Explaining Monologue Jokes and Guest Lists

What you're about to hear is an audio recording of a recent episode of Seth Myers Corrections To watch new episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night YouTube channel. In the year twenty twenty one, late night talk show host Seth Myers unleashed the full fury of the internet with the utterance of a single word. Leg L These are the stories of one man's descent into the bowels of the internet and his courageed to take on the most dangerous people on Earth YouTube commenters Recorded every Thursday after the audience has left Studio HG and witnessed only by scattered members of the late night staff and crew This is Corrections, the podcast corrections. Episode one hundred seventy six of Monday, june eighth. twenty twenty six. There's no such class as AP algebra. Algebra's for eighth graders, startarting to think now, they told me it was an AP class in high school to make me feel better about myself Got a letter, an angry letter T whom it may concern, mainly Seth, Id write to You this evening to express my ineffable displeasure, made disappointment at the lack of animal flubs in recent times I feel like I need to point out that I'm currently at work. I'm in an emergency department. yet here I am not taking care of my patients but writing to you With a goddamn pen and paper But I digress, according to a quick Google search, there's been no animal flub since episode ninety one. This is completely unacceptable. been entered into the record, I guess We said Donald Trump his gold statue would have to get hot in a car to melt. I knew. I looked up what the melting point of gold was. It's ninetine hundred forty seven degrees and I was going to say it in a closer look just to please you, but the show's not for you I knew it was coming, but I'm not going to just stop every closer look when we're like writing for comedy to you know, to do the corrections So if you want to know like how could it get hot enough in a car to get up to ninetine hundred and forty seven degrees, the car would be on fire and the person in the car on fire would also be getting YouTube comments Um, We had been on the show last week correction, an appearance that can only be described as divisive I'd say the only comment we didn't get on Ben was too early to tell O like reserving judgment until the next one. Some people were fans of them. Other people were not My favorite was based on the fact that Ben currently has a mustache Someone said I feel like Ben's porno career might be taking a toll on his improv instincts Someone said he comes from the What No School of impmrov Or maybe even the huh why Sool live imp Prov. This was a very hurtful one about Ben and I and our Banter, or chemistry. Someone wrote E Colbert was the one that got canceled Now I will say if we run it back, I would definitely allow Ben to be his natural self. like I gave Ben the note to be surly. Ben's not surly in real life. So for everybody who thought that Ben was being Ben there, Ben was just taking direction from someone who obviously got the vibe a little bit wrong. So you know if you see Ben here again, know that it's our effort to correct which is, of course, the heart of what we're doing here our efforts to make it more amenable to you a group of impossible to please people Oh, we said that Jeffrey Dahmer ate at five guys. Someone said, I thought he ate Jack in the box What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorraainna Bobbittt? And before I give you the punchline, I'm just glad we're bringing you back to a time when there was a monoculture. And again, not everything we knew about was good. We knew about Lorea Bobbt, we knew Jeffy Dahmer. in fact, for the kids who were watching Crections, all four of you, I guess. Pause real quick I think the joke will land better if you know a little bit more about Lorea Bobbet What she did Welcome back What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbt? Are you going to eat that U, o, we have this graphic about Donald Trump. Unicorn horns were forty percent longer this year. Somebody wrote in a longime listener, member of KQuate Army first Jackyl, C correction the unicorn graphic is far more than twenty five percent longer. In fact when zoomed in on my phone. The smaller horn measured thirty millimeters with the larger thirty four millimeters that would actually represent An increase of one hundred and sixty one point fifty four percent So there on the old unicorn whichich means it's time for. And what's that Oh, because we don't do it because it's a mystical beast Sorry, dude I wore my glasses, which I'm feeling pretty good about, you know, I get some compliments on my reading glasses I don't know. Would you shoemaker, you've got a good ear for compliments Be honest, shhoemaker, if you receive this in written form, would you would it give you a little Oh Give you a little like jump in your step But somebody said something as kind as Seth in Glasses looks like Rachel Madow's much, much, much older brother I did I did throw it out to the world that anybody who wanted to send in reading glasses, I'd try them on. and IBOobs, I think there's a company that's getting away with free advertising here. but If the glasses are bad It'll backfire. They sent me a Th these are called the Wisecracker I gotta be honest, this is a big swing from the people over at ibOs Look, I'm giving them a fair shake. I'm these are the ones they sent, you know, a lot of options here U Well, these might Th these might have a chance. These are u Biffs Sts think they're weird. With love. I just feel like so far they're glasses for a person with a smaller head U Did you guys ever like watch the show though Oh these are, those were called the Pcker headads, so I think they at least The Wack ofoodles. What is going on here Girl, Shoeemaker I believe I've cracked in the monologog. surprising number of glasses. right, is the last one Um These are the Midnights B onees, right That's one so far. All right, so IBobs reach out if you want to if you wanna be a sponsor on any of my podcasts. Hey, Seth, say the names Oh The guests this week Phineias U Matt and Bowen Phineneas, Matt and Bowen That's three, so it's a hot start Oh God Oh God, this is the first week I haven't made sure to check Oh, Oh my God, wait Oh my God Now I feel like this is putting me in my head I got to put on my thinking glasses Oh, why didn't I write it down I mean This is crazy. I can't remember a single guest on the show this week. It's been a week, you guys Like I' not I feel like if I get one, they'll all fall in Pase Why did I offer this Why did I say do this Um I know people who haven't been on Hold on I may write down the al I think if I write down the alphabet Crazy Are you holding up your phone to help me From the from there. One point five. threeree Four point five I'm going to do this. And by the way, these have been too short. This is a good way to stretch it out Mike Sher and Joe Posnansky, Emily Blnt Okay, that's good I mean, that's six. That's like almost a normal week Paul Rudd was last Thursday. Um, Kenny Chesney I don't think' ever been on. Dave Matthews Hink was last week Dave Matthews, who is here with Dave Matthews Dave Matthews U Dave Matthews was there was an act ress D Matthews was on Tuesday. That meant there were three guests. It was was a very unfair week to do it because there was so many guests Very unkind choice by shhoemaker Um This is the thing. is this is we're currently doing content that is submitted for an Emmy. We won't submit this one, but Dave Matthews is on with They can't do this if you guys are so loud That's still slake seven I can't believe I forgot that was a thing. All right Moving on You guys That was a crazy KX game last night And um, Bayes is a big mix fan. And this is really cool. Last night, his wife Sue Got him tickets It's a John Lithgow and Giant onn the night of one of the greatest basketball games of all time. Alex Bayays was watching John Lithgo Pay children's author, Roll Dahl But I did hear from Henry who was also there And this speaks to the skill of Bayes that Bayes quietly was whispering throughout the play. Litho Nicks Guys, one of my favorite things about Bays is you know, he works on the monologue and there are days where I'm working on a closer look to the point that the first time I read the monologue jokes is off cue cards with Wally in the dressing room And sometimes the punchlines of the jokes are contained in the graphics over my shoulder And so sometimes I'll read the joke and I won't understand what the The joke is because I don't know what the picture is. And so what Bays will do is he will passive aggressively tellell me what's in photo as a way to explain the joke to me. And I say passive aggressively because I think that Bes is a little mad that I haven't read the jokes Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to try what it would look like If instead of the photo, it was just Bays telling you what the photo was So these are jokes over the past year that I've had to have Bays explain the photo to me Alex, are you ready The restaurant supply company Seedating Masters recently published a ranking of the best fast food French fries. And you know it's legit because it was written by this guy So you go out of typewriter Authorities in Australia arrested a man last week for allegedly stealing fifty three rightite shoes from a shoe store. The suspect was very cooperative and reportedly Greated the police thing. A, you got me Pirate with Pg leg According to a new study, Google searches for penile fracture increased during the holiday season Because some of those chimneys are tight Santa in a hospital bed In honor of National Lobster Day, Pete's Clambar on Long Island recently freed a lobster that had been living in a tank at the restaurant for years Unfortunately, the lobster was simply unable to adjust to life Lobster tail hanging down next to a kicked over stool The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission issued an executive order last week, allowing residents to collect iguanas that have been temporarily paralyzed by cold temperatures. and bring them to designated collection sites likeike this one RrB's Microsoft co founder Bill Gates testified today before the House Oversight Committee about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, along with the help of his lawyer. Cllippy Pizza recently announced that it's hiring a first of its kind official hut crust connoisseur who will taste and vview the chain's pizza crusts. And don't worry, they found someone with years of experience. A pigeon A toad rescue group in England has reported that this was the best year for mating toads since twenty twelve, But don't tell that to Arnold. Nerdy toad with glasses In a new podcast interview, Sylvester Stallone said he wanted to play Rambo again by using artificial intelligence to dege him But they're still working to get the settings right Baby with a headband and machine gun And finally, According to a new survey, more than half of Americans said they use YouTube for DIY projects But it's still only the second most popular Do it Yourself website. Porn hub logo I did that a little bit slower than usual where it was slower than I planned and hopes that it would jog my memory But it didn't work Got a little little one little last window There was me on the cover of the Daily News. Loand ann after trained after sitting on his own balls Somebody pointed out Why is a page one of two hundred and sixty five Great question received a note from an Ava I Hey Setha, I want to make you laugh. Sorry I brought your childhood dream to life. Here's a serial bus Cartoon, can you show it to the Jackals, please from Ava U Ava, I'm gonna tell you what I told Jenks. We do not accept outside submissions for corrections Please don't make that mistake again Oh my go do this? I'm sorry. I know this is I know this is bad to watch I know this is bad for everybody who's like, don't swot that one for the Emies No I was going to say, I wish I had been here to help, but he No idea. Again, just if I could just shake one loose You know what? this is good for all of us to learn Don't make Don't be cocky Im to do it though I mean okay, hold Shut Oh God Here's a link. watch the link What was the link Rafa, he was last Thursday. All right. Dave Matthews is here. He was that Second guest So there was somebody after And there was somebody before him All right, it's a process of elimination Who's someone more famous than Dave Matthews and who's someone less famous than Dave Matthews? Now Is we interesting, like just if this gets more views than last week? 'causeuse I think it would support the algorithm that the longer these are, the more people watch them 'cause now I feel like I gotta get it. This has just been like four minutes of just nothing I just feel like Everyone's watching me R. I know I'm walking into a dressing room Jenny Hgel All right, Jenny Hagegel I'm missing three people. I think I'm gonna do it guys, I'm so sorry they' let you down And to the three guests I forgot, I just like D don't wanna put this on you, but like you gotta like be more memorable. When you're here, you gota try to stand out more All right U Hs, wasas it someone on Broadway currently? Jankks You're not allowed to leave Jakes Who are you on that No, Js? No Was itt someone on Broadway Yes, Okaykay Someone currently on Broadway, musical or play Musical, okay Currently on Broadway Musical It's a musical. It's running now. It's yes or no Could I buy a ticket for it this week I could have bought a ticket for it last week This is u Reminder So I do millionaire not to have Shoemaker as my phona friend I mean, this is a kind, I mean, at this point it's kind of cool that it might be the longest corrections ever. Um a musical O Broadway right now Singing songs. Scond revival or new Don't point just talk Revival Great, new musical Not a revival, not a new musical So a revival Is it a musical or not Did you guys say it was a musical What kind of other kinds All right, tell me the names of the three people, I forgot Josh Gad. And Andrew Ryolds were so there was like a hundred guests this week. All right, Gad and Reynolds, shame on me And who else Hannah Burner Amy Adams Well It's a real shame on me but also u lot of gass this week, shoot me We can't believe he waited for a week where there were three extra guests. He I mean, just yeah It's so uncalled for Um And You'll see me next week But I tell you who's not going to see me this weekend, my family because I'm gonna to be sitting right here Until Monday. Thinking about what A disappointment I am and his punishment going wear these. See me next week For more episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night podcast wherever you get your podcasts. and to watch Corrections with all the exciting visual references you missed herear, subscribe to the Late Night withith Seth Myers YouTube channel