Aftermath and Final Thoughts

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There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left. When the cannibalism started. Who's that? I'm excited for today. Why? Because we get to cover something. Serious. It's been so long since we have. Are we finally covering cancer? Yes. I mean, talk about numbers. Honestly. Talk about heavy hitters. Real heavy hitter. Yeah, cancer. In many ways, I think cancer should be the fourth head on the Mount Rushmore of Evil. Well, just all cancers. Just cancer. Every cancer. Yeah. Okay. All right, just cancer in general. Sure. But then the heads keep regenerating and regenerating and regenerating. You have to go back every six months and check. All right. Fine. I'll do it. I'll learn everything there is to know about cancer. And then you'll be a doctor. Yeah. I always wanted to be a doctor. This is how I can do it. One of my bucket list like items was to be an oncologist. Really? Yeah. That's your bu way you can. Yeah, my bucket list. Yeah. See, I gotta see the pyramids. Uh-huh. Become an oncologist. Uh, I have to learn to bake bread. See the pyramids the second time. Yeah. And then I am allowed to commit suicide. Really? Yeah. It's interesting. I always mine Storm a cockpit. Wow. And maybe we can do that this week when we're on our way out of town. This episode today. It's truly special. It's led by me. Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah. Welcome to Last Podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. By the way, my name's Marcus Barks. Thank you, Marcus. Here with our our leader for the day, Henry Zabronski. Fuck you. A man who's been, I don't know, you've been into engineering lately. You've been into Knowing like how things work. The the nuts and bolts. Do you know me as it were. I'm a cross and tees, dot and eyes, detail oriented motherfucker. Yes, you are. Yes. Certainly not broad struck's big time ideas guy. I'm very much in the weeds, getting granular, and that's what we're doing today. And speaking of granular Ed Larson's covered in crumbs. How you doing? I wish I actually uh my my breakfast was yogurt. So if I'm covered in crumbs, I don't know how that happened. That's dangerous. Today starts with this is something special. Cause one of my favorite aspects of the capital P phenomena Is the diversity of its populace. And it is true. Cause much like Q Gardens. The universe is filled with an unlimited amount of species willing to sell you. embryos as an hors d'oeuvre. You love it. It's quite good. Because when you go to contact in the desert, it's like Ninety nine percent white. Except for the white guys that dress like black guys and the white guys that dress like Indian guys. Yes, you're right. You're right, you're so the common types of alien we encounter are normally in C E threes and C E fours. So most of our audience you close encounters, you mean? It's the C E three and C E four. It's my fucking episode. This is my fucking episode. And it's not an organized true crime war. Not even everyone in the room knew what you were talking about. Well we'll see right here, right? Right? Because I feel like most of our audience can name off the top of their head. the large sampling of aliens we normally meet in encounters. C3PO Yeah. We're getting to it. You're getting ahead of the goddamn story. Okay? So we got the grays, tall grays, tall whites, Nordics, the draconians, Pleiadians, Bigfoots, Floating Orbs, Energy Beings. There's tiny blue guys, completely clear guys. And aliens with huge tits and and huge fucking great butts that we have covered them all. We know that that exists. We do because of the guy that painted all the paintings of the gray alien that he lost his virginity to who had huge. David Huggins. Yeah, David Huggins. That alien was stacked. Hold on, so a guy who drew the big titted alien's last name was Huggins? His name was Huggins. Actually I have one of his paintings in my office. Oh I have it's a print, but Beautiful. It's better than being Fuckins. Fantastic uh documentary called Love and Saucers about uh David Huggins. It's really good. Yeah. And a great soundtrack too. Okay. But now we cover today what I f really consider to be the red headed stepchild of all of the aliens in the whole goddamn world. And this is surprising to me. I had never thought about this before. It's true. Encounters with the robot. The robot robots. Yes. So the the only way to properly pronounce robots in today's episode is to call them robots. These are very much robots. Yes. Robots to me it's different than a robot, right? A robot is something you see around and it's it's very like like I would put it like Very much. From the Jetsons style, the maid. That's a robot. Okay. But a rubit. Which is what we're seeing here today. That's more like the food delivery, guys. But with shooting white clouds of gas that will knock you out. I would get more behind it if it did that. Wouldn't that be fucking cool? Yeah. But see, robots are people are don't ever really talk about these experiences because I think it's b due to fear of ridicule. Pause it. There are seeds of truth. In every encounter. With a nineteen fifties style beep boop metal robot alien. Yes, every encounter that we will cover today will involve a lost in space, aluminum tube, armed, whirly gig capped automaton who speaks in letters and gestures. That's what we're covering. The tin man is here, and he's taking your blood. These tales are about the highest. Of high strangeness, truly outliers in a world of unique experience. It really surprised me when you brought up the alien and robot idea. Uh I had never thought that there should be far more robots in alien lore than there is. You'd think that if the aliens are coming to our they'd send probes, they'd send But you know, advanced scouts, they'd send robots. These alien truth liars really fucked up. You're correct. You're correct. Now robots I also feel like because they're all so strange, it's also it's very regional and it really comes down to The psychic part of the event. As far as I'm concerned. Now before we begin, I'd like to thank Joel and Rachel for helping put together this extremely important and relevant topic. Relevant to what? Robots. There are several sources here that I will list on the internet because most of them are magazines. They are magazines. They're thick magazines. Yeah, and hey, I've been getting back into magazines lately. You know, it's my dream to one day publish a magazine. Oh what do you want to call what what do you call it? Uh I mean the uh the working title right now is Font. Um that's just a working Font magazine. I love Funt. Funts and guns. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Funts and ammo. Have you had your filled with Font? I love Fun and Ammo. Yeah. Font and ammo is fun. Well, here we go. Our first tale of robot terror. is the abduction of Antonio LaRubia. Sometime between 212 and 220 a.m. exactly, on September 15, 1977. Antonio was driving home from his job as a bus driver on the outskirts of the tranquil beach city of Pacencia, Brazil. When he saw an unusual object in the field. Antonio would estimate the craft to be over 230 feet long. It was a dull gray. Shaped like a bucket hat. Like an all timey bucket hat? I think they've always been the same shape. No. Antonio LaRubia, he's the um radio personality that got caught taking upscirt photos. Was that his second wife? I don't know what he did after the subduction. This object was so alien to Antonio. Scared him half to death. After pulling over to see if he indeed was seeing what he was seeing, he felt intense fear. He bolted away from the object in the field, but suddenly found himself immobilized by a bright blue light. Mysteriously what is described as an electric pole appeared before him. He called it an electric pole. All of this is being translated loosely from Portuguese. Okay. So when he says certain things, you're like, okay, so when it says that when he Antonio says a mysterious electric pole appeared in front of him. That's all I can really comment upon. Gotcha. Okay. So Antonio Stripper? We'll get there. You'll see. This is the entire encounter. It might get a little sexy. Or not. Antonio wasn't able to move or speak. You know, the Brazilians do get sexier with with uh because the other story that we talked about in which a man had sex with an alien multiple, multiple times, also came from Brazil. Really? I think they're hornier. And Brazil went to like straight up war with the aliens, too, right? Yes, there was attacks. That was Jacques Vallee. famously covered. All of this like he covered all they're very aggressive in pronunciation. High murder rate. Here is. We gotta be careful. Over the robots. Soon realized, as he was immobilized, that he was surrounded by three or four or bar for lack of a better term, robots. They were around four feet tall with nearly featureless metal football-shaped heads, had spinning antenna sprouting from its tip. For eyeballs, they had a reflective strip. No necks. Body shaped like an oval plated with dull aluminum scales with two arms that came to points. For your viewing clear, this is Antonio's witness depiction. Please, boys, describe it. I feel like I could draw it better. Even though I've never seen it. Antonio was very scared. I would say that the the the bottom uh structure. looks like um like a barber chair the coal that a barber chair is on and the top of it is kinda in the shape of a magneto's helmet. You know this looks way better. Yeah this is a better rendering. This is a rendering. Someone did a 3D rendering of it. But it looks like someone just like took the half of a corpse of an alien and put it on a stick. Who knows? Yeah, because there's like a little almond head almond shaped head on the top with and it it actually has an old school antenna. That's what I like about it, it has an antenna. I guess it would make sense. Why would the aliens come here themselves when they can just send droids? Yeah. Well of course. Or are they already bio mechanical machines that appear organic. So you think that the the the aliens are m are robots. We'll find out. Next thing we know. And yes, Rob, you are right. It does kind of look like Tom Servo. It does look like Tom Servo. Correct. But this is before Tom Servo. Yeah. If something's been off in the bedroom, you're not the only one. A lot of guys wait longer than they need to take action. The difference now? Getting real treatment is simple. And through HIMS, it's 100% online. Hims connects you with licensed healthcare providers online, giving you simple access to legitimate E D treatment options from home. No awkward appointments, no pharmacy lines. Just complete a simple online intake and a provider will review your information to determine if treatment is right for you. 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Courage. I learned it from my adoptive mom. Hold my hand? Hand Learn about adopt a team from foster care at adoptuskids.org. You can't imagine the reward. Brought to you by Adopt U.S. Kids, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and the Ad Council. Live from your way. So Antonio was encased all of a sudden in a giant glass jar. As he floated helplessly as a gherkin, the three robots smoothly floated towards his prone body. Antonio noticed their so-called legs. A skinny pole with a foot on the end. And deduce they must be hover sticks. Because not a single robot pogoed. Absolutely. But he found I think that's what he thought that they would bounce, but when they just slid towards him, it frightened him. And hover stick. That sounds like a drug slang. That's what I want. Yeah. That's what I had last night. You already fucking smoke a hover stick? That's a good future drug and it just makes you float like six inches for like twenty minutes. I'm supposed to go to the my my fucking spin class. So one of the robots extended an appendage towards Antonio. He saw that instead of a hand at the end of the tapered arm, there was a syringe-like needle. The robot crept closer with his needle hands when the scene suddenly changed, and Antonio found himself and his robot junky companions inside the UFO. 'cause the needles. Like he's he was in a glass jar in the middle of a field and now he's in a UFO. Yeah, he's in a UFO. There's a lot of this in this episode. Outside of the glass. He's no longer in the glass jar. No now he's he's been transported. You sure it's just an Antonio Bordane? Yeah, it would be much sadder. And one of those robots would be Asia Argento. Looking to steal his life force. I saw someone say how there was a meme about him and it's like oh he had life figured out. And I'm like Well he did. Yeah, that's right. He chose his way out. Just like our hero Jeffre Epstein. So he could feel like So he could feel the craft lift off. And he suddenly got nauseated. The walls were translucent too and provided a view of their ascent into the clouds. That's when Antonio was bombarded by blue lights. and he found himself in the UFO's business center. Antonio came into a large circular room only to see that he was surrounded again. Two dozen rubut aliens line the walls of the chamber standing in stark toaster like silence. He regained the ability to speak And shout it at the alien robots. Que was éclair. Ouais, ma revue. What do you want? I don't know how to speak Portuguese. That is close, I think. I think it's close. What do you want? Who are you? And the power of his Portuguese offense was too much for them. Just the strength of his yelling knocked the two dozen alien robots to the ground. Now this must have pissed him off or something, because Antonio was in zap with the disorienting wall lights again. The robot aliens c rose from the floor of the craft and began to breathe loudly. This scared Antonio because in his own words. We're robots meeting. In what world would robots do. I'm so glad you're good at this. So glad you're doing this correctly. In a blink of an eye. It's just sort of my father's law. You're correct. In a blink of an eye, the alien robots. Pointed their needle hands at their head spinnies and made them hard. Huh? They were spinning and then they got hard. Okay. Right? Then they stopped spinning and became spoon like. Antonio specifically said like a teaspoon. Maybe in hindsight, this is some form of truce offered from the robot aliens, because that's when they decided to show him some dirty movies. Oh Needles and Spoons go together. I'm not from Lynard's Kinder. Yeah. A box materialized in front of Antonio. Six inches wide, standing on two poles about five feet high. So exact. It had antennae sticking out of it and piano keys on its side like a transistor accordion. The alien robins glided over and began to futz with syringes and belts sticking out of the side of the stupid television. Then images began to appear. Humans love pornography. Show him the pornography. We will calm him down. Show him the pornography. Let me put my hover stick inside of you. You like it too much. So Antonio first saw a video of himself vomiting and shitting himself. Now according to Ufologist Iran Granci, who interviewed Antonio to capture this encounter for all time, Antonio insisted that no matter what it was shown on the video, he never once shot himself. He wanted to be clear. Never once during this encounter did he ever shit himself. Everything else that happened. Absolutely true. But it is true that he saw a video of himself shitting and vomiting and shitting himself. Yes. How did he know that he was shit was there a close up on like his the pants seat and it suddenly turned brown and wet? All it's saying is the alien showed him a video of him vomiting and shitting himself. Okay, I'm pretty sure it's like Camera goes 360 as his pants fill with shit. That's how I'd imagine. It was very shaggy. It wasn't me. I would not do that. But I am again. I want to remove my pants. I'm going to shit. Or maybe on the video, maybe he said like Uh shitting my pants! Oh no Everybody get away from me I am shitting my bags You see that you are shitting your bands in the video? I did not and I we ain't nothing shitting my bits So the tons You shad more than any other human we have abducted. Always deny everything. Always deny The robot aliens use a device then to forcefully raise Antonio's arm. This is when they use their needle tips to suck blood at the very top of his middle finger. Alien robot doctor did a test on his blood by spraying it on the walls. Using his needle hands filled with blood, he drew three red circles on the wall of the craft and then traced L's inside so they look like pie charts. It seemed to be good news. Ah You got three L's! Three L's. Put like a needle thumbs up. Very. Antonio was presented with the screen again. This is when a Alejandro Jodorowski movie starring Antonio made by the Alien Robots played on the project. So here's a series of images that were kind of like a moving film slideshow. These are actually sort of beautiful. I really love the sequence. I wanna do this. Someone should film this. Yeah. First was an image. Let's not talk about that. It's coming. It's coming. We're working on it. First was an image of Antonio, nude on the table. Two robot aliens or shining lights on his genitals. Second, Antonio, nude, just standing there. Third scene. Now Antonio was clothed, carrying an empty shopping bag. His teeth chattered loudly. I find a feel like him walking in with bag and then cut too close up with his face going like that. And then in the background you hear like. Fourth scene. Horse and bucky slowly ambling down a dirt road. A dirty barefootted pedest in the driver's seat. Fifth cut. It's an orange ball! Antonio stands next to it. Symbolism. What? Symbolism. Sixth image. Sixth image. Now the bowl's blue. An alien robot stands next to it. What does it mean? Seventh image! A rabbit dog barks at one of the alien robot. In reaction, the robot alien melts from top to bottom like porridge. That's trippy as fuck. That's fucking awesome. I want to see this. This is all very 1977. Oh yes it is, buddy. No, I've actually bought a huge stack of uh old underground 70s comics back in Cincinnati. They're all like this. Uh every time there's a sci fi story, it's just th it's this. Wow. It's fucking trippy. It's like an elegant. It's cool. You don't have to explain everything. No. Leave it hanging. Eighth image! A high-def landscape shot of an alien world. In the center of the picture, a giant UFO manufacturing plant staffed and populated by millions of the alien robots. He saw three rows of UFOs in various stages of construction. Portuguese blood. Ninth image. A Japanese manufactured train popular in Brazil plowing its way through a tunnel. Everything reminds me of her. Tenth image, cut to an image of live traffic in Rio de Janeiro for some reason. And then the scenario came to an abrupt halt. Yeah, that's Very good Rowski. Traffic sucks. Exactly. Antonio felt the sensation of being thrown overboard. Antonio tripped out of the Tron world and landed directly in the middle of the street around the corner from the Pacencia train station. He was accompanied by one last alien robot. Antonio realized his clothing had reappear on his body, and he checked his watch. 220 a.m. The exact time he was abducted. Wait, so he had been naked in the fire the whole time? It seemed. Ah It seemed, yes. All right. And so basically he just had a little dream. No bewildered Antonio look towards the heavens. There he saw the large dark smooth bottom of the UFO float up. Uh. Until it was gone. The vision of the craft rising was shared by a local town drunk who told many other drifters about it in vain attempts for free rot gut whiskey. So they did have the actual scene where like the drunk guy looks up and goes, What throws away the ball. I'm getting too old. Antonio did not tell his wife about the abduction. I wonder if my daughter's still alive. Nah, she's bad. Definitely didn't tell her about the PowerPoint movie presentation. Of him shitting himself. He did not. I did not shit myself. For two days. And Donio said his bowels were loose and miserable. No. He insists. He continued to insist he would. Never shit himself. Not on the UFO, not afterwards. He wanted that to be clear. Yeah, they were losing miserable, but they were under control. But I still had control within the week, Antonio needed to quit his job due to the increasing extremity of his illness. He walked into work to quit when he told his boss he had difficulty breathing and a burning and itching on the inside of his body. Eventually a nurse at the job site checked his temperature. He was running 103 degree fever. To make him feel better, Antonio's boss had a fellow employee hit him with the hose outside. This young man described Antonio going pale, claiming his skin was green as grass. Huh? But it's like you have just been like, Why don't you go cool him off the hose? Antonio was just the beginning. This was just at the beginning of a month long debilitating illness due to his encounter with the alien robot doctor filmmaker people. kidnapped him that day. Modern medicine failed this man. I think it does. Antonio did go to the doctor and he did get tested and they had the gall to tell him he was physiologically and psychologically normal. This is why self advocacy in healthcare is so important. Absolutely, especially if you're a woman. Yes. Presumably Antonio is now somewhere in good health. He would be around eighty years old. And I'm sure his bowels are in tip top shape now. Yeah. Every 80 year old man we know, you know, has full and total control over his bowels. And they are in love with them. Depends. Cute. Cute. That's good. I like that. I just also want to you know, guys, that our researchers and the wonderful researchers. They gave me so much context for a bunch of these different stories. And I'll tell you what. I fucking stripped it. It took it all out. Wow. Yeah. It took all the context out. Wow. It wasn't I'm not gonna get into the context of the next story. Because it would add twenty five minutes to the show. Sure. But how did it start? We'll see. Our next tale of encounters with cling clang beep boop beings from outer space takes us through the iron curtain. Oh no, that's that's context gold mine right there. It's too much context. Because basically the ideas is that, you know, sum up and went through a period of time because communism was considered an atheist belief system as the wall was gonna come down and the systems were collapsing, they were getting more interested in paranormal and then Russia became like a hot spot for paranormal activity and a lot of that was fueled by the space the uh psychic arms race that we were doing with Russia. Sure. If you get kidnapped by a robot alien in Communist Russia. Are you a fellow traveler? Interesting. We'll find out. Actually I don't understand that. Fellow traveler. That's a communist term. People who are like down with it? Comrade. There's a whole movie about it. What movie? Fellow traveler. Oh wow Yeah, Ed's right here. Sure, good. Well, I'm sure you guys were already guessing what I was gonna talk about. The famous Varunes incident of September twenty seventh, nineteen eighty nine. Yeah. Everyone gets this. Everybody knows this one. On this day in Ufological history, a pack of children had a close encounter of the third kind with the craft and its inhabitants. Mechanical entities in the form of bronzed human statues. Ten children played outside at the railroad tracks in the zone by a local school. When a pink glow overtook the gray Russian skies. Too bad that wasn't the hammer maniacs. Oh man, that would have been fun to see them fucking deal with the aliens and shit. That'd be fucking happy. That's a good movie, dude. That's a really good movie. Save that. A deep red ball about ten feet around descended from the clouds. It circled the group then vanished. The one girl allowed in the child gang, Yulia Shalakova, recounted that the ball reappeared just as suddenly as it left, and hovered above the tree line like it was waiting for them. The tired broken Russian orphans grouped underneath the vessel, and they could do it in the finest uh rough Russian uh orphan style, could you? They could clearly see a hedge opening in the lower part of the ball in the humanoid in the opening. Actually that's more like the guy who feeds the orphans. They could clearly see the head opening and the Lord put the ball in the humanoid in the opening. To the children's horror, entities descended from the craft. Three eyed human like beings. They stood nine to ten feet tall and were dressed in w workmen's uniform, but the overalls were metallic silver and the boots shiny gold. A bronze disc was fashioned to their chests. They were accompanying a humanoid robot that must have been built to resemble its organic handlers. Imagine an actual living statue. With joints and rivets. Yeah, man. H human statues I did not realize that living statues like I was like looking that up, like street performer that acts like a statue. It's just human statue. I thought it would have like an another like name. No, they don't talk. Yeah, human statue. Yeah. But just human statue. Yeah, what do you what would you think they would be called? Like something like Bigarnals? That's as good as any name that could be for them. Yeah. Standard there, guys. Bentles. Bentlemen. That's human statue's Bentlemen. Bentlemen. I'm gonna put it right on here. You know, uh the uh the human statue thing doesn't really make sense because why they like do metallic skin. Yes. Like they're robots. Well, bronze. Well they're bronze statues. But that's silver ones. That would be A silver statue. Rock. That's right. Movie marble. They're not silver, they're they're painted like marble. Paint yourself like marble then. We're killing the audience. We're killing the audience. Alright. The robotic disc man had no nose. And in its place were two holes. Its metal eyes swiveled back and forth instead of moving its neck to look at you. His skin was made of bronze material. His silver overalls and gold boots were just his torso and feet. Cool. All of the crew from the craft glowed in the dark. The robot's handlers turned towards each other. and began to gesticulate. Soon a shining triangle materialized in the air between them. The two disc men touched their robot friend and he activated. Now it doesn't say what happened when he activated, but it terrifyed the children. So imagine it's like a Truly horrific. I imagine it's when they turn on Ed209 in Robocop and goes like Yeah. Oh yeah. Terrified the children. Panic stricken, they attempted to flee. The Rubit's middle eye stuck. and fixed itself on the center of the group. They froze in place, instantly trapped in silence. Another actual like similar detail. Disc Man One produced a two foot long tube from behind his body. It might have been inside his overalls. He brandished this poster tube contraption towards one of the railroad track urchins. Then, magically, the targeted Yeg vanished into the thin air. The robot in his Discman bodyguard's PAs abruptly shuffled back into the Red Ball, now parked on the two-legged kickstand mode. The dark red spheroid ship then lifted off the ground and shot into the sky. Thankfully, the disappeared boy rejoined the group immediately after. We know nothing about him or anything that happened to him. He just disappeared and left and came back and no one asked him no one thought to ask him a single question. So we have no idea what his experience was like. I think that's where they've learned to keep their mouths shut. According to local party newspaper though. journalist happened to be on the scene of the visitation. So he saw the whole thing? That's what he saw. All right. This is where it came from. He managed to get several pull quotes from the beings. This intrepid re uh reporter asked, where were they from? They responded in perfect Russian. The constellation Libra, red star, our homeland. Presumably in Russian. Создается Красное Наша Рабина. Because they are from Libra, they embrace diplomacy balance. But they tend to avoid conflict. Looking at you, famed Libra Bruno Mars. I'm a Libra. The journalists followed up with Wait so are you saying Bruna Arts is difficult? He's a gambler. He's got a good bit of a gambling problem. Well he doesn't want to fa he's got a problem facing conflict. Uh why? Because he favors diplomacy and balance. Okay. It's a Libra's crutch. The journalist. I then guess he followed up with, Will you take me back to your home planet? Because I guess you would have chosen intergalactic slavery over livering in Vorodnev. Yeah, 1989, everyone's trying to get out of USSR. Disc Man one and two denied his desperate request. Applied to the report in the reporter's native tongue. There would be no return for you and it would be dangerous for us. You might bring thought back to you! Yeah, they might bring thought bacteria. I mean, yeah. I think he would. There's a lot of thought bacteria going on in there right now. Oh yeah, I mean some th thought fucking di anti Material chip. Thank you. I'm doing aliens. The red ball and its occupants were gone. Would not return. But they left behind a palpable unease. The children and adults on the periphery said that they felt intense fear for three days after the contact. It was the children of Roznyev. The onion girls and the frozen gasoline runner boys that sought answers to what lay behind the experience they all share. Does gasoline freeze? I don't know. In Russia. And so they transport. It's popsicles there. The taste what it's like. Many were shut down immediately due to the stigma on an encounter with a bronze robot with his disc men soldiers would bring upon their small weak Eastern European families. The cries of these iron curtain youngsters finally cut through the din of criticism. The local party police did indeed launch an investigation, and they found that all of the children repeated the same exact account down to the detail. And when asked to draw what they saw to each child, even the mutant Chernobyl child. Drew a circle on sticks with landing pads that look just like an elephant's foot, which they all knew from the coverage of Chernobyl. Yeah, yeah. Well but was the elephant foot In like the did they Talk about that at all in Soviet Russia? Seems that they wouldn't. I don't know, man. I know about the alien robots. Okay? I throw stuff in here to sort of guess about what the kids might know or might not know. I'm so I don't even know if they have parents or not. I assume they're orphans because they're in Russia. You know what would help with that? Context. But there's no context here, Eddie Context less. Now local party investigators surveyed the scene of the landing. They found holes in the ground the shape and the size of elephant feet that must have been left by the craft's landing gear. Also Two strange red chunks of rock were found. Many believe them to be not of this earth. Eventually everyone moved on and the Vronyv encounter would be lost to the winds of time. Even though this is arguably the biggest story to come out of the USSR in nineteen eighty nine. Yeah. It's a big story. I don't know what overshadowed it. Is that how Gorbachev got the mark? They landed right on his big fucking head. My grandfather had one of those. Really? Yeah, he said he got it from a ceiling falling in on him in uh in World War Two, but I know it was a lie. Yeah. He lied a lot. Yeah, my uncle's got one of those. Really? Yeah. It was more common back in the day. I haven't seen a wine stain in a long time on an a bald man. Yeah. We're gonna bring them back. You'll grow one. If only, hopefully. Just like my pie, pool. The Starbucks Ice Torchata Shaken Espresso is back for the summer. Crafted with cinnamon, vanilla, and nutty notes of toasted rice. Handshaking with smooth blonde espresso, and finished with oat milk for a creamy touch. Made for summer. Only at Starbucks. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile, with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a trymobile.com slash switch. Up front payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms at Mintmobile.com Courage. I learned it from my adoptive mom. Hand Learn about adopt a team from foster care at adoptuskids.org. You can't imagine the reward. Brought to you by Adopt US Kids, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and the Ag Council. Live from your blade. Our final tale is the most mysterious and most action packed of all. This. Was the story of the attack on Donald Trump. Ooh God, it's like a bush cumming. Thank you. Donald Trump lived in Sacramento, California, by the way of Fayetteville. Arkansas. It's Alaska. No, yeah, Arkansas. But that's fine. I just wrote it. I said the proper state, though. Oh. I said the proper state. Arkansas is AR. I don't care. It's a fake state. We should just dissolve the states. AR, Kansas. Dissolve the States. And this is not the home of the other famous experiencer, Chris Bledsoe. The two different the cities are different, and they have nothing to do with each other. Sacramento and Fayetteville Fayetteville, Arkansas and Fayetteville North Carolina. Sure. Yeah, there's a lot of Fayetteville's in America. Double lived a life in pain saddled by scoliosis. And it ruined his plans to join the military. Instead, he lent his talent and life to the aerospace industry with his job as a welder and painter. Good. During the incident, Donald was twenty six years old and he has two buddies actually just been fired from their airspace jobs. The encounter took place over one long evening. September 4th to to the fifth. in the year nineteen sixty four. Shram and his two buddi went to the Taho National Forest for some bow and arrow hunting. It's a good forest. Yes. Killing things in. Mm. They were hunting in what used to be known as gold country, the heart of the Westward movement of America and its search for freedom and easy money. One interesting fact, though, is that the area was so also ridden with natural uranium deposits, one of the known contributing factors to alien abductions like a natural water source. It is interesting there's a lot of uranium, right? Yeah. There is. Let's go get it. Uranium fever. Let's go get it. Yeah. I think it's all gone now. It's not a national forest. Well, I mean now we I guess we can anymore. Yay, it's blowing up. I'm gonna shoot a beaver in the head. I want to die from uranium. Yay. It's much better than dealing with the Libyans. Yeah. The Libyans. So Marty I was saying I want to do a prequel. Young Doc Brown. It's great. Why can't we do it? Yeah, how did he get in contact with the Libyans? I should be Young Doc Brown. You should be. We'll be like middle Doc Brown. Young Doc Brown's in the movie. But young Doc Brown is not young in the movie. But you know what I mean? I think you're I would be a young version of Doc Brown. I think you're actually older now than Christopher Lloyd was when he filmed Back to the Future. Yeah, he was in his thirties. You believe that? That makes shit every day is a fucking other slip slide inch towards the casket, isn't it? And Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's. Fuck That's what's wrong with them. Oh because of the way he's 46. He was 46. Oh, okay. So I'm still technically a young doctor. Alright. I could play forty. So here we go. So the men split up looking for deer. Eventually they went looking for deer in the night. Eventually, Don, he got lost in the ever increasing dark. And he found himself trapped by a sheer cliff face. Right, so he had to double back and he couldn't find anything. And all of a sudden it was getting he was losing all this precious daylight time. All right, and he knew he was in danger. Because as the forest got darker. Night is the time for bears. Oh yeah. Wolves. And yes, hot local cougars. It's true. Staho. Yep. Cougar country. To hide from the realm of predators. Don shimmied up a 25 feet to the top of a pine tree and try to comfortably sleep amongst the needles. Around 9 p.m. A couple of hours after sunset, Don saw a light emerge from underneath the mountainous skyline. It traveled from east to west, and it oscillated up and down. Initially Don thought it might be a flashlight or even a helicopter already summoned by his friends looking for him. Don quickly down the tree. Thinking he was about to be rescued, Don tried as hard as he could to be noticed by this traveling light. He let three small fires and waved his arms wildly, trying to catch his attention. The light suddenly stopped. It instantly zapped over to Don's location and hovered. Now Don could see what the light actually was. It was a matte black cigar shaped vehicle. Panels lining its bottom and a singular light on its tip. Cigar shape very common. Very common. And what scared Don the most was that the craft was entirely silent. Eddie, you take Don. That's what scared me. Don said. I didn't hear any noise at all. The light hovered between two trees and just hung there. And I was pretty sure it was no helicopter. You'd be right. Because his fan his friends couldn't give a fucking shit about it. Immediately Don knew he might be safer back up in the tree. He shimmied back up and remained silent, still hoping the craft would simply leave. It did not. And swept the area around the tree and came to a stop, hovering in front of Don about 50 feet away. This is when Don realized the true size of the graft. He estimated it to be at least 150 feet long and could absorb the light around it. He stared at the ship. Eventually its middle panel on its wide body opened and shot on a little ship. Duncal in a module. And it looked like a tiny version of what he would describe as the mothership. And remember, these are not in the lexicon at the time. This was before the moon landing. Okay. Right? So the idea of modules, he did not really like I guess he m he could have mo maybe have heard it in his industry, but It was not a thing yet. The module scouted the area below the ship and eventually landed right near the spot where Don was hiding in the tree. He said it was also completely silent and a silver dome on top of it that blinked. And it released its inhabitants. A five foot tall, chunky, bedded creature approached Don Sree. The little guy was wearing a one piece silver uniform with bellows on his elbows and knees. Decorative bellows. His head was covered by a tight fitting hood, and its face was dark and featureless. Dom was pretty sure it was wearing goggles. I love workman uniforms on aliens. I wanna make a line. of workmen's uniforms for us that are metallic silver and gold. What are bellows exactly? I don't know what bellows are. I view in my mind, they are just like pirates design. You know how like when you like on robot like in the Lost in Space robot, his whole arms are that kind of crunchy thing. Yeah crunchy, like slinky thing. It's that, but it's just Decorations for Elbows. Alright, cool. It's a designer's choice. I like it. I think it's fun. I think it's maybe c maybe she got it from the Valentino or something. Danger, David Robinson. Danger You remember? So now creature one was soon met by another identical alien. Now notice that they seem to be studying or gathering gathering samples of nearby brush. It's danger, Will Robinson. David Robinson played for the Spurs. I know. The Admiral Who knows. They were j particularly interested in the manzanita, which is an evergreen. Don gathered they were intensely curious about their surroundings. Don stayed as silent as he could to not be noticed. The two creatures worked their way towards Don's tree. He saw as they approached the bottom and looked up at him. He said the eyed and terrified him. They stared at him with their black dog. Guys. Their faces were also flat and black. Don couldn't be sure if it was part of the helmet or their actual face, especially since the nose was lower than any human's was won to be. The aliens admitted cooing noises like birds and commuted back and forth communicated back and forth with the mothership. It would hoot and hoo like owls and the ship would answer back in the same manner. Yeah. Do you think his nose was low so he could smell his own balls? Simply delightful. Another wonderful choice by the alien man! So the nose is right on top of my dick! Yes! Make sure you hold your breath when you're taking a peep in The aliens chose to ignore Don at this point. They focused on looking for something specific. It became obvious they were directed by the sounds of the mothership. The first two guys would eventually be joined by four more identical aliens. They're all looking for something they can't find. Eventually, the first two aliens circled back to Don. He heard an intense thrashing noise coming from the brush nearby. And he was startled to see two huge flashlight orange eyes emerge from the forest darkness and they illuminated what Don called a robot jaw. The robot marched towards Don's tree. As it got closer, he could see that it was in fact a ro humanoid robot in a metallic suit. And not one, but two. Both were slightly shorter than the uniform aliens. The robots had new visible nose and a large hinge square jaws. The robots had a human-shaped hand made of metal, like a suit of armor or medieval gauntlet. And of course. Yeah, they kinda remind me of the the robot in the uh more human than human video. Yeah, white white zombie. You know the robot that was on the uh the cover of the CD of After Creep two thousand. I had the other one with the super sexy sounds uh super sexy swinging sounds. Yeah, that's the one I had. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah. I wasn't allowed to purchase the album. Robots shuffled over the signal fires dumb had lit. They stomped out the fires. Very fire bad! The mothership directed the two evil robots towards dawn, and one of the robots moved its hands up to its square hinge jaw, the robot's jaw opened, and a cloud of white vapor spray out of its mouth, forming a cloud that moved towards dawn. My hover sticking is the evil ski stay up all night. Don didn't smell anything. He gasp for breath and passed out within seconds. It was an Indica. Don is now unconscious. Fatefully the way he positioned his hunting bow caught him before he fell to his death. Afterwards, Don came to believe that he had interrupted the aliens doing some form of investigation. Now that they discovered Don, perhaps they were trying to kidnap him for their extraterrestrial zoo. This whole game about gassing Don, he'd pass out, he'd wake up minutes later, shtick, it'd go on for the entire night. Don would wake up, the robots would unhinge this jaw, emit a gas cloud, he'd knock Don out, minutes later, he'd wake back up. And they tortured him this way for hours. We used to do that as a kid. We'd you know. The knockout game. Yeah, yeah. Don't do it at home. Brain damage. You have to have a spotter. Brain damage. I don't remember much. Now Don knew he was gonna have to fight his way out. Take this, Eddie. He was determined to use every means at his disposal to make it back to his wife, Judy, and his young daughter, Donna. And all he had. It was a 60 pound recurve bow with a 28 inch pull and a bunch of arrows. You don't know what any of that means. I just saw it online. I know it's a big it's a thing. I don't know. It's strong. Two aliens of one of the robots had Don surrounded. Don figured shoot the rivet. He's the one who's going to do the fighting. Don aimed and let the arrow fly, struck the robot in the torso, and when it did, a big arc flash of light filled Don's vision. They scattered the aliens. The arrow pushed the robot back like ten feet, and the aliens followed suit. They were surprised by the attacks. Due to my years of research, I know it's probably because often firearms are not usable in the presence of UFOs. Yeah, no one really tries to use a bow and arrow. But if aliens have been coming here for forever, they would have bow and arrow at some point. Oh yeah, if predator is real, which it is, then then if that's a documentary, then yes, at some point they would have had to run into some form of and or if we saw what's a prey, same thing. They're run tossed at some point. You're right. WHAA Thank you for saying that. No one ever said that. It's so nice to hear. I just gotta say it's so good to hear. Don kept firing arrows to keep him at bay. As he ran out of arrows, he was sure they would counterattack. They never retaliated, but they didn't leave. Don knew from the previous interaction these guys didn't like fire. He hatched a plan. He took out one of the seven books of matches he still had in his pocket. And lit it on fire. I was wondering how he lit those three fires so quickly earlier. Packed with packages for some reason. He threw it at the robot below, which caused it to back away. Then he lit his head on fire. And threw it at the He noticed the more fires he lit, the higher the mothership would float. He burnt everything on his body, down to his pants and shoes. Now that he was out of quote unquote ammo again. The aliens reapproached. What is he wearing that's so flammable? I have no idea. I have no fucking idea. It's cold. No, he should be. He kept climbing higher up the tree, tying himself to the trunk with his belt. Unflammable belt. The only thing I have is many pure lead. The aliens began to climb up the trunk, but they couldn't reach the first branch. He kept trying to boost, they kept trying to boost each other up. Like all the aliens like getting on each other's shoulders, trying to force themselves up the tree. No, put my my foot there in your hand. No. The guy dissipates. My foot. I'm full of it. You'll never beat a proper blood-filled man. You'll never beat a man. He also realized he could shake the tree from the top when they fall down. Still, they hit him with the gas again. He passed out. And he woke back up in a panic. Still tied to the tree with his belt. Suspended. He threw everything he had in his pockets to the aliens. I thought he already burnt his clothes. No, he had his pants up. His pants. So he threw his change at the aliens and he barked at them like a coyote. Which is high pitched. The barks did nothing. But they did pick up the loose change and he that he threw at them and they pocketed it like it was museum treasures. That's nice. They were like uh extra things. All night. If Don wasn't fighting the robots. They would keep knocking him out. Then they'd try to climb up to get to him and he'd wake up and he knocked him down the tree. All night. So they finally hit him with the biggest gas cloud of all. So the he they had a big knockout the whole time? Oh yeah. Don woke up, disoriented, suspended from the tree by his belt. He noticed the first few rays of the sun coming up over the mountaintops. He also saw that the ship and its occupants were gone. He had survived a full 12 hours of close contact. Alien warfare. Hold on. You're gonna try to you're gonna try to shut you're gonna minimize this? How big was the belt? Like when I have a belt, there's only like a couple extra notches. That's true. Not enough for an entire tree. That's true. He might have it might have been a rope. He could have been skinny and had too big of a belt. That's what I'm gonna say. Maybe he brought a backup belt on camping trips have three or four belts because I ripped through 'em. Bust 'em open twenty four seven. They can't even stay on me. Maybe you needed a belt for the bow hunting, you know, sometimes they have the the pull. Yes. He saw it. I love it. I like it. I don't need again, I remove context for a reason. Yeah. I stripped it. I had to poke holes in it just like he did with his giant belt. Thank you. In order to tie himself to the tree. Keep him safe from aliens. He always kinda thought he was gonna need to do this. So he went down, he saw small footprints all over the area. He found remnants of everything he had burned and thrown down. He just recovered his bow, his canteen, two of his arrows, one of which had been melted. And the coins that he had thrown were gone. He eventually found his friends back at the original camp. He told his bullies all about it. And none of their lives were ever the same. According to Don's wife. He was white as a sheet. He walked as though he had walked for hundreds of miles. I like that you're doing it like Audrey from Little P you know from his eyes were dazed. He spoke to me in a very shaky voice. He had dark circles under his eyes. His arms were covered in pitch, as with his pants and tea shirt. He had small scratches all over his arms. came in and you didn't even say hi hello anything He sat down on a couch. He didn't proceed to tell me about his Cisco Grove experience. His hands shook, and his voice was subdued and very shaky. It seemed so he was on the phone to crying. I hate my wife. God damn it, I hate my wife For the rest of his days. Don would remain traumatized. He was sick for weeks after the encounter with an intense runny nose and chest pains. The check for radiation poisoning. Found. He would wake up from a dead sleep screaming, those eyes! Those eyes! He would eventually grow to be completely afraid of the dark. When he went hunting with friends, he would always return to the campfire as it got dark. Sometimes, after the encounter, Don and Judy moved up to Citrus Heights. Don and Vincent and his wife Gloria, they would sometimes go camping over a Duffy Creek. And one evening at the campsite, Don got suddenly very quiet. And they looked out at the ridge. Just as a strange light in the sky appeared and zoomed across the sky and disappeared. Followed by a smaller, strange light, that followed the exact path as the first. Shooting stars. Dums it he got a buzzing sound in his ears right before the UFO's pier. And he got the sense of where to look in the sky. And later in the night, Vincent found Don away and holding his handgun. Vincent Don heard crackling, crunching, and walking sounds for the rest of the night, and when daylight emerged. They packed up Kent and left. Even though they were planning on another night camping. They got scaled. Because he was clenching his gun in the middle of the night. He was. Listen, Don, I'm thinking we need to head back. Shut the fuck up. You didn't go with what I'm going through. I forgot. I I got a thing. I gotta get to I am just I got a heart out of this camping trip right now. I gotta go. Now what's funny is that this encounter finally reached the local air force base. That happened to be Wright Patterson. Oh So two officers from Wright Patterson hearing all this was happening, they met with John on September 25th, 1964, to interview him. The officers tried to dissuade Don from believing in the encounter UFO. Don showed the officers his melted rainbow colored arrowhead that he shot at the alien robot. The officer asked, Can take the arrowhead back. We're gonna take this get analyzed. Don agreed, never got it back. Never heard from the guys again.