Second Thoughts and Closing Remarks

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Huzza, said the founders Jefferson and John Adams, former allies turned adversaries, died on the same day fifty years later, on july fourth, eighteen twenty six For John Adams, that's like when Farra Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson for a moment, you're like, o right, Ferra Faossid died. John Adams's last words were said to be Thomas Jefferson still survives, but unbeknownst to him Jefferson had died a few hours earlier. Adam shows up to heaven, pissed. Staint Peter tells him Jefferson died And then John Adams is like, OK, then where is he? And Saint Peter says, Oh, he's not here, babe. And then how John Adams laughed, Eat shit, Thomas, enjoy kissing the devil in the French way Speaking of how The Trump administration's great American state fair is in full swing on the national Mall. It's pretty cool. You use Trump cryptocoin to buy tickets for the carnival games. And then if you win, you get tokens that you can exchange for Trump crypto coins. Now Congress had created a bipartisan nonprofit called America two hundred fifty to organize the events then launched a competing organization called Freedom two hundred fifty so that he could turn the occasion, originally meant to be a patriotic celebration for everybody into what Trump himself described as a kind of MAGA rally Not since your sister wore white to your wedding and announced that she was pregnant during her toast, has someone tried so hard to ruin an event by making it about themselves? Artists like Martina McBride, Young MC, and Brett Michaels pulled out of their schedued concerts at the fair because they didn't realize that the event had become politicized And they're right, Sid fairs are where all Americans, young and old, straight and gay, liberal and conservative come together on a hot summer day to give themselves diarrhea. The fair kicked off Wednesday, june twenty fourth with musical performances and welcome speeches like this one from transransportation secretary and former real world contestant Sean Duffy. To start this off, I think we have to give A big round of applause for our military band in singers wayay better than those lip tards that canceled on us. It might seem like calling the artists lip tards is a great way to prove that they were right to cancel, but that's not fair. This was just a last ditch effort by Sean Duffy to convince the black eyed peas to show up and play Let's get Lb tarded here. Each day of the great American state fair is dedicated to different Trump approved themes such as Horsepower of America, wings of Freedom and the American Canvas Other days include a salute to divorced dads, red, white and two genders, and poetry Day, just kidding Gunday. There is also, and this is real, Maha Monday where visitors can learn about, quote, feeling better, living longer, and doing it the American way, whichich I guess means eating a salad while busting a union. Don't let the hell talk worry you too much, though, because this is still a fair and you can still get a corn doog and there will be eating contests. and the fair's porta potties will honor tradition by having three settings occupied, vacant, and this place is not a place of honor. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. The danger is still present in your time as it was in ours, this place is best shunned and left uninhabited. The last day of the fair is dedicated to the next two hundred fifty, including a celebration of robotics and artificial intelligence And it was all going swimmingly until lightning struck that one robot and it screamed the Lord's prayer. and then it started counting down in a kind of monotone toward what seems to be a specific day and time a few years from now Weird. In the meantime, visitors can ride the ferris wheel that has been erected on the National Mall And this just in, the ferris wheel is covered in algae. I repeat. The algae has taken the ferris wheel Meanwhile Bush's Baked beans debuted a limited edition summer trio of patriotic baked bean flavors, Dill Pickle Apple Pie and Rocket Pop In my day, you can only experience exciting flavor combinations like this if you threw up Look, on a hot summer day as a kid, whenever I had an ice cold rocket pop, I often thought, gee, this would be better if it were piping hot beans And of course, july fourth brings Nathan's famous annual hot doog eating contest at Coney Island, where the world record for hot dogs eaten in one sitting competitively, seventy six was set by Joey Jaw's Chestnut in twenty twenty one Boy, I wish I could gobble down that many wieners, said South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham This year will also feature the first Ozempic hot doog eating contest in which contestants will compete to finish one hot dog. And finally Over ten thousand big bear residents signed a petition asking the town to cancel the annual Fourth of July fireworks Sctacular despite the boon to local tourism. as it would disturb the area's celebrity bald eagle family which includes two new eaglets, Sandy and Luna Don't press your luck, bald Eagles, we did right by you DDT was awesome. It killed a lot of bugs. All right, but we stopped using it because it made your shells so thin that eagle moms would lay eggs and then crush those eggs under their own weight. Which I agree is deeply sad, but we stopped it for you. Don't mess with the fucking fireworks, or we can go back to Benjamin Franklin's original pitch of making the turkey our national bird. I swear those freaky gobbling birds like being eaten. It's their kink. Oh, the widow baby eagles are scared. Grow up, this is America, and I don't care if it frightens the last white rider to death. We light it up The Hershey's bars don't come in foil anymore. All our cars are ugly and gray. You can't buy a house unless you already own a house. So we're gonna to do the fireworks. And if those birds wantan to be fags about it, they could take their nest to fucking Canada. Say it with me. U say U say, US say. All right, we've got a great show for you And we will be right back Hey, don't go anywhere, There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up Lover to leave it is brought you by stamps. com We could all use a few more hours, even minutes in the day for ourselves. to Skip your trip to the post office and stop letting mailing steal your precious little time with stamps. com With stamps. com, you can print postage and shipping labels from your computer or phone twenty fourty seven with up to ninety percent off UPS USPS FedEx and more, no lines, no trips, no waiting, get everything done in minutes and even schedule free pickups so carriers come right to you. 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That is until I found pre alcohol. We were just in Chicago for the opening of the Obama presidential Center. and brought z biotics and before I left the hotel, I would just threw zibiotics down because I knew I was going to be having a couple drinks. I don't know I normally have drinks two or three nights in a row. Yeah, let me tell you Chicago really tested the outer bounds of Zeb had it? Absolutely. But it held up, But it held up, but it held up biotics, alcoholiot drink is the world's genetically enineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how works When you drink alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre alcohol your first drink of the night, drink responsibly, and you'll feel your best tomorrow. 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Drink prebycohol before you go out and wake up ready for whatever Sunday brings Head to Zeiotics d. com slash love it. use code love it to check out for fifteen percent off that Zbiotics d. com slash love it. code, love it Mark Duplas will be out in just a moment, but first, if you are a friend of the Pond, thank you. And if you're not, consider this your midterm reminder. In addition to even more Pon Sve America content, like On Friends, that's our podcast that's just for subscribers and our openp Tabs newsletter. you get ad free breaking news. you support independent media, you can trust plus, you get a discounted ticket to Crooked Con please, please, please, become a friend of the pod. We provide a lot of content and it's a great way to support a pro democracy media company. So go to crokut dot com slash friends to learn more. And if you are in LA, come check out the news studio. People are having a great time, right? They're right Upcoming guests include Margaret Cho, Langston Kerman and Dana Gould. Plus, we have the first Gen Z member of Congress, Maxwell Frz join us, so go to crricut d. com slash events to get those tickets. All right. Please welcome to the stage. The taller one, Mark Dubas Hi. Hi, good to see you buddy. Thanks for being here I got three chairs. What do Im gonna to say? hereere, sit closest to be close.. sit close. So I want to tell you something. I wanted to make sure I didn't say duplus becausecause I believe I've undiagnosed dyslexia, so I struggle with reading things phetically. So here's how I rememberered to say it, which was du plus due equals door What is dyslexia, you think I think it's not that. R for sure. Well, some people like to sit in a chair just kind of like normally and some people can't sit. Can't do it. Can't do it. And I think it has something to do with that. It might be. Yeah I can get your line. I can get your. Yeah. So back rooms. Backrooms. Back rooms. which is not The backrooms. You know who the fans are because basically everybody over twenty five calls it the backrooms Oh. L the Walmart, the Steinemart, the thing. And then everybody under twenty five who is a fan of the movie calls it Backroom. So you did really well. Thanks a lot. I try to keep in touch with the youth. Can you tell me what happens so it's less scary when I go see it? Yes. Okay So I'm going to start at the end So here's the thing about backackrooms. it's the truth. I don't think Backrooms is an empirically like scary movie. It weirdly to me, I can't believe this movie is as popular as it is. It's like A strange Eastern European mood piece that happened to be an internet meme that a bunch of people came to see. But when I saw the movie before it went out, I was like Oh, these kids they're going to be upset that this is not more jump scary and all that stuff, but they fucking loved it. And I was so happy I was at a d'e inn in upstate New York and it had this It was it had built this of indoor space between what had previously been a motel, and there was an arcade that was making noise twenty four hours a day, fake plants and a kind of pool. So the whole room had that kind of indoor pool smell. And it was the spookiest fucking liminal space. I feel like people, there's something about Bea I remember when the when the um The videos of the back room started going were you were watching it and Yeah.. I was seeing them and I was really freaked out by them. And then you start to experience these liminal spaces. And there really is a lot of people that there stumble upon these places and they feel like they've kind of broken through to the other side of the matrix. And I don't know what it is about. the moment of not being able to trust what you see that we're all kind of ready to believe that behind the door of a place that seems normal is a kind of back area where it's all being run. Do you feel that? Well, I feel a couple of those things. I think that there' this there's this thing that kids, I don't know if you've ever been around kids who They have this great fear that parents may not be the real parents And it's a very consistent thing with kids. And my kids, when I was when when they were like maybe three, four and five years old, one of them in particular, she would hug me at night and she would put her hand inside my shirt to feel and make sure that there was still like my body underneath this thing. And it's this deep fear that everything that we see and that we trust the most might actually not be what we think it is. And to me, that's the core of the liminal space fear. It's like this is just a millimeter off from reality and I'm not going to be able to tell And it's going to go bad Yeah It's like It's like you and I are on it. talk show kind of right now. Yeah, it's kind of kind of, but like but it's like, but it's a little bit different, right? Yeah his feelings a little bit off for sure. Yeah. And like if you're if everybody's like really quiet, there's like this subtle like little Do you hear Yeah, there's something not right right N not right. But I think that's my energy as a host. Yeah, that's it. Yeah So you had to like make a sake because people were trying to suggest that you had Speaking of things not being what they seem, that you had secretly directed back Rround. Yeah, there was this weird thing that happened where and it all sort of makes sense, Cane Parsons, who directed this film was nineteen when he directed the movie. which I think is disgusting. whichich is disgusting. And we all hate him because of that, right? But we have to find different ways to sort of operationalize that hate so we don't look petty. Right. And the main way that this materialized was people saying Oh Mark Duplas was on set. He's a mentor of young filmmakers. He clearly ghost directed the movie. That was sort of this thing that went around. I bravely came out on my social media account. So brave. Yeah, it was very brave, you know, so powerful. And I let everybody know that Caine is a great director, which is true that he directed the movie by himself that he didn't need any help for me, which is also true. But at the same time in my braveveness, I just wanted to let everybody know because I had a relatively small role in the film that I could insert myself into the conversation in a meaningful way to maybe get some more roles out of it. Right.ight Yeah. That's cool. So see that the that's realak that's Hollywood. That' Hollywood. That's it work. That's somebody who knows the business. That's someone who knows the business. You also co wrote Magic Hour with your wife, Katie who also directed and it's the first time you worked with her since I think twenty twelve, Is that right? Yeah, I mean, we do little things together, but this is the first time we had done something very meaningful. Yeah. What's the there arere there pitfalls to working with your spouse becausecause it's like you're together all day. so you can't come home at the end of day and talk about your day. How much time you got? Oh we Well guys got time. knowen You got to go a few more minutes. mattress, o. ye. But But because I used to work with my husband. Yeah. So, you know, as you might imagine, it's a love hate thing. For us it's just love. so your're st course Yeah. So I yeah, so Well, it's weird because Katie and I we are getting divorced. Oh no. God, I hate to hear that So right, so here' here's the thing. you're not getting divorced. deeply you' deeply love. Yeah. You have a deeply you have a kind of rapacious love for your wife. We have We are notoriously sort of somewhere between codependent and interdpendent, which is kind of what the movie Magic Hour is about to a certain degree was us expressing this sort of feeling of Isn't this everything you ever wanted to be so close with someone that you feel that you really can't live without them But we have become so inextricably intertwined that it can be a little problematic. And we think it's half good and half bad, so we decided to sort of make a movie about it. But to your previous question, I think for me I'm really grateful that this thing that I do, telling stories that I take very seriously, that encapsulates the highs and lows of my day can be understood by the person sleeping next to me rather than sleeping to someone who works at doctors without borders or is like, you know, you know what I don I can't stand those people And because like you sleep next to them and you want to complain about the fact that you weren't able to get your full vision across on takeake four and they're like Yeah. Yeah, we fix the cleleft palate.. You don't get to talk about take four when the cleleft palate' sleeping next to you. Right, Right. Yeah, whichich is in a way, it's like almost like insulting to you. It's like your work matters. Like who the fuck is this doctor? Yeah too act like your work doesn't matter with their whole energy. This is why is why this is why it's enough with the doctors. Yeah That's why I've come here bas. I take nothing away from this show. It's like, we gott to knock the doctors down at there. They're all high on their own supply. Speaking of people coming after you online, you had a modern love conversation with timimes in which you and your wife talked about being codependent. and then people got mad at you for suggesting you were codependent because you were describing it because they were like, that's notodependent. It's notodependent.re just independent. or interdependent. interdependent. or just maybe just clingy, you know? Yeah, you're super And I don't really understand the difference myself. I did find it interesting to learn that you and your wife have the same therapists that you don't see as couples You do, but you see individually, you share a therapist that you see for individual sessions. That is intimate. Yeah, people some people would say that that is a conflict of interest. and I would have a hard time making a co argument otherwise But for me, it sort of happens serendipitously. like when you find a good therapist, it's the greatest thing in the world. they and they are a waiting list and It is so hard to find Her than finding someone to marry, I would argue. And so we found the great therapist and it was like, well who's going to go? Well, we' both going we're both gonna go. Now there's this ancillary benefit that I just really love, which is like I can't paint Katie in some unilateral way that this therapist doesn't have other information about and sort of like, get her to say that I'm right and make me feel good and ramjam that situation to stroke my ego. She knows Katie empirically on her own alsoso saves a ton of time with exposition. She knows all the story. I can just jump right in To me it's win win I'm sure someone out there is like You have so many blind spots on this right now. You have no idea. Yeah. No, I mean, like I'm not in therapy because they they said I didn't need it. But they did. They said I was good And then I would didn't need it anymore which was cool. They're like, you're set never come back. Transcended forever. Yeah, they were like, we've never had this happen before, but really you've cracked the whole thing. Actually, I'm gonna just start telling you about my problems. Now, inspired by your modern love episode, we're gonna to play a game we're calling, loveove it and please God, don't leave it. I'm going to give you a scenario and you're gonna to answer, is this too clingy or is Race All right, first up Only being able to go to the dentist if your spouse holds your hand Hm That's just right. That to me that is a level of vulnerability that I think we all hope to achieve, which is I'm forty nine years old. I should be not afraid to go to the dentist. You love me enough that I can admit this to you and you'll not only still ideally want to fuck me at the end of the day. You'll walk me in And you get a free toothbrush at the same time. What What's your restaurant ordering process? Is it assumed that even if you order individually, you're sharing? is this is a little different, but I'm glad you asked because in a truly interdependent relationship like we have There are these areas where we defer to each other and we know we're going to defer to each other. So I don't have the most sophisticated culinary palete, whereas Katie does. So when we go to the restaurant There's going to be twoo entrees and an appetizer. All of which will be her choices that she thinks could be good. One and a half of those will work for her And then I'll eat the other stuff. And we're both totally happy to do that That being said, when it comes time to like sit down for a movie, she tends to fall asleep early at night. So I'm always going to pick the movie because she'll fall asleep in twenty minutes and then I'll ride out and pick the movie I want to watch. So we have these like little areas that we are like. and co captain of. Do you have individual thought out you guys? The therapy is great. Do you have individual shows and group shows or you know what I mean? Like becauseuse I have shows that are like I have I know that they're like A's going to watch Love Island and that's their thing. and I'm not participating in that. But then if they were to watch Elsbeth, I feel like, no, no, no, that's our thing. This is our thing. Yeah. So I did a show called The League with the greatreat Paul Sheer for many years. And he yeah, I got some fans out there. And He was asked to speak at a wedding and he realized that by the time it got to him, everybody had said everything he wanted to say. So he was like, shit, I gott to come up with something on the spot So his advice to the couple that he thought of in the moment was Do not hold each other hostage on any of the shows you wantna watch together. Let each other go and you'll have a happy marriage. I thought that was really, really really good. I thought that was really, really beautiful. So Katie and I don't hold each other to those things 'cause there are times when you're out of town, you get an episode ahead, you know. I once lied about it and told her I hadn't seen the episode. You can't pull that off. She spped that shit out on me. That' such a minute too I have to tell you something, I don't think there's there's not a person with blood in their veins who hasn't thought I'm gonna watch the episode and then fake it and watch it again. Yeah. You know what I mean? you've thought about it. It's like it's like a fantasy, you know? Y. You ever had like a It's almost like it's similar to the thing of like when you when you had a paperdo and you thought, what if I fake that I broke my leg? You know, And you never actually go through it. Once in a while, some sociopath will do it and you'll be like, oh my god, that was the kid at my school that pretended they broke their leg. You think about it do. I never did you did it. I did it. Yeah. I did it. And and I was quickly caught And there wasn't sex that night, but it's okay. We came back around. But sex three hundred sixty four other days of the year Hey, what was the yeah, was the What was the next thing you were Insisting your beloved leaves the door open while using the bathroom so you can still talk Katie's put up a boundary So for those of you who have children in the audience, you know that or dogs or needy rescue dogs, there are these moments when you start to open the bathroom doors because the kids want to get in, the dogs want to get in. Our kids are older now, they don't want to do that anymore. And so we had an open door policy for a little while, and then a few years ago, Katie was like, we're gonna shut the door I was like, I respect that you know, little wounded But but when she's in there, I do like to pass by the door and just do a little And she gets a little angry, but then a little giggle, and it's nice. One time I thought It was like the middle of the night and I woke up to go to the bathroom and U I thought Ari was sleeping next to me, but it was actually the dog had jumped in to Ari's spot And so I just went and opened the bathroom door. And We both screamed loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood, just a full blood curdling scream from the toilet, followed by a full blood curdling scream from me, causing the dog to jump off the bed and panic. And then we had to take the dog to the vet because she heard her leg from the panic screaming becausecause she was so afraid. So I couldn't turn her homework in the No. She was absolutely ass The whole thing was terrible That is an incredible horror movie. I That dog hurt. But that's like invasion of the body snatchers, likeike I see something this person is how can they are there in the bed too? Right? It was very spooky. Yeah. You know what my problem is with invasion of the body snatchers? I'm glad you brought it up. Oh, that's I don't agree with that. You don't think it was. You don't think it's good film. You don't think the Donald Tutherland version is good. Here's my problem. They don't snatch the bodies. They just kill you They just kill you and use the shape. If they grow in new ones, I thought invasion of the body snatchers is they have a body, they snatch you Repplace the brain? No They take you and desiccate you and make a new plant version of you That only talks like you. They're not snatching the bodies. They just kill you. You know It' just invasion of the body killers. If you and I were like twenty three years old and living in deep Brooklyn in an apartment together and we hadn't like yet made it in the industry and you said that to me, I'd be like Okay, tonight. I made it next to the industry.' we're going to make this short film. We're going dress you up as like, you know Ciskll And you're going to give the review of invasion of the Body Snatches someone who clearly loves the movie, but has to give it a zero review because there's no snatching. Hey that four minute short film Mologue. needs to be done. Here's my feeling. I just learned something about you and us, which is Why do I have to be siscical Why't you be siscical? I wantan to be fucking Ebert.'re sis. You want to bebert shit.'reis.'rebert I'm sisical. You're't. You do have the that specific type of anger. It just showed up. You you think I have a siscical energy? Yeah. kind of kind of like a vaguely like kind of Niles Cane adjacent kind know like I'm gonna be, I'm gonna the sol man nine out of ten times, but on number ten You're gonna like breathe wrong and I'm gonna tear your face off. Okay, you're Ebert, I'm Sisical. That's right. Tracking your significant otherother's location. Do you have F m on on your phones? We do. The whole family's got it. The two daughters, my wife and myself. I find it's interesting. There are some couples, great couples that are like, no, never. and then there's some that like, of course, why not? And it's an interesting you guys feel we're on. I like no and. we're always seeing each other's location. Has there ever been a moment for you where you're like Oh, there's a little white lie here I'd like to tell, but he they've got my location. So what do I do? This is gonna sound it's birthday present shopping. Yeah. I swear' that's when I try to turn it off. But you are posturing for the audience. No, I know. I want them to think you're amazing. you know, plus my affairs. but the other game recognizeed it. Yeah. Yeah. pllus my affairs All right, let's see. holding hands while driving? That seems wrong We do it all the time. No We do it All the time, a there is a thing where Katie's grandparents were like our heroes because when I met them He would always he would never let her pass without like giving her a little cute little tap on the butt and little kisses. And and I saw it and I was like He's not always wanting to do this and she's not always wanting to receive this, but there is a fake it to make itness where they just keep doing this and they have kept that rhythm up. And it has and it sustained them. So Katie and I saw them we were like, okay twentyw percent of the time we're not gonna feel like doing this, but we're going to do it so we can stay in the rhythm. And we just just kind of wrote butt pats. That's the secret to a happy life. You get it. I'm in, you get it. You're gonna go home tonight. shit's gonna change. And just right. And you can watch Magic Hour, the movie you wrote With your wife, Katie is now on video on demand, and we'll be right back Hey, don't go anywhere, there's more of Love it or Leave it coming up love her to leave his broght you by Helix ep Oh my gosh, it's so important. a good night's rest sets you up for a great next day. So I was supposed to wake up. I don't know what the person I believe I'm gonna to be on Monday morning when I'm making this plan on Sunday morning, but I was like, you know what? I'm gonna get up early and go to a gym class on Monday morning before I come in. And I woke up early and I was like I'm just gonna sleep an extra hour, but then Punda was up and so Punda barked me for the hour so I't get the sleep anyway, tough Today I feel great because I'm Helix mattress. Helixlivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping the US. 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You know, you know you hit your you got some good stuff in there You know drrink AG one dot com slash, love it. To get a free AG one travel case with seven free AG one travel packs in your welcome kit with your first AG one subscription order while supplies last. That's drink agG one dot com slash, love it Hey, we're back bud Please welcome to the stage. X marks the spot. It also marks our next guest. Please welcome to the stage, X Mayo Hi, welcome. welcome to Bing it in. Nice to meet you. Thanks for being here First of all, love love the love the jumpsuit. love jit. I'm gonna go through your phone if that's cool. Okay. He has very intimate relations. He's a clingy guy. You get used to it. You s like that the whole time? Sometimes I can get lower. okay I just don't I feel No, no, that's good. It opens up your hips. you know, now that I'm approaching forty, I'm you know, getting out the bed in sections. So, you know I have a myo fascicial person, you know, that's nothing that you what is the So you have fascia. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with this. Okay, thank you Okay, fascia is in between the bone. it protects the bone. so you got to work that out So it's like above the muscles. So that stuff needs to move. So think about if you open up a orange and you peel it apart, all that white shit, that's fascia. we got to work that out. And she's very stubborn. Interesting. Yeah. so it's like when I went to go see her, I was like, oh, 'cause I'm training for this fitness competition. I was like, Hey, we need you to work on my running She was like, do you know how to walk? And I was like, bitch,'ve been walking since I was two Like what she mean, know, it's like if somebody ask like, Do do you know how to talk, John? Like Mark, do you know how to like, write? It's like, yeah, you know how to write. You've been writing for forever, you know,. So I was like walk and so she was like, yeah, but you don' know how to wal I think I need to go to this person because I think I don't know how to walk. My g is so weird. I you opened up my hips and I was like, my hips closeed. You know, I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah John, can we see the? Yeah the wall I'll show you my weird w.. It's a weird g. It's hard to do I' be self conscious. I gonna try to walk as if no one's here. Just try It's a little weird.. think I think I think you're prime to fall because it's like it's like a one step it doesn't really make sense. Like you see what I mean? I can't even describe it. It's a weird gait. And there's another it's hard to know what the problem is, but there's something not quite right with how I'm walking. I'm in very goodape. The left foot's going out a little bit. Y. And my grandfather had that as well. We had the outgo left foot Oh, so you inherited that. I think so. Yeah. It kind of like a heirloma. W your grandather Daniel Day Lewis, he did that movie in my left foot. You know what? I to do a movie called? No, but but Daniel Day Lewis studied my grandp to get into the character. And that's what's so amazing about that. Okay. Hey, you are writing for the BET Awards. Yes, yes, I just left work. Any any tips if you want to make money on Kowi like you know, best artist or anything like that. You wantike to make money on those betting markets on like the Kaussi betting markets. That's where people bet on real world events through through So for it would literally be like How long before John falls walking across the stage? you put and you put make one minute you can bet on two seconds, you know Wait, that's a thing. Yeah, it's terrible. Wait all you can like be bet I bet right the should of really what are can probably bet on the BT awards right now.. Okay, well, I mean, don't do it. I think there's like it's ethically dubious and law and the law is a bit murky, but he's a big Trump person that they'll come after you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. so don't inside or trade if you do know who wins best male hop artist of year you watch But tell me after R right Yeah' whisper you'll get your bequet. Don'try about that. Beet,s like that's like crypto. sureure. Yeah. Okay, That's another version of you. You'll make some money. You'll make help we'll do.. You know. Okay. Well Well, for the BT awards, I don't know what you said it's called calisthetics. It's Cal shei. Calh Cow she. Yeah. Cowhei. Yeah. Okaykay. I don't know what they would do on Cow I know how to vote, but I would say watch it to help my residuals. Great, perfect. Perfect. go. you were Witing for the Daily Show. Yes. You know, we comeome on. Oh thank you. Thank you. Mr. Trevor Noah. What was your strategy for keeping up with the news all the time without losing it, 'cause I don't have one. Yeah, I think there's a point when working in specifically something like the Daily showh, where you're no longer human. So it kind of like broke me down because I got to a point. so my mentor, my everything, my since say Jubin Parang, he's still there. Juben and I were performing together at UCB, long story short. I had no idea what the fuck he did at the Dalily short or anything like that. To me, he was an improv god. And I was about to move back to L. because I'm from LA. born and raised I did New York for five years. I'm not speining another the fucking winner here and I'm broke. So I was like, God, listen, I'm out of here. I gott to go. He was like, I'm gonna to pitch you to Trevor to write the show and And I said, God fr No, God as in him up there. Jesus. Yeah. I don't know who you serve. I respect that. No I got it. Right. Yeah. I'm open I think everybody faith is right. Be Buddhist, yoga, bow down to a Lollipop, I don't give a fuck. justust try to be better. You know, right? So I just wanted to say that, you know Iving in faith all of that. Okay. So when I was like, God, I can't be here and be broke, right? So then Jubin was like, Hey, I'm gonna pit you to Trevor to write the show and And I say, what the fuck do you do Right? Because you know, LA, everybody's agent, everybody got a card, everybody do something. I'm like, what do you do? He could be working crafty. You know, like what do you do? And he was like, oh, I'm a producer for the show. And I was like, okay, great. So then once I got there, I'm saying that because with Jubin, there was a point where I forgot what the fuck the story was about. And I was like, Jubin, cant I can't make a joke about it. Like we can't make a joke I can't make a joke about likeike I can't. Like I just felt so like this is immoral. Like this this we can't make joke about this person. He looked me in my eye And he fucking did a Jedi Mry. He looked at me my e I didn't blink. He said, X, there's always a joke And from that point on, I haveve become the most problematic person. I mean That's beautiful. I like I There's alwaysall I got two sketches for you. You know, like I just yeah, I just at funerals, it's bad. I have to like to like turn it off like because I see it. But so so what I'm saying is like I was able to keep up with it because there's a part of me that kind of just dies And to do the job, you know, essentially. But then there was because I'm such an actor, because I'm such an artist, there would be the other part of me that would come back up, which is helpful because I'm very passionate. So there would be certain jokes that I feel hit more because there was emotion behind it. and Trevor' such a fucking brilliant genius. So yeah, so I had to get a Twitter Did I have Twitter? 'cause they were like Trump take hiszick out, you know, gotta ready. gott be ready, see that see that little titszy roll. And so I was like, okay, gotta ready, We see it. And so yeah, so it was just like the internet and also being black woman there' certain stories that I'm like, I care about that are like, you know, maybe like the masses or the traditional daily show audience wouldn't. So I'm on other outlets as well. Ts I'm like, Trevor, what if we talk about this? ' there's a way to like surprise the audience do stuff. It's like, oK, we know fucking, you know, New York Times going to say Washington Post, but it's like these outlets like the jasmine brand, the shhade room, like, you know, what's going on Hollywood Unlock? likeike what's the ear to the streets? And because Trevor is, you know, black and so he's like wants to know those things as well. So I think that was great too because he has such an international voice So yeah That was my long win answ. I'm soor that was good. Yeah U Mark Did you ever have any strange encounters with the TSA at the airport. Well I Notice at a certain point that I was getting away with more liquids than I should. You guys noticice this lately? Yes, it seems it's like I forgot put the big toothpaste in and I was like, oh I'm gonna get they didn't catch me It seems as though, I think that's such an important and interesting point that we should all be chill about. and not make a big deal of. But it seems like they know the liquid rule was bad The government they're also afraid that they announce all liquids are good. Next thing you know This bad liquid bomb thing happens again. So they have to kind of allow the rule to hold that line away without ever actually letting the rule go away. And we all live in a kind of gray zone where it's like as long as it it could be more than three point four, but it can't feel like more than three point four. you know? Everybody's getting very vibey at the te Which is that's why it's so confusing because that's sort of fluid energy is not something we're used to at the airport. If your bag is fifty pounds and zero point one fucking ounce, an extra two hundred dollars, you're done There's no fluidity there So yeah, it's a theory. The problem is I just I wish we knew someone who like worked there who I know. I wish there was somebody could ask who had maybe like in the TSA work there could kind of give their expert wait to X Mo, did you work for the TSA Yes. And you were TSA agent. This is crazy. so you were a TSA agent from two thousand eight to twenty ten. Yes, a little over twenty ten. Yes. I did I did my bid, I did my time And LAX. And LAX. Yes, T four, baby. never T four. T four International. No, no, no, that's American. Yeah, that's Americanight. Sometimes it would you can connect. You can connect. youimes sometimes you get an American flight and you're like where am I walking? And then all of a sudden You're in it. So wait, what was your TSA experience like? It was amazing. I love working and I genuinely love people And I thrive in customer service And I feel like that was like a real customer service job. I did not fuck around. I took my job very seriously. I didn't realize at the time because I did not have the comedic language to say that I was doing bits or that I was just like, you know, I'm just have always just been horny for the stage. I've been performing since I was eight. So when I got to TSA at twenty three, I had quit acting for the second time. I was like, fuck it, I'll get a job because at that point, I'd been auditioning for eleven years, never booked I was like, okay, well maybe this isn't the thing So then I would never want to be tagged out of the mag where you make the announcements I fucking loved it because you had to listen to me So I had like an audience that was forced and if you fucked up, you wouldn't get on your flight You wna listen to me? okay. fine. Well, then you are exhibiting terrorist like activity. I need to have additional screening. You know? So I loved it. and everyone, no one loved to talk, no oneed to do anything. So they're like, yeah, leave X there for the whole fucking, you know thing. And so yeah, no, I loved it, but I took my job very seriously. I did find things The general public is very stupid. What's an example of something you found Eespecially back then in like two thousand eight, like, I mean, I'm from LA. so like marijuana to me was like always legal, but I know they got like officially legal at some point. And so you guys had like marijuana cards, right? But people would put their weed in foil. and put that through the x ray. Then people would make Homemade panties. put money in foil, wrap it in and zip it in there and go through the walkthrough Like it'sal. That's a good idea. No, it's not. But you caught somebody with another someone with weed, right in one hundred percent. And you tell what happened because think it's I was surprised to learn where where where and how was. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it was my last day. I decided to quit and I was like, because Marlin Wayans came through and I was like, oh my God, you're my king. How do I like get back into the industry and he was like, you have to write do you write? And I was like, I write a text message. and he's like, No, you have to fucking take this shit seriously. So you know, I'm like twenty four and I'm like, o my God My W to me, I have to go after my dream. You know, like it's just that young, I love being ignorant and having audacity in your twenties. It's the fucking best, right? So it's like, I'm leaving. I'm going back to pursue my dream. So is my last day and then this woman walks in So to the untrained eye, we get a lot of heavy training at TSA to the untrained eye to all of you, she should just be walking. But I was like, this bitch is up to something, right? So when she was like walking and then she started to be a little too frazzled for me when I was like, hey, can you send her in for additional screening? Like if you don't have additional if you don't need additional screening, you'd be like, okay, cool, whatever. But sometimes people amp it up like, what Why me? Like what? I don't have anything. And it's like,, you do. So when they like brought her in, I had fucking terrible ass, fucking manager Moiss says, you'd love he would write you up for thirty seconds late like you just fucking asshole. So when she came in, I'm like, okay, this is a fucking test from headquarters. Moy says is fucking me on my last day. you fucking bitch. So when she comes in legally, I can graze your sensitive area. Right? I have the right to do that So as when I was like patting her down, I have a vagina. She has a vagina I felt something that I'm like, I don't think that's what should be in a vagina. vagina shouldn't feel that way. right? And at the TSA, when you feel something, you hold something, right? So I had the cup of her vagina, I said, manan, what is this? Right? And she was like, oh my God, I have a tampon. And I said, didn't you see it She was, I need to see it' blood. I said, there was blood on nine eleven, but I don't play by my job. Why do you think I'm here? I' give a damn. I need to see in there. That's right. That's right. Oh no. No, I was an officer of the law officer of the law was protecting the country of terrorists. Let me tell you something, John, the FBI have shit on me. amm I blue backag? Oh, baby, abbsolutely not So then she was like, okay, okay, okay, it's just someone I say, Well you lie to me, you're exhibiting terrorist activity. So go in this room, take your panties off right now. So I had another woman in there with me. I'd have another person, like another officer in there for additional screening. So she drops her panties and she's like pops out this Kodak camera case and has Steve Erkele on the front that says, did I do that with a little more than a dime sack of weed inside the camera case? I said, Do you know that weed is legal? She was like, yes, I said, you could have just had a card. L you didn't have to do this. So in my mind, I'm like Moisess is fucking with me, right? Again, this is a test from head of course. noobody could be this fucking stupid. So walk I'm like, haa, mooisess on my last day. Really gonna to fucking do that to me. He was like, ex, no, you've really caughtone because now I have to do six hours of fucking paperwork for this bitch. So and then she gets arrested. It's like, yeah, why did you do that? But like, yeah, because she hadn't like the dress she was wearing and this and andan. It's like, Yeahah, you think. And also like The pussy is far more powerful than that. Bch you could have a hefty bag of weed in that shit. You really waste up for this little shit And also like get it in there. L it was literally like, because the thing is it could be a dad there, could be a bbe. I would need to fuck and play with a pussy and detonate the bomb jn No't know what it's to help. You're trying to help. You're serving the country. Yeah. You're in uniform. Rpect people in uniform Yeah, you say vote save America, X saved America. Exah.. Hello All right, so yeah. So that was one of my stories at TSA. Well We do have a little surprise for you. She's here with us today She still got weed in her pist. My Lord. And we'll be right back.. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love or Leave it is brought to you by Thrive Market. Thrive Market takes the hassle out of grocery shopping. You can easily filter by your specific dietary needs or health goals to find the perfect alternatives for you. 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You can get coconut oil, pasta, peanut butter, If you're ready to do your own spring reset, join Thrive Market with our link at thrivemarket d. com slash loveve it for twenty dollars off your first three orders. pllus you'll get a free sixty dollars gift. Thrivemarket. com slash love it UNDeck is built to back small businesses like yours. Whether you're buying equipment, expanding your team or bridging cash flow gaps, OndDeck' loans up to four hundred thousand dollars make it happen fast. Rated A plus by the Better Business Bureau, and earning thousands of five star trrust pilot reviews, ONDeck delivers funding you can count on. Applying minutes at onndDeck dot com Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issu by ONDeck or Celtic Bank. ONDeck does not lend in North Dakota all loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Lots of places can expose you to identity theft. Oh no That's why Lifeelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone can do on their own If we find anything suspicious like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, we alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the Lifeelock app. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Save up to thirty percent your first year at lifeifelock dot com slash special offer. Terms apply And we're back now You're in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yes. You're in Disney pllus's Wonder Man.. What's it like being? I mean You know, you had been auditioning for years, you were giving up, you're becoming a TSA agent, then you're back at it. Now you're a part of the Marvel cinematic universe. You get to like go home and be like, I told you No, I think I never feel secure in this industry. I think I've been blessed to, you know consistently work and pay my own bills via living my dream since twenty eighteen. But you know we deal with the strike. And I'm in the WGA in the Sag. And I feel like I just don't feel I never feel like totally secure, this is it or that I've arrived There's so much that I want to do and there's so many personal projects that I want to do. So I did feel excited and extremely grateful because I was shooting in Los Angeles, the city that I'm from the city that I love so dearly. So that was amazing, but nothing in me once I did that felt like Oh I did it or like, you know, I've arrived, you know, it just felt like, okay, this is amazing, this is a blessing. There's more work to do. But like being part of Marvel, like, you must have like friendriends or family that are like, o my God,'s gotta be a nephew who thinks you're the shit. No, my baby brother, who is my everything and we're seventeen years apart. So I'm his like second mom and I'm his primary parent. That is the first time he's cared about anything that I've done. Likeve done I've done movies, I've done multiple TV shows, been blessed to do all of that As soon as I told him, I called him Papa. I was like, Papla, I got buooked to be at a Marvel show. He's like, Oh my God, what are you wearing? Do you have powers? Do you fly? Wh's it with? Is it Thor? I'm like, okay Listen, can you be happy for me U But yeah, he was so he was so excited. That's nice. Yeah yeah, yeah, it was great It was great. it was great working with Yaya, the whole team. I hope we get nominated for an Emy and not even me personally. I think Yaa did an amazing job. Desin and Andrew were phenomenal and serbving Kingsley. I mean, King. Thank. That's so cool. He's great. It's also so fun that like a character that was kind of like like that they can make something that they can like bring that kind of character back and have a whole different kind of world, you know. It's like so different from like, I don't know, like It is so different from likeor It's like a much more kind of LA kind of like Hollywood thing. It's so cool We're here in L.A. as we're approaching the fourth of July holiday. and so we thought it would be a great time to look back at American history, but only the history events I have personally takaking an interest in in a segment we're calling American History XMo And Wait Mark, you're not playing No, he's playing Oh, okay Wh who's playing? He's playing but we just thought American History XMI was a fun name. Yeah is. And even though it's evoking like a pretty dark film, and it's unrelated to the game, we thought like, well, we're not gonna leave a pun like this on the floor. No, you know what I mean? You leaveo p gott to pick that. gotta use it. I got toa use it. It's got a great curb check scene in it. Really? Mark, I hope you're okay with me touching you. I know black people we' very like like I you know? Yeah. ye, I'm so sorry. I did not ask for consent of time. I'm wanting a little more. Yeahah Sorry, Mike, we're very physical. you're so sweet. First up, question for you. Abraham Lincoln had a close male friend named Joshua Fry Speed. What did he and Josh share for four years in Springfield, Illinois? A sexual relationship. U that's not known Where would you have that relationship In a bedroom. That's right. in a bed. They shared a bed. Now, I was gonna say gym membership. The g, the gym membership Well, I mean, they think they were getting exercise. I mean, bed sharing was common But they it was more of a kind of a necessity thing. They showred to b even after Lincoln became a prominent lawyer who could afford his own home So that's interesting Yes. That's interest. Everything I know about him is from O'Mary. So Yeah, that's interesting. It does Yes, they exchange deeply affectionate love letters throughout their letters throughout their lives. But that's what everyone did So right back then, ye, everyveryone was gay All right, Mark. George Washington also had a gay friend, Baron Friedrich Wilhelmon Stuben who historians believe had a close possibly homo relationship with Prince Henry of Prussia. Baron von St Stuben's on the left. they have taken gayer shots than this, but man, these are some look at these. Look at these flaming homos. The wigs are great. Baron von Stuben was credited with forming Washington's men into a proper military force During the Revolutionary War, what was the name of Washington's arm? M Um they were called It's also a kind of breakfast at a hotel. The Contentalot. The Cinental Good. Yeah Next question, either of you can take it in April of eighteen sixty one, the Battle of Fort Sumpter raged for thirty four hours. The Confederacy firing over three thousand rounds to force a Union defeat and ignite the Civil War. How many people died at the Battle of Fort Sumpter? Zero That's correct. Oh Not one Good job. That's the only way that question becomes interesting. R. Yes. Yeah, you thought to the other side I went the other way with it. Yeah, there's I was on jeopardy. I lost I'm sorry Everybody got really sad. Right, Mark, you're about to. I was rid in the humor and I was like I'm going get the last little nip of the laugh and that laughs gonna fade right into John's next question and it just went silence. I know there was something I was with you because I was caught off guard by the silence, which is why I like wasn't was I was ready for what you were expecting We had a whole thing set up and you all let us down. In nineteen hundred meteorologists scoffed at the idea that a hurricane hit This city in Texas right before a cataclysmic storm, technically a cyclone caused the deadliest natural disaster in American history Plano Is not Plano Austin, Texas is not Austin, Texas. Dallas, Texas not down Galveston corct. Galveston. Galveston. did I not think Galveston's on the frreking border Yeah Yeah not Well it was a bigger c it was it was a bigger city. You don't think about it as much as but at the time boy, Galveston was hopping Galveston was going off and then they're like, we're nothing could go wrong for us here in Galveston What's the wind about? Forget it. Don't worry about it. Oh no. we're all dead. In the ninet Galveston was that off the chain in the nineteenth century. It was crushing it. Yeah. It was crushing it I don't really know how the story ends becausecause I'm only three quarters the two both I dont st literally, I'm reading a book about the nineteen hundred hurricane in Galveston. And right now the water is going up and they're like, this is weird. So that's literally. Literally while I was driving, I was listening on my way to the office and I got to the office and it was like, and then the water was hitting the bottoms of the horses, but everyone was still going about their day. That's not good I don't think it ends well for those people. No Not for that horse. In Los Angeles, there's a mile of Hollywood between Santaona and Fairfax and Hollywood and Libbrea, where everything is diagonal. Diagonal streets, diagonal buildings, and even diagonal swimming pools Why Why are there diagonal buildings in one square mile? Okay Diagonal is Slant Slant Yeah. Okay. I'm bad at math So they all go like this. Yeah, just on that one stretch because it's the epicenter of Los Angeles and everything was designed painting from the way out in and had some fucked up. Interesting doesn really makeakes sense. but I was th like painting himself in a corner or something like that. Yeah. Well, in a sense, it was because Oh that's shady. Who did that are a shady book? We gota know what? Rus The Russian judge is on the buzzer. That was good comedic time. It was good was well time It was a well t timeduzz It was because it was to accommodate the street cars turning around and the street cars can't make hard right turns. I'm from New Orleans. I should have known that shit. Yeah the city used to have an incredible network of streetcars, then we ripped them out of the ground. and now everyone's like, bro, drive it And you know what that sound means? It's time for the Coca Cola History Lightning round. Yes. They' not And they're not it sounds like they're a sponsor They're not a sponsor. They're not a sponsor. That sounds like a branded segment and God willing, one day it will be. What year was Di Coke introduced to the American public having its official premiere at a gala at Radio City Music Hall? nineteen twenty three False wrong. nineteen fifty six. later Night two thousand one. Later. two thousand five. Ely earlier than yours later than his two thousand eararlier. nineteen ninety nine. Earlier.een ninet Yes. nineteen eighty two. nineteeny two. The year of my birth. D Wait. Why so late? I don't know. It's awesome. That's Joe Mamth Joe Namis suucking on a Coke bottle. Die Coke bottle. and he loveving every second of it. What a dream. What a world it was before. You really love Co Cola. Love die Coke. Die C. What year did Coca Cola remove cocaine from the ingredient list amst growing concerns about addiction? twenty twenty one Earlier two? Much earlier. nineteen seventy one. Way earlier. nineteen nineteen. Very close. Yeahah, I'll give it you. nineteen oh three When was that invented? I don't have that information on the card, What a bummer to have been a huge fan of Coke, and then you buy it on the next day and you're like, this isn't working. What did they did these what did they do? You know I thought that was just like a dumb bit that like comedians said like and it's like such an easy joke, but there really was coke. There wasame. And finally, what was the name of the first pre Coca Cola tonic that the inventor, John St Timberton developed on his path to creating Coca Cola, and I'll give you a hint. It's Dr. Blank's compomound syrup of blank. Again, this man is not a doctor. Yes. It's impossible to guess So I'll say that' blank I want to I want to guess. Yeah. goo ahead. It's the doctor. it's the Doctor's blank compound syrup of blank Dctor Brown's compound syrup of brown. Good guess, good guess Mm. Dror Goods compomounds are a of zinc Wow, very close. It was doctor Tuggles Compound syrup of globe flour. Globe flour.n' that does sound. Don't you wantna like a nice ice cold glass of Dctor Tuggles Dctor Pepper, that sucks. I want doctor Tuggles. That ins Wonder Man, now I on Disney pllus Right?a, what are you doing? I I thought was on Coca Cola. The game's over. Oh, okay. Okay. I was like you tw? I'm sorry. He's plugging failed to track my smooth segue into I'm so sorry. I just looked you dead in the eyes and said, Wonder Man on Disney pllus That's how I did it. Yes, You Tamy show, moovie. right, Y Yay. Yeah, Microphone. Yeah Yeah And we'll be right back. Yeah we'll be back. My my God, Jhn I' sorry I like ansle. I't that's what you were doing. I'm so sor. It was a perfect moment. It was fantastic. It was fantastic. And if I'm doing something and you're not reading it, that's ' I'm a strange person. Okay. I bring a weird energy to this. This is not normal hosting. There's something quite off about how I run this operation. All right and And it's built up agree with you. Yeah.. No, I'm not sensitive about it. I'm not sensitive about it. You're sweet boy. We're gonna to use this. This is all in the show now. No, is eer went to commercial breaks. We're back I never coming back. It' my last time Ban. I' gonna be ban my name' gonna be out on that door.oy we're having good time. We're having a good time. Iember Yeah. Yeah.'re we're great. We good like you. Yeah, I like you. like. I mean you can't leave. We haven't even brought marijuana vagina woman out yet That is a great. We got name. We didn't make a giant cake for that woman to jump out of and not use it. And we're back. We're back. But we're already been back. What a wonderful time we've had. The producers of the show, on the other hand, have notes, which is why it's time for a segment we call second thoughtoughts. And here's how it works I have a list of reasons I should feel regret for how I've conducted myself during this very episode. And if you have anything you regret about tonight, you can share it now because we're just gonna deal with the things we've learned that maybe you know, we're not perfect. You don't have to be. and you don't have to be. Let's see. One thing I might regret is that I put the words enjoy kissing the devil in the French way, bitch And I had that that was a quote in my mind by founding father John Adams. But I don't regret that Oh, I did refer to bald eagles as fags. butast one is a group R? Right yeah though Whoa. No, you're right. No that's Yeah. at Hollywood Squares, I know too many facts. I mean it' like it's a group of pandas and they're like butch. It's like a thing. Yeah, no, for sure, and a group be prized No No. No, No. A group of right A group A group of crows is called a murder and a group of eagles is called a fag. Right No, that's dead ass. And we're back Oh my God I got too upset thinking about an imaginary spouse who works at Doctors withithout borders. And then I got pretty animated about invasion of the body snatchers and whether it's a good title. But I don't regret that. I think it's not a good title. They don't snatch the bodies. You inspired a short film, idea.. Yeah. Why would we regret that He now, do you have any regrets Um, yes. You wantna see Then, you don't even tell us what they are if we don't not. No, I do. It's about Mark Oh, what is it? So when I was upstairs talking to Mark I' I didn't know who he was. So I felt like so when we werere talking, I'm like, this is such a sweet, sweet white boy. I knew he was a comedian because you know comedians you get say you like,h, you're funny So like we're just talking everything like that and he's talking about things that he's done, everything like that. Soon as he walks down, I'm like B rooms. Oh my fucking God How did I I feel like such an idiot? I feel so bad. I regret that. like not clocking that and just like he and his brother they just, I know asperurgers are I'm just like, oh my God, like it all like hit me. And I felt so bad. And although he's like so humble and didn't need any of that, like I was literally talking to him normally asking about what he did but back rooms I feel like it's Such a brilliant movie. I have nothing to do with it. I'm not getting paid. This is not an ad. But that that little white boy, he know what the fuck he doing. He He got one. Back Roms was incredible. I saw an opening weekend. You're so like M I regret that.'m so I'm so sorry. I feel like you wouldn't even care like you're such a normal fucking person, which makes me love you even more, but it didn't hit me. So I regret that. Look, he's been seing the whole First of all, I have no ego about all that stuff. It's totally fine. But but I do I should say though that I Regret all the names that I called you in my head. You didn't realize who I was And I'm gonna just I'm gonna write them in your phone. And then you just we'll just we'll meet here next week.. We're gonna work it out And we're gonna work it out. Yeah, right. All right. I love you. No, no, Mark, he's great. No clap it up again for him. He's so humble and sweet. I mean you're like you're a legend. I feel like an idiot. And yeah, I regret that. The audience, we felt should have a second thought about failing to appreciate the Jeopardy thing And then I have a second thought for not following up with even a little bit about celebrity Jeopy. He said I was on celebrity Jeardy and I said, wow. And then moved on. You didn't say well. I didn't see it wow. You said nothing. I said nothing. I just I just wenth. I just sort of did give me your phone. I'm gonna put that shit in there too. And then he just got back to opening the hips. He just got there. Yeah. got got to work out. gott to open him mip. Hey, do you have any regrets Mark Dupas that I didn't sit like this. It's Comfortable, right? The whole show. It's nice. It's not comfortable. Re? Do you have your fasha woman's name for me? Be I need to work. Yes, Charlene. Yeah. She's in studio city. Okay. She's phenomenal. G to work you out. I need it because one other regret is I shouldn't show people my gait Your what? My gate, my strange walk, My strange, disconcerting way of moving through the world. I I sometimes feel like hard? Nah, I could be harder, but you know what I've noticed You know what I think? sometometimes I think, what if in the simulation The walk that I was assigned was accidentally taken from that part of the Scorsese movie that he filmed backwards and then ran it forwards. becausecause sometimes I think what if if you run the tape of me walking Oh yeah in reverse, it actually looks more normal. You know what I'm saying? L some walks You can only go up from where it is. Right. I think I think I think that's what I think that's what your walk is. Yeah.ive. Any regrets for you, Mark A, An regrets for me. Um Just coming here Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, Mrter Duplace. I had to burst that