Vlad the Impaler and Conclusion

someome unbelievable facts incoming If you haven't already watched Joe and James Fack up. Head over to YouTube after this and catch up. The posters have had a bit of a shuffle to make room for the new wall chart for the World Up twenty twenty six easily the most exciting tournament this summer Just search for Joan James backacked up on YouTube and hit subscribe so you don't miss the next episode Theodcast powers the world's best podcasts Here's a show that we recommend I'm Monica Reingel, nutritionist, author, and host of the Nutrition Diva podcast We dig into the questions that you are actually asking if it's okay to drink coffee on an empty stomach whether it's possible to retrain your sweet tooth, which ultra processed foods you might actually want to include in your diet? we take a closer look at diet trends. sketchy claims and track down the science so that you can feel more confident about what's on your plate New episodes are released every Wednesday. Find Nutrition diva on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening, and be sure to follow or subscribe so you don't miss a single episode A cast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere Akas d. com we talk about Your hair, James Oh yeah, my hand M had a little hair cut there Im bad it will cut off Scon on the head I've got like a sort of weird mullet thing Yes,s just for work wasn't my choice Thanks I was was I'm not happy about it I'll be. So what are you fil? can you talk about it? Th for Netflix Michelle Kegan. Okay, Kegstter Kevin Kagan I don't think there's a relations. No She's well alright, though. Yeah. O Kegan. That's good. Never met her before. Yeah. And obviously it's a big star and she's big British. doesn't really get much better bigger in Britain. especially than the show Kan And I was thinking It I was like all my scenes are basic with her as well. And I was like, o It will le go one or two ways either should be well or rightri Or should be a fucking lunatic? Why So turns out she's great. Yeah, fucking Cary' muck One of us. As well Yeah. Yeah, good go. No, she's brilliant Really nice Um But yeah, doing a drama Everything I do is just quite funny and it Yeah I think that's great. I think It's about like a murder mystery instead and police and detectives and somethingomething that went on In the nine seasons, uh, now the Well, they called it the They're coming home to roost the chickens or whatever. All the chickens are coming here roost. Yeah. it's a bit and there's twists and Deceit and backstabbing And they meet. Um, So in my big face sin to a seed Um They feel like they're all dead And we' like, Well, don't worry about it. Come and te Oh that's honestly, that sounds really good. I love I mean, I love that genre. It's really cool. So it's like Yeah.'s based on a Haran Coben, look That's correct. Yeah. Yeah ye. Yeah, they've made a they set in the nineties or it's about stuff happened in the nineties, but somethinghing happened in the nineties and they were sort of unraveling present day. Okay. They did a Polish version on Netflix five years ago called The Woods. That's what this thing is called as well. Okay I started watching that It turns out it' just completely different to what What we are doing? Okay. you can adapt stuff, can't you to tw things and change things to a different audience? Yeah. But Really interesting Great people working on it Everyone's dead, alright, everyone's nice. Enjoy myself apart from the haircut Felt like I'd lost a bit of myself So what so with this haircut, what are they what are they saying I'm I um sort of a You know, weed smoking. Oh o teeachherers assistant at a university. Oh okay. And I'm a bit sort of like W,. I think you're a bit cool. Yeah, yeah, okay. okay. so they gave me a Cool guys hack. Yeah, okay. ye. is's very sort of u M at our mode Yeah, like exactly what I said Joe when they cut my hair. A this is quite Alame, isn't it? It Alamot Let's out of mode Um It's u it's good because I mean, I my hair is I just don't know what it is at the moment. you're quite lucky with your hair, Joe. G've gotot a good head of hair there. It falls nicely, even when you haven't had a cut for a little while. this I don't like all this these get a bit whispy And it all goes in the same like they don't they don't both go in towards my head or both go out. They like both go left Like a tree on the coast. H And I'm like, what is what is that Its I've always had messy hair Yeah. My daughter looks like like what I used to look like when I was a kid now. She emerged at the top of the stairs today. Th you know rough and ready, grrubby knees. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I think my mum's main priority when I was small was making me look Right. And that wasn't my. I think it's really funny what children want to wear versus what their parents want to put them in I think children have really like commercial tastes. Children just want like, whatever's got the most low. they've all the worst lessons basically, they want whatever every child, they're total sheep. They want to wear wh every other child is wearing Most logos, most like American style clothes just whereas parents are like, but this is lovely. This is made of wool and no other child will have it. Yeah And the child be like, that's why it's fucking shit. I don't want tonaar that because they'lly And I remember once on my mum putting me in a little outfit to go to a children's party and it had it was a little short suit Yeah. I remember there was this older girl who just really took to me. like not in a kind of fancy way, more in a kind of like she just thought I was, she couldn't get. she just wanted to like pick me up, and she was like, o And I couldn't bear it I was like to thanks you his momum I'm basically a Teddy bear now. I was about five Itm My parents' outfit choices for me in the early nineties were insane Absolutely insane. I remember I went to a wedding once in a lime green Button sureir Bright red bow tie That is It was maybe al right. Rainbow spec saavers glasses looked like fucking Elton John or something It was very Why had they chosen the bow tie? Oh man, Red, red and green L look like a Christmas tree. Red and Green is very Christmas. Yeah. Very home alone. Yeah All red and green, didn't they? Yeah to make it look like, what you think of Christmas? Yeah Yeah. Well you been up to? You've been up to anything? I just phoneed you? Well, I've been up to went to the zoo, obviously. Yeah, How's the zoo zoo Zoos all right? honestly, I was buying an ice cream and the person seent me the ice cream went You're a gold member, right? I was like, No,m. But then they decide to recognize me Whhert not we should be Next I'll be like They'll be getting me to muck out the You know, I ever something because I'd be like Well you work it, don't you Um might get you to help with the consonservation efforts Yeah I'm soinate. What's the big what's the What was the star attraction at London say? It was the big That's you at this point, isn't it? Yeah me. Yeah. times in between as is doing continuous PA there. Yeah. so U Well, my daughter thinks the star attractions at the zoo are gettinget your face painted, going to the playground, just a playground. fifty min to get in, just a playground. and ice cream. That's what So none of the animals. I'm now trying to basically bribe you if the zoo is full of parents trying to go to their child Can we just see one animal Yeah before we get the ice cream. Yeah And children why are find quite sweet? They've got gorillas Theyve got gorillas there They got gorillas lions I've got lions.' got lions and gorrias. got L lions, grias've got tigers pololar beeds. They haven't got polar bears. Apparently they used to have polar bears in London Zoo Uh And somebody told me that They once went to London Zoo and it was snowing And the polar bears were so confused, they went indoors. I I don't think they should have had polarars. probably Um Do you know not think it's weird if you live in London You are living in the same places lions. I know. Well there's a park next to the you can Yeah, it is yeah. I used to play a computer game called Caesar I three, which was the city of Romans it would go. And sometimes if the city was like attacked feel like the lions would get out of the Coliseseum and they will start And I also wonder if that happen in London amazing, wouldn't it? Iagine that Yeah. I imagine one of the gorriillas get out. Yeah. I mean the gorillas and they're all, I mean interestingly, I think the big animals are the things that the parents want to look at. I've was quite What's quite sweet my daughter is She really likes the things like the insects and like the snails and stuff. it's basically because they're much better for children because They're closer, they're at their level. they don't move very much. So it's like they're just there. And she's not scared of them at all. She was like all the praying mantises and stuff. sort of you know, have to say weird stuff. Yeah. And she's like, you know, very happy Yeah' snails or something. Gant African Giant Afran snails I also I took my daughter swimming as well and that was really nice. I'm so sort of Uh ' just It takes me ages to get going. So basically she was like, can we go swimming? Yeah I like looked up some swimm pools and I was like, there's one a we could go to, but like the family swimm isn't until Um like next Saturday because this was Sunday. and she was like, Why don't we go to another pool And I'm like, oh, you Yeah I know, but I can't be bothered. Yeah Bott line, I suppose I should and her Yeah. So I just looked one up And we went and it was really good And then, uh Basically, essentially she just plans the day now. I just get out from like,h What we doing today And it basically yeah, it was her day. We went're swimming, went to the park U it was a long old day I mean, by the end of we go to this park all the time and Yeah, it's I've put in some mous at that. Jall James, Fight up It occurred to me recently that in In eight years time I was fifty Right? That's so sad that I could tell even my mum was sad when I told her She looked heartbroken. Well, imagine how it feels. It made, obviously it made her feel old, I suppose, but also are you forty one? forty two. forortty two. Yeah, a disaster. you'reucking disaster. You l, O on paper ye you know Your and your fault is doesn't sound great, does it? No, Imagine Your child being forty two. I know. Well, that was what she was thinking. Yeah. But my Godd What must I be Yeah and she I couldn't even think Don't I mean last year. just yeah, but you know, you're in do I got to do something Yeah, we're both in her thiries. Yeah, well, I'm only just say you must be thirteen thirty. Well we're both in her thiries. But I suppose it's more that I don't want to think about Um you know, when I'm forty three even. I don't even want to think about that. don't don't make me put something in the diary where I'm thinking about being forty three I don't want to be a weeak holder. Yeah Don't make me think beyond today. This is great I look at you to me. look I'm doing all right. You look like you're doing about twelve still. Well, you're fine. Yeah U You got your floppy Boyish. I got my floppy Boyish hair Yeah up of them What's his name Oh floppy head, floppy head posh No Hugh Gant. Hugh Grant. Yeah. Hugant. huge grunt. I'd love to. You've got a bit of huge grunt about you. Love to have that. Handsomeort of boy love I'd love a bit of Hugh Grant, but I think I was watching Fs in funeral the other day Fucking how he's handsome Godsus Jesus Christ. N never seen for? Never seen it. No N so yeah, Is it good? Somebody who I think I do think I look at it a little bit like. I've never seen Full Ws a funeral. It's good No, yeah, it is. I've never seen Notting Hill It is good. I just think it's all a bunch of posos It is a bunch of posches, that's definitely true I remember I watched a Rridget Jones's diary once. Yeah. and it was like Oh, we're going to mummy and daddy's in like in the countryside I can't remember exactly what happened. But it was like she had some trendy flat in London and then she was going to mumommy and dadd's in the I was like, o I'm so I'm so far away from these people. I think though there was an era where it seemed as though Maybe everybody was going gonna to be middle. You know with that phrase like we're all middle class now. It felt like that was something that webe we'd all attain. We were all getting Aspirational Aspirational. it's not even a rich thing is it?'s nice supp mumy and daddy in the countryside. So it's sort of uer midle That sort of Like I've never come from a family whereere if someone dies, they leave you something. I've never there's just nothing there. there's nothing to be left Yeah No, that's that's There's no houses, there's no cottages anywhere. Yeah. no one's got anything in my family king useless. I've got nothing coming today me I mean, it's I think it's I think it's a fair point And I think they are it's a depiction of a life that presumably very few people actually enjoy I don't know. I think I kind of I think it justs America, doesn't it? That's how Americans would like would like. That's what Americans think that. I mean, in one hundred and onene Dalmatians, there's a guy who is a sort of jobbing computer game designer Right. He's basically like, he's sort of borderline out of work He's a kind of artist.ight. And he lives on like, and this is an American film. He lives on like Berkeley Square,? It' like it's ridiculous Yeah. His house kind of a buttss Green park or something. I think Pep show does a good realistic interpretation of sort of two middle class university educated guys living together because they're still in squalor. Ctely te They do have mummy and daddy and they do have sort of you know, their family and sisters or lawyers and things like that. But they're still sort of scrabbling around and trying I think that's yes, it's the bank of Mum and Dad But the Bank of Mumad Dad doesn't mean that you're living fabulously. like you're not going to starve. but you're still going to have a relatively crummy life for about thirty years. I always think that flat looks grim. It's grim There's a bit in one of the episodes where I like They're hoovering up 're just the proper end for the hoover. Jazz and he's just And the cameraas like long the hoover. They' they do that weird shot. and he's just hoovering up cigarette but hoovering up everythingver up everything. It's like crisps in a bowl.. They don'toover couldid still eat those. And he's just a hoover in the bowl It is it is a very good depiction of of a scholar, isn't it? I wonder if they'll do more Pep show feel like they should I don't know if what were they up to Well, well, I suppose Jesse Arstrong wrote succession. Yeah, but that's' saying in Jesse Armstrong. I've got that sketch show now, Mitch and Web Yeah hundred four, which is coming back. I've still not I've still not seen it An updated PPhare would be interesting because it would be interesting to see it in the era of I suppose like the economy as it is as it is now. like everywhere, AI, all that stuff. because I mean, it feels like a kind of late nineties, early nuies world, like it's kind of Yeah, the internet is still kind of on the book. order of their existence rather than just being Asolutely saturating everything. Yeah. It'd be challenging. I think it's really hard to write about the modern world because how do you Like what do you do about screens? J be trying trying to launch an app Yeah. I mean, there's so much podcasts and stuff. Jaz would have a podcast. He'd have a podcast. There's so much stuff going on in that media. Yeah I mean, I do forget how old Peephow is. I think Peephow had something like five series before the In betweenetweeners even came out. So four series or something D you forget how old the Pep show is and you watch it now Like Jeremy says things like which now isn't It's not even a funny joke because it's so gone the other way. He says a few times I think the internet is going to be really big Yeah And now we're so We've like, oh, we've done that joke as well. Yeah so far at the other end. Yeah. But Jerry like a few times like, yeah, see the I think the internet the internet is going to be really biger, I think. Yeah ye. You mean we're at the other end as is obvious now, which was funny at the time Be because I think the internet was already big at that point. Yes, of course.. So Jeremys saying the internet is really. Now it's redundant. Now it's completely redundant becausecause the internet it's not only really big, the internet is everything. It is everything. Yes. It's not Yeah. It's just a case of like what little islands have not yet been swallowed up Yeah by it I like jokes like that though. Yeah. I do like jokes. I said to I went see Paulwella once couple of years ago. And and I won't say goodbye to him. and I watched the show and he it was really good. It was really, really good. Sam was' like it was probably I've got to see him a few times And this particular one, everyone sounded so tight and so brilliant And u and I said I'm going I'm going to shoot off now It's nice see you again. to say you sound really great I was like, I think you should stick at this. I think you could really make a c. He just laughed me, Yeah,. He's got a really good sense of humity. Keep it going, Paul. Yeah. Keep going. I think I can really see a future in this for you man Yeah Good Um But yeah No. I mean, yeah. He so very u I mean a very bleak a very big show. I think of all the of all the sitcoms I think I feel like that would be the easiest to bring back And it would just hit the ground running And you would just pick up from where it left off sort of thing I think that would I think Should we do that? Should we start a movement? I'd love that? peep show It's a great show good se nine kind of, I feel like that was the last season they tipped over into the modern world. Like Mark was really into candy crush Oh yeah. come on So that last series kind of did a little bit of a transition. I always felt that I always felt that the Simpsons never really knew what to do about the internet. I think it had I think it was the great sitcom or I suppose it is sort of a sitcom of the television era. It really understood it was so interested in television and it really knew about television Yeah like and the opening credits are the Simpsons family coming home and sitting in front of the telephision. this was the This was the was it was a television show that was about television. Yeah Should we do it? S we do it? Yeah let's let's some sort of that's a that's a very Ver cold open. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joey James. Joey James, Fs up Welcome to Joan James Facts up Each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting, mine's tering But Oh more mine's quite good. Mine good. I bet what? I bet we've gone for the same thing. I h it's a second. I hope not. No, because I don't think I think mine's good So your What mean We doing drracula. Yeah., okay. okay. for us That doesn't count as us doing the same thing. I'm not yeah, nol'ess our pacties This week we're doing Dracula which we are, really? No what I mean is No, but what I mean if that's not that No, unless it doesn't matter. let's just o. You guys don't want to podcastters, yeah? Yeah,ah. Well listen, we'll let you guys know whether or not our fact is about Dracula later. Yeah. Our policy is that the more interesting the fact, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but don't want to research yourself in a segment that we call Fact cheheck So if you do wantan to send us your facts, email us. hello at Joeanjamespod. comot ourursApp number is zero seven eight two zero, three, four, three, three zero And you can follow us on socials. Jo and James Pod And you can also watch our episodes in full on YouTube, just search for Joan Jones Fs up Now, let let's get facked up So we had some suggestions for script up and one of the iconic scenes in film that I thought would be fun for us to do is Bane versus Batman in the Dark Knight Rises. Who would like to be Bane and who would like to be Batman? I feel like you should probably be Bane shouldn't you?'ll Bane. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be I'll be Batman. I'm gonna send I'll be Batman Grips What I will say is this is a bane heavy part of the script, but this is a fight scene, I don't know if you remember they're on sort of this catwalk sort of element I don't know whether I've actually seen Dr Nnight Rises so well it doesn't matter. doesn't doesn't matter. That's fine. Tom Hardy won't have seen it when he got the script, so also Yeah exactly. Also you don't need to do you could do your own ' been on it. Yeah. I'm going to put I'm going to put my own thing into Batman Yeah, and I' a bit of Joe Thomas into this. Joe T How it should have been done. Yeah. All right, here we go. Okay. All right, take And action. You've made a serious mistake Not as serious as yours on a fair Bine Let's not stand on ceremony here, mrter Wne less sure of what she's done Bama moves at Bane Strikes powerful blows Bane catches his fist This is gost you strength Victory has defeated you Spain smashes Batman back. B come back I back So Kicks just fun. I don't think that's anything thing to Batman back. Batman back. Kicks him off the catwalk Batman drops, uses his cape to land. There's always a catwalk, isn't there? Bane climbs down on a chain His men watched in disciplined silence Batman hells flashbangs at bain. Wh doesn't flinch Theatrology and deception are powerful agents. to the uninitiated Batman lashes out of bain B encounters. They separate We are initiated, h? Bruce The leving shadows And you betray us. us U excommunicated from a gang of psychopaths Now I am the League of shadows Here to fulfil Alv then, Raca Cool. Rusha Gou Destiny Destiny. Just for and hurs himself at Baine. throwing him into the waterfall, where he smashes his fists and gauntlets. Where is desert In B M Yeah, waterfall were waterfalls earlier and gauntlets into Baness masks again and again, water cascading over them Spain is not moving,' just taking the blows B Bane's arm shoot out. What shoots Batman? What shoots out? Bane's taking some blows, something shoots out. Yeah, Batman's getting smashing Batman. Smashing Batman aside, Bane rises You fight like a younger man Nothing held back No reserves Admirable, but mistaken The Batman hits a switch on his belt. Oh, youre hard. The lights go out. Bpanain turned, slowly addressing all the shadows at once P the darkness is your eye Th you really dooped the duck Again. But you mere adopted the duck. I was born in it Cmed by it In the shadows Batman Circles looking to strike. It'spanaine takaking a shit. She's takaking a really big turn. I didn't see the light until I was already a man Anden by then, it was nothing to me but blinding B Banain lunges backward into the darkness, Batman's throat in his grasp The shadows betray you because they belong to me Bane smashes him you haven't got any lines do all. Bane smashes him into the ground, pounding pounding. pounding. capitalised pounding but then just normal pounding. pounding the hard cow with his bare fist until it cracks. Bane rises from Batman. gestures to the ceiling of the chamber. Explosive charges have been jed into holes I will show you where I've made my home While preparing to bring justice Then I w' break to. That was I've got jingles. I honestly, I thought you were gonna read the stage trg. I I feel like I should have done. I have done becauseuse you would have had something to do. Yeah. but No, that was well, I think glorious. The reason I read the Stace directions is because like When you are in a characterain Bane wouldn't share the directionsight So like it was quite difficult to not actually physically attack. I feel like if Bane was reading the script, he would read the directions. Yeah. He'd read Batman as well, but like I had that's, you know, difficult. Even that I consider a compromise that pain're very painful you? This's my fighter bag. Lot it on the plane. Yeah. I haven't watched that for years, I need to re watchatch that Yeah good film made better, I think Okay, I think Nolan is kicking himself now because you know he listens to this. He'll be calling you up For the next project? Yeah, no doubt. Absolutely Hopppenheimer too Hopppenheimer, Oopppenheimer. Hppenheimer. Her. Oppenheimer too, Hopppenheimer. Have I told you that I'm sure I said this before, but like you know when we when we on Pixar Easter film. Yeah. Hopppenheimer. Released on Easter Sunday. Yeah. It' defo got a shot at that. Yeah Have I told you that when the Unionist B U when we did the in betweenin' films The scrips kept getting leaked and did they Yeah, Who was leaking them? I never knowew this or will they I had no idea. I had no idea at all. They know have found out who's leaking them anyway, moving on. Oh but So they gave them these cod names on the emailight yeah. And talk about those? I don't know. but the second one was called The Longer By. The Longer Bye, yeah. And so for a while on the United Aents website, it said Joe is the star of the in betweenween his movie and the in between his movie too, Colon, The Longery Yeah. That was just our code worord for it But also like, 'cause if you found the script or something, someone left it on the train, it would just say would just say the long goodbye. I mean, if youd turn the first page Yeah, it would say if you be like Mr. Cooper bitoyy, Simon. Yeah. you off too Yeah How does the second in between his film start Um A party or somethingight Hogarts time Is it a hogwarts pie? Yeah, it's They they ad just, yeah, Will says Greetings muggles. That's right. Is's that the first film? Is that the first First scene the second film? First f scene the second film Greetings, muggle W Daisy Ridley, she in that? Yeahes, she was in it and then they wanted to get her back for the reshoes. She was too busy fun Star Warts. Yeah If there's one thing the immachines excels in, briefly crossing paths with people who then become really massive. Yeah we just stay around. Yeah, yeah, do it even more in between us. Is it?. A, we did. E more of these. weve got more of these, more of these com up O of these in moreore of these, my walks of main cap Um, but that was the uh that was Bane versus Batman The dark night rises We you move into a fat check if you want? Uh, O Joe's got his fats. Oh yeah, we got natural fat to it. No So, Joe, we do have to do our factory we. what I know everyone's guessing what stays Well as I' sure All of you are aware U today is and you're all you know, shouting this at the radio. stop going on about it. Radios people. So people listen. So how people listen to the podcasts in your head. The wireless. they're all families around the wireless. listen to I listen to podcasts in my car quite a lot and to me I just still think of it as the radio from. I mean I know that's They're coming from the skies. I was the. I was talking to Harrison about George Orwell yesterday he's been reading an Animal Farm for school. Oh yeah.. And I've never read it. Yeah. And I was like, o is it good? I've read it's really good. And u because they've also yeah and he was like, yeah, it' was dead interesting And then I was talking to her about War of the Worlds people thought it was real. Well, I don't know. I might be This might be information I've fucked up that I've just passed on to my son as if its Is real I thought it was like a nineteen fifties radio show. Originally You I would be understood it was like a news report or something put it I think they put it out as though it was a news report. And some people were freaking out going o go, the aliens have finally come I wish they would come. to quote you, either shit or get off the potch, you know what I mean just lurking around in the clouds. hanging around army bases and stuff, doing freaking out pilots fucking e be either come or don't. Come or don't. Yeahah I agree. Jine Green Wankers Unless they're big In which case Welcome trying to make sure I don't piss off the alien. No, no, absolutely. But yeah, no, what's our fact today, Joe? Right, well it's an anniversary, is that right? Yes, and as I mean, I mean, I feel a bit. It feels a bit patronizing to even you know think that people might not know this, but it' obviously the anniversary of Dracula being published. so U So that was in eighteen ninety seven So is it just the to the day anniversary? It's not a particular year anniversary, It's just So it was because I was looking at the year. I was like, oh it was oh, it's the It's the one hundred twenty ninth anniversary. Is a publication of hisis name's Brams Stoker. Bram Stoker. R Good Irish. I've been calling him Bam stroker Bam A What wass the guy in jacket? Bamarjera. Bammaggera. Yeah ye. Bam Stroker Bam Stroker. So Bam Stroker brought out a Bam Dker. People loved it Um So today, our facts are inspired by the tale of Dracula And we have had a taste for Of course we have yeah? They're sillly vampires they are We did our s it much light So what's your what's your fact for us? Okay, So this is something that I found out Now obviously book came out in eighteen ninety seven U not overwhelming success Successful enough Bram Stoker was writing Lots of different things. He was quite he wrote for the popular market. so he wrote this kind of gothic stuff. Other gothic stuff was going on at the same time the same time as like Frankenstein, including. Yeah. Well, no, Frankenstein was, I think earlier. I think that was that was earlier. This was actually an era when because there'd been quite a lot of reform in Britain and there'd been a lot more education, a lot more people could read. So I think there was a there was an eighteen seventy made education much more widespread So you had a much bigger reading public So people were trying to write stuff that was a bit more kind of for a popular market. Yeah. bit more commercial. bit more commercial So there was there was another book that I was looking at that was published around the same time. They apparently did a little bit better even than Dracula. This book was called The Beatle. And it was about U guy went to Egypt and he was attacked by a A priestess, to be fair. Okay, I thought you were going gonna say a beatle. No no. Well, no, that's the thing. But then I don't know when but in the end. likeike she was a bit of a beetle. Right. She came back to England She' like always nice. She started a band in They had one drummer initially. Yeah but then they And then for the rest of his life, he thought, o only I could have been in that band. Uh No, no, she so I think she was probably a scour of people and she got all sorts. So and apparently that the Beatle actually did a bit better than. But anyway, so this is getting off track. So Anyway, other things being played around the time, including the Beato. I just want to get that because I think the Beatle is a funny title for a book. Yeah. So It did okay, but then obviously really cut through the film. So the first film version was made in nineteen twenty one, but it's been lost No one knows where he is No no All they've got are four posters. nineteen twenty two That's when you get the first famous one. Nosferat two and the director of that whose name I for the moment gototten He died in the nineteen forties in America and his body was buried in Germany And in twenty fifteen Tom was raided and they stole his skull Well, I say they, which I don't know some h Well, probably some German teenagers film Yeah put money on it.' a teag. Probably smoked a few do. Probably did. Yeahah. probably probably took it to a Berlin. Yeah basasement techno cllub Look at this. It's a laugh. a laugh. We can't tell. It's so funny This is funny, y,' a skull, but Alice Claud Justin Um and They And in the end In the news report that I saw, they' said, and this guy he was buried next to his two brothers. But they were like, and it was weird because they didn't disturb the brrothers tobbs. You know it was not weird because the brothers didn't direct Dracula. Yeahah It's not weird at all. Yeah,'re not gonna to take that. Yeah, it' like, that's weird isn't?'s not Why why weren't they still every skull? busy and also the brother of Neil Armstrong's skull was Yeah ye, exactly Um and they also found they said've never found the skull They found a skull. They found candle wax in the tomb as well, as they maybe some sort of ritual had been Candles never mean. Candles are either really restful or really weird. So you find candle wax, you're like either it's just someone chilling out know with a biscuit or it's like Satanship Or both there's just look at the candles and they sists Is that your fact then? was taken. Yeah, that's The director's name was Frederick Wilhelm More now Yes W how to spe it M what? M U R A N A U. Yeah. Marner. I'm not'm sure that's a pronunciation, but So So he now does not have a skull 's dead though isn't? He is. so maybe he's he's not wondering where he is or anything. Yeahself. Yeah. but good fact. Yeah, what do you make of that? So they've never not never, not yet found And there's also a film missing as well. And a lot of things go missing, a lot of spaky stuff going on around the Dracula films. Good fact, Jo. Thank you. I think. I think should we am? Yeah. I thought we wouldd go for the same one My one's worse. My fact's worse than yours. I mean, I think it's interesting as well that there's this there is this kind of, I think the I think the suggestion is that Like vampires, like the word vampire first entered like English usage because there was this idea that This funn out I read an article that said that a U corpse had been They believed it was they've thought it had come up from the ground and that it They ask wanted to. Yeah, Well, the article said it had been implicated in some murders otherd was funny use the word lolicicated. So it might be a walking cor. it's notice it's just walking call, don't about it but Sbody has murdered anyone. Yeah that's fine But basic bodies can do weird things after death. they can they their hair the hair continues to grow the nail. lot when they found this body they found that the nails were still growing and well, this is the thing I think that's a common misconception. Yeah about the nails growing. I think what it is your skin shrinks. Oh, it's the receding of the Yeah Okay. I've got conflicting Becauseuse used to love that fact when I was a kid I was like yeedge, you know, your ns still grow even after your're dead, That's amazing But why would they If you're dead want to look. He're not going to still ye, you want to look good. So I guess what was it? Yeah. Should we do fact check, Joe, should we to fact check This is the part of the episode where we read a fact or question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of and then we're going to have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us and to decide whether it passes our facts check Uh Joe, I think you've got this week's fact check Yes, so I have got this week's fact check, which comes from Doug And he sent in a message via the Fat up form M this form, this form loveove it love the use of the form. Doug asks, Can a swan really break a man's leg He's put four question marks that. He's well he really wants to know Yes I've done some research myself I can't imagine why that involved. but I'm yet to find any concrete evidence of a swan's leg breaking capability Ovious you' obviously if you were up a ladder and was spooked by a swan. and fell off, you could break a leg, but I don't think that counts. No do I do agree with that. Yeah, same as if once of took out a hit on you. Well. also if you're if, you know, if the sw if you've asked the swan to hold the ladder at the bottom and it just wanders off And the ladder slips and you break your leg I' l that on this one. Okay, so that can be this one's fult And Well, we're going to get on the case And we'll be back with the fact stat, yes. Jam Uight, welcome back to Joan Jones Fector. Hi Yeah We were just fact checking on the behalf of Doug, who wanted to know can a swan really break someone's Leg. he says, Can I break a man's leg that. I've heard I've not heard legs. I've heard arms I think I think I've yeah, I think'veard I've heard arms as well U I think maybe he's put it in because he's got a little bit in mind of this ladder thing. Yeah These things to be you can still break your arm on a ladder But I've heard the same thing. Yeah good point.'ve but I've heard arm. I've heard a sw. I've heard arm as well. And I've said it to my kids. we've gone to a duck pond or something, I've gone all careful. careful this one They're very they're very angry. especially if they've got a nest or young around. Well I think that's definitely a ch if there are youngsters. They do charge. I feel like I've got a vague memory of being charged v as one myself They put their wings out and they run after you. My dad When he was a young man, he was spent some time in Swaziland Please Cps and he said that they used geese to like guard dogs. Rot. Geese are apparently they're quite . They' a bit handy, Geese. Where was he? Twazzan Swanand. Swazand. I don't I think it I think it might not be called Swland. Swanseyand. Yeah. And I was like, what? Swanseyland is you're if you're in Cardiff, but you get a little taste of Swansea. Yeah, get yourself down to Swanseyand And it's got like You know, it's got the really big ebonhams. you know to what E Heven Swans, just thought they might have Heavennams Um it's got yeah sw Swanie Bowl, Swanie Bowl. Yeah, Swanseie L lot there. Swans the Swanseie lot are there. Yeah, statues of some of them. Yeah They're all little slugs though aren' they? You smugs you' little Sugs. All little slugs are no personalities. Just Jimbrella with that you are. Yeah. And he got aggressive from. But yeah, and apparently yes, yes, they are Geese Geese can be aggressive Swans are this curious thing I mean,' they're massive swans. They're fucking big They're massive and they sort of they they play quite a prominent role, I think in Film and television culture, I feel like there's the hot fuzz thing that's got a swan in it, hasn't it? There' It was very taboo. It's one of the final taboos, isn't it? Kill this one or marry one about to marry one? Yeah You're notowed to marry a swan? You have to go over to Gretna Green and then you can marry a swan. Right. O goose I think a goose can't mry a swan I don't know Um But I think the the quQeen can. This is a fever dream like this episode. It's really bizarre. Yeah Um the Yeah, this swan Yeah, I've heard I mean, I have heard this. the idea about them being like rooyal royal property I yeah they r by the I gamed the King now Do they have San for Christmas dinner because they're the only people that are allowed to have a swan I imagine it's not very nice. I don't know if I've Dream that up In Operation Good guys, which is another sitcom of the same vintage you know, the offffice had a lot to The office actually did oe quite a lot to oper guys the They they have a visit by a member of the role. They might be the quQeen. Right. And they serve a dish that they call stuff with a turkey. Swan in a basket And she says, that's absolutely revolting So I mean, if that's to be believed, they then the quQueen does not not eat the. Well yeah, you keep saying, the quQeen. The king s yeah andus It'sic to keep up in it? It iss hard to keep up with these monarchs, they come and go. Keeping up with the Windsors. Oh to the pke now. Oh, I don't know. What I would like to talk about is the fact that it is a fact, as far as I'm concerned that a swan can break someone's arm for definite And if it's not a fact, I'm honestly going be so disillusioned I don't know what to I don't know. Why do you So what would I this one this one has a wing It's got a wing, it's got a beak. It's got that long neck. And I appreciate it's got a lot of stuff, but a lot of that seems like a liability rather than like light headed. Yes, it's got a long neck. Yeah. To me, that's I mean, the draft' got a long neck. We don't hear them. aking people' I don't know man, they do. you've seen yourraus for it Th think the cops have a script They kick each other. they also smack their necks. onto each other's neck. I't actually have seen it. It's really violent I think Swan's D you know the giraffe rightot? Because of the way that the giraffe has evolved to have this mentor neck There is I There is some sort of I think it's a vine or something pumps, the blood or something like that, right Oh, isn't the pressure? In or foram? Yes, right It does, it's sort of vestigial. is that the word? Is' something left over that doesn't really be there. Yeah ye yeah. But in us or whatever, in all mammals, it sort of travels up, but doesn't go anywhere, but then goes down to our foot or something like that. Right. There's some sort of very bizarre Right U badly like the finding so one of these are don't really neat yet at one point when we were sort of a little thing that it made sense but now evolved And the giraffe still has this thing. Right. It goes right up its fucking neck. Yeah, all the way back down again. Right. Whereas it just needs to go like from here to here I can't remember exactly what it was. I remember watching it on inside Nature's Giants Oh wow, okay. Which I'd love them to bring that back again. That was great. insside Nature's chat Um So the dri I said, I shouldn't have brought up draws actually they do seem quite No, I mean, not because of that. That was wed, but like I but they actually do seem like maybe they're quite tough. I think more, you know what is this one. I think we've never really seen them do anything So we're like, what can they fucking do? They're an enigmatic animal, right? We all have seen their feet it doesn't all fit together. We're like, wait a minute, there's this beautiful thing on top, like a bride. What's out underneath? A couple of fucking dinosaur feet. Yeah And so that's weird. Do think so we think what else do they hide you? You think they've just got really good PR I think honestly're bit I think they're a bit like the Sovet Union during the Cold War where we're like we're fright someone's like, don't let them know we actually haven't fucking got anything. We can't break hiss arm. Yeah, yeah. I think it's more like that. I thinks they've got good PR And also the less to convince everyone we a bancy PR. like you know I mean? It's like you don't know anything. the less we know about this person or swwan Well I mean, I maybe Maybe Banks is a swan You know I mean? that could be that could be true as well I think they found out who Banksy was Yeah, they have them. I saw a I saw a picture of where he actually is So I mean, so you know the thing but I think is that they are they appear They're enigmatic, they are and this association with the royal family. Again, what is it that the Queen used to say? You must not let in Light upon magic or something. like don't ever which I agree with actually..on't get right on the curtain sort of. was correct policy of the queen Yeah,' a wise Be you Be actually B because it's completely unjustified. Was she tapp Was she tapping her nose at the same time? Yeah, she was like, u Hey, all no. Don't all no. you know? Ask no questions. Yeah. I'll tell you no lies. How many palaces have I got? Oh remember Oh You ask yourself, oh, you got to take this job. Yeah. No ye But u But no, so I think I think it kind of they have this air of mystery. they have this there there they appear to be in line to the throne or something. I don't know. they've got this they're associated with the royal family. And I think that because of that, we think, my God, what could they do Um And we've never, I mean, I know that Doug says he's done some research. Y. Do you think because they're protecting you. I'm worried that he's, you know, taking it upon himself to go out probably at night into reservoirs Well, we care because because they are protected by the. So don't get over your head, Doug, I'd say. Do do you think they're a bit more confident than the one they should be Yeah that's why they like rush out of you and if you get too close to the bank. Yeah. They're like yeah, you're fucking. Well Yeah you know our mateswith Yeah Only the fucking king. So if you want to start something Let's go They're over yeah, they they think they're untouchable Yeah, they think their power. and their connections will protect them. But I do think they can break your arm But you still think they can break. They're big and strong How strong shouldhould we f what too be honest, I'm saying well, first of all Doug says leg That seemed don't mean I could break a leg. I can't break a leg. I couldn't break ag. Can break an arm Well, what part the arm? I mean, how like maybe this bit? It'd snap you around, I think, Yeahah Maybe this would not happen Your elbow. The elbow. Just snap it right off I think I feel like it's a thing is said to stop people from going up to sw and giveiv them a hard time. mean they do look like I'm starting to think that too now. They do look like they're sort of Some creatures look like they No bog standard whereereas the swan looks like it's a little bit of a cut above ,n't? Yish got those angel wings. Yeah The long sinuous neck. They are pretty inn't they? They are pretty U The The color scheme is pretty good. bllack and white, just the orange fear weir ug the ugly ducklin He was a sw in the end. Everyone was going ' Oh you're ugly mate. still don't really know what the moral of that story is the ugly ducklin. Because you tell you tell that story to ugly kids Be you're like, Oh, the other kids in my school take the piss out at me because I'm ugly. And you go, well, let me tell you about the ugly duckling He grew up to be a swan Yeah and he was better looking than everyone Yeah. And It doesn't work with ugliness. It needs to work. It needs to work with The ugliness has to be an analogy for something where it would. So for example, but the Duglely Duckglin is literal Oh of different species. Yeah. ye. But the ugly duck thing is like literal It's don't you worry because you'll probably don't worry about being ugly now because you'll probably get up to be really beautiful. Yeah Look at me. I didn't get my swan moment. Well, this is because it's it of different species. When I was an ugly little boy So when you're at school you've got to be like, I really hope I am actually just a really attractive orangutoan. Yeah. I'm just the best looking stick Yeah, stick me in the zoo. Yeah. I'll have me pick of all the females. Anyway. anyway what So I'm going to leave this up to you, Joe, actually because I'm now on the fence I don't think okay. So to be honest Dg says can it break a man's leg? Sure And other than these the scenarios that he's he of llustrated. Yeah, if it was if you if it was if it speaks to you on a on a letter If it was driving a taxi. Yeah, if it was driving a taxi, I'm sure it would it was it would struggle and it'd probably do some damage. Yeah. if it was performing an operation If there was a grand piano teachering on the edge of a cliff and You thought I hope nothing touches that and then a swan goes, Oh There was a squadron of armed swans. Yeah if they were just I' leave out to you, Joe. you go I don't think I think it's fact u R acked off. I think it's backacked. I think your le think it'sacked off. I don't think I'll break your leg. right ould we throw it? And I don't I don't really believe they can break your arm. I think it's quite apt that that we u throw over to quQueen may. Queen you may your creature? Yeah, I don't like him to be fair I don't like him of now So From my research and I will say this doesn't seem to be a lot of medical research. however For my research, it seems to indicate that they're not strong enough to break a fully grown adult's arms or legs. However, if you have particularly brittle bones or you' a child, you might be more at risk. but the risk seems more from the fact that they push you over and make you fall rather than The wings are snaappp in your arms. R Well, well there you go. And what are these swans doing attacking poor little brittle children? Yeah. You know I mean? so basically, what's happening? Pick on someone your own size Yeah. Well going after our old and our, you know ly kids or whver it was. Powdery boned infants. Yeah. And it was the old old people were old, wasn't it? Old people oldld people are old. And they old people are old people, always and So Yeah, I would so I think I think I was right I think I was right. If we were talking about adults, absolutely. ye. Yeah. I mean, children Let's leave them out of it, right? Let's please. I'm collecting with Jerry. Yeah, Right, that that then. So that's that. So so Doug, Doug, don't but youon't do any more research? Yeah, I think I think we've able to out there D you need to move on to the fist I've got to do my f. Yeah That your f. Yeah, we're also we are running Long Yeah. So that's some there's a giraffes neck am I right? Oholly, absolutely. Oh Ly M, can you quickly look up that thing that goes up the giraff's neck and comes back down again so I know what it is. If you'd like us to fact check something, head to our episode's description for all the ways that you can get in touch and there iss a mob of always. there's WhatsApp. the socials, there's this special for my far My favorite by far is the form I love that. I love that we've got a form. It's great. can just fill it out the filling fill in this form, please. ta I'm very pro red tape, or more red tape. Have you managed to get anything there, Lily May I'm trying to find that one is someome sort of in or some sort of It's an So it's so for absolutely no reason. It goeses way up just to come way back down again. That's good. But I like it's like a sort of Look an old branch line that they never bothered to cl down Yeah and I'm all for that because that was when they shut down then branch lines. We lost part of the fabric of our Yeah, didn't we? Well Shall I move on to my factay while you're looking? Yeah let me look away. So facts about Dracula, my fact. So I've gone I've taken retro to its logical conclusion Yes. I've gone to the original Dracula. Oh I know who this is. which is which is what I thought you'd go for as well. The son of Dragon Yes This is fllad fllad the Ialer, fllad the Imaler. Wh ruled M We're luck here Yeah. Well I haven't been quite sure prounnce that. modern day Romania in the fifteenth century. He did a good job of keeping what was it the Ottomans or something Yeah, I think he'd been captured by the Ottomans when he was a small boy. Yeah, they brought him up and stuff Yeah, he seems like he was had quite a traumatic Youth. Lots of brothers and cousins being killed. Yeahore trying to kill him. But he's d Kep fucking him over. sort of or something. he kept like attacking The Ottomans Right. So the Ottans right. We're going to take I think they took I Andy's brother. Yeah. And they were like, oh, we're going to take you right, we're keeping your kids now. all right. G got your I've got your kids. Yeah. G got your kids down. Yeah Yeah. And So do you want to stop attacking us because otherwise we're going to do so much to kids.way, I think he' still carried on Yeah. ye. L he start didningt give a fuck. Very much the Homer Simpson where the guy's trying to sell Homer a burglar alarm and he's getting a bit expensive And the guy says but surely you can't put a price on your children' safety and H home s, Well, I wouldn't have thought so either but here here we are. Yeah. I wouldn't thought so over, but here we are. carried on. know, commit to it, I mean, you can't You can't stop just because He was ruling for a bit and then he didn't for a bit. Yeah. They were constantly, I think this part of Europe was a sort of very important part because it was like a buffer between the rest of Europe and the Ottomans, I think I might be really mad gl my up This isn't much much this is just sort of the Nonsense that If you're if you're in between two big powers, you never have a good time. Yeah You never have You don't want to be stuck between like Germany and Russia. but he didn't take always a nightmare. Yeah, he didn't take any shit. Does doesn't sound like he did. He didn't take any shit at all whatsoever. And in he's sometimes seen as a national hero in Romania defending his land against the Ottoman Empire. Yeah, I' just read a bit more of my own fact and He but his most infamous punishment was impalment where victims were placed on long wooden looads of spikes would line them up would if he was trying to he would bring them like with them to battles and stuff and and line them up. If he was like besieging a city or something, he would be like, listen, do you want to Yeah knock this on the head now. Does that look cool? Yeah. Yeah. Do I Do he Does he look cool? Does he really look cool? Does he look cool? But yeah, he would impale a load of people. Um One story claims an invading army turned back after seeing a forest of the impaled Bloody hell Um, well, in a way What he was saying is I'm not going throw good money off bad. I mean,'ve I've already killed this number of people, but I'm not going to kill anymore because you've turned Well I'm gonna ask you, Joe. Jack as violent and horrific as that is Uh do the ends justify the means because as his punishments were so harsh as a ruler U it was, you know to try and reduce crime and corruption and stuff. It was reported that theft nearly disappeared during his roule. Wow. People just didn't bother anymore. They're like fuck that. Yeah. mean You probably you probably would stop if if that was if that was the punishment. But I mean, what's that place where like There's no chewing gum on the streets because you get imprisoned if you put think might be Singapore. Is that right? Everyone's like there' no chewing gum on the street stone. you're like Yeahah, but it is a problem. Really worth it. Wh it is, man. It's a real big problem. Yeah. but why is it latex or something chewing gums made of? Yeah You can't get that stuff off the I don't know who's thrown it on the ground anyway Mom and your son was imprisoned for putting chewing gum on the floor, you might think that's a bit of a bigger problem I Well if I was if it was my kid, I'd go, don't put any chewing gum on the floor becausecause you know what they You know what happens if you do. Yeah. But then kids It's a simple thing not to do. I get one. I can I'd probably listen, I hate littering genuine I cannot bear it. If I was selfish, but if I was put in charge of that's the kind of thing that I would go after I'd make that like top of the thing apart from all the important stuff, I'd go like, T really fucking winds me up, Tewing gum on the pavement. Well I suppose you Mbe it's low hanging fruit And I feel like there's something you'll be able to tackle quite easily. It'll be a small thing Can you just change the recipe of chewing gum so it's not bring in Wonka, do the special one that tastes like a roast dinner, something. Yeah, Wh while you're at it. if you're gonna do it, do that By the way, the reason why I was talking about Vlad invaler then is because he was the original Dracula which does translate son son of Dragon. his father Vlad I second was drracul He was Dragon, Dracula Um when son of the Dragon. But that's what Damstroker Uh basase the character on it, I believe.