Final Thoughts and Upcoming Tour Dates

The price of gas right now is crazy. Non what's not crazy? The price of Paramount Plus. stream new series like Dutton Ranch, returning favorites like the Agency, and live sports like UFC, Paramount Plus. ninety nine cents per month for the first two months, stream now Ryan Reynolds here from MidMobile, with a message for everyone paying Big wireless way too much. Please for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just fifteen dollars a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird Okay, one judgment Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile. com slash switch. Upront payment of forty five dollars for three month plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required, intro rate for three months only, then full price plan options available. taxes and fees extra. Saal terms at Mintmobile. com. There's no place to escape to. this is the last on the left. Side stories?. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories? Yes How you doing buddy. We have a very special guest in the studio in a little bit. It was really fun to have like some nice feminine energy in this place. Yeah. it smelled better for a second. It did because like I try to I put Cologne on Did you? I wash Really? Yeah I got my u I got I got this new squatch deodorant. I hate it I'm wearing it and u I did it. I love that. Yeah, I love that. You just don't care. You don't care. theyre no one sells Mitchem anymore. I tried to switch them to Mitchem and no one's got fucking Mitchem becauseacco in it. look at it. Yeah but that's but now my armpits are red again becauseuse I'm squatching You know, I find it because you yeah, you got irritated. You used to do old spice fuck me All right, this is a bad way to start. What are you talking about? We can't just talk about your underarm irritation. I feel like it was great. Oh I mean it's too late to show your it began. Oh good. I thought you were trying to restart. No, we're locked into this. My shit's all trucked up. I'm looking for help. You're fucking telling me to start over. You know what? Sidestories LOL gmail dot comot This is a real problem that Ed has had forever H armpits get irritated. Yeah, and only Mitcham helps me, but I can't find it anywhere. be likek Mitch And I don't use Amazon. so I don't know what to do. He doesn't use honestly, I told him to fucking put a red clay That's what I was saying that that's what he needs Rd clay. Maybe that's my issue That's why it throw red. All the clay. Yeah, that might be the problem. Welcome to sideide Stories. My name is Henry Zbrowski. I'm sitting here with the Irritated Edlar And that's, you know, Eddie, you're allowed to be irritated. I just feel like, you know what I switch to straight up? I just, you know, if we're staying in this boring lane, I'll be right here I switched up to fancier deodorant and it's better for me. Really I use this like balm I' willing to up my game. I'll send you what I use. Really? Yeah. We have similar bodies. We do. Back in college, Henry was like, there's like this red spot above my penis. and then I literally was like, you mean like this one and I sh Yeah. It's like it goes away. Don't worry about It's called Yeah ye. Rob likes the native. I like the native too. I used the native, but I always use kind of like fancier stuff Yeah and we'll get you in there. Thank you. I appreciate you. Speaking of this There's an update. Udate. You know, I just wanted to get into this the very, very top. firstirst of all It's all the people who wrote in about their handlebar mustache The people that a fuck people with handlebar maches, the people who defended your handlebar mustache, I just want to say I'm proud of you I'm proud that you stood up to me. Yeah. right. I'm proud that you did that. I'm proud that you stand in it. and I will reiterate what I said before, which is it wasn't a full on criticism of the handlebar mustache You men You straight men, as you'll see, our guests we talked about today, you straight men with handlebar mustaches L. brave in the fact that you're you take that ono yourself and that fight onto yourself. And I appreciate that. I mean, it's better than just dress it in clothes from Walmart and smelling like shit. Completely agree, Eddie. And I want to say there's a lot of people that say the handlebar mustache makes a man look safe. I say opposite, some but that's what a wom woman says. It's literally a cartoon image of a man tying a woman to a train track. Women l that though. I've got several messages from women who said they specifically fuck men because they look like that Women, we forget are broken Eddie. Yes. Like that's the thing is that we forget. a woman chose us. Yeah. So if a woman fixed them. We did. Oh, we got right in there. We got right in there. Okay, and we fix that up. So I know that those Genous Forward thinking women exist. Yeah And that's who's attracted to real men like us Forward thinking women. Yeah ye likeike inventors. Women who've already been with lots of bad men. and they're like, you know what? A attractions for the bird. Yeah, who cares? I can learn to be attracted to it. I can grow to be attracted to it. And you know what, ladies, you should try that tryry to be attracted to somebody you orre not that isn't that isn't a toxic person just because they're nice. Yeah, ugly people are fun. C can be. Some of them are awful. Honestly, a lot of ugly people are also bad too. Yeah. You're right. You know what Celibacy. Speaking of become a lesbian. Smart School Boy night is bat. Oh, definitely become a lesbian. Now this guy to remind all of you, around the end of twenty twenty four, this man who was an Instagram user went under the name Smart School Boy night and a bunch of other things. We wented a deep dive Yeah this guy where he pretended to be a little British boy where he covered himself in makeup. He has a high pitch voice. Yeah, he does a hyperish British voice. He dresses like a weird little old first started with him making fake Instagram accounts where he was pretending to be a little boy and then pretending to be all the other little kids talking back to him. He's a nightmare to behold. He's got a big thick tongue that he sticks out. he's got these little he's painted his face white and he dresses like Angus Young from AC DC. And then what he does is that he chases little boys. he follows people R. It's been recently, that's where it was escalating too, because he also did truth sticks There was other Stephanie Schy was another account that he used And if you look weird on socials, that's one thing. that's it's, you know, what are you going to do? Yeah But he began to approach people in real life, which is what he then said he never did. then he denied all this, but we know smart schoolchool boy nine is out there. and we know he stopped for a while due to all this att But it seems that smart schoolch boy nine is no longer patient enough to stay home because Rob's because as Rob's going to play right now. Smart schoolchool Boy nine has sent another missive to all of us who dare Comment upon his life Hi there Iine They' real original Smart, schoolchoolboy, nine eight Fer. Ch. justust to be clear, okay? now P probably heard about The unsrupulous scammers that had lied about. Sounds like you got two videos tw. No, it's b eding. twenty twenty four. recently and beside it To admit E me Well As deny our sly. I was never asked to lie by Spark school Boy Night and did this to himself. Yeah, we didn't know who they were. Amitting that He L In some cases B lie me Everybody told me to not talk about him specifically. Yeah, even me, I believe.. Look at those comments A them Penty of those comments are of course from Rail. Some have been caught. ome have been found out in cour Oers Just Scatterners But they got in so deep, some of them ' they couldn't stop They couldn't stop themselves. See, S Sool Boy nine thinks thatre coming at me is a good thing for him to do. So you think this is directed at you? Yeah Now, who's full of themselves? Smart school boy nine or you? I think that I am his batman I have I have arrived here with him. No, I think that it's Nick Crowley, He was the guy that went and went deep in on smart schoolchool Boy nine. He's got thirteen million views on his YouTube. whichich is I think yeah, we've talked about this. We sent people to him and I just think it's interesting that these villains want to come back And we'll see what he's going to do because he's saying that all of the scammers and the people that said lies about him, they're all being punished and arrested But here I am, smart schoolboy nine. I don't think he's talking about us. I think that he should be because we were probably the biggest show that actually covered him Well, he's got thirteen million YouTube views. The internet liked him, but now we're back covering him. Now we're here. So we just want to say smart school boy nine Good luck. Yeah, we're watching you. I' and Adam. You're challenging him? Yeah, why not Well, he come on the show. on the coming on the show the show. Oh God Yeah, come on you don' have the bualls to come on the show They're not invited. you don't even fucking know where we live. I'll tell you exactly where we live Where's that six fifty six metropolitan Aven Oh there's a picture without makeup. No, that is I think someone else made that. Oh someone's see what they really look like someone else made that. So have there been any other reports like around? Well, they're saying that the it went into hiding. I'm calling it it. It went into hiding at some point because of all the attention it was receiving. And then I think it just took off its fucking costume and its makeup And now that it's getting it's ready to kind of find its way back because it needs attention. It misses the attention. Yeah. it's got nothing else going on. Yeah, so what will probably happen is like this is maybe the time when they will do something bad. Seems like they'd be a great villain in a pointless film. That's what I'd love. Yeah, ye ye. It seems like they never really disappeared. They just kind of went underground. went underground a little bit. They were still being creepy and messaging kids and Oh yeah,. didn't go through a manhole cover I be raazing. The price of gas right now is crazy. Non what's not crazy? The price of Paramount Plus. stream new series like Duton Ranch, returning favorites like the Agency, and live sports like UFC. Paramount Plus. ninety nine cents per month for the first two months. stream now This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform that helps you stand out online. Yes, that's right, you don't have to smash your face with a hammer. You can just start a business. It's got everything you need on Squarespace from securing your domain to building a professional site and showcasing your work all in one place Let's say you want to show everybody how you can carve your ribs out of your lower abdomen so that you look more like a Kendall. That's amazing. You can bring your vision to life with AI powered design or curated templates, plus flexible editing tools that help you create something that truly reflects your style, especially if you are somebody that is trying to corrupt The young men of America. 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What else we got here? We got It's kind of a fun story that I liked just real quick. I mean, I feel like I'd be disrespecting my alligator people not to bring it up. Please In Louisiana, there was a guy who got a DWI and when the cops pulled him over, he ran from them and he jumped into a swamp. then and they were like, Hey, get out that swamp. He's like fuck you cops! And then and then a gator saw him in the swamp and swam at rapid speed towards them and started attacking them. it's all on the web on the cops cam. It's pretty fucking cool. Wha you leave the alligator? alligator kill him. The alligator bit his arms up pretty bad, but he he lived And he's he's in a hospital right now and he's gonna to end up prison stuff. No,'s a DWI. Oh, that's guard. Check this out. Check this out. You see him there. you see But he's not getting attacked that's him swimming. and then you see it look at Belin and right for him. It's just fucking be lin That' a fucking cop de. That's so me up real fast. That's the thing man. It's like, I don't even know if you can give him a breathalyzer after that. I just feel like, all right, buddy, I think we can call this even. I just call it even if he's been bit by an alligator, like you could just go and like All right, you I think if you allig home took his arms, you could call it even. You know, just go home. go home. I don't think he can go home., he's Oh yeah this is the thing is that now the entire they're making memes about making the alligator a fucking police officer. Don't do this as an alligator. Yeah, it's not a hard enough life. Don't give it a job. give it a job. They're trying to eight. They barely even have a pension plan anymore. Yeah What's gonna happen when that alligator lives to one hundred fucking seventy five years old? Especially in Louisiana Oh my treat their cops like shut down. Absolutely. He's gonna die. Honestly, I bet you, Alligator as a cop, dies faster than Alligator in nature because of the stress. Oh yeah. The food, all the bad fast food and stuff like that, the family. Oh my God, my your wife going, Why are you here to watch the eggs anymore?' a goddamner bititch, I'm not as territorial as you. I'm just I'm a liizard that has a job for the US government I love it they gave him five fingers Yeah, that's to be as under. Of course it's a gu. HeI, Rob, You think it's a real fcket alligator in a c costume? I this. I don't dw them. This one seems a little too about this picture doesn't make any sense. I think it's the fact that he's wearing a bulletproof.s I why would an alligator need when he's got scales Yeah, you know, a little classy., you know, for the people. Yeah honestly, but they just, you know, DWI just stop. takeake it. justust roll over and take it. Guess what? 'causeuse lot of times ye, right now it's b, but it don't ruin your life anymore like it used to. No, no, you'll be fine Especially in Louisiana, they don't even have la in Louisiana. Yeah.. You wantna talk about the daredevil who does Yeah, that's just crazy. This is one of those where I know that they ask for pure death. I know that's the idea. I mean it was a part of the like I guess like Sideestories LPoTL Gmail. com. I haven't seen A giant. done in a long time Do we want to see him succeed or are we happier when they die? No one watches this to watch him succeed. Everyone's watching to see him fall. But I do think that people are then upset when they do see him fall. Because it'setting to watch someone die. Yeah. People a lot make a lot of decisions and watch a lot of things that make them upset. See, this is this guy did a bass jumping thing, right? So I guess he had walked on a slack lineoy in that and he his name was skketchy. Andy Setchy Lewis. His name should have been smacky.. Flaties. He's famous for he was the guy who performed during Madonna's Super Bowl halftime show in twenty twelve and he died in a base jumping accident in Utah. Now what is that? that just means he just jumped. And then he hit He hit a bunch of he bad lieutenanted some some heroin. He did. No, I'm just saying free base it's based shopping free base. I was not to say this mother' story is going get a lot better. No, no, no, he just fell It's kind of sad.. Here's the thing is if a dared deevil never dies. Then what's the point? Th what's the point of the whole genre? There I know, I think that they have to die occasionally. I also feel like in this way This man died in a way that would make him extremely happy I think you if he was going to die this way. I bet you he'd much rather die doing a base jump. then dying of pancreatic cancer like laying in a hospice. Yeah. I imagine that he never really even thought about having grandchildren surrounding him in a deathbed and him like, you know, whittdling and stuff like. He probably certainly not. No know, not even his mind. That's probably what he wanted Who' what's this themam? Wh's the guy that does all the like the climbs like essentially flat surfaces they give five five hundred K to that guy that that other The guy did the Netflix thing that was so boring free ballling. what's it called? Free the freelo. Free soloing? Free soloing. Yeah, he goes up there and he does that. He just hates his girlfriend so much. It was a free solo guy too this week Another free solo guy died? Yeah, free solo climber dies after falling into a volcanic crater Yeah, no, that happened this week too. and there was the chick who died bungee jumping, but they never attached the corridor. I think this is about the Gemini mo Yeah. Is it in retrograde? Yeah, I think it's the Demonite It's a bad moon for Daredemil It is. I just think that there's maybe there was a like bad shipment of grippy socks. Do you think that there was like there's like one systemic factor that might have led to all of this like a caribabina metal shortage or like a Like what's killing these guys? I mean, you know, just time, I think. Sketchy didn It was time for a group of them to die at once. If you call yourself skketchy and you walk betweenet skyrises on a string You're gonna die. You're gonna die. Eventually you're gonna to die. And I do think that is the point. I do think the point of it is to eventually like that's the circus life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he holds Guinnessbook World Records for walking a sllack line above waterfall in China. Okay. And he had a previously he beat his own record after he did it in Las Vegas. Wow. Yeah. And so he's performed stunts on at least three different continents. Why would they go over a like a literal Sistling volcano. no, I think it was dormant. It was in Yemen this is a different guy. Yeah, I know. I thought the same thing. I always do it Yeah, I can't help. Every single is that is Im the only person that does it whenever they see the word Yemen? See, I'm more like Yemen. S see, mine's more like Yemen Yemen. M my little my little chill. Yeah Yemen, Yemen. you know, but u yeah, so he So yeah, fucking broken brain That's what that is. Yeah, but you know, why did they all die at once? It's free I don't know, it's just a coincidence that it all kind of happened at once. But you know what I feel like though that's almost good for the industry. Of course R they all go at once if it's like a big thing it brings a lot of people back. becausecause like I very rarely like, is there a mailing list for daredevil stunts? I have no idea. I'm so far removed from the community. It couldn't be ridiculous. Wellike why don't we get those L I feel like these things should be advertised more.ike, why are we not being invited to more Daredevil stunts? They should be on TV more. You know what Liz All right, so let's look like what like I feel like there's look sketchy real quick. Look at sketchy. Look at Andy Lewis. Andy Setchy Lewis You know what it is Stress like shit. Evil can evil fucking came out Beautiful suit Made nudy suit type of shit. You don't great helmet. You know that you're already walking down my street because I know this guy fucking dressed horribly. He's lazy. Yeah. Yeah. you know, It's like take your time. Think about every aspect of the show. Dress the job, dress for the job you want. That's right. And he looks like he's dressed like a messy corpse. You should always look better than the audience That's what part of being a performer. I agree. I feel like if that's a thing that we've lost Yeah on the whole. And I do think that that might have led to maybe if he took himself and his appearance more seriously, he would have taken his job more serious. Oh my God, nothing's worse than when you show up to see a fucking band and they're in shorts. Yeah. I mean I I talked about this I won't wear pants on stage. I was taught by that by I saw that I do you know. you wear pants on stage. You only wear pants Only wear pants on stage. That Yeah, yeah, yeah.'t you can't wear shorts. E in the hottest, most horrible conditions. You're giving people power Yeah, If you wear shorts, it better be over one hundred at an outdoor festival. If you're wearing shorts as a performer, you're telling the audience, I'm not better than you. Yeah, heckle me. No, whatever you want respect me. That's what you're saying. Drespect me. H's my shins. Yeah. Hey, don't you hate the top. Don't you want to see? Oh, great. It's Alice Cooper's socks Yeah, that's what I want to see You know, No obviously it makes I'm sorry skketchy died. Yes, it's not about that. I don't think it' like this is if there is one subject in which the Yemeni Spider Man, I'm sorry he died. Yes. well, that turns out he met the Yemeni hobgoblin you have to be careful when you meet these guys, these unregulated non union supervillains. Like they are out there. you know, these are just the knockoff supervillains from over here and they don't have any rules. Yeah, you know what I think it might have been is Yeah, I'm noticing this skketchy Andy Lewis. We're looking at his Instagram page, four hundred eleven thousand I think the problem is This is Daredevil shit has all gone to social media. It has. Evil Kanvil had like tev. It was television. Tlevision. People were making sure he wasn't gonna die. P making sure that the stunt was advertised correctly. It's almost like what you're illustrating is a point that the central media tend like polls are a useless functionary money laundering system and probably wouldn't be the all in all the most legitimate source to use for disclosure. You'd think that maybe even that the daredevils could teach somebody like Steven Spielberg that maybe Henry had a bad time with disclosure. Maybe they didn't need to go to a a news station and all of this rigam roll like you could have cut an hour and fifteen minutes out of that fucking movie where they could have just posted a YouTube But it's fine. Yeah. But then they went would have died, look sketchy. You know, It's almost like there's an internet That's like freely available and that the guy that's the super hacker out got the information in the first place. Are these spoilers? I don't think it matters. No. they know's a mov. You know what the movie is about disclosure Day. If it's it' called disclosure Day. Spoilers. if it's just a discl literally, Eddie, if I agree with you, if we want to take away any sort of the political importance or anything about the message, if we just strip that from the movie, you're right. It is an absolutely fine. six point five out of ten Action Aventure movie you can take your grandmother to. Yeah, that's what I liked about it I like a lot of people like. I like the Kaminsky it feels like cinematography I I just feel like there's a thing that you could have done within that in which you could have maybe at a newspaper or or maybe like pulled your head out of your your ass. I'm just to ask in terms of the subject, if you maybe say that you're one of the most educated creators in all of the subject of Fuvology and you were Stehven Spielberg, youd think he might have a different view on some stuff or he might have learned something about how the world works But it's fine. He's just in his own crystal castle. He is in a giant property. He's in a giant crystal castle in which he doesn a compound. He doesn't grocery shop. He doesn't fucking go to concerts. He doesn't see humans. He probably gets he probably just talks right to Robert Bigelo, who's telling him fake things L the whole thing. We'll get to it. We'll save this. Are you in too deep with aliens that you can no longer enjoy stuff? You know what it is? is That's not a slight. I'm curious. I wonder. I actually have been trying to parse out why I'm having such an intense reaction. And like because I really didn't. And a lot of people I feel like are talking like me where it's like, why can't I just like it's a Spielberg popcorn movie? Like what is wrong with me? And I think that the reason why is because it speaks to He's writing a movie for a bunch of he's writing movie for a world that doesn't exist. Yeah. It doesn't exist. We're literally in disclosure right now. It's like it's happen it's like happening. but the footage sucks. Yes. and it's also The problem is that it's not a fantasy. It's not a fantasy. The United States government has already disclosed their stuff, guys Itid it happen. You think that's everything No, it's not even about that. that's think they have footage of an actual No. I think that they had any of that. they would have destroyed it a long time ago. Okay. I don't think any of that would ever see the light of day. I think the best part of the Disclosure Day movie was his filming of the old the old lower parts I thought that was I watching that. I'm like, I just gota left. That's the movie I want to see is that stuff. Yeah versus this like if you you want to see the incident, you don want to close encouns of the third kind. is what you want. B basically I would just say to you go watch cllose Ecouters of the Thd kind. It's the same fucking movie, but better. I think they're rereleasing it this year. Go see it because it is the same movie with the same message about the same stuff and it is done by somebody who actually lived a life amongst human beings. And Steven Spielberg has just lost touch and you just think for somebody that probably has access to more information than any one of us ever has ever had. I imagine he has access to people he could talk to anybody and I feel like he still served Dreamly. Lkewarm Uh Yeah that was not where We need the message to be right now Hm. And that's the problem. It's just like, it's just a movie made by a guy that doesn't no ide. It seems like it's just made by a guy that has no idea what's happening for the last fifteen years. He wanted to make a fun actual movie. He does what it seems like. And he could have made it about anything. And I feel like that's my problem is I feel like he could have just made an alien movie without making it this movie. He's made five alien movies so far and I put this a number four. So do with that with what you will. What is number five? Nber five Jones that Chris is God awful. Yeah I should be shot out of a candidate. Yeah, I agree. ET number one. Yes. I love ET with all of my heart. Close encounters ET. I love minority report.'s not mo War of the world. I love War of the worldorld, except for the end Yes, W the world probablyably would have been number one of that and if if that kid if that kid stayed then. Yeahep I I would put it number one. That's the whole thing. also The man who created fucking dinosaurs can't make a fucking a remotely tangible alien. C didn't like the way it looked It's CGI. Of course it's CGI. We mean, of course it's CGI. I would actually get angry Yeah of course it's CGI. He's legitimately like it's like, what in the living fuck are we doing here? Like you're just he lost that sauce a long time ago. Yeah, I just like looked at that and I was like, this is fucking garbage. It's all of this GGI is fucking garbage. It's so funny because I looked at it. I saw the movie, I enjoyed it. I give it like a but I also like You know, for me. It's not an A by any means, you know, like Oh no, if you strip all of this context away from it, I'd call it a solid B B minus. Yeah what I like about the movie is are you ready for this? It's so basic. This is how low my bar has gone. It's not a fucking sequel It's an original idea, that's a summer movie. I fucking and I'm giving my money to it just for that reason. I totally understand. I just wish our bar wasn't this low right now for especially for our masters. especially for the OG Masters and the fact that they're old. They need to they need to slowly start fasing's doing better work than he's done in years. He's doing fucking incredibleot the Irishman I love the Irishman, except for again except for the digital shredan. Yeah. But it's like what did you think about Martin Scorsesee in Mando and Groku I thought he was hilarious. Does he suck his own deck in that as well or is it just Grog? No he actually blows Grogu. Yeah ye ye. But he checks his ID. he checks his ID. I guess it's I know why honesty Let me just make sure them me. You know what honesty, Eddie is that my heart's been broken. And I find you know what they say the he most hardened cynic was always the one that had his heart open the most. And I think it's because when I was a little boy and I thought when I was first engaging with the mystery of UFO's and the idea of a government and the idea of a cover up and all this other kind of stuff was filled with a wonder for me and was filled with this idea that life was more complicated than everybody was pitching it to me as it was versus the priests and shit. And I think that when I then watch this movie about what's really like I guess there's a part of me that's like That's gone Is that been a much better movie if it came out twenty years ago? Yes. when he wrote it when he came up with the concept thirty years ago. I think that I am just one of those where I look at this and my heart breaks because that world doesn't exist. because the idea of everybody going like, o my God, there's aliens when literally I just showed one of the preeminent drag queens in our country literally the best footage that I have ever seen of a UFO. And they're we're all like, all right That's where we're at. The we're at is is we can't even get the United States, the people United States government to punish our president the United States who is a convicted rapist and a pedophile. Yeah. And when we're at that level I don't think that disclosure' fixing everything. Let's just say the aliens aren't gonna the complications brought about it ain't gonna fix it. And if they're fucking biological in nature, they're gonna kill and eat us and they're lying to you They're lying. The aliens are lying to us. if they're real, they tell everybody something different. If you believe in the secret lore of the actual alien structure of the government and you believe what they''s like let's just say you really believe in that conspiracy theory. If you actually look at it, the aliens are telling everybody they meet something different. So the aliens aren't lying O no one can understand them. Yes. Have you l. I'm sure that's been going on the face talking to the Nordics Yeah. I mean fake Yeah It' It's an picture. So even if the aliens are real, they're lying. We don't fit into their agenda. We have nothing to do with their agenda. If they have gotten here physically, it's because they're either running from something or they're running to something because they've ran out of resources. This is what's happening guys. That's the reality. We're not or we're Zoo And then gray What do we fucking do about that nothing. I they killed us by now. Nos because they because we don't matter to them. We're ants. We're literally just whatever to them. They just kill ants all the time. Yeah, but we also kill them killing anuntts right now. But you know what I mean? L they don't, But just because it's like that they we just don't figure into their plans. We're just not a part they have bigger ideas than us and they couldn't fucking care wouldn't care fucking less. And then like that's that's why I get angry is because we're learning nothing from the phenomena. We're learning nothing. We don't understand that this is it's just this this whole thing. I think the real secret The very real secret is what I've been saying all along is that they've got stuff and they've been trying to make stuff out of it and they have no idea what it is. and they've been maybe contacted by if it's again, if all of this is real, every single layer of it, they've been they've talked to somebody who's told them something different. I think that they are paralyzed I think the FBI and the CIA and all these various fucking three letter institutions that are looking at all this shit are absolutely flabbergasted and don't know what to do and they don't know why it doesn't pay attention to us and they don't know how to make it pay attention to us and they don't know anything fucking about it. So then they they now we are in a truly malicious administration that is using this and weaponizing it against just humans. So like what if them. What if we're their reality show? I mean, I think What if they're like filming us for a documentary kind of like how we make Pet Earth? or like incredible show of the paper on NBC. No Yeah ye, it's very possible. Jerry Corbell says he's seen everything and there is real disclosure coming ere from I don't know. We're going to talk to him eventually. So yeah we find out. But he did say that recently and if you show somebody an alien They will not believe it If you show, if you brought an alien, could you imagine an alien walking ono Bilmar That's what that That's what that movie is. Disclosure day to me is wonder if theien be able to handle himself on Bill Mr show With this political politics. Yeah, we seem pretty sick. Yeah, good The I had a great time, Henry didn't use that information, but I will take this opportunity to plug movie stories. our new show that is on Sirus, It's an Sirius XM exclusive, but it's also the video footage from that same show is available on our Patreon. So go check that out if you get a chance. I think that's a good idea And also I want to say real quick, I went to go see The death of Robin Hood last night at a sneak preview A eight twenty four invited me and I went and had a great time It's fucking brutal. If you like a brutal ass fucking movie, that's not the real story of Robin Hhood. It's like their own story of Robin Hhood. I don't see this fucin' movie when it comes out, it's fucking' brutal. Lots of stabs. Fuck get it. Yeah yeah. Just no, we don't receive any money for these things. No, no, no, this is just me having a good time being. Oh, I sat next to the director Yeah. Yeah, during the movie. It was the crazy. He also directed Pig, which I fuckking love. And the whole time I was just like, I was so nervous to react or not to react Yeah whenever I ye. Yeah, yeah, but then I left before the Q and I ended I't want to talk But know, but I remember been Oh yeah. give him a couple of those. just so he like, you know, feelt good about him. He's like goode that guy likes it.'s all I need. I need him. I need him. I need forty thousand more fat men, one hundred thousand more fatmen. So if you're fat and you like to watch people get stabbed in the neck, check out Death of Robin That is what I want to hear. That's exactly what I like to hear We have a great guest joining us. I can't wait to go through these stories. This person, like honestly, I'm a huge fan of of our guests. They are genuinely intolight, funonyest fuck evil as you want her to be Put your ears on the headphones Yeahah. Yeah. you can clap at home if you want. Give it up for Alaska Thunderfuck. fiveive thousand One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window hass been broken at home, you' miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT's professionally installed security systems monitor your home twenty four seven. They're backed by the most company operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency When every second counts, count on ADT Visit aDt. com to learn more. So you know that uneasy, anxious feeling you get when you think about dealing with your insurance company Well, there's actually a term for that. It's called inureanoia And if that sounds like something you're way too familiar with, you should really think about getting NJM insurance They go to great lengths to do what's best for their policyholders likeike providing dedicated reps whose priority is you. And that means you'll find more peace of mind with them. Relieve your insuranoyia with NJM inssurance by visiting njM dot com for a quote today. Ryan Reynolds here for MidMobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for fifteen dollars a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. so do like I did and have one of your assistant' assistants switch you to MidMobile today I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile d. com slash switch. Upfront payment of forty five dollars for three month plan, equivalent to fifteen dollars per month required. intntro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. taxes and fees extra. Feful terms at mintMobile d. com Dw face from your ble So before we get into our MMA update today, I want to ask you kind of first of off, before we even get into it, what are your supplements, like what are you on right now? and kind of I'd love to know what your weight routine is. I thought you were gonna say, what are your pronouns? like Thank you for, I literally thought my mind autoc completed that ' on a straight manan podcast. Okay, we talk about supplements. What are our pronouns? Oh my God I saw a shirt. this is really inappropriate. I should say it, I'm gonna say it. No There's a shirt that was like, oh, you like pro lous Well Levy she slash them titties. Yeah. come on. Thank you. And honestly, I really appreciate being seen in that way. We' down. We're down. I'm gonna go. Okay. B Sarbald. you take takeake it down. takeake it down the pipe, Edie. Take it down the pipe. Yeah. Well we're joined here by Alaska Thunderfuck five thousand. You are an alien. What a drag quueen alien from the planet Glamron. Disclosure Thank you. Don't bring it up a M Oian. We're talk about all about it. But you got a new song out called Revolution. It's your first release in four years. Oh my go. And it is the whole album's coming out soon and it's produced by the amazing Ash Gordon, friend of the show. Yes. She Ash did the song at the end of the Halloween album. Yes. they work with us Ash Gordon and we work with Isaac Hanson and we created our song. We are the band Mas for trash. But Revolution is out now on all streaming platforms. If you want to listen to it in this moment, press pause, go to wherever you listen to music, listen to Revolution, enjoy it, put it on your playlist for June and have a good time. Pause, thank you Completed. Now we're back in. It was really great. Thank you very much for being. So my supplements, you are asking me. Yes. I work out reluctantly. Well we Yes. I hate every second of it, but I do it. and then I drink like bed protein and then I have been drinking a little bit of like creatine with it It makes me feel bigger and stronger and wider. Yeah. It's probably just placebo powder, but I feel so fierce doing it. What was your reaction to the UFC fight? Did it meet your expectations so that was on the White House lawn this weekend? I don't I didn't see it. I know nothing about it. What happen missed it? Who was that U I believe it was it was Vladimir Blancasunk vers Dustin Jimenez. I I feel like that's the races that would be there. Yeah Okay. And I feel like they fought each other and then the man came out and yelled about Michelle Obama. I saw that and that made me upset. Oh, I heard about that. like This is the equivalent of fucker right in the pussy. Remember that? Yeah news They'd be like, what do you think about this issue? Fucker right in the pussy. But my question is, why fight? whyy not hug? whyy not kiss Yeah, thank you. No, I don't know what's going on with that. The movie idiocracy has become a documentary. We were talking about that, but President Camacho has a moral code. Cach is again president and Trump. He literally listens to his advisors and h stops using the ganarate learns and grows in the film Now here on the White House lawn we had a mechanical ball ye that was the audience was fighting each other. The audience fought each other many, many times. and the watch party for the UFC two hundred fifty orah the America two hundred fifty, Trump's birthday, so on and so forth, It was held on the exact same place where Trp held the rally that led to the insurrection on january sixth. It is I read someone one comment that I saw that was great like this event is going to be in the history books in a bad way. Yeah. L this is that we're going to they're going to show like this is the debts hopefully this is the Furthest down we go, but from a lot of the I guess reports that I read from it, one guy said, I haven't felt this good about politics in a decade because it's just so ineffectual. It's so weird and did you see the nothing on a chain? Yeah We calledull the Eagle on a chain so it could fly around the audience and not not go away. He also gave away a gold coin with his face on it that's worth twelve thousand dollars. Oh my ye. But can we also ask? Why are his actions like we're all in the House of Rue, right? Why are his actions like a drag queen in many ways in terms of the way he can really press out some merch. And I think the she can And like where's your coin He's no, whereere's my coin Yeah I feel like's funny you mention that available now on alaskathunderfuck dot comot I'm just. But wait, I am selling something. Oh, I'll take it. becausecause I am a drag queen. this is what we do. This is the Alaska Thunderfuck Blue Fuzzy bucket hat. Ohly it's really cute That's honestly great. Wow. This is the equivalent of my Trump gold coin. Yeah. Thank you. double my eagle on a chain. Airplane pillow. I know, yeah, you could. Can you please bring an eagle to a chain on one of your live shows? I've been trying for a year. he like we're in the ass room all One of my favorite Instagram guys right now is a dude who lip syncs Trump speeches as a gay man and says that he was born to be a gay and he does allah has all the You know, what do you think about that? likeike because So many times like, this man is beautiful. He came out. Oh my God, I was so he was gorgeous I can't believe how I just I have to go now. do you think that he channels that at all? He's just deeply disturbed. Like I don't know what's going on with the gentlemen. I just don't. He smells really bad, I think. What's wrong with men happen It's a great question, then. I I think it's unfair to generalize about all men. likeike there's a lot of like, o men should die kind of narrative. And I actually don't believe that I think there are good men. They're just not that fucking loud because the bad ones are really really loud. So like there's a lot of good men they're just like shutting the fuck up and like, Yeah, but that's a probleomise, but they feel like on some point They gott to go beat up the other big loud men. How do you make nice quiet men big other nice quiet men into big loud men, but for good reasons? I don't want to. No. I don't know. We just need like a specific virus that like takes out the wrong ones. You know what'? Is that insane? No Is that like I shouldn't say that. No, that's what Planet the Apes is all about It is Yeah, ye, yeah. Okay. Yeah. I just love monkeys and I'm just happy that all the men died and it's just monkeys left. So then they be k guys. That's their problem. They just turn into people. So speaking of turn into people. I had a quick question before we go too far off of the I look at Our president And and I'm like this is got to take a long time to get ready. L with the makeup and the hair What do you think How long do you think it takes? What are they using? What do you notice? what's wrong? what's right I like to have two hours to like get into drag. Yeah. And he probably I mean, it looks shodily applied. Yeah applied. Thank you. It was in my contract that you had to say that. Yes. No, it's sh it's approximately applied And it's not good. The hair system is quite though So that probably takes the longest. Plugs, you think It's unfinished ride. We know that now. on what? He's unlike Propecia. He's unlike generalized Propecia. So he's he's definitely taking something for it. And I know that they do pattern it. but I do know that it is losing its strength justust that Yeah, there's got to be some fakeness in there because Yeah, it doesn't seem like he would have a lot going on. It's all pushed around and it's mesed into a sort of a big pile on top. Yeah. And I've seen it in person once. I did a bit for David Letterman once and he was there And I watched him walk into a room and he does smell like a garbage dump and he is about he is probably five foot eleven and he goes through I remember going through green room snacks. I wasn't allowed to be in the room. I was put where the all the garbage cans were. This is real. I was put in a hallway with a bunch of garbage cans so he could be alone in the room. and then I walked over and then He shewed me out even when I was in like alone in the room because he said this is room for Mrter Trump. And then mr. Trump went in there and all he did was stick his hands in all the food, like literally like pawed around all the food with his hands and then just left Oh yeah That's our president. That's why I voted him for for him four time.. That's That's hard. Th my parents, through me. I'm a little Mexican man that I threatened. There's so many ways to vote. Is there a drag queen that is a nightmare in the green room like that just touches all the stuff Alysa Edwards. All right, I think it's time for us to get some important news. All right right. Now we were heard so you're an alien and we know that it's a part of your stick bu but we know that, right? We know. But you also are interested in subject. Currently, we are in what you'd call the peak days of disclosure It has already happened We have already the U.S. government has already unleashed every single thing that they already have. And guess what it is, Alaska. You said it right before we started recording. A dots Lots of dots. Moving dots. Lots of moving dots And it's lots of orbs. We love orbs here. Could be I floaters. I get swimmies Total. No what get You get swimmies? Oh, yeah all the time. Yeah, I don't know where where that started. I think it's just they's fun to follow. It's wisdom. But I'd love to show you one or just like I want to get your take on this is actual new footage. This came out several days ago This was released as a part of the third gigantic release, which is part of why I don't I get angry about this new UFO stuff is because it's all leading towards fighting against undocumented human beings. so they're being really they're doing a really cute thing where they're tying humans and aliens together But I'll say the guys that worked on my front yard, they don't have anything like this. So like let's look at this So this is a video that was seen like now we don't know what this is. They believe that this was filmed somewhere around the times. you remember when we were dealing with all the the Chinese balloons in twenty twenty three? Yeah, the ones going to Alaska. Yes Yeah he. So this thing is like there are a lot of people saying like, oh, this is not a balloon. It looks like a balloon, but it it just exploded it, right? So whatever it was, they blew it up and then including other weird little orbs flying around. Now this is not a part of the thing that I guess this may or may not be the thing we shot over Lake Huron. That is kind of what they're saying right now, that this might be the object. Sock And then we couldn't find the debris of Okay it exploded into a bunch of million different pieces. Can I ask a stupid question What's all the redacted stuff Like what is that? I think it's like there is a couple open penises. I is and that's a line of first first lady vaginas. They have those tests so that you know that you can has a new seal. Yeah. 'ause Eleanor Roosevelt squatted on a bunch of stuff H Like do you like where is your sense of wonder at right now, Alaska? in the toilet. That's a party balloon. What is that? You guys? Well it's like, I don't know. and we're seriously We're not fucking with yet. close something good. Oh God, there's gotta be something good that's like Remember alien autopsy? Yeah That was awesome. Disclose that. I want to see the show presidential autopsy.. Okay I mean'll next But this one, okay, so this one's better. Okay. Okay, this is my problem. Alaska, this is the exact problem is the fact that We don't know what we're doing with and they do look like several different things. That obviously in my mind, yeah, of course it's a fucking balloon. Yeah. But they're telling us it's not. But the way it blew up, there was like chunks of stuff. Yes. balloons don't have chunks of stuff. The government is telling us straight up. we don't know what it is. Yeah What does that mean? government has never lied. So I believe I believe completely. I've always felt very att home with the government. Yeah. Well, technically, you'd have to Yes. I'm forced to. I can't not. So this one, to be honest, is one of the more interesting ones I've ever seen just because it's the first time I'm act you're actually gonna see the movement of the UFO that they talk about in these reports. Okay. So this is an object that was filming, it's like right above the ocean We know that it's solid because it can get a lock on it and then it goes up, right? It bramps and then boom So that's what's weird. This is a thing This is an example of UFO flight that I have not seen on one of these videos, which they actually show the in an instant disa like it noticed the is this like taken from a fighter jetem I'm thinking? Yes, it was being tracked out on the middle of the ocean because people see stuff there all the time apparently Can you Okaykay Can you play it again Can you put, hold on, wait for it? Can you put the Sonic the Hedgehuog music on? Be it looks like Like is a bunch of going along. It's like a really fun like arcade game is what it looks like Yeah, you know, that's fears. R. It is interesting, How would Hardcore disclosure, like how do you think it would affect you? like like genuinely? Do you think that you it would change the way you view the world or you think you just keep doing what you were doing No, yeah, I think we would just keep doing what we were doing. and I think that they are just like Girl, we don't need to get hear all that. you know, like sort of when like We are a mess and they they're like, just, you know, bless them, you know, Bess their hearts. Do you think that there's any one scene that could bring them all together? Like the idea of like getting out there, like what's a good downtown city for the aliens to all meet together in? like what's got a good scene out there? What's got a fun nightlife? What was the one in Iependence Day where the people were like partying on the top of the roof? that was Citol the Capitol reccords buildilding. Yeah. Yeah, I would like to go there and I would be part of that party. I think that would be fun Yes. Yeah. And I don't think they're going to just blow us up. I think they're like They want us to get better. praying for us. I I mean, but in prayers work. Are you scared of? So you're not scared of aliens? No Neither am I. Henry's deathly afraid of her. I personally believe if they are biological in nature, we should not be saying hello to them. Really? I think that if I partially believe that the phenomena is half psychic and that largely we're looking at interdimensional We're looking at something that we can't entirely collect evidence on because it's not entirely a part of our reality Have you heard that they're us from the future? Have you all done? That's my favorite one.. Have you heard that Bigfoot is actually a time traveler from the future? And the Bigfoot suit is the time travel suit? A You know one Is thatfoot Yeah. But also I like the idea too, what if Bigfoot's ghost of a caveman? Why would it be all here? Why would it be all tall? What if he's just a ghost of a cave man? No, it's like here's stuff like that. But then I do believe like it's not going change my day to day, but it would be nice like to write on my taxes like you aliens Right How would you write that on your tent? Big letters. Big paper forms, Giant fill out all the print out all the paperwork, writer fuck you aliens. Fuck fuck you Yeah I love that. I want to go to them I'm gonna go straight to the source. I'm sick of the middle manan. They If it moved okay, this video I'm still on this video. If it moves at the speed of light Then it would just go It would just disappear because our vision is based on light. So that just like sped up a little bit. So just sound. they believe it moves at the speed of gravity And so the a part of what they if they if you believe the UFOs are a real machine, partart of what the way they think they could work is they create what's called in front of them a gravity well, which is essentially an absence of gravity in which then gravity then they're pulled forward this absence of gravity in front of them. So what they do is create this sort of so they're moving at they're not like that's why it allows them to like not be fucked by inertia on the inside. That's why they're not splattered against the walls. They're being pulled instead of pushed like futurama. It is. Yeah the futurama ship, they're like, we actually don't go fast. We just move the whole universe around us so we stay still You just literally just watched that episode a few days ago. Yeah. And the smelloscope. Can we get that? Is that real? It' unfortunately not. No, it's not real. No, we wouldn't like that. I don' think we'd like a lot of the smells of the past. I think we'd be pretty unhappy with that smell what Pluto smells like. I am curious Yeah, I don't know. it smells like probably like blood. It's all made out of metal. Like what Dodge City smelled like. Yeah,. We got some other stories. So we move on because I do want you to also, I want your take on this. Okay Guy Fery first of all, what's good this's just just your first of all like I say the words guy Fairy to you What's your first response? Drag. Yes. Great. Yeah. Pfect. He puts I always think that he puts the sunglasses on the back of his head so people get confused when they try to punch him in the face. I thought discourage tiger attacks. Why do you put Guy Fierre like specifically in the drag Category. He's just got that look and there's there's queens who do him. like Really? And it's very effective. I think he's been done on snatch Game If he hasn't, he should be immediately. Yeah been done on Snatch game. He should have been done on Snatch. Yeah. He's an instantly recognizable look. And there these this is so necessary for television. So I'm I fucks with him. Do you also believe like the idea of you know, I follow the works of Alistair Crowley, Anton Levee, all these types of ide people creating a silhouette in an image and how much that's more makes you almost more powerful than like just yourself as a human. Yeah, like a cartoon character. Yeah, and then it sends you Is that a thing that you purposely think about when you put together your character or does it just kind of naturally come about that way It has to come about naturally and organically, but then once it does, then you can like be like, okay, this is my this is what I look like. Yeah, because you change obviously I've followed your career and you like really couldn't concreted yourself into this incredible form I know, I'm known for wearing long blonde hair with a big blonde thing on top. and here I am in dark brown hair that doesn't have a thing on top You contain multitudes. My image has been dismilled No one can recognize me. All right, well now this is this guy, right. So guy Fier he's got to show diners driving' and ders a million times. But the new theory going around the internet is he ain't ee Yeah, so it's like there's lots and then it seems silly But if the more you watch the show And the more you see clips of the show you start to see He's not swallowing the food and he might not even be iving the food. But it's not like he's thin No. You would expect if he wasn't eating the food, he'd be thin. Does he chew Sometimes Sometimes. We have some clips. Now ye, yeah. can we have some clips? Can we show the clips? It is kind of wild to think that like I think that he might eat He might eat something like giant eggs like those Super Mario too. It's more like giant L crop. I mean big b ye Yeah, biger b. yeah. It just swallows one egg a week like a snake. Yeah guy his hair gray. Look at this happening. Look at this picture. You can spot who he is and you can't even see his home. Oh, you're right You. Its forehead and hair and it was like, no one else but guy Fairy. Yeah, but there's a news a YouTuber, Doc Spaghetti O the case, he's been watching every episode of Diners dririve ins and Dives and pointing out the exact moments. He doesn't need to be a lawyer. He doesn't care what his father says. He watches guy Fieri. right at this. Okay, he bit And swallow. Watch Well he's he's enjoying it. He's chewing. He's chewing.ewing. We don't know if there's anything in there. Cut. cut. All right, now watch the bite again. Watch the bite again. He doesn't actually bite Now here that? Yeah, watch this It's all stay in I couldn't buy. It was already bent It was already f. It was already been. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He fucking did a fucking santom bite It's a mind bite. Yeah. there's nothing going on. He rubbed his face against the sandwich He to put anything in his mouth.'s he's eating his puss. All right. And actually, Alaska, you were actually uniquely qualified to comment on this because you've been on a lot of reality TV. You were you know, two seasons of Drag race and Do know a lot of things have to be reshot, you know moments have to be recreated Do you think that they're just recreating a moment for like a better angle This is This is I do know about this because that's like lip syncing, but it's lip sync eating. Yes, it is li sync. This is very golden girl. She used to always Blanche would always do this because you can't sit there and eat the thing ' you have to start a line. So she'd be like Helloo girls So it's lip syync eating. that's what she's doing. I mean, look at this. so they also showed this thing too where he puts the he does this move, which I've seen him do where he fakes it where he starts with it up by he takes that up from the top. Right? He se' taking it with the chopsticks and then its to him just there's nothing in the chopsticks. Thereshing in the chopick. just holds no chopsticks. No why do he know? So here's the thing though. I love it. You're going to five diners a day You got to fake a couple, right? Yeah But then there's a party' e need all of it. But what point he'd be dead if he ate all of it? But if you're, you' fat fuck royalty, right? You're Joey Chestnut. You're fat fuck royalty. we know he does. But I'm just saying like, if you're fat fuck royalty to me You need to be eating. likeike Jelly Roll is a race traitor to his fat fucks. W That's why he's getting divorced. Exactly. I think the I hly think he lost the weight and that and she fell out of love with him. Yeah, that's exactly what happenens She is like, I'm not living for this. I don't want him. hisis name is Jelly Roll, not mrter Sticks. Okay? Y job is to be a fad fuck. And so Sky Fairy's job is to be a fad fuck. Yeah How are you gonna sell donkey saauce? Knowing that we know you don't eat Would you believe a word Guy Fieri said if you found out he owned an elliptical I think it's like like adult films This is like saying they don't eat. No. you know how they they're like, I don't this is like a gay thing. likeike I'm not going bottom. like I'm not I'm just a top. And so then when they finally do bottom, it's like a big event. And so this is like that. So like when he actually does eat, it's going to be a. It's going to be a major newsday. Oh my God. we should saing it. We should do it on a He should do a live stream for charity Yes I Guy Fieri actually going to eat today. And he's just on the White House lawn Every time he eats, we pay enough money to get one immigration lawyer to release one person from being held in an ice detainment center.. And I actually think it's a really good way to aim that. Let's do it. All right, Mate if nobody wants to bottom, then who's bottoming the whole time? Well, there are plenty of us. Okay. There's There' no, this is the thing. There's a top shortage What is I love that you're asking this because in the gay community is is well known that everyone is a bottom all top like and and the bottoms have a really hard time finding tops. And so they find one and it's like, you know, We struck gold And then do you then is he then given to the community to the bottom community? Yes, he does his service. and then he realizes that he's a bottom. And it was circle of gay life. I' gl I could share it with you. Is it even more relaxing to be a bottom? Is it just more just like easy going and just like one of those where Is your life just funner that way and just more, you know, like They love it I've heard it just ke't getting enough. I saw it in a magazine. I saw it in several very long magazines U All right, here we go. Here we go. So this is actually really good way the good thing to end on. This way actually yeah, because this guy would be a great top, but he's dead I don't know if he would dead tub so the Okay, where we go. So this guy This lucky dead human being, old British man from the seventy eight year seventy eight year old seventy eight years young dead He donated his body to science because they found out He had three penises And he had three penis he had our top penis. He had a main an outside penis oututside penises. But in his balls. To more penis two tiny penises just hiding just hiding So And we have no idea if he knew that he had three penises or if he lived his entire seventy year old life never knowing that he had three penises. Well, they said they would have found out if they ever had to give him a catheter. Sure because one of the because the one of the penises, the the P was connected went through one penis And then into the outside penis and then out the front door. I remember they called this urethra torturous. This is torturous, Urethra So outside penis, three inches three inches long. This is honest see really they did this to him too. they'd measure all the penises. Yeah. secondecond penis, one point four nine inches long and the third penis is one point four five inches long. so you put them together Nice cop. Yeah, altogether, that's one penis. It a harder soft measurement. It's gonna to be soft becausecause he's dead. Hello, Vicamartis I bring a more. If I was de, I'd pull it as long as I could pull it. Yeah measure from the tain. Once I'm dead and you're measuring my dead penis, please pull it.. Nobody measures I measure mine from the bottom of my pocket. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. I do a whole thing. It's a whole presentation. It's a whole I put together stats. Yeah. Yeah ye. What's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? That's for this. Yeah. That's weirdest penis you've ever seen.. Have ever been to a place called Epstein Island Actually, I haven't been on it, but I was really near it like recently. Oh, do you go on like the sister Island, the one that's like close like the neighbor islandhn Saint Thomas, the right Saint Thomas. Yeah. My mom was like, my friend has a place in Staint Thomas where I'm going. Do you want to go? And I was like, yeah, so I went with my mom and literally the back patio. There it was. actual Epstein ass Island was like right there. Like you could have roowboated to it Yes. Jet ski is what they use. Right. They've like revamped they've tried to make they took like the gold thing like the blue and white thing, they've like painted it just just like beige and they took the gold like Satanic pyramid off U And so they're like, maybe no one will know no is the There it was really scary. The project of you Jet skiing to Epstein Island from Saint Thomas is O. I have to push this. I have to pitch this to you and to a group of producers. We have got to do an island adventure. We've got to go All right, be the first drag queen to ever go to Epstein Island any I won't. But J, that's a problem now. man walking around with three penises He can't tell anybody and he doesn't know And you know he's just some fucking weird man You know, he's just some gross weird old British man who's like, Oh Tops and totish. Oh know you know he was kind enough to donate his body to science knowing that he had three cocks. I mean three dicks. He didn't even know though. He probably literally never I wouldn't know if I had three dicks in my balls. Yeah. In my balls ust his balls hurt his whole life. They Apparently he had lots of he had a hernia too. It was his third dick getting hard. That's what it is. It's this little tiny dick responding to everything on the inside. It's probably the one making all the bad decisions. Right. Indoor deck, outdoor deck. My if I had an indoor deck He would be because my outdoor deick is already filled with horrific thoughts and and and horrible energy And the the little penis behind him, canan you imagine the Stehven Miller? Oh penis is like the evil and The dick Cheney of your main penis is in your other balls. Give it advance. I All right, so I got asked this question. We were talking about this on the last episode of Sideestories. and I need your opinion as A fashion icon Okay, handandlebar muststache Where do you whereere do you lie? Love it. You love it. Cers. Re. No They were very again. Dirty, very like very like pride, like seventies kind of. This lady was telling us a story because we because what I said, I appreciate men that have handlear maches because I've also had difficult man facial hair before. And I find it takes T from my perspective, it's a guy that has put a handlebar mustache in order to sort of like be like, hey, hit me Hey, someone come punch me. You know what I mean? like, oh, someone come everybody gather around doesn't anybody want to hit me I now realize like that's not true because I got a lot of messages from women that have said that specifically the handable Rustest makes them feel safe And then also one woman was saying that she was riding a man with a handlebar mustache and she said that it was the only time she's ever been asked to grab the bars of the mustache the hand ofs and pull them while she was Which I've never have you ever done that I can honestly say I've never done that. Right No. See, okay seeee, I never thought of I never thought of it that way. Is that why it's called a handlebar? I guess so. I don't think it's supposed to be I don't think your lip is that strong. But does the handlebar mustache have different connotations in the gay and straight communities? Absolutely. So yeah, becauseuse like a straight guy with a handlebar mustache That's like a whole different story. That's what I''s like, yeah, like I'm vintage. It's like very cute. It's fun. Yeah, you were talking about IPA salesmen. It's a different type of leatherwork. Yeah. I'm talking about a guy and a lot of like what you know, they got those the light bulbs with just sort of the copper wiring on them Edison A a gastroub. Yeah very very Yeah the top with a handlebar use mustache useless Totally useless. Usless. What are you with? I don't know. She said the main problem was she said that where she started to kind of like get out of it was like the snap of it She said that when she took it in the like the snap of the the product in his little tips that kind of bumped her out of the whole experience. Oh I wonder if it gets really cold if it could snap off They can Wow. That's how you get gum out of hair I'm coold Yeah, you freeze it. Oh, no shit. Really? Or you freeze it and then you beat it with a hammer or you put peanut butter on. You're thinking of a Simpsons episode. think try getting it out with a bone. It only gets worse. You're thinking of twenty two shorts films about Springfield, Yep Isn' it So wait, a handlearma, that's a handlearma session. Yeah. I was thinking of this. A Y fu man shoe I was thinking of a totally different thing.. You're thinking of a more m my shoe is awesome Fu Man Chu is awesome and fierce. See, I was thinking of the wrong things. S I was saying to replace the handlebar with the Fu Man Chu. If you have to put wax in, no, don't I don't care. No, I don't want the horse That's just people wanting I understand fuan chew as it is not societally correct anymore Foo womoman, Chu. Thank you It's like attached Yeah. but like a handlebar has the like doopsy doopsy doo and I had that I did these mustaches connected to the sideburns for a while, but I was trying to be unfuckable. Yeah that was the thing. I was trying to I didn't want the attention to women at the time I thought the imperial I had the imperial. and I thought that was really cool for a while and I didn't care what happened. But you know what's funny That's how I end up with my ex girlfriend. Yeah, that was your Confederate reenactor face. It's just because I'm a queen's boy and I just want to feel what it's like to be a rebel Never got to be. Well it was this was wonderful Thank you so much, Alaska for coming. Make sure you talk the song listen to Revolution by Alaska Thunderfuck five thousand. It's unbelievable. It's on Spotify, Apple Music add it to all your summer playlists. It's fucking awesome. It's all about serve and C startarting a goddamn revolution here. That's something we need to do. Yeah. we do. And you get any shows coming up U he has like one hundred because it's June. and in June, it is Christmas and I am Santa Claus. No I'm going to have free wee. That's October for us. Yes. that's October time. So what is your like is there a good place for people to see like where all your dates are My website alaskathunderfuck dot com where you can also get this exciting hat. Please buy that h. I'm gonna buy get that as a podhead, I have to ask. what happened to Alaska Thunderfuck the marijuana? It's gone. It's still out there. It is f. Okay, good. Sometimes people gift it to me and then my fiance smokes a gray. Okay good. It does exist. All right, shar. because we were in Alaska recently at a weed store and I was screaming about it and then they were like, it doesn't make it anymore I know it makes a day It does exist And they make vapes of it too. They've seen this