Lynn Cullen's Reaction

Welcome to the Judge John Hodman podcast. I'm Ble of Jesse Thorne. this week. and balances Eric brings the case against his wife, Allison. When they first started dating, they had a tradition called the safety kiss. If they were driving anywhere, they would check their seatbelts, secure their dogs, then kiss each other for safety They are now expecting their first child Eric wants to reinstitute the Safety kiss tradition, but Alison is opposed. She doesn't want to teach her child to be fearful and superstitious Also, When she kisses Eric She burbs. Who's right? Wh's wrong? On one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgeman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference The simple truth is Not all of us become the men we once hoped we might be But we are all God or whatever's creatures If there are those among us who thought ill of Judge John Hodgeman or spokeill of him or failed him in some respect of fellowship Then we ask for your forgiveness, Lord or whatever And we ask for his Bail, Jesse Thorne,leaseear the litigants Eric Allison, please raise your right hands. Do you swear to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth So help you, God or whatever. I do Do swear to abide by Judge John Hodgeman's ruling? despite the fact that out of what I can only assume is tempt for the very idea of my safety. He's never kissed me once G to you. Judge Hodgeman, you may proceed Jesse Thorne, I've kissed you mentally Thank you. Using mental powers. I've gone saafety first, Jessse, saafety first. On the astral plane? ye, every night before I go to bed, I'm trapped by this ritual, honestly imprisoned by it Eric and Allison, you may be seated for anmediate summary judgment in one of your' favorors, can either you name the piece of culture that I referen As I entered the courtroom to hear this case pes and balances. I realize this it's pes as in as in kissing one one wor pex is in pectoral muscles. So I'm going to reserve the right to and balances spepell differently for a future case involving deadlifts. Yeah, I was thinking maybe our friend Stuart Wellington from the Fop house. But in the meantime, we're here Ps and balances Eric Allison can either be named the piece of reference that I cultured Sure, we'll say that. as I courtroom the enter. The delicious yogurt of culture Can either of you name the piece of culture I reference as I enter the courtroom? Allison, No time for thought. What's your guess? The novel of Mice and Men The novel of Mice and Men by John Stein Beck. Interesting. Why? Be of a superstitious thing in that U just, you know, think things go unplanned. yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be careful when you're hugging animals. Okay. Eric, you and Allison are married, right? Yes You've known each other for a while, right? Yep D you just love Johny Steinbeck or what? Well, yeah premotently. T. conversation. Yes. I love it. I've never I've never read a John Steinbeck. Should I read one, Alison? I'm reading for fun now. I mean, they're nice and short, so you have to read one for like a book report I didn't know that. I thought they were long, but good, good to know. Short All right, Eric, did you have a guest prepared I do, yeah, It's not right, but men without hats, safety dance. Men without hats safety d. Yeah. It's probably like in the extended version. There's a breakdown scene. Yeah In which what happens exactly? when men without effort a breakdown? Well, No yeah, they have a breakdown. No, it's like they deliver the speech that the reference. Yeah, on the twelve end. Yeah on the disco mix, John. Yeah great Sfe, saf, safe, safe, dance, dance, dance, dance.. A I gonna get in trouble with AscaP for doing that, Jesse? Yeah, you just blew our budget for the year. Well, well, there you go. Jesse Thorn, do you have a guess? No, I have no guess This one's right up your alley. or shall I say on your high seas Is this from Master and Commander because Yes just did Master and This is the greatest insult to me I'll tell you why this is an insult Yeah Griffin Newman, Griffin Newman closed a blank check podcast. I know and has been a guest on my podcast, Jordan Jesse Go. It's a very nice Man. Yeah, yeah And his co host, what's his name who I have not met David Sims had Our friend Travis Mclrooy on their show, blank check, their film their film discussion podcast, bllank check. Bankck talk about pig in the city A movie for which I am such a famous admirer, or of which I am such a famous admirer, that I am featured on its Wikipedia page Yeah, and that's and that's hard. That doesn't happen automatically. John, I wrote an essay about Bab bigig in the city that made dozens of people cry before my very eyes when I performed it live. Yeah If there's any other film with which I'm associated, master and commommander far side of the world, for which I've been an advocate for literal decades Sure. That a by They inv Travis on their show to talk about Bay Big in the city and they inviteited you on their show to talk about Master and Commander Farside of the world. Yeah They're about to do an episode, I'm sure about Peeew's bigig adventure with you know, Jordan Morris or Dave Shumkea or something like that You know what, the far side of the world does not revolve around you, Jessey. I'm sorry to say it your head. Hum British comedian Humphrey Carr on that guy definitely is more obsessed with master and commander than me. He knows all the knots. He knows all the knots I love Mastering Commander two. So does Eric, by the way, Alison have you ever seeen Mastering Commander Fide of the worldor? can't say havele It's truly a dad or dad to be movie for sure. Yeah, Allison and you'll be a dad soon and you'll have to watch. All I did, Jesse was all I did was text those two guys and like I'm loving the Peter Weer series, the director Peter Weer that they've been covering on blank check By the time this comes out, it'll be over, but it's all there onm blank check for you to listen to So I can't wait to hear about Master and Commander knowing that it's one of David's favorite movies And I was very surprised to be asked at that moment to join, I felt like a real insinuator But it was a delight to talk about it. And you know what, Jessse, I felt bad I felt bad because I know you love that movie too. That's why I sent you so many psychic kisses the night that before I orded G good guys and good podcasters. Yeah. so I was quoting I was quoting from Russell Crow playing Captain Jack Aubrey eulogizing Midshipman Hoam One of the junior officers u who comes to an ill end And I won't spoil it for you, but I mean, he's not alive. That's why he's being eulogized U And it is predicated by the fact that he gains a reputation on the ship for being a Jonah Now there are many nautical superstitions Don't whistle on a boat orll or you'll whistle down the wind. The wind will come. Uh, no no bananas on a boat I guess unless you're a bana boat. I don't think about how you're gonna get past that one U don't don't mention porkine animals on a boat, for example Those are awesome superstitions. Don't kill an albatross. You see an albatross, great, kill one bad U And then sometimes someone will be become known as a Jonah who is a person who brings bad luck to the sailing voyage. And Hollam becomes a Jonah. and it's a sad situation But it's about superstitions and about the trouble they can cause, even when they involve kissing And's Im going to refer to kissing from now on. Eric and Allison You're already seated, Who seeks justice in this courtroom? Is it you Eric? I do Y Honor Now one thing that came up, you've seen Master and Commander, and I mentioned that's That's a movie for dad's or Dads to be. Yes. And you are one. You and Alison are parents to be, is that correct? That's correct Congratulations. Thank you. Now exc when is this coming out here? It's coming out a little later this month. So you're Your child is due sometime in the future, and I wish you the best of luck. I'm going to give you the advice that was given to us by the nurse who handed us our first child who was then and is now a whole human baby in her own right. sayaying Enjoy your baby And that's's something that my wife, well human being and I have said back and forth to each other all the time. It's a powerful thing. Enjoy your baby. They're not babies for long I will. you. Now, if you had planned it better Right? Your baby might born In two days Which is my birthday? Oh, happappy birthday, Yon. Well, it's not here yet. I think it's gonna to happen All right, Eric, what is the justice that you seek as you think ahead to this child? This is a child rearing issue here Yes, Your Honor. I want to reinstitute the safety Kiss, which was a thing that we did when we first started dating. kind of spontaneously. I think I was the one who started it though where when we got ready to go somewhere in our car fter everybody had buckled up and gotten set I would say, okay, safety kess, and then kess, and then we go Now, Allison, you two live in the in the in Washington state U in the Puget not in Puget Sound because you're not living underwater, are you? No, it's technically the Salish sea Yeah. You ever been to Port Towns End? Oh yeah. Yeah, we did a show up there once That's f. The second wooden boat buildilding capital of the world. It's one of the B blimp towns in America. Best blimp towns in America After Akron, come on It was we went on a couple of different trips that were sort of our last trip for the baby arrives and Port Downson was one of them That's a wonderful place to go. And when you got in the car, I presume or fairy or whatever The safety kiss is no longer part of the routine. is that right, Allison? It hasn't been for some time.. What is the time that is su? Probably two and a half years or so All right, we'll talk about how the magic has died in your marriage in a moment, but first You are You are parents to be Allison, but you are currently both fur and feather parents, are you not? Oh yeah What is the what is the situation? What is your pet portfolio involved We have two dogs. u Three cats. Seven chickens and four ducks. Sounds like Eric is coaching you. Sorry, up. I does look, I just want to know, are you answering these questions under duress Your Honor, the numbers change unfortunately as part of the I' way you've gotten this many pets. I hope and know that you sent in some evidence of all of these animals. Let's take a look at that now, please Whoa What was his douck doing That's the dog.it is the dog wearing a wig? And then the duck is like, why is the dog wearing a wig? And then but nobody is saying what Duck, why are you in the house? Yeah, no one is saying except for you and me, Jessse. Duck, why are you in the house Hcept, you know, when I heard that you had all these ducks and geese and chickens better scurry when they Id take you out in the Surrey situation up there. I thought maybe you had him in a pen. O a or in a run or outdoors somewhere. but this is a duck on the bed Wh I'm duckking, who's this dog They do have a run and a pen outside, but we let them out to explore and Buttercup loves to come in the house and she's very very smart for a duck you think she's people She's not afraid of us or the dogs at all. She somehow knows that she's not supposed to poop in the house. Not supposed to So you're saying that you can intuit that when she does poop in the house, it's either a shameful moment or an act of defiance Oh yeah, it's when we when we like forget to let her back out or don't use it to scold us. Yeah. so So that's buttercup on the bed and you don't have you don't even bother to name the dog. That's Homer and he's sporting his Rick James haircut. Yubby. Nice.. Yeah. Okay. Let see lets see some let's see some more pictures All right, here's Homer again with with whom Wait. Oh it not a wig? That's just his hair. That's just how he is. Yeah. Holy, mooly I certainly believed him to be wearing a wig He got some real u u he's got a real perm I mean, you could say Rick James, I would say DJQuick maybe. It also looks a little bit like umhermon in pulk fiction. That's true. These are some handsome animals. and if you're not watching on the YouTube for heavens sake, go over there at some point and subscribe, won't you? It's really helpful to the show. And also you get to see whole video episodes, including the lovely faces of our litigs today You're listening to Judge Joh Hodgman. I'm bailiff Jessse Thorne. Of course, the Judge John Hodgman podcast always brought to you buy you The members of maximumfund. org. Thankks to everybody who's gone to maximumfund. org slash join and you can join them by going to maximum f org slash join The Judge John Hodgeman podcast is also brought to you this week by Mid In Jessse, neither of us are professional cooks like Tom Calicio or Brooke Williamson who love to use made in cookware, but I love to use made in cookware too because I love cooking like the pros, whether it's my carbon steel fry pan or my carbon steel griddle, or whether I'm serving in my beloved made in entree bowls We're drinking ice cold water out of our beautiful made in glasses. From knives to tableware to everything else, Maiden is truly my first stop When I am refreshing my kitchen, I am waiting Waiting with bated breath for these Dutch ovens that we got for our wedding to finally fall apart. because I know exactly where I'm going to go to replace them, by the way, thanks to who G gave says Dutch ovens, they're wonderful. But I'm talking about I know where to go when I need new stuff and that place is made in I use casserole dishes to make carnitas for my wife's entire family. This past weekend and it went great, John. It went You made those carnitas in made in is what you're saying. Bingo Bango calibango. If you want to take your cooking to the next level, invest in made in cookware Once you try it, you'll be pro made in too for full dets, visit madeidencookware. com M A D E I N cookweare. com T him Judge Joh Hodran and Baiff Jesse Thorne sent you. The Judge John Hutmann podcast also brought to you this week by Lisa You know, sppring is a time to refresh. It's a time when people get rid of stuff they don't want anymore. It's a time when they refresh their wardrobe. It's a time when they drink a refreshing ice cold beverage as a cool breeze comes off the meadow to you It's also a great time to refresh your sleeping situation with a Lisa mattress. I thought I didn't need a new mattress. 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I would say we would have to do it twice a day on average because you You know you drive someplace, you drive back and u Well, It seemed very perfunctory and you know, this is not a case about me not wanting to Kiss Eric He is like your husband? Yeah, I do. I do. ye. He's he's surprisingly good smelling. and you don't Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not going in Seattle to smell you air. Yeah, I'd looked at with of that. But it's, you know, to do it on command and this kind of u cursory pro fora manner just just got a little old after the several hundred. How did How did this start in your life, Alison Was there a time that you were cool with it or Oh yeah, we introduced it. did it how did it start Um Well, he just leaned over one day and said safety kiss And then we did, and we did that for a couple years, at least, yeah I cannot stop singing to myself safe, safe, safe safe T T T kiss kiss, kiss, kiss, now it's in my head Eric, was this something that happened in your family's life or something you learned somewhere or that you made up I made it up and I I improvisation. Yeah, improvisationally and fully formed as an idea of this will be a tradition right away. in my head. When was this in your courting ritual? This was probably like late twenty twenty one So it was maybe like a year we started dating at the at the beginning of twenty twenty one. You started dating at the beginning of twenty twenty. So you were dating at this point. Yeah So it was early on and Allison, this was not an immediate turn offff to you Oh no, it jumps up with improvisational stuff all the time that I laaugh at and support. Thanks. Is Eric a superstitious person? only about onlynly about like one thing, you know, all the time, which is which is knock on wood I'm serious about that. Yeah. I don't know why. These things get into your head salt over your shoulder? Yeah it has. Yeah Maybe it's fun. Yep So so that so obviously it did not doom the safety kiss worked for in one regard, Alison, which is it did not Doom your marriage or your courtship But then after a while, what did you do? Did you just say, I don't want this anymore? I just said, do we have to do this every time? And what did Eric say But I guess not. Yeahah. For my part, I just I don't remember when we stopped. It just kind of fizzled out. but yeah ye. So you don't remember like a sit down. It's like, I don't want tona do this anymore. And you don't do you did you have any feelings about it when it stopped happening N mean, you know, I like I just One day realizeed, oh, it's been a while since we've done that kind of thing. But maybe you remember differently I felt pretty good stopp doing it Um justust the act of leaning over and up a little bit just and suppressing the need to burp in that moment makes me have to burp, whether it's Subconscious or Yeah, I'd like to get into this piece of the evidence. It says here that one of the reasons You don't want to do this ritual anymore again. is that kissing Eric makes you burp. Tell me more about that I don't have an explanation for it, but it just it's a phenomena that happens nearly every time he asks for a kiss. Y. Yeah. What kind of birp are we talking about? Is it a loud belch or just a little bp? J a little Yeah And have you guys and Eric, how does it make you feel when Alison burps when you want to kiss her You know, over time it's become comforting. I think it's her body getting excited and she just tenses up a little bit and squeezes M Yeah Normally peristoltic regurgitation is an expression of excitement Unconscious muscle spasms Um So Eric, what is the kiss keeping you safe from Oh, u, so this is kind of For me, it's I mean, I will admit that I have these superstitions and I can be a superstitious person and there probably is a component of that. But for me, it's much more about the checklist. It's the final part of a safety checklist that we follow So what else is on the checklist Making sure everybody's buckled in,aking sure there's no ducks or chickens under the car making sure that we've decided where we're going because if I don't know that ahead of time, I will just default into driving towards Scott's Dairy Freeze in North Bend. Okay. And that's our running joke I just start taking random turns, and I'm sure that that's where I would end up Got it. Yeah. Also walking around the car backwards five times gettinget dressed and undressed three times. and then tuning the radio fifteen times, right? Right, yeah. And then of course, when the baby comes, making sure the baby's buckled in and seatabelts. You don't need to worry about that. tell your baby. That's what I say. Making sure the baby's not under the car don't, yeah. I feel like you could check five times to make sure there are no ducks under that car. and now know that Buttercup's going to get under there anyway. It is our constant fear So the kiss stopped happening after a while. Eric seems to say that he doesn't remember when it happened orr stopped happening, I should say. Alice, do you remember the day that you decided No U I don't remember the exact date, but it was sunny out Good day. Yeah. Are you expecting us to do one of those things like the guy on the internet who figured out what the ice cube song, what day the IiceCube song was about He's like, well, the Lakers beat the supersonics on these dates Oh really? Oh really, tracked it all the way back to a calendar date? Yeah And so after the safety kiss tradition ended, U How many periless car wrecks have you gotten into, Eric? None, yourour Honor. I'm glad to hear that. And do you always drive or Alison do you drive too Erica does most of the driving when we're in the car together, just because he likes it. and I don't like driving so much, yeah Alis, do you have any superstitions U no. When I was a kid, I had very magical thinking like I thought a portrait of my grandfather was watching me and that the taxi dermed animals in my grandparents' house could come alive, but I they never did, but I do I think I believe in ghosts. Yeah U but you're not sure. Well, I'm pretty sure I saw a ghost once G on. Oh, okay. I was in summer camp on Orcas Island and I woke up in the night and there was there was a ghost standing there over this this girl's bunk and know Yes, he was wearing a robe and had nasty gnarly hair and was glowing slightly And I was able to move around, I remember, because I was hiding under the covers And I told everyone in my cabin the next day of breakfast in a way that like a twelve year old just just says, oh yeah, there was a ghost in the cabin last night He was standing over your bunk bed. And the counselors got kind of upset And I never told anyone for a couple years until I was in high school and my new best friend told me that she couple months earlier had seen a ghost in her hallway. and she started describing that ghost And it was just key for word per word, how I would have described him and long fingers, the gnarly hair, the robe And u And she also said he was the most the whitest looking person you've ever seen in your life Waving Wearing a robe, you say? Yeah. kindind of like the one I'm wearing right now. Yeah, John, have you been any summer camps lately? No, but I've been astro projecting a lot.rying I've been trying to get all the way to Orcas Island. I didn didn't know that it worked The whitest man she's ever seen That's me. out cheheck out my slender fingers. Each one is a little slenderman. Well, I don't know if ghosts count as magical thinking. That's the paranormal more than magic Magical thinking I think would be something like Imagining that a movie like Master and Commander somehow belongs to you I love you, Jess Psychically. Yeah, I'm not actually mad. No, no I felt bad. I felt bad for all the fans of Master and Commander Oh, especially those ones on the Reddit who pointed out that it's not a ship of the line. The HMS surprises arigate. Boy was that mortifying Yeah, that's the sound of that's the sound of a cannon ball hitting my head But you have no sort of these run of the mill, I mean, aside from imagining that your taxidermed animals in your Nano's house or whatever was going to come to life You know, do you walk under ladders or you know do do you avoid stuff or anything like that? No, not really. bid of superstitions. Yeah. Right. Well, because you've seen the other side and you know. You know, you know what's real and what's not real. and this safety kiss is not real, correct Was it ever real Oh, how real? I mean, the brain is capable of making things real I think it was real for me. But I mean to say like it it's a fun it's a fun little tradition for dating in marriage, I suppose, but You never really believed that something bad was going to happen if you didn't get this kiss online, right? No, no, no at all I mean I'm I'm leading the witness here. Oh. didid you So I did I think that it's it's truthful to say that if we something bad had happened while we're driving or something does and we hadn't done a safety kiss, there would be a part of my brain that's like to guess Yeah, but you didn't even notice when the safety kiss stopped happening. so it wasn't It wasn't as though like, oh, this kiss didn't happen and I got to just pretend that I'm a rational person. so I'm going to white knuckle this this car ride without the kiss You didn't even notice it happened. It was fine. Yes. I mean, again for me I'm going off of your own testimony here, sir. Yes,ir. Allison remembers the day of the first No kiss dayay as being the most beautiful sunny day of all time. You don't even remember what the weather was, sir. For me, it was Tuesday. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. J know No, it really is. it's about like the safety checklist. It's it's the final punctuation mark on a checklist that that lets me know that we've done the right thing. Yeah, but do you understand what I'm getting at here? Is it a funzy thing? I mean, obviously bucling your seat belelts is not for fun, that's an important part of the checklist. This is a funzy thing O is it a like I've been missing it ever since it stopped happening, and I'm terrified now that I'm about to become a father, that the whole world is going to fall apart because by the way, the whole world is falling apart. I need to get this kiss back in my life to get things back on course. Yeah Yeah, that resonates. It is about for me refocusing on the idea of safety and kind of like making sure that we're doing the right things for the baby and and each other And so it feels to me like part of a complete breakfast of safety John, I know you have kids, but the thing about babies is It's warm underneath the car. Right And they find that comforting That's right Has the rest of the safety checklist gone away? Once the safety kiss went away, you no longer check if you've buckled your seatbelts or know where you're going or anything I think yes. ye. I mean, it's not gone entirely away, but it is less prominent than it once was Howon is a so Um, I mean, I'm I'm not always aware of what's going on as much as Eric is. he's all about. I'm the safety officer in our relationship. Yeah. Allison has chosen that passenger life In fact,our Honor, there's some stuff I want to bring up about safety, I think is important context U I will I will not allow it. No No, I changed my mind. I will allow it. So yeah, I can I tell the story about the ashes? Sure So when we first started dating, Alison has a beautiful cast iron wood burning stove in our house a wonderful thing while we're first starting to like have romantic evenings in front of it as we burn some wood. And then one morning I woke up and I found out that the ashes We're in a paper bag. Next to the stove and they were orange orr actually was it you who discovered them? Yeah, they were they had spontaneously ignited and so it was like a giant brick of ashes that was completely molten in the inside but somehow hadn't burnt through the outside of the paper bag all yet. but there was a slight Odor in the air. Yeahah So I went and purchased a steel closable drum for the ashes. Now. Who put the ashes in the bag U I did. I say You almost burned your house down We became pretty close. Yeah. Yeah If only you had kissed Eric before bed, then it would have happened. Yeah, it might have prevented some things. yeah. Is the point of the story to suggest that Allison doesn't understand safety, Eric Um, no, not that she doesn't understand it, but that Um is sometimes my role to make sure that we've dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's of safety things. He said I was Mr. McGooing my way through life. Wow I presume that was part of your vows. We joked about that actually. In what other ways, Eric does Allison mister Mcoo her way through life Oh so there was a chicken, what do you call hatching hutch Um, that has like a infrared heat lamp. Yeah, the infrared light had burned a circular hole through the the top of the hutch one morning. and so we moved all of that outside and changed the whole setup to be a lot more safe after that. You had the chicken hutch inside your house? Well, in like a like a an out ofom mudroom, yeah Yeah. No, Jessse, you have to understand these Th you should sound, they have mudrooms I don't know about this life. They have land and outbuildings and mudrooms and if it weren't for the moist climate of the Pacific Northwest, I think you You all would have a Ashes for a house at this point Have you ever looked over and noticed that Alison is setting her seatbelt on fire? Like wonder There was a mirror in the car the other day that I was a little bit worried would focus light onto the seatbelt. But other than that. like one of those shiny apartment buildings that like lights the building across the street on fire? Yeah Eactly. Yeah Hous's over there with a magnifying glass trying to set an ant on fire in her lap Okay Allison is Eric an anxious person. U no, he's very calm and yeah, doesn't doesn't get upset at things that I will do a double take or screaming triple take at even. he yeah, I think he's going to be a great dad for that reason Yeah, no, he's he's he's pretty chill So seatbelts are on the checklist, Eric, obviously. And this is a mental checklist or a written checklist this will probably probably be a mental checklist, but I do keep written checklists. I'm a very checklist forort. You're a checklist kind of person. What other kind of checklist do you keep likeike everything. I go through like a hundred checklists a day actually. I've got like an app that I'm constantly. What's on your app? Bring it out. Oh no, this is be embarrassing because we've got the baby coming, so it's full of things that are like Do this now. Y It says learearn about foreskins. Well, the second one of list is read pregnancy books until the pregnancy is done. and I haven't done that in a couple of days. Yeah And how often are you reading pregnancy books and you close it for a second and you call across the house, Honey, is the pregnancy done? That's about right. ye. So you got to do lists for the baby coming up. Y What do what what he obviously top of list is reinstitute safety kissing? Yep, ye, that's one of them. We have I need to rip out the sill around the nurseries' window and rebuild that because there's some gaps and some water comes through when it rains Yeah, you can't do that. Nope. Are you gonna paint? Are you going to paint the nursery while watching having Alfred Hitchcockx North by Northwest on in the background? because I highly recommend it My great memories did we just did that. And Alison's in charge of color. and she did a really good job. She picked some good ones. you didn't have North by Northwest on in the background, Alison? No, not this time. Yeah. Do it again' doom. Okay. Oh yeah. Okay, so again, back to the checklist. if I were to order in your favor and you're going to write it down.. Everyone checks their seatbelts. Then you decide where you're going to go. then Then you check under the or at some point, you check under the car for animals Anything else We've got two dogs so make sure the dogs are in their crate or we still have to figure out where the dogs are going to go once the the car seats in, but the answer is nowhere, sir. The dogs stay home from now on. Okay No, the dogs, you have a you anybody do you have a I presume you have a sububaru, right Almost as a rav four. Y. Okay., fair enough And so you have a couple of crates for your dogs in there And then you put your baby crate in there, add a banana and off you go Yes All right. So check to make sure the dogs are secure Anything else? If it's a long trip, do we have water and snacks Right, rightight? What about oil pressure, tire pressure? I mean, oil, you know, like And Well have stuff you need to take care of. I have a maintenance log in my app. so hopefully those things will be taken care of, but yeah I check my maintenance log. Yeah Make sure there's no warning lights. Yeah. Are you cool with all of this so far Allison? Yeah, I mean, even Hans and Chheewy had a checklist on Millennium Falcon. Doctors makes sense. yeah. Did you call say hand solo, Hans? Hans I'm not a big Star Wars person. I her anyway. I'm sorry. I have to go outside, turn around three times, spit and curse and then come back to clear that clear to clear that horrible superstion. Hans Ola. Stop saying it. Therefore tell me the odds. I'm sorry. I didn't mean we didn't mean to put Jon Blast for saying Hans, but yes, Hans and Chheewy have a checklist for sure U and it's just the kiss. Now one of the things that You told Jennifer Marmer, our producer before coming to the podcast, before coming to the fake courtroom is that you don't want to teach your baby about two things. One superstition or that something or train them to feel that something bad's going to happen if a kiss doesn't happen and two perfunctory kisses. Explain explain explain what you dislike about these two things and why it's important to train your baby differently The implication is that if we don't perform this ritual for this superstition that Eric and I made up, something terrible could happen in the car. And uh you know, fear of death buying I just don't want a kid who has magical thinking like I did to feel scared that if we didn't do something, then So is this because you felt scared as a kid I guess I was pretty nervous as a child, but Yeah, things good. So it's interesting. I had asked you if you thought that Eric was an anxious person, but it sounds like you were a fairly anxious child. Yeah, ye My mom said I would just I didn't want to be alone ever. Yeahah. Allison, you do kiss your husband. Yeah, when you want to Yeah. I think we have some evidence that as well. Let's take a look at that. Hell yeah, let's go. Oh wow. Allison has provided a montage of some very adorable momoments of pre kissing, post kissing and in the midst of kissing In many different wonderful sits, you guys seem to travel around, even We live in a beautiful state. But you don't like kissing just you call it perfunctory, obligatory kissing. ritualist kissing. Tell me why? Well, it just it just seems like you put a coin in a machine, you get a kiss. and Yeah, it just once you've done that a few hundred years. If only I had known. Yeah, It seems like a great machine The best I've ever got is a gumball. Yeah really U does it feel phony to you U Yeah, it just it just seems a little like just there's there's no emotion involved.'s J, you know, lean over, smack lips You're done If it were something other than kissing, like High fing Would you have an issue there Um You know, I guess not so much. Yeah That's a less compelling metaphor My sister's family has a tradition of nucks, they call them I feel like fist bumps is a symbol of u emotional distance. Anytime someone fist bumps me, I feel like they're just like making sure that I know they're not attracted to me Basically. I can tell you that when youve fist bumped a two year old, you can know it comes from love All right Well, there's that thing, Jesse because when we, you know, when we go on tour sometimes and we take an airplane together You try to kiss everyone on the airplane for safety And and then they're like, actuallyually the fist bump is fine. It's cool fine. It's either that or I do the dance. there's not a lot of room in that. No, off course. And you and look in some of those commuter planes, you can barely stand up. You're a tall fellllow there. No, I mean they try and tell you otherwise when they show you those little videos about the, you know, the slides and the air masks and everything Right there's plenty of room for everybody to be doing a special dance, but no it's just a lie they tell you No, no. On in Delta one are you allowed to do the special dance now? It's not fair You've just reminded me that that's actually another superstition that I'm very I think I've done this almost my whole life is that anytime I get on a plane, I always knock on the hall as we go through the door Yeah, I do that too Here's some of my superstitions err Tell me if you' got any of these Don't toast to water Oh, u I'm aware of that one. But yeah, don't follow it. I don't say Macbeth in a theater We were just talking about that, actually. I hop not in the theater Hey. U I did theater a little bit in high school and I made that joke. I quoted Macbeth in the theater and my co the theater people did not enjoy that at all. No, no. You don't say Macbeth in a theater, you don't say Mike Mitchell on a podcast. Do you know that? Jesse No, I did not know. I't say Mike Mitchell on a podcast You know Mike Mitchell's friend from high school McDoough, right Shankton, Pikey, Z Man and McDuff. Allison, if I were to replace u a safety kiss with a safety Nuck or High five W that work for you or would it still be a symbol to your child that there is a magical ritual you must do or else the car is going drive off a cliff Um, I think I'm fine with a with a fist bump high five Whatever, like touching, slapping to the back seat with the baby. Yeah, I just I think that not calling it a safety kiss would would be better, maybe just U I love you. let's go. you know, I'm all or Wanting I love you. I don't believe in saying I love you unless you really mean it. Oh, no perfunctory I love you Does the framing of this matter to you, Allison? Does it matter to you if this ritual or engagement or whatever it is is adding safety or preventing disaster Yeah, I think that saying that it adds safety means that it prevents disaster, if we weren't to do it, that disaster is more likely to happen Okay So what would you have me rule if were to rule in your favor, Alison nothing Um, just say yeah, yeah, nothing G Look at it The official Ted Kight from Caddyshack ruling, you'll have nothing like it Um, and obviously you want you want that kiss Yes, you want me to force your wife to kiss you whenever you want. He's kind of a love hound I like kisses. What can I say Are you a love hounder All right, Loveand, mrs. Loh H. I think I've heard everything I to make my decision. I'm going to do my Pree going to Chambers ritual I'm going to consider my verdict I'll be back in a moment with my decision Please rise as Judge John Hodsman exits the courtroom. Alison, how are you feeling about your chances in the case right now I'm feeling pretty good. I'd love to hear the judge's argument that in this part of the world in this day and age that I must kiss a man Oh wow I understand U Eric Now that you've been destroyed forever. Yeah, how do you feel about your chances in the case? Oh, I just probably need to bury my head in the sand somewhere. Yeah Well, we'll see what Judge Hodgeman has to say about all this when we come back in just a moment Ready to go. knock knock. Wh's there? We got this. With Mark and Hal You knew this one I can't put that out as an ad. We just did new episodes every week on maximumfund dot orga or wherever you get your podcast. Now it's hee and rock. Hwn and rock. Yeah How do you hue something in Rck? With a chisel. There's only one hue in rock and it's Hueie Lewis And the news is we got this of Market hows available every week on maximfund dot org. I walked right into that A Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like. That's hard to sell in a promo like this, so we've enlisted the help of piano roock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take it away, real Billy Joel! Cdy Rck's been on L sign, Worstonsshire, Circle Time, Seg good drink us se' a salad tower of Anord. Keep me up be time capsules, Wayne's, World cheheese Bulls, Wallace, St even, Stonky Gong fun size al Mmentoy They didn't stop the podcast. Except that's not true. They didn' twenty two. They didn't stop the fodcast. No, they actually did. That was back a bib. Listen to Wonderful everyvery Wednesday on maximumfund dot org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, real Billy, Joel. No problem Griffin Judge Sehan Hodsman we're taking a break from the case. Our thanks to everybody who came out to see us in Brookline, Massachusetts at the Coolidge Corner Theater And all the folks who got on that boat with us in May, not least the crew of that boat that we got on in Maine. What an incredible and wonderful adventure it was to get to do that activity. With you, John, and with all our new friends. Thank you so much for joining us if you did on the Grace Baile. and thanks to Mark Evan, Jackson, Suusanna and Captain Sam, and Fiji the Cat for hosting us. Go check out sailgrracebailey dot com d And you can take an incredible journey by sail through the through the Penobscott Bay region of Maine, one of the most beautiful places in the world. Indeed, the Grace Bailey will be sailing in September. They get together with a bunch of the other ships, the windjammer fleet that are these historic schooners that sail around that area and they all tie up together and they have what's called a gam And in September, they're going to be doing it. and I'm going to be joining that gam for a hang If you'd like to to join, go over to sailgrracebailey. com and find out when I'm going to be back on board or just take a cruise whenever you like. I also want to mention something else. Another entrepreneur in Maine is young, thirteen year old Lola Blake A lot of people have complimented me over the past months about my hat here that says, why not KNOT They're like, who made that? And I'm like, Well, Lola Blake did in Maine. She makes all kinds of hats and shirts featuring disastrous nautical themes under the label Sip happppens You should definitely go to my sububstack hodgeman.ubstack. com where I'm featuring a catalog of all of her items, her t shirts and her hats and you can order them directly there her contact information is there Hodgman. sububstack. com or just emailed directly at happens Brooklyn at Gmail. com That's Brooklyn B R O o K L I N not with a Y, but with an I as in Name Jesse, what's on in your life We've had some really incredible guests on my public radio show and podcast Bullseye that I would like to highlight because I think Judge John Hodgman listeners might enjoy listening to them U just very recently, we had a pretty amazing interview with the rapper Juvenile, cash money millionaire juvenile of back that thing up, Fame among other things M Yeah I remember that that wonderful song that that thing up Yeah. this is a radio edit was called back that thing up, I think. Yeah. But Juvie the Great, one of the great one of the great rappers in New Orleans history and amazing, vibrant, charming fellow We had speaking of hip hop a great incredible interview with the Irish, mostly Irish language R group kneecap from Belfast, Northern Ireland Um they are incredible advocates for Irish cultural identity and incredible musicians as well who have really been through it lately. They were arrested after coming on stage in England not long ago. And I definitely recommend checking out that conversation. And next week on the program, John, Realistically, Judge John Hodgman listeners, this is what they want to hear on Bulls Eye with Jesse Thorne The hosts of Taskmaster Whoa We've been working on getting we've been working on getting these task Master boys on Bullseye for months finally happening next week. So go listen to the host of Task Master Go make sure you're subscribed to Bullsseye with Jesse Thorne, so you don't miss that conversation. And of course, it is dad's and grads season still as well as summer wedding season. I hope that you will do your dad's and grads and summer wedding shopping at putthnshop. com antique and vintage store. There is a treasure for everyone at putthsnhop. com Let's get back to the case Please rise as Judge John Hodchman re enters the courtroom and presents his verdict Eric and Allison, you may be seated. so First of all, this is a little makeshift gavel that I'm going to use today By little makeshift gavel John you mean standard gavel Yes, well, because my huge gavel, as everyone knows, was confiscated by airport security in San Francisco Offerman Woodshop and I are we finally we finally got have agreed on the wood. It's going to go into the new giant gavel In the meantime, I'm choosing a book from my personal collection to throw at the winner of every case. In this case, it's a copy of The Purple Place for Dying by John D MacDonald It is number something or other, number six. in the Travis McGee Mysteries. I got this one at the bigig Chicken barn in Maine I have read it. I'm not going to read it in this edition again, so I'm going to throw it to you. It's a wonderful series of crime novels starring Tvis Mceee who kisses a lot of people And none of them are perfunctory. Ieed Travis McGee Now I think about it has a very a very profound and sensitive ethos about when and when it is not appropriate to hug and kiss a person And and obviously consent is a big part of that. It is a complicated issue, you know, we there are Our relationships in our marriages and our partnerships are full of all kinds of perfunctory gestures of love, you know, that are not necessarily toxic. I mean You know, make it a point to always say, I love you before going to bed. makeake it a point to not go to bed mad makeake it a point to, you know, tell people that you care about them. And I guess there are definitely times when you just sort of kiss someone goodbye. just to get it off the list. you know, just to remind yourself and your loved one Hey, I care about you Not necessarily like I'm going to walk outside and hit by a boulder But there is a little bit of that fatalism behind it. I understand you're Hesitation towards perfunctory shows of expressions of physical affection. I get it Um, but, you know, they're they're they're part of they're part of life and they're not necessarily destructive or as they say, toxic parts of life Um Except in this case U Sorry to say, Eric U I was thinking a lot about superstition lately. It so happens that I was thinking about it a couple of nights ago because, you know, when my Mom passed away twenty six years ago. she died of cancer and it was a sudden diagnosis in a fairly rapid progression, and it was totally through our lives upside down and reminded me the way I think we always have to remind ourselves from time to time that life is Not exactly dangerous because that's just a quick trip to phhobia territory. But, you know, short and to be to be appreciated, you know and that it can change very, very quickly And that's part of the reason why We say in our family, I love you because he, we mean it and B, we just want to make sure that that's expressed rather than not having it be expressed, you know I don't know if kissing does the same ays the same role in our family because there isn't a lot of it. we mostly just write thoughtful letters to each other instead. Point I'm trying to make is that when my mom passed away, my mom was a laps Catholic to the point of pure atheism And I was never raised religiously to the point of now very, very deep seated fatalistic agnosticism I don't really I wish I had seen a ghost at camp because then I might have some deep ingrained faith that there might be an afterlife. I don't really have a deep distinctive sense that there is. But both my mom And I, but first my mom towards the end of her life started saying the Lord's prayer Wellur Father who art in heaven,all the n name, etcera, et ceter. We all know O God or whatever, right And then after she passed away, I started saying it before going to bed It wasn't a superstition, right? It was a ritual, a ritual. And it was a wholesome ritual. It was, you know, as Adam Savage has often said, he doesn't believe in God necessarily, but he does believe in prayer. this moment of checking in with oneself and with the universe and and saying some words or just accepting some silence to acknowledge the shared experience we're all going through to try to connect with memories of people that we care about who are no longer there. to try to meditatively take in the moments that are precious and fleeting around us as they happen, you know? And I believe in all of that stuff But what started out as a very comforting ritual now twenty six years ago is still a nighttime routine for me. that unfortunately has become a prison Everything that I don't like about religion, which is this idea that if you say the wrong thing about God or whatever You're going to be punished and burned in hell. the fear of religion is, I think, just a method of profoundly growross social control and frankly, a lot of it's a financial grift Come at me, people of face I mean, I believe in faith and I don't I don't judge others, even in the role of Judge John Hodgman for whatever their faith journeys are. But that kind of that style of religion If I don't do X, then something bad will happen I mean, I learned the hard way that something bad will happen no matter what and you have nothing to do with it and it has nothing to do with how good a person you are or how many bad things you do I mean, don't smoke cigaretes, you know what I'm saying That kind of fear based life is not fun It is not fun to live in, it is not fun to be in. and unless you are truly a kind of faith that it's like if you do everything right, you're going be In some other place after you pass away, it is a profound waste of your time and life And I had to really decide and this is coincidental, by the way, that I had to stop saying that prayer Um, because It had become a compulsion And it because it built in a fear that if I didn't say it silently to myself Not just before I go to bed, but if I woke up in the middle of the night, which by the way, I'm turning fifty five in two days. I'm waking up in the middle of the night three times a night every night Having to say that over and over and over again No longer as a testimony to my love for my mom or an attempt to remember her, but to stave off this feeling that something bad will happen if I don't say it. That's not how I want to live my life. It's not how I want to spend my nights So instead, of course, I recite Frank Herbert's the Litany against fear That's how you get away from fear. I do that now ritualistically The pointo is that the superstitions that I do have Not toasting with water, the dumb things, not saying Macbeth, not saying Mike Mitchell on a podcast, not I mean, I stopped. I I have I want to no no, I'm a brave person. I have stood in the bathroom and watch that toilet flush all the way down. I've not been possessed by the devil becausecause I know that I still have that little twinge. And the little bit of happiness that I might get of getting out of the bathroom on time, the way you expressed, Eric doesnn't make up for the day over day over day. Um, like Soul damage that feeling that the world is magical and if you don't say or do a certain thing, It's all going to go sideways J not how the world works. And I don't think you need to do that psychic damage to yourself Even if your kisses are like mine, psychic kisses. And I think entwining it with a kiss Mbe you kiss your spouse and then they go off to work or whatever. I guess there's some superersstishes there suuperstition there, whatever, but assigning it per so one to one. to a safety kiss and a kiss being something that's supposed to be an expression of communion and joy instead of warding off some evil spirit I just don't I don't know whether that baby is going take that lesson from what you guys are doing. If I were to ruin in your favor, Eric That baby's probably thinking about clouds. I don't know what that baby's gonna think about But I do think that like there is a there there's a significant difference even between A safety kiss and a safety high five, evenven a safety high five I feel It's a little celebratory gesturere like come on, let's go. And in that spirit, a kiss is fine too. Come on, let's go. I love you. Here we go on our adventure. But if it's I gott to kiss you or else We're gonna drive off a cliff or if I don't do this You know, even a safety high five is less provocative and kind of problematic than the kiss, which is supposed to be Even when it is perfunctory, it's supposed to be joyful and hopeful not Fearful So yeah, no way you can do that safety kiss, I'm sor makeake your checklist. I mean, you've been doing it fine and you've lived without it for all this time And obviously, if your spouse says, ye, I don't want to kiss you under those circumstances, that tend to be when you listen And look, I know that you do. You brought it to us, you know, for fun to have this conversation. And I'm glad you did, right I mean, I know you don't want me to bang this gabble or throw this book at you and say Alice knew must kiss her husband when he demands it. Obviously not But I'm still grateful that you brought the conversation because it really made me think a lot about superstition. Again, and I think that it's valuable to talk about that. What kind what kind of magical thinking do you want to have in your life And how do you make that magical thinking? if it is, for example, faith? How do you make that life affirmative and not life punitive So it's good it's good that we talked about it O obviously I'm ruling in Al Allison's favor, Allison I'm going sending you this book of Purple Place for Dying. I'm going to be honest with you. It's not my favorite of the Travis McGees, but they're all quite good I think this one takes place in the West This is the sound of a gavel I' throw this book at Eric This is the sound of a little gavel It's not enough. We need a big one. We're going to get it. Thanks offfferman would chop. Touch down Hotin rules that That is all Please rise as Judge Jn Njman exits the courtroom Well, Eric, I think we heard how you feel about this Yeah, I mean, it's not It's not exactly the ruling I wanted, but I think it's within the spirit and I'm happy Allison, how are you feeling? Oh feeling pretty good. Yeah What are you imagining for your future in the car? Uh just yeah, going through the safety protocols and uh And I might throw in an I love you before we drive off, yeah. Oh to everyone in the car Eric Allison, thanks for joining us on the Judge John Hodgbins podcast Thank you Another judge John Hodgman case is in the Our thanks to Reditor Pil Philadelphia for naming this week's episode pecks and balances. If you want to name a future episode, join us on the maximum fun subreddit. That's our slash maximum fun. That's where we usually ask for your suggestions. And you can also see all of the dumb and wonderful suggestions of all of your fellow Redditors there. You can also chat about the show on Reddit at our slash maximum fun We're also on Instagram, on Blue Sky and on other social media platforms. J search for Judge John Hodgman Photos are posted on our Instagram account. That is Instagram dot com slash Judge John Hodgman. We're also on TikTok and YouTube at Judge John Hodgman Pod. follow and subscribe to see All kinds of Judge John Hodsman podcasts Content, including stuff from this episode to today Jesse Thorn, I'm here in New York City at Techna house Where Jacob, would you say that the city is in the grips of Nick fever right now? Oh Nick fever basketball Kickerbckers fever. I don't know what's going to be happening when this episode comes out, but the Kicks are in the The playoffs the finals, right? The finals, The National Basketball Association fininals. Yeah. And I got a question for you Would you rather if you were going to go sit courtside in a Nick game Would you rather be a guest of Timothy Chalomeay and Kylie Jenner or Tracy Morgan and Tina Fay. I think I probably know your answer, Jesse Spike Lee is my answer. Spike Lee is my answer. I interviewed him one time on Bullseye and he delivered such delightful Fire hose of Spike Lee And I think it would be so fun to hear him try and have personal relationships with basketball players who are the moment that he is trying to build his relationship with them playing in the NBA final. Yeah, no, I mean that would be amazing. But what I'm looking for is an either or Jesse. There is no Morgan and Tina Fe. It's Tracy Morgan and Tina Feay. Hey, everybody, whether it's sports or anything else, send me your either ors. We want some either or cases. Oh. One or the other. Would you rather type cases for an upcoming docket or maybe we'll find a way to build it into a real case Send all of your cases into maximumfund. org slash jjHo. Also you can email me directly at Hodgeman HO DGMAN at maximumfund. org Send us your either oars, your wooder rathers, your best party stumpers And maybe we'll take you to the next game. That's not a fair offer and we're not going to. Jesse, we're interested in other cases too, right? No matter what your case is, we need it at maximum fund. org slash jj H o. I have been reading and enjoying, you know, your New York Times column net Cleette Cn. was it c called Column Cumn cololumnilia. I don't know, a little tiny column. It's been featured more heavily in the Times magazine online lately. Yes, that's true And it has great illustrations now and you have been writing poll response choices for the cases. I have really been getting a kick out of those and enjoying seeing what people's choices are amongst those poll response options. Yeah, like people write in and say like my husband wants to kiss me before we go driving in a car, who's right? and I'll be like Well, either A, you're right, and I'll say a thing or B, your husband's right or C, it's the children who are wrong. or something like that. That's how it works.. It's a lot of fun. And it reminded me I went in the comments for one of those and somebody was like, how do I submit a case We need cases of all kinds because sometimes they go in the column Sometimes they go on stage. Sometimes they go here on the podcast, sometometimes they go in a docket, sometimes they go in a membo mail bag. Sometimes I drive slow, sometimes I drive fast. Exactly. so go to maximumfund. org slash JJ HO and Submit them. Now John. Yeahah Something really important has happened. Yeah, tell me all about it, Jesse. I think I know where you're going with this. and this is really important. We talk about Pennsylvania Media personality, Lynn Cullen on the Judge John Hodman podcast a few weeks ago. One of our listeners sent our show to Lynn Cohen who is still working in the Pittsburgh area. Lynn Cohen was the host of the Pennsylvania game, public television The Pennsylvania Tvia TV show So we talked about and we really enjoyed Lynn Cullen on that show and talked about her and someone someone sent it to her is what you're saying. She She really is there do it, John. I'm gonna get your reaction. to her reaction, Right? Let's take a look Why am I blanking on his name? Jeff? wasas it Jeff sent me a YouTube thing yesterday It's a YouTube show. called v was the name of the episode and it's Rar is a guy named Jen. John Hi you been And he said The guy who sent it to me, Hey This latest episode Heunctions you Qwite a lot and u And the Pennsylvania game, the that public television game show that I Was on A lot of scared Back in the nineties So he sent me the YouTube thing. So I am watching it. and first of all, I don't comprehend that it's like these four guys. It's called a sitting around a podcast they aare. And this Hodgeman has a I mean, he actually does writing for the New York Times. You would't know it by watching this thing. And they do this silly thing where someone judges some stupid thing So we had two people on, both of whom saying that this game show was the best One of them was saying the Pennsylvania game, which he'd just discovered This is a guy in Chicago was the best public Game show And then they had another guy from New York sure did memorize where people were from. What saying no. It's this one called So you know you know. think you know Maine. Main. She checked her notes to make sure that it was so you know, you know Maine. Say it right Lynn What Do you remember the I'm a Mac? I'm a PC commercials? John Hodgman was the I'm a PC guy. It's true. It's true you were Anyway I it was over an hour long and I thought This Wow. So I started fast forwarding through it and here's what I can tell you A Six fifeen thirty Sixteen minutes in. get that? They fact time get around to saying something about the Pennsylvania game Oh, I'm sorry we didn't devote the entire episode to you Lyn And four minutes after that, twenty twenty after They show up And it's a clip of me Pennsylvania again And they go nuts I mean, they go eff and Nghing amazing. That's why laughing. They think Everything is so eff and funny. They said, I think to a man Whoa, Lyn Cullen's kinda hot I mean Do you know what a thrill that is to be an almost eighty year old woman and to see a bunch of guys saying you're hot Now granted. We're be talking about this iteration. But Lim, there I am and you know, hot bigig hair out to here and speak. And they're saying she's kind of hot And then they really liked me, man Judgond said she's a tremendous personality. and they said flashy and amazing and really funny One of them called me a loose cannon I don't know who said that. I think that was. And then they got I don't know why Ione think that about L. So you know you know Maine Yeah. And as soon as they pop that thing up, Jjgmond said about the guy that down to the screen Wow. That's no Lycom Why are you mad Why are you mad Why I live? gotta tell you. You Manda? I was That is it's so weird. And one of the things Hodsman was talking about is the main show is much more serious about the actual knowing stuff about main history And good impress serious And of me. The Pennsylvania. love bab. It was clearly more about entertainment Well, no question of entertainment. But in the end The Pennsylvania game won. Lyn Enainment, Cullen. She didn't She didn't. I mean if you ever, if you do want to look at it, Uh, uh It's trivial lawsuit. It's on YouTube, I guess, right? Trivial lawsuit. Hey, we're putting a link right here. I think the most recent episode, may thirteenth twenty twenty six I found an incredibly boring exxcept for the parts where they were raraving about me It's summery. but wow. so Od Ultimately, the Bible is a big book about God Thank you for listening to my presentation. I guess he writes for the All right. You wouldn't know it, but. you wouldn't know it by listening. All we did all we did, all we did was marvel at what a wonderful show it was What an incredible performer she is and she still is Yeah, she s incredible. I don't remember saying that she was hot I said that Well, you know what? she was and she still is I'm'm I'm thinking back and I'm thinking to myself NLD. No lies detected And in terms of her pooping on me a little bit, look, I could take it. I understand We know our show is boring. Yeah, we get it But it was all out of love, Lynn Thor tries to show this to me make me mad because I got to be on blank check for Master and Commander, but I'm not mad. And by the way If you know anyone else who has ever had a reaction to one of our verdicts, film it and put it on YouTube That big fun, Joh Pennsylvania disputes I'm going text to my favorite Pennsylvanian former Jordan Jesse Go producer Brian Fernandez right now and find out what his Pennsylvania disputes are. I think they're already pouring in. If I'm frank with you, John, I think they're already pouring in. You know who I want a Pennsylvania is it disputes or trivia questions or both Both. Snd them in You know who I want some from Herry Gross. Philadph