Impact of Positive Fan Feedback

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Call one eight hundred five two six seven seven three six to learn more. or visit trmphiaradio. com Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. 'twas a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast An offer you can feast on. sell your car today on Carvana Pick up these Mailifly I'm Archmanning. I'm Madison Skinner, I'm Ev Yovich. I'm D Coria Moore. want to train like a Red Bowl athlete. Tell us your fitness goals this summer to enter the Red Bull Athlete challenge. You'll get to try each of our workouts for a chance to win an ultimate Red Bulll experience. They you have what it takes Joe, I want to put this to you. I think something that has happened over the course of these episodes is that you have really been able to just get people to open up. Don't get me wrong, we've had a lot of laughs. I'm thinking about some of them now We have a class But you really have managed to get people to talk about things that I've not seen them talk about before And in a way, the just I don't know it just feels so natural. And I've also seen a very vulnerable side to you come out as well.'t you' you've noticed that. Yeah When we started working together all that way back when, I had no idea Well I didn't really have any idea what I was getting into. but I had no idea that it would go as light and dark as it has done and how patients, guests, clients, whatever we legally have to call them would actually do when they come into our office. and it was originally I thought to be back and forth a bit of bit of a crack, a bit of thing, get to know them a bit better than other podcasts and other interviews that have done Um And then they get in the room and then you actually just sort of react off of We don't really have too big an agenda on any of it all. We're just like, oh, we just react off of it. And some of the Some of the revelations, I don't really like using that word, but I don't know any other words. as you know, I've got quite a limited number. like Josh Whidakum for always where he just opens up so casually about the meds he takes for Depression and how normalized that chat became and how comfortable people then end up feeling Oh yeah, come on out. I'll a laugh but I'll also tellry some of most vulnerable moments of my life. Jason Fox, hearing some of the things that he's been through. Oh my God. I just I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but also then his ability to sort of snap into finding the light in it and finding the funny in it Um I love I love that the facts that one minute We're able to open up and talk about the darkest thoughts in our heads. And then the next minute, we're asking him to pluck my nose has out of me. And it's completely norm because it should be is normal. bloody loved. I thought he did love. He bloody lo love doing that. It was straight on the tweezers. Yeah, shake getting there. What we've done is we've gone through all the episodes, there was a lot to choose from But we've, I think compiled some of the more vulnerable moments of podcast, both with you and some of the guests for everyone at home to sit back and watch. Great work Just a heads up, there's some big heavy topics discussed in the upcoming compilation. And if you yourself are struggling, then we've got some great links on our Instagram bio For professional help, so Look after yourself and enjoy. let's start at the beginning, Thank you. I didn't know how to do that, sorry at beginning beginning. Yeah. The riskiest thing that you're probably known for and that was being in the Marines. In the spepecial forces I think is the It was a bit more was more riskier for me So did a ten years in the Marines, which was There was no real action seen by myself Not through Choice just that's the way the cookie crumble And because of that, I was getting frustrated so I decided to put in for my opportunity to do selection, which is the entry exam to get into the spepecial forces. Do you miss it? U I did I did. I did. Oh you did. Yeah. I did miss it pect I But I left because of mental health So it was it was cut Sure slightly, which Still is a bit of pill was there no Services available to you to help out with that? or was it just not an environment for you to be able to struggle in that and then move forward with it. There's like a There was a psychological department within the medical center on the base that I lived down I knew something was going wrong and I knew something wasn't quite right because Id lost my I'd lost me moojo for the job. I was like bored of it And then I was supposed to get ready to go on another tour of duty, with a thing that I loved, absolutely loved. and it felt like a dark cloud in the distance. And I was like, fuck So I thought I need to address this because I'm responsible for people. You know, I'm supposed to be a ball of fire and you know, encourage people to do stuff, debrief them we' going and doing cool shit And it just wasn't It wasn't I was finding it frustrating and So I was like, fucking I to I need to go and see. So I went and presented under the cover of darkness, liivered into this fucking department, knocked on the door So I'm like in there saying that I've lost you don't know who I am, blah blah, blah. I've lost I feel like I've lost my emojo G me a few words of encouragement so I can get it back and g out the drawning. And obviously it's not like that. Even though I'd been the person that had gone and presented himself. I didn't buy into the fact that there was an issue to address. and so I didn't engage very well with the help that was there. It was more of a token attempt. I was like, just you fucking tell me why Tell me saying that I can then go back out and do it again, and I was like, Iin't got a fucking problem. I just need to get rid of this feeling. And then the ball had been set in motion for my career to end I had to go with it to a certain degree and then when I left, it really did spiral And it wasn't fixing itself because I was bullshitting to myself about the fact that there was an issue. Did you have Did you have a sort of epiphany moment of if I'm going to sort of sort this, I need to approach therapy and all that stuff differently. Yeah, so it spoiled out quite considerable way and I was basically stood on top of a cliff. That was the epiphany moment when I was like, I' you know launched myself off And that's it or if I'm going to fucking stop this being an issue, what do I need to do? So the epiphany moment was we stood there like that having an absolute meltdown And'm being like, o fuck yeah, I've been bullshit to myself Thank you for being so open, first and foremost, I know this is It is a semi piss take not being a pseudo psychologist, but it is also a really good way of opening up and having conversation with all our guests And so I appreciate you sharing that with. if there is a skeleton with a mooawk on it, I'm going know It's not ideal. opening up about this sort of stuff. Jake. but I s repeat it earlier now. U You can deal with these things with light and dark light. You have. aggreed. Owise That's half the issue. That's half the battle you if you can't even talk about the darkness because of the feeling that it makes you have, like you're never going to do it. so then just suffer in silence. Exactly. And the other thing is the bit that gets me is I My mechanism of potential suicide wasn't great because I chose a cliff and I fucking hate heights. So it was kind of maybe I wasn't We're going to do it. No I don't know. I don't know we it. Yeah, exactly. But what made you stay But might for me When I've had my demons and been at my darkest moment, it was like I go I'm a worthless piece of shit. I'm not going to have any influence or help for anyone else' all better off without me And it was in that moment that I have actually my kids and my wife will be worse, way worse off without me, even though I feel like they'd be better off And I couldn't do it to them I think it was my epiphany I think it's not dissimilar, but It was more than not giving up on those people that was the thing I was kind of thinking Hang a minute, this is a fucking. this is a give up I'm not I've not done that before. You know, I've found things difficult before and I've taken a while to get things done And you know, whether it's been in the military or anything else, you know, things don't just happen This is just me giving up. Wow Right, let's get into it. Where did this never enough originate from? What's say about me U what serious answer? Let me just clarify the whole session. you can make it as serious or as funny as you like. If If you want to sit here and me and you talk about masculinity, And mental health or whatever, we can do that. If we can sit here and prat about, we can do that. If we do both, we can do that. It's whatever you want it to be, Peter. Wow. Both is good though isn't it A Just go off the other apps. Allright? Yeah. listen. So where did it come from My mum tried to take her own life when I was eleven and I. Yeah. I found her and I always had this thing that she would have left my mum and dad divorced and I always had this thing that she' have left me and I wasn't enough for her to want to be here. Fucking now, mate. and I've only really realized that as I've kind of got older and wrote the book., but that's s probably why I've always felt like I've never been enough. There's always this wanting to do more for other people because it's I've never been able to do enough. I'm always the one amongst all my kind of friends and everything. I'm probably a bit of control for it. G get shit done. If you need sank done, I'll do it You know, I'll do whatever you need me to do just because I don't know, some sort of validation, but even if people give you that, I won't believe it. So it's now just in my head. So actually I'm just not enough for myself. It's probably not even that I'm not enough for other people anymore Thank you, Mate N in all seriousness when we were talking about Three minutes ago. You Oh we're not don't have to give you the serious answer I think, but to then actually give An answer like that, I'm like, Ah know it alwayss weird becausecause I don't really, know it's similar to kind of most men, not great at talking about them sort of things. but only really in the last couple of years I lost you know the most important person to me a few years ago And um, and just went completely off the rails. and she was kind of always been from a kid like my safety blanket when you kind of lose that, you have to start reflecting on yourself and why you do the things you do and why you become the person you become. But pre that, I just I never would have spoken about anything like that. And you explore that a lot in your podcast, don't it man made? Yeah. Does that come up with a lot of the guests that you have on yours? Yeah. L not being enough that feeling of like impostor like why am I here? what am I doing?'s you know I've always said that I've not never suffered with mental health, you know, you know, my mum was bipolar and you know I never really understood that. I just thought she didn't want me. I didn't understand that that wasn't her at the time. That was, you know, she was She wasn't well and she, you know she still suffers now. and I think this is the thing with mental health is so many people now. Yeahah it's talked about loads, but no one really listens. And I think that's the problem. we're all told to talk but no one really listens because actually the talk inside of stuff, it's good for you to understand yourself, butn there isn't a cure for mental health. There's no one size fits all answer to anything It's just trying to ensure you have more good days and bad days. My view on it is that your mental health is the same as your physical health in the sense of It's never You're never always perfect. you're never always bad. Do you know what I mean? It's about finding what What things work for you to make you have more good days than bad days. And it's from various degrees It's difficult because there's so many different things that, you know therapy, talk to your friends, do this and there's so many different other or different avenues for people to go down if they are struggling But its also can be quite disconcerting for people if they try these things and they still feel that shit. and actually Really fundamentally, it all comes down to understanding yourself and I'm a complete work in progress with that. Do know what I mean? You know mananm is certainly not about me giv this, it's just about hearing someone's story and listening. It's not about me giving answer to anyone ' fuckking know, if you're going to come wing for advice, ain't me. It's about listening and just having that conversation where someone might listen to Sat and go and understand themselves a little bit better Do you still feel that you have imposter syndrome or experienence that feeling Now that you're sitting here, now that like day to day. Yes In different ways though, I'm m bllessed that I've found my people and I have amazing friendships and relationships in my life. I know that I can rely on the fact that even if I feel insecure about how I do what I do, whether I'm recording a podcast interview or writing a book. I can fall back on the fact that I've done it. amount of hours and X amount of years And so I have an evidence base that I'm probably okay at it. And that's helpful Having that level of practical expertise. I'd love to be able to tap into that because I've got a fucking clue how to get rid of the feeling of Never belonging Even doing this. I'm like, fucking out how have I managed this? This is great. fucking Wing this one like the seventeen years at rugby.' never good've ever been there. It's the evidence based approach, isn't it? Looking at the whole history of everything you've done, all the things you've done successfully and justre thinking, well, maybe I' amg good at this. Yeah, but there's another thing in my head that also goes, maybe that didn't even ever happen Oh I to really get that. I firstirst of all, I think it's really beautiful that you shared that. Oh thanks. Really? Thanks. And I also think that it's S sometimes an amazing thing still to have Clearly you are brilliant at what you do. C clearly you are a brilliant Rubby bear. Carly you are like great at this and you were great on the traiters and all of that. But maybe it's good that you don't fully believe it because it means that you care and it also means that you are attuned to other people's responses to you. And that's a really beautiful thing to take in the world. and we actually need more of it So maybe you never want to lose it entirely. It's actually very powerful feeling like you're not fully included sometimes. thank you, that's really kind of here I might know how to deal with that remo quite much, but it was not Yeah. But I do also think there's a part of me that goes It might be easier for me to continue down that route of notot feeling like I belong as a great defense mechanism of like, well, I didn't want to be there anyway. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? When it does go titz up or it does go It doesn't go well or you are U You know, actually you're not I don't, I'm not very good at that It's a defense mechanism for me Well I wasn' meant to be there anyway. I didn't want to be there. Do you know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. It's an avoidant attachment. like you're avoiding being hurt by refusing to open up and be attached to something.. And I've got insecure attachment where I'm like, Just love me, love me, love me, me let me try harder and harder and work harder and do everything. Eventually like that will make me feel safe. and neeither one of them is bad, but I think it's really powerful to know that that's where it comes from Part of your avoidance is making the joke before other people make it And I want you to know that you are you are fundamentally lovable You are loved. just you don't actually have to do anything. You are loved exactly as you are I know you don't believe that, but I want you to know it Thank you. That was kindy U Your show I don't know how to deal with that. I'm not really good at that either. I know because I like to think that Um o I can re I can handle awk goodness. I can handle Silence You know, I've always based things on making other people feel uncomfortable But you've just made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I know. I don't know how to deal that. so I will deal with it in the most mature way. I know how to and go. Thank you, Elizabeth. It's really kind of you Thank you, Joe Nothing brings me more joy than spending time with you, brother. Is that true? Beuse I was actually at television center the other day, wasn't I? And I'd text you to see if you're about And it took you seven or eight hours to get back to me saying, Yeah, I'm here, brother. Where are you at? It's funny that you say that, isn't it? Because I remember actually asking you if you wanted to do something with me a while ago and I texted you, Are you free on this day in June? And you never got back So What's worse, seven hours before we get back to a friend or never getting back to a friend? Let Let's put it to our lovely team. Guys, give me a cheer if you think it's worse to take seven hours to respond to a text Give me a cheer if you think it's worse just to never respond to a text Iuck a little fkinger for anything. T know what, I'm going to the new category. Give me a cheer if you work on the show, but don't engage in any sort of vocalised referendums. Yeah, I think that's the worst one. bloody else going over it. Y. Yes. I think interested. I do that brother Who we've actually what did you say? I said, I do love you there, brother in what way? I just feel likeve I've really It's been a very special thing to do this but also make probably one of my closest friends in the world in you Yeah, no one's ready for that were they? Yeah, you're right with that Can you handle that Beome You cant you can't handle that. All right, well Take it, Do what you can with it I think it's okay to tell someone what you want from them and what I want from you is I don't know, a little bit of affection but that's okay Um And on that note, I suppose o whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, You don't come to this side of the office very often Wow Oh wow Wow, Do you know what while I've got you here on the subject of asking people what you want from them We'd actually like you, the viewer and listener to do something as well for us. And I think it's okay to ask for what you want We want you to help us grow this Sh by liking byy subscribing. Yeah on YouTube. On YouTube. Yeah and commenting because we've built a we'll see you now show. We're doing something here, guys. We're building a community of your friend. something. We really are doing something. You just need you to know that took on board what he said Um It's kind of you. I struggle with accepting that. I struggle with any sort of Does it look like I'm sat on his lap What is is about Does it hit Does it look like I'm a vventure his stummy? I've really enjoyed getting to know you. Yeah, I've enjoyed getting to know you. But that's it. and I find it really hard to give myself to people in the fear of giving to me been Brayed I'll never betray you and I want to believe that. But I do find it tough to actually do that. I can only prove that to you through what I do not through what I say. and if that takes time, that takes time A you closing your eyes? because I'm closing mine Definitely. All right, c. Should we did the guest bit? did the guest bit guesop. All right Hello, hio? Why are you impersonating me? Hello, I'm trying to get your attention. We've got some very serious stuff to say, o? Sounds ominous. Well, we interrupt this broadcast, this episode, whatever it is, to tell you that we're going on tour. We are and I' so excited. We finally get to meet the people that watch and listen to us week in week out And of course, I get to spend more time with you, Jake, outside the office. That's beautiful. Sometimes when you say something heartfelt and genuine. it just knocks me back a little bit into my plant. Don't ruin it, mate. But yes, we're coming to a city near you, which means you got a decision to make. You're going to stay home and wonder what it would' have been like? wonder what life would have been like if you came and saw it? Or do you come out and experience a one of a kind night that will include celebrity guests w, games, audience participation, and maybe the odd sing song or two? Yeah, I think we're gonna to get start getting warmed up now look no It is' awesome. It's nothing There's no Christmas content. I just don't want anyone getting confused about that.'s not. It's a cal concert. D all Tunnel songs All of these are brown, these are brown in the sky. great. it's the only awutumn song, isn't there? If you say name and all s is great. Well else you gonna name E got down my. E to pray. to pray Tickets are available in the episode description now So good, so good New summer arrivals are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Get ready to save big with up to sixty percent off brands like Rag and Bone, Levi's, Adidas, and Free People. Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like Doorash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility That's Freedom to be. Use us directed This summer' soccer is here. And so are the watch parties. And Uber Eats has her Game dayay esssentials covered with thirty percent off orders from Aldi, Kroger, and Dollar General everything you need to keep your crowd happy, delivered straight to your door. chips, dips, fresh ingredients, and more Order in, so you can lock in for the games thirty percent off your grocery order, only on Uber eats for a limited time When was the last time you cried You know what? I think it was when I misjudged coming down off Antidepressants went too fast. You didn't do the tapering Well, I'm now back up to ten milligrams. Really? Yeah But I was on twenty. Yeah. but what is it? I'm on No, I did a telepram. That's what I'm on. Okay, here we go. Here we go. There we go.' talking What milligrams are you on? I' on twenty. Are you? Yeah. And I've experienced that before where Yeah. ' it takes a while to build up For it to kick in, doesn't it? Yeah, I'd be taking it for a while. And then you seem to sort of level out and then you're on it. and then you're meant to taper off. But there was so often, especially early doors when I was struggling with it or I was like, I feel much better. of course. I'm not on course anymore. A gone Yeah. The fucking cutown is hard. So what happened to me, I don't know when it was about six months ago was I was ill and It meant I forgot to take them for three days. And then I got better phhysically, but I was in a dark place. So I just was crying for no race here. So that's the answer to that one. Oh wow. Thank you for sharing that as well. Sorry, it's so u I think more people should talk about it because I think it's a really normal thing. It was complete And I was really worried about taking them because I thought there was so much stigma attached to it. I thought it was a weakness in taking them. So did I. And I thought it was m. I can do this on my set. I can do this totally. It was in my own mind. Totally to actually fix my broken mind. Yeah It doesn't fuckking. I was like, What if it makes me not me? And I was like, but me is really sad. Oh, thank you. We appreciate that Biggest fear obviously like things that would be the worst like beinging tortured or at war or something like that. Yeah. But that's not something that takes my day So really, the actual fears that grip me are Mundane and vain So they are stuff like Just career feit, constant career feit. They're the things that consume me But I mean, I'd rather my career disappeared than I was tortured in Iraq She's got to choose I'ard to choose. But that doesn't consume me. I very rarely think about Guantonamo Bay. So the thing that consumes me would be It all going away But even even even after being doing it for so long at such a high level, Not as bad as it was. Right, okay. But still there. It's still there What would happen if it did all go away I think it would be fine The truth is, would your wife and kids still love you I don't know if they do as it is true.. It's such a sort of question of like, well, I hadn't even considered that was an option There's a whole new level of fear about this unlocked Tell me a secret Um Question. One of the side effects of Ecatalapram? Oh I know you're interested. Yeah It's more difficult to ejaculate That's not a secret, though. That's on Google, Mac. I know. Some people don't discuss that. And I basically wanted to see what your reaction would be to saying it Well don't tell people that. No know whether that's something you've found. Yeah. You tell it then you're like fucking hell. What's going on here, Eed Do you know what I really like? What that you have just come on him and per' enough to open up. I think it's better to just go I've decided in the last few years just to go for it on these things. Great. He's gonna bite me on the arse one day. Oh definitely, deffinitely And I'll be right there beside you. Neither of you coming. What was a big break as a performer? Kind of two. I suppose the really big one is Lees Mres. I was a year out of drama school. How old are you there?? twentyty two twenty three Yeah, twenty two. And I was doing the big break was going up for an open audition So The Gilbert and Sullivan musical um, or opereretta called Pirates of Penance. They had these four stars in it and then the young lead, I went up with about six hundred other people for an open audition and ended up with a lead in that. You did that in Manchester Yout shitting yourself As long kids, not really doing it. You know at that point you' fearess. I' absolutely fearless. The fear came later And then from there, Cameron Mcintntosh. saw me And they were casting Les Miz. Les Miz was about to happen at the Royal Shakespeare Company. Trevin undirecting I was obsessed with him as a director. and they asked me down to audition and I ended up in the original cast of that That was a huge. I mean, you'd arrived. Yeah. I always thought it was really cutthroat and nervous shit to go and do. But the way you've spogen it, was like, Yeahah, I went and did this, got this that went that was l is. I'm the next big thing Yeah And that was my downfall, I think, because I' doing lam is. And I got ill And I then lost all my confidence. I suddenly developed anxiety and panic attacks and would find myself on stage Not being able to breathe. I don't know if you've ever experienced them and Having come from nowhere, having been supremely confident to suddenly having this where you're that body outside that looking at yourself going, you don't know what you're doing. you don't know what the next words are. You're going to cock this up for everybody so that you then have the fight or flight and you're clinging onto a chair That would turn to be getting onto the tube to go into work and having to get off and come home and call in sick So I left the show A height I mean, it was huge. It was the biggest show going And um I just do this. How did you get to the bottom of that then How did you tell anybody? R? Did you understand what was going on? And no people around you understand what was? They just thought he's lost it. I've had a breakdown. Yeah and he's lost it And what a shame U Cameron, God bless him, the producer alsoso was a producer of Phantom So I left for nine months And he said to me, right, we're recasting Phantom The role of Ral, there are three leads in Fhantom. Phantom, Christine and Ral Raul's the young sort of hero, You'd be perfect. C and meet Andrelwidd Weber. You either shit or get off the pot. Be so, you know This is you won't get another opportunity sir she'll get off the box. Similar with the girded Girded my loins. Girded my loins. That's exactly what I did. I girded my loins on the shitting pot. Yes, Thankk you. And I went in and I met Andrew Lloyd Weber did the audition, they offered it to me, and I thought I'm just going to have to deal with this. And I did. Joe, when you were playing rugby, did you were you ever sort of like in the middle of a game? you've got thousands, thousands of people watching.s that feeling of panic and then seizing up Was that ever something you experienced? Oh yeah, lowd. Really? But then I would just It's so physical that if you are seizing o, can I just take that back first Yeah when you're in the tunnel Yeah and you're waiting to run on. Yeah, I wouldn't go. So you have no idea what's ahead of you. You know what you've got to do.'s The feeling, isn't it? Yeah. And then so you're in there and you go out with your mate. I go, I'm out there scared chitlers. And I'd always be laghed out because I'd be like, actually, I'm not going to go out. Yeah. And then I'd get out there and But what would make you go out this? I hate this uh needing to pay the bills No, seriously. D it worse And then go, oh, there's this voice. It's never as bad as you think it's gonna. Exactly. But then you get out there and you're not alone. You're not alone, but then you constantly have that self doubt. You're constantly going, I should' be here, I don't deserve to be here. So reverse that And you go on with all those doubts and you play an absolute fucking blinder and you are the linnchpin of the team. You play well, you interact well. And you win. ing. I'd love to have experienced that, did you know? What I love about you is your resilience Yep. You touched on it briefly earlier the financial troubles that you've had in the past. Talk us through that a little bit more. L I owed a lot of money through work, through COVID, through everything. But I spoke to the people owed money too. said to them, not, I'll p you back, I just need time. And if people, if you talk to people, And you talk things through rather than run and hide, you can get out of these holes, you can get out of these situations And we did W you up in front of your wife about it? She knew we didn't have money But light the weight of the deck on my shoulders I kept to myself I didn't share that She knew we didn't, she knew we was in bit of trouble I've never let Uh no If you know what I mean? I can remember we'd be driving somewhere and just depression would hit you But I don't stay depress for long because they not think What's the matter with you You can go out, you can earn money, you can work, you can do this, you can do that and I've always been able to talk to people And that was what I found. People peopleople message me now they say, look, I mean money troubleles what I do I said, don't run from it. Stand up to it. It's money at the end of the day. If you owe someone money It's money, it's nothing else, so you can get out of it. You know what I mean? You mentioned that you know, you'd get down and depressed about it, but it wouldn't be for long. No. What was the motivation to keep you going? Family You didn't want to let them down. I wanted to come. I can I You know what I mean? L I remember my dad, my dad probably struggled You know, he never let us see it So and a lot of men today, they do keep their problems in, they do keep them. Hidden I'm not saying that's a good thing But I'm not saying crying around your family is a good thing either. You've got to find that balance of to reach out to people and get help or to talk to people, but you got to talk at the right times. And I'd be borrowing money off my kids You know what I mean? Look, can I just pour it out? ll pay this bill and then Ill pay you back tomorrow Be at times they've had more money than me. It's There's that clpper Johnny in there.as it wasas it lost after he lost to Dave Allam, a lot of things went wrong before that fight. No excuses. He lost that's boxing that's ball. but his emotions came out of him. Jake, have you got that clip haveave you got that clip of Johnny afterfter his video I think we need to have a listen. Have you sent it to me? Here we go. Here we go Johnny boy I didn't know we had a flute with him,'s away for the ad Cay his attention of it, N not quite s We had no money. We had nothing. My dads That's business she owed three hundred and fifty grand. I's a work to get off. right. That's what that's what the fire is why going there That's nothing took my dad done And Yeah. That's where I get my fighting spirit from 'causeuse my dad's strong, my granddad's strong and I'll be back and I'll get up every single time. And it's people like Mark, Jimy Tibbs, Adam, Sonny, I'll be back. I'm upset now, but I'm good Yeah, he's's it was it was heartfelt that was That's like proper. It come out of him. emotions come out. I know he's lost the fight and he's upset, and it's all high It's all come out because first go to is to talk about you. Yeah me because he specifically about you Yeah and your dad. No. it was that's listen You don't like t the base, but he's a special young man. You know, he's my son You couldn't ask for a better smon than Johnny. He's a special man. Do you now start considering yourself as a role model, not just to your kids. But to so many other people that cant preach now. I don't like preaching to people. I don't like people that think they can preach to people. I think people have got to make their own way, As you've said, obviously yeah, if people are looking at me in that respect, then obviously they are, but I don't see myself as that. I really don't It's wild mate. I get why you feel like that. No, I don't because you really are. Yeah, but I don't feel like that because it's not up to me to be a role model for people. You know, Because a lot of people, as I say, I'm saying it's a of people be sitting there when they watch this guy, He's a fat gu. He's this, he's that You know what mean? So obviously I piss a lot of people offers inspire some people as well. in a quest to help you truly believe that you're a good role model. I really need to get through to you that you are a good role model and that you're willing to accept it. I've got some messages from your fans that I'd love you to see. You are the donwn of Chinese takeaways and there is no other way to deliver your fan messages then Look this. Fal and cookies. Brilliant. onene by one. so you've had these specially made These have been spepecially made. There's a lot of effort that's been put into these, John. Let's go sh start. Opening one by one. And read themessself and they're all legit Messages from your fans. I' open it. absolutely love everything about John. He's the perfect example of never giving up. It's It's a nice message. It Besautiful. It is good when you get nice messages. It' good. And there was so many to choose from. I always h on one. It's Chffy You're one of a few shiny lights on social media. I admire the sort of life you lead, the sort of values you promote. Your ability to show your softer side is what makes me admire you as a man and what a healthy masculinity looks like. Thank you That's a great message.'s lovely ye. It's a great message That is very good These are very good y. I'm very shocked You're saying shocked about the cookies, not shocked about No shock shocked She got these messages. Listen, I know I'll get some good messages. This fucking loads me. shock when you read a map like this You know I'm struggling at the moment, but I find your positivity and videoos so helpful. You make it easier to get up and be a man. You have no idea how much you help people like me That's a good one I like messages like that. These are very good. There's a plethora Last one, last, last one. Here we go in a time where young men need more positive male rootdles male role models John fits the moould Truly good bloke V very kind and these are from people that don't know you Yeah. That's that's what, you know, they don't know me. They don't know who I am Because what you see on the land is not always true You get a lot of fakeness online. So for people to see that and take the time to actually You know always we always say about haters People are hating taking the time to put a bad message on But these people, I think actually takes more effort to put a good message on. Yeah Do you know what I mean? So That's truly remarkable, Thankk you. How do those make you feel And that make me feel good. I do get a lot of messages like that and you do realise that you do, yes, you must be affecting some people in a good way which is good Affect a lot of people. Yeah. well. it's very nice to actually see it in black and white like that as well