Beauty in Imperfection and Pop Culture

If you had to say Who is your biggest influence in life doesn't matter what kind of influence ? Mine's easy. Like no questions like I know exactly who my really yeah, my biggest influence in life is who asked you first . I can't say that because then you're just gonna copy me. It's gonna be better than mine . No, it' its' nots not going to be better or biggest influence . You know, that's it takes you down even because like you said, there's so many different types of influence. I could say marijuana. I could say an artist . But I'll probably say my mother Sand knew you're gonna copy me. No shit, yeah, of course 'cause we're mamma boys and their mammas Yeah, of course, without question, my mom . Yeah . Yeah, that's that's real. What's the first thing that comes to mind for you when you talk about your mother ? That could be a whole bunch, but the first thing that comes to m ind when I think about my mother that was a question? Sure . Is that what you said? Yeah I started thinking before you finish speaking . I think work ethic . Okay I think I'm very much my mother's son when it comes to working . It not' likes a you know, a n ine to five holding a job down, but just applying yourself when something needs to get done. Yeah. My mom is always very much on her feet . Go, go, go, go, the last one to sit down when it's time to eat . You know what I mean? Keeping busy up early in the morning, yeah, just constantly ago. Yeah . And I definitely got that taking each moment . My grandmother was the same way. Yeah. I was wondering if you're gonna go from like a musical point, but no, it's kind of just like a life thing, which it all bleeds into itself. Yeah. I mean, my parents were not musical people. Yeah. I mean, in that sense, like creative wise or just like yeah they're not they could certain aspects or traits could carry over it like what shaped you as an artist for sure. But oh I think there's truth to that yeah certainly she was big in the seventies music. I love seventies music. My mother is like all ends. My mom was an artist and like a singer and a pianist and a painter and a gymnast and a model and she did all these crazy things. But I guess I've always been influenced by beauty , you make fun of my slutty horny girl music . Only because it's yeah , you know, it's slutty horny girl music. It is, it is. But I'm not making fun of it because I don't like it. No, it's 'cause it's silly, but it's just where does it come from? And it's not equating my mother to a slutty horny girl. You're connecting to because you're a slutty horny girl. That's why I'm making fun of it. I think beauty, beauty and women and like power. There's so much power behind being a woman. Yeah. I think that's why gay people are so drawn to it both musically and artistically, whether it's paintings or yeah, music. I thought it was beautiful because we wanted to be. I always was wanted to my mom looking like wearing her heels and like my mom was a work hard she ever hears this. She was a working girl . She's a working girl at Cheetahs, Las Vegas. That's where I was conceived . Really? I think you may have told me that, but I don't know if it isn't Cheetah's like showgirls? Yeah, he isn't showgirls. Oh yeah. But that's something we should watch. I love it. It's one of my haven't seen it. Oh, it's so good . It's so good. So good. And I feel like I see a lot more of it online now. But it's bad, right? Yeah. It can't be in the best possible way. I remember it being terrible acting. That's good. There's something about it that I like more though. It can't be more intriguing. Not everything has to cook. Fucking serious. Fair , but you also acting, camping, who's that girl? Not to say the show girls, but bad acting camping. Yeah, you were like, no, that was one. I mean, I was also like intoxicated watch ing that one. So it was hard to hard to keep me on it. And I don't have the nostalgia behind it that you that you carry with it . So it's different. Showgirls I do. Showgirls I connect to in that kind of a way. If you watch it now , when you get to my age, you will be nostalgic for it. In a long, long time . Only about twenty years. I got it. Actually twenty one years . That's our distance. The exact number . Well, I'm forty seven. You're twenty six. Yeah . Come on, Math. You seem a lot. It's funny because you seem older than you are and I act younger than I am. That's probably . Yeah. Would you say is there truth behind? Because when I think about influencers , figure wise people who have influenced me , I would say females far outnumber the males of who I'm influenced by. Hundred percent. A hundred percent. What men are you influenced by in your life ? Whether you know them or you don't know them? Like not even just music, just men. Yeah, across the board because music is something like music wise. Like John Denver's one you and I have always kind of relied on since we started hanging out. I love John Denver. But see, I never took you for a John Denver fan. I thought you just listened to him because you were like dollar writing. No , I love it. Grew up with it like Simon and Garfunkle, another duo, but yeah. The kind of music, I've always into music because I wanted to be a classical singer growing up. So I loved a lot of the male opera singers, or I liked a lot of the jazz singers. But as far as like men in my life go, be my grandfather separate from my mom, different side, actually step grandfather, but raised me with my grandmother and he was just, again, one of those like magnificent people that just was a painter as well and a writer and a poet. And he did skydiving, he did hang gliding, he did free climbing. He was incredible. He just lived such a full life . And so is he around still? No, no, he passed when I was in high school. Yeah, it was a hard one. He passed the VLS. That was like one really impactful moment. It was this guy that was so like able bodied and so able to do anything and has done everything and so self sufficient and independent and talented, losing all ability to move your body, you know, seeming the strongest guy ever knew. And that hit me pretty hard after high school. It was like, you know, now more than ever, like something you have to use, not to like bring it down , make it sad, but it's like it is like use it while you have it. Like live life. Like you look at these journals or notebooks that he left behind and they're just like one page would be like this beautiful sunset or beautiful thing that he drew that somewhere out in the country somewhere in the world that he saw and another one would be this beautiful naked woman. You know who she is or what? But it was just like what your moment was. You know, it's just I didn't hear you said. It's like Jack. Titanic. Oh my god. Like Jack Is that a gay language? I don't understand. And I don't know. That's common yeah. No , no, just these cool things and these little vignettes from his life. You have one you have these? I have some. Yeah, yeah, I have some of them. And so it's its own topic. It's influence. So does it make sense? There's influence with that. And then the other influence is my mother. It's hard, my mother's still around, so speaking about it might be a might be controversial, but you know what? It comes from like love and respect too. Yeah. What are parents for, if not to learn from not only their successes, but their failures and their shortcomings? I think about all the time that the day that my kids start a podcast and talk about all my failures for the world to listen to I mean it's Yeah . Yay mom. Yeah, she'll love this. Yeah, but you know what? It's how you you made it and you became a well rounded individual and I survived. From a parent, that's all I can, you know, hope for my kids. Yeah. Thrive and survive. Yeah. And being a positive influence for sure. Like that's such a cool thing to that I can't relate to or understand in that way, but like to pass on your well of knowledge and your influences and what inspires you in like talking your daughter was like shocked when she's talking about my daughter, talking about some of these artists that she listens to that she likes and I'm like, what? Like at your age, like you're listening to stuff, but she's so cool. No, she's a cool check. That's cool that that legacy can live on, you know, something you can pass this down to somebody in your influence, somebody who influenced you, passed down to somebody else. It's gonna pass down to someone else. Like it just never ends. That's the most beautiful thing about it. I mean, and we talked a little bit about fast food media and all that last time and how there's like no longevity in some of these artists and some of these moments, right? So like living in a world I still think that Chapelone is like legendary catalog artists can be around forever . So moving on from that , I think there's something to be said . Yeah , just about yeah, longevity . Influences that live on musically, I do wonder, like we talked about John Denmark, we talked about this but like early on you said Madonna there was somebody that influenced you. What is it about these people that you see now as an adult? Live some life having your own kids, like what is it that you see now that you you , know , relate to those artists at that point? Because you're a kid, you're listening to this adult artist . Any like full circle moments for you, that makes sense. No, it doesn't make sense. No. I was deep in thought about something, but even thought about, that's even better . I think I just had I just had a I use Ubi a lot because I love an Ubi . An Ubi An Ubi Ubi an Ubi . What's an Ubi? You don't know what an Ubi is? No, you say a lot. I've never thought to ask. Out of body experience, an Ubi , you something you just said , I don't know what it was, but I stopped at one point and when you were talking about your grandfather and the influence, right that he was for you , and you clarified step grandfather . Anytime I hear the word step, I think of my dad because when I talk about my dad, he is my step dad , but I don't refer to him as my stepdad. He's my dad. Yeah. And he was my dad since I was two or three years old . I knew my biological father, but my dad is my dad And there was just went through my head like, you know, and that time that you were talking to that , you can , you know, my kids are I adopted , we adopted kids and how my dad is my dad and he's my stepdad. So he didn't adopt me . He's still a major influence in my life. And I wonder how much of having that kind of representation for from a man who was my father figure growing up made me without me realizing it being okay starting a family by adoption because there's a lot of gays out there that will not adopt and not to bash them, but there's a lot of gays that will be like, no, surrogacy, like they have to pass on there, you know, there's that need to pass on your gene. Yeah. So I just like that's what I was thinking about when you were saying what you were just saying. Like I wonder how much of that influence of my dad being my stepdad was played a part in me deciding like this is how I want to start my family because as a gay dude who just can't have kids with his, you know, significant other , you do have to put thought into it. It takes preparation, it takes, you know, planning. Yeah. It's not like you just go in the bedroom and pop. Guess what? We're having a kid. Yeah. Doesn't work like that. Yeah . Luckily. I know you've tried so many times. It doesn't happen like that. No. Anyways, that's what I was thinking in that moment . I'm sure my dad will be so proud when he hears this conversation. You say like, oh, you're not passing on these gays that want to pass on their DNA, but what is DNA when it comes to just like, I said , your art, your culture, your beliefs, your morals, your passions, your dreams, like all these things that are so beautiful . My mom is my mother . She gave me these aspects of herself. My grandfather, completely different bloodline, but like he gave me so much like almost everything I do, I think about my grandpa. Yeah, all the time and everything I do. It's like blood at the end of the day is not the same as family. No, it's a chosen family type of situation , which is something that gays know everything about all the time. We're so fortunate to have family that take you in and accept you. Like I may have had a crazy fucking upbringing, but at the end of the day like, at least being gay was not really an issue there for anyone in my family, but I have a scattered family and there's plenty of people like you. You're a friend of mine for about a year now. And even then I feel closer with you, like a chosen family that is some of the people that are my family that I grew up with, it just really is like who you choose to be around and who you choose to have in your life and more so like who wants to be there for you and who wants to be in your life because just because you're born into something doesn't mean that they're automatically like gonna want to be there for you. It's not reciprocated always. Life is so short and it's so valuable in all every moment we have. Nobody really knows if it's short. It is short in the grand scheme of nobody knows that. I think we know. Nobody knows that. You have who knows what happens when we die? Do we actually die? Okay, well, that's like a or do we go on. Like Selene Dion . On and on and on and on . We don't know, but we got to live as if we're not. Can we reference Celine Deon in every podcast? I mean, we have to. Now , let's talk about love. What was your question about like John you would have mentioned John Denver and you mentioned somebody else. You were asking me a question about John Denver . Somebody else, Simon and Garfungl. Maybe it was Madonna? I don't know. Maybe it was Cheryl Crowe. No, alright. You met Cheryl Crowe . I talked about influence of all my influences musically. Yeah . Madonna was a huge influence . She represented not only like just fun music when I was a kid, her level of sexuality spoke to something in me that , you know, even at the age of like seven and eight , I couldn't identify . And I think that saw things visually in her videos that , you know, spoke to me and made me feel comfortable . You know, I think even like her open the heart open your heart video when she's dancing with the kid in the, you know, in the strip club or, you know, where she's dancing , there was an element of seeing that kid dance with her that made me feel like I am somebody that she recognizes . You know what I mean? And even taking a little further to Truth or Dare with her embrace of the gay community and the dancers and all the drama that unfolded on tour and how she remained like this motherly figure to everybody during that time . I mean, granted the cameras were on and she was filming a documentary and she's super shrewd businesswoman and she knows what she's doing. She's creat ing this documentary. Like all that aside , she wouldn't have wanted to create that if it wasn't something that she wanted to say and show support for and that's I think that's something that really drew me into her and something that really influenced me as a young adult . I think as I got older my tastes and influences changed . I think like in the early nineties , you know, with like Atlantismore set and alternative music, you know, you have like grunge bands and nirvana and the scene changed, and though I always loved Madonna, I think that as I became musically inclined and wanted to create music, I gravitated towards the guitar and one of my first influences I remember was Cheryl Crow . Yeah . You play a lot . I named my kid after I mean, that's that's where I was going is that the biggest influence of all , I think John Danver Madonna , you know , I mean I can name names forever, but I think that Cheryl Crow is probably and probably even today knowing that who she is as a person and what she stands for and just being an insanely talented songwriter and musician , I think she might be my ultimate. Should your pinky be out? We only drink this. We only drink and rock in my foot Oh, we have a rule. Yeah . What's the rule? No shoes and socks if you're gonna put your foot up, remember? No. We have fucking views to get. You're right, you're right, you're barefoot the shit . Now I'm keeping my feet down then. What do you want to assume about me? I was gonna assume , not that you plan on having children . Okay , if you were to have children , what would you name your son and what would you name your daughter? But it has to be based on influences. That's that's a lot to be thrown at me. No, no, it's not at all. It's easy. I mean, I already know the answer. Well , let me think about this. I know one of the answers for sure. You think I'm gonna have a daughter, do you think I'm gonna name her Lana because Elana Dolay? I don't think I know. And you're gonna name your son Slater Which is kind of a badass name for her, dude. You're wrong. You're wrong because Lana is my biggest. Probably, I would say Lana's my biggest influence musically, which is like a lot of gay people would be, that's so basic. That's so common now. But when you've been there from the beginning , when she was Elizabeth, Grant, which is my mother's name, Elizabeth , and I've met and only Elizabeth is Elizabeth McGuire. Lizzie McGuire. They're not the same. I love Lizzie McGuire, but who's Lizzie McGuire? Lizzie McGuire. Why what makes you think about Lizzie McGuire about London? Because I thought her name was Lizzie. Well, she went by like well yeah she, did like AK Lizzie or like Lizzie Grant but her name is Lizzie Grant. Lizzie Grant, but Elizabeth Grant is her name. Who's Lizzie McGuire A character from the movies . Is that Miley Cyrus? No . Do you know L issy? Lissy? Lissy, the artist Lissy? No , she's good. No. She's a rock like to show me a voice to show me . We're getting off the weeds. No weeds. No weeds won' weted nos, not that kind of weed. No . Elizabeth. If I had a child, I'd name them a girl, probably Elizabeth. I think Elizabeth is really nice name. Elizabeth. Elizabeth, but probably Lizzie, maybe Lizzy. Lana is way cooler. Lana's beautiful, but I feel like it's still in the nose . Speaking of Lana and noses . Sorry , noses . I was just talking about her nose job. I wasn't referring to your nose. I don't think she ever had a nose job. She had a lipstone. Her nose from the beginning, it's the same, that's definitely gotta be the same nose . Okay, let me be that way. God , she definitely had a nose job. Were you kidding me? I don't think so. Everybody's had a nose job. Oh, if I could afford one. Besides me and you know, but it's good. Well, it's different on men. There's a different standard there with nose. This is a whole other conversation, how we even get here, but that's a different standard for m menen. I feel like with a big nose, it's like a masculine thing. I get away . You could have an influence on whose nose. Like look at Janet Jackson. She was influenced by your brother. She had a brother's nose. That's a musical influence as well. Janet Jackson's fucking I love Janet Jackson, you get it? Why do all the Jacksons get the same nose job? You know, I don't know. Latoya, Michael, Janet. I don't know the other ones, but I'm sure they have that's a question . I wouldn't know. I've got a Schna on me. Okay, I got a fucking schnoz not going to get rid of that. I'm too cheap. If I were to get the money for a nose job , it's not going to go to where it's a nose job. We talked about influences now we're on nose jobs . I mean how many, artists do we watch or listen to now that look so I don't think it looks perfect, but if you're going to talk about symm etry like symmetry like symmetrically perfect, plumped, whatever , but like the reason I liked actors back in the day, movie stars, singers, celebrities is because they were unique. You had some people with some wackass teeth , big noses, weird cross eyes. Like it didn't matter you were they were humans and they were popular because of who they were in their art. They're a good actor, they're a good singer? Like that's what made them I know exactly what you now we have like Sidney Sweeney's who is beautiful , but flawless, symmetrical, everything that you're talking about. Looks like she's airbrushed no matter what. There's no flaws. But there's beauty in the imperfections . And there's beauty in just the art the art form as a whole. Who is the actress? She reminds me of Shelley Duvall . I feel like she was on white lotus. SNL mocked her because of her teeth. Do you have your phone? I have my phone. Google SNL chompers actress Jake Tears actress . I don't know where her name is, but she's awesome. And I think she's beautiful . But there's I think what you're saying is are you going imag es ? Oh oh Amy Lou? Her Yeah . She's real . Yeah , yeah. She seems cool, she's beautiful, she's unique. Yeah . But we rarely ever see that . Yeah. Is that what you're saying? No, that's exactly what I'm saying. People that are just not . And what is her name? Amy, Amy Lou. And do you know her from anything other than white loot? Because that's the only thing I don't, I don't. But she does have a unique look to her for sure. Yeah. I think that's just and I think we're get back I think we'll get back there I do, I do think we'll get back there because people because people talk about Hollywood will have no shit. Hollywood's gonna fucking crash and burn with the shit that they're making now. How many people are talking so much shit about the lack of heart and the lack of creativity and everything? You cannot just put Chris Pratt and fucking and these and Sidney Sweeney are these beautifully looking people in every single movie . How many people talk shit about , you know, fucking red forty and complain about like these synthetic dyes being in their food and then the food company is taking the synthetic dyes out of the foods and then the actual people who are buying the product raising a fin being like, What the fuck you do to our cereals? It's not as vibrant. My kids won't eat it because the consumer and the people actually bitching about it are two different people. Yeah, two different demographics of people. I don't that is that is a conversation I could not have. Because I don't know. I don't I don't know . And this all came from influence. So again, influence . Come on. The skylight? Yeah, I think so. I was noticing that earlier . Interesting. You tell we're off in the clouds today. It's better than the weeds. Yeah, or is it Tony Braxton ? Tony Braxton. I love Tony Braxton . When we talk about influences that somebody like my mom plays a lot for me. Really? Yeah, she loved Tony Bracks, especially making me high when it comes to sex being gay. Incredible reality , like being kid , seeing my mom get all dolled up, looking gorgeous , going out on dates with these hot hot guys that my mom would date and listen to music like that. Like my mom didn't care about like what kind of music I'd listen to her because she had all that kind of shit on, but it was kind of an interesting thing. So you talk about influence that's like a big one for me Brackson? Yeah and just he,aring that kind of sexual R and B, sexy music of owning, owning it, being touched, thinking about somebody touching your private parts. My mom was all about it. She didn't fucking care if I was around, smoking her cigarettes, drinking her drinks, just like, you know . And but I looked at my mom. See, my mom was so influenced by these beautiful women and I would watch my mom living that herself, whether she would before Can I ask how old your mom is? sixty round . Sorry, mom . sixty sixty five. It's interesting because my parents were so out of touch with pop culture and music at that point that you had that in your life early on. The only way I had that was through my sisters who were older than me. Otherwise, I would not have known shit about what was cool, what was on the radio, what MTV was playing. I wouldn't know any of that fossen from my sisters. You got it from your mom. I got it from my mom. I got some for my brother's music that they would listen to. But what would they listen to? They were weirdly enough, my brother , Mikey, who is a military guy guy he was in Delana Del Rey, which I don't think he would be into now at all. But when he was he was having an in the laboratory when I was in high school and I really knew Lana by then but like just seeing how like any just seeing how that affected him and how that impacted him as a straight dude, very straight, very masculine was kind of interesting in me because he was seeing her from a completely different perspective than I was seeing her from. And I loved how like how men looked at L anela D Ray for the beauty, the glamour, there's depth to her. But I looked at her as like she's flawed in so many ways in some beautiful ways. And all of her albums are like a mechanic forever, but they're like they're just like a while you saw her art . You yeah. What it was rooted storyteller and she grew up with a weird tumultuous life growing you know and people were like, oh she wanted she liked chaperone like, lied about being , you know, poor growing up. But she never lied about being poor. She just didn't have a great upbringing. She had issues. She had issues with her mom, she had issues with their family growing up. She grew up with maybe with money. I don't know. I'm not claiming to know her because I don't I don't know her, but what I do know is that she sings about life in such a unique and refreshing way that no other artists in my generation well she's not my generation, but you know, no other artists of that generation or people they're listening to now like dude. It's poetic. It's our artist of your generation. Well, she's forty . Why's this guy about age? 'Cause she's different generation. Doesn't mean that she's is she an artist of your not your generation because of when she became or when she was born or when she became popular or well known I think there's both you're right. Yeah, there's both which is popular, especially like now like stuff she didn't think she'd be popular I don't think with like Lizzie Grant and like that and that's the stuff I really became popular in the two thousand ten, twenty twelve or, like what was it then? But which you were what twelve ? eleven twelve. Okay. twelve thirteen. And but her music that really went away is it not your generation . Yeah, and it's the and it's yeah,, it it is is . She thinks about stuff in such a beautiful and unique way, a way to experience life. And I see a lot of beauty in that, right? My mom was a working girl. She was a stripper, she was a dancer , talented never could quite get it. Could never figure it out. Always hard to figure it out fell down though. Always had something holding her back was whether it was men, whether it was alcohol, whether it was something, you know? Let me ask you , does your mom today continue to get back up ? Yeah , oh yeah. More than anyone I know though, warrior . Yeah . She's relentless. She's relentless. She'll put that a fucking warrior. It doesn't matter how much money you have in the bank, how successful you are. It matters if you can't back up. Yeah . Yeah, you're right. We're going in so many different directions right now. To mom. To mom . What are your sluttiest , your sluttiest influences? What makes you say I want to go back to West Hollywood and grind down that twenty one year old grind that twenty one year old . I mean, obviously Slater, which Slater would you describe Slater's music as sexy? Oh, fuck yeah, especially some of some yeah, yeah, Slater's sexy . Goldfrap. Goldfrap is there is sex, but it's different. It's a different sex. The goldfrap is very sexy. It's that slower yeah sexy Cobra . You don't know Cobra. I fucking love Cobra. He's like you're in your forties. You don't know Cobra . Yeah because I played her for you and you're like, who's this girl that sounds like all these other girls with her winy voice seem like no but she was the mother of these girls that other girls I show you. No, the mother is Madonna. Yeah, well of course but like then that's the mother. No, but like but these women have taken stuff like that but they're like golden middle of all this? Goldilocks. I think that's she's got like a bit of a there's electronic, right? People came from like Madonna and then they have kind of dripped down into this different electronic field. Not that Madonna hasn't done electronics, she's done plenty , but electronic, I guess I would call it ESM, like electronic sex music. It's kind of its own thing. Like you've like Brook Candy. I don't know if you know Brook Candy is. She kinda does stuff like that. No, no, no, no. I know the name but probably she's a girl. She had a song that was popular recently with Erica Jane in that like Anora movie. How many folks do I give? I know Eric a Jane. She's a housewife and you were two. Didn't we dance at a housewife's place ? I think we did. Yes. We danced. I didn't realize it till after we went to WeiHo, but when we were in WeHo, oh the pump plate I was like we went to someone's house. I was like how dr,unk was I went to some house wives. It seemed like somebody's house. Where the trees were growing through. It was the Vanderpump, Lisa Vanderpump's place . So yeah, that's it. See, if you want an audience, you can't talk shit about housewives, the gays, they love that. Fuckin' baby elves and the fucking kim Kardashian