Final Pottery Session And Closing

What could you show me, Michael? What are you interested in seeing, Joe? You reverberated inside me. Well, thank you. It was not on my bingo card that Michael Ball was gonna present his Why did I say that out loud? What's worse? Why did you write it down in the first place? You want to do what to my bottom? I couldn't like spank it. Hello and welcome to my office. This is Joe Marler Will Seeing Now with me, Dr. Joe Marla. This is the show where I open up the minds of Britain's best loved celebrities and give their thoughts a little tickle. With me as always is my research assistant, Jakey Boy. How are ya? Um very well indeed. Um I was having a chat with some mates over the weekend. Show off. I know, there's two of them. Yeah. And it was a conversation that made me think you might have an interesting answer to what yours would be. Yeah. We were discussing what our one-hour food challenge would be. Mine was, I really do believe that I could do 50 , maybe 60 KFC hot wings in an hour. That's three. 50 or 60 KFC hot wings because they're so small, they're so quick. That's happened in about five seconds. Then you've got three minutes of rest . Because if I'm trying to average one a minute, I've done three. Bang, bang, bam, bam, bam, bang. I do think I could do that. What do you reckon you could do in an hour ? So many out there that I could probably attempt. But the one I'm gonna back myself with is five pots of Pringles . Five pots in an hour. The family ones . Not like the mini ones. See what's on the airplane . She's there. She's got the map. I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe. I thought you I thought your your challenge would be a bigger than that. Have you ever had a chip So you have not lived a single day in my shoes. So how dare you sit there with the audacity to say that my challenge wasn't challenging enough. Did uh did I did I do that to your fifty or sixty KFC hot wings? No, I didn't I embraced it with friendliness. And pizzazz. Do you know what ? We're thinking about doing some bonus episodes, aren't we? We are thinking about doing some bonus episodes. Why don't we start setting ourselves some challenges? Shall we do it? A bit like that, yeah? Also, if you're listening or watching this and you've got a challenge for us , we'll bring it, bring it on. Fucking bring it on, actually. Well, slightly aggressive to the listeners. Fucking slash fewer. Because we'll do him. We'll do him on the bonus episodes. Yeah, we we'll well we'll try and do them. Well, I don't know what this man's food food challenge would be because he's less known for things going in his mouth than things coming out of his mouth. He's a professional sicker! Because he's a professional singer. Muchy muchy muchy much like that. You know how much I love a sing song. You are you're really good. I'm not really good. You just do it with confidence and after you've eaten food You have a very operatic voice You aren't too bad yourself And then you do this quiet one that is when someone dies . Very good . I'm very excited to introduce our next guest. Introduce them, who is it? He does singing. He does acting. Oh. He does musical theatre. Musical, musical, musical theatre, chimneys. He does all of it. It is Michael Ball. Michael Ball, everybody! Michael Ball, can you believe it? Michael Ball . I can't quite believe it. Michael's nearly here. Where is Michael? Where is he hiding ? He is hiding from us now . Once and for all, it's Michael B ull. Here he is, here he is, running up the stairs, and I am really scared in left and right and where And we had a note in from Michael Ball saying whatever you do, please do take musical theatre seriously, which I'm happy to happy to do. He said he said he doesn't like he doesn't like people taking a piss out of musical theatre. Well in no way do I feel we've done that and I hope to the Lord he's not hurt us. Do you know what it is? I don't hate musicals. I like the ones where there are songs spread out throughout those performance. It's the ones where every word is sung. Because we need to say the script and story. Everything, it just can't get away. That's that 's the ones I can't stand. It's like every word is sung. That's that's where I struggle with it. So what you're saying is we're not doing the entire session singing. Welcome, Michael Ball. Please have a seat. Say hello to Jake. Jake. Hello. And hi, I'm really glad to meet you. I was so shy, but now I'm really not. I'm not and it's that it's that looking to the distance of reassurance of like I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I think we need I think we need a minute. We need to nip this in the bar, don't we? I think we need a minute before we get him in, okay? Look, just compose ourselves, okay ? Janet is he here ? Please send him in goodbye Michael Ball everybody! Hey! Very nice to see you, lovely ma'am. Okay. Thank you. Janet, look after you nicely up. She was singing duets with me. She was a voice. She duetted with you. Yeah, we did a little fall of rain from Les Miz and then we defied some gravity. From the No, no, we literally just defined gravity. I can fly no I can't, but uh she made me feel I could. She gave me wings. She's lovely. Do you know who gives me wings? Who? My assistant Jake. Hello, Jake. How are you? What a pleasure, please. Jake, this is my honor to meet you. Yes. Oh, I know. I know it's Michael Ball. No, no, no, it's Michael Ball. I know, I know. That's why I said hello, Michael Ball. There's an interesting di- Oh God, I've got a poo bag coming out. Wow. Michael Ball, I did not expect that. Because there's been no suggestion of a dock anywhere near you, so I don't know if that's just for personal use. His personal use officer, a publisher. Okay, it's a poo bag. It was not on my bingo card . Um that Michael Ball was gonna present his dog poop . I'm gonna take this from his God knows what else is in it. This is great. Right, the first thing we ask every patient slash guest slash client, we're not sure what to call you. Client? Client works? Does it client works legally? We're sort of too deep into this to still be working this out. I think client's good, but just to stress, no money will change hands. What what do you mean? Well you want it back. What Yes . Okay. Are you ready? Yes I am. Okay, great. Full name. Michael Ashley Ball. So that's your real name? Yeah. It's not like your stage name. What who would change it to Ball ? What's wrong with Ball ? And I say that without smirking. I didn't smirk. Did did you ever consider having a stage name or did you just thought of such a fantastic name as it is? It's it's I don't think it's a fantastic name. Michael Ball . God you're like Brian Blessed. I love you. That couldn't be a bigger company. Well I know I know Brian. Yeah, I know Brian really well. You know Brian Blessing. Very well. Fuck off. Yes. Oh my god. Oh I can tell you stories . He's just he's awesome. Star sign. Cancer. Oh, this is good. Why are you a Cancerian? Because I was born in June the twenty-seventh . Didn't choose a name, didn't choose a birthday. Those are those some things he's just born with. That's why I'm a Cancerian joker. Occupation . I would say, I would say, uh, an entertainer. Cool. Cool. Actor slash I've got there's a lot of slashes but primarily I'd like to think I'm a singer . Favourite musical ? Oh god. Uh that I've been in or that I've ever seen. We'll go with favourite musical you've been in. Uh it's down to two. Hairspray and Sweeney Todd. Oh . Two diametrically opposed characters. Yeah. And I do one after the other. And just the best things a really fertile creative period of my life. What's the difference between a musical and a play? There are music in it. There are a lot of the answers will just be that short. Yeah. There are some. And that's fine. Because he will ask questions. I mean I can expand on it. No, you're good. You're yeah, that's great. There is music in it, Joe. It's it's in the name. Why'd I say that out loud? Why'd I say that out loud? That's right, Joe, we got you. Why why do you what's worse? Why did you write it down in the first place. I can assure you it was not written down. What's the highest note you can reach? Oh. Well the end of a. Well as you're doing it. No. The end of of uh song that I had a hit with Love Changes Everything was a B flat, so hitting that twice nightly, four times on a matinee, at the end of Act One and Act Two, because I'm a baritone. Baritone is is a tenor is normally the highest. Um so I have with a fair wind behind me and occasionally done a top C, but that's not comfortable. I probably couldn't get that note. What's the highest note you can hit, Joe? Can you do a falsetto? Full set? Yeah, always how do you define this? It's a head voice. So you don't want to hear any of my fucking head voice. So you either do it full voices I want nothing to do with head from you. Always worrying from the doctor apparently as well. Thought I was here to get help from you. Chest vo ice. His chest voice in his belt. So you have a belt, which is ma chine. That's a belt. And then you have a head voice. So it's more delicate. I dream the dream of time combin . That's head voice. Okay. I I dreamed a dream . I dreamed a dream. Wow. That's really good, Nisha. I think you're really good. I love your eyes as well. Oh. Favourite way to relax? Uh watching telly. Oh you're a telly lover. Oh I love telly. Okay. Yes, I just watch I love watching telly. Obviously traitors was the greatest you must be bored. I would love it. I would absolutely love it. Let's make that. In fact, in um uh when we uh were touring last year in Australia with the the lay Mizcast. And so we decided we'd play traitors. Brilliant. And every workplace, no matter where you go. It was I went I had some I had to have a hip replacement when I came back. It's a whole other story. Because of that. Not because of that, but but that's why I stayed with the show, because I went and had it looked at and they said you can't walk. It's buggered. Totally buggered. Buggered. But I would kept with a cane going to the side of the stage and then came on and just girded my loins and did the show did the oh I love that wait sorry what girded my girded my loins but one of the reason why I stayed is because we were playing traitors and I was saying I sweaty you,'re in agony, but you need to see this through. Yeah. Right. Sweaty. Did you win? Got I got fucking recruited on the last day. Look at what it does to people, even the pretend versions. Oh, it is such a magnificent programme. Do you consent to being analyzed by someone who's not a real doctor? Yeah. Wow. That's really quite impressive. The speed at which you agreed to. Yeah, that's I'm swam here . Michael. Yeah. You can sing. Thank you. We get it. All right. No, no. Won't do it again. No. No. No, please do it. Please do. Please, please do. But what are you doing outside of music? Not the West End shows, not presenting on radio two, not recording albums or touring. Yeah. What are you doing with your time? All time? This is this is I don't do enough. I think I think we need to explore that. Okay. We do. I do I do I mean I I I do all the cooking and the shopp ing for the food. I walk the dogs and I watch the tell. I think we need to find you a hobby. We need a little bit more. Do we think is that a fair assessment from me as the doctor and you I think it can be very enriching is sort of as a broader sort of tapestry of your life. Stamp collecting or maybe we should explore that. I don't know. I think that's that's where we where we start. Okay. Let's find you a new hobby. Because uh the research tells me hobbies lower anxiety, strengthen social ties, and extend life expectancy. That's from the analys of behavioral science. Annals of B annals. This says it's from the analys of behavioral science. No, that's that's just a hobby we could explore. This is the book is a the book is annals. Or is it spelt wrong? It's got two N's in it. Annal. An now as opposed to anal , which is pertaining to your bottom. You want to do what to my bottom? I don't want to do particularly I quite like spank it. Let's see if that's a let's see if that is a is that a hobby? Hobby Right, Michael Ball . Let's begin . You are multi-talented, you're an entertainer. You know, you want to singing ac,tinging, present, all this lot. But where did it start? How did you how did you learn how to sing? Did you go to like singing school with a s? No, I've never had a singing lesson. You're self taught. Yeah. That can't be true. Okay. Look, the way you just sung in the intake questionnaire was fucking moving. You've moved me. You reverberated inside me. Oh, thank you. And you haven't been taught that. No well, I learnt from listening. What did you listen to? I listened to so there was a period in in uh uh my family's life we where my dad, 1970, uh so I'm eight, uh we moved to South Africa for three years. And in those days, full apartheid sanctions, there was no television, there was huge censorship. So we had to make our own entertainment. And my dad and mum rented a house there and the woman whose house it was had this huge vo library of records and loads of them were of the classic uh American songbook artists, you know, the Sinatras and your Fitzgeralds' and all those extraordinary singers and loads of like Broadway and West End musical soundtracks. And I'd sit and listen to these and I loved them. And then so you then start to to sing along with the songs. My mum then took up piano again. So she she'd sit round and I'd then sing all those old songs with her because they only had those songbooks there. So you listen to the great singers and you think, why is that moving me? Why do I like this? And you try and and emulate them. What was your big break as a performance? Kind of two. I I suppose the really big one is Les Mires. I was a year out of drama school. How old are you there? 22, 22, 23, yeah, 22. And I was doing uh the big break was going up for an open audition for uh the Gilbert and Sullivan musical um or oper etta , uh called Pirates of Pen Sounds. They had these four stars in it, and then the young lead, I went up with about six hundred other people for an open audition and ended up with a lead in that. Did that in Manchester and you don're not shitting yourself. No, at that point I'm fearless. I'm absolutely fearless. The fear came later. And then from there, Cameron Macintosh saw me uh and they were casting Les Mizes. Les Mise was about to happen at the Royal Shakespeare Company. Trevor Nun directing, I was obsessed with him as a director, and they asked me down to audition and I ended up in the original cast of that and that was a huge I mean You'd arrived. Yeah. I always thought it was really cutthroat and like nervous as shit to go and do. But the way you've spoken about it, I was like, yeah, I went and did this, got this, I'd just went into this. I was in Lay Miz, I'm the next big thing. Yeah. And that was my downfall, I think, because I'm doing Lay Miz and I got ill and I then s lost all my confidence. I suddenly developed anxiety and panic attacks and um would find myself on stage not being able to breathe. I don't know if you've ever experienced them and having come from nowhere, having been supremely confident to suddenly having this where you're that body outside that looking at yourself, going, you don't know what you're doing, you don't know what the next words are. You're gonna cock this up for everybody. So that you then have the fight or flight and you're clinging onto a chair. That would turn to be getting onto the tube to go into work and having to get off and come home and call in sick. So I left the show. I mean it was huge. It was the biggest show going . And um I just said, I can't do this. How did you get to the bottom of that then? How did you work about it? Right. Did you understand what was going on? Did people around you understand what it was? They just thought he's lost it. I had a breakdown. Yeah. And he's lost it. And uh what a shame. Uh but Cameron, God bless him, the the producer, also was a producer of Phantom. So I left for nine months and he said to me, right, we're recasting Phantom, the role of Raoul, the three leads in Phantom, Phantom, Christine and R Raoaoul. ul's the young sort of hero. You'd be perfect. Come and meet Android Weber. You either shit or get off the pot. Because you know, this is a th you won't get another opportunity like this. She will get off the box. Similar with the gird girded loins. Girded my loins. That's exactly what I did. I girded my loins on the shitting pot. Yes. Thank you. And I went in and I met Andrew, Lloyd Web er , did the audition, they offered it to me, and I thought I'm just gonna have to deal with this. And I did. Joe, when you were playing rugby, did you were you ever sort of like in the middle of a game, you got you've got thousands and thousands of people watching. That that feeling of panic and then seizing up, was that ever something you experienced? Oh yeah, loads. Really? But then I would just Because it's so physical that if you are seizing up and have another. Okay, can I can I just take that back first? Yeah. When you're in the tunnel. Yeah. And you're waiting to run on. Yeah, I wouldn't go out. So you have no idea what's ahead of you. You know what you've got to do. That's the feeling, isn't it? Yeah. And then you're so you're in there and you go out with your mates. I go s I'm out there scared shitless. And I'd always be last out because I'd be like, actually I'm not gonna go out. Yeah. And then I'd get out there and I'd be like, oh what would make you go out? Needing to pay the bills. No, seriously. No, it worse . And then go, oh there's this voice. It's never as bad as you think it's gonna be. No, exactly. But then you get out there and you're not alone. You're not alone, but then you constantly have that self-doubt. You're constantly going, I shouldn't be here, I don't deserve to be here. So reverse that, and you go on with all those doubts and you play an absolute fucking blinder and you are the linchpin of the team um you play well you interact well and you win best feeling i'd i'd love to have experienced that did you not Right, uh in order to find out this new hobby, we're gonna use science. Okay. Best way we can do that is using the Michael Bull bag . So much thought has gone into this. Bloody hell. A lot of thought goes into science. Jake, talk us through this method of science. Yes, Micha Michelael we've got the ball bag right there on the desk. A dozen balls with a dozen hobbies on them for you to maybe experiment with. Maybe we'll even try one live on the show. We're not actually live but it sounds good. Um do you wanna just just let's let's we'll start slow and then maybe we'll try one. Uh if you want to pick out a ball, if you read the number, I can see on my shop. Bingo calling. Okay, well let's see if it comes out. What number have we got? Number two. Number two, I look on my chart, it says Wordle. Wordle might be something you want to try. If you wanna pick another ball out, what one's that? Number four. Number four. Pokemon Go. Ever tried Pokemon Go? No. What's wrong with Pokemon? What is Pokemon Go? Well, it's funny that it's been brought up. Wait, do you actually play Pokemon Go yet? Why have you brought that up as a hobby? Genuinely, we just we just wrote some hobbies and put number one. That's not a hobby. Do you know how it works, Michael? No, I have no idea. You you isn't isn't it where you go around and there are creatures? So Pokemon used to be this world where you collect the cars, then collect the creatures, pocket monsters, Pokemon. Okay. Um and then Fuck I! Isn't that what that means? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Pokemon Pocket Monsters Pokemon Wow Everyday's learning day isn't it um in the old days you collect the cards show them with your friends but then there was this game where they put them in the wild and you'd run around with your phone trying to scam it. Actually what we need is something that keeps us in our phones even more than a lot of people outdoors. It can also get you in trouble sometimes, Michael. W Whyhy?? I was semi-accused. Have you done this? Of yeah, I used to like it a lot. I hear semi-accused of um having an affair because on my way back from training one day, there was this Charizard, this rare Charizard. It's one of the mobsters. And instead of going straight home, I went a different way. And I pull up in this cul de sac and I'm like battling trying to get this Charizard to come. With me. And then my wife rings me rings me and she goes, Hi yeah, how are you getting on? I was like, yeah, alright. She was like, Oh where are you? I was like, oh I'm in Buxted. I'll I'll be home, I'll be about 20 minutes. She was like, okay, see you then burrow . Get back. And she was like, how was it then? I was like, yeah, it was alright, fine, boa. She was like, uh were you really in Buxted when I rang you? I went, uh yeah. Why? She was like, oh 'cause uh a friend of hers had rang her up and seen me down this cul-de-sac, looking a bit dodgy, doing this on my phone thingy and told her she was like you weren't you're up there doing that what were you doing there? And I was like, What? What's worse having an affair or looking for a hero's hard That is exactly the thing. Do I tell her the truth? Or do I say I've met someone else, but I still love you. So it was like, what the fuck has got on here? And that was the sort of the end of my Pokemon days. So thank you for bringing that up, Jake, as a hobby. It's the Michael Bullbag. He does amazing things. It's just a random ball bag, is it? Oh fuck shame. Careful. It's a black ball and it's number five. Number five. Stand-up comedy. That could be a new hobby. We could that's that this is actually one we could try now. Stand-up comedy is a hobby. Why don't we see both try it? We can see what give why don't you give each other your best one liner one liner jokes uh um well yes no this is important for you Michael why because we're trying to find your new this isn't a hobby this that this would be work for me But as you alluded to earlier, you said your work is your hobby. Okay, so this whole premise is erroneous. Well, we don't say it out loud, we just think it. That's a rule on this show. Anyway, uh why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why did the chicken cross the road. Get to the idiot's house . Second part. Second part. Knock knock. Who's there? The chief good though. So sorry. You did that really well. Hold it. Hold it. Yeah, but you didn't need to because I was there ahead of you and it was funny. But the bit the the bit earlier when I said idiot, I was like, oh, should I change that? I shouldn't call him an idiot. And I don't mean it an idiot, but it's it's just a comedy that's but that's what why it's funny. And you did find it funny. Yes, I did. Thank you so much. I'm sorry. This is healthy male friendship. What's uh what's brown and sounds like a bell ? Dun . Joe, let's remember how supportive Michael was . Really? Thank you, mate. Thank you. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Mm-hmm. I've never really understood that. Do you like me to explain it? Yes, please, Michael Ball. I think they're trying to say that the older you get, the more stuck in new ways you are and you won't change and you can't learn something new which I think is bullshit . Or as they would probably say. Dung Um but getting older is something that you tackle in your latest song. Do you want to tell us a bit more about your latest song? Yeah, I will. It's called Vintage. It's on the album Glow. Glow. Wh Whichich you are doing. No, that's my compliment to say to you. Too late. Got in there first. You're the glower. In the song, you say you've been around the block and could show me some stuff. Yeah. What could you show me, Michael? What are you interested in seeing, Joe? Oh . What made you want to do this song? Okay. There was a very famous uh model actress singer called Jane Birkin. Do you know who Jane Birkin is? Invented the uh the thing that looks like a it's like a fake hairy vagina. That's a Merkin. Ah. That's a Merkin. So it wasn't. It wasn't her. Okay, fine. Got wires crossed. What she did was inspired the making of one of the most exclusive and fabulous handbags by Ermes called the Birkin bag. Okay. Now I knew Jane. She's no longer with us. She do you remember the song Je t'aime? Moi non plus. Je t'aime. Je t'aime That was her. That was her and her husband, Serge Gainsberg. Right. Anyway, she had this bag, this Birkin bag. They used they designed it for her because she was next to the the head of Her maise and he said she said, I want a bag like this. The only other one they designed for was Grace Kelly. Yeah. The Grace Kelly bag. So this Birkin bag, it's now the most sought-after bag. She had a bit of an old tut one. You know, she j most people revere them. She just used it like a knockabout everyday handbag. When she passed, they sold it at auction for ten million . Yeah. That's that's not a small amount. No. No. For a handbag. That's quite quite a lot. A lot. Yeah. So I thought that was hilarious and slightly mad. And then there's that whole thing that things aren't any longer old and second hand, they're vintage. And they're pre-owned and they're pre-loved. Yeah. And that can relate to people. Yeah. So that was where the inspiration for that song came from. And I thought, you know, you're you're you're what? fifty ? Uh so you probably I know how old you are. I know exactly how old you are. I know when your birthday is. And when you found out were you surprised. We surprised. Sure. What the fuck is this? What has this podcast turned into? Let's just get well, I tell you what, let's just get guests in from different walks of life and then just sit there going, I don't think you're this old. I think you're this old. Now I'm closer to you. Well, yeah, go on. It's not wrinkly. Right. So it's good . You've got good skin. Yeah. But you have an older demeanor. An older demeanour? Okay, let's get a hunchback and update no not in the th uh uh a a sense of of having lived and uh and and seen things and done things. So you have a wisdom beyond your years. Back to vintage. Back to vintage. So um and we w I'm sure we were the same when we were growing up that we think, oh, we've invented all this stuff. We're the first people doing it, our parents haven't got a clue. And it's now as you get older that you realize you've got the wisdom . And also, if you're a nice person, you want to share that wisdom. Um and d don't write off older people. No. You know, because they really know yeah awful lot . Right, Michael. In the interest of finding a new hobby, me and Jake have got one final exercise for you. I want you to discover a new hobby. Great. So Jake has made a dartboard with a range, a wide range of hobbies on it for you to choose from. I want to reveal to you the board of hobbies . Ah . Um and when I say hobbies, yeah , clearly it it's just one hobby by the looks of it. Yeah. Isn't that right, Jake? Yes. Um just one hobby then on the board of hobbies. Uh yes. Well I'm didn't think I was in charge of budgets. Um so I basically had a bit of a bit of money to buy enough props for one hobby. So we we sort of strong-armed into it just being one hobby. I know where you're going with it. Um yes. And the whole point was to have the board of hobbies. I know. And then Michael's gonna throw a dial. We li I I just I had enough money to buy this Potter's wheel. Well, I think just to justify it and the fact that we've spent all the budget on it. Michael, do you mind you you will only need one, mightn't you? There's a marker there. So for the audio listener, um we have a wonderful massive dartboard and um it's covered in pottery. It was gonna be covered in lots of different hobbies, but we really did only have enough budget for a Potter's wheel, so we're going to throw the dart anyway. In a way, darts might become the new hobby as well. Interesting. Yeah. Good angle on that. Take her away then, please. It's Potter y. Right, just hey sorry. Sorry, he's actually missed the 20 pottery I thought it wouldn't, it would hit it and then come out. Just one more time. for a while He's covered in pottery stickers and he's managed to miss no I haven't missed not miss but by the little gap there it doesn't say pottery . Because I thought if I hit the thing it would not stick in. Yeah sure . Hit it. Michael, when you're ready. Now he has missed. I mean there's no arguing there. That is the complete miss of the entire board. We can't, we can't. Right, you can't write it. Oh , dead. It won't be Let's get set for pottery then, Michael . Michael Ashley Ball . Let's pot . How are you feeling about that? I mean uh Jake. I I can't apologize enough. You see y No, you really can't. I'm sorry to do this in front of a client, but you told me you've blown the budget on the potting wheel. Yes. And that's why we only had one hobby on the board of hobbies. And the clay as well. Yeah, okay. That is the world's smallest potting wheel. It's pathetic. It's it's pathetic pottery. Yeah. This hobby, if you do choose to take it up, will be known as pathetic potting. Size isn't everything. It really it was. Have you got any thoughts about what you'd you'd like to make? Um a a a a potter's wheel, so a pot. I was thinking more of a cup. A cup? Like a like a friendship wheel. A vessel. of some kind Yeah. Okay. A cup of friendship. Okay. Should we fill it to the brim with the bond you've made. So artistic and shall we turn it on? Yeah. Do you want to put your hand on it? Okay . Can I just twiddle the knob? Uh we'll just do the pottery first. Okay, we'll start slow, shall we? Okay. Just keep keep your hands over it, Michael. Okay. And just keep just keep trying your best. That's all we're asking you for. Just all right. Just buy into buy into the method. This is a scientific method. Um you're doing so well here. Yeah. I yeah, I actually think you could do with bit of a hand actually. Keep your hands and eyes. Oh for fuck's sake. So the listener Joe is now behind Michael. Let 's come in also create the couple friendship. You know what this feels like? What does it feel like to me that? Feels like real love . Looks like real friendship. Yeah. Do you know what this immediately makes me want to do? I don't know. What? My darling I've hungered for you gotta rub my hands for your touch al ong Let's do a big finish God spe ed your Love to me . Special. Very special. Very special. I think that's a wonderful moment to end our session on. Very special. I definitely feel like I've connected with you. I know more about you. Yeah. I know more about the real Michael Bull. Yeah. The real Michael Bull. I've in a strange way I feel cleansed. Cleansed. And I feel that I've got to know you. Before you leave, we also make you a badge. Yes. So you can remember because I get to keep the cup the friendship cap. What have we gone for for badge? Well, I think we all enjoyed the Michael Bull badge so much that we are going to give you to take away the Michael Ball badge. The Michael Ball badge? Mm-hmm. It's more than I expected. Yeah. I'd I'd like to give you your bull bag back. Thank you very much. But I want to keep your bull bag. To go with your uh To go with the friendship cup. I was gonna call it something else. Shut up. The bull bag to go with your dirty arsehole . Beautiful. Sorry about that, Janet. He is it has been one filthy, filthy session. Um do you mind uh coming to collect Michael Ball please? Thank you. Michael Ball ever,ybody Thank you. Please. Janet will beat you up. Do you want this back? No, please keep it on. Thank you very much. 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