Drawn and Quartered and Flaying

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Like a good neighbor, state farm is there . Some stains are downright frightening. Mysterious spells, rogue chocolate smudges, you know your kids are always coming home with those. Unidentifiable spots, they always come home with those too. They creep across fabrics, haunting laundry day like little intruders that refuse to leave no matter how hard you try. But New Tide Evo is a laundry detergent that doesn't just clean, it banishes stains. It says, get out of here, baby, using six concentrated layers that activate instantly as soon as Tide Evo hits the water. Scrubbers, pre-treaters, brighteners, fresheners, each works together like a ritual of pure mag ical cleaning, and it's all in one little thing. The verdict, laundry that once terrified, now looks fresh, soft, and completely under control. You can send your kid to school in the same shirt they wore yesterday, as long as you've used this, it's great. I was making pastina the other day. If you know anything about me, I'm always making pastina. And one thing about that is there's turmeric in there. I splash turmeric all over myself, like the broth, the turmeric broth. And I was like, Oh god, this is never coming out of my shirt. Of course I was, wearing a white freaking shirt that day. I immediately put one of my Tide Evos in there and ripped my shirt off, threw it in the laundry, and prayed to the laundry gods. But I probably could have saved the prayer to the laundry gods because I think Tide Evo is the laundry gods. It's incredible. Stain came out. Sure, not ruined. I was so happy. Remember, even the creepiest stains don't stand a chance when Tide Evo is on the case. Try new Tide Evo, real laundry magic . Hey weirdos, I'm Ash, and I'm Alina, and this is morbid . Okay, did you guys catch that that actually was not big Red. I mean, I do a pretty good impression, if you ask me. But guys, Big Red is feeling not so not big good. She's kind of feeling big bad, I would say. So I'm here to introduce this episode on the ones and twos all by myself. I actually feel probably the weirdest that I've ever felt. I think I recorded one episode by myself, like way back in the laundry room days, and it's very weird to just stare at your computer and not another person. So, all you solo um podcasters out there, I really give you a lot of credit because how do you do it, honey? Okay, before we get into today's case, which is going to be a little revisit, I believe this one is the mid uh medieval torture episode, which like, wow, we're really throwing it way back there, dolls. I think this might be when I asked if eagles had what did I say cubs? If eagles had cubs. So the good news is I'm more educated now. They don't have cubs in case you're not as educated as me back then. Or the same level of educated that I was, apparently. Anyways, uh, before we get into today's episode, we have two pieces of exciting news for you. Numero uno is if you're not on the social media, you don't know the big cool news. We partnered with Hunt a Killer, who was one of our, actually not one of, our very first sponsor on this show. So that is like the coolest thing ever. That like this is just such a full circle moment . We collabed with them and we've been working for the past like I don't even know how many months, but months and months and months of work has gone into this. And we developed a game with them called the Salem S licer. I mean, can you think of a more perfect name for a game? The Salem Slicer, like that has Elena and Ash and Hunter Killer written all over it. So that is our new game collab. It's available right now for pre-ord er at Walmart, which is really freaking cool. Never did I ever think I'd have a game in Walmart. It is a very, very fun game. There's all these clues. You have to solve this murder. It's from the 1980s, it's obviously based in Salem. So basically, the game starts with this young woman named Abigail. She finds this box of evidence basically in her father's attic, and all of this evidence and like all these newspaper clippings and these kind of like just like weird snapshots, I guess you could say, are in this box in her dad's attic and they're all tied to the Salem Slicer. And she's like, hold up, is my own father, my my flesh and blood father, the Salem Slicer, like that would change our lives because this case is way back in the 1980s. So Abigail starts investigating and now it's your turn to start investigating because you need to solve the case of the Salem Slicer. And if you think that that sounds like the bee's knees, if you think that's just the coolest thing in the world, which like you definitely should, then you need to head over to Walmart to pre-order the game. Elena and I are so stoked about this. So that's that. That's one piece of incredibly exciting news. And guess what? It's not over. Doll faces. I got more for you. I truly feel like I'm hosting my own radio show, just like in the dark right now. It's really weird to talk to you guys completely by myself, but I love you. I feel close to you like this. So, second piece of news is Nicholas. Listen, listen, I know Nicholas is a controversial figure, but most of you love Nicholas, and if you say that you don't, I think you're maybe a little bit of a liar. Maybe a little bit of a liar, honey. I don't know. Or maybe you just don't know how to have fun. I'm just kidding. If you don't like him, it's fine. But if you do like him, this is really good news for you. There is a new shirt on the Morbid website, offici ally , and it is a Nicholas shirt. It is dedicated to our boy in the afterlife. So go check that out. Go pre-order the Salem Slicer and wish my sissy big ew, I never call her my sissy. Why did I just say that? My sister. She's my sister. Um, wish her healing vibes. Wish her healing vibes and so that she gets better soon because I don't really want to catch her stomach bug and I also hate staying away from her. And most of you are probably sick of hearing me alone, so maybe you're not. Maybe you love me. I love you. Alright, without further ado, let's get into the case. Hey weirdos. I'm the Iron Maiden. And I'm the brazen bull. And this is morbid. Medieval. Pass the mutton. Huzza h. Burn some heretics. Is this a competition? No, I won. Woo we're becoming a and our sounds a little better. Yeah, do we sound crisper? Shout out to our bro Aiden. Yeah. Does he listen? I think he does. Okay. I'll make him listen. Listen. For this one. Yeah, my nephew Aiden. He's amazing. And he let us take his fancy pants microphone. And his microphone is way cooler than our $30 one. So we're gonna buy this microphone. We are gonna buy it, and you'll never have to hear crappy old. Exactly. So hopefully from now on we're gonna have crisper, cleaner, beautiful audio. Well there was another kind of exciting true crime update this week. For a real bad guy. Yeah. You know that you always say he was a bad guy. He was a bad guy. A real bad guy. Real bad guy. I do say that makes me laugh. He was a bad guy. Every time you say it. A bad guy. I'm just very simple with my descriptions. Bad dude, man. Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do Oh, we might get sued for singing that. Let's not sing that. Well and finish it. And then finish it. Well, this bad guy is a real bad guy. He's a bad Larry. And he's the one that we premiered our podcast with Joseph D'Angelo, the Golden State Killer. Ew. Who is also officially the Vesalia ransacker too. They've officially said that he's that guy. I mean we one of the big things this week was that he was charged with a thirteenth murder now. We had mentioned in the episode that he there was a possibility that he was involved in the killing of Claude Snelling, who was shot while he was Oh my god. And he died. Um he was a community college teacher. He's officially charged with that now. So that's good because that family deserves. When does the trial ? Do they have a date? I don't know. I I want to watch it on TV. I'm waiting with bated breath, but do you think that it will be televised? Um I don't know. That's all to be honest. Well it'll be on like a snapped or like something later. Yeah, we'll find out about it later for sure. And we'll hear all the updates, you know. Nancy Grace will be on that shit. Oh god . But that gives me anxiety. I mean he unfortunately can't be charged with any of the burglaries or rapes because there's a fucking statue of le limitations on rape. Which he can't be charged with any of the rapes. He's not charged with any of them. The statue of limitations expired. It just makes me so angry every time I see it. Because he's charged with more than fifty rapes. Right. And he's just I know he's gonna go to jail until he dies, but it's like and he's like four hundred now. But it's like I want him to be charged with those and I'm sure those victims of the rapes would want him to be held accountable for them. They should give them at least some recognition. Hopefully the judge of something. Like if I could I would. Like a ceremonial charge Sometimes they do like an honorable. You know what I mean though? Like judges can say like Oh yeah. If I could I would. If I could I would. Like there was I forget what case it was, but she was like, If I could I would sentence you for life. I'm not allowed. Yeah, I can't remember. And she basically was just like, I oh, in the Joel Rifkin case. Remember? Yes. The judge was like, You're a disgusting monster. And I wanna make sure. I think he said, like, I wanna make sure that you never see freedom in this life or the next or something like that. Like it was something very poetic and very like yeah boy. I I'm not thinking that one though. I'm thinking of a different one and I'm like watching it in my head right now. Are you thinking of the it's a woman judge? Woman judge from the um yeah, I know exactly Larry, yeah, the doctor. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Remember, she went on like this big long road. Oh, yeah, and it was like amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I hope that's something like that happens. We're talking about the the US gymnast doctor who is charged with like a billion sexual assaults and rapes because he's a monster. But yeah. So that's exciting. Cr true crime news. Hell yeah. But for today, we're gonna bring it up today, way back. We are taking a trip in the way back machine. Oh, I would never go back to the Middle Ages. That is not that is not if you were like I don't even think it's safe for like dudes to go back to . It's really not safe for my I almost just said I would only go back if I was royalty, but then sometimes even royalty. Sometimes your head gets chopped out. Like in Berlin.. Ye Yeah.ah Especially if you're a woman, you're really women are really not. But yeah, I wouldn't go back there. I also wouldn't go to the future. No. I don't know what to expect. No. I'd go to like the seventies and the 80s. I'd go back to like the nineties. Yeah, I feel like we're in the nineties. I'd go watch like Are You Afraid of the Dark? Yeah. And just chill. Actually realistically, I'd just go back to when I was like ten so that I wouldn't have to work anymore and I would just stay there for a while. Just chill for a little while. Or I'd go to the future because maybe someday like I'll just like have my partner . You just said you weren't gonna go to the future. No, I just but I was weird to do it changed your plan. I would take a sneak peek. Yeah, they and then if it was real bad I would go real step out sniff around, see what's going on, and then get right to the bottom. But if I could be lazy in the future, I'm all about it. Oh yeah. I think everybody would be all about that. Take me there. Who doesn't want to be lazy? Yeah. Yeah. I want to be lazy . Ooh. Mail? The mailman just came and scared the shit out of me. Oh, okay. So there's that. Yeah, guys, we're actually um recording in the middle of the day. Which is this is weird because we never record in the daytime. And I love that we're like more spooked out during the day. Like at night, we're very much like moon dwellers. We are. Like the sun 's out. I'm like, what's happening? Why is it so bright? I'm in all black current. This is the worst. Sabrina the teenage witch is on the television. Yep. As per usual. Literally. Should we should we jump on in. So in 57 , no I'm just kidding. Today we're gonna be covering various methods and devices used in torture. Oh yeah. So this is kind of we're going way back. Because these aren't not that I know of at least used. And if they are I don't want to know. Except maybe one of them, but we'll cover that later. I kind of have animals. Just do it. Actually it went away . I really had to. Alright, so should I start? Yeah, where Ash is gonna do hers and then I'm gonna do a list of mine. Because guess what weirdos? Ash did some research this week. Ash research. Do you serious? At the top of the page is the brazen bull. The brazen bowl. That's my first um what's it called? My first like torture device. Device. Yeah, my first torture device. And it was invented somewhere between 570 and 554 BC. BC. So like way way back. Yeah. It was invented by Perilos of Athens. Perolos is a great name. Perolos. Perilos. Perilous. Perilose. It's like goatee. He's just like periling. It sounds perilous, so it sounds like Well just wait, actually. You're dangerous. Dangerous. Yeah. Dangerous. Perilous. So perilous was a bronze worker and he designed the brazen bowl to execute criminals in a super chill way. Yeah. Sounds pretty chill so far. Actually, I'm kidding, it was really fucked up. Oh, that's weird. Yeah. So the brazen bowl was a legit statue of a bull and it was hollow but made of bronze. That's pretty. So I read an article on allthat's interesting dot com. And the article was really interesting. Yeah. That web you know what that website has all that is interest ing. Yeah, that actually does. But it was described as a human crock bot on on this website. That sounds delicious. And potentially the most fucked up torture device in history. Yeah. Cause I use a crock pot often for humans. But I don't normally put humans in there. Yeah, it's just like a like celebration. Like usually I throw some like chicken, some veggies in there. Right. But after this , maybe I'll give it a shot. Yeah, I hope it's not with me though, because you need a podcast host. That's true. Okay, cool. Bye. Yeah, it won't be for you. Alright, so basically in ancient Greece, there was a colony which is a Krag is or Kragis. I love it. Um it's now Sicily, so I like that better. Just Sicily. I'm just gonna call it Sicily. Yeah. And it was ruled by a tyrant named Phalaris. So don't get yourself mixed up. There's Perlos, there's Falaris. Ooh.. It's a lot of peace Alright. He rolled with an iron first. So wait, wait, I just got confused. Yeah, Parallelus . Falaris. Okay. Parallels falaris. Okay. According to Aiden, we don't need a pop filter on this. So that's expensive. Hopefully, we'll see. Yeah, so we can go and it's not gonna piss you off. Your eyes got wicked wide, which I was like kind of terrifying. So Falaris was a giant asshole. I felt like he would be. But Perilos was like, oh my god, I'm gonna make this brass bowl torture device and my master Falaris is gonna think it's super dope. Because he's a big dick. Yeah, he's a dick, and I'm gonna make him a dickish invention so that he thinks I'm looking cool. Yeah. So I see his train of thought. I'm with him. I smell what he's stepping in. So how he designed it is that the person gets put inside the bowl and then a fire is lit underneath. Uh the crock pot after. Yeah. So basically the porn bofo just like burns alive. Fun. Yeah, it's it's really chill. I wonder if they have like a low and high setting, like a crock pot, where you can like simmer them on low for a little while. Well I think in that case you would just make a small fire. Oh, there you go. And then you could just keep adding wood to the fire. So then you would get you would get more tender meat. You know, this was BC. It was like they had to just work with what they had. Yeah. But I feel like they were on it. No, this is like some like modern day shit. Like I, was like, Parallels, how did you come up with this? Who you be Parallelos? Like, how'd you know this? So he designed it so that the pipes and whistles that he like put inside the bull convert the screams of those inside to sounds of a bull snort ing and grunting. So this poor like SOB is like, oh but the people on the outside are like, ooh , like that's what it sounds like. That's not what a bull sounds like. Bulls just walk around going Well, can you do your best bull impression then please? I like that one to be honest. Well they also say I'm just picturing bulls walking around being like Well bulls are mad. They're just like grunting. Fuck you. I like that he festooned it though. Like he made it fun. He did. He literally added the bells and whistles onto it. Well, so you know, he made it really fun. Yeah. But supposedly he was the first victim Ooooo saw that coming I feel. Yeah. He told Felaris. Sorry, I just totally lost my train of thought. That's fine. Um so supposedly he told Talar oh Fularis goodbye. He told that guy. So we said to this guy, his screams will come to you through the pipes as the tenderest, most pathetic, most melodious of bellowings. Ooh. And Falaris was really disgusted by that because he was messed up, but he was like, that's messed up. But he was like, I have a line. Yeah, and you just went way past every tyrant dictator person has a line. And this was part of Felaris's line, so he was so disgusted that he threw him inside, threw Parallels inside. And in my notes, I wrote Falaris was so disgusted that he threw Falaris inside . But he threw Paralos so disgusted. They just jumped right in there. They just threw himself in the goodbye cruel world. Light that fire. I hate that people like you exist. I'm just jumping in here. Yeah, no, he threw Parallelos inside to test out the sound system. Just to just to test it out. He wanted to know. We're just gonna give it a shot. But we just want to adjust the sound. Yeah, just like adjust the bass and the tempo a little bit. Right. Jump in there real quick. You know, just like let's let's see. So it's unclear if he got pulled out before he died inside or if he was killed after. But either way full I imagine he probably did it in the brazen bowl because they were like poetic as fuck, really . And they were like, Oh, you made this, so we're gonna burn you in it. Well, either way he died because I just thought of something really gross. The smell. Well that, but also can you imagine being the person that has to like clean inside of it between people? Do you think they even did probably not. But it's like when you open that thing, it's probably just like people juice all up in there. Yeah. That's nasty. Maybe they just like emptied it out into like I mean. Imagine me the person who has to empty that shit out of the way to throw their poop in the street back. But it's just like I just just You like turn your head the other way and toss it out the window. You know what it is? I have like this weird thing where I don't like wet food. No, that's not a weird thing. Like when you know how when you put a plate in the sink, like someone will put a full side sandy and food gets soggy . Yeah. That like the stuff that gets caught in the drain for lockers. Me out. I can't so I just imagine like soggy people and that's that's real bad. That's kind of like how reasons remind me of old people. Exactly. Yeah, it's exact ly the same. I just I don't know. You said soggy people, so I thought of just like really old people. But you thought of saggy people. Yeah. I see where the connection was made. Okay, so the next one is the iron Maiden. The Iron Maiden. Not the band. So metal. Is that one of their songs? That's definitely one of their songs. I don't know a single one. Sounded just like it. Yeah. Ash just did a really good air guitar up by her shoulder. Well really good. It was like an air violin. Oh, it was like one those people that you watch, two cellos? Yes. I love two cellos. Yeah, I bet they could cover an Iron Maiden song. They probably have covered an Iron Maiden song now that I think about it. They've covered an A C D C th song thong. Oh man . Alright. Well that we're not talking about the band. This is the torture device. Yeah. And it comes to you straight from the likes of Miss Trumbles the Chokey. Oh snap. Bringing it back to Matilda. And if you don't get that reference, then get out of my face. I also thought that you were gonna say it it comes straight to you. Like it somebody throws it right at you. And I was like, well, at least it does that. No, it doesn't. So it's an upright sarcophagus to get started. Oh, okay. With spikes. Alright. This sounds okay. Yeah, it's like comfy. Yeah. You just go and take a nap inside. For sure. And you just avoid the spikes. Yeah. Except but once you're placed inside in the doors are closed, the strategically placed spikes placed spikes pierce several of your vital organs. I mean was there an ant on you or something? No. I thought there was something. It's things are happening right now. We're in the daytime. We don't know how to we don't function in the daytime. I need the moon. Yeah. I need some bats fluttering by. I feed off the energy of the moon. I feed off the energy of the moon. We have an exciting announcement, and now you have to listen to the whole rest of the podcast because we're gonna announce it at the end. Okay. So it 's like what your vital organs is the moon coming on your podcast. Yes. That'd be sweet. We're having an astronaut on the plastic. The actual moon is coming. What's that guy that your cat that your kids like? Scott Kelly. Scott Kelly's gonna be on the podcast. My two and a half year olds are obsessed with Scott Kelly. Yeah. So there's that. But um Vital organs, spikies. Yeah, no good. But no good. The spikes were long enough to make your organ shut down immediately. That's unfortunate. So you just bleed out. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd just rather it all be boom. Yeah, it would take like I mean I'm sure you know. Oh, so you just stand there bleeding. Slowly have your fucking organs poked shut down and like juice floating out of your Ugh. Well and you know like when you 're floating like it's floating in front of you. When you go to like like when something hits you you move back. So then you probably just took a breath . So this might make you feel better. Oh good. Sometimes people argue with the Iron Maiden is fact or fiction. That kinda bums me out. Yeah, I I mean either way, it like it was it. It was a thing. And if it was a thing back then they used it. Well, and we're the worst species ever. So I'm certain it was used. Because if all of these other ones were done, then I mean this one isn't even as bad as some. No, it's really not. Okay, well, these are a few accounts. Okay. So in the 1700s, German philosopher Johann Philipp Johann Sibankis wrote about a coin forger, which I think is just somebody that like makes fake money. Yeah, that makes sense. Or like just forges coins out of metals. Yeah, because like if you think like she forged a check, like you write a bad check. Like you're just or like a fake ass check. You fake ass house. Fake ass yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he was the That's what he was. So the guy that wrote about this, Johan. Oh, motorcycle just drove by. You probably heard that. Well, you know, I just can't stop the outside. My neighbor got a motorcycle and I'm so happy for him. Which neighbor? One down the street. Okay, Elena has this neighbor. I'm 100% sure he doesn't listen to the podcast. he is like the nicest guy and he's so funny and his laugh is literally I'm the most contagious laugh you've ever heard. And it bellows throughout the neighborhood. He almost okay, I started watching Dog the Bounty Hunter again the other day because actual thing that I don't know if I can support support it. It's a great show. I'm gonna support it. I was raised watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. Wow. Yeah, which says a lot about how I was brought up, but it's hi mom . Um, so anyways. Sounds just like Dog the Bonnie Hunters laugh. I've never heard Dog the Bounty Hunters laugh. Well, it sounds like the impression. Can I just say that sentence correctly? So that's how far out of that I am. My favorite part of yesterday's episode that I was watching was Beth had a necklace on that said Big Daddy. I I hate this. It's the most disgusting horrible thing ever. I hate this. But she calls him Big Daddy. I hate it. Okay, I'm done. I hate it a lot. Where were where was I going with your neighbors? I don't know. I was saying that I'm very happy for my neighbor who got a motorcycle recently. Yeah. And um, I don't know if like the sarcasm is registering over the podcast waves, but not super psyched about it. Alright, so the coin forger got executed out there. He got execu ted in the Iron Maiden in the city of I think you say Nuremberg. Nuremberg. Nuremberg, which is a very proportionate punishment. Yeah, like like I don't know. He probably just could have did some time and the what's the thing where they put your head and then your the stalks. The stalks just threw them in there for like a couple days. It's fine. Yeah. Alright, so around that time, Iron Maidens began to appear in museums around the US and Europe. Bless you. According to one article I read. God bless you. A man by the name of Matthew Peacock, which seems legit. Paul Onions. Paul Onions and Matthew Peacock write a book. They hang there Ye.ah . Sh in the eighteen hundreds. Yeah. Well Matthew I think Paul Onions has transported through time. Yeah, he's seen some shit. Yeah. He escaped with Ivan Millat. He's had to have traveled through space and time. Probably. Well, Matthew Peacock spent the 1800s collecting paintings and torture devices. Same. He had a wide variety of uh interests. So he allegedly pieced an iron maiden together from pieces of other torture devices, slash random devices, and he gifted it to a museum where people went crazy over it because they thought it was a real Iron Maiden. Yeah, they believed it. What a turd. Yeah, but here's my favorite one. This one? Okay, you know how like folklore isn't always true? Yes. I feel like this isn't true, but I want it to be true. Ooh. It's just a little too advanced for the time of 100 BC. I don't know. The werey pretty they were pretty on it back then. Alright, so this account comes from Greek historian Polybius. See, and I know him, and he always tells the truth. Oh, okay. So you can believe. How do I pronounce his name? Exactly how he did. Fili bius. Exactly. Lived around 100 BC, like I said, and claimed that Spartan tyrant Nabus or Nabus. Oh, yeah. I know I know that guy. Yeah. Well, did you know that he constructed a mechanical likeness of his wife a pega ? That is really advanced fur. Um but it was an iron maiden version of his wife. What the fuck? Supposedly. So if a citizen refused to pay their taxes , he would like trick them into coming to his royal courts or whatever it was back then. And then he they would think that like his wife was coming to join them. But fucking mechanical wife. Yeah, but she had to like wheel over. So I'd be like, um, first fucking giveaway, she's on wheels. It's it sounds like the uh Return to Oz, the Wheelers. Yeah, well it just sounds like a rolling down the hill. So he they would think that his wife was there, because they're really fucking apparently. But and then somehow basically he would like spring them into her embrace where they'd be impaled by the iron nails that covered her arms, hands, and breasts. I mean that sounds legit. Yeah. I was just I believe it fully. When I was reading it, I was like I don't know. Like something is off. Maybe I missed something. I don't know. Yeah. It sounds legit to me. I believe it. I believe Pull would you know that guy. Well maybe they d I mean they debate if it's still around, but the s fucking crazy stories are still there. That's awesome. Yeah. Iron Maiden. So that was the Iron Maiden. The metal Iron Maiden. Yeah. Uh my next one is the boots. Oh, dash boots. And then okay, so there's um two methods that I found. And both of them, I don't know if it's like fortunate or unfortunate. Right. You don't die. Oh it's never good when it ends with like this is just torture. Not execution. Seriously. Okay, so in the first method, the victim has bo ots placed on their feet made of spongy leather. That just sounds nice. It just sounds like it sounds like soggy food. Ooh. Spongy leather, soggy food. It's like moist. Old people reasons. Fuck you. The word moist doesn't bother me. Is that why you keep saying it? Moist cake. That's what I think of. Moist . I think it's just the nasty ass look on your face that ruins it. That word only bothers me if people say it in like a yucky way. Like I'm moist for being outside. Yeah, that's so cool. Like if you're like sweat to be moist. Yeah. Yeah, that really that brown it somewhere that I just mean sweaty. Well that's what I mean. Yeah. Like that's what you can see. So you just brown it some . I meant sweaty too. So the boots. Dust boots. Um spongy leather. They're then tied up with their feet by a fire. Things get pretty serious pretty quick, is what you're saying. No, I they're just trying to make them relax. Steer some boots. Warm your feet up by a fire real quick. Yeah, just like hang out. Yeah. But then I'm gonna pour this boiling water onto your boots. That escalated quickly. So then that water seeps through the leather and dissolves the flush. And it's that it dissolves the bone too. Uh yeah, I don't think so. It's really hard to get rid of bone. And then in some cases wood was placed inside the boot, like probably like on the top and the bottom. And then they would pour oil inside to expand the wood and cut off the circulation to the foot. What the fuck? So they'd like smush it is what I thought. Yeah, that like cuts it all off. Yeah, so basically your feet are just real gnarly. Gross. From then on. And then in the second. So it'll just have like these necrotic, nasty feet. Yeah, their feet will die, but they won't. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like their feet will die. Oh yeah. Gross. Dead feet. I'm just looking at my feet now. Ouch. I know. I'm like cradling my feet right now. My hand, I'm like massaging it. Like you still there. You're there. You're not going to listen. Don't listen to the street. I'm not putting you in any boots. Don't worry about it. Okay, well the second version, cradle your feet a little and your shins a little tighter. Oh . So they would place the victim's legs between two planks of woods and then they would tie it together with cords. Oh I already know what I'm saying. And then between the cords, the torturers would place wedges, which they would then violently hammer into the shins of the victim. So thus creating them wood boots. Oh those aren't boots . That's not cool. It's like an artistic license. That's like hobbling like from uh misery. Yeah. That Stephen King novel. That sounds horrible. It's a great movie with Kathy Bates. Okay, well, each time a wedge was hammered, a small portion of the shin bone shatters. Oh. And then they would hammer at least a dozen wedges up and down the legs. Oh my damn. So like your whole tibia? Yeah, your tibia would just fall is just done for. Like it's it falls apart. Ugh. So then your legs are just like jello legs. And you just have bone shards floating around. Would you die? Which you'd eventually get an infection. And die. Probably because anytime they got an infection back then because they had nothing to fix that. Well so then anyways they were unable to walk after that. Yeah. 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Next one is gonna piss you off. Uh oh. The Skold's Bridle was a gruesome torture instrument worn to prevent women from gossiping. God damn women. Just like a big fuck you to guys back then. Like I can gossip if I want to. I can talk shit if I want to. I gossip all day. Yeah. Every day. That's you are a hairstylist. It's part of your job. I mean, you're not wrong. So basically the term speaks for itself 'cause back in the day scold was like a derogative term for women. No. Or like a woman who was constantly displeased or like nagged too much. So like you. I was just gonna say. The LT. Just kidding. And then the bridle is a headpiece designed for a horse. I was gonna say, isn't that like a horse? Yeah, the bridle is. So already that's that's nice. So it's to direct it when we're like riding. Yeah. The device is an iron muzz le enclosed in iron framework that would surround the head of the accused. That sounds like that thing in salt. So the intention was to prevent the person wearing it from speaking. And sometimes well the brittle bit would like go in your mouth but sometimes they would put a spike on the brittle bit or the brittle bit excuse me so that if the woman tried to talk, like the movement would pierce her tongue And like then if you I it would just ruin your whole time. Did they just have like somebody had like a mountain of surplus spikes ? You know there was a spike fighting all the time and they were like, What do we do with this mountain of spikes? And they were like, let's just make some fucking shit that rips people apart with it. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly the common spikes on everything. So if that wasn't bad enough, there's also a public humiliation part of this. I thought that was the public humiliation part. Yeah. But then your husband would drag you in the streets on a leash. Mehwin. Like, hey, let's get divorced, you asshole. Um, where people were encouraged to yell insults, spit on you, and like inflict more violence on you. Maybe that's where they got it in Game of Thrones. That's what I was thinking of the whole time. With the shame bell. Shame. Sh ame. Sounds exactly like it. Um, an early record of this practice took place in Scotland. Scotland. In fifteen sixty seven. Um well it was also the method was also used in England and Wales. Yeah. See they did it too. Yeah, everywhere, I'm sure. But Bessie Taile fur Bessie Bessie Um slandered this guy named Bailey, which is your dog . Bailey. Bailey Hunter because of false measurements in a land dispute. So I think sh someone was trying to buy land and he was like, It's this big but she was like, No bitch, it's this big. And then she got that shit put on her? Yep. 'Cause she was a woman. And she was sentenced to it for one hour. Of one hour? That's just weird. Well, one hour of a reputable damage if it they had the skull. Yeah, they could tear up your tongue. Right. Also in Walton on Thames, which is a town in England. Sure, I think. Um, a school tridol, I like looked on Wikip edia really fast. That's how I research. Um but a Skold's bridal dated 1633 is displayed in the vestry of the church. That's how we say it. Vestry? You're asking the wrong person about that. Yeah, I like wasn't even baptized today. The inscription reads. It sounds like something that would be in a church. I think it's vestry. I like it. Right in. Yeah. Um, but it says Chester presents the Walton with a bridle to curb women's tongues that talk too idle. Necessary. And also Poetic. Love that it's a poem. You know, I didn't said it out loud. I was writing it and I was like, what a fucking asshole. Like this sounds so flowery. I don't know why. So the story goes that someone named Chester lost a large fortune because of the ladies' gossip. I bet it was Chester's fault. Of course it wasn't. It has nothing to do with the ladies' gossip. But he lost the money and then he presented the town with the bridal out of anger and spite. So he was like, here you go, I'm real pissed. And then my last one. Do you want to guess what it's called? It's called B R is the initials. The Barnacle Repair er. Nope, it's the breast ripper. Oh, so close. So it rips off your titties. Oh, I thought it went on your head. Nope. So it's also known as the iron spider or just the spider. And you guessed it. Super fucked up. Super awesome. But if you were real friended offended actually by the schools. If you were friended. If you were friended, friended by the schools rental, then that's weird. Delete your Facebook. Yeah. Um then this one you should just set it out because it was sounds like it's yeah. And they like reserved like special ass torture for girls. Yeah, that was nice of them. So this one's really short and sweet and the to point. Uh it was a claw like device, ended in spikes, and they either heated it or left it cold. I don't know which one is worse. They would just put it on your boobies and rip your boobs right off. Or they would like hang it on a wall and then attach your boobies to it and then like yank you away so that the wall ripped your boobies off kind of. And that is all my research on boobs and the medieval towns I'm still like having a moment about that. Are you? Yeah. Yeah my boobs hurt real bad like thinking about that after I like research. Yeah, that's a lot. And my tongue hurt because of the skulls bridal. Yeah, I feel like everybody's gonna walk away from this feeling really sore. My organs hurt because of the Iron Maiden. Yeah, that's not okay. And I felt like I was on fire because of the brazen bowl. Well I'll I'll start mine off with one that's like the breast ripper in the sense that it just gives you everything right up front. You don't have to guess what this one is all about. Okay. It's called the head crusher. Like I said, pretty straightforward. It's back in medieval times, of course. Sorry. I was actually throwing things. Um so what it was was there was a bar that you would place your chin onto. Then on top of your head was a cap-like device . There was a little screw on top that they would twist and twist and twist, and eventually it was like a vise, and your head would go crunch, pop, boom. It was pretty awesome. So your head would basically pop and it would be crushed. And this happened super slowly, super painfully. And the first thing that would happen stresses me out a lot. Your teeth would shatter in your mouth. Oh fuck, I hate teeth things. Yeah. And then after that your eyes would pop out of its sockets. No. Yeah. No, goodbye. And then boop, dead. Pop goes through. So that's good. Except once in a while if 'cause a lot of these were like illicit confessions or just for punishment. So if they were doing this to elicit a confession, they might stop after they've popped your high eyes out of your head and or like have halfway have popped your eyes and your teeth have shattered and been like okay thank you for confessing like the guy from Harry Potter And then you walk away with no teeth and your eyes are like garbage. Yeah that reminds me of the guy from Harry Potter with that big old eye. Yeah, that's exactly the same. Oh. And a lot of these now a lot of the ones I'm gonna go over were done for such heinous crimes like homosexuality. Bye. Blasphemy. Bye. Witchcraft . Bye. Yeah. So I would have my head clue. No, I don't think any anybody would do great. So the first big one I'm gonna go over is called The Blood Eagle. Oh, this is great, like hard, like dark metal band name. Oh god. So it's probably the most nightmarish thing I've ever heard happening to a human. It was popular among Vikings. The Vikings are just fucked up. They're known as a very mellow bunch. So this is a departure. And it's believed by some scholars to be something done as an offering to the Norse God of War Odin before and after battles, so like for good luck or something. Like you know, some people Like maybe just wear your lucky socks. Yeah. It's it's the same. Rub a rabbit's foot. Pretty much the same day. And according to twelfth and thirteenth century scholars, it was most popular in Scandinavia because of Vikings. Uh-huh. And it was reserved when it wasn't being used just as like a pump up thing for battle. As a preg ame for battle. Then it was used for literally the worst of the worst people. I don't think anybody served this, but No, I don't think so. So basically the, blood eagle went a little something like this. No . The unfortunate captive would be kneeling or laying on their stomach. It's never getting from there. Yeah. Not a good position to be in. Just try to get up. Obviously, they would be restrained in some way to prevent them from getting up or breaking free or trying to get the fuck up out of the car because something bad's gonna happen. So first the back was carved. Nope. Sometimes it would be carved in the shape of an eagle, but that was not necessary. But either way, back carved the thing that was the most important was that they opened up your back in some way. That was the main purpose. When they did that, the victim's rib cage was then cut away from the spine with an axe, and subsequently pulled out one by one away from the spine and out through the back, and the ribcage was then pulled up to slightly resemble wings , which I have not seen a bird flying around with a ribcage shot out of its back, but I'm not in Scandinavia, so I don't know. Um Maybe birds are dim listeners. Take a Scandinavian lif listeners, let us know. I'm spo iled. Do you have crazy skeleton birds floating around? I don't know. I want pictures. I'm not gonna guarantee it's not a thing. Pics or it didn't happen. So you would really have to risk like suspend reality or give a lot of artistic license for this to resemble an eagle, but we're going with it. So to make the wing look, you know, because this is this looked like a bird, obviously, but we could get it more authentic, right? So to take it to an entirely new level of suffering. Oh no. The victim's lungs were then pulled out one at a time and laid over the ribs because what are wings without fleshy airbags striped over them? I mean, I'm in a dark place. A dark place . Who hasn't seen a bird flying around with fleshy airbags attached to them . Whoops hands. Who among us? Who? I don't know, bro. So obviously, if the victim managed to somehow live through this torture, which who knows, stranger things have happened. They would just slowly suffocate to death after their lungs were pulled out through their back. On top of that, they would rub salt in the victim's wounds because Throughout the whole time or just after at the end. Throughout the whole time. Because like if you don't season w as you go, then the end result . Then you can't throw them in the crock pot. Yeah. It's not any I watch a lot of food network and they are always saying ew. Season that meat. Ew. So it's important. So what was this for? Like what did you have to do? You're just a bad guy. Probably It's a real bad guy. Yeah, just being a real bad guy. Uh. Or gal. I don't know if they've d I I don't see any records of it happening to gals, but Vikings, man. Major yikes. So that's the blood eagle. Oh man. Now let's take a little trip over to the strapido. Strapido. Strapido. Also called Corda. Not sure why. Corda Yeah. Um it was used to torture heretics, witches, and anyone else that stepped out of the very fine line of living in medieval times. Yeah, like what could you do? Basically, it's like you had a bad day and now you're in the strap . It was used a lot during the Spanish Inquisition. That was a fucked up time. It was it was a time. It was a moment. It was a day. There were three main ways in which this was administered. The first one was the victim's arms are tied behind their backs with a rope. Also never a good position. Yeah, no. And then the rope is attached to a pulley system and the victim is lifted into the air with their arms inverted , which they'd then dislocate violently behind them. Now the second method is basically the same as the first, except the victims would be stopped in midair several times to increase the pain and suffering. They would also cause the victim to jerk around so that they would effectively break the shoulders. Because who needs shoulders? Shoulders like that. Yeah, that's no joke. That's pain. And then the third method was kind of the same as the first two, except this time they, you know, just add a weight to your ankles so that you really get your joints ripped apart. Oh my god. So that's fun. Now usually this torture was completed within an hour and it was not used to cause death. So these people were then let down and away you go. Come again soon. And then you're just gonna have rotator cuff problems for your whole life. Yeah. That's exactly the issue you're gonna have. Just busted rotator cuff. So that's a strapado. The next one is called The Rack. Oh no, I know about this shit. This one's fun. So in the rack, a victim would be secured to a board of some sort by having their wrists and ankles cuffed to it. No. It's never good when you're secured to a board. As you will see when we cover John Wayne Gacy, it's never a good place to be. Nothing good happens attached to a board. He's so weird. Also Dean Coral, I think, used a board. A lot of boards. This was no this was along the same lines, it's real bad. So then chains would be attached to the cuff and the other end of the chains would attach to a wheel. There was a crank that would then turn said wheel and this would cause the chains to slowly tighten. Oh no. Now as this happened, it was pulling your arms and legs and stretching them. Goodbye. But not just stretching. The joints, sockets, ligaments, tendons would all completely snap and crack. Ugh. Now, sometimes they would even go way past stretching and just pull the fucking limbs right off your body. Fuck you. Now, if they didn't take it that far, the muscles would completely lose the ability to contract, and at some point this person would be complet ely unable to move and likely unable to control like basic bodily functions like their bowels. I feel like at the end of this, they probably just like left them to die. Like I don't you know what I mean? Like they're just like not gonna totally kill you, but I'm just gonna leave you here. Because you're gonna die anyways. So it's like it's gonna be slow or it's gonna be relatively quick. So there were other variations on this method that were common. Like along with the stretching, sometimes the rack would include a bed of nails or spikes. So the person would lay upon these sharp objects What if they just had any spikes left over from the everything else? If they were next to a pile of spikes, they would just throw a few on there and they were like, Let's do this. Oh, and there were spikes everywhere and we don't want to waste spikes. No. Now this clearly caused a lot of fucked up noises. If you've ever cracked your knuckles, cracked your back, heard anybody else do it. Um I broke my pelvis when I was like in summer going into eighth grade. Mm-hmm and that pop that you hear, people like across my summer camp said that they heard it and it was like gross. Yeah it's no joke. I can like still hear it. Yeah. It's a disgusting and that's just like a small portion of what you'd hear here. Oh god, 'cause uh so many things would be crackle ckin. Well, this for this reason, torture wasn't only used for the unfortunate person attached to the rack, it was also used as a method of eliciting a confession from accused heretics by having them watch someone else be tortured on the rack. The sound and sight of someone's tendons, ligaments, and joints just buckin' tearing apart and popping all over the place was actually enough torture that it turns out that this was a pretty effective method for eliciting a confession because if you think about it you're fucking watching somebody be pulled apart slowly. So messed up. And the sounds would drive you mad. Yeah. So yeah, that's the rack. Ugh. That's the rack . And that's a rap. She it's should be called the ripa. Ripa. The rack ri pper. Ouchie. That's what the breast ripper should have been called, the rack ripper. Oh, that's funny. Oh, that's funny. Oh my god. That was funny. Good job. Incredulous. You're like sometimes hilarious. I am sometimes. Only a little bit. On to the next. On on to the next one. This one's called the wheel. It's also called the Catherine wheel or the braking wheel. Why Catherine? Because fuck you know Catherine. You know what she's all about. I know. This was used during the Spanish Inquisition. Okay. It was the cousin of the Rack. Zerak. Zerak. And it was intended for the purpose of capital punishment or for torture to elicit confessions. Same zies . Same sees. So there would be a large wagon wheel where the accused would be stretched out all over. Oh hanging out. They would be attached to it some way restrained. And then they would be severely beaten with clubs, thick branches, and you know, stuff like that. No thanks. And because they were stretched out on a wheel with open spaces between all the spokes, their bones would fucking break. Oh. Because of all the off-angles. And it was used for the purpose of torture. And then while the tor after the torture was complete in that respect, it would continue because the person would then be either removed from the wheel before deaths happened, or you would be straight up bludgeoned to death and left on the wheel for everybody to see. And then there's other ways where you weren't bludgeoned to death, you were just left on that fucking wheel to die after they broke all your bones. Whoa, how long do you think that would take? They said they could leave a beaten, broken body on that wheel for days. And they would just slowly infection would set in. And they'd go starving and hungry. Yeah, but they honestly they'd probably die from the infection too like quick. Because I think of those broken bones and shit. And I'm sure bones were popping through skin and stuff. Oh god, that's so nasty. Yeah. So if they were gonna if they were using it for capot like to kill you, then they basically would leave you up there and just keep administering beatings until you finally just died. Nope. From the trauma. I'm not interested. And no matter what, you were on public display during all this. People like to watch shit like that back then. Shit was mayhem back then. Like people used to like join in on stones and stuff. On stones. Stoning. People were stoned back then. They were just joining on the back. I think they needed to be stoned. Because they used to bring like kids to like public hangings and guillotine . My first college English assignment back before I dropped out of college . Yes. Back in the Middle Ages. Was like a short story about um somebody getting stoned and then we were supposed to write a paper about morals. Somebody getting stoned, like smoking the No, like somebody getting like legit stoned. Yeah, or like No, it wasn't stoned. It was like a book about like one once a year they would have to like pick a name out of like the town and that person would get like stoned or hung. It's called like the election or something. It's like the Hunger Games. Yeah, literally. But we had to write a paper on it and I remember reading it and I was like, why am I in college? Why am I in college? And then you were like, fuck. And then I dropped out. Well, the next one, you're like back to reality, unfortunate reality, is called the her etic's fork. Forks are never good in torture unless you're eating. Now, this was specifically used for people who spoke out against the Catholic Church during the Middle Ages. Why? Basically. It was a double ended fork. Both ends had two very sharp prongs on them. Oh no. It would be attached to a leather collar device that would go around the victim's neck. No. This created a situation where the victim could not move their head from a strained upward position and couldn't drop their jaw even a little bit. If they did, then prongs would pierce their neck and prongs would pierce their sternum area. And it wasn't like they would just be like, boop, that hurts a little. It was like, no, you're gonna get like impaled by this. It was very simple but very effective. And the whole thing was very poetic because it's like you spoke out against the church, so now you have to look up at your god that you don't believe in. Like that was the whole thing, you have to look up to heaven. And we're forcing you to look up into the sky. I don't see anything except the ceiling. It's like, please take this off of me. God? Are you there? It's me, Margaret. It's me, Margaret . Back in the Middle Ages. Judy Bloom. That's where it originated . Well the next one has a little bit of religion to it too. Oh, it's called the Cradle of Judas. Judas again? Jud as is I know this. Judas is the guy that betrayed Jesus. To be honest with you, I thought that was Caesar. Well it's the same situation. Like Caesar had Brutus. Oh Jud us and Brutus. Like etu brute means and you brutus. Like he turned around and was like, and you, you are my friend, I thought. And so Judas did the same thing. I'm very theatrical. I went to theater camp . And you had fun. in high school No, I'm just kidding. That actually does sound fun. I wanted to be in drama club club, but my mom worked. So I couldn't be. I was in drama club for a long time. Until senior year high school. I graduated. Yeah, I did cheerleading by. Exactly. Exactly. See, she's trying to hide the real root of the issue here. Well, I wanted to do drama in middle school. I was only a cheerleader for one year. Wow. It felt like a lot longer. Sure did. You're telling me. I'm still dealing with the post-traumatic stress disorder. Sell the cookie dough. Sell it. Sell it. Make the woo sound at the end of all your cheers. Jesus. Remember, you put me through so much hell. I did. I really did. It was self-prescribed though. I like I set it up. You just made it so easy. But I also played softball. Yeah, I did too. But I wasn't good. And the coach was also your coach, and he was like, Why are you not like Elena? That's because that's only 'cause I played softball since the time I was like whenever you can start T ball, that's when I started. Yeah. And I played literally every season my whole life. Yeah. Fun little facts. Fun One of us was a cheerleader. One of us was a drama nerd. Who's who? Who's who? But you can't tell. You could totally pick us up in a lineup of who was who. 100%. 100%. I don't think anyone is confusing me for a cheerleader. The cradle of Judas. Oh, where did we go? We came out of that. I think this is not gonna be a popular podcast. No, this one is a doozy and I mean doozy when I say doozy. Dooze. Hold on to your butts everybody. Hold on to your butts. I'm gonna start saying hold on to your anus. Hold on to that rect um. So this is another creation from the Spanish Inquisition. Keep my single front bum . Oh, I hope someone gets that with French bumps. I'm not gonna say where it's from. I kinda want to keep icing your front bum. Swelling continues if you do not ice . Don't say where it's from. Don't say where it's from. Don't tell me you know what that's from. I want a DM. I want one. Please, please, please. We're begging. Okay. So it continues if you two dots. So this device is a wooden pyramid that's raised high on four legs. And on top of that pyramid is a spa . It's the theme. The victim would then be stripped naked fence. Weights were attached to their ankles, and then they were hung by their arms and legs high above this device. Not interested. When the torture once to begin . They would then be lowered slowly onto the period period . You know what I wanna know actually? Cause in my mind I was just like not interested, like I'm not showing up to my torture day. How did they not run away before Oh, they would rip you out of your house. Like you weren't getting away. I wish it's not like they were like on Tuesday at two. I don't know be lowered onto a pyramid. The Middle Ages were fooked up. Maybe people were just so afraid of everything. But that's why they would never give you advanced notice. Oh. Because in the Middle Ages, they were just like bursting into your house being like, you thought an improper thought, so we're gonna stick you onto this fucking You are wrong, sir! I'm eating breakfast the cradle of Judas for you. So yeah. So they'd be lowered slowly onto this pyramid, which would cause the spike to penetrate their perennium region, which is your anus. Yob . And gravity, body weight, and the added weights would cause the person to sink onto the stake with no resistance. Oh god. Now this torture would last for hours. And usually the victim was left on this thing all fucking night. Natural instinct, like if you think about it, if you sit on something that hurts your bum, your natural instinct is to like rock back and forth to kind of like alleviate the to try to get yourself off of it kind of. Same thing with like the iron maiden like we were saying. Exactly, like your just natural instinct would take over. But doing that in this case would just rip the wound larger and sink you lower onto the stake. This is like the hemorrhoid from hell. They should have c they should have called it the hemorrhoid hole maker . They should have just called it the hemorrhoid. Yeah. It's just six flags should come out of the ride. Like they six flags should not come out of the ride. Like that I'm just kidding. Because I don't want to know the kind of people that would go on that ride. It's like dark tourists. Exactly. That's real dark tourist shit. I just gave that guy an idea for his floor. I don't even think he's probably like, no, thank you. I do not want to explore that. You. Um, so these people would often bleed to death or the infection from the spike never being fucking cleaned between torture sessions would definitely kill them. Oh, that's like dysentery, right? Dysenter y is poopy. Pooping a lot. Like you like diarrhea. Like dying. So it would cause dysentery. No, it would cause internal damage. Death. It's not gonna cause you to have diarrhea. It's gonna cause your entire abdomen to explode. Sesspool . Are you just saying words? What's it? What is it if you get like typhoid disease? Like people just like cause like their their waste was on the thing and then it got into other things. I just saw a little trail of smoke come out of your ears. Something dude is my brain has fallen. And you tried very hard to get the No, do you know what I mean though? Like you know what I'm saying. Like infection yeahah ye but like poop infection is a different kind of infection I mean if you want it to be a poop infection well it would be it's your bum but it's not this is not like this is a spike that's ripping into your internal organs. That's where the infection happens, not pooping. No, I'm not saying they're pooping. I'm saying it goes in their butt so a little bit of poop gets on it and then the poop gets in your organs. For sure. So that's where the infection comes from. For sure. And like other bodily fluids. Right. Yeah. That's all I was saying. Cesspool. But I like it. Remember when I told that story of me dropping out of college? No, that here we are . Here we sit. They're like go back to college, though. Oh shit. So that's the cradle of Jesus . The cradle of Jesus. That's the cradle of Judas. So that's the cradle of Jesus. I don't think the cradle of Jesus would be as metal as that. I don't know. I don't know, man. 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Then a half cage with an open top would be placed on their stomach with the open top facing their skin. And inside that container would be rats. Oh god. Next Who thinks of this? Not I. Like who thought of these things? Some really messed up people. Yeah. Some really messed up people. I mean you just I I guess it would kinda be easy 'cause you just think of like the worst stuff that would make so wrong. Let's do this stuff that you would do it to someone. Exactly. This is you know, serial killer . It's morbid. Very morbid. Yeah. So this was bad enough because it was just creepy. But then the cage where the rats were would be heated in some way. Oh disgusting. So the rats would desperately score scurry around and try to escape the heat. Well where's the only place they can go? Inside of your chest. It can only go down. So this these rats would violently burrow through the abdomen of the victim while they were chained to a table unable to move. Oh good right. So basically they would like tear through your intestines. And once you tear through the intestines, forget about it. You're septic. That's it. Cesspool. Yeah. You're a you don't wanna you don't hit the poop pipe kid. Huh. That's a line from a really good movie that you should watch. Called Called Pathology. I almost just said called autopsy. Called autop not called autopsy. But called Pathology. I think our listeners would like that movie. I seen tit. It's a good movie. And at one point they're doing an autopsy and they hit the intestine. And he says, You don't want to hit the kid. And it's a really good motto for life. Mm-hmm. So there's a variation on this. Sometimes you hit the poop pipe in your life. You do. You yeah. Like everybody hits some poop pipe. You can have a poop pipe week. Yeah. And it's, you know, just gotta keep on moving. Sorry, anyway. Suture that shit up and keep on moving. Yeah. So a variation on this was instead of placing the rats just directly against the flesh, they would use a telescopic tube to guide the rats inside the prisoner's body through the rectum or the vagine. Yeah. What? Yeah. They would guide the rats up the room. So they would like block one end and stick the other end that way, so the only way they were going. Was up. And rats will just be like, oh . Into the room burrow through this. I'll burrow through this hoo-ha. Yeah, they don't know the difference. They're like it's a dark hole. Did the rats die too, probably? Uh I don't think they would die right away because they're just going in there Oh my god. They'll be fine. So you you would just die with rats inside you? Pretty much. Gross. Yeah. And they would just like destroy your insides. So let's see. Where do I want to end? Because I have two like little ones and then one big one. And then a high note, like a big note. Okay, so I'll go next to the um Glasgow smile. Oh yeah. This is Scotland. Our people. Maybe we don't want to tell them that right now. Now if you've ever seen The Dark Knight, you've seen one of these. You've seen some shit. It's also known as the Cheshire Grin among the London street gangs, and originated but it originated in Glasgow, Scotland. Um basically two small incisions are made at the corner of the victim's mouth, and as the victim was beat or stabbed, muscle contractions in the face would make those wounds extend upwards towards the ears and make it this big fucking terrifying ear to ear smile. If left untreated, some people would die as a result of severe infection or ex anguination, which is just acute blood loss. Excanguination. Exanguination. Exanguination. Yes. I like that word, but it's awful. It's a good word. Exsanguination. I mean it's a bad thing, but it's a good word. Um one famous example of this is the Black Dahlia. Oh yeah. Which in it's terrifying. And some people there's actually like actors or directors or something, one of them that like I can't remember his name, but he was a victim of this in like a bar f like fight or bar break someone and he has scars up like like oh my god dark knight yeah I can't remember his name of course I didn't write that down you know what I want to do um because you said the black doll, yeah. I want to do an episode on the Cecil Hotel and like all the weird shit that's happening. Oh yeah, we'll Yeah, for sure. That's a really good one because there's all kinds of crazy connections to that place. There's so much shit. This one's a quick one. It's another one that's exactly what it sounds like. Saw torture. So they would tickle you with a feather. I saw a picture of this when I was doing the research for mine and the people just look so happy. Yeah, they're psyched. They're just like da doop da like the people doing that I mean. Yeah, they probably sung. Uh the victim is hung upside down in this case by their ankles and a saw is used to cut them from the groin all the way to the sternum. Oh sometimes the poor person would stay alive until they hid the midse midsection or even the chest in some instances. Because all the blood's at your head. Ever well they that's the thing, they were upside down, so they did that so blood would rush to your head and so that it cause when that h appens you're you're stopping blood loss. Oh. So this person would be able to live. And if you're hitting certain spots in the abdomen, you're not gonna die right away. Oh god. Yeah. So that's awful. No Another one. I have two more. One's a big one, one's a littler one. And on the big one. Drawn and quartered. Oh . Everybody's heard of this, I'm sure. It's usually reserved for high tre ason and it began in 1283 English. Good band name, High Treason. High Treason. I like it. Hello, Philadelphia. We are high treason. We are high treason. I like it. Hello, Wiscons in. I like how you weren't in Boston. You picked like two of them . You were like Philadelphia. Typho id. So in drawn and quartered, victims were often hanged to the point of near death and then taken down. They're already like well. You're still. Yeah, that's not okay. So that sucks. And then so they were taken down right before they died. And then they were tied to something and disemboweled. Oh, yeah. So really just disemboweled It's a lot. You die from that, obviously. Well then the entrails would be burned and the victims' limbs were then tied with ropes. The other end of the ropes are tied to horses, and then the horses are just like lightly encouraged to take take off and run. So boom, by limbs. The victim would then be beheaded and the head would be displayed. Wow. Extra. Now it's too vamous one of the uh victim of this was Scottish patriot Sir William Wallace. He was killed this way after leading the Scottish resistance against the English. In uh on August fifth, thirteen oh five, he was arrested near Glas gow and taken to England to be killed as a traitor to the King Edward I , even though he never sworn allegiance to him, so it's kind of so technically he couldn't be a traitor. Yeah. So whatever. Stupid. So yeah, that's drawn in quarter. Now this one we'll leave we'll leave on a high note or really low note. However you want to look at it. We're gonna end on flaying. Oh so this is real and it's not just the sigil for House Bolton on Game of Thrones. I thought you were gonna talk to me about Bobby Flay. I love Bobby Flay. So first in the flaying, your skin has to be tenderized. The torture , you know, wants a status you know how when you like peel off like a face mask and it's like all in one s sheet like one . Or like when you peel off a sunburn. Exactly. I know it's like So that's what the torturer was going for. He didn't want to have to work for this shit. He wanted satisfaction. So the victim would either be left out in the hot sun all day while their skin burned. Oh. Or they would be dipped into a vat of boiling water just until they were almost boiled alive. Just until they write Christmas. This got the skin nice and loose. And it also just like prolonged the experience. Which is always something they're looking for. Uh now when they would start to flay you . They would usually begin with the face skin, so you would have your entire face peeled. It's like a super nightmarish chemical peel. Oh and then cuts would be made around your arms, wrists, chest, neck and ankles because this would make it easier for the skin to come off in one satisfying piece . And you didn't want all kinds of little ones because you wanted to be able to display the full all the sheets and it would look like a person's skin. So going back to Australia like we did last week , um I listened once to a case where like this I'm pretty sure it was Australia and this lady did that to her husband and then hung him up in the doorway. That's fucked. Yeah. That's intense. Like he did some real shit. Yeah, he did some fuel. But like you have to be real mad. Yeah, she was pissed. But she was also like loco into cabeza . I imagine she was. That's a lot of work. Yeah. Well and then the cuts are only extended into the epidermis and stopped where the muscle begins. Oh. So that hurts more. Fuck. And they knew that back then. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And science. Now in the the ancient church of Hadstock in Essex actually had a legend of a Dane who had committed sacrilege and he was flayed for punishment. His skin was then spread out and nailed to the door of the church. Wow. As a super subtle warning to others. That's far too subtle. No, in the door needed repair later, they found pieces of human skin still under the nails. So that's it like actually happened. Ew. And then at another cathedral, uh in England, I believe, it's there's a large slab of human skin s like on display and it was of another Dane who was a Viking who tried to steal the church's bell which like why were you trying to steal the church's belly and it's like you s tried to steal the church's bell and they flayed you. Like damn. They were like, don't touch our fucking bell. Now, the reason I I'm sure all of you are wondering, like, huh, what would it feel like to be flayed? I'm not wondering that, to be honest. I'm sure everyone is wondering. Well, I thought I was hungry and I'm not anymore. I'm actually so hungry, but um of course you are. What's that picture that Vasco drew of you eating a sandwich? Oh yeah, my friend Vasco, who's an amazing artist, you and should go find him. That's a cool picture. He drew a picture of me during an autopsy eating a sandwich. It's like a picture. Pretty believable. I'll have to post that picture and tag him in it. You should. Because it's a great photo. Um so the reason this hurts like hell is that nerve endings extend really deep into the layers of your skin and that enables your sense of touch. Like it's why your fingertips