Middle Aged Dad Jam Band

Your summer weekends fill up fast, but Crocs has your back. Road trips, beach days, last minute getaways, whatever's on the agenda, swing by your local store and find your new goat too Try it, style it, make it yours. becausecause the right pair doesn't just show up It shows off Wock out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croux store today Put your name on P your name. That's all. Be a man. or a woman. putut your name on it That's like a real thing in the NBA. S guys get like Chinese shoe deals and it messes up their legs in their careers. like remember Lonzo Ball Yeah. Yeah, he had H they made their own shoes, big baller brands and he's just little by little. like that's a lot of wear and tearan. Yeah. Well, I'm not in, you know, I don't know if you know this. I don't play in the NBA. You don't? I don't Anymore. I got to say that. Oh, not at all. Oh man Yeah. Y hair is Baldwin esk, great You have incredible hair. I thought we were doing this at four And I'm walking the dogs to the dog roomor and Kyle's coming out of Starbucks and Kyle lives in like fucking Panorama city somewhere. And I'm like, what are you doing here? He's like we got Kemarino I'm like at four. He goes at ten. I was like So that's why I haveweedyir. Youother hair looks great. Oh, and I don't wantan to wear a hat to cover up my Botox. I just got Botox, Joe. Let see You can't tell. you still say like back it. exactly. But anyt time I can support, check on your teammates. Hey suubbscribe to Substack, please people. Kenneth, Joseph Mar We're on. We're going. buddy, this is it This is it. We started We can Chop it however you want it. How about this? Ladies and gentlemen, more stories. For the second time returning champion of the story world, Ken Joseph Marino Right time. It was a long time ago. That was in the garage in the palises when you were doing burning loveo. Oh yeah, yeah. with wonderful Natasha Leero. got it. get the fuck back in here too. Yeah, she's great. I did funny, you should ask whether we sat next to each other and made fun of the contestants Yeah, she's fantastic. Do you ever do like those Hollywood squares or like passwords type deals? You'd be great at it. Sometimes I went on, no, I don't think I would. But thank you. I appreciate that. I went on Family Fud with celebrity Family Fud Only because I got this email and they' like they would like you to celebrity F feud against The Osms And I was like Really? All right. And then my mother in law is a huge Donnie Osmond fan. Yeah. And so I called up my mother in law and I was like, I'll do celebrity Family feud if you Do it with me. And she's like, No, no I can't. And my wife, of course talked her into it. And then I went on with all my in laws. You're married to Christy Yamaguchi. Noope, Erica Oyama. Era. That's what wrote Look, that's what I wrote with them. Yeah. Erica Oyama. So Japanese I would say that's a microgression I don't have any ecquation in be an Aacra. Is her her mom's Japanese? Her dad is. And her mom is from Alabama. Oh, really? Yeah. That's you don't see that a lot. I saw once at It's usually the review.. Yeah. I saw at LAX once. Like a sister. I mean, like swing in the arms sisa with like a Japanese guy. It blew my mind They got black an African American woman, dude. we got we got settled back. st I mean my name's on it and I'm okay. I know, but it just makes me uncomfortable. Why? I'm just telling you what I saw. I know, but you don't see a lot of black women with Japanese men. I see. But you already opened the door, so maybe it check yourself Camarino. you said it's usually reversed You see a lot of black men with Japanese Let's change the subject What's happening here? R out of the gate. Right out of the gate. What? I saw you at the Laker game. That was fun. I was so happy to learn you were going to be on season two of Running Point. and then little did I know, you were gonna be one of the two people, Ray Romano being the other one that blew my mind, melted my face, completely stole the show. Really? The toilet king of Orange County A Barange coun. But he's he's a billionaire. somehow he's Yeah, Well, there's a lot of, you know, everybody shits He was, did you base that on anybody U, you know, it's what's interesting is and I think Justin brought this up. I my this is the second time I've played a essentially a toilet king on a TV show in a movie. First one I wrote for myself in the movie Wander Lust Um whereere I was Paul Rudd's brother and I owned a big Portter Potty you know empire in Atlanta. and then and then this happened. it's all based on my dad was my dad was a cesspool cleaner on Long Island. Re He had a p truck and I would work with him so Uh, you know, he would have like, you know, we would draw he let me draw little little bees on his pump truck because he lik because bees always flew around shit So he would have these like he loved honeybees. and I paint when I was a kid, I painted honeybees on his pump truck And, you know, he would always say like, you know, your shit is my bread and butter you know, we're number one in the number two business. That kind of thing. I think you said number one of the number two business on the show? Yeah, I try to throw that in every time I play a guy who, you know, is a toilet king. There's a guy that's So every movie I do where I'm a toilet king. Rumor has it, it's based on someone Do you are you But John Ireland on Mason in Ireland, one of my favorite radio shows, they wouldn't give it up, but he said it was based on because. okay, because Steve Mason asked if it was based on Jacob Elroni and Ronnie, but like I don't know who that is, but he's called Jacob. He's like that lawyer guy that's always on the radio and Oh, I don't know. All nes the Lakers, but they couldn't possibly be because he's not annoying. No Well you think character is annoying? No, you didn't let me finish. go ahead fin. He's not annoying a lot like how the tooilet King is annoying W without the toilet King, we'd all be pooping and, you know, drum port toot. Yeah. We'd be back in the Medieval, medieval Tes. So you don't know if it was based on anybody Not that I'm aware of. Take I do a day at this working sess. What would you call that? waste management? Wte management. Yeah, sure. What So your dads just fascinates me. Yeah dad's job would be to go pick up shit and take it somewhere else Yeah, essentially. So on Long Island, there are septic tanks, right? And I grew up on Long Island And septic tanks are just these big holes in your backyard or your front yard with a concrete slab on top. And people would, you know,, when they fill up U they would call my father And he would bring a pump truck And he would take a gigantic hose and connect them all together pick up the lid and then pump all the shit out And it had a certain smell to it, which is nostalgic for me now. And then he also kind of started them doing porta potties, which I would then deliver to, you know, my high school days, I would help him and I would deliver to and drag them into parties and then take them from parties and clean them out, which you know that smell, that minty shit smell that that the combination of the the mints that are in the urinal and the You know Yeah It's not like a straight, it's not like how you think of shit smelling, but it is a very distinct very distinct It almost feels like you'd be better with just the shit. Yeah. I mean, look, it it's a preference. It's sort of like do you like coffee straight up or do you like it with cream and sugar? And so we so we so I would so I would, you know, to make money, I would go work with him during when I was in high school. And one of the things that was really interesting is So when you pump the septic tank, at the bottom, it starts to get it solidify and it won't drain into the earth, right That's why it fills up. So you have to pour sulfuric acid in there. I' going say you had to go break it up by hand. while you're breaking it up. No, you're breaking it up with sulfuric acid. If you don't have like a big hoe. I think he might have done stuff like that as well. but but he would, you know, so there these like fifteen gallon things that were twenty five gallon things of sulfuric acid that you there would be in the truck and then he would be like, put on the gloves. All right, takeake the sulfuric acid to the back and I would As a sixteen year old kid be carrying Sulfuric acid into you know that's like what Putin throws in a guy's journalist's face to like I just pos whatatifa put in the reflecting pool. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah and chosen it. And so then has a mifa So So I would pour it into and then you'd have to pour it in andd be like, if it splashes in your eyes, just make sure there's a hose somewhere. You can rinse your eyes out fast because that melt your face. like is it sulfuric's just sulfuric acid. Yeah It's acid. Yeah. it'll burn you a real bad. U And so you would pour it in and then like kind of it would smoke up and have another you know smell that was really unsettling, but to me, nostalgic U and that's what I would do. I would I would work with my dad on, you know, any days I head off and I would make a little pizza money. Is your dad still alive? He is, yeah. What's his name? Richard And mom her name is Diane. She's still alive as well Little diddy. about Jack Richard D. Hey, did, you know, a lot of people didn't know like a second on Chili dog, Chili Dg is a drink I did not know that either. Yeah. It's a different name for slush puppy How you know that Joe?'re, you're a long island, you, you're what are you Yester? Well this was ant long island There's there's no flush puppies. Yeah ye. I got to tell you, when John Couger came out, ameanger. Wait, he came out, he's gay. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he went back to the cougar.ure. a boy You put that away. I'm a little you got married in twenty twenty five Is that correct Yet last year? When did you get married I've been married for twenty years two thousand five? I believe your Wikipedia page. That's why I went in Don't believe that shit. Well, says I'm five nine in a What would you like it Oh, two thousand five. I got a new contact line, Ken. Oh how is it I like it. I have a monovision lens where you just have one in? Yeah How's your other eye feel about that? The other eye, I'm far sighted. so you put a reader I love that comy. What? I love that comic. Sorry. Those cows always talking to each other. You put a reader in my left eye and it's great for reading, but you look like you're in a swimming pool kind of underwater Maybe I am After I got married in twenty five, I was going to go all in on marriage questions because I love being married Like, well, you could still go, I've been married for twenty years. you likes to do can go in on marriage questions. No, I'm staying with it. I'm just embarrassed that I read two thousand. Youre in a sae place. E embarrassed is a strong I'm gonna go back to the saucy sassy black woman with the No No, we're not. We're not. You met your wife on Burning Love and that do you guys ever whichich came out last year in twenty twenty five? Oh shit Jay, do you guys still ever work together? We're tryrying, but I can't see ' it's all collecting behind that one contact Do you guys still work together or is there like a separation of church and state U No, we work together. We u That was the best experience of, I think my professional life. I've worked on a lot of things and a lot of things that I'm really proud of. Burning love The end result of it became, I think it's super funny. I think people really respond to it. I had a great time doing it and getting to do with Erica. was you know, really special, and I felt like we worked well together I feel like the only Jeennie and I have totally different ways to work. She's very like maps out might happen in the next six days or six months or six years. Yeah. And I'm just like, ye I don't know. And I've learned that the words I don't know makes my wife fucking insane ' she's like, I'mking with Fucking Chad from SNL And I'm like, you know some people have always thought that would be an incredible asset that I have that that I don't stress out over things I can't control. I've learned. She'll ask me like, what time is Teresa's flight? And I go, Let me check it's because I'm about to say, I don't know. I don't know Well, I think I think my relationship with my wife is similar She's very organized. Yeah. She's on top of it And I'm, you know, from the hip Yeah. Is that was that is that shoot from the hip? Yeah shoot from the hip. Wh by night Is that was it? Fly by night. No, that seems like that's kind of a negative thing. Fly by night operation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that mean Can we look that up, fly by night? Flying without being well see Fly by night is like not organized. likeike he's justs cararnivalals like going from town town at night and setting up during early in the morning. O Yeah, that not the origin of. He's to figure out it Mike. Some podcasts I'm on they werere on top of it. No, not here. Not here. is he going to find it by you know fantasy football? He plays fantasy fantasy it Ohar. Fly by Night describes a person, business or organization that is unreliable, untrustworthy, or disishonestable. What's the origin? Yeah Oh, the origin. Yeah. I'll be right now. And then when you find out, then can you find out from the hip Because that one fly by n sounds has negative connotations, right This fly bite makes And why are why is Mickey Mouse a negative connotation like this Mickey Mouse organization? Wh why is that? Mickey Mouse like the best run thing in the world. Very organized. Yeah. origin of. All right. we're loading you up with you never go to welcome to the Origin podcast. Welcome welcome to Origins. You never come home from Disneyland and go like, Jesus Christ, they need to get their shit together Mickey Mouse Yeah. Mickey Mouse organization They got it down Pretty good. All right, here we go. look how he's so smug The origin of Fly By Night is from seventeen ninety three Germany Wit from Germ It it's a German English translation, a woman suggesting that she is a witch, an old expression of reproach or insult for an old woman, which means a woman who is accused of wandering around at night You know, when you're something great is mike's not on. tell him we can is a We' telling the Jh. giveiv it a little red mic M it B special. Look at the muted red mic We have we have the I we're going to talk about Gail Dughy in the Gail Dughty Daughterry when celebrity sex pass Yeah. Oh great. Thats a lot of questions I'm looking forward to them, putut them in some sort of order of importance. and let's start with What's more important than you down to the tenth question. What's more important than you promoting this great show G Bill Daughty in the celebrityx celebrity sex pass. Who is your celebrity sex pass? I don't believe in that shit. That's crazy. I don't belie in it either. but if you have to come up with somebody, I'm going to say the rock No, I would say Miss Piggy I got to think she would turn you. Yeah. Hi ye. Hi. She would turn you inside out, bro. Yeah, right? Miss Piggy, wild Now I can't say my answer is gonna seem like a fucking' pervert. Who's yours? It's a human? Kermit Gross. Fozzy bear. S,ays a human, gross. hum? Halsey's always made me feel kind of funny What's that? Palsy Is that? Uh, singer? I wish you sing. I she's a singer, but you just for you, it's the visual. Yes You know, music doesn't turn you on. It's the real recognized realel. I see her and I'm like Mh. Okaykay. Whd do see You're a laker game,. you' hip to the you're hip to the times Not really, I can't have a single Halalsy song. And I'm, But you know who she is? Well, yeah, she's super famous. Okay, but I don't know because I'm not hip to the top. No one's arging you. you're okay No one here is arguing with you I' for the time. How old are you? I am fifty seven. fifty seven? You look great like that. because you look amazing. A a gray hair on his head. You look great. if you go in there, you could find him. Did you get both dogs? I did not Face falls asleep a little. Do you feel it? It hurts like shit when they put the needle in your head. Yeah And then a week, it's just kind of like wax melting. like all of a sudden, this gets like, I could feel it with my fingers like this. I could feel my skin But when you wiggle around, it just feels like your head fell asleep. But do you But do you feel do you see a difference because I had huge Eleven I got a gigantic crease in my forehead that I've always really do All right It's but it's it's character Bill. It's like it's Part of What look When I was in I had it so deep. even in high school, I would take a credit card. It was like be a little trick. and I put a credit card in there and I'd go like that, and I'd hold it in there I remember I was walking in Manhattan I was at an ATM and the guy in line behind me goes, You know, you shouldn't do that with your face. You're going to wish you hadn't when you got older, my age I was like eight, nineteen, twenty years old. Yeah, remember that I remember older people saying that to me when I was younger and I'm like, justust leave me alone, let me live my life. Enjoy your cigarette, fuck please Right By the way, nobody smokes anymore. When you see people smoking, it's almost like spotting an endangered species. you're like, Is't that crazy? Can you still do that? I saw somebody smoking in their car the other day, window closed. I was like, this' the savagest thing I've seen in. you ever pare smoke in the car when you were a kid? Yeah, my dad no. I guess when I was very young, my dad smoked. he smoked like three packs a day. And then brand. What's that Marborl arbor, Marborough Red think yeah. Yeah Because then I did a movie a real man Richard. I did a movie because before he was a before he was a Ccessible cleaner He was a clam diger Among fascinated with this guy and he Mike wrote. And so I wrote a movie called I wrote a movie called Diggers about clam diggers on Long Island in a dying community because the movie because in the seventies Everybody was clam diging to make money And then it sort of depleted the bay floor floor of the bay Eeroded. Yeah. Yeah but also big companies came in and kind of took up a lot of that land and then there was a some pollution. So, you know, this this perfect storm of like just killing all like the clams and that whole business. So now there's like maybe Less than a hundred clam digers onong Island or something. I hass less than a hundred clams, but it used to But it used to it used to be back in the mid seventies they say You could go out on clam boats and walk from one boat to the next. There were so many guys out there That's kind of cool. Yeah. I like a life at se. And he would and he would always smoke, you know, he would smoke his marbs and be digging clams. and I remember going out when I was really young going out with him and doing that. And that was fun. Are you happy in the ocean Yeah. I mean like the water. I love it. Yeah. Well, you're right here, right? Well, this is the farthest I've lived from it in probably twenty years. So I was in the Palisades on El Medio on the blluffs. It was right there. Yeah And then in Alalibu for four years on the bro. like high tide windows get sprayed because it hits the sea For something just veryer calming and therapeutic and wonderful about it. Anytime I go Uh to you know, like Marina deel Rey or the Venice or, you know, whatever it Santa Monica And I feel that ocean. It's just, I'm like, why am I not here all the time? I miss it every day. Why are you not here all the time Money, money, money money! Money 'cause he loves the OJs I'm going to tell my son to put on the air conditioner U giveive me, gentlemen. talk Joe ask? No, I think that's great en I'm hu fan of Party Down. Oh, thank you. What do you think about? Thank you. Party Down Thank you so much. You want to sw seats here What do you think it' got a party down here? Has such things? Tell you son, tell you son to turn up AC. Ever since I' a Christy I'm Gucushci, I've been sweating. Go ahead. I was in my head for him I feel like Party Down has such staying power. And what do you think it this about that show where you guys were able to bring it back U you know, I mean, I had nothing to do with bringing it back, but I, you know,s just a really funny show and and and it just It stayed funny. It wasn't like, it didn't feel dated too much, you know? Um, Funny is funny and then they brought it back and because You know, I think Adam's star Rising kind of helped that and they brought it back and we got to do another season. And I thought John M Baum who created the show and wrote the show created another incredible se likeike twelve years later, it just felt like it just slip right back into. It never happens. I know it's I'm. Hi. Hi, How are you Good to see you, Jake. Hey, did you get hold of your son? text him. He's upstairs. He's lazy secondack shit like me. Texting'll see you. He's like I have to get up and and Press that button. The other day you put dishes Don't put dishes in the sink is one of my things. like the dishwasher's right there, right? So it puts dishes in the sink and I go, Ohh my God, you got so close to the dishwasher. Good job, buddy. Silar thing with my kids. Yeah. I'm sorry, did you finish your thought? The next day he puts them in the sink closer to the dishwasher. he's funny. Well progress, baby steps My kids They're dirty dishes next to the sink And I'm like, guys, just put it in the sink. it's right there. The sink's right there. As you can ever put like a plate in a sink with half of a fucking sandwich on it? Yeah. I mean, in the dishwasher, it's got like like a quarter of a lasagna and fucking everything. like guys. The concept of being like, hey, rinse it off before you put it in the dishwasher doesn't seem to make any sense. They're like the dishwasher.m like You gott to help it out. You can't process like a friend, like support it. Yeah, yeah, I can't process.andw fucking full pict. This is gonna be like what the hell's happening. So my oldest graduated college and he's been here this week There's just shoes everywhere takes firstirst of all he says aunt instead of aunt. Wait wait, wait, go back go back. I'm still thinking about the sandwich in the. Full pickle got me. The oldeston graduated college. So your oldest son graduate. How many sons do you have? I have two boys. Okay twentyw three and fifteen. differentiffnt moms because I like the All right, that looks fine. And Yeah, yeah, yeah. know it's process that. We're watching that in real time. And so I'm just he's he, I don't know where he picked this up, but when he comes in the door, the shoes are immediately off It's just fine Is that That's all right. Right, But they're off where he was standing. They't get put to the side. Right, rightight. No, shoes are all over my house. Yeah, yeah. We will pray before bed My sons and I and but my youngest will turn his bedroom light off. So I gota like I trip over his shoes in the dark And then I'm like, Jesus Christ with this. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for this family time. Wait a second, did you say you will pray before bed Was that it I didn't know I don't know if that was a joke.id you pray that you're gonna not trip over the shoes? or you Or do you pray? not a joke? or you flip it O do you pray before we pray as a habit Okay didn in the morning and night That's great when you it's part of my routine to keep me sober All right How long have you been sober? Five years, two and a half months. Congratulations. Thank you. It's like getting congratulated for running out of a burning building that you lit on fire. Well, listen. But you're such an ego maniac, you're like, I know, right? I ran out of it. You' holding a gas can, put it over your other like, I put it out. Aren't I cool? Is this great that I've done this Hey listen, thank God, I was here You don't pray What's that? You know, prayer I mean, no These are card carrying atheas, this one. Yeah You said to me the other day? So let's say Jesus was Who cares? Who cares? he says. Yeah I love that you just stick to your guns. I'm not here to recruit anybody. Yeah. Whereas people saying nowadays, I'm not here to recruit nobody. Yeahah. I don't double negatives these days. Yeah ye no, I like dou negatives. Yeahah. one hundred percent. hundred percent. one hundred ten percent, guys. Oh my God. How about bro? I did a total three hundred sixty. That's a big one too. People are real fucking stupid. They really are stupid idiots out there Not the people that listen to the podcast. No, not those no. Certainly not the people that subscribe on Substack Joe, you're fucking great. So your celebrity sex pass would be Miss Piggy. Are youre just not going to go on Is somebody ratting around in that head? Kyle. I just told you. M Pigy We gonna fuck the puppet Yeah. All right Kyle, who's celebrity. It would be the first time Tarly at well. Okay L at that. noobody knows who the fuck whereere to go nerd. See a day one Coachella bottom of the poster She's u the British version of Captain America in the Marvel movies Haley Oh, Oh, aggent Carter. Agent Carter. Yeah Yeah yeah, I was on aggent Carter. I was a v' right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah That's why I picked it. kissing up to Marina., she's beautiful Y she's beautiful. It's got some curves to. And a very nice person All right, don't ruin it now with your No That's nice to know would you want it to be a bad person U Well, she's marri she's not married So I'm saying there Are you gonna ask her dad was a chance,uh? Are you gonna ask her dad Grant Atwell? What was what was keeping Kyle from fucking Hilly Atwell? Yeah, not my wife if she was married, that's right. Katie would cut your balls off and serve them to be in a stew. Well, Katie has her own. She's got Catherine Zeta Jones. Oh yeah. Suddenly suuddenly, Kylent. Curnt her in her prime or no, whenever K Wheneverver. Did you what Joe just said? Kyo just got interesting for the first time My wife is more interesting Yeah yeah, she got a lot, she just got very interesting I'd like to know her thoughts on Holsey Katherine Zenna Jones But can you pull up Halsey? I just want to see what Halsey looks like? Sure, buddy It a great poetry book too Mam. Is that what turns you on about her? The poem about masturbating as a kid true did.. I love that you don't know any of her songs, but you do know her masturbating poress There's kind of a little Looks a little bit like you have a type. That's not my type at all. Beautiful womoy. It's just a vibe. It's a vibe thing. It's not it looks whatsoever. Yeah, my type is beautiful wom. Who's your celebrity p? Earlise Charlies Thron Yeah. Ire they going gonna to say Jerry Holloway. 'use you love the Spice Girls. J just st it with I thought you were gonna say Jerry from Facts of Life. I do love the Spice Girls. I think you say Jerry Jewel from Deadwood. Hecussing boss You like D deadwood Deadwood. I think it's I don't know. I didn't see the movie though. I didn't either. no party down return No it wasn't now. wasasn't satisfying? No. But that the guy who createdid Milch dead. Passed away, R? We just had this discussion Did he pass away? I thought he I was corrected. He's in an old folat. He's in like a Hollywood home. He's got real bad dementia. Oh is that what happen? Something happened where he's like He's still alive. He couldn't create anymore. That's aummer. Be his whole style was crazy, right? Like he would lay in the middle of a floor and just start spewing out a story and somebody would be like,ad something like that. It works. It worked great. don't look I say Deadwood is as I don't know if anything will ever be better than Spranos, but Deadwood and this is a New Jersey guy. I love it as much as the Spranos Like I'll watch it a third time whenever. I'm down I We'll say this Love Sopranos. My favorite show is Breaking Bed and Better Col Sal as a whole package.'ve never seen Breaking Bed. I gotta do it, hu Ken wait a second. hold on a second If you're say what John Slattery tell me to do Are you out of your mind? you haven't seen breaking bed Jmust starting Game of Thres. I'm behind. was Game of Thrones is terrific. It's a lot of fun. I have to watch it with closed captions because I don't know what the hell is happening a lot of the time. That's fine. Yeah, that's okay. I love it It's great especially that first season and unbelievable I just loveve that you watch Deadwood, but you you don't think you'll be able to follow Breaking Bad. I know how to say Yeah. Deadwood's like Shakespeare. I didn't say I was couldt follow Breaking Bad. I just never got to it to rehab for a while. You're a big Shakespeare headad. You just know I hate Shakespeare. You love You hate that The classics. Yeah, that's me. No, you know, I go on rants often. I fucking think the classics stink. I read Moby Dick, I was on page two hundred and they weren't in water yet. They weren't in the fucking boat. I was on two hundred I read Cujo and the dog hadn't bitten anybody at one seventy. What the fuck are we doing Get to it I'm a TikTok guy I a big TikTok guy. Just show me a wacky dance akeish. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was the celebrity pat? Who was it again? Chharleie's Theon She's Afran American She is. Her mom is in peak mom She we go to the same physical therapist, but I just broke some HippA laws. Is that HIipPA? PT What no Yeah her mom's in it. that might put in a good word for me. Her mom's fucking no joke. She calls me a pussy and stuff. Like she's exactly what you want. Who's this? Chhirley Sirron's mom. We be at the tables next to each other in physical therapy. Which' call you what? A pussy Why don't you just do it? Don't be a pussy? Oh, that's great. I don't know why she's Scottish one. Don't be pussy. Have you gone to any World Cupam I watched the Japanese one B night two nights ago. And then I watched US play I don't know who Australia Yeah, aboutbout four days ago. two three, three four two n No I was good. pitch it was too. But the truth is is I haven't really gotten World Cup fever. Why am I putting fucking quote? World Cup fever.ow? you allowed? Okay, great. All right, then World Cup fever Yeah U because I'm still riding the New York Knicks H Let's go New York Kicks NBA champions put quotes. I was at the Tipp ands not quote. There's no quotes on that one. He was at the Tippen game You were at the tipping game? That's incredible. Wang it's the Wuang Wuang game. Yeah. Wang game. So when Wuang came out at halftime They were doing, you know Wu Tang Klanate you know, putting the mic toward the crowd trying to get The start of their performance, everybody was like We love you Wu Tang, but we're this is not the time. Right. There we went down twenty eight at Yeah. And by the end of the Wu Tang set Everybody people had come around New York Nicks ain't nothing the fuck. I've never seen a halftime show with the word fucking it in my life. They were supposed to say fuss, I think. and then they were like, fuck this're we're bailing on fuss and we're doing fuck. Amazing. And by the time Methodman said Nixon five at the end. everybody was like, you know what? Yeah, Nixon like Wu Tang change the vibe in that arena Well I so I that's incredible And to be at that game, I mean, that must have been Was it shaking? It was shaking. Yeah. and no one left after People were there. We were there for like thirty five minutes after Cure didn't kick you out. They played all the songs, they played Don't Stop belieelving and New York, New York and Empire state of mind. It was just You know what of the perfect game to end in Madison Square Garden. The fact that they won on the road like to have that be the last game in Madison Square Garden is incredible Soill that night. So I was in New York that week. So I was there for game three and game four And that game was the premiere at Tribecca of Gail Daughty and the Celebrity Sex passass And it was it started at eight thirty, exactly when the game started. And so I was sitting in the back with one earbudt in listening to the game on the radio while Nor Chestershire, PJ Garisimo and Doris Surke Wh the game was going. No, I was listening to Monica McNutt, no. Yeah're lucky Yeah. Yeah. You're lucky. And u and and u heartbreaking. So I wasn't enjoying the movie, which by the way, it was the movie was sold out, but then was your movie. sucks That night half the people weren't there because it was yourer? Yeah, but that was fine. Everybody understood. like it was just of course, it was the biggest game in New York in forever, right? moovie ends, we do the Q and A. halfftim Go to the after party. the Soho house or whatever it's so grand. I made sure that there were TV's there. Watch the second half of the game the at the party and watch that comeback Every second of it just standing there. And I'll never forget it. It's like it's like everybody will remember where they where were you I was here in this realouse Ustairs Watching it with people by yourself. Me and my wife, yeah and screaming Unbelievable, right? The owner of the Lakers sccreaming for a next vector What you were with the owner of the Wait what? In a carnal way, he's been with the own of Lakers. Keny's a drink after that one Kanraac v. I don't understand You're married to the owner of the Lakers Why are you doing this? Is that true How do you think you got a running point? putut the word in. I never put two and two together. A you been serious ' Arg Gandre did this and he totally fucking catfished me and I felt like a dick. No. So now I've learned, you see my face? You dropped Jeanie Bus earlier in this show? I didn't say her name No. No I didn't No I dead. He was talking about his wife You talkking about Jenie upstairs my wife I didn't put two and two together Oh yes, we do it You never knew I was married to Jenie Listen, I don't stay up on in all theapers He thought he was married a I't read papers. I' married to Tarry L Pap. I'm a TiTok gu. I like that Karry, just give me a little dance I'm sorry, he thought I was I think you married to Johnny Ware How about that I really thought you were fucking with me. No, I'm not fucking with you. I didn't know. Yeah, it's nice. She's my best friend It's great to have a best friend who also it does have its advantages It does Unbelievable. It does have itsility. You can meet Halsey for one. I get to meet a. Wow. shhut up, Joe You knew Sure Let's say I knew. No, you really not. Well, listen, I don't know how did you stay onm courtside of Delakers with her all the time for no reason? I don't I I saw you last. I saw you in. your voice. You're yellking. I'm talking myself. Oh, all right. yeah. By the way, how about that teenager with the air conditioner? Thanks a lot. Did it I mean, I'm feeling good Oh, okay, then I feel great too. Are you schritzing U I I really got on my heels because I thought I offended you early Listen, what get back on your toes, let's go. Me and you. Your show, Gill,, why can't I say fucking? You could say dotry? D, thank you. Gail Daurey and the celebrity Sex passass. We're watching the trailer Uh, Indie Wire says it's a masterpiece I'm not saying it. Indiewire saying it I mean, that's Pretty nice And this what I like Vulture What does Vultture say Full tilt silliness Full tilt silliness, full tilt silliness. I would agree Again, these are not my words. No. this is Vulture saying. Vulturewireers. A friend of ours named Vulture He's a Mongol. He's in motorcycle gang, We call him vulture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love his tats. He's a great guy. The one percent one on his neck U no. Do you agree with these assessments? When you finish donon't be modest. When you finish it, you watch it, A you able to sit back and go This is full to silliness. Here, let me ask you movie reviewers are so stupid. Let me ask, well, you gott to see the movie because it'suid.'re wonderful I love to be in a wonderful. I love to watch it littleittle Freddy and slip. Next Really? I'm an oververt whorr Can I'd love to work with you. You're too busy going all the Laker games. It's off season. I got audition for Paywatch later. Oh, wow. you soone tpe? Yeah, for he's help me with it. Ex wrestling coach, who's not in the best shape, but he's of like that's me The All right, so are you familiar with the movies that I've like done like with David Wayne One of the Wayne's brothers See. So David Wne is we were in a state together. Remember the state back in I remember S sketch comedy? Yeah. So David and I were in the state together. He directed Wet H Howot American Summer That We did a movie together that we wrote called Wander Lust. We did a movie called Role mododels. We talked about this when you did the podcast the first time I'm just trying to give you a little context. so Um This is another movie that we wrote together. And it's full tilt silliness, you know as you've heard, it's a masterpiece Now these are your words.esome. Now these are There's our clip. We're clip farming the time. I'll just try really It's Yeah. I mean, it's a fun, ridiculous movie that I'm super proud of And Ze Deutsch is in it Jon Slattery is in it, Joh Ham's in it. John Slattery as himself This is really cool Llattery playing a version of himself.. But He says H I'm John. He sure does. Yeah He's he's the guy like if I if you came up to me in like junior high And said, how do you want to look? and when you're like, I don't know, sixty? I'd probably point to a picture John Slatter angle. And they'd be like, No that's Brady Whitford I don't Yeahah, not I'm going John Slattery. Yeah. I mean he really got me in Madmen Yeah like that's my guy. Yeah. He's like Dean Martin Yes. Yeah. every Dean he has a carry Grant glasses. Yeah, Dean Martin vibe. Yeah Uh Why didn't you two get along? U Slatteryi? Yeah. What's going on? Eo. You know I get that a lot. Big ego. When he was here, I couldn't get a word in him Slattery is the nicest guy and incredibly talented and super funny human being. And so to get to do this with him was a real treat. He's one of those guys you hear he's the nicest guy and you go, yeah, like that. he just oozes that. He's just very confident like Like you said, he's very Dean Martiny. He loves his son's son or son. I see just I've just seen I think cllips are something of him and his kid. like he's just like he gets it. I've surfed with him in Venice It's just seeing him out there and it's like, You said was Bunnning point an offer. Was Brunnie point an offer? Did you audition?? Why were? It want Joe to get airtime.. No, tell us about that surfer No. just like look how much cooler he is than R right? That's what I'm saying. He' was a good surfer and like cool in the water, like, you know, jovial, nicey like milky white skinny. And I was like, I like John Flattery a lot more. and I already liked him a lot, but I was like, look that, you know, when you're in the surfing can be a little bad vibes out there sometimes He was cool. They really become like pers snickety old hens out there, don't they What's the biggest argument surfing? People dropping in on you. He, you dropping in on me, man. It's my wave, man. I man w dropping in. It's c over go over to Orange County, man. What are you doing? Now other times I've heard go to Alibu G dash out of here, G to Malibu How do you? So this is what I wonder. likeike if I wanted to surf, I get a surf forard, I' just maliba Yeah, I guess so, right? But Malibu's bad too. everywhere Malibu is where it's bad. They're all jerks Yeah So like, how's a guy with a surfboard? likeike, you know what, fuck it? I'm gonna learn surf. I'm gonna get out there. I can't paddle out anywhere for fear of retribution. consequences and repion. That's right. That's right. Really? Yeah. You know, I would just watch Point Break And I'm an FBI agent. That's right. That's right. And and it was happening back then too, even in that movie. Yeah. you really had to I mean, you know, what's his name? The main guy Kim Reard. Yeah. he was getting a lot of shit when he first started to learn and it was Ketus Yeah. They like, hey, and then somebody stood up. Yeah, Ketus, Yeahah And I was that was messed up. He didn't know he was doing You know, and then what's your name came and she helped him out Patty. Yeah. she came out and she trained him a little bit. and then all of a sudden he just he, you know, he caught on real fast and then became friends with Patrick Sweezy. You know, And then I mean, then goes off from there and then they started robbing banks. That's a problem. But the surfing part was, you know, it was hard for him in the beginning I'm just glad I didn't pop him for those bank robberies. That movie made no sense, by the way. I was watching and I'm like This makes absolutely no sense. There's always a meet upp next to a pagoda on a hill in LA. likeike where is this magical pagoda where the rival gangs meet up to exchange a briefcase? It's always a pagota and there's always a fucking baldwin or the bonfire on the beach or like full tilt tackle football game or like's where they play football. adults who just don't care about their Achilles. That does happen in Manhattan Beach It just bonfire after bonfire. So I have actually seen that, but there's always like this weird meet up They do it in heat, they do it. It's always like, all right, we'll me at that place. That pagota. It's just something an incredible view. Some random you get paid by the pagota. The twinkling lights of Los Angeles. Look at it all spread out beneath us and here we are Jangeo Were you in heat, Rhett? Yeah. Yeah, you were great in heat. Thank you very much I didn't like the ponytail was fake Ponyt telling he Well spoiler alert. Have you met Kiana Reeves? No. He's the sweetest guy in the world. He seems like an incredible human being. We had this crazy fight scene in Street Kings and the The stunt guys, you know, they'll take as long as you give them to work shit out because they're just it's their time So they're for two days. It's like from the car up to stairs, out the window, onto the roof, onto the other car, into the bushes And then finally they show us the whole elaborate thing. and he just looks at me and goes, Shall we dance? I'm like, this is shall we dance? This is Neo from the Matrix. I'm like, let's go. Was it after Matrix? Yeah So we one movie was called Street Fight Street Kings. Street Kings, one of favorite movies. O It came out on view map Pull tilt cilling. They put it on airplanes Are you you're the bady Um' cus that bend the rules both of you All of us It It's a lot of great. Guy the Rad training day, David Ayers. Oh.. So we did one take before launch, then we broke for which is like of the stunt and then I don't need a big lunch. and then I'm walking past this trailer and he's sitting there in a wife beater And he has just a steak on a paper plate. Wh this rebs? Kano, yeah. and I call him Kiano. And then he's got a little plastic knife and fork and I go, what are you doing? And He goes a steak. G gott to get my blood up. Gotta get the blood up. Yeah yeah. You want some? Gota get kept saying, gotta get the You you want to feed you steak? I hope you took him up on the. to get the No, he didn't offer. I made that part up. want You want some steak? comeome here. Come here. L in your mouth. Gotta get my blood up. Yeah, gotta let's get your blood up, man. Let's get them over here What's your wack is? Anybody come Anbody walk into your trailer unannounced You work a lot Wait, you get trailers as an actor? I do. Oh shit. usually with the act I't acted in a while I got kicked off of Ssag Aatra healthcare. What? Now I gotta pay. That's not true. Like him No it's true. 'a my they yeah and acted in a wild cat. What about street street fight I wasn ant in street fight. What is it? Street worldorld My favorite one that guys do training Streets. Street training. can far the star of street training. By the way, training dayay is a great movie and it I'm gonna now when I go home because a lot of times I'm home and I'm like, what am I watch? I'm going to watch that movie that you're saying arere you an Italian immigant? What am I watch What am I watch? I What am I watch? What am I watch? No, but'm gonna I'm gonna watch your movie And I can't wait to see. I don't know the name of my movie. Street something and it's Foreday training dayay. Fororest Whitaker Can read The name of the movie is Forerest Whitaker? No, that's the other movie. That's the follow up movie. Oh. Forrest Whitaker, which isn't as good as the book I lovears Whitiger, Kiana Reeves, Jay Moore. John I can I MD be all this. Yeah, yeah. If you put all these names in in training dayay ye Yeah, I'll find they'll come up. Yeah, yeah Three kinks I wish I was never born. Wh? Then we wouldn't be here. No, but then I'd be born and you guys would celebrate my arrival. Yes. Hey, by the way, this thing, I don't know if your cameras could see this That's incredible. They're not on for you. That's fine. It's probablyably better that way. No you're the. Tarzan is angry. Held a news conference today along with Sun Boy and his attorney, lawyer. So Johnny Carson had to do that Yeah Can you do it like Johnny Carson? I also ate of Daran Aor, I feel like you're setting me up to tell me my Edgar Rice Boroughs is suing Vogue magazine for tarnishing Tarzan's image Tarzan's image. The man who was having a menag aroire with a woman in a chimp. Yes. E'ast theiality sir. Yes. fucking monkeys starting eights And then follow up joke. Tarzan's angry, held a news conference today along with his son, boy, and his attorney lawyer. Is it any wonder I'm retiring How about those guests Jerry. It's by the way, if you're listening it's aQue card from the Tonight showow Johny Carson Jerry Seinfeld Carl Reiner as a second guest is crazy and BB King. But didn line upp. My Snorey manager gave that to me andad Yeahah, but if you read the plaque, this is a cute card from the Tonight showhow with Johnny Carson. thirteen shows before his retirement. Just leave it blank if it's not the last show. Oh, it's nice. It's not the second to last show. It's like the last final week. You know, let me finish. It's not the third to last show. No That's not the last week. Lucky thirteen. That means it's literally the third week. Third week. Third week. Last month, the last month. Last month. Yes. The last month. He's probably only doing four episodes. That's right. Its probably might have been newew hardart hours. Yeah Youew heart had to figure it out. He showed up on Wednesday New Heart did. Yeah Hey, can we get back to Breaking bad for one second? Yeah, of course Get your ass in front of a TV and start watching Breaking Bad. Well, I got to finish six seasons a game of thron. Can't you watch don't can't you go the same time like a crazy like Rocky Erksson. So you just when you watch something, you just have to watch thing until you're done with it? Well, there's a lot of time to watch because my wife and I watch things together My wife I didn't know you were married. I am married to Steve Balmer, owner of the business. Developers, Developers, deevelopers And then as a family, we have shows we watch when we're all together which is what We've been watching cross right now. Alex Cross, he's a detective going after a serial killer Its It's like law and order with all bllack people. I saw a sassy black woman at LEX. I mean, fucking nails, wig, the whole deal. I turned it off. withith a Japanese guy That doesn't blow your mind Why are you guys sitting this out How old are your kids? My son is nineteen And I just played basketball with him. We did we went and played a pickup game yesterday, six five. Wait, so you worked legs and played basketball played worked legakes two days ago, then played basketball yesterday. I can't move. Bad idea. It was terrible. And I'm fifty seven. I was The next oldest guy was thirty five. My son's nineteen We play two on two And then there was a guy who was like thirty one and he was running around like Jose Alvarado, and that's who I was guarding It was hard And my body hurts. But it was it couldn't have been a better Father's Day gift go and play basketball with my son. What NBA player is your game like What's your style? You know, I Pkins now. I'd like to think I'm like, u like an OGN Aobe, you know, two way player, you know, really solid offensively defensively just like incredible defense, lockdown defense. But my but really probably three and D huh? You're a three and D guy. Yeah Pro probably like u God, I'm nobody because I suck. You can't suck. You're a tall guy, your hands suck. I did okay yesterday. My shot was working Um, and u you know, I was uh I was deceent defense. I had a similar father's D where I told my son, I'm taking a nap And I go, listen, if you really want to make this a special Father's D, when I wake up, the ping pong table will be assembled in the garage You're a big ping pong guy. Yeah. this used to be the ping pong room. And then he's like, Well you got to give me your keys for your car? I said, I already moved it I woke up An hour later. and it was just like like I told Joe, it was like a porsche in the showroom on the showroom floor, like glistening, happy. Walked in, got the Bluetooth speaker done. Oh baby. putut on my workout shuffle and just fucking house my sons until I didn't. Then we went to a queen tribute concert over here. Oh my God. came back, pulled a friend from there And then we just had like this effortless tournament where They The kids tried doubles and it's doubles is disastrous in Ping pong. Yeah What got you into Ping pong Community pool in New Jersey growing up and, you know, stand waiting for that waiting for and the pink pk table always had like a hatchet wound In the middle for you guys sitting the end of the table with your pals So if you could get your shot to land there, you were in good shape. So did you like Marty' suupreme I hated Marty Spre. Oh my gosh. There's no one likable. There's no one to root for at any time. Every he was despicable and I rooted against him. Did you like taxi driver? Yeah, but he wanted to save Jodody Foster I could root for him Pte Kight syndrome Whiteight syndrome. Is your mic on? Yes. Captain Sabahho. I don't know no Iiris. Go back to your tribe, pal before you get hurt. Harvey Kitell is the pimp. Yeah offfficer, I'm clean. It's already entrapment That's my favorite seself a favorite pal. D' fuck her. You you fuck her, you'll be back here every day, Give me all your money. Ner had no pussy like that H like he goes, you could fuck a coming her ass com in her face. Nor Rosesov Like he draws the line. Well does he say does he want to save her or does he turn his violence towards the pimp because he can't kill the politician He just wants to clean the city. He just sees right he's crazy, obviously. Spenc Prat No Joe's not. His dad is not my dentist. Brads Dad is my dentist. That's great. How you te looking? , cool cool cool cool cool cool. Teh look great. He's a great guy.id out if he sold Girl Scout cookies we clean them out We know the family, the good people Lost his house in the fireies. but fuck you drve. Who'd you vote for? Karen ass I live in to Panga. I don't get to vot for mayor. So then shut your bearded face. I feel like Wild Bill Hiccock. Pitics, politics, politics, politics., How about the big boys? I missed you. How aboutout the big game, right guys? I feel like Wild Bill Hiccock talking to the lazy eyed guy at the card table. Now I gott to go back and watch that. You got a mouth like a c I'm watching and just returned as a different character that was weird. How about that guy? He played three people, I think in Deadwood. You know what we're talking about? Yeah, that actor he's incredibleere Da. you slid. So yeah, in taxi driver He has a crisis of conscience where he just has to separate the good from the bad. One day a real rain iss going to come, Senator, take away all the scum. And it happens All right. No no, I'm with you. I'm listening. I want to because you were say apparently your show is, I didn't like Marty Supreme. I love Timothy Chalamay and I likek all the actors, all the performances were great, but I just I gott to have somebody to Yeah yeah, yeah. You And it was a little long and by a little long I meant holy shit. I was roing for the guy with the dog, but they made him into a villain somehow. The guy just wanted this dog back. Yeah he just wanted do. It was a new Ferrera. Yeah Oh, that was a B Yeah ye Who made Bay Leutenant Lieenant Harvey Citell. remember Harvey Citel. did all tracks, Ken whichich by the way It's also Cin Qinn E exact same impression just That's a good, you do a good Colin Quinn. Look, I understand If you just get in touch with Joe Joe will make everything all right. Colin Quinn has Harvey G Jell been. Oh dar, he got shot in the gut. It's my fault he got shot in the gut No jobs in this town are there Look, you wantanna make M money, leave it on the M. Series has to go seven games How long have you known ColinQuinn thirty years That's it That's it I feel like you've known him longer. Oh when did we got to high school up in New York around the same time eighty. I started stand up in eighty seven Probably Mac Collin, like ninety five, ninety four. ninety three I was doing MTV's lip service and he was on remote control. Right. And we were doing a state in ninety ninety three to ninety five. Did you ever go to spring break We did one time, yeah It was the weirdest thing. Well, for us, it was weird because we went and like come to us a sketch on the stage for all these little kids in there. So we did. So we went and we did hard on Shakey Willie, which is a basically we did we're like, well, they're like hard ons So we we did a scene from Macbeth and all of us just came out in tights person who came out came out with a bigger heart on Don't ruin it for me. I did, That's it And how did they like it or Yeah, of course, you come out with you come out and everybody has a bigger heart on. I likeked that. Yeah. Yeah. And we got that they showred that on MTV Good. Yeah We my friend Milton, who's a kind of guy that he directed Club MTV and he directed me on lip service. He's the kind of guy thats so anti confrontational. he won't put a seat back on an airplane. He doesn't want to bother the guy behind him. So he rents a corvet. He's going to get to go to spring break. He's going to get a cororvette. He's going to treat himself And they're like,'re at of Corbtte, you' got to get a v. And he's like fuck like the S sack Nothing goes right. And then he's like talking to me in the hotel lobby, like they gave me a fucking van, I can And then Ken Ober and Colin Quinn walk in. they're like, what are you guys doing And they look pissed off and he's like, we're just sitting here and he goes, We met all these Hawaiian tropic girs, but they won' fit in my cororvette if only we had a van. And he goes, I have a van. I got a van. I got a manan. And life turned out, The good guy won U So your celebrity sex passes Miss Piggy that's Greg You're going with Carol Chlearol Excuse me, Carol Chany. Carol Chan. You're going with Tiffany Hadish and your wife's going with Gary Coleman And I have a question about celebrity sex path. Yes, please. Did you write it for John Ham to be the celebrity sex path Well, we wrote it a long time ago, but then as we sort of were honing in on it, we're like, John would be perfect for it. So was there somebody that was a placeholder in they were second. They were like, John might actually do it. That's really. We were friends with John. o, great. So I've known John since, you know, back in the day when we were all auditioning for stuff although, you became like a big moovie star h But you know, I was, you know, I would sit in rooms with John Hamm and we'd audition for stuff and then we joke around and so we became friends and play poker and I'm putting myself on tape for Baywatch Ebs and flows, highs and lows, you know? But you're doing this. This love this. This is the best. I mean like what do you Theyaght me that it makes money. I didn't know this shit makes money. Yeah. I don't know I'll say that tot make a dime. I just did it for ticket sales, but I don't go on the road anymore. So this makes money. Yeah How he do it? You get ads And you make money, you get clips, TikTok, like YouTube gives you you do it. You tell them. Yeah. all the social media sites are monetizable. I need to do it. M money. But everybody does it now But yeah, exactly know, you can give a to. That's the thing that nobody else has. I'm Ken Marino. That's what we're gonna call it I'm Ken Marino. Scept Min' son You just have to clean bumble pool. That's right on the Andy Gump port. How did Andy Gump become the porta Potty King Well can I tell you something? Yes. So on Long Island Ralph Machciio His dad owned a bigger cespel company. Oh. Right So at that time I want to be an actor. Ralph Macciio was a blowing up as a gigantic actor. his dad streetfood a gantic accesspool company that like was all over, I forget what the name of it was, all over Long Island And my dad just started a accessible company. and had a small, you know, just one pump truuck And and I for some reason my head, I was like, oh, so all actors Dads who have cespel companies And they just on Long Island and you got to breakout of this Yeah. And that got to prepare you for a career in Hollywood. Yeah, R. Yeah shit we're dealing with all that shit. This is the worst Springsteen song ever. Or the best. Do there leave anything out that you'd like to talk about, Ken Just Gaail Daughtrye and the celebrity sex passass. And that's available july tenth. Unbridled silliness. What was it called? Full tilt tilt. Full tilt silliness from You know, listen, let's not make fun of Vulture, Vulture knows what it's' talking about. What' making fun of Vulture They gave my friend Ken's movie a great review and they're not alone because our friends at Indiewire said it was a masterpiece. And is a's based on the Wizard of Oz. That's my next question. It is It is a retelling someome modern they reimagining. Yeah of the wizard of Oz. But the but, you know, the way we do it is if you don't know At some point in the movie you'll start to be like, seems familiar. And then youll by the end, we really kind of I understand you're the tin man That's right. Wh' Do you have a fan? of Oz person Um, Miss Piggy I wasn't. Oh, she's in the castle. That's right. You don't see her very Tin Man was the second choice. but Tin Man was the second choice because the first guy was allergic to the paint. and was Buddy Epsbson But Epson was going to be the tenin man, but they put the paint on him and he almost died Back then, it was like lead paint didnt. And then who was it Ray Bulgier? Wh was it? Ray Bulger was the scarered c. Burtlar was the lion and the Tin man was very creepy And I hate his song. if I only had a hot You didn't like it. No I love it. There's nothing wrong say. The movie's perf wors. It's a perfect movie. Is it? Yes. Jack Hley play. Jack Haley Not Jackie Hally. What do you what other movies do you think are perfect movies? Are we done? Are we done? No., what other movies do you think? Good Fellows is perfect, Annie Hall is perfect pointint break Point Break is not a perfect movie. You love Point Break. Step Brothers Borat. It is crazy that movie Borat step brrothers are perfect Iedically Step brrothers is in laws is perfect Yeah, in laws, yeah. Serpentine. Can I tell you something Miche? Now want we call it the thing Go back to your lunges. Um, what about the jerk Jerk is perfect Navan Johnson, he's born a poor bllack child R Johnson. That lieutenant is perfect Interesting What do you got to do to get nominated a guy smoking crack naked withookers. And he's a bad lieutenant, that guy. He's bad. It's in a title. What else is perfect moie Breakfast club Has an aged day Yeah, how's it going. Watched it about six months ago and I was like Beuse some movies don't age what stripes of. Can I finish? And and the window breaks He screams and the window breaks How about when Deme Mre How about a Santam Mos' fire when Demme Morere was going to kill herself by sitting in a cold room H the windows open They're like, comeome on out, it's not worth it. Oh that's right they're old She's locked in. She's just sitting there in the middle of the room, like no. Don't sit in the middle of a room. You'll die. So that one's not a perfect movie though. It's horrible I'm going to say u Ad Astra is perfect I never saw it I haven't seen an intereller so I can't give you shit on that. salad How about you, where do you prefer? you're the guest? Well, I mean, I think the jerk is a perfect comedy. Yeah. I think I think raising Arizona is a perfect perfect movie. I don't think you can get better than it Um, I think u I mean, for me Perfect movie thriller Uh Michael Clan Perfect T it better I' that point break watchatch this Nerd fest. Yeah I think Lost in Translation is a perfect movie. Interesting. Just how it's shot, like just the framing of the two characters. Well, you don't have to tell us why it's perfect it's perfect. I don't think it's perfect.ne F flle over the cousness.'s. One fllew of the cous like it's perfect. everythingvery's perfect. What's going on with? Yeah, guys, just' going with Johansson's little pink underpants in the beginning of that movie is he's perfect A pererfect, Yeahah, perfect Oh, Gailaghty in celebrity sex passass. Unbridled silliness. U July full tilt tenth. Full on tilt available everywhere. Masterpiece. When is it july tenth availablewhere U In theaters, Coming out in theaters. It's a movie theater, a block away right here. Youre you gonna go see it? I will You have my word. I have your word What should I do first? Breaking Bad or Gail Daughtry and the celebrity sex pen? Well, on the tenth Don't watch Breaking Bad. What if I watch Breaking Bad while I'm watching? and I've been As long as you go and buy a ticket? Wh jacking off the Halsey. Oh my God It's just a multitasking off in a long time, Really Is this a was like what this is the most like selfish thing I do It's the most selfish thing I do. This is No Oh, jerking off Slfish. Who's in please Whom I have of service to Yeah I gott to kill my ego all the time Let's can we make sure the episode ends before this fucking Lord Mor ass This is this is a this is a more story right here. I admire that you're in a band. Thank you You're the lead you're the front man. Middle agge dad jam band. Middle agge And I had jam band and you're the lead dad And the front man. Although the other night we did a tribute show, we were the middle aged dad Joel band We did all Billy Joel Okay let's go. List This has been a topic on this podcast. I defy anybody to come up with a better three album run then the stranger strangerty second glass houses you can't beat the talalking book. Steveie you want a talking book Songs in the Ky of Life. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. songs and a cam which be wnder impression No, you call me. I was't say interventions. I'm not as versed on Stevie and I should be, but you're a guy. I mean, you're the lead singer of the middle aged dad jam band. M M JB. Excuse me, Mad J B Middle East Dad Jan ban. Okay, good Yeah. I mean I've learned not to argue chap James Dolan in the straight shots Wait Who would open for who? J D in the straight shhots It's James Dolan's band, the owner of the Knicks. Oh, is he in a band called J D in the Straight shhot? Yeah ye, they're big You was a Fedora. Didn't it open for Jewel I think so Proably a venue he owns. I you open for you to. that's.e don't negative. That's ins. You got too negative earlier we were talking about the before you came, he got nuts Um so The only other answer I got was the first three Tribe ColdQest albums. Pretty good. How about the prets, okay computer today. I would kind of would put ammesiac. I would go kid A amesiac and what's right. Oh okay Uh, the the Beatles, you got u oh my god volver Yeah revolver, but there's some songs that sock in there Yeah Well some would argue I wouldn't, but some would argue that there are songs in those three Billy Joel albums that they'd be wrong Yeah, I like them all I've learned not to argue with Guys that know more than me. It was Steve Gorman, a drummer from the Black Crows I useded to move who hiss favite drummers were 'cause I asked the hard hitting questions. Unlike Charlie Rose. Yeah, yeah, yeah I asked the drummer who his favorite drummers are, and he said, Bonham and Ringo. and I'm like, Ringo. And he goes, JJ, who's your favorite comedian? I go, George Carlin. He goes What would you say if somebody that doesn't do stand up comedy told you you were wrong And I went And then then I just got into Ringo being the king of. He said he's the king of swwing He's also the king of simplicity apparently R? Like he like he doesn't do too much but he knows how to create like an incredible groove or just sound that is unusual to other drummers wouldn't do is what I'm learning, which is like kind of cool. Since you're in the we're doing a tour Yeah, when' you here go ahead I'm sorry to ask you your question No, since you're in the Dad band going to be Middle East that jam ban The drummer is David Wayne who directed Gayle Daughty in the Celebrity Sex passass. He created you write with and you wrote one Hot American suummer and I didn't write Wet Hot American Summer. He wrote that with Michael Showwalter. I wrote Michael Schowalter was holding him back likeike now that he's away from that. not is with you, it's better now It was holding David back. Yeah, I see what you're saying, yeay. I didn't under sometimes my hearing is bad. so it took me like that long to process what for real. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. So I'm like I'm looking at you going, let me run that back. What did he say because I didn't hear it And then you're both looking at me like, is this guy an idiot? But it's really just it's just hard of hearing more than you ever for an hour. Sulfuric. It's true. Middle aged sulfuric acid in your ears Italy Yeah, you gotta you gotta expect the ball when you're in the paint on this podcast. A lot of no looks.et it. I get it. Middle aged dad jam band There's a tour. Yeah, you have a tour coming. We're doing a tour in July. East Coast Tour, we're doing Rohobeth. We're doing Rhabh. Amagans. you doing Long Island Stockkhouse Yeah, we're doing Yeah, I think so. And then we're doing Irving Plaza Wow. Baby in New York and then we go up we go up to I think Rhode Island and somewhere else. This is a big deal. It's fun. I mean, we've been doing it for like three and a half years and it's a lot of fun. We put out videos on YouTube. We have our own little YouTube thing. We do these videos and you should watch and we did you know, are you a Bruce Springsteeen fan joy you or if you're a Billy Joel fan, we do a bunch of Billy Joel What's your favorite song to play A Stu to sing I like front m Vienna. I like sing Vienna big fan of that. We do we do scenes from an Italian restaurants When they're in anyere F different songs in one song. so great. Yeah, it's incredible. And then But I like I also like I like singing stuff we do some New Orleans stuff. We do I like singing like Van Moris and we do Domino. I mean, I like we do Ophelia from the band, but we do a lot of different stuff But the stuff I like is David and I David likes different musics. There's some overlap And that's Billy Joel is the overlap. And then he likes stuff that that I don't necessarily go to right away, but I've learned to like and then I do stuff like Elton John and Springsteen to Stephven talkal House. Make sure you play downown Easter Alexa, you know, Really throw that out there. Oh shit. don't And when you're in the club in Rhode Island, make sure the doors open out. Yeah I just subscribe to middle aged Dad Jam on YouTube. If I was a Springsteen guy cover guy,'d be I'd be like the deep cut asshole, like do the river Inident on fifty second street Spanish John drove from the underworld last night with bruised arms and broken rhythm but dressed just like dynamite Yeah, now see, that's deep cut. And I'm'm I'm I in my later years have learned to appreciate Bruce. So I'm still sort of learning. But I think there's three Bruce Springsteeen albums that some people say are the incredible There's River gets a littlebraska the Br're born to run Nebraska and what's the other one? right right there. Born in the USA. Is that what the tyit Mbe. Why do you do this joe? Well, I mean, that's the one that comes right after Nebraska. I think those them together. I think those are the three that some would say You know, referencing this guy. How did I miss this? You're right boys Albums, here we are you got so sophisticated Wild innocent E Street, Shuffle, born to run, darkness on edge of town, but Bbraska born the USA tunnel of love No there's no perfect bowie album either. Bowie's the greatest ever What would you say the closest Bowie album is I'm weird. I love Man of solder. What would you say? Black country It's got almost like black Sabbathy vibes to it. It's like kind of sorcery and dark Uh yeah day after day they take all my friends away to the dark part of them Do ever want to come sing with our band But you're just saying right now. Yeah now, showingough Have you ever sung in public? No? You ever do karaoke I'm a class hereere's me a karaoke. I sing and when I realize it's really good, I start haming it up. And you feel like ultimately it would land better if you didn't ham it up, but you can't help you. I have a good singer. I just get I get really scared So when you get scared, you then put up another layer of sort of a performative lay Booy boooo b. Come on everybody. Right, You get a little. Oras that you just making fun of me asking that question No. You What if you did that? I thought about. What if like you had people when did he didn' it? There's nothing funnier than that, right? In any world where you just repeat back to the word me me me it's always hilarious. It's fucking undefeated Mother Nature and miny Yankey man Right Pretty good. Favorite Springsteeen song to play live mean we only do one Rzolita must be n not. No, we do not do Rosolita, although I've been pitching that to Too good. It It's hard. Oh, you pitch it though. I pitched that one because I love that one. No no, we just do born to run. That's the only one we've done. And it's, you know, we always close our shows with W to runun or Wendy, let me in, I want to be your friend. I want to guard your dreams and visions It's the best Like he's nuts. T me, Springsteeen is what everyone always told me Dylan was And I can appreciate Dylan, but the Springsteeen really palatable and speaks to me. Wait a second There's three albums D't seill in albums. No Oh my Godd, whoa. ye Oh You don't like you don't like an unusual unique voice. I love The Daniel Eennois ones, I love O Mercy and I love T time outut of M mind. Time out of mind is great. Yeah, they're great But Highway sixty one revisited and then what was blonde. Yeah, blonde on blonde. And there are three like right there that are also incredible. Blank Cows It's going too quick stop it Southern music, harmony companion because three Chris Robberinon admitted that was their crashout album, Three snakes onene charming, but fucking Amerorica rising out of man. He loves it. is great. All right, I'm gonna go listen to it on their drive home. Don' Why lie? It's easy to tell a lie, Ken, but it's hard to tell just one It's just once you start, you can't stop. They're like giggle What's your bag, Ken Marino? What's your bag Ken Marino? Mion. So yeah, listen guys, subscribe to the Middle aged dad Jaman band. And go seeem. Middle aged dad jam band. Middle aged dad the middle aged dad a picture you on stage Now what is that? That you pulled up the wrong thing. I was looking at Bruce Els I want to hear you guys do scenes from an Italian restaurant. I'm excited.old Listen to it. So David Wayne plays We can't pay for it. We got an apartment with deep plash confs and apyuh I love it kill it. It's so good. He is a great song. And he kind of looks like Jackie Mason, which makes it all better. W the put in. Thanks for coming, buddy. Thank you. I'm sorry for coughing so much, but listen, first time you coughed the whole time. Oh, good. Let's good. Is there anything you'd like to ask me about show business? No, but it's always a pleasure seeing you. It was fun, It was fun running into you with the Laker gamish. I really thought you were talking with me. I should have put two and two together. who know Congratulations on the marriage And I love Do you love being married? I'd love being married. You my best friend Yeah, it's great It's really wonderful. When she comes through the door, it's like my favorite part of my day and I've had Other marriages Yes, that I know. And it's I regret none of them and you know, people They brought me to fatherhood. and they're good women, but there's something here is just It's not a lot of work this one. That That's great. Congratulations. I'm very happy for you Whoot's Dad Wh do whoo would your wife say is her celebrity sex p I wanted her. I I don't wantan to know. Really I was gonna to ask Jenanie, but I'm like, Why do you want I don' know it it's just a weird un function. It's a weird, it's a weird you know, exploration. I don't start with the Miss Piggy. I was impressed. Thank you Do you think you're anybody's celebrity sex path? I think he is. I think he is Thanks guys. I think some of those people that were at MPV Spring Break ninety four are still thinking about Ken Yeah, whereere was your boner on the scale of boners? you ear man or were you like walking upright? I came out with a like one of those, you know partarty balloons That was wrapped around I think I was the person. No, I might have yeah, no, I think I just had one that came down to my knee But then the last person came out with one that was wrapped around until it went down to their ankle It's like one of those big long balloons And then, you know, like we were wearing, you know, there those what we call it tight panties. tight But see through tights. can you can see the kind of shape What happened? Why can't MTV come back? I feel like everybody loves listening to music. Everybody has a short attention spin Put that on in your house while you're cleaning, while you're put picking up your kids' dishes next to the sink. How about start an MTV podcast Where would have the origin podcast What's that? We already have the origin podcast. What's that That was an earlier joke about forty five minutes ago when he was looking up the origin of Fly by Night and the hip And Joe said, welcome to the origin P.all back deep long ago. That was like three days ago. Hey, the Botox didn't affect my brain power. Affected mine somehow. The do you know where the word origin comes from? The guy What's the origin of origin? The guy I'll tell you, the guy that put the books of the Bible in their official order, his Bible His name was origin. It big Bible guy His name was origin. His name is origin. Wow. like Zamboni.. Exactly. Wait, tell me Zamboni I'm gonna go to store, you guys want anything There's a fire truck across the. You know Bob Goltweid's joke about being on a plane and it was You w want' to hear about Zamboni though. I'll hear about both. I mean, I don't know how much time. Zboni, the guy who invented the Zamboni, his last name is his name Zamboni.ui.uzi. Yeah, yeah Okay all Italians. Yeah Marina, fuck. Dan Marino, Ken Marino. Marino ice Yeah yeah. the best at dy night. fllip it over and get that like little sugary bottom. Remember that? Yeah.. Remember that? scrape the top, sccrape the top. and then as it's melting around your hand, you know what I'm talking about. It's melting around your hand. It's a little little you know, cardboard, whatever cup and then it starts to melt and then you get to like halfway through and then you flip it over And then it's said ice Crystallized ice sugar There's a few things on this podcast that made the whole room go, o Yeah.t The one was RC Cola, I think. Didn't the Marino one have a little hole in the bottom to you Or that not that I' familiar with. Why are you always got to say that extra sentence to ruin it? We had them. No, I feel like the merino I had the little butt hole in the bottom so you could push that out But holes. Marinos don't do butt holes. They're not there any butt holes at the bottom. I'm told you can. Marinos don't do butttholes K before they came up with Chili dogs. Do You know Ken Wall I'm familiar with him as an actor. Who's the most famous Ken that you know? Ts a great name that I think should be more active now I don't know. I don't know never Poodle's name was Kenny. The most famous Kenny is the doll That's a great name Chennis It's like a night. My dad would always be like, this is my son, Kenneth. person says, you take your sword out and they'd be like, Now go and clean the shit in a bag. Go paint your little butterflies. Go drop some sulfuric acid into the That' my son up Ken watch him go paint fucking butterflies on the ship tank. Yeah, he's out there painting. Where's that half a fag sent of mine with this fucking butterfly t? You're still gonna do that acting? whereere you gonna be Ralph M? All right, here you go, right? Thank you, Kenon. off course Jay Moo is my uncle Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt. My name is Cypher Sounds. I'm very famous in New York. Here's the deal. I got a show called Pay Y friendriends. And on my show, we talk to friends, we try to make new friends, we talk to old friends, we support each other. It's not just pay money. It's pay with respect and love and graciousness, okay? 'cause in this crazy eff world, we got to get together and what's better than talking crap with your friends. So I want you to come join us, all right? Cypher Sounds, payour friends wherever you watch orr listen to podcasts Rotten Tomatoes gave Rambo three a thirty seven percent. on Kight's Tailes at fifty nine percent. Top gun is rotten. That movieies's rule is the podcast putting those verdicts on trial Every week, me and three rotating guests we go scene by scene through a rotten rated film We rififf, roast, occasionally defend until we reach our own verdict Cricks aren't always wrong, but they're wrong more than they think. Search Bad moovies rule, newew episode every Friday