didn't we about that or not at a Caprio film. Well, I did about the Don't look Up film and the suupreme allegory of a meteor heading towards the earth guaranteed to wipe out humanity And the scientists screaming from the very tops, from the rooftops about the imminent disaster and the necessity of doing something about it. and the way in which our sheep like Um Chacters. Alis, you and me, sheep like just sort of chose to pretend it wasn't happening. They chose, which is, of course, the point of the title. not to look up. chose not to look up And we're still doing it. We're still sort of choosing not to look up. so the film I can't get out of my head when I allow my thoughts to move in these directions is Planet of the Apes of all things and the final scene when Charlton Heston stumbles across of the statue of Liberty poking out of the sand. and realizes that he hasn't landed on some dim and distant planet occupied by apes which is what they originally thought, but he has instead arrived or landed on earth Um decimated by nuclear warfare and it is to his fellow humans that he addresses this incredibly powerful. condemnation Y m! Y f God damn you! J T you all that Oh man. a guy Char Eeston was such a legend and then he went all weird with the gun lobby, didn't he? And D you remember that speech he gave to the NRA about having to claw his gun out of his cold dead hand? It just all went really weird. But Ben her Planet of the Apes, These were absolutely seminal movies. I have a policy. anythingything made before nineteen seventy, I don't worry about spoilers So I apologize if you've never seen the end of Planet The Apes, that has ruined it for you. That's the original version not the remake that Tim Burton did But that's what he's doing. He's just sort of marveling at the ignorance of humanity, his own species. destroyed themselves Not not the planet, remember? The planet will survive The species has essentially wiped itself out and That's why this I mean, it's heartrending because it's too late to do anything about it. and he realizes that humanity has Eessentially wiped itself out. I'm going to play it again because it's so powerful and I haven't got a clip of allliver Twist Food glorious food. I could do it for you myself if I don't think anyone deserves that. Here it is again. this is what will happen. This will be some Dim and distant human who somehow manages to evade probably by dint of being in space. It manages to evade the collapse of humanity caused by climate change flies back after spending a couple of years on Mars. I don't know. I'm making it up as I go along it's not a film pitch and arrives back to discover that we have literally cooked ourselves. We have cooked ourselves, and this is what he will sound like You Max Y God damn you G C you all Um Amazing letter in the Times. I think it's today looking at precisely the question of what we are doing. I'll read it to you in its entirety. It's by from Sir Brian Hoskins, who's the chair of the Grantham Institute Climate Change and the Environment at Imperial College, London And he writes, Sir, since I began studying extreme weather and the atmosphere in the nineteen seventies, I have watched the theory of climate change become reality. The evidence is no longer confined to academic journals. We are all feeling the impact in the stifling heat affecting our homes, schools, hospitals and workplaces this week The science on this is clear until we reach net zero emissions Climate change will continue to fuel ever more severe extreme weather and costly climate impacts Despite that, the discourse around Net zero is increasingly decoupled from that science and our changing weather It just is. this is just true While it is right to debate costs and implementation, public and political discussion increasingly overlooks the fundamental why What do I always tell you, the most important word in the English language? Why Net Zero is not an arbitrary slogan, rather it is dictated by the laws of physics To halt warming, net greenhouse gas emissions must stop. Pretending we can safely slow the transition ignores the certainty of escalating climate costs, which will fall most heavily on vulnerable lower income households. That's where it all goes a little bit Brexit It will be vulnerable, lower income people that suffer the most as a consequence of right wing politicians insisting that Net zero should not be a major commitment for any government. Bader not being the latest to fall into the line demanded by lobbyists and fossil fuel profiteers. You sort of know now that this is the new normal. It's why people who are desperate to pretend that it isn't have to have to cite nineteen seventy six. Is it a James Blunt song? or is that is there a James Blunt song called nineteen seventy six? Anyway, they have to cite it. They have to somehow persuade because if you work for the Daily Telegraph, you've essentially spent the last twenty or thirty years Being bankrolled by people talking absolute gibberish about science, about actual science, nineteen seventy three Blads don't forgive Absolute ibberish and they're still at it. I think there was a summit in London a couple of days ago where the fossil fuel lobbies were just sort of having a laugh All the usual suspects turning up to give speeches, Badenock was there, Farge was there Dancing to the tune of the fossil fuel lobby, the fossil fuel billionaires And and yet as this that's why it's Brexy isn't it? Because This guy is one of the world authorities on the actual science But here's Clammy Badenoch to tell you why he's wrong. A bit like that time, Andrea Ledson tried to lecture the former director General of the World Trade Organization on what the World Trade Organization was But here it is. Net zero is not an arbitrary slogan, it is dictated by the laws of physics So what are we gonna to do? And by this, I don't mean et zero question. I just wanted to share that with you so that you, like me can be haunted by the words of Charlton Heston at the end of the original Planet the Apes film or the original English language version actually. I discovered when I was looking for that quote earlier that it was based on a French film originally So it's not that. U What are we actually going to do So the political story this morning is about maximum workplace temperatures So In case you need anybody to tell you this There are legal limits on the temperature in which cattle can be transported Legal limits Youve got a lorry full of cattle If a temperature exceeds a certain threshold, you can't You've got to get them off the lorry You can't transport them until things have cooled down a bit There is no such thing. Cool Kimens that there is no maximum workplace temperature. They're talking about introducing it. And the same with schools. it's an entirely arbitrary idea When a school shuts, it's because the head teachher have decided that they have to. So I sit here sometimes trying to come up with ideas And something occurred to me that's a little weird. It may tie into the conversation we're going to have a little bit later about the North and one of Andy Burnham's reported ambitions to move some of his prime ministerial machinery to Manchester I kind of tried to come up with ideas about things. and it occurred to me one of the most obvious things we could do as a population is change are hours to have summer hours. I don't even know whether they have siestters in Spain during winter you When I go to the south of France or when I go to Greece or when I go to Spain, hot countries, Mediterranean countries, I only ever go in the summer and everything shuts down for a couple of hours in the afternoon, the shops shut, Ebody goes home. The second sitting between lunch and dinner in most restaurants and Savnas, the whole place will shut down. People will go home, the schools will close. You'll have a proper break in the afternoon and then you'll go back in the early evening when things are a bit cooler. I don't even know whether that happens in winter But I don't think we could do it here. We certainly couldn't do it in London Because u People work miles away. People are commuting for an hour and a half each way. What are you going to do if you have to go home for a Siester in the middle of the afternoon and you've got a three hour commute That's five hours of the day that's gone three of it travelling, two of it theestering. By the time you get to work it's going to be time to go home and set out to come back again And then I read about oh marvelous. We've got an idiot's Cner for you. I'll share it with you in just a second. And then we look at the The things that you can actually do. I discovered something last night. I read one of those articles that everybody's publishing about what you can do in the heat U and It was wonderful It worked. You put a wet towel, donon't put it near your electric fan because it's wet, right? don't to the laws of Physics again. But you put it so you've got your electric fan on a desk, for example, and then you put a chair just below that with a wet towail on it. and I don't know how it works. Thrmodynamics. Yes I do, sorry I forgot who I was for a minute. then it's thermodynamics. Oh, mystery has coming up at twelve. If you're a fan of false confidence You put the towel on the chair and it rises up, something evaporates and it means that you're blowing cold air into the room like a sort of homemade air conditioning unit rather than just circulating the warm air around you And that's Ridiculous. My bedroom looks like a Heath Robinson invention at the moment tryrying to do things and then there's another thing you do where you point the fan at the window, do you know about this pointoint the fan at the window to get a through draft like you get in the car when you're driving and that worked a bit as well But what are we going to do? What are we actually going to do? zero three, four, five, six zero six zo nine, seven three is the number that you need That's the question I don't know who's qualified to answer it, you know how this programm occasionally works? I just hope for the best cross my fingers, but who can tell us what are we going to Do you work it? Be that's another thing that you should be telling the kids. You should be telling the kids to work in Whatever we're going to call it. reengineering our country. retrofitting our homes and our buildings, turning ourselves into a population that can cope with extreme heat. AI won't be able to do a lot of that Um Who's going to install air conditioning machines? Who's going to do all this stuff? How's it going to work? Can you have solar powered air conditioning machines? That's always struck me as a Brilliant idea whichich I'm certain somebody must have had a solar powered air conditioning machine, right 's not tonight. It's brilliant idea So cover your roof in solar panels and stick a couple of air conditioning units. So you've got heat pumps and solar powered air conditioning units, we could be hitting net zero much sooner than even our wildest dreams would allow I Want you to tell me what we can do And you can come at it either as a complete amateur Soiler alert like me. zero three four five, sixzero six zero nine seven three is the number that you need. Or you can be someone who works in the field. And I spoke to Beiban Kidron for full disclosure the other day and Beean made a film Bout I think it was maybe as long ago as twenty roughly twenty years ago about what social media was doing to our children And she's a brilliant film director. She directed one of the Bridget Jones films, lots of other stuff, and she just changed career In that moment, she made a film call in realal life about what social media was doing to our children She's dedicated her life to it. So imagine how she feels now And the whole world has woken up to the threat that she posed. You might be the extreme heat equivalent of that. So I'm not talking today and we will talk about it again, I promise I'm not talking today. about net zero and what the hell we can do to avoid ending up like the humans at the end of Planet of the eight I'm talking about what can we do to cope better? What can British people do with this because we've never had this conversation Sediick Khes launched something today that addresses this point, again, probably the most visionary mainstream. politician when it comes to matters environmental. you know, in power. But um that the ple questions that we should all really be asking of what can we actually do What can we actually do Oho three, four five, six zero six, zero nine seven three And you know, I don't mean eat more lollies and stick a wet towel near your fan. I mean like infrastructural change, reverse engineering, reengineering, turning the United Kingdom into a country that can cope with extreme heat. What can we actually do? What should we be doing? What are you tearing your hair out about? Because the rest of the world hasn't caught up with you yet Hit the numbers now you will get through. I think Siestters would be an obvious social answer to the question, but I don't think they'd work in this country because our commutes are longer than almost anywhere else in the world What can we actually do? What should we be doing now? political leadership look like? Oh three, four, five, sixz, sixzo nine seven three Beuse I he does When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant You keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done Call one eight hundred ranger, click ranger. com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done I think we've got a clue I really don't. I think that this is now normal. This is going to beat last year. I think I said last summer, this could be the coldest summer of our lives. The hottest summer ever could be the coldest summer of our lives And I mean, what are we doing What are we actually doing? What should we be doing? What needs to change both in terms of infrastructure and behavior What can we do differently? Oho three four five, six zero sixzero. nine sevven three is the number that you need. Sophie is in Burges Hill to kick things off, Sophie. Have you got all the answers Well, you actually just stole my line that I was about to open with. I was going to say, how are you enjoying the coolest summer of the rest of your life? Is that a thing? Be I got a message yesterday saying, James, you said something really clever last year. You said it was going to be the coolest summer of the rest. and I don't remember saying it will be I'm not confident where I got my facts from, but is that a thing? Well, it is a thing. Greenpeace have obviously stolen your line. It was I don't think I think it's much more likely I stole it off Greenpeace, soopia, you're very kind. I know I'm joking. Listen, there are answers all across the world on how we survive this. We don't have to look very far. We just have to adapt the way we live. it's not going to get colder. There are hotter places in the world than the UK right now I grew up in Argentina where regularly got thirty five, forty degrees Celsius and kids just don't go to school during that year. So like you said earlier on in the programme, we have longer summer holidays because six weeks is just not enough to get through the hot spell. So you just sort of turn everything. I mean it's a very unvictorian approach. There's a very non northern European sort of you know dark knights and work ethics and things like that, but we have to be a little bit more maniana Yeah, completely. I mean, maybe we won't go as far as Naps. as you said, living in the city, that might be quite a hard thing to adjust to. but refuse collection in Argentina only happens at nighttime When the sun goes down, all the rubbish bins get emptied, that's just the way that it works because then one partner is at home and the other person can be doing their job. So we have more split lives and It doesn't sound ideal in many circumstances, but it is a way of creating community. Granny lives at home, you rely on your elderly neighbors, you look after them in turn.'s community really is the solution to every single one of our problems. whether it's climate change or child carere or working. So this is actually first off, thank you because you've justified my curiosity about the entire subject because already you're re ucating me on some of the social differences between southern and Northern Europe. because I've always wondered whether things like mum living at home and different approaches to work were culturally rooted in Catholicism or in history and they're not, are they? An awful lot of the biggest differences between southern and northern countries, even ones that are ostensibly very similar in terms of population and GDP The biggest difference is the weather. Absolutely. I mean, it always baffled me when I came back to the UK that As soon as everybody turns a certain age, they want to move out and pay their own bills and cover their own expenses. live in smaller properties. when you have more people living in a home, you have more people contributing to the finances And therefore you can have bigger houses, air conditioning, you can pay for Yeah. I mean,ments in your home. I mean, we' not the problem is, of course, that we're certainly in London, we're a city of flats. Most people aren' thinking,, we could just put mum in the spare room. They haven't got a spare room. they can't afford too move anywhere bigger. So although you might be right and it might work in some of these countries that we need to become more like, it's not an immediate and obvious thing that we can do. What are the other big differences? Well I mean in terms of Infrastructure it would be shutting things down, whether mum lives at home with you or not, it is literally accepting that we will shut down for two hours in the afternoon and we'll shut down for two months in the summer But it's also routine, Kids always fill up their water bottles at the end of the day and they put them in the freezer so they've got an ice bottle to take in. I know that sounds silly, but there are things like shutting your windows. The amount of houses that I see with their windows open right now walking down the street, why are your windows open? You're letting all the heat in shhut the windows first thing in the morning, shut the blinds, they'll stay cooler in the house. We don't know enough about how to cook because it makes you know if it's hotter outside than it is inside, then opening the windows is the silliest thing you can do but people do it because In the past, it has been the right thing you do when it's hot. You get some fresh air circulating around the room On a scatter of one to ten. And given that you've got a foot in both camps, you've lived in a very hot place and now you're living here as it gets hotter. How I mean, how urgent is this? How urgent is major infrastructural and behavioral change I mean, I think there is infrastructural change needed across the world. I mean, Buenosalas, for example, in January just shuts down. It's a ghost town. almost the whole of January. There are power cuts because everybody's got their air conditioning on. and the system can't cope with that. So everywhere, even the hottest places in the world still have to find new ways of adapting because they're also getting hotter This isn't changing. this isn't going to get easier. If you're struggling now, you need to make a plan for the future. Pant trees in your garden now The only reason my house is an oasis. is because I have twenty to fifty year old trees all along the backnd that meets the school I don't live in an expensive property. I'm not very. But again, I mean again, you've got room to do that in West Sussex in ways that you wouldn't have to do it in North London or it would be much a West London But yeah, I mean, you're right, obviously, you don't say, well, we can't do that because not everybody can do it. You say to the people who can do it, do it It's that those two words are my words today, infrastructural behavioral what are the changes that we need to make And what I mean, we have to remember they will have to be unique to the United Kingdom LBC website carries a story by my colleague Fraser Knight about the mayor of London wanting maximum temperature limits to be introduced in offices. as he describes biblical weather events as now being an annual Currerens Antonio Guterres was speaking yesterday. He warned that London is cooking And this line here, we have just lived through the eleven hottest years ever recorded And today, this city, London, and far beyond is experiencing the hottest day of the year with higher temperatures to come. Historically, June's not even the hottest month, right?'s Auust, isn't it So we on a graph now? Are we on an accelerating graph What do we need to do differently I'll tell you what we really don't need to do. We don't need to have ludicrous dinosaur debates about whether or not children are too soft or back in my day we wouldn't have done this. It would be It would be a bit like sort of complaining that If another ice age came around, we'd be complaining about children complaining about how cold they are. This is number one, it's care And number two, it's science We need to adapt to a changing world. Even if you are convinced that the climate change isn't caused by fossil fuels and human beings, if you've inhaled Daily teelegraph editorials for the last thirty years, you can't argue with the temperature in your kitchen right now. That's not an opinion, that's counting And it's normal In fact, the front page of the Guardian today goes the new normal question mark. I don't think it needs a question mark The hottest ever June day Yesterday, in the UK, France breaking heat records Extremes are driven by climate crisis. That's not an opinion it's counting But the question that perhaps we don't ask often enough because we're too busy arguing about whether or not climate change is real, spoiler alert it is, is what can we actually do to make our lives more Terable. I don't know. z three four five six zero six zero nine seven, three Dominic Ellis is here with your headl times Granger knows, when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HVack on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, click Granger. com or just stop by Granger. For the ones who get it done. U ten thirty four is the time. I don't think we've got a clue actuallyually and u That's quite worrying, isn't it? So Sadk Kandidate launches London's heat plan, and the temptation to respond by going, What really? That's not going to touch the sides is almost irresistible expanding access to public drinking water and blue spaces are among the priority areas of focus set out in the plan entitled Heat Ready London And this is a politician who has literally reduced hospital admissions forreathing breathing difficulties and decimated pollution. poison that we breathe, the poison that our children breathe. So D Khan has done more than I think any politician on the planet to drive those figures down once again, a bit like the a Charl Neston thing at the end of Planet of the Apes, you've got that memory of how mad everybody went over Yz, which has turned out to have been an absolutely brilliant idea. credit to him and credit to Boris Johnson, who originated it So the political challenge of getting people to change their behaviour is clear Cammy Baderot joined some U. S. anti abortion activists and various far right parties u a kind of I don't even know how you describe it, a weird gathering of weirdos In London earlier this week and they were attacking Ed Milliband and attacking Net Zero and literally attacking science, attacking reality. It'd be nice to think that the politicians who I don't know what you get for five million quid these days, but if I wanted to open loads and loads of data centers which would involve massive amounts of energy consumption, then I'd certainly want a politician or two in my pocket who'd insist that Net Zero wasn't real Maybe the heat will make us a little bit less patient with politicians who lie about climate change. but in Kami Badenot's case, she seems to have gone in the opposite direction As the sciences become ever more irresistible, she's changed her position and become anti science Here we go discussing it. So I don't think we've got a clue Prove me wrong. Oho three, four, five, six zo six zero nine, seven three. know why they have awnnings in hot country. So Keith is a visionary That's not a phrase that I've ever uttered before and I doubt I ever will again But Keith is a visionary. Keith is fascinated by by the temperature in his home Genuinely fascinated by it too couldould I say to a slightly geeekish degree? But you're sitting there now thinking,aha, welcome to my world, everybody. So if you put awning above your windows, as Keith has done, The sunlight can't get into your house So the shade in the same way that your cap, your baseball cap has a visor on it. Yeahah You're wearing a baseball cap, the sunlight can't get into your eyes, so you put a visor or an awning. That's why they exist in hot countries And the sunlight then can't get to the window in anything like the way it can when you haven't got an aing. I mean, it's mad, right But all public buildings should have awnings There you go You're going to elect me on the strength of that promise are you? Daniel's in gate said, Daniel, what would you like to say Hi, James. Hier. Yeah, so I've lived in some very hot countries most of my life. So I grew up in Portugal where the hot sum I remember was fifty three degrees Celsius in the euclipse forest in Docamento. but Yeah I also lived in M. Do they have siestas in winter? Do they have siestas in winter It's very surprisingly cold in winter. I know. That's why I'm asking, do they still have? I just don't know mate. I don't know. I only go to hot countries in summer. Do you have siestas in winter Not really No. so this is part of the problem. Often with these sorts of things it's quite a complex answer. It's the same thing with climate change. it just requires a lot of lots of changes And's just all I've been hearing a lot this morning is people saying, o, I've got to install air conditioning, but air conditioning contributes to the problem because it creates a lot of heat. And we've got very, very leaky houses, right? and housing that doesn't really do very well with that sort of thing. So it's funny how people make a conversation about air conditioning, but then all of a sudden heat pumps aren't a thing So I've got an old Edwardian house here in Benchham in central Benham And I installed a heat pump nice and cozy during the winter. It saved me in total, I've saved about one thousand seven hundred pounds last year. in energy bills and stuff like that. Now when it comes to during the summer, we have to insulate our homes, but you don't need air conditioning. you just need to know how to manage it better. So what have you done? What have you done? I've got everything closed, right? except for one window at the top and one window at the back of the house Right. And what it does is it brings cold air from the bottom of the house through the house and out the top my house is now nice and cool. Is it really? Yeah, yeah,s nice and cool. How many is it three stories. So have you opened like a dormer in the roof then? U there is a yeah, yeah, there's like a roof kind of window sort of thing, right? That's it. and that creates a throughdraft Yeah, yeah. and you just got to, you know, all the curtains are closed, all the windows are closed and all those sorts of things, right? But you know, for example, this morning I was listening to how people were saying how it's ridiculous that we're sending kids home at midday when supposedly it's had its hottest, right That exactly what they do in Spain. they do. Everybody knows that. Some people pretend not to understand it because they don't like thinking about things. But it's like in Spain, some holidays for kids are three months long, and they haven't got half term. That's why a lot of Athenian families go to the islands for the entire summer. The whole population shifts and moves. So there are things we can't do because they're not baked into our culture or our behavior. But there are things we can do, and that would involve property management is what I'd describe what you We have this opportunity to kind of I going to say like rebuild what we need to do for the future, right? So you know it's just funny how at wintertime we're talking about cold houses and moldy houses. And then at summertime it's way too hot and too all these sorts of things. So surely our problem are houses So it's funny how we then talk about things like insulation and heat pumps and cooling and One part of the argument is ridiculous and the other part's not. I don't really get it we have to think about this much more logically and much more kind of practically. And thenday on Tuesday, you had a bloat called Chris Rright, a former fossil fuel executive who Trump made energy seecretary claiming the climate cris is exaggerated and that European countries have realized their mistake and are now trying to pivot back towards fossil fuels or pivot away from net zero and people like Cammy Bader and Nigel Farage were attending the same Event, that's what that's what humanity is up against. Yeah, yeah. I mean, as you know, I own a business here in Gateshead and you know, if businesses think that this sort of thing is going to be good for them, it's absolutely not You know, it's not good at all, right? And we can't just carry on with the way they' going on. I mean, my business has grown twenty eight percent year on year. We love your business. rememind me what it's called in the coffee shop in the park. It's prison coffee. Prison coffee. There you go. And you're a very early adopter of environmental Yeah It's a really big part. from the absolute get goo, I haven't had to change any single thing about my company over the past three and a half years, right? So I've been able to reduce energy by over ten percent while increasing your business by twenty eight percent. Right things like that. that's saving me like operational costs and all those sorts of things, right? It's just part of the arguments that we're having, but you know you'd like to think, oh, well, here in the park, it's really great for business It's actually not, it's too hot You don't want to be out. It's not a great day for phoneing shows to be honest with you. unless you're in air conditioned environment. The last thing you want to do is pick up the phone and start sweating out of your ear while you talk to me. But luckily we're pushing through, Daniel, we're pushing through. goodood luck. And that I mean he's just right, you know, everyone should be doing it. All this sort of right wing talk about energy bills are too high. You should be looking at ways of reducing them by using less energy, not by reducing the cost of energy It's a no brainer, but then you read that Kamy Badenot joined anti abortion activists and European far right parties At a conference where Ed Milliband was described as a villain and Britain's net zero policies came under fire from, Wait for it, right wing populists and wealthy US backers linked to Donald Trump. So let's just go to Iidiot's corner quickly Jons there. Jam, you've been on air for twenty five minutes and you haven't blamed the hot weather on Brexit or Nigel Farraidge. Are you feeling okay? John, it is precisely the right wing politicians who are in the pockets of foreign billionaires and fossil fuel billionaires billionaires, they are precisely the people that are informing idiots like you that climate change is not something that they need to worry about. So you're so nearly there, John You're so nearly there It is always, always about the money. Follow the money and you will find the reasons why people like you have being persuaded to act against your own interests and your own children or grandchildren's health although Probably not allowed to see them. ten forty three is the time. Mary is in Hayward's Heath. Mary, what would you like to say? Oh, hello James. I thought for one awful moment you were going to put in idiot's corner. Don't be ridiculed Well you haven't spoken y. I can't make any guarantees or promises, Mary, but I have a sense we'll be okay Okay, I'm ringing to give a bit of a shout out to all the poor early years teachers out there. I'm a monon storory teacher. on nursy had to You're going to sort your phone line out Mary. Sorry about that. I'll Well, I'll probably come back to you, if not it'd be Kevin in Souther that next and then you. You're listening to Jes O'Brien on LBC U Listen, none of this is binary. So you know, air conditioning good, air conditioning bad isn't binary Obviously, air conditioners create heat, but it's heat that's being pumped outside while the inside is getting cooler. But Equally, as Daniel explained to us, there's things you can do in your home that would be as effective I think some heat to some heat pumps Go the other way, and can some heat pumps pump cold? E? I don't even know. And that's part of the problem None of us know. None of us have got a clue what to do to make an extremely hot country easier to live in, and we are becoming, for several months of the year now, an extremely hot country It's ten forty five When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done Call one eight hundred Granger, click ranger d. com or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done T forty seven, you're listening to James O'Brer on LBC. It' a question of what we need to do. I don't know. Psychology needs to drive the politics. It breaks my heart to read about this conference in London. Farage was there yesterday. Let me just read you just a couple of lines. This is what's going on in London this weekk This actual week, the hotest June ever Hottest June night ever last night. could be even higher today. The eleven hottest summers we've ever had The eleven hottest years we've ever had as a species And in London, right now, you've got a conference heavily backed by the owners of GBBs, the hedge fund manager Paul Marshall, the Dubai based investment Group logatum. A list of donors for this year's conference also shows that it's received financial backing from powerful US donors with close ties to the Trump administration How psychopathic do you have to be to look at Trump and think we want more of that over here That's what we need. drill, baby drill This week These people are still gathering to tell lies about climate change. Analysis by DSmOog, which is a climate investigation outlet and green pieces unearthed found that the donors include Anthony Pratt, an Australian born billionaire who reportedly donated fourteen million dollars to the Trump supporting MGa Super PC, another one point one million dollars to the President's inaugural fund The American fossil fuel companies are there donating to this conference in our capital city this week Arguing against climate change science, Howard Energy Partners, HacO Energy Group, they threw in some cash. They also helped to fund last year's event. HEP, the first one, is one of the largest energy infrastructure companies in the U.S. and inevitably, its CEO was appointed to the National Petroleum Council by Donald Trump in February of this year They are also, of course, hostile to immigration and multiculturalism, these people because they have managed somehow to bring net zero into those nativist, often racist rhetoric And here we are wondering what the hell we can do about it I'll tell you what, there won't be people donating millions and millions and millions of dollars to make humanity safer and happier in the way that these people are spending millions of millions and millions of dollars to keep the money flowing while the rest of us suffer. And their own children suffer as well This at the end of a on't look up, isn't it? They' fly off in a spaceship and leave Everybody on eararth to die Dystopian and excessive and hyperbolic But it's not entirely implausible. Let's go back to Mary and the early years teachers. Whaty' somebody think of the early years teachers, Mary Oh hi James. I hope you can hear me now. Loud't care Good. So I'm a Montessori teacher and our Montessori nursery had to close yesterday The baby room had to close first thing in the morning because it was unsafe for them to be in there at the temperature. Ch snowflakes. I'm just pretending to be a different type of person. I know I know I've it I've heard it all, I've heard it all. And then the rest of the nursery as a day progressed. babies these days, they don't know they're born, do they And we've got most of our children are under the age of four. so We've got quite small rooms, no obviously no airc Fans that don't work, children sweating, we're not allowed outside all day because there's not enough shade. And we've been told anyway, you're not allowed, even if there is any shade, you're not allowed to take them outside So these four little ones are sitting there sweltering with us, not able to teach them anything because it's just too hot Anyway, my solution, I suddenly came to it this morning. it's my day off obviously and I went out for a walk into my local forest And it's beautifully cool, shady. and there's actually a playground under the trees. completely shaded. And I thought What are we doing? We've got all these poor children in use sweltering nurseries all over the country. We need to move all our early use settings into forests Forest schools for everyone. Love it And this will help with their mental health. We know that being outside in nature is brilliant for young children and it's free We don't need air corn, we don't need air. I mean I mean it might rain, remember. I don't want to be like you know rain well I don't want to rain on your particular parade. No you can build some kind of rudimentary places for us to sh. You're talking about the younger children. There the forest schools near me actually, and I think they're quite popular in Scandinavia as well. where there is obviously a lot of forest But what you speak to is the need to really think originally, that the need to really think of things that may initially sound a bit fanciful or a bit far out or a bit left field because this is an unprecedented change to how we live our lives Interestingly, James, I've just I've literally just come back and corded No line's gone again. neverever mind. I look forward to our next conversation. ten fifty two is a time. Just in case you think I'm exaggerating with all these All these links and the fact that you can trace an awful lot of what is going on in this country in the denial of science back to Donald Trump donors. Here is Donald Trump was talking about Andy Burnham yesterday, and well, you can hear it for yourself I don't know anything. I see that he was, I guess the mayor of a town. I hear he's extremely liberal extremely So that means he probably won't open up the notes. You know, I gave H. I gave Kirstomer some pretty good advice. I said, open up the North Sea. I told this guy Fifteen times the North Sea is open it's just new licenses that they're not issuing because as the Academic I shared with you at the top of the show has explained in a letter to the Times today. Net zero is not an arbitrary slogan. It is dictated by the laws of physics. T to halt warming, net greenhouse gas emissions must stop If you'd taken millions and millions and millions of dollars from fossil fuel companies, as Donald Trump has done They want something in return And what they want in return is for you to keep pumping fossil fuels. both out of the ground and into the atmosphere. That's what they want. They don't give fourteen million dollars to his super pack Because they've just got a bit of money lying around and they found it down the back of the sofa. They don't fund a conference in London that Kammy Badenock and Nigel Farrage are dancing for coins at. A ume' doing it for free to be fair, although with Farraage, it's always impossible to know, isn't it? You could have been given five million quid to turn up. He's never going to tell you O M But they're not doing it for fun. It's none of your business, by the way, whether Nigel Farrage got paid five million dollars to turn up at this thing and speak out against climate change or whatever it is. That's according to him. it's none of your business whatsoever, how much money he gets given by very, very rich people with very, very clear agendas. But they don't do it for fun. They give people like Trump this money so that Trump then goes to bat for them. and on this occasion, they're batting for fossil fuels And our country has got lots and lots of people in it who forgive me for being rude, are too stupid to realise what's happening to them Or too incurious, shall we say, that's probably kinder but it is Iirrefutable. it's inarguable. And yet it's still happening. Kevin's in Souther, Kevin, what would you like to say? Yeah, Good morning. G. G show, great debate. Vy kind. Three points I'd make, which I think is missing not just from your show, but a whole of LBC and the BBC and all the rest of them. Good morning. One is long term versus short term. The other one's income wealth and income equalities, wealth and income inequalities, and the other one's complexity, whichich funny enough, all that mirrors Brexit. I don't think you were listening yesday, Kevin in Souther. Were you I might not have done it. Yeah because I covered all of that. didid it in spades, mate. done it. o. You have to put me in on the naughty step or whatever. I mean when I say long term versus short term, you think okay, Burnham turns up in Downing Street. what's his main objective to get reelected in three years? And net zero is much longer than climate change is a much longer issue You walk around where I'm living here in Souther it, you see brand new buildings going up with obviously no measures whatsoever to deal with climate change. And why is that? Because the companies that build them they're short term, they want quick buck Then the other thing is that, okay, your listeners, all good suggestions of things we could do, we could have blinds and stores and the rest of it this cost money.. So where's that going to come from? And as again, another Brexit eoes, the people with the least money who are going to be hit the hardest and hurt the most by the policies being bought and paid for by the kind of people who've set up this conference in London this week And why' not just talking about people who are literally on the breadline. I live in a row of houses here which are where they're middle class people. Most of them they won't put solar panels up, they don't put blinds up and all those because they can't afford to do it. They don't have the money. And The other thing as well linked to that is the if we think about what happened with the cigarette lobby, which took what fifty years to try and push back on them, your lobby is far more powerful way more powerful in terms of just the amount of money involved. That's a difficult one. And the third one on complexity. well, I mean, I worked for an outfit called OECB in Paris on the common agicultural policy, which is highly complex. I think the public have a problem trying to understand what climate change is about because it is complicated. And we had to bring in meteorologists from the Met office in Britain, scientists to explain to us economists what it's all about. We were shocked That's really interesting, isn't it? Because because I mean the more complicated it is, the more opportunities there are for populists to tell comforting lies Exactly. So I'm wondering if the term net zero is very useful for the outage but I might be interesteding to have a poll find how people could define what' meant by it. Can we think of a better one Well, that's a problem. I don't know. How do you do that? I don't know. I mean Be as Brian Hoskins points out, Sir Brian Hoskins points out in the Times todayays chair of the Grantham Institute at Imperial College London, it's not an arbitrary slogan. I mean it simply means that until we reach net zero emissions as in we are putting into the atmosphere, net zero emissions, then climate change will continue to fuel Emore But you're right, I think probably it needs even more. Explaining than that. It needs somehow to be even clearer that we have to be deriving all of our energy from things that don't involve pumping exhaust fumes into our children's lungs I think young people are getting it through schools young people are getting everything get it. They are, but whether or not I mean the mountain will be climbable by the time they reach their majority, only time will tell. So a little bit of a self defense there. Kevin, we did touch on a lot of that yesterday, including the compomarison with China, which you didn't make and obviously underpins what you say about thinking decades or centuries ahead politically. Let's go to Wayne, who is in pllantoon Cose and I' going have to finishing. I'm sorry, Tnd Soni she's got it perfect. Singo. carry on wine. Yeah. Yeah, so I've Butver the last fifteen or sixteen years I've been growing from acorns I'm trying to recreate a temperate rainforest because they're very they're very rare in the country. and you know, it basically consists of oak trees with lots of mosses, ferns and lichens and things like that, you know very rare ones on very well, mean someome of the trees are over twenty foot tall now. Oh, you are amazing. What an incredible sense of achievement you must get when you just look at that Oh, unbelievver. I just sit underneath the trees and see the birds sit in the trees and think, I' planted them as acorns like That's amazing less than twenty years ago. But the main thing is what You know, when they build when they build new towns and things like that, the area I've got is less than half a football pitch But because the way because of the way it's been designed, you could have twenty, twenty five people in there all getting rest underneath the shade And not being able to see each other, if you see what I mean? So it's got like a little coziness to it. And I know you've got the problem of people not being it This is the problem in towns and things like that. You wouldn't be able to have something like that because people can't see each other. So you've got the possibility of people hiding behind a trees jumping out on people and all that sort of stuff Yes, I hear you. but you I mean, this is the point, isn't it? No one's going to be able to come up with a with a single solution So the answers to the question that I'm asking are myriad and we should do as many of them as possible Yes. But the things you see, I was just saying to somebody that on the phone earlier on that I was just about to come I don't know who that was, by the way. They were just walking past and the phone was ringing and they just picked it up Were they allright? Were they polite to you Who's that? The person you spoke to on the phone, I don't know who it was. They were just walking past the studio and they came in and picked up the I don't know went to the looue. There was just complete stranger walking past the studio. They just came in and picked up the ringing phone and then put you on the radio. Right. Really? Well that was lucky then. I know The it means is the temperature in the woodlands is about ten, fifteen degrees difference from being this was created, as I said, in less than twenty years. Do know the two best times to plant trees, Wayne Yeah, on. twentyenty years ago and now Yeah yeah, exactly. You've got it. You've got it, mate. I haven't got it. And the thing is it didn't cost anything. that's the whole point about it. You know what I mean? It was Where did it come from? So I'm late for the news. I shouldn't have gone off on that mad tangent about someone picking up the phone. So my apologies for that. but where did the idea come from? When did you suddenly think to yourself? I can't do much, but I'll do what I can U Basically because I was retired and I've always wanted to put something back. But with me being in ADHD, I've never been able to do that. But now that I'm retired, I can do that. So it's just basically I've got the availability to do it. so I decided I hadd to do it. Making you morally the polar opposite of the people who turned up at this ARC or ARC conference in London Earlier this week two minutes after elevent because they're constantly thinking, how can I take more out How can I take more out? How can I take more out? How can I take more oil out of the sea? How can I take more money out of the population? How can I take more out? How can I take more out? How can I take more out. H's Nigel Fris to deliver speech H's Camy Badenock to deliver how can I take more out and And there's Wayne in Sam Suni in Cararthenshire. I'm just wondering how we can give more back eleven two Six minutes after eleven. You're right. lots of people getting in touch to say what a lovely bloke Wayne sounded like. He really did, didn't he? And I'm glad I spotted that connection between Wayne down in Wales who just wants to give something back. so he's trying to build his own temperate rainforest And all of the people who gathered in London this week under the auspices of an organization set up by Jordan Peterson, I learn this morning to essentially rail against Net zero and immigration and multiculturalism and all the other things that The people who wish you harm are convinced they can persuade you to believe are the real threat H I have well listen, I want to talk about Andy Burnham's reported intention to in highly likely event of him becoming Prime Minister to move some of the operations, some of the prime ministerial machinery to Manchester, Cotonopolis, my second favourite city with apologies to Birmingham and Edinburgh, which I have enormous soft spots, but Manchester just gets the nudge on second only to London Dublin's coming up fast actually, if you're interested in such things, but I haven't yet spent quite enough time there for it to have assumed a sort of permanent place at the very top of my affection But listen, did you hear me say someomewhat embarrassing or embarrassedly, is that a word, Keith? embarrassedly somewhat embarrassedly I said some time ago, without really being able to explain it, that I think it's important for the next Prime Minister to have a Northern accent And I meant it. I mean, I always say you know what I'm like. You might not. You might have just tuned in for the first time by accident. in which case Probably your day peaked That's about as good as it's going to get stumbling across this show by accident. It's probably going to be the highlight of your twenty twenty six Um I like to understand things and I don't really know why I think it's important that the next Prime Minister has a Northern accent. I don't really know. For the record, my roots are very northern. You wouldn't know it from the way that I speak or the fact that I've lived in Londonince since my first year of university. but my father is from Leeds, my mother is from Sheffield. My childhood was really defined by their friendships with people that they had had known in Doncaster where we lived, Sheffield where dad worked, then we moved to the Pak district, which for me counts as the north. So although bits of it would be technically the East Midlands. I'm talking about Glossop Derbyshire, that's my life That's who I am really in terms of my childhood. the Northern accent, the Yorkshire accent normally with a sort of side serving of Lancashire were the accents of my childhood Even though from the age of about three and a half, I was growing up in the Midlands Prior to that and you know, those formative friendships that people make in their twenties, the ones that really set you up for life, thoseose were the friendships that my parents had withith my goparents. so my goparents are from Stockpore and Doncaster and And that's kind of who I am. And that might be why somewhere inside I've always felt that The North is not properly understood or appreciated by Londoners, not southerners particularly, because I'm sure that rural Sussex feels alienated from London in some ways or rural Kent obbviously does the seaside towns do that they all vote UKIip so they can't possibly feel that they're part of modernity. And London represents modernity. London represents the future in many ways, the present and the future. And the fact that London is such a fantastic place is what boils the Blood of the kind of people who' turned up at this conference this week to tell lies about climate change and rail against immigration and diversity London is their Kryptonight. That's probably why they're here. So they can all desperately try to get mugged and then claim that London is the worst place on the planet. It's why they hate Sadep Khan because he is a thrice elected Muslim mayor of our capital city. and Londoners keep electing him. U So why do I think it matters I don't actually know But it's the same thing, isn't it? When Andy Burnham is reported to be looking to set up a number ten in the North, moving part of his prime mininisterial operation to Manchester in what the Financial Times describes as a radical attempt to shift power beyond Westminster. If you, by the way, ever feel that you're not sufficiently a fe with matters northern. you could do a lot worse than read every single word ever written by Jennifer Williams, the Financial Times Manchester correspondent, who probably the North of England correspondent actually, who is one of the best journalists in the business, on any brief, on any patch whatsoever And it is she that quotes one person briefed on Burnham's plans are saying Andy has big plans on devolution. And that includes having an office in the North. Burnhams himself has declined to comment, but a spokesman said he would set out his devolution plans in due course. It's weird for me to feel something that I can't fully explain I find myself thinking this is a really good idea or feeling that this is a really good idea without really being able to explain why. And I think it's about my own duality this I think it's about the fact that I love London. I never really wanted to live anywhere else once I reached my majority And and yet large parts of my heart remain in the region and Disconnect is real the way in which London is perceived. is negative outside London And I don't think we realize that. And part of the reason why we don't realize that is that we don't spend enough time caring what you think We really don't spend enough time caring what you think. And it's not that London is perceived in a negative way because of all the racist lies on Twitter and all the anti sadit kam propaganda It's just a little bit I can't really put it into words, but it was true when I was a kid. You know, bizarrely, I was just thinking about Kiderminster. and as I was thinking about Kiderminster, where I grew up, Alist texted to say, I've just driven through Kidderminster. It's looking more God forsaken than usual. how dare you cast a spurgeent on the of my ancestral home Growing up in Kidamissa, I remember if I would say to an adult that I wanted to move to London. They would They'd look at me a little bit of scance. Everybody that wanted to move to London essentially moved to London and there was just what is the word that I'm looking for I think it's the same phenomenon. I promise I haven't got heat stroke. I have thought this through The reason why I feel but can't articulate that it would be a good thing for the Prime Minister to have a Northern accent Who was the Prime Mister with a Northern accent Was it Harold Wilson Deputy Prime Minister Jon Prescott okay, I'll give you that William Haake, oh he was Prime minister, was he bless him And it's not really a Northern accent, is it? It's a I mean it is a technically a Northern accent, but it's a very strange accent, William Hay. Um I think it was Harold Wilson. so I can't articulate why it matters and I might be patronising you I'm not going to patronize you to the point of saying Why a Northern is so funny or something like that. But I might be patronizing you by saying I think that the next Prime Minister should sound more like you than me I think and this is really odd and I hope it's not patronizing, but if it is, I'll take my medicine As long as you serve it I think when Kair Starmer sought to establish his working class credentials, which were impeccable I know they lied about him, claimed his dad was a business, It was the factory owner and stuff like that. but You know, he was the son. he is the son of a toolmaker. He went to state schools. He essentially represents, like Bridget Phillipson, an extraordinary story of British social mobility But it didn't work because he looked like a Londoner and London has looked privileged to everybody else Even though we've got epic poverty in our city We've got epic poverty living cheek by jowl with epic wealth I remember when I'd spent a lot of time in Notting Hill, it was extraordinary. The way in which a five million pound house could be right on the lip of a council estate that had some of the worst levels of poverty in the country, not just a city And yet to outsiders, London looks privileg and because London, this is a theory, by the way, which you are not only welcome, but indeed compelled challenge if you want to and if you can. London looks privileged. to everybody else And because London looks privileged, Westminster looks out of touch with the concerns of people outside London I think this is true I think it's part of the answer to the question of why I feel it's important for the next Prime Minister to sound more like My dad, the me more like my momum than me becausecause it reminds us subconsciously that he's governing a country and not a constituency centered upon Westminster and can look tokenistic to say I'm going to move someome of my office, I'm going to set up a number ten in the North. It could look tokenistic or patronising But if it's authentic and sincere, then it's coming from the place that I'm trying and not entirely succeeding to describe. this sense that London has is through no fault of its own and no fault of the people that live here There's a there's a perception of detachment attached to London I wonder whether part of it and I'm going to get into difficult ry now I wonder whether part of it is the knowledge that you could move here if you wanted to didn't So There's something There's something negative there. I could have moved th. I wouldn't want to live in London, but it's You know, we've got a higher standard of living, higher wages, got I mean, it is in many ways, measurably better than everywhere else in the gar. But I wouldn't want I don't know. That's possibly a speculation too far that. Two questions really No, that's not true. About ten questions actually, because I'm in one of those moods. So the first is, do you think it matters that the next Prime Minister has a Northern accent And can you do a better job than me of explaining why All right. zero three four five, six zero six zero nine seven three. and If you Al, if you are outside London What generalization can you make about how London is viewed? What would you say? because I'm trying, but I've lived there since nineteen ninety one And the year before that I was in Manchester and For fifteen years before that, I was in Kidermminster I can't remember what it's like not to be in London What does London look like to people who aren't in London? and does that affect your response to or reaction to this suggestion that Andy Burnham is going to put part of his office, part of the machinery of power in Manchester The Northern question Do it canan you do a better job than me of explaining why you want a prime Minister who sounds more like you or more like my dad than me or Kir Starmer I think it really matters. I can't fully articulate why Ohero three four five six zero six zero nine seven three If you don't want to get involved in this sort of weird social conversation, tell me your reaction to the proposal to put some power in Manchester, to put parts of Um Andy Burnham's prrime mininisterial machinery in Manchester. Do you welcome that or do you think it's Tokenistic and a little bit patronizing. ero three four five sixzo six zero nine seven three and then And I know this sounds odd because you can never step outside the world you inhabit. but There's that wonderful line I quote a lot by Rabbie Burns about won't some power something gears to see ourselves as others seeers. If you could see yourself as others seeer, you'd achieve Much greater knowledge, much greater understanding and And there is a thing about that London. Isn't there? There is a thing about that London And I can't remember what it is because I've lived here for thirty five years What is what is it What does London look like from outside London. Why does that make it a good idea for Andy Burnham to move some power. zero three, four, five, sixzero sixzero, nine seven three is the number you need I don't. Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HBac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, click Ganger d. com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done I'm afraid and you'll crucify me for this, but my understanding of Scottish accents is not sophisticated enough to place Gordon Brown. Obviously Scotland is technically North, but when I think of a Northern accent, I'm thinking of social class, I'm thinking of socioeconomic class. And I don't know where Gordon Brown's Coti accent sits on a graph that has a sort of Glaswegian dock worker at one end and Miss Jean Brody at the other. Do you see what I mean? So when I talk about a Northern accent? I'm talking about somebody who doesn't sound like they went to public school I think becausecause if you're posh, you sound the same whether you grew up in Barrick on Tweed. Birmingham or basazled in And that's what Kirirst Starmer sounded like through no fault of his own Anyway, I've done enough thinking out loud. It's your turn now. Michelle is in Skipton, which is one of the places where my family friends from My childhood also lived. so I don't know why I mentioned that anyway, Michelle, what made you pick up the phone Hey, James. Yeah, I've picked up the phone because I've always lived up North I've heard for years loans about things being London centric and the denials about things being London centric, but My question would be why are people so opposed to moving the power up north? Who's opposed to it? Well As soon as there's any mention of bringing things up north, it feels like there's lots of maybe wealthy businessmen, politicians that don't want that to happen. They like that things are in Westminster in London. All the more reason to do it. Exactly And as you're saying to the person answer the phone. D don't know who that is. Seriously, someone else just walking, P. We've got to get locks on these doors, K. Very polite. really? That's a relief. It could have been anyone I've got building work going on at the moment. I think it was a plumber Oh well, C go Yeah, the other thing was to tpe back into what you've also been talking about this week, the weather. Look at how hot it is in the central London this week.. Doesn't it make sense to move things further north getet out of itt use your business. Well, it is absolutely. but those arguments have been going around for a long time and people don't listen to them, but there's other arguments that are coming to the fore now as well, I think. And Burnham seems to be and it might not last and he might muff it up or it might fall apart. He does seem to be on board with what you're saying. And if this proposal is followed through on, it would become a radical attempt to shift power beyond Westminster and wealth follows power Yeah, and it would, you know, it's not saying that the North would become wealthier than the South. I don't think it would, but it would bring to a more equal position. It would bring more jobs up here. O wealth ofe if we can get business What happens to HS too? As soon as someone like, you know, as soon as a sort of home county stock broker like Richy Sunak ends up in Downing Street, is Syanara to HS too I mean, it just goes to show that sometimes the imagination doesn't extend much further than the M twenty five, the imagination of politicians Yeah. it feels like we don't count a lot of the time when these decisions are being made. Can you can you put that? into words, either you use the phrase earlily a London centric or it feels like we don't count. you Tell me when that feeling kicks, what sort of things promote or provoke that There was an example and I'm going back to when I think it was Richie Sunak, who was PM at the time withith the Northern constituency, remember? I think his constituencyies in Richmond, the thing. It is ye North Yorkshire. R in North Yorhire? ye And Yeah, I think it was it had even been some of the funds from HHS two. Yeah They'd recouped from canceling some of the plans and then they were bragging about spending it on transport in London. Yeah Well, I mean, that's it. it's perfect. I don't remember No, but then I wouldn't, would I in the way that you do because I'm on the right end of that. so I'm not going I'm not going to have an abiding sense of unhappiness about it. And so do you Does it sound a bit daft to you? when I say I think it's important that the next Prime mininister sounds more like you than me No, I don't sound thataft. Good. I would relish Yeah, I would because it's about you can't be what you can't see. and it would just sort of speak to an awareness and a consciousness of the country that extends beyond the confines of Westminster. And no, he's a creature, he was a creature of Westminster Andy Burnham. He has He has recalibrated, I hope. He has rebranded, certainly, but that can be skin deep, a recalibration would go rather deeper. Thank you, Michelle. Ryan is in Halifax. Ryan, what do you reckon Yeah, I think it's nice to talk to you, James Thank you I think it' the first thing to say just to add on to your previous call London is a completely different world to the rest of the country. You know the infrastructure, I travel between Halifax and Leed most days is around twenty miles. It takes me fifty five, fifty minutes on the train when they turn up. I was in London last weekend and there's a train every two minutes to get across the country. That's just across the capital, sorry. That's just one example. But you can tell from my accent, you know, I'm a northern person, a proud working class Northern person I'm an academic and I regularly receive kind of and Perhaps I wouldnt go as far to say as discrimination, but people mock my accent in academic circles on a a regular basis and And now I'm not for a second trying to put this alongside other forms of discrimination that people of color might feel, for example. off course, but it's still a discrimination. and it's still It's still Oothering you actually, in a way. Yeah, completely. And I think the fact that we're even kind of having this discussion around Andy Burnham being from the North, having a Northern accent just shows the kind of divide that there is in the country in terms of that Southern Base, you know, London Base u power is not distributed equally. it should be normal to have a northern accent from people in positions of power or a Northern accent in you know, high office, but it's just not that common and I think that to have somebody like that would perhaps start to bridge that gap that certainly exists in my experience any. Yeah, Well it becomes harder, I suppose, to sort of start talking about flat caps and whippets when the Prime Minister is you know on the world stage doing big things. may be harder. I don't know. The snobbery is is built in, isn't it? It's you can see it with Angela Ryna, partartly it's misogyny, but partly it's Snobbery the way that she's talked about and you get it from academic colleagues. How how does it kind of manifest itself Well, I won't name names, but somebody who I really admired recently. I was at a conference in Nottingham and he's This person is somebody that I I read a lot of the work and I've use the in by PhD and other things that I've written And I was really excited to meet him. was like, you know, I really enjoyed this pair, you know, it might sound a bit kind of. you know, really excited you know, really excited to me. I really like that dayat Yeahah and big dis person just like, Oh way up, what's it like up north? haveave you come like you just said, have you come have you got your flat cap in your back? Youit even now, even now in twenty twenty six. Yeah, and the thing about that is as you said, it immediately othterers you and it means that As it would be for you women in lots of spaces still or people of color in lots of pit spaces still, to do more to be deemed authentic. And if you look at somebody like Maybe not authentic's not the right word, but you've got to to do more to be kind of seen on a level. you're being told you've got less right to be there than he has. Exactly. And then you look at somebody like You know, Jacob E Smogg never crosses his mind he's not got the right. He's got such a right to be there. He'll have a little snooze on the benches in the House of Gons. And that money iss as dim as anybody who's ever been in any kind of public life. And yet because he has that that demeanor, that perception I've said there was a famous clip with Grace Blakeley who said felt myself being drawn into his I knew what he was saying was wrong, but the way that he was delivering pllausibility. Yeah. cost a fortune to imbue people with that. That's why our parentsent that's why my parents and others spend the money so that you don't get squeezed out of those conversations in the way that that academic tried to squeeze you out of the conversation for having a Northern accent. N never had a chat with my dad about that about the fact that I don't sound like him. but It was a deliberate decision that him and Mum took when they were contemplating my own education. Ryan, thank you. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. Well an absolute prp That bloke was. and despite his brilliant academic treatis is that was just ignorant behaviour that no one should have to deal with. It's eleven thirty one. F finines are open.zero three four five six zero six zer nine seven three. Dominic Ellis is here now with your headlines Tony. When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant You keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call one eight hundred Ranger, click ranger. com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done six minutes to twelve. None of this is fair or necessarily logical. London, I think, has the largest amount of people in poverty in the country, which is partly an economy of scale. There's more people here than anywhere else. so there's going to be more very poor people here than anywhere else. And yet to outsiders or non Londoners, perception of privilege or being detached from their lived experience, their reality is very hard to shake. and of course it cuts the other way I won't embarrass him by telling you which colleague it is, but one colleague described the North to me this morning as a foreign country about which they know almost nothing Like genuinely. I don't think they've ever been north.ave you I' just like visited Northern cities, Northern towns just never been there More likely to have spent time in Barcelona than Barnmsley And you know, Barcelona is a holiday destination, Barnsley, notot so much. So there is a logic to that, but if you were from Barnsley and you heard someone talking like that, you would feel as a Brit, I think at best patronised and at worst deeply insulted So it matters, right? It matters that the next Prime Minister will sound more like someomeone from the North than someone from the south. And if you sound like you come from the south and unless you're a sort of gor blimy cockony Then you sound L like you went to a privileged school You do kissed Armour does and he didn't. And I think that was part of his problem with perception. Darren is in hull, Darren, what would you like to say Hello James. I was born in Hull in East Yorkshire and at eighteen I moved to London to go to college And I was there for thirty five years. in London. And I've just moved back last summer, a year ago, actually, back to whole And I've got to say, you know, you think you're not, I don't think I'm a politically motivated person. but it's The difference is incredible. and to have you're talking about a prime mininister that has a Northern accent, I think it's about feeling being represented Yes Yes, and it might be a An unreliable means of representation, you could have someone with a Northern accent that you didn't agree with about anything, but it still feels as if it's been absent from the political landscape for generations Yeah, you know, when I say it feels being represented, obviously you know, it's about the experience, the, you know, the accent. When I'm in London, people think I'm from the north and when I'm in the north, people think I'm from London. I've got a weird accent with slightly dodgy flat vowels You know, I moved here last year after thirty five years in London. I came out of my house and a man across the road who was walking his dog said hello to me. I thought I was going to get stabbed was I was genuinely not I'm not saying that to get a laugh. I'm genuinely I was in fear. I was in fear and I thought, what has London done to me? Because that idea of being greeted by a stranger would just put you on your back foot immediately. What does he want? What does he want That's incredible Can you articulate it better than me? I know you said feeling represented, but you know, I'm sitting here in London, where I've also lived for thirty five years And I'm worried that it sounds patronizing when I say. I think it's very important that the next Prime Minister has a Northern accent because it will keep the natives happy. But it runs a bit deeper than that, right, Derent I think that's the tip of the iceberg to be honest. Yeah. I mean, you know if you said, I mean, you were just talking about Kir Stama being working class. Yeah. I have no idea what that means anymore. to be honest. But to be represented by somebody that's lived, not just lived in the North, but has like worked the North as I don't know a huge amount about Andy Berham, but I know what he's done for Manchester. And if you can do a ten percent of that for London or for the country of what he's done to Manchester, I think it's only a good thing. Well I've got you and for anyone who hasn't recognized your voice. You're Darren Littt I am but I wouldn't say my w which is very recognizable., But let's say you're well, I don't know, but You wrote Benador, right I wrote a show called Benadne, which also has a bit of a Northwest That's what I was about to nudge you towards actually. because it it plays on what we're talking about today, Benador. A little bit. Yeah. you know, it's I mean, it's about stereotypes and obviously that's the kind of You know, I use those to get a laugh, but we're talking about something slightly slightly different here. Yeahes, no we are, but it just struck me that because to me that's quite a It gives the upper hand to northerners in a way aorm and you don't see that very often in popular culture. And that's probably why every award that the show won was always voted by an audience and we never got a good review. You know, it's the guardian critic I remember the royal family, the first Review the Ral familyily gotw. Are we really supposed to believe people live like this? It's just extraordinary, isn't it? And they do. of them Well I mean, lots of people live like that. That was as much a snobbery and North South divides are impossible to separate because there'll be plenty of whatever it means. There'll be plenty of working class families in the southeast who recognizeed the royal family and recognize the dynamic of everybody sitting around the tele and talking over each other and it being almost like a campfire A community campfire, but yeah, I guess people reviewing television for the Guardian are not necessarily going to fit into that category. Also I'm wondering why people are so shocked and terrified at the thought of you know some departments being in Manchester. Are they genuinely? You're the second caller that said that. and I haven't yet encountered it kind of knee jerk negativity about it. You'd like to think it might be something that people were at best ambivalent about. or at worst ambivalent about and at best sort of cautiously optimistic. It just makes sense. We're a country, not a city. Of course power should be spread more thinly I know I know this is a slight not a political hot potato, but the BBC did that years ago, you know? Yeah with the move to Manchester, which did have people up in ar. It's made. It's been plain sailing ever since, Darren. Dar, they must look back on that as the moment where everything changed for the better for the BBC and all the carping and criticism disappeared forever Thank you, Mate. lovely stuff. twenty minutes to twelve is the time. Big fan actually, as I hope as you could tell Phillips in Hartleypool Philip, what would you like to say Aams. Yeahah. youitten Have you written any smash hits sitcoms, Philip U No, I've wrote a screen player once and I got a rejection from W and title. There prractically related. Go on. where did you pick up the phone today? Yeah. Well, couple of things. So I've been discussing with producer there. she said You only know you've got an accent when somebody points it out you've got an accent Y So I'm from Harleyfool, Northeast England. Everybody ts the majority But we'll say we're not Geordge East but then even in Harleypool, people say to me, where you're from? because I don't really have a harool accent, although I'm born and bred They can't place you immediately but to my colleague who thinks the North is a foreign country, you just sound northern So and so many Manchester's down south anyway, so what's everybody about Do you think it matters to have a prime mininister who sounds to his southern ears More like you than me U notot really no. it's about the caliber of the person. should If they're so small minded that think You know, like with like youve said before with Angela Rna, you know People can't get past their accents so they just write or off. it's terrible. But that's an argument in favour of what I'm saying, not against. It might not be the world we want to live in, but the world it is the world we live in. and having a prrime minister with a Northern accent will undo some of the prejudice and stereotyping that you and Darren and others have described. Yeah I think In terms of moving departments and things like that, it's been going on for years I used to work for DWP They moveved their office when it was a DFS to Leeds in ' ninety three very first called quQarry house, the locals call it the Kremlin because it's red brick. Did it was It's still there it's still there Channel moved a lot of its operations to Leeds as well, although I think the bosses all stayed in London. so it's always a little bit tokenistic when when that happens. the when the BBC was in Manchester, some of the big presenters I know would spend more time on the train or the plane up and down than they would in the studio. So they didn't move. So what's achieved by doing that? notot a lot, Whereas having an actual Northerner in Downing Street is much less than window much more than me a window dressing, isn't it You know, if Berham wants to move number ten operations out. So, you know, prrime ministers go out of the country to go to the cheequers. Now you know have done that for years and years and years. but if Burnham now was to go to Castle Howard for the weekend, well what does that make any difference? Ban have could Yeah they could compulsory purchase Heaton Park. That might be nice I don't know, but I just feel and I think most people do as well that it would be a force for good, even if we can't fully or completely articulate exactly why it's eleven forty four. You're listening to James O'Brien on LBC. Time to contribute to this is Thursday, of course, a mystery around the corner at twelve. but there is something here U it is it is a vibe. Normally I'm not a big fan of feelings overcoming facts in and political conversations, but sometimes they matter. And listen, I mean it's lovely as someone's just messaged to say, I can't believe Darren Lyittton who wrote Benedor just called James like a regular punter. Everyone's a regular punter on this show. I'm a regular punter on this show. Everybody's equal. You should know that by now. This is the u, you know Socialist republic. Um The stereotyping cuts both ways. So coronation street script writers. probably done more to entrench in the minds of some television viewers what we've been talking about for the last forty four minutes than anybody else. this is proof of that particular pudding I'm on my way to London London She's on her way to London. London. I' go to London this afternoon. I'll be out your air then. London. University College, London. London. We're going to London London. Oh and where? London Give London a go, London? No. I've been banging on to Barlow's door for ages is' no answer? No, no she's in London. London. I'm staying here a few days then I'm moving to London. I've got a job interview on Monday. London? Yeah, the money's great. Oh It's in London. London? Bus is back from London. London. London Why are you saying it like that Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building. you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog, H backac on its last leg, If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Granger, clickranger d. com or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done It is eleven forty eight. Ashy Northampton, who steered us so expertly through conversations about the Strait of Hormz has put pen to paper. he's published himself, a volume called The Hormmuz Crisis volume one, the llusion of open seas. looking at what he has so expertly helped us to understand. And if you follow me on Blue Sky where I known as Mr. James OB, then you will see that I've just re ared I've just shared a link to that book so that you can have a look at it for yourself. Yeah. I mean you could be one of the best informed people in the country on the Strait of Horm Mz and all the attendant issues that we have been wrestling with since February, simply by reading that book In incredible And speaking of things that you should be subscribing to, that little advert there for Nick Abbott, If you're not familiar with Nick Abbott's work He's the daddy He is the king of a certain type of radio which I would describe as brilliant radio. He's the king of brilliant radio. Okay And if you haven't discovered him, and you know what my ego's like. So there's a tiny little bit of me that hate saying this to you. he's the best He's the best. The way the places he takes you on the radio No one else can take you And if you haven't discovered him, if you haven't listened to him, you are in for such an almighty treat. And that new subscription offer there is such a wonderful way to immerse yourself in Nick magical universe. And both Nick Abberott and Cllyive Bull actually every time I think I've had a good idea, I do it on the radio and someone pops up to say, Oh yeah, Cllyive did that three hundred forty seven years ago, or Nick did that last Tuesday. I don't know think I've ever had an original idea in my life. I don't nick their ideas But I certainly best I can claim is that perhaps sometimes lightning does strike twice, but it strikes first with Nick Cabott. So check that out seriously. And thank me later. Back to the north. Sue is not in the North. She's in Hampshire. She's in Tufton, Sue. what would you like to say I'm not in the North, but I am from the North. I'm from Darwin in Lancashire. What I wanted to say is my experience having worked at a senior level in central government is very much like one of your previous calls in that you know I was absolutely shocked by some of the attitudes towards me because of my accents. And also it was weird to me to not just my accent, but there's very few regional accents at that level in government And You mean civil service or politician So because they've done the exams, they've gone to the Red Brit universities, if they had some accents to start with, they've been shaved off between the ages of eighteen and twenty five Maybe or not possibly but a lot of the people that at my equivalent level went to private school. they didn't come from the regions. You know, you talk to them about their backgrounds, they didn't come from the regions. I think I met odd northerner and we would look at each other across meeting tables because you always have to introduce yourself. And it you know we were unusual.. And I think it's also it's not just about having the accent, it's about lived experience.. Well I went to London having worked in economic development regeneration in my day job and I was a senior counsellor for a local council Blad and with Dahw and deputy leader. So I already had a sort of a view that policy was London centric And but hopeful that maybe when I got there because I stood down and I went for this job and got it, but it was very clear to me that they're quite pationonizing about the North. One of my bosses once said to me, he couldn't think of a decent leader in the North And I said that's because you don't get out of London. I could name you ten in an instance. So it's about people who don't have that experience writing policies of parts of the country that they don't understand And in so many ways. So I suppose most obviously to me, with my very southern perspective, public transport would be very near that. You've got absolutely no idea what it's like to live somewhere where there's one bus a week two buses a day because you step out of your front door. I step out of my front door. I'm on a bus within three minutes Yeah. My town and I when I worked, I worked in Manchester for a while and there was a train once an hour. That train because from where I came from was a single track. If one was delayed, that was it, that you were delayed for the whole day or they would just cancel a train to try and catch up So it's just not the same. And thing with Andy Burnham if it is Andy Burnham., I would say that he's coming out of the center because I came across Andy when I was working as a senior civil servant. His difference is he's come out to Manchester and he's actually experienced what it's like to work, try and work with central government, which is very south based. and he'll come with that experience. So it's not just about having an experience, it's about it's about that linkage across and seeing the frustrations when you've got really capable people in the North who are just being dismissed ' worry. I'm glad you've raised that point about private education because It's obviously it's a bit of a hang up of mind because it works. you know, and I'm a massive beneficiary of it. and simultaneously I know that that's not fair I'm thinking about Sandhurst actually and the fact that if you went to a school like mine, you went automatically to officer training. you went to Sandhurst. If you went to a normal school, you went into the ranks. It's a nineteenth century approach to think. So if you go to private school and then university, the civil service exams are one of the options that's in front of you you know, the city that we used to call it the Milk ground, those those jobs, you're not brighter. You won't even necessarily have a better degree or better A levels than people from less privileged backgrounds, but there's a sort of vocabulary privilege and the last place it should be is government So my background is, I grew up in a counil estate. I went to a comp I left school at sixteen. I eventually went back as a mature student, did my degree. I gained my experience really in being a trade union rep. And then I went to work in regeneration. It was a bit of a fluke really that I got that job in London. because I came in at a senior level I applied for the job thinking well Nothing ventuure, nothing gained Y. And I got it. And then wein about weirdly. the job I was doing was about partnerships And within six weeks of being in the department, my boss left. And I was already at a very senior level, if you will, but if you looked at it in terms of the number of people at that level in the regions. But they put me in temporary charge and then I went through a whole process and was given senior wasn't given I achieved through that process grade five, which is senior Civil Con And how many grade fives would have been from a background like yours roughly I didn't meet one person. I went to every year, I don't know if they still do it, but they have a conference for all of the senior civil servants and the head of the cabinet office will speak to you and you're allowed to give questions back to put you into groups I wanted my group to ask a question about social mobility in the senior level of the civil serervice people from the regions because I just didn't come across people like me. and I felt it was really important in terms of you need a mix of people generating policy moving forward who understand what it's like to have be from a poor background. And they wouldn't let me put that question forward. They dismissed it and said it's not important. And it's not important to you because You see yourself reflected all around this room. Well, it's the same reason why your boss couldn't think of any good leaders in the normth. You don't know that it's important. You don't know any good leaders because you haven't bloody looked Yeah. On the flip side Be my job was local government efficiency policy. And it really required building good relationships with people out in those regions, with senior leaders in local governments and other government departments And that's where my accent actually was a positive because when I went up to do yeah, but when I went up to do conferences in Newcastle or Manchester or Liverpool, I sounded like them And I think that matters. I really do. and I'm more convinced of it now than I was at eleven o'clock this morning, thanks to people like you. because of course it matters. It's mad to think that it doesn't. Of course, the people who want to pretend that it doesn't matter are the people who pretend that they live in a meritocracy because they're at the top of it And they got there because of blumming hard work and natural talent. They didn't get there because of class or privilege or unfair advantage or unarmed advantage or bought advantage. The people who were born, one, two, three nill up and think they scored a fratric They're the ones who don't think of course it matters. You can't be what you can't see. So. I just wanted to squeeze in one more because Um it's it's the last The last blast really from the center of the political universe last week And in Ashton in Makerfield. And what would you like to say Hi James. vote the other week. I remember it was a highlight of all that coverage. Thank. Just to say all of this about Andy and in wanting government in the North. Yes, none of that is new As you know Ive told you before I've spok to him on and off over the last ten years. Yes I remember. This has been a big hobbyhart of his that he wants some government in the North. He wants us to count. I think it's a lot of the reason why he got the number of votes that he got in our area because that's what people who I know people who were going to vote reform and then spoke, listened to him and said Well, there's one thing about it. We'll have a prime minister who cares about the North. And that's actually perfect distillation of what I've been groping towards all this hour, isn't it? is that because he sounds like he's from the North, people will believe that he cares about the North. And it might not be fair. You might be able to sound like Jacob Bryce Moggan care passionately about the North. I've not met anyone in that category. Michael Hesseltein cared passionately about the North, Liverpool in particular, but didn didn didn't sound like a scouter by any stretch of the imagination, but it's shorthand for caring It it is sure and for knowing and for understanding And if you know and understand something, then the chances are you are more likely to care about it. And I warned you I was short of time and I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to get your voice on the radio during this discussion and we did. But Time waits for no man or woman. It is Thursday, it is just gone twelve noon actually, a little late for the news. which means it's time for Mr. Jo, although I do I've got one little note to myself of things that I wanted to talk to you about today that were not actually part of the General News agenda U And the two words written down on the screen in front of me where we put the notes, little aid memoirs are Cobbbler's Creeen It's not a race horse. sounds like raceorse, doesn't it? Find out more after this This is LBC Fr Global, leading Britain's Cversation Mystery Hour with James O'Brien. I've got some breaking news for me. I've just cancellled my tennis match. I was set set to play tennis five o'clock today. On reflection, I think someone even even an elite athlete in peak physical condition such as myself would probably be pushing it going out onto the court in this heat. At least I'm presuming it's still hot. I'm in a hermetically sealed room with no windows. I'm presuming it hasn't suddenly started raining or snowing outside. It's still hot, is it out there? S should we do the phone in on that? Is it still hot? No, don't step away from the phone. I need it, all right Because it's Mistter Hour, which is historically often but not always the busiest part of the week. It is your opportunity to achieve the sort of satisfaction not ordinarily available anywhere else on your radio and indeed to get answers to the questions that have been bugging, puzzling, plaguing you for the longest time, The who's, the why', the what, the wherefores, even the occasional Wither That's how it works. Sone rings in with a question, someone else rings in with an answer. but somehow Was it last week things went bong? Last week was vintage? was it? I mean, most weeks are vintage, if we're honest. We're doing it so long now. We seem to have found our rhythms together, don't we? Was it last week or the week before that was just hysterically funny Nothing to do with me. It wasas the mouse last week that I watched that clip, but you know I never watch my own clips Even I'm not that egotistical But that that is up there for me at the moment. Be in I am laughing so much in this You know when something just gets you I always used to site And this is quite niche because you didn't go to a school like mine Um Breaking wind in Chapel So if you're in church, so chapel is small, right? So your housemaster is a monk And he is serving mass. and the only people in the room, which is smaller than this studio, are your closest mates, the twelve or thirteen people who you have literally lived with since the age of thirteen, you've slept in the same room. you've played in the same rugby team. You've gone to the same cl, you sat in the same classrooms. You are you couldn't be tighter as a group of people And you're in this room with a man you don't like very much. You are as thick as thieves. And you're in a tiny room with the priest who's also your housemaster and a hate figure and one of you let's rip the most extraordinary gof. And that laughter there I used to think was unique and because you're trying to hold it in. You have to try and you can't meet anyone's eye and everyone is sort of g and that noise and he knows what's going on, but he's a priest in the middle of mass so he can't break off to tell us off put down the chalice and give one of us a slap or anything like that I would be frowned upon At least it was by that time in history a few years before. it probably would have been to Rigur. and that that s So something about infectious laughter Blokke rang in last week to ask about the mouse that kept coming back to his house. It inevitably turned out to actually be right and I was wrong to mock him, but something happened in the course of that conversation Just set meal And I watched it back. I don't even know if we clipped it up, did we? I don't think LBC even clipped it up. Someone else clipped it up from the YouTube thing that you can usually enjoy shortly after we come off outir. And I watched it back. One of my kids brought it to me to show me just I just laughed andgh and it works. It works like that guy Goma clip. is it actually sets you off again and it makes you feel better than you did before you watched it. It was extraordinary and I didn't even send him the game I can't even remember why U Anyway, none of that's got anything to do with what happens next. It's eight minutes after twelve and Mystery hour is upon us U Matt's in Manchester. Matt, question or answer Hey up, James. it's still pretty sunny up here. Hey up, Matt. That's the last hour. That was the last h Sorry, sorry. I have a question. Carry on. I wouldd like to know how the ice cream man or the ice cream seller in a van, how they decide what their rout's going to be because you only see one ice cream van around each sort of neighborhood, but Like do they sort of go onto each other's patch or like historically tasty. It was quite, I mean, there were, I think, ice cream walls. It would it would you would protect your patch quiet. Bustly, I think historically, I can't have imagined this, can I? Right. Exactly. So I'm thinking that There has to be some kind of organization between them all or ice cream van guild or something that you know sets out who goes where to avoid. So you don't mean a pitch, you mean a patch because a pitch will involve probably paying or my friend Enzo has a pitch in the car park at the Hilliass Garden Center in Isleworth and you know no one else can just come and park next to him and start knocking out strawberry movies. It's obviously an established business arrangement, but a patch when you drive around, stick green sleeves on, park up on one road, flog a few lollies and then then you know move on, shut up and move on to another to another rider. Yeah, I like that. Do they still I mean this is going to make me sound very London centric. they still a thing I have Zach Zach goes around my By street He does, and you listen, you hear the music andad and your dad says, Ohh, he only plays the music when he's sold out, son. Yeah, no, I can hear him and I kind of know how close he is. He kind of circles around. You can hear it getting louder and louder and louder then I hear it come down my street and get a little bit of excitement when he's there, but Yeah, we had it in Kiddy when I was growing up and for some reason I always remember my gomother's in Stockport in Badbury Green, ice cream vand there. So yeah, and there must be loads of patches that aren't. Exploited. So how do they decide? How does an ice cream man decide A, what patch he wants, what his patch is going to be B, how can he be confident that he's not going to be turning up ten minutes after someone else has just done a load of ice creams? I like that question. Oho three four five six zero six zero nine seven three. We stayed in the North as well, although I don't think this is true from Helen who texted me to say, I go on holiday to Barnley James Really, Helen? I think you might be yanking my chain Nigel is in Box Hill Nigel, question or answer It's a question, James. Good morning. Good morning. Yes. Sorry about your tennis, by the way. They are sorry. They'll be breathing a sigh of relief, my opponent You might have to go to the pub instead. There's always an option My question is, James, how is it that dogs are able to run through a wooded area like light Yeah and av wayid that all the trees and the stumps and all of it. I was out walking the dogs early with my daughter this morning up at Bobx Hill. Wealled two of them and they came literally like lightning through every. It T two days running, I've had to correct someone for using the word literally. It was not literally like lightning. It was literally like lightning. It was not literally like lightning. It wasn't an electrical charge in the sky Okay, I had to take draw a breath because I thought they were going to hit something. miraculously, they never seem kid it. and I think that some dogs do My dog would how they do it. My dog would. My dog would run headfirst into a tree. My dog once jumped into the canal because it was covered in green Alg and and she thought it was ground. so she just jumped on it and we got to fish her out. bless her. She's not been near water since so I think she was traumatized by the whole experience. But that's not what you're asking about. So So they have got an almost sort of like those like the fighters in Star Wars. Do you remember the scene in Star Wars where theyre going Jed Yeah the Jedi' go side exactly that exxactly that 'recisely what I was thinking of as you describe your lightning like dogs What breed are they Cock poos. Are they?. So it's the poodle in them, the hunting dog in them Maybe the Spaniel hunting side, yeah, for sure. But the poodle was a hunting dog originally as well So mine's half poodle as well. M mine's half poodle, but she's not built for she started getting warted. Did you know that Poodles get wed at a certain age No Well that you've got that to look forward. You've got that to come. How about you're glad you rang in today. And I haven't even started talking about Cobbler's cream yet. That's coming up next. Nigel, you're on. How can dogs navigate their way through wooded areas so expertly and so quickly in a way that humans can't Oh three four five, six it must be something to do with their eyesight I'm not expecting any prizes for that observation, by the way. It's not likely to be radar, is it? or sonar. Ice crereams and dogs. What else are we going to get on the board today Luke's in Bromley. Luke, question or answ James is the question scientifically, why do we lovegh Makeakes us laugh As in as in the chemical reaction as it were Oh yes. I mean You know, and it can be a picture, it can be a smurf, it can be somethingitt down. it can be someone telling a joke You know, number of thing Megasluff. What is I don't think we know. I don't think we know S l. yeah, I mean, it's on the board. but do you know by coincidence, I saw a post on Blue sky this morning from a guy who is a very successful writer, a comedy writer And he was talking about how they got called into an advertising agency in the nineties because the The guys in the advertising agencies thought they'd actually come up with a formula for comedy with an equation that would deliver comedy and they were deploying it in some of the adverts that they made And obviously all the comedians that they brought in to regale with this discovery thought it was the stupidest thing they'd ever heard. because it's more like alchemy than chemistry. So we may not know if we knew thenen we'd be able to sort of trigger it, wouldn't we Yeah, And obviously you can suppress it because some people are just mageable and they don't laugh much at all. So That's more down to the charac and personality, but you we have the ability to laugher and look at little babies and they laugh. They do laugh. So what exactly what is going on actually Scientifically when we laugh. I like that question. Oh three, four five, six zero six zero nine seven three I We haven't done the terms and coitions for we haven't done the board game. O job, Keith Oonjo My favourite contribution of the week will win a board game or indeed in a tin. Last week's winner put a picture of himself on social media with the game in a tin The full terms and conditions for this competition are lbc. co. u and you can find out more about the ball game at mysterour. co. uk. Questions on the board at the moment involve the science of laughter Stogs running and ice cream van patches When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done Allall one eight hundred Ganger, click ranger. com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done. It's twelve seventeenh, Mr. Ar is apause. I've got two phone well at least one phone line free.zer three four five six zero six zero nine seven three. And now for fans of alliteration, Brenda is in Bigleswade in Bedfordshire. That is Bigleswade, Bedfordsire, Brenda. Brenda, question or answer questions. Cry on, Brenda. In Bigles Wade in Bedfordshire. Your fingernails and your toenails? Yes. Do they do they breathe? G Well, sometimes if I put varnish on, ye You put noail varnish on. Sometimes they feel claggy as so they're They can't breathe. But whereere are you getting that sensation in your fingers? nails. Yeah, that's what I mean. they feel what, like muffled or something Yeah. So you think so you think normally there would be some sort of passage of air through them. And when you put the varnish on, there isn't. Yes Oh, you know, I quite like that question I quite like that question. I mean, because I don't know, is it dead material? It's Keratin, isn't it? your fingernails, I think I'm not sure. But I know sometimes if especially in this heat, sometimes I'll take varnish off my toes and then take Oh that's nice. Do you? Oh that's looking that Oh that's nice getting a bit more circulation around my toes. Yeah which you want in this weather. I u Don't tell anyone, Brenda, I'mar sandals. I'm wearing sandals in the studio today for the very first time. And between you and me it was a mistake Wh? They' freezing. My feet are absolutely freezing what you could do? I asked Keith if I could borrow his socks, but he looked at me in a very disapproving fashion And there were socks and sandals but in the studio. No one's going to see, Oh they. No, but you could get what my husband's got. What's that that? drives my two daughters aroundound the twist and he's got sock toosing. Why becausecause he said they're comfortable. He's also got sandals that have got like toe posts in that he can wear with his socks with toes in. Good lord, there's a man who's prepared That's a man. As you got like five hundred liters of water in the cellar as well, just in case? Yeah Pably fifty pot noodles. dont I just wish I'd put socks on or brought some socks to wear in the studio. I won't be doing this again. Anyway, Brenda. P some nail varnish on on it. I was just thinking if I did put some nail varnish on, maybe it' warm them up a little bit. So did nails breathe? Oh That's a lovely question.zer three four five six zero sixzo nine seven three. I had a little thought, Thankk you, Brenda So I came to work today in sandals and shorts I don't think I've done that before. I may have done short. so I don't think I've done sandals before. And it set me thinking about my late father, which obviously I think about him a lot But I don't think I ever saw my dad in shorts. Does I mean that swimm or something like that he'd be in trunks, but he was of that generation. I hardly ever saw him not wearing a tie. Never under a pair of jeans If I mean, the idea of coming to work in shorts and sandals. To a man of my father's generation and sensibilities would have been like turning up dressed as Ronald McDonald or naked. or something Just a little thought I had when I got in this morning a sort of colleague and they commented on my Very relaxed wardrobe today and I just look hard dad Dad would not really have appreciated this particular sutorial departure Claire's in rugby, Claire, question or answer Oh a question, please. Carry on Caire. U Oh dear. takeake your time, no rush. It occurred to me because I was it came on my feed with looking at YouTube. Oh yes. And there were different marches of military people. You've been looking up soldiers a lot on YouTube? No. Well you obviously have, madam. You obviously have. Gome on. Well, whatever. Anyway It came up and there's a competition wouldate have. But so, why and when did exaggerated marching like goose stepping. happen? And why? I mean, you're only allowed one question. Oh, I know. it's sort of when and why isn't it so Yeah, So which which one is it going to be? Because I think I know one of them Oh, well, you say you choose then. I think I know why It looks so comical It does look comical, but I think it involves a sort of form of self hypnosis Do that noise again? Did you snort then or me? Oh than goodness for that. I think it involves a form of self hypnosis. I think that they goose step and it sort of puts them in a A sort of semiance like state where they won't challenge your question any orders. That doesn't sound right now I've said it out loud, does it? I mean, it obviously became fashionable at some point. I don't know if fashionable is the word I'd go with, but commonplace I don't know if it was a fashionable thing to goost up. I think it was I don't think it was optional. All right, you're on. So I'll let you have the win of it as well because I've had a half try at the why. So when and why did soldiers start? And it's not just the Nazis. There are other troops that I think have got a really exaggerated way of I think I've got an idea that there's Russian troops who were doing it long before the twentieth century. Cossacks. I could be wrong. anyyway. So what's it all about? Ohero three, four, five sixzo sixzero nine seven three I like that question. Dan is in Bristol. Dan, question or answer There's a question, please, James. Carry on, Dan. Nice to speak to you again. Likewise My last question to you was a compactionarybed question. I've got another one. Oh good. It was a sol of v a crisp and the green blue packaging question. before. Yes Did we get answer from someone whose dad worked for Walkers Crisps? You did. It was quite fantastic. It was fantastic, but I saw Gary that night, would you believe I know, I remember you saying this. It's quite amazing. And he didn't he didn't remember at all. So otherwise I'd have come back on air and shared it as a wonderful little post script magical to a magical mystery hour moment. But Gary in fact, he looked at me in a slightly pityingly way that you sometimes see him deploying in the television studio. When he tal get to Mika Richards And he said, I did meet quite a lot of people when I was working with Walkers' Crisps James and And I went, Yeahah, all right, mate. I was only asking And I can say that now because he won't be listening He's in New York Anyway, whereere were we? What's today's question M Maybe he's listen to this one. Yeah, so I'm Celiac. obviously difficult live with.es. glluten. ye. So one thing which just absolutely gets on my nerves every time I go buy a gluten free product is everything is so absolutely tiny and especially the bread So I need to know why And I know yes, I need to know why. I need to know why Greek soldiers The Greek soldiers do the funny marching as well. They still do it now in front of the parliament building in Ethens. So you mean like a loaf of bread will have fewer slices in it than Well the amount of slices physical It's a physical size. I've actually sent you a picture If you want to check out my slice of glume free bread, You'll feel very, very sorry for me and my very large and ever increasingly growing in size community of SLac So you get sent where did you send it to I send it to your WhatsApp Oh, you mean in the studio. We'll try and dig that out I mean, is it not obvious Well, I obviously understand the gluten has an element of fulfilling God it's ty mate. It's about the size it's hf the size of your hand. Yeah, Keith just pointed out you might have enormous hands. How big Do you have an average size? I just thinking of the person who's just tuned in It's a large dish. Can we Can we get something for scale? Can you put it what have you got in front of you at the moment? The hum is the scale, but it's not is it because you might have an enormous hand In which case the bread is not noticeably small, is it? So what have you got nearby? It's a an old picture. I don't know what I can send you But what I don't need a picture. I just I take it on trust. Where are you now? I'm s in my air conditioned car in my very, very hot workshop. Okay. have you got and you've got your iPhone with you? Are you on an iPhone I am, I am. All right, so just put the bottom of the ipher. Br what series is it Is it a big one? or is it a little one? It's a big one.. Put the bottom of your iPhone, just at the bottom of your palm. Yeah. And tell me how much knuckled is left poking out the top We've got about ten millers side Now the top O side. No okay, yeah. so that's that's ye Yeahah, it's about the same as mine maybe slightly bigger And what about the top? Is there any fingers poking out the top I don't I don' we've got about a centimet and a half of a finger at the top. So just that top knuckle on the middle finger really, the swearing finger yeah and then that one now because I'm a woodworker. No fair enough. o, so you've not got a particularly freakish hand. have you? Well medium. Yeah but maybe slightly above average, but not freakish is what we needed to establish Which means that that slice of toast that you took a picture of for me in your hand is tiny. It looks like Melbour toast. It's absolutely incredibly small. ye. And that's always the way with the gluten free stuff. Al the way. Always the way I mean, it's three times the price as well. Well, that's the thing though, isn't it? Because if it was the size of the normal bread, it would be six or seven times the price. Exactly. So that's the answer. Why is it always so small? No can't that can't be why. Can I put that picture on my blue sky, the picture of your hand with the toaster, just so that people at home can see Absolutely pleased do it. All right, you're on I don't know we're going to do that, Ednal, but I've asked him now. we're working out. All right, whyy is gluten free stuff so small zero three four five six zero six zero nine seven three. Thank you, Dan. I'm hungry now. Sophie's in Heins Park and I tell you what that toast wouldn't fill me up. Sophie question our answer Hello, it's a question, please. Oh yes I was wondering every morning I wake up, I check my smart watchatch to see how I sleep during the night.. And it tells me how long I slept for, how long I was awake for, my REM sleep, my core sleep, and my what's the other one? My deep sleep. I was wondering, how does it know I mean, Yeah, I don't know why I was preparing to try to answer that question. I haven't got a clue, but I mean ifase try. Yeah, I do always. I'm getting better actually. I used to be unbearable, but it is yeah, I mean it's going to be right you're on. How does your watch know so much about your sleep couldould just be making it up. We've all fallen for it C I do know when I wake up I've had a good sleep one night and I check my watch and its always kind of sounds about right go magic? I could Google it, but I thought I'd call you. No, you're on. I like that. Thank you. We'll find out for you. how does Sophie's watch or indeed all smart watches know so much about your sleep. What is it doing? I mean it's going to be looking at pulse Maybe movement, restlessness, all of those things, but it's on your wrist. So what if you You know, what if you handcuffed yourself to the bedstead Careful Keith. Well if you handcuffed yourself to the bedset and fell asleep, then what would happen? Because I'm just interested in the way that a watch on a wrist can establish so much about the entire sleep. process. I bought a new is anecdote for you I bought a new watch strap yesterday That's that's the anecote I bought it in Timpson's. a special shout out to the two. I've never met a bloke and it's usually blokes, not always. I've never met anyone working in Timpson's who isn't charming I know that they've got a a practice of hiring prisoners, but I don't think everyone that works in Timpsononss is a former prisoner. And that of course means that there's more likely to be an element of gratitude, perhaps atack. But Id love everyone who I've ever dealt with in a Timpsonss. And do you know that the most profitable Timpsons in the whole country is the one outside Sainsbury's in Kidermminster Mr. Timpson told me that himself. I've never I've always had a charming time with Timpson staff probably the most friendly staff in the country and I bought a watch strap off for a couple of them in Hoburn yesterday. and then because I've got my sandals on, as I mentioned earlier and I only wear them in the summer and I normally only wear them in Greece. So they got a bit crusty with the sea water. No, not my feet, like seawater crusty, not feet crusty. And there was this little pot in Timpson's called Cbbler's Cream. I've never seen it before and I bought some and you can resurrect sandals Coppless crepe And that is the end of my anecdote H's Amelia Cox with your headlines Granger knows, when you're a procurement manager for an office park, You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog, HV on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering, and twenty four seven support. Call one eight hundred Granger, click Granger dot com or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done Telve thirty three is the time tune in tomorrow for more tales of Cbbler's Cream. but for now we return to Mystery Hour. The questions still need answers, Ice cream ran patches, running dogs, not hitting trees, the science of laughter the porousness or breathability of finger and toenails, the strange marching of soldiers, the small size of Gluten free products, Is that all of it That's Oh, and and of course Sophie's smmart watchatch as well. How does a watch know so much about your sleep U Steve's in Hockley, Steve question or answer It's a question, please James. Canion Crete at the moment, my friend on h de. Calima. Kandy M, sir. Thankk you. Carry on Youre anry for that? What's the temperature in Crete? It's twenty nine at the moment and very dry dry heat. So it's a different he than what you've got. Different kind of heat. Its the humidity here that's the killer because I'm off yet next week and I've been comparing the temperatures. I'll be cooling down in Greece this year, which is a bit insane, isn't it Absolutely. If you've ever tried it, Late Cornos in Crek near Hana Mate, I would beenice' fabulous I've been Crete. I don't know if we went there. Anyway, where were we? question quest. So yeah, so this question isn't quite as intelligent as the ones you've asked before today, And I think you'll probably know the answer to this, but given the recent activity With Downing Street, you know, it's more of a sort of best selling short stay Airbnb or anything else. Yeah whoo decided or how it was decided that ten Downing Street was going to be the residence for our PM's? Is there any PMs that have previously lived outse? Where did they come to be? Oh I like that. I don't actually know. I think I might have known once, so your faith in me was not entirely misplaced and I know He was a bit of a wrongen George Downing. He was sort of knocking about Charles I kind of era. He was an American bloke who sort of came over here and calleds mischief and made a ton of money, a property developer. That the street Yeah, yeah, it does, doesn't it? That's who the street was named after. but I can't I can't remember when it became residents of the Prime Minister so So you're on. Yeah. I like that. It's a good quest very much. It's a clever qu question. Why' you say it wasn't a very intelligent question? It's a really intelligent question. thank you. Well, I just thought it' have been a pretty standard one that's come up in the past. Am I have dum late, but you know where it is, I can't remember. I had for breakfast let alone. We're similar ages, James. you knowactly on as well, my friend. Have you ever come across cobbler's C cream No, I don't think Ill have yet. H you go. see, for men like us, it's a gosend. you can resurrect all your old shoes, you can make them all shiny and A moistick, that's not the right word to use, is it? You can make them all supple and shiny again. My sandals are like brand new. Thank you, Steve. I'll be wearing them in Greece next week. being well Kirin is in Dublin. Kirin question her answer Qion, James. Car on. So James the freshly squeezed orarnage used in the supermarket that has the excuse me the shelf life on it, the short shelf life we'd say four or five days. I've noticed regularly doesus the orrange juice that doesn't have the bits in it. has a longer shelf light on it than the juice that has the bits in it Is that that to the supermarket? orr is there something in the bits that makes the orange juice last not as long as the stuff that doesn't have it in it. I think they're yeah, I mean, the It's more likely to pair it, more likely to go off a bit with the flesh than with the juice Yes. is it the smooth orange juice has got the longer shelf life Yeah it's Ocham's Razor Kin, isn't it? I mean, it must be that the bits in it, the only difference between them is the bits. And that must explain the shelf life difference. has to be But it does explain it, but what I'm saying is that why is that? Yeah, you're turning into me now. You don't want the what of it, you want the why of it. No, I actually want to speak to someone James who actually knows what they're talking about. Well, you've phoneed the wrong show so do I mate. Good luck with that. Seriously. welcome to my world. You're on. Let's do it. I mean, it must be the bits, but why? Why do the bits make the shelf life shorter? You're on. Now you're on. stay care. Stay safe, it's top thirty seven. James is in Dundee. James, question or answer It's anser, James. Good afternon. Good afternoon to you. What have you got? Right. So I was on ice cream vandans from a young age of nine up until maybe my late twenties I had my own iceream vine as well, obviously not from the Jermain, but when I got older. Now you would get your license from the local authority I' not licensed They told you where you couldn't go. Now you couldn't go to places like the two football stadiums in Dundee. you couldn't go to Couldn't go to Bcky Ferry there's something that's been in the news lately. And the reason for that is because that's dundy by the seaside. That's got the beach in that and they don't want an influx of ice cream bandans going down there now There'd be pitches there'd be pitches there that they were specifically paid for. Yes pes Pites, not patches Yeah and that still goes on to this day. There is an ice cream var that sits on a particulous pitch all year. There it is, you see. That's that Ezo in the car park at the garden centre near me Correct, correct. Now as for the House of the States in Dundee, you just took it upon yourself. L the state next to where I used to work He didn't start toill like five o'clock in the afternoon. So what I would do is I would nip in there at three o'clock in the afternoon and do a little tidying up And then we were comeing in at five o'clock. So there was no animosity. I was sort of like yeah, that's George that does the estate next to me. and you would sometimes meet them in the cash and carry and that. and It was all jovial, but if you look on YouTube, there's plenty about Glasgow with the guns and the. Back in the day. Back in the day, the ice cream Wars Yeah, that didn't ever happen where I was. There's a film as well. isn't there with Bill Patterson in it, I think. There was a film made.ill Yeah, that's right Bill Patterson is in the movie about the Steamvans. so that's it. So there's not sort of that you don't get it on your license where you're allowed to go. You only get it on the license where you couldn't go you're not allowed to go st. Are Are you of Italian heritage No no a lot of the ice cream men are, particularly in Scotland. Yeah as strange as you should say that, yeah, because back in the day there was Cabrellis in Dundee. they hadard like sixty ice cream vandans in Dundee and then there was Freddy Ayonetta, I believe they had thirty two ice cream vans back in the day. Nowadays there' not you don't see really ice cream vanans though, but I'm going to tell you about the difference between the ice cream van in Scotland and in England because in England they're called softy vand a window they've got a window on either side and they only sell ice cream and they only sell ice lollies. Now an ice cream van in Scotland is called a Harvey van, that's only got a window on the passenger side for ping up against a curb. And on the driver's side behind you're going to have chocolate bars, you're going to have all sorts. You're going to have your carmax back in the day. That would have been there as well. Oh I didn't know that. I didn't I mean think I don't think it's like binary. I've seen some ice cream vans in England that have got a bit of confectionery for sale All right, that's it I tried to get you, Caramac probably about two years ago. Sor Staint Mark's in S. Andrews, you remember. I do. I do. Are you're a gentleman? You're a gentleman. uppstairs I sat upstairs that night with you're your two daughters there as well. Oh Fantastic. I did. That was a happppy days. We've had some wonderfuls I apparently was What was I going to say that? When I so North Berwick is where we used to holiday when we were going to Scotland a bit when they were younger. And there were two there. on the seafont in North Berwick, you had like a traditional ice creream van, which would be selling like all the lollies and stuff. But then you had the S Luca, it was called, Luca LUCA, which was like like a slightly M well I don't know if you'd say artisan but like not generic, notot the kind of stuff you'd buy in the cash and carry. It was like they made it themselves. And so they obviously managed to two different pictchures on the same little small patch of car park in North B. I don't know why I love ice cream bands so much. They've got such I guess it's just joy, isn't it? You hear the music starting when you're a kid and it's It's just joyful. Why did you knock it on the head? I gotght myself off to college and just learned something else I can imagine. I can imagine. Yeah You didn't knock out single cigarettes for twenty five pence a pop, did you Well, well I didn't, but that was a thing. That was a thing. Another thing we used to do is well you were able to go to a stream van with milk tokens back in the day. get a lolly with a milk token anyway You'vet this Yep, Periously done, Jones. God bless you, thank you At twelve forty two is the time, Paul's in Swansea Paul question or answ Answer. carry on But that guy just took the wind out my cells. Oh Well, never mind, I've got room for more. It's not a steward's inquiry, but you can add to his answer My aunt had an ice cream van. Oh yeah and back in the eighties and it was in Mr. Whippy And she was she encroached in somebody else's patch And the other guy turned up in his van and he was furious. Really? He chased her for about a mile. What van vanasing van Yeah. What was he going to do if he caught her Well, she drove into her husband's tire changing garage. very wise. And he came out. he's six foot six with a crowbar. So the guy jumped back in his van and reversed and he said, Tell her to stay off my patch. Yes. And did she She did yes. mean it's a livelihood, isn't it? It's nice to hear the previous caller sharing stories of harmony and peace. but generally speaking, if you're parking up particularly for a prolonged period of time, it's a bit like opening a shop next door to someone who's already selling the same stuff You didn't fancy following her into the ice cream business, Paul? No, no it was too dodgy, too dodgy. I love it. You get a round of applause though, so you know. twelve forty threeers a time. And Marion's in H wicker Marian, question our answer Carryo Mar Many years ago, I had a little growth on my nose, which required a few sessions of cryosurgery. Right And when it heals One half of the tip of my node was kind of sheared off It was very noticeable that my nose was asymmetric. When I went for a checku and I said to the nurse that I didn't realize this was going to happen because it's really noticeable. And she said, Well, don't worry about it, it willll grow back It knows Yeah, well, just it was a very sort of like a very small shaving off it, but it was very fat and very noticeable that happened Yeah. And mean she said, don'try, or'll go back overver a period of months, suddenly you' kind of looking at and say, Oh, what, no my nose is fine. But my question is No that it grew bad. How does your body know when to stop growing When it thinks, yees, that looks about right, n is normal again will stop growing because that's what it did Who knows? Yeah,. I think to paraphrase Kemmy Bohinner, I reject the parameters of your question Be well how does it know to stop The first time round Why doesn't Why don't our noses just keep growing anyway like Pinocchio? forever? Well indeed, ye, that is for sure. So there must be it's just like a genetic code, isn't it? yourour nose stops growing. Yes. So it must just be the same reason why your feet stop growing, the same reason why everything stops growing. But yeah, it's more interesting when a bit's being shaved off and it grows back, isn't it? Yeah because I was really worried because it was so noticeable that it was just like this like a sword had just kind of taken the very edge of this it was so flat and so noticeable And then it did grow back back to exactly like it was before. I mean, because also how much grows back? Because if you'd lost your whole nose, I don't think it would have grown back. I don't think it will. because it was just skin. It wasn't cilage or anything because I don't think that would. but it's just how does it know when it kind of goes right or the back Itight we'll stop there I like that question and for people who listened to this pogo a little bit more than is necessarily healthy. Id just quote Isaac who's been in touch to say donon't knows Nobody knows, don't need to know. I this is my second question on your program as well. Congratulations. Let's try and get you an answer. How I mean, how does your nose know to stop growing when it's growing back after being chopped off or sliced off Ooh like twelve forty six is the time When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant You keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns With Granger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts, and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call one eight hundred ranger, click ranger. com or just stop by Ranger for the ones who get it done. Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park You're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners Light's about to fail, filters ready to clog, HBack on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering and twenty four seven support Call one eight hundred Ganger, clickranger. com or just stop by. Granger. For the ones who get it done Sove forty nine is the time. still got loads of questions that need answers. We've done the ice creams. The dogs running, how do they avoid things when they're moving so fast? The science of laughter, what's going on when we laugh? Do our fingernails and toenails breathe? Why do soldiers march in such exaggerated fashions Why is gluten free stuff so small? How do smartphones know? We're never going to get close to doing all of these? When did the Prime Minister move into Downing Street? like originally Um, and why does orrange juice with bits in it have a much shorterf or a measurably shorter shelf life than orange juice without bits in it. And how does your nose? If your bit of your nose gets chopped off and it grows back, how does it nose? It's not osmosis, is it Thank you for that. I stole that from my own inbox, but it was unsigned, so I probably didn't even need to admit that. that's how I work, I'm just too honest for my own good. How does it knows when to stop goes? How does the nose knowose? When to stop it grows, grows Uh Abbey's in Brxton, Abby question or answ It's a question, Dame. You'll be lucky. G on I know, I know, honestly, I've got no hope for it. That's the spirit. cararry on. You see washing machines, right? Yeah. Every washing machine that I've ever had an interaction with When it gets to the last minute, always never a minute. And I don't understand why the manufacturers make it like that. Like surely by now, they know how long a cycle is supposed to be. whyy are they lying I don't know if they're lying as such Is that I mean so what you mean? it says one minute left and it always takes longer than a minute. Yeah, well, have you not experienced that? Yeah, I'm always doing the washing me. I just checking with you that it says one minute left and it's probably got something to do with the hardness or the softness of your water Right, but like why is it all washing machines that I've ever how many washing machines have you had an interaction with? So now you're asking, I don't know. maybe around ten. Yeah. And were they all in South London No, they weren't actually. They were all over the world, James. Really, whereere else? Wheres the most exotic washing machine you've ever had a relationship with? I've had one in Morocco Wha! Wh. Wow. And well traveveled me. You are. You're an international washing machine exper and all of them suffer from this condition. Yeah, they always get to that last minute and it's never a minute. Yeah like I don't know why. whyy do they do that? Yeah, donon't they know by now how long a cycle should be and it's not like it' minute and then it's two minutes. It's like one minute and then it's five minutes. Yeah, I do. I know. I mean, I recognize what you describe. I just always presumed it was sort specific to the location you were in and it would have something to do with hard water or so. it's not like they're seing you advertising in the meantime. or It's not like an algorithm where they need to keep you scrolling for longer because they make more money or you're just standing staring at your bloody plumbing washing machine All right, you're on. Why is that? That's a great question. It's a classic. that will have touched a lot of people back. There'll be people up and well, as we've established all over the world, Abby, there'll be people going Yes She's right. Why? In fact, I'm not even joking. Let me read you some messages that have come in since you spoke She's telling you the truth, James, we want the truth. You can't handle the truth. This woman is so right. I've never had a washing machine that tells you how long a cycle actually lasts. I'm in Spain. I can confirm that she's right. I regularly accuse my washing machine of lying. Of course it's and that's the gluten one. That's not about you. Oh my God, this lady is so right. It always fibbs. James asks Kevin, have you ever used a washing machine? Jamie says she's spot on. We had six minutes left on once and it took more than twenty, says I. I mean, it goes on and on and on and on. You win the prize for touching the most nerves today, Abby And you may well win a board game yet. It's twelve fifty two Rob's in Maidsten, Rob, question or answ Hi, James. So's an answer? Carry on. We're only going to get through about three this week. We've done it all wrong, Rob, but I'll shut up and let you speak. It'll be quick. I' be quick then. So in seventeen thirty two. George II offered the House to his principal minister Robert Walpole. He declined it as a personal guift, but he accepted it for the government but on the condition that it was attached to the office of the first Lord of the Treasury And it's remained that way. So it's actually they reside there as first Lord of the treasury rather than as the prrime mininister. And I think Wpool moved in in seventeen thirty five. There you go. beautifully done qualifications I used to be a duty clerk at number ten many, many moons ago. Did you really I was Gosh. and I mean there's a little bit of history, what? is it up on the wall inside or you just swat it up on it or you go on a course? I no causes. G heavens, no, not in youngmen. No. I retained a little book and some keepsakes from my time at Downy Street.iffing that's great. I mean, it's not quite I think to get a rayota, you'd have to be a prime mininister. Is that fair Yes, I think But you get a round of applause. And there's plenty of Prime mininisters knocking about these days. it's not like twenty years ago where they were ten a penny when they were as rare as Hen's teeth, they're ten a penny now. Mike's in Beverly, Mike question or answer Answ James. Make it snappy, Mike. we're short of time It's an answer to the dog's question. Oh yes And there are many reasons, but one of the main ones is that dogs process vision a lot quicker than we do. That's it. That's what we want. How much quicker Well, if we process out sixteen frames a second think back to cinema. dogs process at fifty frames a second. Really So they get information quicker than humans do. So they're in a sort of slow motion, then. Yes. as they're going through the trees, they've got a lot more time So Navigate because they're seeing everything three times quicker. Yes, basically. And one of the big reasons is that they've got four legs, so they have more opportunities to deviate than a human the. they've got more pivot? of course, they have. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Well, that's a brilliant answer. quQalifications