Love Languages and Personal Quirks

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Call one eight hundred five two six seven seven three six to learn more. or visit trmphiaradio. com Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. 'twas a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast An offer you can feast on. sell your car today on Carvana Pick up these Mailifly Let's talk about Pay Roni's disease, or PD 's not widely talked about. And some men may feel reluctant to bring it up But it's more common than you'd think PD can happen when scar tissue builds up under the skin of the penis, causing a curve or a bump during an erection that for some men, may lead to pain during intimacy and impact mental health A trusted urology specialist can help diagnose PD and walk you through your options, including non surgical treatment Visit talkaboutpD. com J the two of us He two of us You and I Or is it or new? We can't even sync, aren't we? who sink, huh? You want to come in my s not're not we're not in sync. You'dit. I said we're kind of in sync and you said to you do I want to come in your snink I meant come as in Just come in my sink. and what we're going to do? emphasis on you guys. come. How big do you thinkink Well It's a decent sink. Yeahah. Well I reckon I could bath you in my sink. You or you could not baath me. Okay, Challenge number two. All right, fine, let's get the raad raceer up.ace Let's get the race, challenge. bathe me in your sink. Yeah, I'd lucky bathe in your sink. Okay, f, challenge me You got a mix the taer or are they two separate? What'd you mean As in lightight When you turn the tap It's a tap? Yeah. so you turn the tap on and you find a temperature and it's going like that or do you have a hot and cold and you're trying to sort of like manage the temperature through a mix of those. Which type of tap do you have in your sink? Do you It's a normal one. it comes with water. Yeah, o. All right, All right. S right. So how how do you change the temperature in the sink putut the hot on Do you have two taps hot and cold and then your So we finally the temperure Or do you have a single lever that pushes a slightly more towards hot or slightly more towards cold I've got two taps, you Prat, stop Stop explaining unnecessary information to me. I was asking you, you were explaining unnecessary information to me. I wasn't. I was staring at you gormlessly, which is your favourite comment about me We're meant to have a nice episode about the two of us today, but I don't think want to do it anymore. What? I thought we werere going be one of the great double acts. Martley and Dast Dast Ly, yeah, that's a good one. Dick Van Dyke and Sean Van Dyke Salmon Mark from X factor. Yeah. I really, really enjoy you. A really? Yeah Okay likeike You make me belly laugh. So hard I love being around you because I love being at no point. Am I comfortable? with knowing what's going to come out of your mouth. I love. I'm always on edge, but in a good way. L you're constantly edging me. Wow F feels like I'm back in the kitchen sink. I love when you come to work. When we come to work and you come into the office and I feel like my sort of metaphorical dog's tails just wagging I feel like my tails just wag again and wag again when I see you. What is it have to be metaphorical Well, because otherwise sounds like I'm getting an erection If I say my tail starts wagging when you come in, then you'll beinking it's my front tail, not my back tail And I promise you, it's my backtail You call just You call your dick front tail. Well not That's mental I can't believe you've followed up my compliment of I love being around you so hardd to Thank you. I get so excited with my front tail Well, look, we've had some lovely moments over the months. and I've been told that the producers have compiled a nice episode of you and me hanging out. So I think we're going to sit back and I mean we can't watch it back. That' be a bit much of wouldn't it, But people can watch it back and hopefully enjoy some of the good times that we've had together Times roll timimes keep on turning. A p pty Th Bolling, Blling, roll, rolling, roll the VT Does work It does work Hi Welcome to my spark off I'm dribbling A Hello and welcome to my office. This is Joe Malla A now with me, Dr. Joe Mala This is the show where I ask a celebrity if I can have a route around their mind, sort a few things out, and then be off on my merry way With me as always is my trusty research assistant, Jake Hello sir, W take wonder. Ah you always undermine me. You're like that baddy from thed. You're like the baddy from that film with the family who are all superheroes. You're like the baddy from the Incredibles. You're the underminer. Like I said, one take wonder We have had a few multiple takes of the intro before. No natural. No haven't Never had a dribble The driil is here The Gibles was new. What do you think about that start though? So to get the energy up, I's going going straight into it. I that was good. but I think that that's certainly an energy in the room. It that agitated my salival glans I think the table would agree, wouldn't it? I don't haveave you ever agitated your saliva saliva glands? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I ever see any sort of like saturated fat with cheese on it, up, my salival glands get very sort of like Pavlo Pavlo's dog. Sorry, a saturated fat with cheese on it? Oh, ye, that's just saturated fat with saturatedat on it isn't Are you okay? I don't know What's new in your world, Jam? What's new in your world? I asked you first. I have nothing new in my world. I got nothing Nothing Nothing. But I think I know there's something I think I know there's something new in your world Yeah, ye, there is. What you got? Wow! He's active. And I'm wearing trainers because I'm walking a lot as well. What's all this then? why have you got a bike? Wh are you walking? Well'ust try to lose a bit of weight, getet a bit healthy lose that saturated fat. I was going to say, I'd quite like to see you on a bike What would do can bring me great pleasure. Why You don't think I can ride a bike, dear? I just think seeing you on a bike. would just give me such a great sort of faith in the power of physics and engineering Well Be you're massy. Beuse you are you're like musclely massive. I'm not calling you like I'm saying matter how you word it sorry, this can't be the first time you're realizing that you're fucking massive. The bitch that you're emphasizing I'm not upset about I'm upset about, o, the wonder of physics. Thatd be the tripe of engineering, it would be to see you what There you go again, to see you try and hide it Yeah I'm not finding it you go Oh the triumph of Egineering. That's such an offensive thing to say. Is it Allright So where are you riding a bike I've only been out on it once How to go mean H' it go. Did fall off didn't fall off. I you a door on the back Oh It alost like carry was. That' so sweet. You was screaming the entire time. telling me to go slower. How fast are you going? I I had to walk kick at the end to get off and walk so excited about your new bike. and then you just walk in it like just lear for you We could all we have all got a bike now. let's go out for a bike ride as a family Obviously I've got the e bike. justust to help me out. It's an e bike. Keep this quiet.al about talkal about wonder of engineering We're gonna need a little bit extra up for this guy. Yeah, but I am carrying too. What do you mean? She's not a small bit of kid. My four year old. Yeah, I don't think the four year old's the bitest makaking a. You'd be surprised. I don't think she's tipping the balance is she?'s carrying this unit up that hill. Why do I tell you stuff? L la Mudy muchudy, muchudy, much like that. You know how much I love a sing song? You you're really good. I am not really good. You just do it with confidence. And after you've eaten food You have a very operassic voice. You want to b yourself And then you do this Qiet F That is when someone dies That me k I'm very excited to introduce our next guest. Introduce them, who is it? He does singing. He does acting. Oh? He does musical theater. Musical, musical, musical theater chimneys He does all of it. it is Michael Ball. Michael Ball everybody. Michael Ball can you believe it? Michael I can't quite believe it. Michael Where is Michael? Where is he hiding? He is hiding from us now Once and for all, it's Michael Ball. Here he is, here he is running up the stairs and I am really scared in left and right and will I sleep tonight? The Michael Ball And we had a note in from Michael Ball saying Whatever you do, please do take musical theatre seriously, which I'm happy to happappy to do He said he said he doesn't he doesn't like people to take bitiss up a musical theory. Well, in no way do I feel we've done that. And I hope to the Lord. He's not heard us Do you know what it is? I don't hate musicals. I like the ones where there are songs spread out throughout those performance. It's the ones where every word is sung Because we need to say the script and story, everything it just can't get away. That's the ones I can't stand. It's like every word is sung. that's where I struggle with it. So what you're say is we're not doing the entire session. Singing. Welcome, Michael Ball. Please have a seat. Say hello to Jake Hello and hi. I'm really glad to meet you. I was so shy, but now I'm really not I'm. Not And it's it's like looking to the distance of reassurance of love I'm not, I'm not. I'm No I know. Your mum, Kevil, what about your mum Well, you got to meet her today I didn't think it would ever happen. I didn't think it would happen. And then suddenly, I mean, what a debacle. Basically she'd locked herself out shame had no well basically needed a spare key. so o you got a spare key Well, it's my family home. It's my home. You don't live there anymore, D? I don't live there anymore, but you told me a key for your home to get in No way. Way? Is that what you do? So when your kids fly the nest they won't have house key anymore.ope not there joking They're as soon as they Yeah, as soon as they've decided to leave All the best to you ve Grown up, they've flown the nest, ye? Yes. Hey,' We finally get some time together. Yes, Like me and my wife. Yes. It's like, who I on the fucking kitchen floor. Yes I don't want the kids walking in on that. No No. Do want me? No, I mean, I don't want anyone walking. I don't really want our podcast listeners walking intoo that in you know audio for they have I be different No, no, it's good It's good. It's good. No, the kid So the kids have flown the nest That's me in Daisy timeim now Oh saying in case you want to a on the kitchen floor. Well played. really well played. Yeah good. Oh You know, that's me and Daisy time. We're back together. If we want to If we want to walk around the Kitchen naked Oh You know, have dinner in the but Dinner in the bar. Dinner in the bath. I've been in the the I think what's happened is.in There's a few ideas. Dinner in the buff Dinner butt naked And also maybe dinner in the bath. I think we're all swimming around your head, but you got so excited at the thought of being be able to do any of them that all of them combined. E end aboutving dinner at someone's h. And that is what's ending up happening. That's what's about to happen in the end of. I wouldn't have had a dinner in the but. Oh had dinner in the but. And I wouldn't be able to do that if my kids still had keys to my house. You know that's why it confuses me. It was a hill I was gonna die on, but I don't want the keys to anyone's house anymore. I don't want the keys to my own house anymore if it means I have to walk in eating dinner in the butt You got. We're going out for dinner, We're staying in.' breingaking in tonight Wh. So you're in a great mood today. Yeah, you are. Yeah I am. I am. I with you, right? I'm all right. Yeah, yeah. I'm here, right I? At work? Oh again. Oh right. Okay. You a morning person? W What does that mean?'re morning person? Do you like the morning you have a mning routine? What's your mning routine? or gap. That is a sign of someone who does not mning Whenever do you do that when youre trying to make your day feel busier, including in what you've done in the list of the day So got up, that's one. As soon as you conclude that on the list, you've sort of proven you've reallyready done that much today. He's got his phone out. This is my routine of the day. You got have written down I wake up. So this Right Do that thanks for my alarm? Is that the MGM line It is the ab jabl. Yeah You wake up to that every day. I wake up to my phone on my radiator. which is away from my bed and it's a lion roaring, the MGM lion roaring So it encourages me to get up out of bed so I don't just press sooze and then fall asleep in. Th then you feel like I I have to get up and I feel like the lion you know Ready to seize the day. Carpe Dam the day.. Carpe D. Seize the day. You can do it in English seize it It's what I wakeke up to Well I'll wake up to that For the audio list now that is. Like I said every morning because I'm so bad at getting up I set an alarm every five minutes. What do you think that for a half an hour? What do you think that does to your causol levels, mate makes me wake up with incredible amount of stress. Yeah And then what do you think that does to a parasympathetic nervous system for the rest of the day? That's the most syllables you ever use in the word Well,'s not what you want, mate, but you're the one we caught usself running through your vein, T true? They say that does not it doesn't do it can't be doing good things for you. You need something calming, like green sleeves Wake up to Greenens slee and Or the Harry Potter them Either one. either one I feel closer to you than I ever have today. Why, you're the same distance we already. Emotionally close to you, Joe. Emotionally close. Why Be of our journey in together Are you telling people about this? Yeah? bumped into J jo on the tube today? You didn' anyone' know that to me, did you? Well, I't, I literally didump into you. The the tube the doors about to close and I was running, and I was like, Okay, I'm on. and then the momentum just carried me. so I sort of slid into your arms and I was like, All right, Daddy? I mean boss I mean Jo And you were like, get your hands off me now. What didd you think the people on that tube were thinking in that moment? Be it wasn't We've obviously just started working together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I picture that it wasn't overly clear that we were mates or Well, no because an item or should be doing that It was quite a rum comy because I just the momentum of running for the tube and I slid and I could see it happening. I was sort of I mean, I was just nestled nestled into you, I mean for quite a some time resting on the Yeah you were. the bare leg coming out of your shorts. And then we got off Not where we go. We got we got off the chube When we got off the tube, do you remember the guy who did say something who had been watching the whole thing? Oh he said he said Is that you went? If you're who I think you are You did very well ed looking around and I was like, does happen or not? He like? And you were like Not like that, it doesn't know. If you're who I think you are You did very well indeed Well Congratulations He did it What for The big one. Pepsy Max? No. You ever been on the Pepsy Max And also a Pepsi M. F first time I use the seabomb Peby Max is the big one The big one? Well, you brought it up. Yeah, I'm talking about a big achievement. Boy are you talking about? The big one, the Pepsi Max at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. D't know what those. What? Never been to Black. Me and you are going out on the town and the town being Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Really? Yeah, I'll even ride you on a donkey So you goes to this massive ride, you go on it and then what happens But you get off it? No That's how rides work. Yeah, no, no, God God God God God. It was craz. was it I indulgeed your anedote that you brought up What? First time I ever said the se bomb was on the Pepsi Max. Oh, tell me about it. Well, I went on it and then I said the C bomb then. So I trying to have a fucking like Our conversation with the caricature of a teenager is ridiculous You brought it up. I'm saying well done and the big onees the big achieve You' saying it's about something else. The big one the big achievement. What did you bring up? What You are not now Joe Manala, you're BAFA awward winning Joe Mala. I'm not a BAFA awward winning Joe Bayer. No, you're a BFA awward winning Joe Mala Celebrity traiters won a bFa this week. Yeah, well around them. Yeah, well done you mate. It wasasn't me. You fuckking were. You in it more than anyone else? I wasn't, yeah. You were in it Lones. We're only doing this because you were in it. Oh yeah. Yeah ye, it wasn't me. was it? It was it, then people that make it. I think congratulations anyway, and thank God it won the BATa because that sort of gives us a little bit more legitimacy for doing this as well, doesnn't it Jake, it is a big week for you, isn't it, though Final week of what Final week of Saturday Night Live, UK. SNL UK. Yeah. I've been there Sur I watching you on that m. Oh, thank you, mate. I've love doing it. But nothing brings me more joy than spending time with you, brother. Is that true? Beuse I was actually at television center the other day, wasn't I? And I' text you to see if you're about And it took you seven or eight hours to get back to me saying, Yeah, I'm here, brother. Where you at? It's funny that you say that, isn't it? Because I remember actually asking you if you wanted to do something with me a while ago, and I texted you, Are you free on this day in June? And you never got back So What's worse seven hours before you get back to a friend or never getting back to a friend Let Let's put it to our lovely team. Gys, give me a cheer if you think it's worse to take seven hours to respond to a text Give me a cheer if you think it's worse just to never respond to a text. Iuck a little fkinger for anything. T, I'm a new category, Give me a cheer if you work on the show, but don't engage in any sort of vocalised referendums Yeah, I think that's the worst one. Bloody hell's going on over it Y. Yes. I think I'll be interested to do that brother Who we've actually what did you say? I said I do love you there, brother In what way. I just feel like I've really It's been a very special thing to do this but also make probably one of my closest friends in the world in you Yeah, no one's ready for that were they? Yeah, You're up with that Can you handle that ome You can't you can't handle that. All right, Take it, Do what you can with it I think it's okay to tell someone what you want from them and what I want from you is I don't know, a little bit offfection but that's okay Um And on that note, I suppose oh whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa, You don't come to this side of the office very often Wow Oh wow Wow, do you know while I've got you here on the subject of asking people what you want from them We'd actually like you, the viewer and listener, to do something as well for us. And I think it's okay to ask for what you want We want you to help us grow this S by liking By subscribing. Yeah on YouTube. On YouTube. Yeah and commenting because we've built a we'll see you now show. We're doing something here guys, We're building a community of your friends. There something. We really are doing something. Whyt whyy don't you jump on the big one with us a't note is that too much? I thought it was a good callback Yeah, it's good. it's very good. I just wanted you to know that took on board what he said Um It's kind of you. I struggle with accepting that. I struggle with any sort of Does it look like I'm sat on his lap? What is Does it hit Does it look like I'm a ventureuringic qu' dummy? I've really enjoyed getting to know you. Yeah, I've enjoyed getting to know you But that's it. and I find it really hard to give myself to people You can say of giving it to me been Betrayed I'll never betray you and I want to believe that. But I do find it tough to actually do that. I can only prove that to you through what I do, not through what I say. and if that takes time, that takes time Are you closing your eyes because I'm closing mine Defination,. All right, Should we do the guess bit? do the guest bit? G. All right We interrupt this episode to remind you that we are going on t. Yes, Janet has been hard at work and organised not one, not two, notot three, I don't have time for this. It's seven shows across the UK. Can't believe it. Seven. Seven. But where are we going count to seven. I can. lookook, I've got seven fingers. I know. Well, I don't know you say I've got seven fingers sort of proves that you're mathematically gifted. O, right. We've worked the numbers out, but what about the destinations? Where are we going? Let me try and do it in one breath. We're going to irmingham Yor, Manchester Bristol, Hampton Brighton and London all this autumn Look Janet put a lot of work into this tour and it would genuinely upset her if you didn't buy a ticket. That is of course. Me guilt tripping you in buying the tickets, which is actually unkind We want you to want to buy the tickets. We want you to want to buy the tickets, but also we don't want you letting her down. She's been hard at work all year putting this tour together. I just don't want her in a bad mood because no one's come to the shows, okay? I mean, allready have to work with him, he gets quite in a bad mood a lot anyway Tickets are on sale right now, just find the link in the episode description. And who knows? you might even get to see a little more of Janet in the flesh than you bargain for I don't think she's is she up for that? Have we got clearance that she's alright with that You've written that in. So don't now backtrack from it Unbelievable, S. I can't work like this Plan B is a backup birth control option that's there for you when things don't go according to plan It specifically works after unprotected sex and before pregnancy occurs by temporarily delaying ovulation. Plan B is available nationwide at all major retailers and through delivery apps like Doorash. No ID, prescription, or age requirement. It's the number one OBGYN recommended brand of emergency contraception, and it won't impact your future fertility That's Freedom to Be. Vse as directed Your summer weekends fill up fast, but Crocs has your back. Road trips, beach days, last minute getaways, whatever's on the agenda, swing by your local store and find your new goat too Try it, style it, make it yours. becausecause the right pair doesn't just show up It shows off Wlock out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croux store today If you've ever blasted Synth bes from your boom box or burn CD's for your besties, this one's for you As people get older, much like their music tastes, their health needs change AG one is the simple Daily health drink designed to deliver over seventy five essential daily nutrients in pre and probiotics to support energy, digestion, and mood So you can make the most out of every decade and dance break Learn more at drinkagy one. com Hello Jake. Hello Joe. Why are you still doing this Please, please I have some authority in this office. It's on this It's on this. It's Hota. it gives me automatic dutity. Its an authority when you call it a office. office. I didn't think you would pick up that ' I I'm going there's anything I' going I and do. S. S. Why can't I say hello properly? N two is gorgeous. hello I was watching Artemist I go to the dark side of the moon. Lose contact lose contact with Houston control for forty minutes and I was thinking, what if they came back round Victorious and just said, Hello. Artemist two here. Um so we went to the moon He De mankind Oh, we're all won now, aren't we? Oh God, here we go. I thought we're all fucking separate and fighting this battle fighting that batt everyone's fucking But how apparently when we go to the mooon, we're all won. But don't say it sarcastically because that in itself is the beautiful thing about something like this People you know, people look at the world from the viewpoint of the moon and they think, my gosh, why are we fighting Yeah, I mean, if that if it was happening, that would be a lovely way to do it. Nothing happened No way. You you don't think this ultimus two things happened? No, I think the news headlines are happening. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. But that's to distract us from all the other shit. So do you think we ever landed on the moon? No No, Joe Where's the proof Well the burden of proof is with you believers I just think because obviously they they went and the proof, I guess was the The live the live broadcast. Oh yeah, the people who went and then came back and said, lookook, we went. The thousands of people involved in the science and the project getting off the ground Youre really thinking nothing happened then Well how how? they didn't even have a fucking iPhone back then. Authority. Authority Authority You need to tell me that all those people are sat in the NASA office. So yeah how are we gonna get them to the moon? Oh God! Would you go? Would you go in space shuttle? Would you fit for I over the weekend found out about a little psychological trick that apparently tells you a little bit aboutbout yourself? I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued as I thought don really know this trick because of the plethora of knowledge that I have. Yeah, of course, of course. I just thought as doctor, you might want this in your arsenal Okay, so u Pleasureize I want you to picture yourself in a approaching a wooded area As you go into the wooded area, I then want you to figure out is there a path or is there not a path You then come See. A body of water Well, as in Up to you, brother. U to you. Well it's a body full of water. A body of water. No one No in the history of people saying the phrase body of water. no one has ever thought it's someone who is just a body there bloated with too much water in them. Yes. could be an accurate description of a body because we are seventy five percent water. Well, you know what This is interesting, actually, because I think it could still work. Imagine what your body of water is, It could be a puddle to a river, whatever it is. Is it flowing? Is it not I then want you finally to come Keep past the body of water and then you come to see and you see a bear. So I've stepped over the body Yeah And I see this grizzly bear Yeah are. And you' need to not and we need to notice how this bear makes you feel and how you get past it. Do you run? Do you fight it? Do you sneak? What is it Okay All right, take a deep breath. Yeah And open your eyes, my friend Wow. are you feeling good? Do you feel sort of back in the room Now each of these decisions never left the room. Each of the decisions you made have an impact on what you are as a person. So let's start Was there a path? there was a couple of like used call them fox holes. dig out. See, this is interesting. Whether there's a path or not and how strict the path is is how much you see yourself as having someone someone who like plans out their entire life, who has a set path of how they want to get there. But it feels like because you've got these little fox holes here and there, you've got general checkpoints of things you might want to get to in your life But it's not, you're not set on it. you're not set on it at all. that what you relate to that? Do you relate to that ats you done. What have you done What have you done body of water describe for me the body of water. Well, it was missing a leg. Dam It was a mix of blood and water to be honest with you. Right And I checked to see if they were still with us, but they hadn't. You know what that represents G on, seex life ight makes sense,'s actually quite accurate. And then finally the bar Oh yeah. Yeahah. Sh you know what happened with the bear? Please tell me. Stabbed in his left eye, kicks it in his dick. Fucking h. Yeah, well it was dog eat dog.. Bear eat bear. The bear represents problems in life. Oh, So the fact is you can attack him head on Very, very interesting, Joe. I've lear a lot about you there. Do you know what's interesting for me? Yeah I'm meant to be The psych in this. sureure. I'm meant to be the one that knows it all I've never heard of that exercise before. Really? And honestly, you've really opened me up to the fact There's no need for me to have heard that before ' it's completely and utterly useless. It's quite a shit, isn't it? Yeah Jake, Yes Have you heard of a little something? Oh my god. Oh my go, there's been a massive accident. Chan' Janet Janets Jan'sall over behind the set. Janet, UK. I it if anyone heard for the audi listener, well, to be honestly, the audio listener is the one actually at an advantage here. There was a massive thud. Janet, pick up Do we check on her Yeah, you've got, man, I've got to me see what I've got to prep the session see whats after.' got a prep today Oh my Godd. Oh my go. What? She's absolutely trashed the place. What? I have no idea what's happening. What did she mean? She's trashed the place. No, show me. in a fit of raange. Where's she? J Oh my go! J everywhere She's done her wronga as well. She's not an absolute stake. I didn't know you could get whereere's all the cream come from? Oh my fuck. That is whipped cream everywhere. Ewhere. I think that's intentional, isn't it? Whatever's happened is intentional There's nothing there's no such thing as non intentional stuff Let's examine that So what's an accident then There's no such thing. What's he mean You've never done anything by accident I will What about you here today Is that intentional It's a lovely little smart Brush overver Yeah, I'm trying I've told you I've trying a new vibe. You worried H We get to do this for what reason All of this exists for what reason You are very good on the triters Oh, I see The trac is back. It's being filmed as he speak Is somebody else going to be going to be going to be the new Joe Mala? I don't know. That's what that's what you mean by buried. Maybe Would it be Would it be Romish you' see that? Will Robbish get to have a podcast? Who knows? He already's got like that That's a bit of a joke. Oh F'sny that you bring that out, Jake. Because on the day it was announced the Saturday, Oh yeah. I was actually at Chessington World of Adventures with Nick Mohammed U so it was nice to spend the day with him. Yeah. But we were both like, oh wow, look at this carsma and both a bit like H bit sad. you want to be back there? O FMo. Oh Shall we do it all again and then we were like No, I wouldn't want to do it all again. I'm grateful that We got the opportunities to do it. and then even more grateful I got to milk everything. Yeah off the back of it. And old J' gotta taste as well. Why not Who do we think's gonna go well in there? A friend of mine is in there? Oh, who's your friend? Joe Iset Oh, how how do you think Joe do? I think that everyone is going to be so suspicious of him because he's known for doing these big Stunts and like pulling the wool over people's eyes and, you know, a little bit of Nico that was Nico's downfalls that happened to him. He's got that ney Niico thing. Yeah, doesn't So I'm not sure, I'm not sure. Wh's going to be the faster? That's what we need to know. Good. Who's going to be the faster Oh I'm so sorry So bye They're so wet Ohong well I look forward to seeing how it all pans out. S you. I look forward to getting some fucking air Are we going address the elephant in the room? I would like to because what's happened this week does not happen to anyone, I would say ever, let alone twice in one night. you Are you okay Sorry to I still think you set up somehow. No I didn't set up You don't set something like that up. I wouldn't have the foresight or the ability, the practical ability to set somethingone like that up. It was like being in This is your life or surprise, surprise. We did a chat at Spotify. Lovely people at Spotify. And then we get brought onto the stage, we're doing our thing. then Ryan, the lovely host goes, Oh, Jake, I think you might know someone in the audience It's Mark from school I'm thinking Mark from schools here. Mark there I've not seen him for like ten, fifteen years. he's there in the audience Me and Mark used to be in a band together. Oh this is unbelievable. We used to be in a band called. The band was called The band was called ready salted and then we changed it to Wh AOY? That's not It's such a shit name. it is a shit name. Like you're expecting you're just telling people we're shit it w We were ready sorted. We just wanted something that doesn't didn't start with and the only thing we could think of was packets of crisps I don't know why. And but then we changed it to the morning after and I would set a stress None of us had had sex at that point. But we thought if we call ourselves the morning after, people might think Maybe these guys had a few wild nights Yeah. It would be many, many years until until that happened for either Duno Mark I'm sure' sure he's got a very he looked very different to what it looks like he's been doing some shraging But then Uo reverse And who starts talking to you? Oh It's always dangerous, isn't it? when you thr it to the audience questions. doeses anyone in the audience have a question? First person to put his hand up? Well, this it's not so much a question U but how's your garden And what was going? I used to be a gardener. I was like what? What What? How is this happening My garden was in the audience. We haven't had a garden for years. I was like, o my God and he went out's your garden When this is threatening in a way, isn't it? Yeah. How was your garden keeping? Might want to get a gardener back in, maybe. And then it was like,h, I was nice. I was, I was nice,n't. Well, you sort of panicked a little bit because you had two gardeners in mind, onene you used to have but then had to get rid of because they were too expensive. and then the new one, you're like, are the new one or the old one And I'm sorry, what really sort of what really what really got me was u what really ca me was u You said, I was nice to you And he said, Oh, you made me a cup of tea whole audience round of applause and I'm thinking what he's done the bare fucking minimum He's made in one cup of tea. he's got Spotify on their feet. What a bloody guy We need this is a men's mental health podcast at times, isn't it? So I'm going to use it as an opportunity to say men do better. One cup of tea and then fired and he's getting a round of applause Hello Hi mate. Hello youre right? What's that face? Well, it's the face I mean, this is Joe Marna will see you now. Yes, it is. This is Joe Marla We willll see you now. It feels like it's old MacDonald willll see you now. I don't this is a new look, isn't it? I don't know what's going on. For the benefit of the audio listener There is something quite visually new. hereere today, isn't there? Joe is wearing a flat capab. What What's the issue with my hat? No issue. It's just it was The face from you suggests there's an issue with my hat. It was a face of Fly Why not Well is my repost. Okay. And my repost to you having just learnt the word after you saying it first is For the last however many episodes, you've never worn one. You've looked delectable. You've matched the wonderful skeleton in the cornerkeleton We've laughed. The thing is we've been through a big j I've stayed looking like Asian Mr. Bean for the whole fucking thing. Yeah. and you do it so well. Thank you so much.. We've done so many episodes. Why the change of we change outfit? nothing's not bad. I'm just interested. The short of it is I want to wear a fucking hat because I like cats And we particularly like one today because because guest is actually Well known for their hair. Yeahet and I didn't want there to be some sort of H off or intimidating of the hair. are you having a bad hair day? Joe, tell me what's your love language Do you know the love languag Don't question me on that. You can question me on horticulture all you want Yeah, because I know fuckle. Yeah You cannot question me on love language We've got gifts That's the that's the one for ourselves, isn't it? Yeah Yeah, It's just too easy That's too easy. That's not even that's not love, is it unless the gift is My body your body.. What's? No, I need gift unless the gift is like darling, darling tonight, I'm giving you the gift of my body Okay. Yeah, but and clarify for me. do you mean your body is in If I say the My love language is gifting. And then I say to Daisy, I say, Daisy gift I'm giving to you tonight is Jake's body. Is that what you're meaning? If you're not up for it, me and Jake are still gonna crack on. You can use his cookchair. I think it's cookchair. Cutchair It's not a cookchair. I' not here making a paddle over. Well I just thought I'd get something after. It's going to be peckish, aren't we? It's so confusing for me though, Jake, because there's a town called Cookfield near me and it is spelt C UCK. Okay it's pronounced field You don't say Cuckfield. So that's why I'm confused. I wasm just imagining you now as a farmer of Cucks feel like, All right guys. Oh away now. o away Ait Stound down So Generally, are you a sort of glass half full kind of guy The opposite for that. The glass is empty. Really? Yeah, St is it on the floor? Oh wow, horrible glasses smashed. I thought you were just like an eternal optimist. Really? Yeah. I really did I thought like you give off this sort of like thing of old bloody old Joe Mar's about, but actually you're quite a positive person. Sorry, I give off a thing that puts on an Australian accent. Oh LJ M' about, I know while. You don't give off that. I don't know what that is. But think I think you are a positive person. No, I go with the mantra of Um Don't trust anyone The worst And you'll always be pleasantly surprised. That's a really good way to look at it You know? What about you? you you're a shining light of Joy and happiness, aren't you? You're A ebedi bouncing off the walls Who's Ebbody Wh's Ebd Zeb Zeby. Who is that? Well, you're the research assistant, Zeba Yeah which basically means on the one with the lapt. Zebede was a first century Galilean fisherman, known primarily from the New Testament as the husband of Salone and father of apostles, James and John. I am a bit like that I am a bit like that actually, appearing in all four gospels, Tick Operating a fishing business with his sons tip and is the name derived from the Hebrew Zebediah, meaning gift of Jehovah. Yeah, I suppose I am in a lot of ways I think that's the wrong Zebede Oh right, what was Zeede you were thinking of? I think Zebede is a character from the eighties. Right. Okay SoZebedi is a beloved magical jack in the box character from the nineteen sixties British television show, The Magic Roundabout. What's his personality like, Zebede? In this day down age, he'd be described as someone that's probably addicted to red book Okay. dude I just live wire. In them days, mentalist. Yeah, and all bouncy, likeana, but also there's a little bit of him that's scary You you never know when he's gonna to pop up., That's what I would describe.oooo bang. Wh? Hello Zeies here That's what can happen. But then after that initial shock You're then like Oh, this is so fun. He's got such great energy and that's how I feel about you. I really feel you just described yourself I really, really do believe that. I was in a pub the other day and I was being served by someone. So I'm Hs up is a full disclosure. I'm thirty two years old.. And someone serving me, she was about twenty nine And she said, Oh, mate I might recognize you. And I was like, you're joking. this is crazy, right? really? And she's like, Yeahah, I think I recognize you. Her colleague comes over. How did she? She must have been about forty, forty five. Okay And she's listening in. and then the person who cly finally goes, Yes That Joe Mala podcast. And the woman iss listening goes I'm so glad you said that. I thought you were gonna to say hinge I was going to say he's far too old for you In not in is shot, in eyees shot as well. What's this hinge you talk about? Hinge. What' I don't know why you've done. You'veone you're like Lord of the Rings character. What is this hinge you talk about? Okay What is this hinge you talk about? Oh you don't you don't want to get involved Joe, you don't want to get involved with all that but yeah, it makes you think about getting older and obviously we also we have we've got birthday in the office as well Yes we do. Yes, we do. Janet's birthday. everybodys birthday everybody. Janet' birthday. Why have we not invited Janet in? It seems weird that it' Janet's birthday, but she's not allowed in the studio No to record and be part of it. work to, Mate? She's got work to do.'s got work. She's got work to do. I mean, we have one client every week and she's got to make sure they're booked in. That's that's a five day week job, isn't it? What did you get Janet for a birthdayu What did you get Janet for a bir? What she's always asked me for a foot spa. I't know if you've seen a f, but they have been giving her problems Yes. Bunions, Bunions. Bunions. t Yes, ingrown toenails, buny. Just on that. Do you like ingrown toenails H Maybe this is No, no, no, no, no, no, sorry. this is it Let's look into this. Maybe this is a bit of an overshare. G on. What do you mean do you I like them? I love getting in Grantona. Really? I love them. Is they're not painful? Yeah, agony I really enjoy the whole process of then You know, become you know how I like pretending to be a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get like my little kid out Look a little mini scalpel and all that lot and those I watch videos on it and then I do this. And you like the pain Yeah, and I do it in a way where I actually remove the ingrent tone how Is someone just vom? Yeah over there. I remove it perfectly But in a way that doesn't doesn't mean it won't happen again. And you are doing therapy as well, aren't you? Rather than just pretending to be a therapist. you're sort of also working on some of your own issues. Was that too much of an overshare? Not at all. Is that weird? Perfect level of overshare. I just didn't ex I didn't expect it at all. So what you say is you don't like iningown tenails? No, I't I mean, I't want to show off, but I don't think I've ever had an ingown toneenail Never ending going to know. Yeah liift And You have not lived by. What is a sort of pain that you quite like For example, I quite like If I was to I don't do it often, but there's something quite eye wateringly nice about picking a nose hair out. Definitely. Really, really Do do it often. Do you really? Often because it helps induce a sneeze with me as well, which as we know, is an eighth of an orgasm. So if you're not getting a lot You can with a nose pulp Yeah. didid you say morgasm? You did didn't you? What did I say? I think you said eights an eighth of a morgasm Yes. More gazins over here, please Get in