Favorite Sandwich Styles and Ingredients

It is the Judge Joh Hodgeman podcast. I'm Billiff Jesse Thorne with me, Judge John Hodgeman. Yes, here I am, Jesse Thorne, and it's summer. it's getting hot outside. I'm getting ready to go hide in the coastal woods of Maine On our way should we open the members' only mailbag and share some of our most rolllicking of listener letters I think we should. And if you're not a member, this is some of the stuff that you've been missing. You can join us anytime. For just five dollars a month. maximum fund. org slash, join JJ HO. That's maximum fund. org slash, join JJ HO You will pay for the production of this program and you will get access to our entire huge monumental library of members only bonus content. That includes our monthly members only mail bag where we answer any question, thought, concern or observation that you might have and endure any complaint you might wish to provide us. So here's a little taste Here is something from Emily in Ho, Massachusetts. Oho I am almost sixty and I still love trying to catch little nature guys Oh You know, lizards, snakes, beetles, frogs, toads, crawfish especially cute soft baby bunnies I will usually pat a bunny with my finger, tell it not to worry, take a couple pictures, then put it back where I found it. I am gentle and kind, the whole thing is over in under a minute. They don't seem scared at all H P. My family thinks I should cease and desist. My kids call me snake Kampus. a cautionary tale snake parents tell their babies to keep the baby snakes in line My ex husband says I'm traumatizing the animals when I nabbed them. At least that was in the divorce complaint. Yeah Is this harmless rabbit appreciation or cruel and unusual bunishment Pretty good pretty good Emily and Hull retty good. The little bunnies never seem scared, says Emily I would say rabbits always seem scared. I had two pet rabbits that I loved and loved me very much. and were scared every time I was holding them. Yeah, they were scared. They're prey animals. Yeah. they're scared. They're naturally scared. Now if you were to get Amosideris in here. Yeah who has kept many a bunny as a domestic companion. The legendary House Rabbit Society Doyenne U, she will tell you that in time, Not only do they become housebroken, they'll use a litter box But they they calm down. Once you realize that Amy Sederis is not going to hunt and kill you. Yeah Which I'm still not convinced of myself. But once you realize it, you can really relax in Amy Sederis's apartment. She's got that look in her eye. She's got that look in her eye est Either she's going to say the funniest thing of all time. Yeah We hunt and kill you. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a while since I've seen Amy Sederis, what a legend.my Sideris the greatest star season two of Dickown Still on Hulu, they haven't erased it yet. You know what I like to do? No I like to go on YouTube And watch that one scene from Kimmy Schmid.ew where Ay Sideris is running into What's her face's living room? What What's my girl called from thirty Rock Je Krkowski? She's running into Jane Krkowsk's living room. Jane Kkowski has a white carpet. Yeah. And Jane Krksi says no shoes on the carpet I think she's like she has to sell the carpet for money or something. There was a whole it's a storyline Anyway, Amy Sideris is running onto the carpet and Jane Kurkowski says no shoes on the carpet when she's like ten inches from the carpet while running. and she just kicks her shoes off sideways while running onto the carpet. It's the greatest thing anyone's ever done on television. Its literally the number one thing anyone's ever done on a screen of any kind. What a talent We gott to get Amy Sederis in a membo mail bag one of these days getting, mayaybe even a real life case. What about these bunny rabbits? So you know I know that we're going to get letters no matter how, I mean, unless I rule it in a particular way. Yeah. We're gonna to get letters from wildlife professionals and hobbyists. Yeah I suspect we're gonna say just don't do this. We're gonna to get letters from Pokemons We're gonna to get letters from Pokemons. Yeah. Yeah Pokemonons out there. People are trying to catch them. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, ' they have to catch themmorr. Yeah, the Pokemons are gonna be like, don't go. Don't Pokemon go. Pokemon stop picking me up. That's what the Pokemons would say. Y I thought they just went Pikachu. Well only the Pikachews do that. Oh. Yeah, what about snorlaxes? They go snorlax. And the sideyducks go, Sy duck. Those are the only ones I remember.ember Syduck is the duck shaped Pokemon who always has a headache. Yeah.. I feel for Syduck a lot to that. Yeah no comment Anyway, I mean, I'm not going to get in the way of your fun Emily A I am. I mean, don't pick up the don't pick up the little bunnies Yeah I think there are some unintended consequences that you might not be appreciating about picking up little bunnies. Can I tell you what My perspective on this is that it' certain to generate letters Please And if you're thinking about writing me a letter to send it to Hodgeman at maximumfund. org. That's right That's right. It's a real email. I get it I'll definitely pass it along to Jessse. Here is my perspective on this Frogs Snakes Llizards and crawfish you should try to catch. Those are all pick 'em ups because They don't have real brains. They're just little monsters They react to stimuli. You get you get you could get into some trouble on the main lobster subreddit. You're not going to scare any of these little monsters. They they're only reacting to the presence or absence of light And they're amazing and I want and of course, it is of humans' right and responsibility to try and catch a crawfish. If you're if there's a crick And there's crawheads in there and you're not trying to catch them What are you even doing? Baby Bunny Yeah First of all, how are you even catching a baby b? Well, that's the thing. mean I don't understand how she's doing this. The problem is like Emily clearly has a superpower I'm astonished that this is possible. She's b mesmeric, but she spent so much time thinking if she could do it That a quote Jeff Goldmuman Jurassic Park. Shen't stop to think whether she should. Yeah. She might be turning these bunnies into monsters. I want to say There's no human feeling. which I relate more deeply than wanting to hold and pet a bunny rabbit.ure This is the thing. animates my the way that other people love their children. I love holding and petting a bunny rabbit. It's what gets me up in the morning, the idea that maybe today is a day when I will get to hold and pet a buny rabbit However, A wild bunny rabbit especially a little baby does not want to be caught and held is you could its legs could break. It could break its own back. If you don't, if you don't successfully support its legs because they will kick when you pick them up. Right. goodood point Uh and it will be traumatized because it has a real mammalian brain inside of its little head Yeah And You know I'm not saying that you're a monster for doing it No. I understand everything about it and I think it's a matter on which reasonable people can disagree. And if you do disagree, again, that email address is Hodgeman at maximumfund dot org d But I'm not going to write a letter to my own email address because I agree with you. I think it's probably better to leave those hull bunnies alone All the bunnies of Massachusetts, But even youre watch Cit a snick Go ahead. hit a snick. go for it. abbsolutely. I've caught craw dads in Massachusetts. Can you believe that? What's more fun than catching up in Lars Anderson Park. We would go down there and catch a craw dad. O course, And I was barefoot and I had a long piece of straw in my they might classic Sorry about that, Emily. but I also like I'm also worried that The mama rabbit will smell your Emily smell on and reject the bunny. Is that a thing I don't know. I feel like that happens. point is I think I think Jessse's absolutely right. You disagree, Jennifer Marer? No, I think hull bunnies, H no You got it Here's something from Bob in Evanston, Illinois I recently solved wordle by guessing the word raise The solution was arise and guessing R' got me to the correct answer. I think I should get credit for figuring out the answer without entering another guess Please order the New York Times to update their scorekeeping system Let me say this, John Yeah If I had the power to issue orders to the New York Times Yeah This would be first in your list, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'd focus on their scorekeeping system No other complaints otherwise, right, Jessse? No issues or concerns with the New York Times I stepped on what you were going to say. Would you like to re No I without me stepping on it? No, you put your finger on it, let's say. I cracked my knuckle all over that. said I want everyone to remember that I'm a freelance employee of the New York Times magazine which means I am not employed by the New York Times newewspaper Nor am I employed by the games section, separate entities So I cannot order or be held responsible for said the gaines section GAI S which is the only section that Stuart Wellington reads Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be so great. Gain it If the New York Times had a gains section, not just even a column, not just a bodybuilding column, but a whole section. a whole insert like, oh we have a New York Times magazine, you have tea that style of the times and then The New York Times guide to gettingting ripped while eating bagels on a Sunday. We know Jesse, that you don't play games. You don't play board game. you don't love them. You don't love them. You might be tricked into playing one, but you don't Games make you anxious. Yeah, I play out of the park baseball. out of the park baseball, meaning what you watch baseball? No, that's a computer game where you have your own baseball team and you trade guys for other guys and sign contracts and stuff Do they Do they ever show a game being played or is it all stats? In a little like animation where the guys go around the field like a They were on magnets Hm This is exciting to me But I usually simulate I don't usually play out the games. I usually will stimulate Th days at a time. Oh, this goes back This is a this is a twenty seven year old game. It started on Windows ninety eight. It's a freaking classic out of the park baseball You may have to give this a try. It's got a really good arbitration simulation system Oh, well, you know, I've been looking for one. Yeah. But you've never whirled, right, Jessse? No, I haven't ever whirdled. My wife and mother in law will sometimes whirdle. Or spelling be. Maybe they spelling be. Spelling B worordle connections. Those are the big three these days. They got a couple of new ones in there Aside from the crossword What did you say? Pips? Oh yeah, there's Pips Jennifer Pips is a new one. I haven't played Pips. It's There's like Dominoes. It's like dominoes and then they have like sections U where, you know if you then the pips in this need to add up to a certain number or These ones all have to equal each other and you have to figure out where each one goes It's okay. doffee. I like it Mh hh That's not the New York Times. I I do Cantipede It's a good game. That's at the Muse mechanique Let me understand this. Let me understand this Yeah When you do Wortle for people who don't know It's a game, right R And one, two, three, four, five. and you're trying to guess an unknown word your first guess is always a five letter word. And your first guest is always blind You just guess some five letter word And then the game shows you U if if the letter turns green That means that that is the correct letter in the right place If it turns yellow That means the letter is used in the word, but it's in the wrong position And then if it's grayed out, then you don't use that letter that letter isn't in the word at all And in this situation R A I S E, is obviously the exact same letters as arise So once Bob would have guessed raise R A I S E ISE would have turned green. They were in the right position And A and R would have turned yellow because they're both used in the word, but they're respectively in the wrong positions. And he says that he shouldn just by guessing Rise, You should automatically win Is that right? Do I understand that correct? Yeah, I think so orr he like wants a special like it's the solve is better When he gets to the right word, then like having guess from like, notot having every letter in there I guess his argument would be so you know, when you Cplete the wordle. Obviously everything here is a game. It's gamified. So it'll give you your stats. and you get you know, like you get ranked Well you right, you know, you guessed it in four in four guesses, I think you have up to five guesses, right? before you lose And then you obviously have the opportunity to automatically share your results with people in your world so you can brag about I got it in three today or I got it in two today Very, very rarely, it's totally wild. You could get it in one, right I got it in one once and it didn't save to my account. So as far as my That's no I've gotten a one guess zero times, but I know I got it once and I'm pissed What was the word? Do you remember? Dream Whoa Yeah. Are you sure you didn't dream it No D't dream this. I'm not sure now That does feel like a dream Yeah. That's the dream, right? You put in one word and it's like, yeah, all green. Gre green, green green. The dream is you is that you're in the thrift store and you find really amazing baseball cards Yeah, that's also a dream The dream is where I'm like running away from somebody, but it's really slow. I can't move fast enough The dream, the dream, the dream is I go back to visit the literary agency where I worked in the nineties. and it turns out I never officially quit and I have a pile of work that I haven't done in twenty five years And I have to go back and do it. Wf Everyone's mad at The dream, I' sorry, the dream is where you record the two thousand album, loveove slash hate featuring the hit song, Shudyest You didn't get it, Bob I'm sorry If you would put a rise in there U you would have gotten greens across the board. Yes and one, one and done. That's the dream Instead, all you got was a rise out of me because I'm mad at you Just understand, you got it in two. That's great Maybe you should be playing I mean, honestly, I stopped playing Worddle and spepelling B. Um, because I just felt like I was getting icted to something that was a time waster as opposed to when I could be spent Reading a book or even a popular subwt started to feel more productive than trying to solve that worldurdle. But one thing that is addictive about them comes in sharing your results and trying to do better and get braggy in front of your peer group. And frankly If you're whirdling to brag That's a bad that's a bad way of living, honestly, Bob Sorry Be very happy with yourself. Wdle to brag or braggle to word. Yeah, and by the way, bet Right. And and u I'm Braggle to word, wordle to brag and boggle because it's terrible game Bad game bggle. Wow. Sorry to'ar yum everybody, Bogle lovers, That's terrible. I've said it a million times Well, I mean, when you shake up the boggle cube and the words fall in there, the letters are facing in the wrong directions Its not elegant N game.s not good game You got it into Bob, you did a good job. You're mess go You're listening to Judge Jon Hodgman. I'm Bailiff Jesse Thorne. Of course, the Judge Joh Hodgman podcast always brought to you buy you The members of maximumfund. org. Thankks to everybody who's gone to maximumfund. org slash join and you can join them by going to maximum funund org slash join The Judge John Hodgeman podcast is also brought to you this week by Quince Just thor is hot outside, summer is here and summer calls for pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. By pieces, I mean pieces of clothing Things that feel easy to wear but still look put together and sharp. Quintince focuses on high quality essentials that are destined to feel and look amazing We're talking breathable linen. We're talking soft organic cotton. We're talking well made basics. at an affordable price without that luxury markup. I was looking I was looking at our daughter who's visiting the other day and I said, Well, that's a very nice Asmere sweater and and cozy pajama bottom set 're paama bottoms. they're pam style bottoms You know what I mean? They're matching cashmere, top and bottom I said guess what Guess what? 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Elevate your summer wardrobe, go to quQins d. com slash jjHO for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty five day returns They're now available in Canada too QuIncE dot com slash jjHo for free shipping and three hundred and sixty five day returns Wins d. com slash JJ ho The Judge John Hutman podcast is also brought to you this week by Made In. All right, so maybe it's time for you to get a new Potter pan and you're thinking, what are the pros and cons of all the many, many different brands out there? I mean, it's a little bit intimidating You got brand A B C D E F G X You don't want to look like a dumb dumb who doesn't know what the pros use. That's why Made in Pans has more of the pros. Ps like Tom Calicio Brooke Williamson and many other professional chefs and dedicated amateur chefs like me who trust all their cooking to made in Cookware John, have you made anything good in your made in lately I've been really into grilled cheese sandwiches in my life recently. Not a bad call I know. I've just been going on a real grilled cheese kick. I don't know I don't know what it is. Just at the end of the day, I'm just like timee for a grilled cheese and I know just what I'm going to use to make it my My made in carbon steel pan. It is as conductive and a beautifully seasoned non stick as a cast iron pan. But it's lighter and easier to handle. It heats up much more quickly make some tremendous grilled cheese sandwiches as well as anythingything you might want to saute or stir fry And as I mentioned, it builds up a natural seasoning that makes it effectively non stick in a completely natural way without any added chemicals. It's a real delight. What about you, Jessse? What have you been making in your madeid in You know what? you know, I like to make a grilled cheese No, tell me. First of all, white bread, sorry other kinds of bread. I don't really like white bread for basically any other purpose, but Other stuff, the holes are too big The holes are too big. white bread One slice of American cheese and some grated, usually like a sharp cheddar or something, just something with a little more flavor. a little blend I like to butter the outside. You can use mayo as well, but I like to butter because it tastes better And I like to put a little bit of carnasada seasoning on the outside world on the outside. I think that's a tremendous grilled cheese hack and I'm going to try it out In fact, I'm going to try make a whole bunch of them when I get up to Maine on my made in carbon steel griddle that I can use not only over A couple of burners on my stove, but I can go outside and put it on right on top of my grill or on a campfire For full details, visit madeincookware. com that's mA d e n cookware. com Here's a letter from Amelia I, Amelia, am an early bird. But my husband is a night owl I never thought about that, Ely bird night owl T bir two bird metaphors. Makes sense One generalized one specific. That's right We have a trail cam now In Maine But my wife is a whole human being in her ownright watches constantly We've seen skunks, we've seen deers. It's all pointed at our snowy backyard And then we have this owl. and all she's ever wanted was to see an owl. Last summer, I didn't know this, but as we were driving along, I saw at twilight, I saw an owl fly by I'm like hey,' a cool owl And she's like, I've never seen an owl. I missed it. I've never seen an owl. Now she gets to see an owl all the time because we got this is owl that comes into our yard and just sits in the snow for a long time. I've seen it h here and You're in urban Los Angeles, I saw an owl Really? Hanging out in a tree? Yeah, it was cool Th are cool among the top birds. Is there any chance that you would feel comfortable snapping a photo of that owl on your cam at some point and sharing it Oh yeah, because That sounds really special. Yeah, he's a fun little owl. He just he just flies into the middle of the yard and sits in the snow for long periods of time. I don't know what he's doing. I think of Alls being up in the tree tryrying to pass some mouse bones. That's what he's doing. Yeah Yeah probably Got a yeah, what do you call that not a bolus Owl pellet, I guess anyway. Probably thinking about the next time a kid's going ask him about how many licks it takes to get to the center. Yeah that's right probably' thinking about Yeah he's counting It's probably like o, I gott to get a new mortar board hat to look really smart. You know our friend you guys know our friend, Chris Fairbanks, stand up comedian, Chris Fairbanks. Chr Chris Fairbanks. One of my favorite guys in the world, one of the funniest comics out there He has a little chunk about owls wearing mortar boards Oh yeah, And the part that I love the part that I love the most that I think of whenever I see an owl is That's funny. haven'ten you on campus all year You know what I remember that joke now. That's probably where I got my owl wearing a mortorboard bit. So sorry about that. Chris Fair Banks. everyveryone, wecome up. Chris Fair Banks H, Amilia, I am an early bird. My husband is a night owl. I go to bed around ten PM. He stays up until one or two He frequently asked me to help him with a chore as soon as I say goodnight Some of these chores include gathering trash for the next day hanging just one sheet of drywall Wow. When I say no, he will roll his eyes sigh heavily. accuse me of never wanting to do anything I don't wake him up at seven AM for chores. My bedtime should be respected in the same way. Please rule that tasks must be discussed before eight PM and make him stop sighing and rolling his eyes U I want to ask You ever do any chores at night? You ever hang any drywall at night, Jennifer, Jessie? No way. Have you ever hung any drywall at all? Never Yeah I might do some stuff like this at night if no one lived in my house. Yeah Beuse it's like when nobody's going to bother you, it's all quiet and you don't have anything better to do, you know Yeah I understand the impulse toward night chores, but it's not It's not my choice Sometimes it can be very satisfying when when you're When your partner has gone to bed And You think you're about to go to bed, but then you get a second wind and you just do the dishes. We leave the dishes till the next morning. That's just the way we are. I mean those are households that don't do that, but we do because I gott to live But then But then that's always very pleasant. like midnight dishoing, like And you know in the morning, your partner's going to wake up and go out there and be like, hey I guess we live with some magical elves or something I also cobble some shoes A at one or two AM The other there was a Saturday night not long ago when we had just gotten back from Maine and u O daughter's cat had pooped in its carrier. And we thought we got all the poop out of its long fur because it's maine Con cat And my wife went to bed cat was stinky resting and it's Cat bed And I was like, I am I was like, I can go to bed now, but I u I'm not convinced we got all the poop out of that fur And I was right And I was really up quite late Now this was not this is an ill advised chore, I must say. Beome and poop out of the cat's fur at midnight after a couple of martinis. Oh The cat gets mad because as you both know I got my arm all scratched up and then I got cat scratch fever out of it. That's why I think sure should be done In the light of day, Yeah Drywall is a morning chore, I dare say. mean I don't even want to fold laundry at night. And like there are times where like before the kids go to bed where I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get the kids to bed and then I'm gonna watch my My programs and fold laundry and put it away. And then as soon as my son Ezra is asleep, I'm like,, I should also be sleeping. And the motivation that I thought I had is is long gone. So I can imagine hanging drywall. I know this couple does have a baby, they mentioned in the letter. I just I cut it out. And the baby does keep getting into into the electrical That is. L we got to cut We got to cut open this wall to get the baby out again. That means I' going to have to hang some more drywall tomorrow night They also have a fixer upper house.'s like, it's not like they're just hanging drywall for for funsy. No I get it. I get it and I understand. But I'm going to say of all of the possible chores you should not be doing at night After a long day, especially if you have a baby and you're exhausted is any kind of construction. Like, I'm sure they're like it's just it's it can be dangerous. You could hurt yourself. you could, you know I don't know if you're using reggular hammer and nail on that or whether you're using one of those nail guns, but if it's a nail gun in particular, don't Don't hang your drywall at the end of a. be fresh, be fresh. And certainly don't roll your eyes and sigh at your partner when you ask them to do a chore at ten PM And they're like, No, I'm going to bed. Yeah I get annoyed and don't want to say anything negative about Shane, my husband because he's really great and sometimes I can be a real be and I feel like not necessarily here like at home. L if I'm having a bad mental health day, I can really be not nice about it. So I don't want to sound mean. But there are times where I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to bed and then he'll start telling me a story about something that he's that happened during the day. or it's very innocuous. And I think a nicer partner would be like interested in hearing about it, but I'm like, I just said I was going to bed. Why are you talking to me That's not a That's not the one you are perfectly within your rights right there I didn't know want to talkking to. In't Iagine him being like, can you help me gather the trash S Yeah. No, because you know, an important part of sleep hygiene is routine Part of the routine is it's not just when you are asleep. that you need sleep hygiene. Part of the routine is Getting your whole body ready circadian rhythm wise to become ritualistically unconscious and begin your dreaming that o'c clock. I have to start scrolling until I fall asleep with my phone in my hand. Okay, now that's not good sleep hygien, I dare say sure. But, you know But whatever you need to do, like this is this is the probably the most personal time of your life, you are not sharing your marriage when you're asleep. That's why people, of means, should get large beds or to villas separated by a Reflecting pool So they can visit each other, but they can sleep, sleep, sleep is very personal and it needs to be respected. And I'll tell you what Jennifer, you're not wrong for gettingting Well, I'm not even say getting annoyed to chain. I'm saying you're not wrong feeling that difference between your sleep routine and Shane's sleep routine. And it's not wrong for you to stand up for your own sleep routine, which is not Listening to any more of his dumb stories after a certain period of time. I'm sure his stories are great. sorry, S. We also just don't have time to catch up because our kids I know it's hard. it's. Every time we talk to each other, they yell at us to stop talking to each other. so Right. Well, that's Yeah. You are also right to stand up to your kids and say, no, we also are humans. Oh yeah, we I am I know they' telling them, but know it. All I do all day with them is argue. I would love a day where I didn't have to negotiate anything Oh, I'm sorry. Those days will come. A sure When they leave I love them. I love my kids. I love my husband. I don't want to sound like otherwise anyyway. Yeah No, I understand. I just had a yeah But I mean, with my own partner. My own person who's a whole human being in her own right in the mornings She gets up earlier than me because she goes to teach high school And so she's got an hour head start on me by the time I'm opening my eyes And I get it pretty early too But it's like, I need and, you know, she's had an hour to sort of think about all the things that You think about it in the morning And then she naturally wants to talk about the things that are like coming up this week. What's happening later today? What's your plan And sometimes I to say I'm not ready to talk about any of that stuff yet. I'm just opening my eyes and getting my first Look at Reddit for the day. please, just give me a twenty minutes So yeah That's not supportortive husbanding, I must say, Amelia's husband. Yeah You don't, Amelia doesn't have to help you with it. and I think that Amelia is being more than reasonable. If you want to help with something P before A PM But honestly, don't hang dryry whileall at night. Wear your sunglasses at night obviously because your future is so bright becausecause we're going gonna take a little bre Yeah. Let's take a break. We'll be back in just a second All right, here's a letter from Andrew. I'm an amateur ornithologist with a deep love of birds My dispute is a. I would love it if Andrew had written. I'm a professional ornithologist who hates birds. My dispute is against many of the fifty states. Many states share the same state bird For example, the Northern Cardinal is the state bird of seven states and the Western Meadow Lark is the state bird of six states I demand a ruling that all fifty states should have a unique state bird Each of the fifty states should have a unique state bird. fifty states, fifty birds That's called the fifty Bird doctrine. That's why Howard Dean ran for president on that basis. Yeah.. I would like I would also like that's the thing. he was doing a bird call. Yeah when he got I would also like an injunction against Utah. theirir state bird is the California guull Wow. Talk about stolen valor. No state bir should have the name of a different state in its name. I think that much is obvious. I just want to break canan I break in with an opinion before I even Throw to you, John Yeah Utah, you're a beautiful state probleblematic politics, but I know we got a lot of nice listeners in Utah. We're huge in Utah for some reason. Fank I feel like our audience is dramatically overrepresented in Utah I love it. love I love the great Salt Lake. love those salt flats. I couldn't test my rocket car without the salt flats I went to Salt Lake City once with my dad. It was nice, you know, you got the soda and everything. Anyway. You have the best real Housewives franchise? continontinue. Okay. I feel like I've said enough nice things about Utah R? Yeah yeah Is I get everybody ready for this? This California golf thing is Pathet. You not have birds of your own, Utah They might not, I don't know, It's pretty desolate We have not covered Utah, I believe in E Plurbus motto yet because we would have touched on this issue 'cause this is not just a California goal which is bad enough that it has California in the name, but it is a true it's a seagull. Yeah It's not a salt Lake gull. It's a seagull. How' it even? what's it even doing there? Utah. What's the best bird of Utah I don't want to hear about this gll Golden Eagle is the Utah's official state bird of prey. It was a good one The American Avos set is ranked as a top Utah bird by local birders. foundound on Antelope Island. anyyway There are a lot of other options there Yeah, we have covered a number of state birds and the letter writer Andrew is absolutely correct that there are a lot of doubles Um, indeed, it's u, you know, The state bird of Massachusetts and the state bird of Maine are both the chickety. Of course they used to be the same state at one point, but I don't know, dont I don't think that's I don't think that's so hot. The main state bird should be the Osprey as far as I'm concerned, because I like those and I see them around all the time The cardinal is a great bird. That's why everyone wants it But these things aren't decided by the states necessarily. Usually they're suggested by school children who then as a as a class project will nominate a cheese or a muffin or a animal or whatever and bring it to the state legislature. And it's all part of a civics lesson usually in like fifth, sixth or seventh grade. A lot of these things were decided by children. and indeed, I can't remember what state it was, but after I think it was after Massachusetts passed the resolution supportupped in part by my friend Ben Lorch's younger sister, Kate, that the cororn muffin should become the state muffin of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts the state legislature after they passed that. They're like, they passed a new law, which was No more suggestions from kids J not allowed anymore. Kids cannot petition things to be state things anymore. We don't want to have to Be the bad guy with kids, said the state legislators Yeah, exactly. So I you know, there's there's nothing that we can do. We don't have the jurisdiction U to enact the fifty Bird doctrine. You know what I just convinced my state legislator to do U he's going to introduce a resolution to make the official animal of the state of California Stenkus the farting rat. The stink is the rat. I little love it that I bought from some little kids at the flea markarket I requested it so it's allowed. Yeah, you're not it. kids didn't request it. you I'll tell you what American Samoa's got to get on top of it because they don't have any bird at all.. So you probably have kick ass birds in American Samoa. I'm sure they got incredible birds, you know what I mean? I was ready to dismiss the presence of any birds in Utah, but in American Samoa, you know they got birds. They got birds. Yeah. The Virgin Islands There' they they're a territory and they and they got a great state bird, the banana quit Banana quit, it's a tanager and it looks it's got a yellow breast and it looks like a banana Yeah, well, I don't know what to tell you. I appreciate you, Andrew. I think you're right. obviously Jesse feels very strongly and I join him in saying The California goal has got to go But you're going to have to do it state by state and as they say, bird by bird. bird by bird An Lot An Lamot. Yeah Lot Bird by church with my mother in law. Oh Yeah. hey, you know what? lookook This is what I want to say to Andrew actually And this is for real You know how these things got named? usually just sort of by accident Lots of times though, as I mentioned It's like seventh graders petitioning the legislature and going to testify. They're putting in the work, Andrew. They're not writing to a podcast demanding u a solution to every problem, you know, nationwide. They're going state by state Bird by bird, they're putting in the work. If you want to if you want to if you want to shoot that California guull down then you got to go to Utah and talk to the state legislature and maybe move there. I think this may literally be the first time in the history of God's United States of America that an enthusiastic birder has had to be prompted to start a letter writing campaign Yeah, exactly. But don't shortcut it through here. You gott to write your letters to the state legislatures. They're the ones who decide And when you're writing to them, tell them to change the state beverage from milk to something else. There too many of you have milk as your state beverage Gross I get it. there are a lot of cows out there, a lot of dairy farmers and so forth. I get it, but there are a lot of beverages too Just use your same mail merge from that time you did that anti cat mailing We have a trail cam now in Maine and our pointed pointed out back of our house And my wife, who's a whole human being in her own right, watches it incessantly We see a lot of fun stuff. We saw there's there's a skunk that comes, you know, wobbling around every now and then. they walk real funny lotot of deer, but every now and then there's an owl. Big old allen it just sits in the middle of a the lawn for some reason and just hangs out there. Birds they're terrific Here's something from John. I didn't write this. There iss a different person named John peing of live shows. Weird, but okay. After listening to the sandwich cutting dispute from the latest live in Seattle episode, which just dropped a couple weeks ago live from the Neptune Theater in Seattle, Washington John writes, I wanted to comment on the best way to cut a sandwich. The dispute was triangular or It was the person one of the litigants cut the sandwich like length Not lengthways, widthways, like across the midd. across the middle cross the middle like a horizontal kindpe. Parallel and perpendicular to the side. Parallel and perpendic. Yes. That's right As opposed to triangles. As opposed to triangles or as opposed to a vertical line down the middle whichich they thoughtt was more exing. Right. I see what you're saying, right? So more symmetrical Yeah, right. Yes, and that's a good point because Most you know, pre sliced loaves of bread They got a little they got a little extra bread at the top. Right. You It's not just it's just not just a square. it's got a little hat. Exactly. Well, I know that Kenjy Lopez all really loves a triangular cut. because it makes the sandwich dippable into soup and also exposes extra internal guts of the sandwich to more, you know, there's more surface area exposure of the filling of the sandwich I am a triangle guy now. I grew up being a vertical guy Now I'm a triangle guy But listen to this John here, speaking of the little hat My favorite way this is John again, not me, the other John My favorite way to cut a sandwich is into a sailboat Jesse, can you see the diagram to see how this is done? So you have to picture a slice of sandwich bread that has a little hat on it. A little bit of that dough that spilled out over the edges of the pan and grew into the equivalent of a muff muffin top, but for sandwich bread. You slice that off So now you have a cigar shape. Right. Then you cut the remaining square into triangles by cutting horner to corner. The cigar shape becomes the hull of the boat triangles become the sails of the boat. This is Genuinely impressive. I'm grateful to John for signing and dating this picture after all. Yeah, he did. He did sign and date it It's not my signature either. It's a different John. Speaking of some wine for this Speaking of someone who's been gathering a lot of documents for the Mexican consulate lately, I would recommend that he take this to the Secretary of State's office and get it AA stealed or else it's never going to be acceptable. You got to get that Aos stal Where are we gonna I guess we'll show this picture on our social media, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeahah. We'll put this up on social. get we'll get it. If you don't understand, ye, exactly. People who don't. If you don't understand the sandwich, I'm sorry that you lacked John's incredible imagination This does look like a sailboat and I'm going to say right now it looks like a A single mast foreign aft rig sailboat with a Marconi style mask, not a gaff rig with a nice big billowy mainsle and and a nice big billowy jib and then a cigar shaped hoe John says, this is the added advantage, this shape providing not only the bititeable corners that Kenji so loves, But exposing even more of the interior of the sandwich and most of all It's just fun and I agree. Good job, John What's your favorite sandwich these days? I was just in England and I love Refrigerator sandiches from England, they're all triangular They've all been sitting there for days. I don't know why I love that form factor so much The way they stack them that's just like, yeah, like Egg mayonnaise and rocket or coronation chicken tuna in, sweet corn or potted shrimp or potted shrimp and spotted dick. I love all of those. What's coronation chicken? That's like a Cornation chicken like a curry chicken Yeah, Korei chicken salad basically Potted shrimp and potted shrimp and spotted Dick are actual things, but they're not sandwich fillings. I was just making a little joke U What's your favorite sandwich these days, though Gotta be jelly Del Joelly Bele and gentlemen's relish of Gentlemine's relish. I gott to remember to put that on my Holiday list Cheese and pickle is one of the options. Cheese and pickle is really good. Branston pickle. I think I would eat cheese and pickle. That sounds pretty good to me. I don't love an English sandwich, to be honest I like I was't I'm fascinated with them, but if you had you can go anyw way you want You doesn't have to be an English sandwich Like you're ordering There's those ones with cucumbers. For me, a sandwich all day long. I mean, I was just in Santa Cruz for the buullseye show there, which you can now watch On YouTube featuring Adam Scott. And Boots Riley and Scott Simpson And Glen Washington and the Merman all on YouTube. It was a fantastic lineup, wonderful show. But being in Northern California I was so grateful to go to a sandwich shop in downtown Santa Cruz that has a good sour roll A sour roll is really essential to me in my sandwiches. I can eat a sliced sandwich bread sourdough But it's pretty unremarkable usually. I I need the chew of the roll So it's like it's like a okay, it's a sourdough roll. That's what a sour roll is.. But it's got exactly. Crust all over the place. Cust all over the place and very flavorful bread. I don't I'm not a sweet bread guy U I want to say Rad guys And for me, I'm going to say it's going to be a sour roll Uh salami, hard salami. Yeah Um and look San Francisco style salami, frankly U and cheese, I'm flexible on the cheese. I'll often go with Swiss, sometimes just proolone. Yeah. I'm flexible on the cheese. And then I want almost everything on there and I actually like sprouts a lot on there. Here we go. So I don't need sprouts. I'm glad to just have toatoes tomatoes pickled. lettuce, I can't eat the onions or I would. U, I like mustard and mayo I don't need oil and vinegar, but that would substitute for Uh the mustard and mayo, I guess, probably if that's what was available. Sharp flavor and then that rich flavor. ye. But to me it's to me it's all about a flavorful meat and a flavorful bread if you just said I'm going to serve you mayo, mustard and salami on a sour roll, I would be like, thank you, num, no, num Jennifer, what do you got? What's your sandwich order My favorite sandwich is from a place in Silver Lake Cnet Boulevard Um Al Bodega Park. It used to be Black Hog and they've changed concepts many times but have always kept this sandwich on the menu and it's there Olive oil tuna sandwich and that's got you know, instead of an olive oil or instead of a tuna salad inststead of a mayonnaise tuna salad, right with olive oil and it's also got a soft boiled egg or rugula U red onion Balsamic, salt and pepper. I like almost all sandwiches and you know, a cheeseesteak or an Italian or hagie or or almost anything, but I gotta say, you've unlocked something for me As I would say baseline, best sandwich in the world for me Not anem be from a particular place. tuna sandwich It's my favorite. I just love a tuna sandwich Just a classic. Yeah, I'm gonna go eat one while we take a break Hey Max fun listeners. It's me, Jackie Kishan. I have a podcast with Laurie Kil Martin. sayay, Hi Lurie. Hi, Jacqueline. Hi Max fun listeners. But not very formal. We have a podcast and it's about stand up comedy and how much we love it and how much we dislike some of it. So listen to that podcast. It's called the Jackie and Laurie Show. We drop new episodes every Wednesday that gives us plenty of time to decompress from our comedy weekends and discuss things with sane level heads. No, it doesn't. if you are a woman our age or a man our age. or you know what? any person of any age, I think you'll enjoy your p. Jackie and Laurie S showow on maximumfun. org bye Are you a celebrity Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days I'm Camele Naniani, actor, writer, and yes. celebrity too. And I've got four words for you Bullseye with Jesse Thorne Are you tired of junkets? carpets, sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat? Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work? laugh with you a little Join me, Andre three thousand, Tom Hanks, Tina Feay, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne from NPR and Maximum Fun It's the Judge John Hodman podcast. We are taking a quick break. John, what are you up to this summer in the real world Well, Jessie, I am not in the real world. I'm in Maine I'm I'm living in the in the in the dark literary imagination of Stephen King. enjoying my Widow's Bay era Even though that's set in Massachusetts, incredible show, captures the mood And I am reading Moby Dick. I'm now doubling down and reading Moby Dick aloud into a microphone using a terrible main accent Folks who subscribe to my sububstack at hodgman. sububstack. com H been following along for a while while I've been reading Moby Dick aloud All of the the back episodes as they were, all of the chapters so far are there in the archives for your perusal. But the fun part about Moby Dick is Each chapter is kind of a novel unto itself I read it aloud, I talk about what I'm reading, I talk about some historical background that I learn in the moment or doing a little research. and talk about whaling in boats and Everything nautical and it's a lot of fun So you also, by the way, if you subscribe at hodgman. sububtech d. com Even if you subscribe just for free, you will get an update from me about anything else that might be going on in my personal and professional life that you might wantna know about upcoming appearances where I might be going, where you might find stuff that I'm working on, whatever it is, and just general musings for me Hodman. sububstack d. coma it's a fun little community over there. I really enjoy the conversations I have in the comments with folks and you can ask me anything over there as well as listen to me, read, Moby Dick. We're going to get through it All of it by the end of this summer So now's the time to join and subscribe, hodran.ubstk dot com dot Jesse, what about you I of course remain the proprietor of the put this onn shhop at put thisnshop. com where among other things I have just posted a size extra large crew jacket from the television show touched by angel Okay And a jacket from and a jacket from the movie, a crew jacket gift, crew gift jacket from the movie Bounce Oh that has the inscription with many thanks, B a and GP that being Gyneth Paltrow and Ben Aley You never know what you're going to find at the thrift store when you are in Los Angeles, but of course also many beautiful items that I recently brought back from Mexico, including men's and ladies jewelry, bootleg superhero figurines All kinds of things. just go to put this on shop C to find out more and get something great If you've got someone in your life that's difficult to buy presents for Go to put this onshop. com. You're going to find something fun, interesting, unique that they'll prize for the rest of their lives. Jesse's got incredible taste, as you know. I've gone to put theshaft. com many a time to get a present for my dad and other friends that I'm like, I don't know how to get this person and all of a sudden There it is staring at thehead of me. Alf cards and handkerchiefs and beautiful rings and Tie pins. you know, it something will leap out at you And then it'll leap in a mailbox to you and then you'll give it to that person and they'll love you even more The sshopot com Let's get back to the case Hey, we got a question here from Gary from Location Unknown In the episode So helpeling Gh or whatever, you say that Pasadena is the most Gh city in the Los Angeles area. You even have t shirts recclaiming the Pasadina Glf club We we still have those up on the Maxunst. Yeah The pink one is still there maxfunstore dot com maxfunstore.ot com. Pasadina golf club We madeet up at the Pion Burger. Gary says I bought one of each style, both black and pink for both of my kids. Gay But whenever a gof sees the shirt They all say the same thing Posadino is not the most gf city in LA Surbank I was to try to do a noull fielding voice there, but I couldn't quite pull it off. Yeah he wasn't that far off. Oh anyway They say anyway, the golf job all say B is Cim Fand Dango Right, gotch you. Anyway, the Ghs all say that it's not Pasadena, it's Burbank being the most Gh city in LA Magnolia Park section of Burbank in particular is the epicenter of Goth culture. It is tons of goth friendly vintage and thrift stores And a gooth can find anything they need The Mystic Museum I don't want you to reverse your ruling or anything. Okay, then, all right Gary. justust admit Admit it All Max fund members at Burbank. most Gf city in the L.A area. So we're now here in the new Maxwund headquarters in downtown L.A. Yeah. And I asked Jesse Fn, what is going on in downtown L.A? And he gave me basically two hour lecture on the history of Los Angeles development since the twenties, which was fantastic. I basically read City of Courts to you out loud. Yeah And so tell me what what's your take on Gary's contention here? Well, first of all, I don't think that we claim Pasadena was the most Gh city in Los Angeles, did we? We said it, but it was very jong in cheek Right Yeah. Padena is not Gh at all. That's why the Pasadena Golf Club meets at the Pieionberger. Yeah, but the thing was like, oh yeah, Pasadena is the most Gh partart of L.A But actually there is a lot of creepy stuff there It L like that was kind of the vibe. It was uncnted bridge. Gvel, gavel It wasn't gabble gabvel. No I I think Well, first of all Gary Of course you're right that when it comes to gothic retail Burbank is unmatched, just as it is Unmatched in the area of model and hobby stores It is it is the it is the most gothic retail in the Los Angeles area. It is also the most Uh, model trains uh the most tky Records stores. Uhu. All right. If you want to buy exotica records like it was nineteen ninety five Um, if you're Coreory Doctoro, if you're Cy doctoro, if you're our friend Coreory Doctor, get the to Burbank. It is. I guess The only question in my mind is I'm if I was going to be first of all