Crushes and Celebrity Infatuations

Hello Go like that. That's. That's what actors do Like before an audition, they're like, they shake it out Crazy witchady. I used to doing like vocal lessons the ground, you start down, you're like,. Do that. That just did But do it for real You gott do it with me? I'm not doing this. I don't know how to do this I'm not standing out Yeah. Anyway Okay That was fun I u took my kids to the beach for the first time this summer Okay And As I was sitting there, I realized that it's rare that I ever make a friend that is like a standalone not because of my kids I don't really make those kind of friends, which got me thinking At my age, Rpe bo. forty seven. I would imagine that's pretty common peopleeople my age. And then I was thinking why you and when I was your age Social media was very nail You know, there was a mpace or was but it was still, it was still you like you made friends by going out You made friends by Saturday morning volleyball, you know, you're invited by a mutual friend and everything was very still a connected human interaction, organically meeting people U and And I realize like for you, that's is that The case or is your generation only meet people or majority of the time meet people through Instagram or grinder or What's And first of all, do you make friends grinder. So making friends. That's such a do you have friends P s there. beside me. Yes I have friends I have a friend Yeah I feel like I know of I don't Well, I've met one of your friends. Yeah And then I know of another friend. Yeah No, I have friends. it just and new friends that, you know, but those are friends you've had friends you've had for a long time and like but making new friends, it's different. That's the only way that I used to make friends, of course, is like you're in school with them. So they're school buddies, high school, college And so young throughrough theater. I made friends when I was doing shows I did a lot of musicals so I made friends through that. As we saw your demonstration warm up Yeah. so made friends that way. There's been like the occasional like kindind of friend That kind of goes into more of an acquaintance that you meet through They maybe dating, right through dating apps or something like that, but I would say it's just different Like We are so connected through social media I always bring it back to the pandemic and I hate to be that person, but it It really was such an important like life altering thing where a lot of people got scared and isolated and kind of retreated into themselves And I know a lot of people in my generation feel that way So I think it's just harder for people to feel comfortable going out and then those spaces were kind of taken up. L like it's not like There's so many options. I mean, now they're coming back more, but options for hobbies. So you're right? Like in person, like if I could go see a fucking poster for something, a sign up for a songwriting class with people, or if I could go do a club or go to something like that, like I would totally and I think that's I'm sure a good way to make friends is like like minded people, right? A lot of people my age, I feel like are so chronically online and they have online friends A lot of gay guys have a lot of gay online friends But when it comes to the ro'out a friend. That's I mean. But in the real world, they're kind of paralyzed. There's like a certain level that I'm not like like I can be for sure. Like I'm shy, whatever But my friends who know me know that when I'm out, like I'm out. like I don't out of my phone out in person like I will be the first to be the obnoxious annoying one to go up to random people and chat with them. and see what they're doing. at the fair, I was kind of being obnoxious because I wanted to go talk to people because there were so many rules and everyone was on their phone and I was a little buzz. I was like, let's just go, let's go, let's go talk to people. Let let's go. Rouse some people up. I don't know. But not everyone's like that. I think a lot of people are so focused on themselves, but not only that People are really worried about how they're perceived. And I'm guilty of that too But I think that holds people back. It's like, oh, if I go, this person looks really cool and I want to meet them. But what if they don't like me or they just get like, there's like we police ourselves so much. There's like this part of your brain that you have to turn off. That's a whole conversation there, right? But it's like we know I have this like police in my head that's like, don't do that. This could be the outcome. Why would you do that?' it's like just shut up, anything can happen But there's a lot of fear behind it. I think people are like really nervous about being perceived, about being seen, being looked at, whatever They can't just make that step. In theater it was easy because you're in a show with people and you see ' them all the time. So you're like, hey, what's up In school, you see people, but Its like I should get better. and I only do that maybe when there's alcohol involved and that sucks, right? We should be able to like I have a couple drinks at her club. she's just cute cute girl that's like you' having fun with her friends? you're like, hey girly, like wasas up, like let's chat orr when I bummed a cigarette off somebody on my birthday, like Chat with people that way, I mean You just have to fuckking do it though. But the people that stick, that's the harder part. It's like you can talk to people, but you're having to put yourself out there physically. Yeah. you had to leave your house, you have to put yourself in scenarios whereher it's like I mean, going out to the bar, going to a show, going bowling, going to the the local dive. like you got to put yourselfuff out there. And it's just how many people are willing to meet you there though. How many friends have you made? via Instagram or anything like that Like, but that became like, became genuine friends. It's so hard, right? Becauseuse I think's one thing I talk to people in my own life about like who maybe disagrees me that's fine P people are very close to me they'll like oh my friend this, friend, because I used to say it the time. Id like that's my friend. This is my friend. this is my friend But then I like I really kind of hone that in and I don't say that anymore And I'd be like people butons or that's I'll say it to like Austin and maybe it makes me sound mean. And I'm like, are they really your friend? You've never hung out with them one on one. L you don't know their middle name. You don't know anything about them. you don't do anything. but are they your friend? And there's so many people that are like that. I think it's nice to have friends, But to me, I'm like more or less, we probably have a significant amount of acquaintances in our life. But is it all relative to whoever it is, like, sayy You know Austin has friends that you don't view are his friends because He hasn't hung out with them one on one. doeses that say more about what he values as a friend or what he considers to be a friend It's a loose word It could be a loose word. it could be nice.ike sometimes's nice like, youreet like this is my friend. like it's an easier way to introduce someone to you yourre out, right? First of all, can I be myself authentically around you? Like fully myself, which is going to be some dark humor, some fucked up jokes. beinging stupid, like but really feeling comfortable enough to do that around you without feeling judged And also just like knowing that It's met both ways too to me is the biggest thing. L I will I refuse at this point in my life to have anybody in my life that's not going to meet me halfway. And I get the friendship sometimes it's a big teeter. Like sometimes you a little bit more. But I mean like it has to have an ebb and float. Like you cannot everyone's trying to reach and hang out with you or vice versa,. I'm like, you know, so it's It gott to be certain, but it just knowing you just but you kind of know. I just feel like there's people in your life that you just You just know like Maybe it's chemistry, maybe it's whatever I don you know' describe it. You just kind of know like when you flow well with somebody and it works out well. and there's definitely people in my life that are like that I don't hang out with every day every month, every year, even. I have a couple really Dear friends that we pick up like nothing's ever changed, you know? A year later, six months, we don't talk. and then we I'll pick up the phone call and it's like, how are you? Like I love you. I miss you So I think it just comes down to somebody that you can feel safe and feel yourself around. not be judg. Yeah. And if you're going to be judged it's not being judged, it's being like mentored, but like It just good advice. Like people just can see you without judging you or holding you to some weird standards To me, also the biggest mark of a friend is expectations, but there's a lot of weird expectations. I've had some friends right? just people expect you to be a certain way expect you to talk to them a certain amount, like show up for them in a way that you don't that's just not you. I've had friends that have got really upset. It's like, o I texted you and you didn't text me back like for two days. and orr I I'm not the only one. It's like That doesn't mean anything to me. Like It doesn't mean I don't I feel any other type of way. It's like good friend is just is there A friend is there without expecting anything else from me. But rememember two ways Yeah What about it Well, my point is is if you don't Text them back for Due days You're so salty. You were the one Noind kn. You were the one I'm not even I'm not bringing the look in your eyes. I see the fucking look in your eyes. I'm not even that's not my point. My point is is like you're That approach is basically being like, I'm going to put you on the back burner and if you're my friend, you're still gonna be. That's not what I meant at all. But my point is is your friend on the other side could perceive it that way But I think if they would know me you can't ghost them and go to the bars right down the street from their house and not invite them. Well, this said friend, I never ghosted this friend In fact, I messaged this friend, this friend ghosted me So it's interesting how Maybe maybe that friend was building a chicken coop that you didn't help finish. Well this friend offered'm gets now. That's okay because that friend has a daughter who ended up helping him. So it's fine I've only ever made one friend In recent times. in my, you know, the last I would say like last five years off of social media. Yeah. Aren't you curious who that friend is? No No clue, I couldn't imagined who how fuck they wouldd be. What did you throw at me? ooger That's not. U and it's nice like I'm not diminishing the importance of people that are kind of around. L I do really appreciate people that I'm friends with on the internet that I may have not met in real life. but have like C and all my posts, you know, respond to me to me about whatever, like relate to music, relate to things. like There is importance there for sure. It's not like, oh, fuck you guys.'s just I don't know you that well. I'm acquainted. That's why I say acquaintance is not a bad word. Like I think people are maybe more offended to be like oh, I' an acquaint. Not a bad thing. We've been acquainted. We know each other But I don't know you deep down. It's just how people fit into your life too. And sometimes you like you have friends but they're busier lifestyle and it just doesn't line up that way. So I get how people fit your life I guess like it comes to my mind more so recently because I feel like I'm in a transition phase of my life Where's I'm already understanding The whole emptiness syndrome parents go through when their kids leave, you know, Not that my kids are anywhere near leaving, but I already You know, this time and I feel like you've said it a handful of times to me like this Age and kids' lives are such a transition transitional age And I see that and I guess I'm thrust into the direction of Get your shit together Like reconnect. Refocus. ye. You know, I can't keep chasing him around, trying to do everything for him. And it's a good which is my instinct. It's a good, it is an instin, but it's also like a I' again, speaking to somebody who doesn't know kids, so I just tell me go fuck myself. But I feel like I've noticed, fuck yourself Look you've know you've noticed go ahead. I've noticed just Plenty of people once once their children leave whether it's friends I've had or family friends, family friends, whatever that they're so focused on that they there's nothing really in their own life that they're working on. when that goes away that they want to like, I'm already feeling that. I feel empty sometimes It's not like not having shit to do. I have know tons of shit to do. It's feeling like It's like my kids are my passion so much. My family is my passion so much. And now that that's kind of like, it's evolving and growing. I don't have anything that I'm evolving and growing in. I mean, this podcast has certainly helped reallyally helped I think it's been more therapeutic than I realized right now in the moment I think that six months from now, I might rewatch an episode or something and think, like I had that revelation when Matt and I were doing our Matt blue vlogs back in the day, he actually just came to me the other day and said he watched our our first home when we sold it we made a vlog about, you know, all the memories we had and everything in it and he watched it and it was like, oh, it's actually kind of emotional watching it again But I feel like I'll probably have those moments. Yeah when we watch old Yeah episodes here, but I already feel that Eolving like you said, it'sol evol, which is a good word, I think. It's like instead of looking like you're growing kids are growing up and they' going this way. and it's not that, it's like I think the best parents also have such a strong sense of themselves. ' it feeds each other, right? Like when you're so sure of who you are and what you want to do and that you have a full Life You know as well That just shows that you're like you're happy, you're confident, you're comfortable. you're doing things you enjoy I feel like kids pick up on that too. Like kids would be like, wow, like my dad has a fucking dope life. My dad's having fun.'s like he's doing things like that I think would also come back and your kids would appreciate that. Yeah, I hope so. that is something I stress about all the time. You know, I don't want my kids to I don't know, I just worry about it. It's all just like a cluster of just thoughts. Yeah But I think a lott and you shouldn't worry about. I wouldn't think should worryize that as an example being an example because I think being a different example of what's out in the world is also a great thing. Yeah. It's like, why would why would these kids need to see this exact same lifestyle that their friends and everyone around them has. It shows that there are so many outlets of a person you can become. You can become a content creator. you can be a home renovator You can do literally anything. like as long as you are passionate, but you're working towards it and you're making money, you're suriving. and you know chances are they're already going to want to do their own thing. Most people know to fairly you know, especially high school, they have an idea of the stuff they like that's different than yours, but I think it's good and admirable for them to see that whatever it is you do you enjoy doing I think I would say that there's more power behind that than seeing a Your parent that's like, oh, fucking miserable. I'm go back packing my bag. I'm going back to his fucking job. I hate like You know, that' that's how was when I worked at Costco. It's a hard one. It's like I think at the end of the day that it's protecting kids is so important But sometimes I wonder if people can get really lost in that and not realize how That alone, kids pick up on more than just wanting to see their family happ. Yeah unhappiness Yeah Because energy is a real thing. Even if you don't talk about it or vocalize it, I feel like kids are just And I' now have kids when I was a preschool teher they even knew. So a kid three and a half years. There was no better For being a kid, I picked up on engy all the time I picked up on the smell of alcohol's so pretty much told me. I was like, something's up No, that's fucked up, but you can pick up what you can pick up on it Kids are really intuitive. It's a good discussion. It's a interesting discussion. Yeah. There's something I don't know about. and I would also hope that when I make comments, you if I saying something that's like, don't get it, you don't fuckget it. would tell me be like, you're not a parent, you don't understand that. But No know, I think that I think one of the reasons that We get along so well, I think that you you're wiser than your years. I think that you takeake that. Well, and I also think that you had a very Eperience rich childhood I don't really feel like you say anything when it comes to parenting anyways that I think is outlandish. likeike that's not how it fucking goes You know? But other things I say are pretty outlandish, apparently. I mean, you do say some pretty ridiculous things. Do I know I probably do I'm sure you have, but You have to or I probably wouldn't be friends with you That's the right answer. That's what I want to he I have been Really curious because he ghosted me for over twenty four hours, went to our local dive the fair which you did invite me to that it wasn't worth that. You said it's lame. It's like a rite of passage. passaged it. Okay, but when you got to go, I feel like it's like one of the Last American things That was all there was to do growing The l American thing. L an old school like fair summer vibe, like a fair. I mean for me growing up Arizona, that's all I had all I look forward to every year. What was it Maricopa? What was your county fair that you went to What was your county? It was in Cottonwood? So it was like Yavai County I guess. Okay I don't know what the f something, but it was Ied to say like when you werere kid everything was better, but I would say that fair was significantly better in Arizona. I was it was I don't have any nostalgia with this fair And it was a It's different to be there. likeike I was definitely You know, you see like the zipper You see like the gravitron, like you see those rides that A lot of like for my generation people grew up on It was kind of fun. It brought back like a nice feeling and just remembering what it was like to run around and It kind of hit me weird just J being around it, right? Throwing me back to what it was like to be a kid. They set them up so quickly, right? Yeah, That's why I don't trust them. Like they had some of those really scary rides. I didn't go any of those This one on like the swing one, which freaked me out actually, because it was like would up re pretty high. I'm used to like this swing that a little bit But like the swings and it takes you Are they single swings or you're sitting with Doubleat out with my sister Wishing on the outside or the inside her on the outside. So you smashed her especially because it does that's not how it works, right? does move you a little bit. It was yeah, freaked out a little bit more to be honest. L, normally can handle that kind of stuff, but It reminded me of when I was probably around when I first came out about eleven years old at the Arizona whatever the state fair was I can you remember. And My group of friends at the time, these girls, Ttal bitches. And this one older guy It was kind of cute. Like he was like maybe fifteen, sixteen, right? I was like eleven I like I had such a crush on this dude And they all thought it would be fun to be like, let's Let's put them together. Like let's And so he like, he's like, let's go on the ferris wheel together and I was like, Oh, that's funy And you bought me a soda or whatever. And he's like we can share it on the ferris wheel. And then we got up to the ferris wheel and I was all excited, never like talk to a guy really or anything like that And then they were all laaughing because he was like L I'm not gay, fucky, you're just fucking with me Bically like one of my first like bully. Re bully moments for my own friend group. Are you serious? It stuck with me. sense. Because my friends went to the fair with me and they were like laughing about it after. and I was like, I don't know what's funny about it, but And I put out a brave face about it, but I was like It was so yeah that's a scar. pretretend to like you and then you're like, I'm like yeahaha Did you relve that moment Yesterday? Yeah, kind of, because my little sister was just talking about it. My m little sister was funny though. it's like her generation, like she's twenty I mean, I'm twenty seven. we're not that different, It is like for her, she kept being like Everything she'd say. She's like, this is so twenty sixteen. I'm like, What affair is twenty sixteen. Like it was cute, but the way she's just like A fair Like when I brought up to like, you want to go to the fair? She's like a fair What do you what's the like, what? I'm like, you know what a fair is Katie Hele place where people go and ride rides. It was just really crowded which I expected. And I do like that. L I normally get overwhelmed by a bunch of people. and you went on a Thursday Wednesday, Wednesday. Yeah. And it was still that crowded. So crowded. like just so fucking crowded so busy, but really like It was neat to be around people. I had to like let it go. There's so many people and normally, especially after COVID, my body's like Get angry, likeike get angry, get annoyed, like complain. And I all I wanted to do was complain until I was like, you know what? No Everywhere we're here to be around people and like people are gonna to bump into me, like it's gonna to happen. Was there aggressive people or everyone was just was because you' didn't drink at the fair? No That also annoyed me. Like you could go buy your food and be stuck to the food area and there's like these huge signcience and people's whole job was to be like, you cannot bring alcohol into the other part of the, even th it was all connected, you wouldn't have known the difference. L you couldn't bring your drinks around the rides even. So That was kind of weird I guess what I mean, we weren't really drinking because we were with the kids, but ye, you would think that at the fair Well people get sloppy, you know, pecially o, but what's worse getting drun What's worse being sloppy where she's like, you can't bring your drink over here because you're gonna get sloppy or what's best. I'm going to chug my fucking IPA right now and then I'm going to be like vomiting drunk walking over to that side right after. She's like, I chug it. So I'm going gonna chug it and I did. And I'm like, now I'm going to shited the side I could have sipped it and been polite. I guess you just gota I bro. It was fun. It was good to be around people It was kind of fun to see like, of course, like, Younger people like, yeah, like they're having fun, they're showing off. Like they're doing their thing. I get that. But I feel like there's a lot of insecurity Maybe just throwing yourself out into that amount of people, I don't know. I've been away from Large groups for. What do you mean insecurity?'s like overcompensating, maybe not insecurity. You get a lot of overcompensation. But then there's like just so Yeah, like so much of that, so much of that T me the weirdest part about it I was just telling on the drive a little bit was like the Going to the urninals was pretty surprising to me. I just feel like stuff has changed so quickly. growing up, I remember having no problem going to a urinal For's people next to you, it's like not preferred. especially when there's no dividers, like you go like you just kind of you're doing your own thing,'reissing you'reaving. but there'd be like a line all the way out the door everyvery single time I go to the bathroom because the men were too afraid to pee next to each other. And they're all grownen. I get if you have like a kid and you don't want your kid the bathom other people. likeike that's different. but there' like a full ass line of just all grown men. and all of them were waiting for like there's five open urinals, and they're waiting for the furthest to the left so they could go to the corner And like all their backs and shoulders were like turned just close to it. They all were like cowering into the corner. So I felt like I was a fucking weirdo for walking in and using the bathroom but I was like, I I had a fucking piss. I'm like, I'm notaiting in line because you guys are too scared I'm gonna go and I cut them all, and no one cared because they didn't want to go to those middle urinals. They were they were just waiting for all waiting for that one. Well, then fucking watch. I had a pece so bad every time, I'm like, I'm going I don't know. I don't trust anybody. I wouldn't be I don't think I'd know if I would be comfortable being in an open space like that. mean Gants, I didn't see what you're talking about, but You know, people can have a a device on their wrist and be filming you. and I've scrolled across those videos. should you get none your feed It's not in a feed, it's just when you're surfing. sururfing what and pretending like you don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know is n' I would never know You are a podcaster now People do you're going to start getting recognized. You better start watching yourself at the journal because they're going to be like, look it Here's Joffee pops ping in a urnal. I'd be like, inag musky trunks if you can post that shit. Put it out LPSDG and then let's get those motherfuckers riiled up again. The people. I'm just trying I got' be like mad at me Mad in general, right? Well, they're mad if you have muscles. They get mad if they have muscles It was like I the comment, the comment was like The only thing you guys are like forride Month, the only thing you guys are proud of is yourselves and I'm like, is that an insult to be proud of myself? Yeah There's a definitely a I'm proud of myself. I fuckking work hard I see, I can't be the only one bitching about things because then it's going to get on the internet. P bad about me. So let me bit But you know what I want to bitch about, so you start What What you want to be We talked about it in the car, right? So Oh, are you not already bitching about it? I am, so go, you take over. just take over. Iignnore me I really didn't have anything to bitch about I will, no doubt, but This topic of Yourals. No urinal talk is over. That was. What we bitching about? I mean, we can keep talking about urines if you want. I love a ural. I will Well you did mention a trough too and there are troughs in West Hollywood. your' what is it your' A BWC BWC? Well, that took you minutute I was ever you Because I feel like you can't say BBC anymore. I feel like people get upset about. I'm also not black. so I know, but that's why I was like what is it is a it's not a BBL It's not a WBC It could be a WBC. What WBC? White big cock Inead of a big white, yeah, but I' never heard. Neither did I, but my point is is I wanted to make sure I said it right You made sure. Point is if you want to show it off, you'll get your chance tonight. But we had to go to the motherload, which you you don't like the motherload so. But we're going there tonight. We're gonna We go wherever. We're gonna wash Oh wait, no it's live. I'm like, donon't tell them where we're going. Do not go to the motherlad tonight at eleven. I'm more curious about your toxic masculinity vibe that you're going for with the urinals though because Is that where you're gettings toxic masculinity to me, right? talk. I'm sorry, Fg Frag. I just feel like it's like the same kind of people that are like big talks. against gay people, big same kind of people like they big man are like the first to be like like But they're afraid that the gay dudes are going to come them at the urnal here. you said the wor. You said the hard R I'm just in the hard R k. That's not the hard R Ban the R word. That's not the R word. No, I know. But you know, pian are weird about saying that online Are they? Yeah They say grape, they just say grape or they say something. I don't I don't know if it's okay that. I don't know if its because people aren't comfortable with the word, or if it's because it's like an actual like thing that like will pick up like the internet will pick up could be. could be I think people might do it so that your videos don't. because they also say corn Exactly there's another one, but yeah, I know what you're talking about. Okay, so I'll bleep that. Bleep it But you know what I'm talking about? The straight des are worried about Somebody looking at them Meanwhile, though, they are all cowering And I'm in the middle peeing and every fucking m're theay de who's gonna to look know, but every motherfucker that was over there, I'd be peeing. and they would like turn around when they would walk away and I could swear the amount of people that were like kind of just like looking at me because they're like, that's BWC But I'm like you'reing hiding, you're looking at other people. I'm just minding my business. People are just scared more in general. Yeah. I think it's just everything is more fearful. But I get it me too, like going to a fair kind of off the weeds, but like going to a fair would have been nothing to me five six years ago. But then I get like isolated. you spend that much time at home, you spend less time with people andew got out into like real world with a bunch of people and like I'm thinking about everything. I'm afraid to touch. whereere you how to touch things was drunk But Ied I didn't want to touch anything. I'd get on rides and I'm like, youw ew everything's gross. the people touched like the Ha house thing and it was just all these like little rubber tassels that were just like smacking you in the face. And I was like every person that has gone through here's face has touched this now it's touching my mind. I would never think of that Now it that is like I was born thinking about that. No I't I didn't think about that probably last until COVID Not because I was afraid of COVD but I think just like, well, it definitely you And I feel like I'm little OCD so I've gotten a little bit It's gotta you let go that fear and it's good. It wass like, you don, let go. like. So you just let those tassels slap you in the face? Well, no, I didn't. I mean I had my hands out. go like other things. I was like, I'll on the slide, likeike I'll go on the rides. and yeah, you know, if I got to live and it' wash up afterwards, But yeah, fair down a bunch ofketia, and vitamin C after Well, thatention is the opposite now.ike you need those to build the immunity. like you need to be exposed to it. But that's not what we're talking about What are we talking about? The people that message and react to me and get mad at us and be like, especially when we said we like thicker guys. when we're attacted that, they're like, Well that always going to go they're like you can't like that. You can't you don', you're lying. You're just saying that like you have muscle or whatever. if you have muscles, like this is weird like I'm not invalidating people because of the size or the shape of their body. But I see time and time again, people having no problem being like This person's healthy, they take care of their body, they work out, they eat healthy and they love to be like, eating disorder babes. Like they see things in com. He's anating disorder or he's a muscle head, or he's a fight, but they' have no problem being like rude and talking shit. It's totally accepted too online. But then the second somebody is like confident in their body, strong, they work out, they eat healthy It's like fair game to talk shit about them. I don't it's just interesting to me spend a lot of time on comments like that, but I know what you're saying. I don't even think like online aside, I think it's whether they're muscular or tone or whatever. if you were to compleliment somebody's body that was in shape It would be perceived as a compliment. Yeah. If you were to compliment somebody's body who was overweight or maybe had a beer belly or something genuinely because you liked it or thought it was attractive or looked good on them. How would that be perceived? I feel like people don't do that. Yeah, sarcastic. I I do it in my head all the time when I see A do that's A little bit You know, Thicker It think it's unattractive necessarily, but I think they just I don't fucking care Fuck all y'all, if you have a problem. I can't finish my slot. You don't even need to. Fuck you if you don't like either one Fuck you for you fuck you either. And We spend our time and energy on the most meaningless We do they like, why are you commenting on the fact that I have worked hard? I go to the gym, I eat healthy. I am clloser to fifty than I am to forty five I have two kids that I want to stay alive for You know, like why why why comment on something like that about somebody especially on a Pide video. likeike it goes to show like because we were shirtless in the beginning of that video the guy probably watched a few seconds of it. And of course,m he's overweight so I don't know if it was like him just or not, I don't know. It's not for me to decide. but the fact that he saw a few seconds, sorry take up. And then immediately was like the only thing these guys are like he was like, this is so cringy. The the only thing these guys are proud of are their bodies and it's the fact that it is cringy is why we did it. Of course. you think we care. I don't really care. of shit. And, I got to tell you, when I sat down and I loaded that photage image popped up. I was like, oh, fuck, why? I knew I was going to have that reaction to it. Yeah. So it's not even like we see ourselves in thinkink we're all the shit. becausecause I don't see that . And the reason I think that I'm motivated to continue working even you know, through everything that goes on in daily life is because I'm not at a place where I feel like, oh, I'm super proud about the way I feel and I feel good always more more, more more more because it's here and his comments like that and just like a cycle of toxic shit that our society puts on our shoulders that You know, what's important is that you're happy. Yeah. And by commenting something like that to us Shez says that you're not happy. Yeah Of course. It says more about them than it does us. It does. It's like you take it so seriously and it's like that you think that we're taking ourselves seriously, but also like I was nice back and I was just like, Why is that an insulting thing to say that we're proud of ourselves. I am proud of myself Also we'll take it as a compliment. Thank you for saying that I'm a muscle gay becauseuse by no means I'm a muscle gay. I am in better shape than I've been in before. But like let's be real. the guys that take themselves seriously, we all have Instagram, we have TikTok, we all go in there and it is like basically naked men, fucking steroid ripped. ye. every real I mean,be because it's my algorithm and I'm a gay guy, but it's like a go out for that specifically. It just gives me that all the time. But like guys, I'm constantly phing not interested. underweel friends all right. Yeah. it's those people really take themselves seriously and And I'm going to take it as a compliment and be like, you know what, thank you. But the other part of it I think is just the pride thing. So it's like We should be proud. So you're like, oh, the only thing they're proud of is themselves, not. gay pride. And if you watch the whole episode it is talking about like what we're proud of. But you know what I am proud of myself. and why is that a weird thing? The same way that we've been told and it's not been told, we should respect everyone around us of when there's somebody who's overweight or there's somebody that's different It's celebrated because it's we're supposed to be proud of you're supposed to be proud of yourself, body positivity I'm going to jump in here. I'm going to change the subject lease please. What is the riskiest place you've ever hooked up with somebody Well, that's a question. I mean Like risky in what sense though, like safety or like legal risky as in Uh, well What do you mean? safety L like safety is hanging from the Empire State Building? No, not like that, but like as in getting caught. Okay, we' getting caught would be like a king lot, right L in a car in a parking lot Like a busy parking lot risque. I feel like that's That's about it. I'm pretty sure I was walking with you through a shopping center where there was like a pizza jooy in a coffee house or something, and you told me like I hooked up with somebody right there once And it was like in the middle of a bunch of businesses Was that you Or was that my other friend Joffrey? I'm just curious. This was your other girlfriend Joffrey? I don't think so. I think it was you But that's risker than a car yeah, probably. Yeah. Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. there's so many options to choose from. He does it Okay. Well I just when you say risky because like the only there's one incident like what's risky? was risky to me Well, Of course was like meeting up with a guy in Grinder at night when I was in high school Okay. walking couple miles to like his family's home. And I'd never I'd know this guy and he was a fucking weirdo and that was risky because he locked me in his house. He locked his door and he was a fucking weirdo Yeah, that's when I learned real quick what Grinder was about. I mean, I'd been on Grinder, but that's a that moment where I was like, oh like Let's like reality check, likeike I am in a stranger's house. Like this is internet, stranger danger. and this is how people die. For sure how people die. and I had to be polite and reason with him and it was one of those situations where I was like sling myself out of this window? No it was like if I like I would have to do that and I was like, let's go like I was trying to be nice, but let's go a walk. like and I was trying to like be nice and try to like rub them up a little bit to like I didn't, I just didn't know A that's scary. like is that's a different kind of risky than I was going for, but that's certainlyisk.yway so that's there. So's what I mean like that's I mean like risk vers legal L like leg risk. I'm like, okay if you get caught fucking around a parking lot or something like that could But that's pretty about you Yeah Yeahah's you're on the list Yeah, they're on the sex offenders list. Boom, whichich is so fucked up because they don't tell There's not information why a lot of times. Yeah. You're just on the list Ping in public. You're on the list. You've heard that. Like people are like pissing in the parket at like two in the morning. like no one's around. It's night and You get caught by the wrong cop That's so fucked up. That's wrong I mean Putem on a fucking public pissing list. fine, public pissing. A sexual predator? No, no. That's not being a sexual predator. All right, it's your turn Um Well, I know you'll be disappointed, but I don't really have much. I did I think The closest thing would be and you kind of ruined it because it was in the back of a car. It was right outside of Fubar Back in the day Foo bar F bar, what's foo bar It was a fucked up beyond all recognition. It was the name of the bar. I used to be there like It wasn't really a barback, I was more like a handyman before my Music days It was like one of those weird od jobs I had Uh, in the And yeah, I I you you I did it in the back of a car exc I was trying to choose my words, like how descriptive did I want to be, but you know, in your early twenties you do stupid shit and you were taking it Oh's giving it, broke. Listen, watermelon bottom. Watermelon bottom. Best comment we've had.ina bottom. You love to say it. W projecting It's refreshing. Yeah. Sure H keep the questions com Stretch. All right. You want another question? figure out how we're gonna tie this up to the same conversation Does size matter Oh I don't know if it really matters. I think it comes down to like what you prefer. I guess it It does a little like If I get a micro penis, I'm not going to be doing that I'm not happy about that. I need some substance. so maybe size isn't as like length isn't as important as like girth to me I think Earth is good because you could have like a pencil that you don't want like a long and skinny. shorter and fat's okay. I feel like I can handle that, you know So if you're not a bottom, Why does the size of something that you're not going to sit on It just has to be pretty too. That's like the other part. that water' pretty I agree with pretty Pretty and like proportionate and like look looks good. I'm not saying I'm a size queen I think that is more about who it's attached to Do you currently have a crush? Innocent crush I've had the same crush for like three years guy that works at Albertson's across the street from my apart from W. He's so cute. know he is like Okay, he is so cute. Okay. What's his name? I can't say his name He's very cute. He's just like kind of that Uh esion halfway Are you kind of like Um, I know just dark black hair ite arms Just like fucking like waist and just like big arms and a big chest and he's just he's so cute, but he's also just like really sweet. Yeah. He goes out of his way to to say hi every time we're in there and like I'm always like I hold out a little bit of hope. Every time I see him, I'm like, maybe. Maybe maybe. You check the grinder? No, he's not on very time. see someone with arm tattoos that look like it and I'm like Is it him? Is it finally him No no, I have to accept it who is your first crush first crush the together But you can rememberah. When I said in that one episode where I was talking about when I was like a kid, but like it's like an adult, as a fully realized crush Um Jack Jack, I love Jack and How we Jack sees this Yeah. Jack is like like a lifetime. likeike I love him. He's so sweet. He's angel No, I had such a crush. He worked it So it's Wh wholele Foods now, but you work at a place calledew Frontiers. And I was right when I came out, I was about like ten eleven. And he's this cute ginger boy that work the cash register at the store and I had such a crush on him Every time I'd see him I'd just blush and my mom would always make sure we went through like his line because she knew I liked him. And And then I made Facebook as a kid and I added him on Facebook. He u You accept it and he was like, Hey, it's a funn to you here. Andike I think you just looked at me like this like adorable little kid that like had had a crash. But I sent him like a long like love letter. Por guy, didn' get him arrested I was gonna probably get him arrested I know. I said a long level, and he's like, that's so sweet. You know, you're so young, It's adorable, you know? I'm so glad you've something sweet I thinks about like realizing who I am he was just like I grew up And then I the years went on and I got older and became an adult. We'd hang out and be.ere you actually hung out? No, he's like my friend's a friend. Yeahah yeah. he's a really good guy. This is years later Did you ever that's for did Okay, but to be fair, was like by the time I finally finally happened, I was like, I felt bad because I was like I love you, but like I feel like you're like like a bro. you feel like my brother Not that I want to fuck my brother. that's not what I'm saying But you know, I'm going to talk myself into some deep shit this e. I know, I'm loveving it. I' just you notice I'm just letting you do it? I don't. I can't handle this right now. This is too He didn't sleep very well. I didn't. What about you You know, there's I don't know. there's some guys at the gym that I'll see And I'm like, o, he' That's a sexy dude. Yeah I like it might be onond the crushed Fase I guess I you know, like sometimes like Matt and I will Talk about a handsome guy or something But it's notith like I don't obsess over anyone in that like crushing way, you know what I mean? No I don't jreamment with that which kind of sack is it's fun. It's fun to have a crush. It's just a different But it' it is fun, but then I wonder like the times I was really crushing on people I was probablyro my most insecure too, and I really would go all in. Like when I liked somebody or I had feelings for someone, I was like, Obs Obsessive for sure. L not ced be like I was in a fight st Yeahah it was very obsessive and like unhealthy way of just But I think that comes from a place of like also wanting that validation. So it's like, I put all this energy. I really like this person. so I would love for that to be return to me, and it's like how much of that is really enjoying that person or how much is it just needing to be recognized? And I mean, like the same with like Alberts's boy, like, it's not I think about it. When I'm at the store, I'm like, oh Yeahah, Well, it's funing to flirt. Yeah, o my gosh, yeah Pings It's like one of the life's simple. You're kind of you a flirt too. I love I was surrounded by people I don't, but I don't Yeah Who else who do learns Matt. Oh, well, fl, but also gay men it's just like in our nature, but I flirt with that like women I flirt with women. so does he? You flirts with old ladies. you know I love the old ladies. I M She's imaginine her seeing this. seen her in a while speaking of crushes Be I was thinking what initially got me thinking about it was gym crushes. Yeah. like because you know, you see the same people at the gym all the time and they're like a handful of dudes that like kind of will eye you and you're like, arere you looking at me? or you just like going to come up and compliment which I don't get anymore. I don't get compliments on my triceps anymore You know, for a minute there, I was always getting compliments getting awome. Yeah And I thought that was like Your way because I also read this article about like how do you know if somebody likes you at the gym And the number one way was like pulling up your shirt The guys would like dry them, you know I, I don't know if that's whyy would you lift up your shirt I could dry the sweat off myace. Why not just go grross my eyes? Be I usually have like a low tank top and I'm just like, it's easier to just pull that up Eespecially the Stepmaster whatever Uh fucking boring today. You know what? Next time we're going to cancel our podcast if you don't sleep. But I know how you feel Yes, because I never sleep. I only feel rested right now because I took an ambium because we're going out tonight So that's some fun. Let's share that. We're going to way ho again. Round two for Joffrey's birthday you U notot to Get off in the whees, but do you want to stay for the record what your actual name is Are you okay with everyone thinking your name is Joffrey Because I call you Joffrey because you're Joffrey to me. Oh ye Yeah, I guess you're right because people will spell it out but like I don't know if they know That it's Jeffrey. Yeah Jeffrey. It is Jeffrey. Jeffrey. If if you're close to me, call me joff for you But if you're not just call me Jeffrey. Who else calls you Jeffrey You mean your kids Uh Well, that kind of sometimes I what does he call you? I like I don't I like it. It does not bother me would I would have told yourself share that. think beces the nickname comes from a place of like You know, it's a special thing. so I appreciate something like that. Joffy Popps. Jeffrey Yeahah, it's Jeffrey.. An but Jeff And only I can call myself Jeff. I like when you use I can always tell if you use Jeff, I can always gauge So like, what the deal? Like like when we were in Hollywood and somebody came up to you and you're like, Jeff, I was like I was like, Got it. It's on my radar. I'm watching. Yeah. I I do So if he introduces himself to you as Jeff, fuck off And if I introduce myself as Jay No You're not getting the collab. Where was I going with that though? It is a pretty nonsensical episode, but it's okay. That's okay. Oh, we're going to Whel. Whale. No, it's all going to tie together because we're going to have one big thing we talk about and I'll shift it around if we have to L listen, I thought you were in a size queen Did I say that And this is where we stalled, right? Johnffrey's birthday was the third. And it's taken us a long time, but tonight we are going to party. But I think this's not like, We really commit to Like let's give the Abbey a real chance. I feel like we could have fun there. It just depends on what the music is. Okay, hereere's my thought about the places like the Abbey though. Okay. whyy and maybe I'm wrong. I don't live here. so y'all can correct me. I may just completely be missing it. There's a lot of artists that I listen to that I feel like are very up and coming don't have a whole lot of followers, but do have a pretty good following. I'd say like Miss Madeeline, for example, I really like her and Austin got me into Miss Madeeline or RSCTK from those biggest N not American. Let's see. I mean, Chase icon,.'s Broookke Candy who's like a little bigger. What's a name dropping? What's the? These people I really like. I'm just naming names so that the audience understands whether like where they're at, right? It's not like fucking Dmi Lvato or ice out the fair, by the way, But it's not these these big names But I feel like People that were up and coming used to really always be pushed in the clubs and have performances. But every single time I go to a club, I never it is I never see anyone that's not a drag queen or which I love the dvequt, that's no shade. but or somebody that's like had a TikTok viral moment I don't I want to see more performers that are like maybe only have a couple of thousand followers but have some pre actually live in and flh like live and flh performing. because there's plenty out there making club songs, like plenty. And I want to know why We're not supporting the community in that way. Like I would much rather go see like Mel forever who's like this transransgender but we Okaykay, can I ask us do this though? Yeah How many times have you been to the Aby an Abb about twice, I guess, and one time it was dancing So how do you know that they don't? Becauseuse I Google these things though a lot. becauseuse I would go. I would make the drive. I just feel like you would support the community that way is what I'm thinking, right?iken wouldn't they make so much money at these clubs Wouldn't they pay somebody probablyably not that much. I don't even think that you would need to be paying No because it's such to have. Yes. what I mean? I'm like, how fun would that be to have multiple not every weekend have some fucking D't pass music. Let's get a motor on and say, what the fuck Yeah, I don't have an answer to that other than I will go with Madonna's quote Actually, I can't really quote it because I don't really remember word for word, but she said something like If your dance floor is empty, you're playing the wrong music People want to be out, peoplee wantna be seen People want to get drinks because also gay clubs have the strongest drinks. so it's like the best bang for your buck I mean, that's the only place I want to buy alcohol from at this point because One or two drinks has me on my ass. That's bes point. I think's why people have really discovered it. but yeah, I think The music is just, I just want I want some change. I want some brain. even if it's somebody I don't know, of course, I'm going to be like, oh, I want this person to perform that I really love this underground person because I like them. But I'd be so happy to find anybody, any live performance would be so fucking cool. I'm sorry, people love hits. I know you like your small up and coming artists, but There are reasons why there are megastars who have Mega hits. Of course because mega amounts of people love them. But also why got the whole song then? If it's a mega hit. what if I were he here the entire beginning to end? I don't disagree with you We can't get into that conversation again. We're going to have round two tonight. and if it sucks, we'll go back to the hotel room, we'll get our headphones and then we'll go back up I want to have a party where Everyone has their own headphones. There's a word for it. I think disco. Is that what it is and everyone dances their own music that R, whatever they call ye Yeah. Yeah. I think that sounds fun That's interesting. That's an interesting take But I'd definitely have the same music my headphones playing as the people I'm with. So what's the point? At least with the people I'm directly with. becausecause then we're just dancing completely different things? Well, that's the point, is it not? Is everyone gets their own groove on, but you're still dancing. I can't dance with you we're in different BPMs or in different beats. You on an off beat. Like how am I going be with you? But that's what makes it fun I guess. I've never done it before, but I imagined everyone would be listening to different music Isn't that the point of it? Well, no, some of them are not. Some of them are like, I think all the headphones are playing the sameame. It's just quiet right. know why I don't go that I have not into something like that. You know me? I would be like, are these other people who are not invited to my birth? I don't want these. Who's worn these? I would not be about that W, this is whyitting episode. Let me show some feat so that people don't go away I'm actually just strech We need our audience of our loyal musy musky tears. That's what I'm to call them. don't like it, but I'm going gonna call you a musky tear.' so stupid. Fine Fine, Musky trunkers is dumb. Musketeers is cute. Fine. whatever you want, whatever you guys think you're. What about muskaroos Musky foox I'm not giving any energy since you shad up m. Tell us what you want. tellell us what you want us to discuss. So pointing I don't it's rude. They would just want you to be fking entertaining Jesus Christ. tellell me the best thing that's happened to you I kind of think I know what it is. Best thing that's happened to you since the last episode U my baby sister came out. I was that what I was gonna guess. Yeah. my little baby sis. U Tell me the worst thing that happened to you since the last episode My little baby sister came to visit. You got me two. She got me the first. She got me so shit faced And andind the worst thing is that she reminded me that I just cannot drink that much could not drink vodka like that and smoke cigaretes and then drink more vodka and then smoke more cigarettes and then smoke weed and then drink more vodka because I'll just end up growrowing up so much and being miserable. That was the worst thing, is probably almost getting alcohol poisoning because I'm trying to keep up with my young beautiful little sister. How do you feel about doing it again todayonight Well, it's not with a young, beautiful little girl, so it'll be a little different, but. There's always an age job in there somewhere. I got it. I got it. you jabbing me all the time. So is, you know tell you Jabby. I don't know. I'm looking forward to it. I'm recovering I uh Binding my tongue. You're talking about being jabbed, but I was not going to say anything about a waterd You in the fucking watermelon U watermelodies I You, best thing worst thing This is always my fear of asking you this because nothing happens in my life really Fun things happen, but Not like I know your worst thing. Oh It's that I went to or dive by without you And he cried about it Twice R twice about it. No. why you into the fucking bar U, best thing that happened to me. I've got nothing You can't, I'm just gonna cut down. His best thing is that he's here with Joffy Pops in I mean, Hollywood You' in Burbank They don't know that. C. Don't tell them where we film. What's a Burbank We're not in Burbank. We're in the Beverly Hills right now. This is this is in my man. It's Beverly Hills. It's like a's it's a freeway to him Theough Beverly Hills Blessed to wake up with health in the morning So that's you gotta be I'm gonna strangle you I'm slipping down to like a fucking mental slide right now. just like shing a new c. Nothing I mean, this is probably could be a little It could be like I went I enjoyed a sunset I just smoked a Doobbe, like whatever. I haven't even gotten to do that Like what are we doing on the planet What's the purpose? Purpose of life is love. All right, I got that But then after After that, what the fuck? do you believe in life life after love I believe in share. I hope they play some share songs tonight. I want to dance to some share. Dance to some share Damn, you really took this to a turn We went from giggling to what is life? What is life? What is life mean? You did it. I didn't do anything I asked him the same question he asked me. What is something you're looking forward to Like it' obviously besides going out tonight right? It's got to be something separate from that. No, that's fair It's just something that it could be bigger than that It could be in the future I'm just looking forward to Um just more like summer enjoying the summer though more like summer, more like summer. I am Every year I let summer pass me by. Now I feel like I'm in a place where it's summer and I'm excited to go to the beach more I want go to restaurant, I want to go to winery I want to Go to San Diego, go to L.A. like whatever. I just want to do things. What actually and I'll say I want more live performances. that's something I'm looking forward to Six x is going to be in L.A. I'd like to see her like that kind of a performance you don't know her and she would drive you insane and you would not like it. But Another autoune girl dancing to a electronic Music production What makes you think I wouldn't like that Uh tone in which you just delivered that just now' predictable. like that that's who somebody you would want to see. Not predict. I could listen any Oh, that's predictable. What if I want to go see Linda Edder who I really want to see in Palm Springs perform then go see what het. And she's not electronic sex music Broadway royalty There you go. So not it's not pretty. go here. Okay, well that's my point. But I think the point is more because I've had such a disappointing time the gay clubs U musically, not I have fun, but musically, it's because I'm excited to go to a place where like I know they're going to be performing that kind of music. I'm going to have a sexy girl on stage fucking Bustsing it down to some loud sex ey Ballet I don't even know actually. She's pretty like She's not underground. likeike she's fraid America, I guess becausecause she' She's from Argentina. So Most of her songs aren't in English That's all you know's funny.'sny is that when you were talking about Linda Edder, I was like, o, Patie Lapone in my head, I like Pattie Lapone's playing in Palm Springs too. Is she You should watch it if you don't know Lennett, you should check out Lennettte. She's like the I would say probably one of the greatest voices That is a bold statement. Oh. Fucin phenomenal. And of course you're going to be like Seline Dion, which is incredible. Like no one can top that. Okay, let's bring it back a little more. This is since we're off in the weeds. Linda Edder Gotta start Star seearch. I mean, Star Search which was like her start kinda, but then she did Jekyll and Hide on Broadway that her husband wrote the music for her and like boosted her to like she could be more famous. She's not like tapping on Broadway I guess anymore. people whatever underrated queen Star search Like whatever happened to stuff like that We' such shitty like like fucking X Factor and American Idol, all that st. You really are nostalgic for a timey that you. I am Star search, like dope, like dope. Ed Mcan. goodood singers, like good fucking vocalists. How many people came out of that Plenty There are some incredible vocalists who came out of It's like American Idol too. Yeah But it's a different vbe. Search forself some more fun some really cooling. I just don't think there's as much mystique and mysterious mystery behind music anymore. No. It's like anyone can make their own music No It's saturated. look at all these girls that you're talking about, anybody can do it. because there's a lot of options out there. And if you want to talk about singer songwriters How many fucking dudes on a guitar? likeike it's saturated. It is saturated because there's something right There is. It depends on how you look at it. Yeah. But I it works in your favor when you're talking about slutty girls, but it's not going work in your favor when you're talking about talent shows. I guess not It's all how you perceive it. It's all how you perceive it You're given all the options and you say, e I don't like it. It's exactly how you. Let me do a clan that, please give mus back That's how I sound. Bring your ear buds. exactly how I sound. The thing is y'all don't see that This motherfucker is the that complains more than anyone when we're together. When these are off, sweet as peaches What how fuck is that? is peaches. is peaches Oh Why don't you ask or contribute something new. O to this fucking show. Okay Because my questions are tapped good with some good conversations We laughed. We cried. We laugh Bailey Jamiels. All come up with some one like good closer. What's a banger? Let's go out on a banger You brought her you banger. You brought her you banger. like a banger of a question or just I don't know, just something. I feel like we need something If you could delete one daily chore from your existence forever, which would it be but still obviously reap the benefits of having done the drawer That's so easy for me cleaning Jim. Yeah, I think of that as a chore. if I can get the result, you don't think of the gym as a chore. Well, yeah, it's not like I enjoy it. I'm not one of those people that like lives to go to the gym. And that's what's funny about people who comment about, you know, physique or like, like I don't enjoy. motivate myself like no other I's not like being uncomfy. Best thing about the gym leeaving the gym. Yeah. 's a good feeling when you're done. When you get a workout in it feels good. Yeah, it has to be a good workout. Mediocre workouts aren't a good feeling I've had a good gym workout and forever. W sinces you ban at me, but That's what you get Who is your celebrity Crush S of like picture. celebrities in my head right now. kind of blanking You answer well, I think I don't want tona be redundant. because we just talked about them in the last video, but I think Ricky Martin Okay I'm sure there's more, but He's the one that always Like he's been a steady celebrity crush He's, um beautiful Yes Kyle McLaughl was that? Oh, that guy? That guy? Why do you don't you shade me with that J if you ever refer to me as a handsome guy, that's what I'm gonna to be like, Oh, but that's what he thinks is handsome. and then I'm going to feel poor about myself. It was a keyword if V good E exceptionally good Exceptionally good. They're good It's thumbna Gess. into my tids A I feel like you would. Is? It's aer It's a t