Nude Photoshoot Plans and Final Thoughts

And welcome to another new episode of Lash with me, Joanna Page. and James Thornton. Hello! Hello! I'm quite surprised that we've come in here and everything is going smoothly because we have just literally this second had a sofa delivered. Yeah. And I'm quite surprised that I announced to you that I had bought us a new sofa for the kitchen and you made no comments whatsoever on if I'd measured it or what it was like. You've not even asked to look at it. And I said to you now just before we came in here, Oh my go, the sofa' coming this they're here, they're here, quick, come on. and it's arrived. It's in a box, so I think you've got to kind of like build it together a bit yourself. Yeah. And you've made absolutely no derogatory or negative comments about it, which I'm quite flabbergasted with really. I'm going with it I'm just going I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. I'm not going to get myself worked up. Yeah because normally you don't measure stuff. Things turn up I normally I will measure them with my pants So if I will go along the floor and I will do this with my hands and I'll measure it that way if I'm going to take measure and then I'll measure what I think that measurement will be then and if it can fit in and stuff. And sometimes I'll go by my body length because I'm five foot one and a half So I will go right okay and I will lie on the floor. And so Bigger, it's bigger than what we were thinking of. I've been saying to you for ages we don't need a sofa there. It's too big. Yeah. put a sofa there. Yeah. We just need the chair. In fact the chair we've already got is absolutely fine. been away from it I've have no input whatsoever in this. so' open that box and see you what's in it. Yeah. and we're having to record this now with the studio door open and the garage door open because I've got a little table arriving and also a pair of trainers. Yeah Yeah. So we've had half term, G to be honest, it was one of the best half terms ever had Because instead of going down to the caravan, we didn't go. We went't nowhere. We didn't actually leave the house We went nowhere and I said, I do not want to have to pack for four children to go down to the caravan I just don't want to move. I don't want to go anywhere. And so we didn and everybody was so, so tired And some mornings the kids were ha to lie in and I would come downstairs, I'd open like the patio doors and I would sit there And I get about a good thirty minutes reading a book with it just being peaceful and quiet? And it's like my body reset I felt like I really slowed down and I was really calm and I just felt like I reset and it was really, really nice I got you to put up the paddling pool and the tent. Yeah You had a tantrum when you threw up the tent, Well when you put the tent up, didn't you? What happened Um, Put it up where you told me to put it And this is a tent going up, so it's quite an involved. In fact, it's not that bad actually because it's got these inflatable bits in it, so it makes it a lot easier to put together. Butay It's bit of a mission But is it like a five man t? six man Yeah tent becausecauseuse we all get into it. So it's not like a two man small little Nippy up tender It's a big one And so, you know, so get it out of the garage, get it all out, make sure it's all there. the mice haven't eaten any holes in it. and it all works, get it all up. And I went, Thereah, look, what do you think? You came out and went I don't want it there It was massive. And I was like, well that's where you asked where you told me to put it. Yeah, it was just outside the kitchen door though wasn't it? So I did have a little bit of a I did have a bit of a sulk about having to I asked you to move it across to the other side of the garden. move it again. You weren't happy with. I wasn't you were right, though You were right because it did look better I ended up because something I didn't glat about it. Did I? I just said to you, listen, I wouldn't ask you to do such a big job of taking it down and putting it back up again on the other side of the garden if I didn't think it was the right thing to do And their kids and then the kids were just in it. But even through the day, they were using it like a den And we didn't see them. We didn't see them for a lot of halfim. They were like really just playing in there busy in themselves. falling out games. No, they took all their board games in, boke them into the kitchen and then walked out with a big pile of like memory and connect for And guess who and and then carried everything off All of their cuddlely toys went in. Yeah Cushion's pillow. C's pillows was mattresses. The whole lot went in there didn't hear from them for about a week They really interest. It was amazing. It buildild in and didn't there? Food went in there the whole thing. Yeah, food went in there and then the ants started coming in. Oh my Godd if we had ants in there. There were a few that had to remove all that rums and crisps and things that How has it been since we've had all of that rain? Oh well I've not looked in out. No, but it's sealed, the fingers crossed. Yeah. Everything's still in there, the blankets and stuff and the mattresses. Is the door you se the door zpped 'cause I unzipped it and left it open and then I didn't bother zipping it back up again. Beause the rain was mad, wasn't it? Oh my gosh. The L lastast few days stressed because it's going to be pretty full on at the weekend. No one's got a football tournament. Eva I've got a pack today for Eva to go and spend a week in France with the school kayaking and everything Yeah. And in the suitcase we've got to take a sleeping bag, a pillow bed sheets, two towels. I don't know how she's going to fit in any clothes. And then I've got a pack for myself because I'm going up to Glasgow on Monday for a week to go and film pointless. And then also we've got the last ever episode. we still haven't watched Taskmaster from last night. Yeah. And we've got the last ever episode now of this series of Taskmaster, which is going to be next week, but I'm going to be up in Glasgow. Yeah ye. So everything's going on I know. It's all quite stressed. So you were away for two nights this week. I was away for two nights this week because I've been filming my other podcast, Table for fourour. and I was in Hammersmith in London doing it. and it's been really exhausting because I'm doing it with Matt Horne, but because he's just got well everything's going on and with his family and everything, he's trying and he's got very young family he's trying to cram everything in a couple of days. And so it's quite intense and full on. so this time I decided that I was going to up sticks and move to Hammersmith and just stay there while we were recording it. Now Normally I would book a hotel And you know, I get somewhere nice and because I'm too old now to not just be going somewhere nice and I can have a bit of room service and sit in and have a rest. This time I thought, you know what? I'm going to go a bit wild. I'm going to stay in Hamersmith. I found a pub And it's like proper old man's pub and I thought I'm just going to buck a room above this pub. Which was a really good idea at the time. and then when it came to me going in that, I started getting a bit scared because I thought, well, I'm just in a room above a pub. When it closes up at night, nobody's going to be in the pub. So I mean, it's like staying above the quQeen Vic or something. How many rooms? how many rooms? eighteen and I was the eighteenth up five flights of stairs with a huge suitcase. I felt quite wild and abandoned because I got to Paddington and I had a huge suitcase because I'd have a load of different outfits for it. and I thought I can't be carrying this around London all day because I'd meet tint and everything. So I went to What I've always thought was just a place that sells ruck sacks, but it's not, it's luggage drop off in Paddington. I felt like a spy. Yeah, I felt like I was either having an affair. or I felt like I was a spy or that I was going or I was like James Bond, or I felt basically like I was up to no good That's what I felt like, I this wild thrill inside my stomach and a sense of abandon. L no one knows where I am. Nobody can find me. I'm just dropping my luggage off, you know I felt wild and abandoned. so I got to the luggagerop money drop off for some sort of heist, doesn't it Yeah And so so I went off, I thought, right I'm going to go and get a cab now and it was when the tube strikes were on. So I thought I'll get a cab now because the tube strikes. I honest to God, I've never seen anything like it In Paddington, the queue for the taxis just went all the way through like, you know, the queue for the taxis and then it went past there all the way down back into the station. I have never seen anything like it So then I thought I'm going to go and then walk into the middle of town. Yeah. But then I thought, right, let's go and see what tubes are up and Ran. Turns out the Bak Loo line was. And because nobody was down there, it was quite empty, had to wait for about ten minutes, got on the tube and it was really nice Yeah Be it was empty I felt like a student again because I ha't been on the tube now for ages. I'm never in London anymore. And I just, oh my god, it was like going back to being a student. I a student. Yeah. wentent into London, went and did my meetings and then thought, right, okay? I can head now to the pub. You know, o, I had to remember, first of all, though to go and putick my suitcase up And then I got to the pub and it was much more old mannish than it had looked like on the internet. So got there and it was a bit like, o my But what I liked was as soon as I went through the doors, a black cocker sppaniel came to greet me. So I was like, rightight, okay, I'm sorted here, this is alright. And then they took me around the corner and I checked in had to then climb five flights of stairs. It was like going into the queen Vict, going into the bit of the stairs and then keep going and going and going and going. I hadd stop on the last flight of stairs because I was just like, oh my go, this is hard. Went in and it was so sweet, it was tiny and it was really sweet. It smelt gorgeous And it was all really lovely and I just thought, allright, this is perfect. This is lovely I was hold up there for just two nights. I was contemplating last night going I'm exhausted, which I was, I'm just gonna stay for another night, but I did and o.ad I didn't. I' gly didn't. And a wit' end. Were you? Well not on a wit's. No I walk back into the house, I thought the room I've just been staying in above the pub smelt better than what this house smells like right now There wass a sense of grubbiness. General grubbiness of when I walked in through the house and I thought, o Godd, I' got a job in my hands here now. What's it being? Well I think I held it together quite well. Emotionally, physically or mentally.' the toughest. Well three actually. What's the toughest is getting him all up and out in the morning on time. In fact, getting him all to bed as well, getting him to go to sleep and then you then settle him bow whilst all the other ones are becausecause you're on your own trying to do it all and you got to pack all their bags for the next day, but yeah, getting them up in the morning on time stresses me out doing that on my own. Well, I have got a new thing now. you like this. When in one of the meetings I had for different, you know TV shows and all that this sort of business, right? Yeah. I met this most wonderful woman and we were chatting, She's got four children as well. They are a lot older than ours. And we were talking about the fact that I am still sleeping in bed with Bau She's four and a half now. She's massive. good God. I was sharing with her last night and she kicked me in the back. She's huge And she's you know, did she sleep well without me? Yeah, can I just put a little interjection in? Yeah. The previous the last night when you weren't there Yeah came in as well. So there was three I was in bed with Beo in her bed because she likes to have someone next to her. And then about two o'clock in the morning K Kit wanders in And he got in. So there's three of us in it's a small double in it There's three of us in there all scrammed in. It was really nice actually, but couldn't I couldn't really get I kept waking up because it was just too cramped. So in the end I crept out and I took my a special pillow with me because I've got one of those like foam memory foam pillows on know it it's really good books I like it's good actually. I like it. So carried that out and I went into our bed and then Kit just stayed in there with Bow and they didn't wake up either of them till the morning. So she was happy as long as she had some Well, I was talking to this wonderful woman and she was saying that I need to stop sleeping in bed with Beau now because she's four and she doesn't need me in bed with her anymore now. she does settle and she is good. And she said, you need now because I was saying how exhausting it is Well keepops passing in the night and it's difficult getting them all into bed because it just goes wild as soon as they get upstairs and sometimes it can be half past ten at night. And they still haven't gotone into bed and then by the time we get them into bed you and me are exhausted. you'll go down then, you'll tidy the kitchen Well I'm finishing off the settling and staff. And we won't sit down and spend any evenings together. And she said, what you need to do is you now need to go bump, right Okay, half past date, you're all in bed because she said you two really, really need to spend some time together. Yeah. You really do need to go, No, Mummy and daddy do need to spend an hour together each evening before we go to bed to watch something on Tairly, just have a conversation, just feel like ourselves and just feel that we're not just all all all for the kids So she said, my thing for you now is that you have to get those children in bed eight o'clock every night then the older ones can stay uper could stay up until about nine o'clock reading or whatever before the light gets turned off. The smaller ones like Noah and Kit, they can stay in their bed reading until half eightight and then the light gets switched off and then Bow's light can get switched off at about eight o'clock And then at eight o'clock, nobody comes out of their rooms. There's no running up and down the landing, no whatever. you are strict about it. Everybody is in their bedrooms eight o'clock at night and you do not come out again Mumy and daddy are going downstairs and we're going to sit down. We're either going to have a bit of food together or we're going to sit down and we're going to talk, we're going to sit on the sofa, watch an episode of something together. We' going to start introducing you and me time. And then she said to me, And then also she said I'm going to set you a challenge. Yeah because she set she said Her and her husband have sex every single night. And she said, I amm going to set you a challenge That from now on, so you said from Thursday, what are we on now? Is it Thursday or Friday today? What day is it today? Is it Friday?ah Right So Friday, well we were supposed to start last night, so it's not a good start. She said fromrom the minute you get home, you need to have sex every single night. So I was like, what? Every night I got my email then. then she said Oh, she said, o, then maybe not every single night, but you need to do something sexual Every single night. So I think she was intending on for the first week sex and then when you start getting like tired and you can't be asked and you're like, oh my go, something sexual every single night. So I went, right, go on then Let's go for it Every her kids are roed, everyvery single night they do w every single night. So I then spoke to Rebecca My agent Yeah and re chatted about it. And so she said that she's going to do it too So we are doing this experiment where we're going to be conferring with each other as well. and we're going to say right, okay, let's see if we can do this. Ething that says the bedtime and then the having sex. in the second conversation where I was talking about it with Rebecca That then went to something sexual, so that having sex sort of went straight away. but no we are gonna do it. We are gonna do it. We're gonna try. And then last night, when I got in and just before I went to bed, I think I was on the Loo or something and I was scrolling through the Daily Mail website and I saw I didn't read all of it because I don't read anything at all about myself or us but I saw that the Daily Mail website had, I think, picked up something from the podcast where I had said I was still sleeping in bed or something with Beu. Oh no. I had given some advice apparently about how to sex up your relationship And in an article I had said that now we've got all of the kids kind of in school We can have wild abandoned sex apparently, like every sometimes in the morning. So you've just got to try and fit it in whenever you can. So sometimes we'll drop them all off and then we'll be like, right quick, let's try and fit something in now. while we've got an opportunity. And so I was a bit like, oh gosh, that looks like we're quite exciting. And then I carried on reading a little bit more and it said because Paage has said previously that there have been periods in her relationship that she's considered shit a bit rubbish and then she still sleeps in a separate bed to her husband in the nursery with her child So that me It say all that in the podcast? I think I did No I think it was in an interview. and so I think I did say yet now that we've got them all in school, it's a good opportunity for you to just grab moments. I think I was being asked my advice on, you know, what spiceices up a relationship, How do to keep it still, you know good with Janes And I think I said now that you know, we're dropping them all off, you've just got to grab opportunities whenever you can. to just do it now.ight come on, let's do it now. Go S off theax pod. But weve gott to listen because I don't want to miss the delivery with my trainers, o? And a table.s some trainers as well, are there? Trainers and a table are arriving, so we can't miss that Right. So that is the new experiment. That's Is she like a sex therapist?? No, she's not. She's just she's just sexual Yes. But her kids, she's got four but they are a lot older than ours. But no, but it was true. She said, No, you do need to prioritize yourself and you do need to be you too, aside from mum and dad, not you know, spending a load of time with each other, but kind of going, no kids, you do need to be in bed eight o'clock at night because we are exhausted. get into bed Read for a bit eight o'clock at night, you're not coming out again now, go to bed and even if it's not, you know doing something sexual. because sometimes I would rather just sit down and let's watch an episode of the diplomat. There's loads of stuff I'm now watching. We need to watch rivals together. And also what have I start? Oh, I've just started watching the second series of Beef And you'll enjoy that. Oh ye Our challenge is Are we going to manage to do it every night? I can already say no, but we'll try. Drew I tried to do right when you were away for two nights I tried when we get back because we get back from school quite late because some of them are there, you know, if K's got his orchestra that he does. So he does that until six Yeah. When that happens, it means you're not back in the house until half six And then you've got you know food and. It pushes you right back the it. What I was trying to do is bypass the living room in the kitchen. and I was going, right everybody, just go straight upstairs and stick your pajamas on straight away. because I spoke to parents who do this They advised me to do it. Wh have you spoken to? was a normally speaking Ye ago, someone said, you know what I do? Was this years ago? Oh yeah, yeah it was a long time ago. it something you just read on the internet? No, it was when you've got more friends. It was when we had three and we had three and when they were all really quite small. Yeah And she was like, No just by get them all straight up thenen you you miss out that period. you know that second wind. So them You have them in the living room, the kitchen. They're all a bit snoozing, all chilling out, a a bit tired, you're like, oh yeah, great,ll go up to bed. Let's get everyone up to bed now jjamas on let's get settled. everyone up a nice early night. And then as soon as they go up the stairs they just flipping take off, they got all this energy Yeah And then it' running around like wild things. Well the woman playing football. I mean, Bu was this little football and she was playing football with Noah across the landing No, please, look just. 'cause you've got no control over them The woman I was talking to as well, she said that say Eva comes in and we pick her up and she gets into the house at half five, just give her a bit of a snack until we've got the boys in at half six and then we all sit down for the big meal. But I don't know if we can do that because I think it's actually easier to for me to give Ea her big meal at half five and then's like right upstairs pajamas on chill out time and then get the boys in and then do our big meal with them and get them straight upstairs then. I think they need to bypass sitting on the sofa after they've eaten and down and have a chill out and go ride upstairs now Pajamass on, chill out upstairs, I'm a little chat, I'm a little whatever and then bed. Yeah, and they sort of do their wind down a bit upstairs. Let's It's that hard doing it because they do need they need to chill out. Well they can chill out stairs. But yeah, it's that the two stages getting from downstairs to upstairs. It's just like it just sets you back another hour. Yeah And then it looks like wrestling with frogs. They're like there's four of them running. I was there on my own last couple of nights One of them's kit's in his bedroom, great well he' in my bed, our bed. He's in there And he's ctling That's all right he's done, right? That's great. He's reading It' brillant. Noah's in there. he's listening to an audio book. Ev's reading and then one of them pops a kill pops out and you get him back in and another one pops out. It's like that, you know that arcade thing where you've got a whack a mole. That' that tryrying to get him to L last night in there It was in a med with Beaow and I was reading to her and then all of a sudden her attention goes and she's like, what? ' I was poking his head around the corner Yeah, winding her up. Yeah. Yeah. No, we just No, we got to be strict. And I'm trying to settle bea and read our stories. And then us running around starting here. Well we got restict. How do you feel about it? Do you think that I think it's a great idea to be seexual every night N not good now, wait tntil you see me next week S me ass No more secks. So that's our challenge. I was like, rightight, come on then. And also aside from that, just know that everything that we do is going to be fed back to Rebecca, but also fed back to the podcast. because we need to get a better story in the daily Mail on the dailyail I was just thinking that this is going to be in the Daily Mail we need to get a better story because at the moment it just says that I've said our relationship is sometimes being shit and I'm still sleeping in a separate bedroom. Whatever you do, don't read the comments. We need my God, no. So we need to get something better on there than that. Yeah He, were you using the air fryer? Because I finally got it out. Over half term, I got the air fryer out. My dad got it out because they came up to see us and my dad said, this is ridiculous and it's been about nine months, it's still in the box I'm getting the air fryer out, I'm gonna to show you how to use it. He got it out. Turns out it's exactly the same one as my parents So he just he just knew how to use it. This button, that button, whatever. I mean, it it couldn't have been easier. It's like a revelation. And then that was it. I was on fire. I've done fish, I've done chicken, I've done sausages. Did you ever s you didn't have the sausages? scam. I've done scam. I've done onion rings, I've done chips Oh my God. mages Radabll And then aside from that then, because I was calming down, I kind of got my love of cooking back And I did proper chocolate muffins then, which the kids decorated. Oh my go, it felt really good. I love that a. Did you do any chocolate muffins in that? No, I did them I did the chocolate muffins in thevent. I probably could have done them in the air fright, but I've not gone that far yet. I haven't touched a button on the air fry yet ven't I need you to tell me what's going on. Once you know what you're doing, you will love it. You will love it. I was sleeping out in the tent when I with everyone. You were And I really enjoyed it. Did you? I didn't think I'd get much sleep, but actually I think I slept better out there And I've been doing in the house because it's been well, it was really hot, wasn't it Over that week, it was red hot a heat wave, wasn't it? And so it gets nice and cool in the evening out in the tent. It gets hot in the morning, mind. and I slept quite well in there I took a mattress topper, put that down there on top of one of those you know, a camping mat. Yeah put that down, put the topper on top of that and then a sleeping bag, quite a thick sleeping bag and then Duve on top of that I kept addding stuff every night so I get a bit thicker so I wasn't hur in my back. And I had a nice sort of ly in in there. Well when you were coming in in the morning, you looked like your head had swelled. It was swollen. Yeah. you look like you. you looked like Lola when she's just woken up from a really deep sleep and she looks at you like that and that's what you look like You look very well rested. Yeah. You'd had a really good rest. your head was slightly swollen and it look quite hot, but it looked That's the heat in the morning. But I wake up and then it's so warm. and then I think the heat just send you back off to sleep again. Because your parents were there What was that have a bit more sleep. Just before we go, I have come up with a new thing for my fifty thingsings to do before turning fifty. Oh. I'm gonna have nuded photos done again. Oh yeah. Yes. because when I was I said this in my book, Ohh my god, my paperback is out at the moment So you can get that online and in all good book shops and whatever. But in my book, right, I had talked about the fact that when I was twenty nine, I went to this most wonderful woman that I'd met in Yoga and she photographed Pregant women, heavily pregnant women like lying against trees or lying on the grass outside in fields or surrounded by rose petals. So you're they're in nature naked and your beautiful you know, big pregnant bearey showing. And I asked her if she would take nude photos, completely nude photos of me, not sexy ones, you know, just like really artistic nice photos of me, completely nude at the age of twenty nine before I turned the grand old age of thirty Where in my mind then I class that as well, then you are Rald. And whilst my body is still, you know young and twenty nine, I want to remember that before I hit thirty and it all goes downhill I mean, my Godd, if I could be thirty again now, can you imagine? thirty's not old. I yout I' think so differently about it you know. So when I was twenty nine I got these photos done and I got two of them framed And James knew nothing at all about it And I wrapped them upap for him And they were like full or naked. wraped them up for him. and for his birthday, I remember being in E Star Eedge and handing you one of them in well handing both of them to you. And you were like, Ohh God, what's this? And you unwrap the paper And my good God, you were in shock. You didn't say anything at first and then you were like, Who took these? Oh my Godd, who took took these Photos of you. Who have you've been naked? Oh my god, what is this? Anden I was like, calm down. It's just me naked. And I got a woman to take photos of me. And they're not one of them. It's quite Helm Newton And quite full on, straight, direct. and then the other one I'm just lying in Rse petals. And o well, you just completely freaked out, didn't you? And I was like, Ive just had some nude photos done to go, o my God, this is me in my prime at twenty nine. calm down And then we put them up in the attic. Well I was thinking at the time we can't exactly put them on. Well, they could done so they've been in the are People come in I have guests or, you know friends round. There's a picture of you naked on the wall. So we never put them up right. but the other day the boys were up in the attic. We put them up in theic. Y they were helping me move boxes. B big now, wouldn't they? so they could now start helping with stuff and Kitch just suddenly went Oh my god, mummy, what's this And if there's nothing sexual in them or anything, it's just like, you know, so they're fine. K it was like, o my utter hysteric. Well they're wrapped in bubble wraps. You can't actually see. And I went out darling pull back I went, darling, that's when Mummy decided to have nude photos taken when I was twenty nine. And so the boys were in utter hysterics. They'd all seen them and everything. They just thought it was hilarious. Well anyway, they're still up in the attic and I'm gonna to bring them down when I'm about ninety and shove them above the fireplace then when I'm ninety I'm not gonna care letess me then But I thought I might go back to her now. I did it at twenty nine. I might go back and do it again at forty nine and go here we go. This is me now in my prime. fourour kids, scars all over me. Would you do the same pose so you can compare the two or would you do different I don't know. I might not think about doing the same pose. I might just go and see whatever I felt like doing when when I was standing there being photographed. And ye I might do that. so I might get Nude photos done of myself again at the age of forty nine Yeah in my glorious woman hood now to see what what in the space of twenty years. Yeah what's happened to my body Yeah How do you feel about that? Fine Yeah. Do what you want. We do it. It's good to be adventurous,n't it? This podcast has been quite adventurous for staying above a pub. You suddly know I'm going to get I was I was envious of you doing that to be honest. I know you were working really hard on Yeah you had a lot of stuff research to do as't Well right, come on, we need to get going because we've got a lot to put into practice. We need to to change what do they say change the narrative. We need to change the narrative on the Daily Mail website so that it doesn't look like we've got a ship marriage. And it looks like you know we're a bit more wild and abandoned. And we got to start on it now because I'm hungry. I've got shoes and I've got a table to get delivered. And also I will be packing Eva's suitcase tonight because she's going on the plane now and we got to get it to the school at three o'clock in the morning. I don't think we're going to be able to put the sex into practice tonight We we got to get stuff done. I'm starving and I need some food as well. now sudden we just got to get st somethingro off two o'clock. I would get up at two o'clock to say, well, I'll get up as well, two o'clock to say to work, get your clothes on, start getting ready, d're up and everything. You need to build a sofa And if you build a sofa, maybe You can have some sex. Okay, thank you very much on the sofa. Not the new one because it's new. N the new one. No. Okay. We will let you know how this trial gets on if we manage to last a week, how it's going, and also how the new sofa is. No one's allowed to sit on it, let alone have sex on it, at least for a week. okay So, you know, bear that in mind. We'll see you next week. Bye B