Corruption and Financial Mismanagement

There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot.n the left That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Lord, Lord Lord, Oh my Lord Lord Lord Lord filure. Lord, I just wna say today, give us the strength to podcast. Oh Lord, please give us your blessings today, Lord. Try to make podcasting easier. Try to make podcasting more fun and more fulfilling Lord. Fill it all, fill it with sounds, Lord, fill it with ads, Lord. Oh Lord, please do ourself right on this On this here episode of Lord, please give us oursel R Lord I feel the retention rates going. Oh it'll be sticky enough B Lord. Oh pray Lord Pay Lord, we keep ' to the final Qadron la Yeah Man, I wish I could play a big organ right now. ye. Welcome to Bas and ladies and gentlemen. My name's Marcus Parks. I'm with God's right hand man. Henra's abrasket. But I'm gonna stab him in the back for a piece of silver. Yes, I am revealed to be Judas. Oh, yes, I trk God. I I act like I'd be his best friend. And then I took the fish and then I fucking sold him to the Italian. You had the ball you' stab him in the front Honestly, I' tell you what I never even believed that Jesus was the Son of God. I just thought he was full of fucking shit. you look at the cross that they took him off, He was. Yep. And the man Who is in charge today. It's Ed Larson Lord, protect Ed Lwson. Lord Lord, let Ed Lwson's last episode be successful and be comparable to his other very successful episodes, Lord I got a good feeling about this one cause today Talking about pain Good In the Everglades. A Yes.ave you got a cramamp? what happened to you? Jesus, immmediately? I got a cr. You gotta cram. Wh Your whole body? No be sick That's you got you. This a cp Ist winded from your spirit? Is this Scot attacking you? No, my body's tired. My body is tired. I like that scene in the distinguished gentleman where the man says he has a cramp then he has a heart attack and dies Sam Did you fart? Am. Oh up M A R M. Back to our regular schedule programming. Yes. Is pain in the studio Pain in the Everglades. Today, We're going down south, baby. I hope you're ready. Have you guys ever been to the Everglades? No, no. It's crazy to me. You would love it, actually. Yeah, you think so? It's like the only thing that I think you would like about South Florida. Okay. Yeah. Yeah right. Is it just because it's beautiful? It is gorgeous. All right. You know I. There's lots of you know, it's great the Mcasukei tribe is very cool down there. Sure. There's lots of great airboat rides you can go on. It's a beautiful time. The suns setets's probably the best in the world comparable. I'm extremely frightened of it Oh, you should be. And I mostly have been in Miami. Yes. That's largely concrete in Maduros. I went to the I went to the Everglades with your sister. You fucker. What? you know, you win went out because you were there at the time for the Super Bowl. Yes, yeah. We went during the Super Bowl. I got this shirt and we went airboat riding. It was a lot of fun in Everglades National Park. But you live. I lived very well because I didn't get off the fucking What if I told you There was a place where Alligators and Crocodiles co existed in peace. I would a nice cope, you fucking, you cuck I thought you'd probably say something to the effect of I didn't realize that they couldn't coexist in the first place. I didn't realize that they couldn't coexist in the first place. I actually had no idea. Well, they can't basasically the crips in the bloods. Okay. Remember the nineteen ninety two Watts trruce where the red and blue they came together to stop the violence after the LA. riot? Yeah, they had set me in negotiate. Y. Well, this place is like that, except with alligators and crocodiles. I'm talking about Florida. es God, I love the Everglades. I grew up down there.'s but the lake behind my house, the water was fed in from the Everglades it was just filled with water moccasins and gators. It was fucking really cool. It's a great place to be. Now, I understand. Yeah Ging up in like you gre up in the Florida Everglades, which are extremely dangerous. I grew up in West Texas, which is also very dangerous. Yeah. There plenty of rattlesnakes everywhere. Lots of rattlesnakes in the Everglades. Yeah Yeah I would say you definitely you have the danger over me. Oh yes, is. We got all these other animals and plus Y, I also grew up in the Italian American streets of Queens, New York City and had to deal with organized crime and stickball. Gaters and the sewers. Yep, Gaaters in the sewers, Gaaters on my feet because I was given shoes by the local mobster. Now I know Cripss and Blood's weird way to introduce the topic The Everglades are a weird place. coovering one point five million acres of wetland, forests and marine habitats, the Everglades are a great place to escape reality. taking a perfect purple sunset over the sawgrass and hide someone you just murdered Whatever float your airbat, you know what I'm saying? I like to hide bodies of the people I murdered. That's right, Henry. And Let's say you murdder someone in let's pick a random city, Cincinnati. Great, great. Where we just were. Yeah, we just were. I got family there, you know, so what you're going to want to do with that pesky old corpse is you got to hop on I seventy five south bun driving, go go go, go go, you hit the swamp No mus no fuss. Can I also give a bit of advice? Yeah, sure. Use a circular saw to cut around the joints, right? First you're going to want to cudle the kn around the joints and then you're going to use a littleler knife to actually work your way into the joint of the knee on both sides. You're going to want to take that off. You're going to want to take the arms off at the shoulder. You're also probably going to want to take the head off at the neck. That's going to require a bigger saw because you're going want to get to the knee and you get to the bone itself And you're going to chop into the little spinal cord thing and then you're slowly going to work the head back and forth till it pops off. I would then wrap those pieces in tarp, put that in a giant cooler, then drive that to the eververglades and then feed them piece by piece. Now We're gonna get to it a little bit and I'm gonna to tell you why you're wrong and you're working too hard. Working way too hard to work smarter, not harder. S. You know, as another example. Maybe you're a local South Floridian a day beach bro dude named Randy, red faced a driving drunk home from a Flanagan. Wow. Like many Randies do seven nights a week. You know never knew a sober Randy. No By the way, when you visit fllanagans, they got phenomenal wings. The ribs ain't nothing to turn your nose up at either Don't sleep on those dolphins fingers. They let you keep the cup. Also Faniganss, that's a big Casey Anthony spot. Oh, I bet. Yeah ye. She do really well in a Flanagan. She does do very well in a Flanigans. Do You know which one she goes to? I don't know, but it's a regular. And she's welcomed Casey Anthony is welcome at Flanagan. They don't give a fuck what you've done at Fanagan's. I'm pretty certain I've got a lot of messages that Casey Anthony has like a mean girl group that sort of runs I want to say it's the Faniganss of Fort Lauddale. There's a couple in Fort Lud of. Yeah. And so she runs like a mean girl It has to like people like she's like taken over the scene. like you have to be in with Casey Anthony to get a good table at Flanning. Well anyway, so You cleavid Flanagans. You're swerving and scooting listening to Buffet's A one A album. It's fucking kicking, you know, all right? You pull into your gated community out west just past four hundred forty one, you wave hello to the Stoner gate guy you turn left while tearing up to a pirate looks at forty and you clip a teenager on a scooter Oopsy doodles. Thanks are clipping me now I don't have to go to homeschool. Yeah, and he's screaming, He recognizes you. He says Randy, did you do this? I'm gonna tell everyone you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison, Randy. Yeah, so you grab a handful of Bermudag grass and you just jam it down his throat and you pch his nose till he stops moving. And all you hear is the chorus of green tree frogs while you realize your life has changed forever It could happen to anyone. That's a buffet story. There' so many Scooter boys around You see what scooter men Scooter adults. What you're going to want to do in this situation is you're going to want to throw a ball cap on them, stick them in the passenger seat, take the car pool lane south. swing a right on old US forty one eight KA Alligator Alley, ride that bitch till the radio stops working, no m, no fuss And shit Miller's Ale' house is open till two, so you got some time to get some ingers at a night you're pretty sure our cute bartender Stephanie is working t night and you gott to harass her anyway. You pluged more restaurants and bars than we have talked about Dangers of the everge. The eververgles S the day again. Over one hundred seventy five unsolved murders My Godd and is that one hundred and seventy five just Bodies they found? Murdered bodies. Murdered bodies they found. Plenty people go there to just commit suicide. or just get lost and die. Sure. These are murders that they know are murders and they have no idea who did them because they left the body in the Everglades. Has there ever been a case of somebody so terminally ill that they would just lay down and wait for an anaconda to take them? There's no anacondas in the Evergades, just pythons and boa constrictors, and those are relatively new Interesting. Yeah. I'm sure they'll show up one day though. Yeah. We do have Nile crocodiles now though, so that's good. He, well, wow. Yes. I guess the state in Florida is in the they're in actually in the state of Denile.. And look at this, you're taking my role today. That's really nice. I like that. Youve move the words around. Yeah yeah. great. do I just stole that joke from a sticker. Listen, you ain't finding nobody dumped in the glades. This area is perfect for making bodies disappear thanks to a number of environmental factors. Yeah. First off, there's the terrain. This thing spans four thousand three hundred square miles and is visually repetitive Marsh, sawgrass, swamp, repeat. And what did we learn from the police detective that worked on the Rex Herman case that I thought was really interesting. That one of the one detail that they noticed more than anything when it comes to serial killers organized crime members, hiding bodies is that one key is no bends on the road And no off ramps. You need a clear view All the way down like you need an empty way that you can go down and has a hidden area, which is what the Everglades is perfect. Alligator Alley particularly. There's no gas station. Yeah. It's like three hours. Yeah. and you see the the idea is that you want to be able to look miles down the road in either way before you could see somebody coming So that's the serial killer's preferred spot Yeah. Also in the middle of the Everglades with the sawgrass and everything, these conditions make bodies really hard to spot from an aircraft. whichich means rescue teams need to use airboats and waiting crews. And to quote Great Kimberly sweet Brown Wilkins ain't nobody got time for that. No I mean, they pay them But it's awful work. It's awful work. Yeah. don't I think a lot of times they are actually volnteers. Oh, wow. Yeahah, if there's a disaster or something like that. I would not count on volunteers to find me. I'd really want professional guys. I don't think you get to choose. Dam. Can I put that in my living wh? funny? Henry's last word. G people gotta find meain people. You know, I could really see that being your last word. Please I it. Three words, I have money. Okay. And then ye. I'm sorry. It's not liquid. So here's why your cooler thing is so unnecessary, Henry. There's also the water The warm fresh waterater of the Everglides provides an environment for bacteria to thrive, which helps accelerate the rate of decomposition. There's a whole scientific explanation with this with lots of big words, but to summarize, if the crocs and gators don't eat your body, your body will eat itself and the water will help you become human soup. ye the word sloth is definitely going apply here quite a. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. When the sloth gets thick, the sloth gets good. In the bodies they just don't decompose faster down there. They also decompose differently. See, the result is bodies that within twenty four hours are almost unrecognizable to the naked eye thanks to quote, skin slippage, tissue softening, and severe bloating. Oh, is that what happened to Russell Crow? Did he fall in there? It was hung out for way too long. a buffet and. So anytime the water conditions sound like the side effects of an SSRI Probably gonna be a bad side, you know what I'm saying? Everglades may cause skin slippage, tissue softening, and severe bloating Ask your doctor if the everglades are right for you. I told you one day they weren't really kidding about the fucking bloating. I'm full of water bazes. You know And finally we get to the animals. you know, I know we all picture an alligator eating a body the same way. Fancy candlelit dinner a table with a napkin around its neck, forking knife in each hand. Yeah dude. I want him to have a wine pairing. I want him to be restaurant week. Yeah, but this ain't Tiana's byy you adventure man, it's real life Okay. And in real life, they don't actually eat the whole body bite at it and disfigure it and drag it and toss it to other gators and then submerge you completely and put you under a rock and eat you a week later. They just generally anything that'll make it really hard to identify you Yeah It is cool. And I feel like alligators are like S criminals. Are there any other like scavengers out in I mean, you have plenty of vultures Yeah, you know, there's lots of, you know, pretty much any stappen turtles will eat fucking anything that's just sitting there. Joe Oot's cousins. Yes. And then the fish, the fish will straight up eat you. Of course. Yeahah. Oh so's there's going to be a million ways for your There's alligator guar, there's regular gar, there's like and then like it's the only place where like At certain points, you'll get like saltwater fish so sometimes they'll find like bull sharks will make their way into the Everglades sometimes. likeike its because a bull shark, as we learned from the attack in New Jersey, which one day I'll cover. But they can live in freshwater for up to two years. Oh wow. N Snapp and turtles are no slouch. There was fucking scary and huge. There was a girl who She died in a it was some sort of like water tank when I was a kid. It was like our local like mysterious death. Yeah And the snapping turtles got to her and ate up that body pretty fast. Oh yeah, yeah, they could fucking they rip your toes off. They'll straight up like you could bite of stwry fingers. They're badass. Yeah.'re very scary. They're huge. They'll get like this big. Yeah. No we had snapp and turtles around all over the place Thaty from yourorgay So The glades aren't just there for murderers to ditch bodies. Sometimes Pes crash there and the bodies ditch themselves. So let me tell you about may eleventh, nineteen ninety six, ValueJet flight five hundred ninety two. Now before I get into it, I know this sounds like thict I' blaming, but anyone who flies on something called ValueJet is kind of asking for trouble. Yeah, it does feel like a little dollar store like Full of gamblers, I'd say. Oh God, yes. Now, I know we're trying to save a few bucks on vacation, but I think you should steer clear of any airline that sounds like it's a dollar store.. It was a horrible airline, man. All middle seats. You know, I don't even know how they did it. Mannequins. like strangely enough. they spend all their money on mannequins chubby employees.ust sit there, just take up the aisles obbviously you've never heard of Value Jet most likely, but after the crash, ValueJet rebranded as Air Trend Airlines, which merged into Air Trend Airways, which later integrated into Southwest Airlines. So the legacy of the worst plane ever still lives on today B to nineteen ninety six where one hundred and five passengers and five crew members boarded a flight from Miami to Atlanta and ten minutes into the journey, disaster struck. I actually didn't realize how close the Everglades were to Miami. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. they're right there. Yeah I had no idea. No, you just go it's literally like it's the city and then it's Everglades and then the rest of Florida You know, it's just like through all the way to the Gulf Coast This plane crash I'm talking about, I actually heard this plane go down. I was at a car dealership and some horrible cracker was taken my dad to the cleaners on a cherry red Chevy cavalier. You your dad was an incredible negotiator. I have a feeling your dad is kind of like my dad where he useds just like He seventy thousand. I'll give you eighty. style. Okay I'll get you one more. I love the cavalier. It was a convertible. It was very nice. Of cool. It wasn't a great car, but at least it wasn't a frigaking rav fororest. You know what I'm saying? No fucking Anybody that wants to sell you a rav forst is an Iranian sweeeper. That's what's happening. They're from North Korea and they're trying to fucking destabilize the country. So I'm sitting there just waiting for this to go over because you know how long it takes to buy a car, especially when they're stealing from you? Oh yeah, they really let you know So suddenly we hear this loud plane go overhead and it like shook the whole fucking building. We're like, w, that one was close. And a little later we're in the lobby and we saw the crash on the news. Wow. It was fucking crazy. Yeah No come up, but I've gotten to see slash here, a couple cool disasters in my day. W Yeah. Challenger, Miracle on the Hudson still don't make up for sleeping through nine hundred eleven, but nine hundred ten was worth You saw the miracle on the Hudson? Yeah, I was working at an IAC building on the ninth floor and I was restocking all the candy. and then all of a sudden there was some chick up there and just starts screaming. and then I look up and the fucking thing hits the Hudson and then we had like a telescope and I'm just looking at the people standing on the wing. I'm like, these motherfuckers it dead because it was February. Yeah, ye li. Wh was thisart just you in that monkey suit they put you in that suit. you just sitt there going Th these mother fuckers are dead. fulleses come! God, fucking damn it another pile of corpses. All right, you want some Charleston Chew? Carol wants her pink paper. Yeah, mister Barry Diller, come on over and a look at the corpses. Oh, excellent. Now I can finally get hard and fuck my fake wife So here's how the plane went down. The oxygen masks they're supposed to help in the event of emergency. But what if I told you that they causeed the emergency? I believe you That That's what happened here as one hundred forty four chemical oxygen canisters were not only expired but also improperly secured in the cargo bay The ValueJet promise. And you know, dude, this fucking flight Value Jet was done like the next day. Yeah's so funny. Yeah it feels like whoever ran ValueJet was quiet quitting. Yeah like I don't feel like doing this anymore. Just stop but just stop with the oxio tanks and someday and anymore. I need to fight for my own mental health. And this is a boundary I'm setting The oxygen tanks will just be loosely in the plane. And I'm doing that for my own mental well being. Okaykay? The boundary is here. Yeah like to this day, it kind of changed everything. You know when you check in for a flight and then ask you if you're bringing any the combustible materials on the plane and you think, why would anyone fucking do that The answer is value Jen. The canisters started a fire on board and the pilot tried to reverse course back to Miami, but before they could make it, the plane crashed n down in the eververglades, killing everyone on board The plane landed in the mud and shallow water where the impact on the limestone floor shattered the aircraft and sent bodies flying everywhere Crews responded immediately to search for said bodies. and to say they faced an uphill battle is an understatement. It's like more of a down swamp battle. Yes. So they have waiters waiters, not waiters. No. They don throw servers in there. Maybe we we can call them waters. Yeah that sounds like wateraters. Yeah ye, yeah. Well water waiters Yeah. No I do not think I should not be up to my w in the up hel. spes. What the is speatious. So they enter the muck in the biohazard gear and masks, their sleeves and pant legs securely taped to their bodies to avoid coming in contact with all the bacteria or jet fuel U They went in teams of six and twenty minute shifts bound together by a safety line in case one of them fell into a deep hole I forgot to mention the Everglades just has a bunch of random deep holes. I mean that makes total sense. Yeah So when you say like the shallow water, on average, do you know how like deep Eglades like up to your tents. Okay you can usually walk around about four and hf, four and a half five feet. you're walking on limestone. Limestone, well, there's a lot of mud and limestone, but like I said, there's deep holes. There's you could be stepping on gators, you could be stepping on snakes, you don't know what the fuck's going on. Not to mention the sawgrass, they call it sawgrass because it literally cuts your skin as you walk through it. I'm not going in it.. I'm not gonna go there. it's incredible how America is F filled with places like this. Oh E like this? Yeah O or like in the opposite side of the biome, we've got the Everglades and Death Valley Yeah in the same fucking country. We got everything. Yeah, and we have genuine jungles up in Oregon in Washington. the rainforest. L it's kind of it is America's a beautiful place It is It is. Hopefully we get it back one day. One day Yeah As if it wasn't bad enough, they had to be monitored. So listen, so they're like worried about the deep holes. They had like fucking helicopters equipped with snipers to shoot alligators and crocodiles and other assorted swamp monsters that would try to attack the waaders. Do you know that that's kind? That is a fun job.. That's a fun job. Yes. Just strapped into a helicopter. just finally Yeah. I knew that d. I knew I'd do something cool. That wasn't just shooting villagers All right,'s here's the results that all reflected in. In the first three days, the searching yielded forty body parts bodies, body parts. The biggest one was a kneecap. which should just how badly these bodies were destroyed in the first seventy two hours. W. The search lasted for seven weeks and eventually produced over four thousand body fragments which were used to positively identify sixty eight of the hundred ten bodies. forty two of the people on board were never ID from remains Identities were known from the tickets purchased, but that's operating under the assumption that ValueJet even checked IDs or logged purchases or owned a computer, which might be a stretch. We do the old fashioned way with graph paper. Yeah. It's supposed to be Xerox machines, graph paper. When you took ValueJet back in the day, it was like Greyhound, you just kind of tossed your luggage in a plane going north and hope for the best I'll get up on one of the stops. gots of body fragments is just flesh. I guess It's a g bone that they found. It's just yeah, it's nothing. It's nothing It's an eyelid U But you know so this wasn't it's gotta be a fun like Look what I found. It's an island. Don't need it. Like wow. I've never seen an island on its own. That's so fun But this wasn't the only Everglades plane crash december twenty ninth, nineteen seventy two, Eastern Airlines flight four hundred one was wrapping up from a flight from JFK to Miami. When I say wrapping up, I mean the black box recorded Captain Bobloft welcoming passengers to Miami, telling them that temperatures were in the low seventies. got a low perfect Miami even low seventies Now if you could see man you' outside your windows, but see quite a beautiful night out there todayonight. Hope you can enjoy. Oh my fucking God. Basically yes. they were in the home stretch, then Loft noticed that the nose gear light didn't indicate down and locked, which was, you know, necessary for a safe landing. Sobe there's a little light maybe's the problem light. So he sent the second officer Bert Stockstill to the electronics bay beneath the flight deck to inspect and got permission to circle the height of two thousand feet while they figured out the issue. Bert Stockstill, that guy wasn't being anything but a pilot. Dude, all these guys have great pilot names. Y. Second officer Bertt Stockstill he doing everything I can to to keep us in the air. and I know my wife's cheating on me. It's like when you get a pilot's license, they change your name. Oh your name is Barney Krasinski? No, your name's now Rock Jetson. But two thousand feet sounds like a safe height for an aircraft if everything's handled correctly, sure Ultimately, though, it's way lower than you think. if the craft starts to slowly descending without anyone noticing, the ground will approach extremely fast. How do they notice? Aren't they pilots in the cockpit Well, Yes. And then that's what happened. The ground approached very quickly. R remember it's nighttime. Yes, man. at the seventies So like it's all different machinery. Yeah Ebody's skinnier. Yeah. Ebody' smoking. So we're getting no Zimpic back going to be skinny again. Y everybody. After about six minutes of trying to find the nosegeear issue, an alarm went off to indicate that the aircraft had deviated from a proper altitude. alarm was either unheard or ignored, and two minutes later, they noticed how low they had gotten By then it was far too late. The Black Bx recorded Loff saying, Hey, what's happening here? And then seven seconds later, the plane crashed into the Everglades. D a snake you close? Yeah Most Black Bx recordings are like that. And you can't listen to them. It's mostly them just calmly talking L looks like we have a little problem here. Yeah Boy that doesn't look right? Well, they're built because they're built to be that way. Pilots are supposed to because that's all the Chuck Jager. You got say got to say come. Yeah they stole that. That's the whole thing from that the Chuck Jager voice. That's what every pilot is doing. Yeah Yeah Gager. But here's where it gets crazy. Chuck Yager. Yeah, the right stuff. I remember Chuck Jager. I remember the ride at Six Fags over Texas. Yeah That's a cool guy.. I don't remember him. He's broke the sound barrier. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Yeah, Chuck Jager They named Yagermmeister after us. Yes. Traditionally, the fastest how I am the Jager Mister. But so the aircraft fucking disintegrated and sent wreckage flying across the area almost five hundred thousand square feet. But amazingly, there were survivors and here's the math one hundred and seventy six total people on board, including the crew, one hundred and one deaths So that means seventy five survivors with fifty eight of them suffering serious injuries, but that means that seventeen people walked out of this thing relatively unscathed, which is unbelievable That's not to say the survivors didn't suffer though. They did. One survivor described waking up buried up to his neck and muck completely naked except for the elastic on his socks, unable to move to multiple injuries, hearing snakes and gaators thrashing in the water around him He was rescued five hours later. Hot, right? Wow. What happened to his clothes Why was he naked? Did everybody disintegrate his clothes imediately? Yess so. I have no idea. Who knows it could have burnt off? L Who knows what manic shit happens about You know, they talk about that. You remember how when we went through the Murdockch casees the partart of how, you know he wasn't the Stehven Miller part of it when he wasn't kill Like we know the fact that he wasn't hit by a car because one of the thing they do say is that people fall out of their clothes all the time in an impact kill Yeah. And how like that style of thing it's weird. You're just like your clothes rip Yeah. And then all of a sudden you naked. Your naked is helling and you're a swamp, you survived a plane crash and you've just become a feral child like from the seventeen hundreds in the forest of France. You could have bought one of those newspaper suits Maybe his clothose burned off of them when the planank cat caught on fire, but then when it hit the swamp. put them out again. You the winking. Yeah. And then the muck of the butt helped heal. And then it was moisturized. Yeah, yeah. Although if it was the seventies, he might have been wearing. Now that wouldn't worked because he would' have been wearing polyester and that would have just polyester It's Yeah me turns into like like almost like a what did they call like a napalm? Napalm. Yeah Yum yum That was a big thing happened to Michael Jackson. Yeah. At the Pepsi commercial? Yes. He really could have become Freddie Kruger in that moment. He did.out the without the mercy of killing them Yeah inv the dreams I and invied them into the mind.. You already had the hat and the glove? So not all the damage was physical. Some of was psychological. Eight of the ten flight attendants survived Beverly Raposa was hailed as a hero for her efforts rescuing survivors. One of her strategies was to sing Christmas carols to boost morale and draw attention to the rescuers. Just imagine being half paralyzed butt naked, soaked and caros scene, surrounded by electric eels, and you're expected to join in on an impromptu Rendition of Santa, baby. Jingle jingle jingle, jingle, jingle jingle jingle bells. Do you hear what I hear Oh That's an alligator. That's a fucking gator. He's fuck that shit. Yeah, that's Frankie that's the sound Frankie makes when a monster comes on the television. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, it is V very protective. Very cute.. ne fun Everglades specific tidbit is that the first responders were Bud Marquis and Ray Dickson. twow friends, they were out for around a late night frog gigggin. And frog gigggin of course, is when you go out and hunt bullfrogs with a long spear and secretly have sex with your best friend. Yeah, why else should you do that? What else could possibly be fun about that? That sounds horrific. Yeah. So these guys are out there fucking each other at stapping frogs. Yeah. And that should get back to stapping frogs. I've already come three times. The plane crashes and then they immediately leap f into act and started rescuing people. They were later honored for their heroics, and their efforts helped save the lives of seventy five people and countless frogs who were able to escape the spear to the head while Bud and Ray were preoccupied. I imagine whatever frogs they missed were murdered by the plane they were very handily destroyed entirely by the plane crash.ude toad down there they're fucking hge dude Yeah, you don't like those hate toads. They'd be waiting by your front door like when you get home and shit, you just feel like they don't bite you. They waited by my front door when I was a fucking kid Yeah in Texas.ucking bullfrogs everywhere. When you hit them with the car, they must They explode. They do. I remember seeing a video in college about it was Australian toads. like it was about invasive species environal scienence class And they showed a guy driving down a road that was covered in toads and it was slipping and sliding all over because the gardut it actually causes guff. It causes wrecks. because so many of them. Yeah they're slippery before you run them over. Yeah. Yeah, they're little gushers. So the three main crew members, remember of them, Captain Bobloft Second officer Bert Stockdill and engineer Don Repo. They were all killed in' amazing. great name. Hi, Don Repo. Ple engineer. Yeah, that's what I do. Well just because you're dead doesn't mean there isn't still work to do. And Loft and Repo began new career as air ghosts Yeah, this is fun. All right, now we're getting a little spooky. Fair airghosts are a topic I've wanted to cover quite a bit before. Well, here you go, fuck face. They started haunting various flights and they didn't choose them at random. There was one thing that all the haunted flights had in common. This is honestly pretty cool. The aircraft that had crashed was a loockheed L ten eleven Tistar. After the wreckage had be recovered from the swamp, they realized that some of the parts of the aircraft be salvaged and refitted into other L ten eleven s. They do that. They've done that all with every single plane crash. They did it with the the twwin towers. They really yeah, they took the metedal. they use a lot of stuff for them using that metal. I mean pro this saved Eastern airlines like Hundreds of bucks Almost dozens of dollars. And the con is that the refitted parts also contained the lost souls of Lost six in them and half a dozen in the other. In one instance, a captain was asked to check on a passenger in first class who was not on the passenger list This man was wearing a pilot's uniform and appeared dazed and unresponsive. When the captain got closer, he recognized who it was Bob laughed. Bob you fucking new T my journal and throw it off. On another flight from New York to Miami, the same exact path of flight four hundred one, a flight attendant opened the overhead compartment to see Bob stare back at her from the suide.. What's going on here?? What are you get going on here Whatere you get for snanks? Bob does seem like a fun ghost. You know Dude' just getting hammered in first class and hiding an overhead bs. He's like sol volcano. Yeah He's having little fun. Now Don Ro Quite as silly He was much more productive. On one flight, an attendant saw his face appear in the oven and he warned her to watch out for fire on the plane. Fire plane. On the return flight, the engine failed and had to be shut down before it caught fire. Another flight attendant on the aircraft saw an engineer fixing the oven shortly afterward On another flight, Don was seen sitting in the cockpit where he warned of a faulty electrical circuit. proble with a circuit. And I'll be damned, Don was right. The crew found and replaced the circuit before anything could go wrong. That ghost is the best employee this airline has. I don't think he came in like he like it wasn't just like fire on the plane like I come bringing warnings up D consequence! just know, it's gonna really help him there. Thank you so much, Dg. That is look into that. And if his ghost was in the oven, was it like a tiny version of it? Iir place place stop it, put it around, put it around. That little gnome is trying to warn us of something Oh man, Eastern airlines hated these stories though. When they started circulating, they privately warned employees that if they were caught spreading ghost stories, they'd be fired. They publicly denied that these flights were haunted, which is objectively hilarious press conference to have to hold. We have investigated each and every flight and we have determined no ghosts. Like you like could imagine. We will assure you, every single flight you take here on Southwest will guaranteed To be ghost free. I don't care what anybody says. How famamous. Eastern airlines. I don't care how scred the flight attendants are. They're not seeing ghosts. They're seeing what we call temporal imagery. It like he tries to create new sight. Eastern Airlines was founded on the promise that the undead do not belong in the sky. We here at Value Jenner doing our best to kill the spiritual world One plane at a time One nice thing about having two horrific plane crashes is that the victims don't appear to be causing any trouble in the afterlife. otherther than the two pilots that are messing with people aboard the other aircraft everyone's minding their P's and Q's and not haunting the Florida Everglades. That's not the case, however, for Edgar J Watson Ed Watson was known as the Everglades Killer. How do you think he got that name K killing people the everglades. Yeahah ye. Nowadays, this haunts the area particularly near a convenient store. How convenient which is ironically pretty inconvenient for shoppers. becausecause it's in the middle of the everglades. Actually if you need something, though it's probably as convenient it would Yeah. Yeah. in the everglades I I've got acid., you know, where am I going to get my peeppsid? The ghost is inconvenient. Yeah, I want to get my molt liquor. Well let's start Ed Watson's story from the beginning On the first day there was light. toneone. Watson was born on november eleventh, eighteen fifty five. You know back when America was great. H father Elijah was a civil War veteran and an abusive drunk, which is redundant for sure. Elijah would routinely beat Egar and his mom and After about a decade of that, they fled to Fort White, Florida where Edgar would spend the rest of his childhood. Because of the inconsistent record keeping back then, there were a lot of question marks in Edgar's timeline. There is a lot of unverified stories, and they start with his departure from South Carolina One version as the story goes that his mom, Minny tired of deal with an alcoholic maniac so she left. That makes sense. The other version Had Edgar committing his first murder at the age of nine. Wow. prrompting the move. That one kinda almost makes sense once you hear the rest of Edgar's story. Nine year olds commit murder every day. Have you guys ever heard about Edgar Wson? I never have. I never heard thisill This is great. This is awesome. Yeah, there's's a lot of fun characters in this story So either way, they settled into Fort White and Watson would eventually grow up and meet a nice young lady and get married. Unfortunately Watson's wife would tragically die during childbirth with baby passing away as well, which made Edgar super easy to get along with U Watson's first confirmed killing would come a bit later. The victim was his unnamed cousin Edgar's cousin. made one fatal mistake and that mistake was when he said the words Edgar Calm down ever do that. No. I'm gonna need you to calm down. You know, that actually triggers a lot of people. It doesn't seem to accelerate. Yeah, the scenario. canan't name a single time and haveve said that and it's worked. Not once You don't believe it Try it with your wife when you come home at three AM Hmmers. Lady, I gotta say here're first of all, you're overaging. second of all, I'm underappreciated in this house. you're gonna have to calm down. I'm gonna have. I'll be moving out. A that afterress, you calm down, go to sleep, 'cause time are sleep. T sleep. You calm down? I'm sleep time. Calm down 'cause I'm calm. Is she c P still place? cray. Eddie said the funniest thing about ladies earlier You belie the funny things that said about ladies earlier., bas see if I can remember it, I think he said Cal and fuck down. Cal and fuck down So anyway Edgar kicked his cousin in the head till he died. shouldould have been a soccer player. Edgar then split to Oklahoma. While in Oklahoma, Edgar met a woman named Belle Starr. This woman's incredible. Yes, Bell was eight years older than Edgar and had committed Quite a bit more of crime as well. Do you also see her as May West? Oh my God, I something. Well hey. my name's Belle Stone. Okay Sort for Bell Aia. Oh your name's Ea. I'm gonna call you a little Eddie. He my little Edie. little baby. So she was associated with the James Younger gang made famous by Jesse James and that was hardly her first gang She switched gangs and husbands constantly, almost always making the switches simultaneously. She put together a lucrative criminal enterprise planning and facilitating the exploits of bootleggers and horse thieves in all the various troublemakers of the era. Pret cool chick in a horrible sort of way. Yes,. No that definitely resulted in the death Many people. Oh, for sure. Yeah. But you know, great for the show. Hey. Oklahoma in the eighteen hundreds It's fine. Yeah, no man's land. Yeah. I think it was actually still just a territory. At that no at that point, wow, I can't remember when the sooners were like when Oklahoma was actually settled Buter later. Yeah my ancestors Sooner later. Yeah ye Yeah ye. My ancestors weren't they weren't in Oklahoma just yet. They didn't show up until I think the nineteen hundreds. They were almost there M I wouldn't Come across old Bellaneter B stars run. It came to an end on february third, eighteen eighty nine when she was violently murdered allegedly by Edgar Watson. The killer shot her while she was riding her own horse, and then when she fell off, the killer shot her again She officially died of shotgun wounds to the neck and back Which would later be the inspiration for the two thousand two song, My Neck, My Back by K. Oh I wonder what happened with her Pussy in her crack. is not you really don't know if she was shot in the other locations? But you know the the record keepeping wasn't the best, we know, as we established earlier. Yeah. One theory though, is that Belle was using her knowledge of Edgar being a killer on the lamb as leverage. She planned to use the info to reduce her sentence next time she got in trouble and Edgar got win of the plan and shot gunned the shit out of her Yeah, That's gonna happen when you hang out with men like littleittle Eddie. Little Ed. I'm not so little anymore. Oh Oh, you're little. I'm not call you big boy. Big boy, don't put that shotgun down on. Oh me. My pussy and my crack on. Oh My pussy and my crack become one thing. see. So Edgar flees back to Florida I think a whole bunch of poor bastards must have been telling them to calm down or something because he started killing all types of motherfuckers. He killed a man named Quinn Bass in self defense and was acquitted. A short while later, he got into a dispute with a man named Sam Toland and shot his fucking ass and got acquitted again Despite the acquittals, the sheriff had enough and ran Edgar out of that town So at this point Ear needed something new in his life. He figured the Everglades was the perfect place to hide out in plain sight. But he didn't exactly lay low. He started a very profitable business raising vegetables, buttonwood trees for lumber and sugar canane. He would take his product on his boat and sell it in Fort Myers and Tampa, Key West. You know, it's going well. Just do That? Edar No' but that's not his passion anyd. That's his job. So one day he gets in an argument with a local resident named Adolpha Santini and slit his throat But Santini survived. so Edgar had to pay him nine hundred dollars. Wow, he didn't really do that well. Yeah, you know, Florida rules.. Yeah're gonna pay me nine hundred dollars to br me nine hundred dollars surv. There. stop. Listen, I know. that's the contract we made. That's your stick. I sharpen this fucking n c. I gotta go deapper. Ear stop doing just the tip. Edgar expertly maneuvered all the difficult situations that would face a young entrepreneur slash murderer, and his business continued to thrive Edgar expanded his Everglades Empire buying land around the Lost M's River on Chakolowski Island. Also started hiring workers from Tampa and Key West Now Another potential hurdle when you expand your business is the added expense of payroll, you boys know. Oh ye yeah. However, check this out. Think about this. Edgar figured out how to limit the burden of those expenses by using one simple trick Instead of paying his workers, Gill up Oh Oh, that's so smart. Yeah. Yeah. it's so hard to rehire. Yeah. That's the worst part is all the interviews after. You see, Edgar had a plan for that. He found workers without families because he knew no one would miss them or come looking.' great idea That's what he was. Someone no one would come looking for. You know got fine orphan. Yeah, cheheck this out. Promise them a salary, make them work until they eventually ask where the money was and then Wow. Yeah, yeah, and then he'd bury them in a shallow grave or simply dump their bodies in the river tribituaries. No m, no fuss. You know what I'm saying? Sure. Eggar's plan worked like a charm for some time until He eventually got into a land dispute with the Tucker family. The Tuckers were well known on the island and had grown crops for years in area around Egar's territory. He confronted them and told them to get out And they replied that they would when their crops had finished harvesting. The timeline was not acceptable for Edgar. They didn't have fast growing trees back then. No. So he turned to his trusty planl B and just Kill them their bodies in the swamp good do. He really just he's got one move. He's got the only I mean, it's only oath. Yeah. but this time he broke his own code. He murdered well known members of the local community. then Edgar opened the door for retribution and that's exactly what he got After a hurricane killed over one hundred Floridians, Edgar took his boat to the small wood store on Chakolowski Island. and while there he was confronted by an angry mob. He attempted to shoot them, but his shotgun misfired. and before he could grab his revolver, the mob had shot him several times They dragged his body to a secluded area of the Everglades and buried his body in a shallow grave and to quote Robin Williams at the end of goodoodwill hunting of the stole my move. Well, yeah. He was so sad during that shoot. Yeah. But with the hundred Flora Everyone's losing their mind because like back then the like the everything's built on sticks. you know, hurricane comes through and it's like it's impossible to control. Oh yeah, it's the same as the, you know, the hurricane that ripped through Galveston the thousands. So it's they found out about the murders and they had to wait out the hurricane before they could go fuckking run after him. Yeah. It's incredible. It is it is a fucking crazy ass story. now hell of a week I mean, when you watch a hundred people in your town die, it's good to take another one. Yeah Yeah. So nowadays though, Edgar Watson stays busy by haunting the Everglades at the smallmallwood store There have been countless reports of these hauntings. And they sound pretty chill all things considered, mostly just alternates between making mean faces at people and wandering around aimlessly, seemingly unaware of the people around him and just focused on his ghost business. How is that any different than any of the other customers at the convenience store near the Evergles There are some people, however, who say they can hear the sounds of sugarcane being processed far away, accompanied by the horrible screams of Edgar's victims. A'm sure that's not more people being murdered Sugar cane being harvested, That's like machetes in Yeah probably could could be killed by machetes. just a ghosted around here. Other people have reported hearing shotgun misfire outside the small ward Cool. Again. That just sounds like an unreported crime. It's ges. It has to be. The small wood store, by the way Average rating of four point five on Google with over seven hundred reviews. Actually that is quite surprising that it has that many reviews. Yeah, so whatever haunting Edgar Watson is doing, doesn't seem to be bothering the people that much. Does it not do using know milkchake machine No, no. You think I have a milk chick machine there Probably an icy machine. Yeah. You don't want milkshakes in the eververglades. Dairy in the Everglades don't ml. Oh. Oh yeah. You just can't have it out for too long. There's plenty of dairy in the Everglades. Yeah, I wanna eat ice cream and watch a Pythonat eat a person. You'd be surprised how unhealthy everyone is down there. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be. Yeah'd My expectations would be met. Oh yeah. Everyone's so sunburned, you can't even tell what race they are until they start saying race is shit, you know? Yeah. As you find out which one y from your Bade So before I get too far into the sawgrass on this one, I feel like legally I should say that The DeSantis administration and the state of Florida says most of what I'm about to talk about is not true, but I personally don't believe anything those fuckers say. Why would you? Agreed. Yes You know what else delivers pain in the Everglades Alligator Alcatraz. And I know what you're thinking, Ed It's towards the end of the episode. You can't open this can of worms right now. Well these worms I got here ain't even got no can and plus As of the recording of this episode, it's still very much open, Alligator Alcatraz, though many have tried to close it many fucking times Before we're wading through the swamp too far, the name is extremely flawed, all right? It makes no sense. Alligator Pelican. Are we supposed to take this seriously? All right? you know, they they hardly even interact with each other, even though in some cases they're living less than a mile from each other, alligators and pelicans, you know? Yeah they don't eat pelicans? Yeah, no, no, no because they don't go to the salt waterater. They don't go to the salwater. so the pelicans are in the saltwater. But if they did meanet, I'm sure they'd be mortal enemies onalank. So as we know as last podcast in lovepan, Alcatraz is Spanish for Pelicans Pelican. And since I'm a real American who only speaks American like Jesus Hubert Christended That a white American Jesus, I'll be referring to Alligator Alcatraz is alligator Pelican for the rest of the episode because I'm the only one in this goddamn forsaken country who's got a pair of male breasts Yes. Definitely not the only one. You got a pair should run next to you. Oh by they are Juicy and hairy. Yeah. have you shaed me, man, you could suck on my tits you come your pants Thank you You don't have to shave you actually. you would ruin the illusion It's actually gonna be a kind of serious subject here. Oh, you don't This isn't the time for here. Shavy you suking my test com. So Alligator Pelican is an internment camp built on top of an airplane landing strip on stolen Mikasui land that is inhumane, devastating to the environment, and potential money laundering scheme and just flat out, cruel and unusual. What else is wrong with it? It's Florida. Yes.ah. Yeah, it's fucked up Alligator Pelican is the brainchild of James Ultmeer, Florida's attorney general and Ron DeSantis' former campaign manager. Ultmeyer is also a prick face suck bag who was involved in the Hope Foundation scandal involving DeSantis' sunken eyed bitched mouth wife, Casey. They love stealing money. Hey, no think that they like deegrading LGBTQ children more first they have their first Yes, The first life. So Alligator Pelican opened july third, twenty twenty five, which is not only my wedding anniversary, but also a dreadful time of the year to be in the Everglades The alligator pelican he toss his anniversary and Julie listens. knows he has to say it because he's afraid of get in trouble. But she doesn't want this connected to it. I love you, baby. You suck on my t. you c comeb your pants, Julie If you want It's offered to you The Alligator pelican camp was erected in exactly two weeks they put this whole thing together. There really isn't much to it. It's all tents, trailers, portaoties. It's more fire festival than island prison. There's zero infrastructure It was Always meant to be temporary, a one stop shop for holding processing and deporting immigrants. Rond DeSantis, he confiscated the airplane landing strip inside Big Cyprus National Preserve land from Dade County and the Mkasukei tribe through a state of emergency order he placed on maritime migration all the way back in January of twenty twenty three Now ten months in on Alligator Pelican and There's no end in sight. It's insane that we're still stealing land Native American to to this day. Yeah, it's still just doing it. And it's just swamp. Yeah let him fucking swap let him is so crazy to me. So it was built by companies IRG Global Emergencies, who is a Texas company that got hired just weeks after they donated ten thousand dollars to the Florida Republican Party, thus since given multiple contracts in the millions alongside Gotham's LLC who were offered the contract to start rebuilding Gaza by Jared Kushard. It's fun, right? Yeah It's all the same shit headad taking money off pain and misery. Yeah J loveving life and death. Yeah. So Alligander Peligan was meant for the worst of the worst, but truth is It's mostly everyday people who just found themselves at the wrong place at the wrong time. In fact, the first group of detainees were there solely on immigration violations and none on state criminal charges. Now about seventy two percent have no criminal record according to the Americans for Immigrant Justice As of april twenty twenty six, there are one thousand three hundred and eighty three human beings held captive at Alligator Pelican, but the capacity is five thousand So they're looking to grow Current projections say that it has cost the American people one point five billion dollars already And has an operating cost of one point two million dollars a day, which breaks down to about two hundred and forty nine dollars per person per night. The average cost per person at a normal ice facility with like walls and plumbing and grounded electricity is one hundred eighty seven dollars a day Y So we're just wasting money torture people. No way. And I feel like well I think it goes good. I'm glad we're spending money here instead of investing in any form of educational infrastructure or anything because I like the fact that the pressure is off for us running the world.. And I think that's the key we just like ease off on educating our kids and just arresting a bunch of people that are here to make a better life for themselves. And I think that that's really going to give us the room we need to finally T master the chicken sandwich. Yeah. backack then, I mean, like in the winter, it was so easy because they took all the books from the schools and then they burned them for heat. Oh great. kids don't need to learn how to read. They don't need to know how to read at all. Did you see this girl was posted a video of all these seniors in a spicey this senior class you literally couldn't read a sentence. No, And then she got expelled for exposing it. Well they want Yeah, they want to exel that becausecause the kids couldn't recognize the word extraordinary. In silhouette. Yeah, in silhouette might have been Florida. Yeah. Yeah, of course, man It's fucked up down. It was fucked up when I went to school there and it's way worse now. Yeah. So I know I'm not Anderson Cooper or some other uptight pussy, but so let's talk about what the title of the episode says it is, the pain of it all. All right. now, the Department of Homeland Security and dumpy faced high heeled Ron De Santis have called reports of guards beating and pepper spraying incarcerated people, toilets overflowing, flooding, rotten food, hunger strikes, and something called the boxes hoaxes Let's not come at his heeled boots. I think that's best part about him. Continue. I do like the boots. Yes, you do. I do. But there have always there have been enough reports to take all of these allegations very seriously. all right. And if you've never seen Cool Hand Luke and lack in evil imagination, here's how the box works, all right? It's a small cage pllaced out in the swamp where a person is handcuffed, shackled, and left in the eververglades sun or pouring rain in a cage for hours at a time without food or water. All right? It started the month they opened. July Not sure if you fellows have been to the Everglades in July or not, but it's a brutal bastard, especially if you're in a fucking cage. At two feet by two feet, the box is big enough to stand in but not sit down. And with temperatures in the high nineties with it feels like being a temperature of go fuck yourself, it is by definition torture Everyone concentrates on the gators and the crocs and the snakes, but the animal that has the most kills in the Everglade is actually the mosquito. all right? The mosquito in the Everglades in August are big enough to rape a hummingbird. Wow. Yeah. can I say that? Is that offensive? I don't know anymore. You said it Yeah. but I don't think that's all flimits. Yeah, It doesn't matter So is that's the thing that someone takes from this episode that that's what they're fucking upset about and your priorities are out out of fucking what. So is the box still currently in use? We don't actually know. But don't worry, a couple of senators sent a letter. So I'm sure it's all fed. Oh yeah you know who does that who I love. It's to Chuck Schum', Nancy Pelosi. They just said those letters Embarrassment is enough of a punishment for. letters didid they send any strongly worded tweets? Yeah What we gonna do about this? Yeah. as members of the government you voted for. haveave they condemned? They've condemned. They've condemned, they've disowed. they disavowed. Have they said this is not America?' be great Be you keep buying stocks and making money on paign. Yeah Yeah You've just seen ye, because every time someone says this ist every time a Democrat says, this is not what America is about, it fixes everything. It's like a magic spell. Yeah I do want to just point out we Yeah, it's not. it's not. That's right. It's fucking clos it. We've been coming hard at the duly elected president of the United States quite a bit recently, but I don't want to fucking hesitate to say I believe Every single member of government should be arrested. Okay I want you to I want to remind you of that. I think every fucking one ofem should be in a fucking cage. It's just an order, you know? Yeah Bernie laughs. Hopefully he dies before we hope he dies before his tribunal comes. Yeah. Well, the guards there will They ain't no fun boys neither. All right? Most of the guards come from not so friendly private firms with names like Delta, Fox Trot Solutions Incorporated and Garda World by hiring from private firms, most guards don't have proper training. The really bad guards turn their ID badges around so their names don't get reported. No way. Yeah. there's a really high turnover rate as well. The bad guards, they get fired for being too abusive and the good guards quit because the pay sucks. Yeah and the place sucks. Yeah, man. It's twenty one to twenty six dollars an hour and it's a two or more hour commute because it's not even like remember when I was talking about Alligator alley. Yeah's like Take a left. Yeah, you know, and then actually it's take a right, well depending which way you're going. But yeah, yeah and then but yeah, and then it's another hour deep into there. It's not no one's supposed to be there. No. it's not for human. Yeah, no, the only people there that are supposed to be there are the Mikasukis. Yes. And they don't even like it. They're for spare. think they like it a lot. Oh they're fine Theyre pretty I bet you they would much rather a little piece of land in the San Fernando Valley. You know what I mean? I bet you they're like, oh, I wish our land was in like, you know, the beautiful blue mountains of Tennessee or something. Don't tell them what they want. They know what they want. We allt know what we like. You know they're of like. We'll get into it a little bit and you can explain yourself to the wonderful Betty Oceiola. I will talk to each one personally So it's in the middle of the swamp, which makes it not worth it for anyone who can get any other job. So some of the guards also, they just fucking live there in a shared trailer with no hot water. So they're essentially prisoners as well. I'm sure it makes them super nice. Yck, man, if you are fucking living in a trailer You If you're living in a trailer at Alligator Alc with a bunch of you're sharing the trailer. Yeah. You're sharing the bathroom. You are wrong. You have fucked up. Your life is garbage. Yeah, there's no because you say like good guards, there aren't no fucking good guards. L if you fucking decide to work this job Yeah you're done. Yeah you're done. You're a moron. It's like ice. it's all of these things. You've specifically chosen a dumb fucking job and now you are reaping the goddamn benefits of it. Yeah, man. And then you know, the fuck up part is is there's a lot less jobs nowadays in South Florida as well. So there's nowhere for people to turn to fucking support their families. That's why like decent people are taking these horrible jobs against their will. I just can't believe that there's no form of like ot industry that could be legalized in Florida that might actually create a lot of taxed money that would do really good for the state. It's not like stuff grows well. It's not like there' specific props that you could build that green plant which would create so much money for your state that you're specifically saying no to because're bunch of fucking morons. because it makes people nice. It does, and that's the problem. Yeah. So as far as the abuse goes, the box isn't the only thing these American SS officers use as punishment There have been reports of guards beating and pepper spraying the men held in the cages The few people who've come forward to talk about these incidents say how most of the beatings from the guards come at night as a form of retaliation for complaining about mistreatment, which includes, but not limited to the showers being fucking filled with bugs, low amounts of food, and other inhumane conditions. Another report I hated had a detainee complaining about expired food and then was stripped naked, sprayed with a hose and beaten This is what's going on down there U and then and if you talk about it They just escalates. Yeah. You know or they fucking your ass Yeah. It's crazy and if they say that point, you're like, all right, fucking' deport me. I feel like just send me back now Well a lot of people are going back to fucking places like Paris where they're running from gangs that are trying to kill them. Yeah, they've come to America to make their lives better and we're fucking punishing them. Dude, they're literally fucking orting Palestinians back to Israel. Yeah. It's crazy. Not only are the meals not large enough for a small child Even if you do include the maggots, but half of the time the food isn't even cooked. A regular meal for a person at Alligator Pelican is either boiled tofu, half frozen chicken nuggets, or just a couple of spoonfuls of undercooked rice. And that's just mostly what my wife eats. That's just because she's got gird in her on her. but you shouldn't be giving gird inner to a bunch of prisoners And plus, they only give you five minutes to eat. And if you don't finish your food in that amount of time, they make you throw it in the fucking trash. Sh only five minutes What else do they have to do? Nothing mad. It's just punishment. It's punishment. Yeah. Yeah, they're just it's spepecifically cruel and unusual. It's like whatever. I know technically yes, if you're here Iegally, Yes, I know it's against the law. But I do not understand is this idea that then you would be punished so harshly for something that should be like a matter of paperwork. Like it should literally be a holding process in which we figure out why are you here or not? like are you here to work And they wait at their hearings when they're doing it the right way, they wait for them to show up for their hearings and then kidnap them Yes. So it's not even like I know there's no Again, we're tal every time we talk like this, we act like there's like a good faith argument for any of this. right? We act like like that's one of the main issues with this entire administration is that every single argument against them infers the fact that they have an argument that can be defended, which they don't have. No So Remember when I said there was no infrastructure there? Well, that means there's no plumbing There's no private phone lines and all the electricity for this prison is all generators and those generators need generators. So the power goes out regularly, which means that the shitty AC units stop working, the lights go out, and the fucking food can't cook or stay properly refrigerated. And not just that pollution. And they're trucking in gas regularly just to keep these fucking generators going because there's nothing there. there's no reason for any of it. No it's far it's far more ex purposeless. Yeah. no I mean, the purpose is to hurt people fear. Yeah it's this place is you specifically this is a Alligator Alcatraz is a propaganda piece. Yes. That's all it is. And they're getting rich down there because of it. Everyone down there, they have ar So there's this other guy I found out about. I was calling people. I was like really doing like investigative shit. So there's this other guy, Carlos Dwart. He's the chair of the board of trrustees at Florida International University, FIU He sent a couple of mobile command centers over there to help with the surveillance, justust donated them from the university. Those things are millions of dollars a pop. Yeah, these guys are all fucking so corrupt, It's fucking unbelievable. His wife is the CEO of CDR Health who was contracted by Alligator Pelican for seventy million do to provide basic health carere to the inmates Still, no one seems to see the conflict of interest here.. It's just crazy. what's going on? Incarcerated people are given I feel like Eddie, they don't want to. Yes. I don't know why Yeah you didn't want too deep into it. Yeah. It seems like the people who voted for this just suddenly just don't want to hear about any of it. They just don't they just want to fucking ignore that all of this horrible shit has happened. Well they want to like into this fucking day Because they actually looked at it. actually looked at it and he looked at the people that were going to these places They might have a weird feeling about it. Yeah, guilt. Yeah. Yeah. remorse, regret. It's fine. It's okay. It's okay if you fucked up. It's okay if you made a mistake. But now' the time to say, I fucked up, I made a mistake. Let's change it. Yeah And then I might think about liking you again. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Incarcerated people are given one cup Plumbing. unable to clean said cups So over time, the cups get covered in mold, especially when it's hot as fuck. Are you getting sick from the cup? Is your face and body getting covered with sores from malnutrition? Are you complaining about this cruel and unusual abuse? Pepper bomb Yeah, that's right. They got these things called pepper bombs Yeah They are like Yeah. Yeah, they're like pepper spray, but replace the word spray with bomb. It's to keep it from getting on police officers. Yeah They toss these pepper bombs into the cages of bunk beds indiscriminately and these Merc employees just deem it to be necessary. Yeah. And the pepper bombs recently showed up in the Minnesota protest Y. But all of the IC officers were improperly trained because they're a bunch of fucking moron cowards. And the pepper bombs kept exploding in front of them instead of the protesters.ight multiple journalists saw happened multiple times. You might want to upd that training to fifty days So they'll just like it could just be one guy that they're trying to like punish, but they'll just throw it in the cage and in the cage It' It's no ventilation. So there's seventy two people in there and they just got to sit in the pepper bomb musk for hours. And these are in the tents. they were in the tent. Yeah. You know, and then it's a fucking godamn nightmare. A couple of fellas got so sick they were hospitalized. They are now missing and their families have no idea where they are. couple of weeks ago as of this recording. Yeah. and that unfortunately, they're dead. Yeah. They died. you know, no telling how many people. we like we It's we're going to find out, I think one day how many people died in these detention camps all across America because Al Gador Alcatraz is by far the worst, but it's not the only place where inhane conditions are happening. I mean, these are people that are going. They have the same healthcare needs as all the as every other fucking person on this goddamn planet and they're not if you don't get the health care that you need You're going to die. you put pepper spray into a room, a bunch of seventy two people. couple of those people are going to have asthma and they're going to fucking die. Yeah. They're never going to stop writing corruption of this time period. Yeah. that is like we are just going to like that's what none of these people even understand is how deeply unkindly history is going to look on this time period. Yeah. And they and I can't wait Yeah for their punishment. You know, everything that happens at Alligator Pelican is fucking just like it it's all secret It's all it's all like they don't, they turn the cameras off. No one there's no reported deaths there. I will say that. but Yeah they just don't we don't know. There's no way to know because if you do rat in trouble The cops follow you. like they like they harass you. They like go to your home and fucking raid it and shit and it's like, oh, there's nothing here, but all your shit's broken up. just because you try to do something about it, man. And there are right So these cages. let me talk about the cages. The detainees are held in cages. Each cage holds thirty six people. It was thirty, but they figured out how to cram another three bunk beds per cage People are literally living on top of each other and then there's up to three hundred people in each tent And you guys have you guys seen pictures of this shit? No, it look it's fucking It looks like Auschwitz. Yeah. It's fucing. It's terrifying. Yeah, That's why we're calling it Alleigetor, Auschwitz. Yeah. There isn't enough water for the toilets. Rob What happens when you don't have enough water for a toilet Not flush. It doesn't Plush. All right. Reports of the toilets it's just a it's a hole It's aole It's a hole Yeah. Yeah, yeah, man, because they're all porta potties. Yeah. There's no fucking plumbing. all right. Reports of the toilets are overflowing, men having to use their hands to remove shit from the toilets just so they could shit in the toilet. All right. Supposedly each cage is given one roll of toilet paper P thirty six people per day. It's not enough. That's not enough. There's three toilets H fucking cage. All right. showhers are, you know, I was like, oh, that's not that bad. you know, I was thinking about it. And then but I'm like, no Two bathrooms in my house. One for me, one for Julie and sometimes that gets fucked up. Yeah, it does.ious you have a party. I' just talking completely practically. You have a party at your house. you invite fifteen friends. you're going through two toilet paper rolls J just that night. Yes. Not to mention you're fucking Yeah depending on how much people how fat they are. Yeah and how big and dumpy they are and how much they fucking eaten shit or how much they weaighted to shit. Okay, well, we don't need to go that far on the analysia. Sometimes I'm waiting to go to your house to shit because I'm like fucking, I don't wantan to do in my house. I'm sick of my back shit at Marcus' house shit at other people's houses more than most people. It's almost like he's an animal markingist terr. four times a day. Yeah. But that's regular for me. That's not fucking. That's just that's must wor. So she's just making stuff Always produuc it You right now. Everse was just sitting right now I'm making shit. What's next G I got shit. Honest, I do have to go to the bathroom. Did you need a break? No Showers are allowed only once. every three or four days, depending on the water supplies. There's little or no access to medicine. Diabetics have restricted access to insulin. There are no clocks and guards refuse to tell the inmates what time it is. They never turn the fluorescent lights off when the electricity is working. And so they're inside the tent. they don't even know what time it is. It makes it all that much more confusing There are no private phone lines for inmates to call lawyers and families confidentially. There There is someone always listening and guess what happens if you get caught spilling the beans about the abuse and maltreatment you're currently receiving Backs ACLU currently has a lawsuit with the state of Florida that says they need to give access to unmonitored phone calls. That was something I read last week, but who the fuck knows. Yeah U Yeah, because there's no phone lines. Yeah. Gos And it's and it's like you're sitting there and you're like borrowing a fuck someone's phone How do they call a lawyer to figure it out? How do they go to get themselves le legally extricated from the fucking scenario? Now Not just that, they do this really fucked up things where they don't always register you as an inmate of Alligator Pelican ypetical Let's say your mom and dad were born in Cuba. they get taken by ice They don't have but they don't take you because you're born in America You want to find where they were taken to? It could be any number of places in Florida. sureure, it could be the Chrome detention Center or the not so cutely named deportation Depot in North Florida that just opened. They have They literally got sued by Home Depot because they stole the logo and were selling merch. These guys are just such fucking pricksbody Anybody that's into any of this can absolutely blow me. Yeah. Alligator Pelican has regular power outages that we talked about and they have internet issues. so you're not always logged in in the DHS detainee locator, which the web page looks eerily similar to the DOJ Epstein file site. sameame designer, same web master. You just don't know where your family member, friend or coworer was sent. And this is where the eighteen hundred missing people come in. eighteen hundred went missing digitally which is either negligible or intentional. Either way, go fuck yourself, DHS Say your lawyer finds you and places a writ of habeas corpus, which for those of you who don't know, is a fundamental legal action used to challenge unlawful imprisonment They'll then transfer you over often in the cover of night to another facility, which cancels out the writ of habeas corpus. Your lawyer then has to find you all over again and place another writ. and this process can go on for several transfers. This is what they're doing instead. of fix the roads. Yeah. This is what they're doing instead of making this country an actually better a better place to live. This is what they're doing instead of building hospitals and schools and dins and fucking and fixing the bridges and fixing everything that they need to be fucking doing. Health care. this is what is happening. This is where your money is going And it's hemorrhaging, it's costing Hundreds of thousands of dollars to do billions of dollars. They are fucking us over. You see, the torture is the idea They want to break you They want you to run out of lawyer money. They want you to give up your immigration claims so they can send you back to whatever country they think you should go back to Administrative disappearances demoralize the families and detainees with no remorse. Yeah. And it's not just the people that they're also doing it to all of the rest of us. Yes. The point is to do so much horrible shit that it overwhelms all of us. It overwhelms anyone with a fucking soul, anyone with any sort of empathy for other human beings, That's they're doing it on purpose specifically to demoralize All of us, it's just the people that are actually in these facilities, they're getting the fucking worst of it. They're using them as batteries And as examples. Yeah too. And they overload it and they do it to make you emotional and sound fucking crazy. That's why' I'm glad I got to like sit down and research this and talk to people and write it all down in a row so I could fucking put it all together because I knew it was bad down there, but I didn't know it was like this. No Yes, And I also And when you talk about it in this way, what's nice is is that all the people that I have like currently all the bots currently fighting me on the last episode of Side Stories and Marcus and I went ham on the fucking president on Like all these bots are coming after us saying all this stuff about illegals and blah blah blah. and it is just very obvious that they no one has any Fu What the real issue is. Yeah. They really don't. They really have are fought this. they've sold this line that the idea that people come here illegally to what become a lawyer so you can't be one or they fucking picking fruit Are they fucking working on the highway? Are they doing all of this shit that you don't want to fucking do So After all that Okay Now There's the environmental impact Which is obviously something I care a lot about. I started following the work of Betty Osiola. She's a leader amongst the Mkasui tribe. and she lives in and the Mkasui tribe lives in and around Big Cyprus. Big Cyprus also isn't technically in the Everglades, but it's like across the street. okay. The Mikasui people have been in Big Cyprus since the early seventeen hundreds Betty is worried about many aspects of tribal privacy as well as the potential for environmental disaster The Mkasuki people live less than a half a mile from Alligator Pelican and there are cameras pointing from the facility at their land and homes. The cameras are pointed towards their ceremonial grounds where they hold private ceremonies. Is DHS spying on them? Probably, because they're out there protesting Alligator Pelican almost every fucking Sunday and as much as possible, reminding people that it's not just about the abuse of the detainees, but it's about the rape of the land as well There is currently a drought in Florida and the Everglades in Big Cyprus is drier than ever. okay? There is this facility could destroy a nearby aquifer that supplies water for eight million people in South Florida, not just the tribe. So I guess Republicans really are trying to drain the swamp. Oh also Oranges are about to not be able to be grown in Florida as well because of the choices they've made around the environment there. There's a whole drought. They literally are going to lose an entire crop that drives a large chunk of their economy. A lot of the airboat rides can't even go right now because the water's too low because of the current drought. How is Florida out of water? No it's they God's coming. ' God's coming ' God's angry at you. Yeah. So also in Big Cyprus, there's a dark sky order. If you don't know what that means, that means no illumination is allowed because of how much of the wildlife is nocturnal. They don't give a shit about that with trucks, buses, cars, helicopters, generators, and even Air Force one landing there occasionally They're violating noise pollution orders. This is indigenous land, environmentally protected land. Every day DHS is trucking in people, water and fuel and trucking out piss, shit and trash. The Mkasue tribe currently has an environmental lawsuit against the state of Florida to try and shut this facility down. There are about a thousand violations of the National Environmental Protections Act or NEPA ing over there. So hopefully this does something, but With the state of Florida being run by the fat faced demons that run it now, I am not optimistic Finally We get to the money. There's a lot of money being spent in this albatross of a project. Who's paying for this? Originally, because it was the result of a state of emergency proclamation from DeSantis, FEMA was supposed to fork over the money, but they have yet to do so and are refusing to do so with good cause. And for some reason, this immigrant detention center isn't f feder because it's all done illegally and it's all be done slppash and it's being used as a place to disappear people. That's right. and the bill is given directly to the people of Florida. one point five billion dollars currently estimated. And so Alzheimer and DeSantis family specialty is making this money fucking disappear. Yeah. It's coming right out of your state. It's coming right out of it. It's making sure that you guys that your schools don't have proper stuff and it's making sure that your hospitals are understaffed and it's making sure that there's not enough people working on the the traffic like all the department tr where they're getting most of the money, they're draining theurricane relief fund. So if there's hurricanes this year, everyone's fucked. Yeah. I mean, just imagine Just anybody who supports imagine anybody who supports this shit. imagine what one point five billion dollars could do for your county. Yeah. Like just not even your your town. Th about what it could do for your county. Like just what one point five billion dollars could do. And this is what they're doing instead. See what it is is mediocre white people really, really upset that they aren't kings and queens of the universe automatically and they love the punishment. The people who like this, if you do like this and you think that this is just, it's because you hate other people Some of the money meant for Alligator Pelican has been used on private jets for politicians, lavish dinners in Tallahassee Oh you know what's where you spend your money for lavish dinners Oh but you're paying for food in Tallahassee. L fucked up. Seriously, you're a fucking moron. Not even they just you saying that makes me so bich. You would go to Tallahassee and spend that kind of money, you fucking idiot. you have Miami? It's a steatehouse. It''s Tahase sucks de We all know it. I I like timeing. It's fine. We a great time there, but yes, they could use a little help. You what I'm saying? could use a one sofer. I'm just saying you blow your money, blow it blow it in Miami. Oh man. so they're spending all this shit on all these things and not involving getting these people proper care and the respect they constitutionally support supposed to receive So, like so much else involving this administration, this giant ecological nightmarish torture device is just another way for these monsters to make themselves richer at the expense of the less fortunate and the expense of people trying to make themselves a better life at the expense of our neighbors. So I guess when we said, give us your tired, poor and huddled masses, it was just so we could Fill as many private prisons as humanly possible pain in the Everglades. Thank you, Edward. Thank you very much. Good work, Eddie, Re, really good stuff. Shout out to Rachel Burke, who did an amazing job researching this and Pat Barker who helped me write this beast. It was fucinking, it's a lot man. Really good work, man. M Really good work, really tough stuff. But also when it comes down to it, did we It will all be revealed and it will get to it. and I hopefully eventually the snakes will overtake it. Literally the actual snakes. Yeah. We have to keep talking about this shit. We we have to get let people know that this stuff happens. I mean and this is one hundred percent within the last podcast area l keep say it like this is the stuff that like people like, why are you talkking about politics like because Politicians, we've never before been or at least not in our lifetime, have been in a situation where the politicians are actually doing the things that we used to cover happenens decades ago, centuries ago. That's why it is current like we are living in a last podcast fucking timeline. Yeah, and we're not doing this because it's fun. We're not talking about this because this is funy. how much laughter we're doing here? Like no, we're talking about this because unfortunately is three weird middle aged white dud No one else in our category is necessarily talking about this shit. So we are because they're all afraid. Everybody's afraid now. everyverybody wants to keep every every cent because everyone's so afraid of losing a market share of whatever it is they're working on because We fuck these people. Fuck them. fuck this shit. We are going to keep talking about it because we have to Yeah. And it's true crime. It is, it's true crime Let anybody make you feel crazy. Yeah. Like that's that we got so many fucking emails from people after we did side stories last week to saying L, thank you for talking about this because everybody every time I talk about it, I feel fucking crazy. Don't let them make you feel crazy for being outraged about this shit. L donon't gaslighting you. Yes. It is happening. Other than Betty Aciiola, every name I mentioned should be in prison Man Except for the ghost Yes That ghost is already free. Yeah Well the ghost pilots as well because they sound like fun. They are fun. They are free. they've never, never did anything wrong. Good work, Edward. Yeah. good work. Great work. Patreon.ot com slash last podcast and left give us money for ad free episodes. Yeah. I've been talking a lot this week. And'll be on the left as all the social mediia you're gonna to want to look at that. Our Halloween album sold out, you'll never get it We're going do D don't worry about it. We're going do You're going to say we're going to have a lot of special announcements about our Halloween album. So don't worry about that. But thank you to everybody who already purchased it. I can't believe it. Thank you so much. Go to YouTube to see our new stuff over there someplace underneath LPN Romantasy, The Foreign Report No dogs and spacees coming back. LPN TV's got HDX two the second season. It is out there rolling out every week every Thursday and it is after the last three episode drops That drops over on LPN TV. go check it out. That's right the playoff started this week. Yeahes Yeah ye. Also on YouTube, go to the brighter side LPN, follow our new page. You can watch our episodes there. It's a lot of fun. Oh I believe it was my episode of where in which I was a judge on HC I believe that premiered this week. It did. It did Yeah, dude. you were so fucking. I watched the last night fuck Stone to the Gills. I was laugh I never full disclosure, I don't listen to our show. No I don't watch anything I do. I hate it. I can't I don't like my vo. I don't like seeing myself. It's just like, you know, just people are bad to themselves. But I watch this shit and'm and I'm laughing and I'm having a great time and I hate everything I do. So you guys, please go watch HDX two. I can't tell you how much I love it. I bed this character off of my brother Thomas He's so nice's great. But's well, you know, it's beiful. Come see us on the road. We're going to be in Pittsburgh, may twenty ninth That's going to be at the Carnegie Music Hall, Grand Rapids, Michigan, june twenty seventh over at GLC liive at twenty Monroe. We're going to be at Tossa, Oklahoma, july seventeenth at Kain's Ball Room and on july eighteenth, we're going to be at the Tower Theater in Oklahoma City. Also I'm hitting the fucking road. I got a lot of shows. Henry and I got some shows, Most of our stuff sold out We got more stuff coming down the pipe, but june seventh, I'm gonna be in Phoenix, Arizona at the desesert Ridge Iprov. Make sure you check that out. and I got a show at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. a salute to Bethlehem. That's july tenth, Newark, New Jersey, july twelfth. All That's where Jesus was born. Jesus from Pennsylvania. He was from Pennsylvania, can tell by his skinca Yeah. Pl all the casinos there. Yeah Plano, Texas. I got a show at the comedy store and in July and also Denver. I saw Mitch Hedberg at that club Oh really? Yeah I was when I was in college. No Yeah, we drove to Planoe. Yeah. saw Mitch Chedburg. That was fucking incredible. That's really cool. Yeah. I love that. And it makes me so happy. Well guys, I love you. Thank you so much for listening to me rant about Florida. It makes me happy to spread the word about what's going on down there And we'll be coming back, I believe with some true craes Yes. no. No. U No, we're coming back next episode I believe is number six six six. Whoa Yeah. Really? Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. Well, that might be a little bit of true crime in there. Wink Sx sex S. Hail Satan everyone. Oh Hail G. It's taking off. Hail Thomas Kennedy, who talked to me on the phone for a very long time, is an activist down there. He gave me a lot of inside information on alligators Fucking shout out to you,omas. Thank you for every You working Fuck aligator, Alcatraz, they can go fuck themselves C