The Gift of the Magi Misunderstanding

The McAlroy brothers are not experts , and their advice should never be followed. Travis insists he's a sepert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it. Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening. What's up you cool baby? What 's the size Something beautiful A small aqu aintance has blossomed its rapid into a precious friendship . I couldn't ever see what was coming for me . Hangs at the skate park hangs by the beach by love it feels like it's better, it's better with you My love ly It's better, it's better for you . This is true . It's better. It's better too . Hello everybody, welcome to my brother My brother and me in a vice show for the modern era. I'm your oldest brother Justin McRoy. What's up, Travis Nation, I'm your mother,other T'ravs bris B ook of V ermeom The Heater Award winning Big Dog McAroy. Good morning, Trav Nation. It's me and your sweet baby brother, thirty under thirty media illuminary, Griffin Bilt Ford Tuff McAroy. We don't do that one anymore. You know, boys , sometimes the internet, you're not gonna believe this, lies to you . Never born made by old claims. You hear your story and you're like, there's no fucking way that's true. Yeah, that is true. Every time I load up a website of a certain caliber . There's always a little ad to this side that's like Melissa McCarthy died. And I'm like, What? I click on that every fucking time, but it's never true. They just send me to my friend Melissa McCarthy. It's like one hundred and six year old woman. Yeah, named . Well, so I had a story served to me on a platter and I was like, There's no way that's true. And then I did my own independent journalistic research and it was true. And I would like to work on you should get on Nexeusxus L. You went through the microphone at the library scrolling through. Boys , the year is nineteen eighty five . Okay . The only thing bigger than Hollywood the dreams are the piles of cocaine fueling those dreams. Right. Warren Baty must make a Dick Tracy movie . He is driven. There's something within him that says make a Dick Tracy movie. I thought it was like he was he was in deep dick Tracy estate and had to or else he'd be his family would be killed. For some reason, this was a passionate project of worm babies . Well, he looks so much like Goddamn Dick Tracy. He looks exactly like fucking Dick Tracy. If you look that much like Dick Tracy, you would also be stoked to get Dick Tracy off the ground. He cannot find anyone to direct it . He's gonna direct it himself , right and start it and produce it. He buys the film and television rights from Tribune Media who owns Dick Tracy for three million dollars . That's a lot. Let me adjust that inflation . Seventeen billion dollars. Yep. Whoa, Griffin. Yeah . Disney partners with Warren Baty to make the movie. Okay . They are talking franchise. Disney's excited about this. This is going to become a film series . Then as they're making the movie, the budget keeps creeping on up there more and more and more and more expensive in that Disney's excess of Tim Burton's Batman, I think there was something a blank check being given to old Imstru Tracy. Oh, I've talked about it before. The Phantom, the Shadow, Dig Tracy, the Rocky. All connected. It's all tied together on our comedy puzzle. The movie comes out, it does okay . one hundred thirty four million dollars at that point in nineteen ninety. Let me adjust adjust to give that. That's nineteen and a half billion dollars. Muchy Munchy. two thousand you would think because that number was so much more than three million that the resulting like translation number would be much higher. That's not how this bunny stuff worked. two thousand nine , Warren Baty has owned the film and television rights to Dick Tracy for nineteen years . Yeah. Tribune media sues to get those film and television rights back. Disney by this point is like we're not, doing anything with this, gives their portion of the film and television rights over to Warren Baty. Gave him the dit . He already had the Tracy. He already had the Tracy . Then trip media goes bankrupt in there . Yeah . So the court awards the film and television rights to Warren Baty on the condition that he must every couple of years use those to make a Dick Tracy project . Okay, that seems like maybe not the best way to ensure quality of the thing . There's a contractual conventional deal. There's a lot of that user will lose it kind of feeling in Hollywood . So in twenty sixteen , Warren Baty partnering with Turner Classic movies . Great. Prod uces a Dick Tracey special that airs late, late, late, late at night . And it is an interview of Leonard Molton interviewing Warren Baty as Dick Tracey . Oh my goodness . Oh, how are you, detective Tracy? I'm fine. Call me Dick, huh? I sit here? Please do. Yes. Let's maybe offer you something. I didn't Mr. Maldman. I didn't sign up for this . Yeah. Great. When I started doing this comedy, when I started doing this comedy podcast, I was not under the impression that I would have to watch Warren Baty pretend to be Dick Tracey in an unscripted sort of jazz like format. He also looks so much like the mask in his big yellow suit. Travis, this is Warren Baty pretending to be Dick Tracy in twenty sixteen. What on godscreen earth makes you think I haven't huffed huge giant lines of this guy already. I've been huffing this dude for a decade man . I love this shit. I live for this video. twenty , he does it again. Dick Tracy Zooms in a special the Dick Tracy special in which Warren Bann ers seen this? Yeah. Damn it. Okay , do it. It is a special about the special that was made in twenty sixteen once again featuring if I'm not mistaken, both the Warren Baty as Dick Trazy and Warren Baty as himself Zooming into a call and then that's been Ben Makeowitz . Yes, yes, that's Ben Makeowitz . So that was twenty twenty three . Is it every two years? Is that what he was? So it was twenty sixteen and twenty twenty three. So he's catching up. He's like, I think he's trying to catch up for something . So here's my pitch. Mr. Rady, I know you are a Max Flan member of my brother and my brother me supporters so I know you're listening . But you also know that you're getting up there in years . Yeah . When you die? Are you ? The date trace you. Picture this, your friends and family show up to your funeral. Except surprised. It's a funeral for Dick Tracy. That's awesome. Oh my gosh. And Warren Baty is in the Dick Tracy costume in the coffin. There's paid actors there dressed as Dick Tracy's rogues Gallery Shed Remboot or Funeral. I have to know now. Funeral. Okay, right . And it's and it's you got Big Boy, you got no face or faceless, you've got Mum bles, all of them there shedding a tear for worthy of the public domain. Can we use him? No go ahead from him. Do your thing. Big boy from outcast is in the public domain. Big boy from Jane is not . Then the headstone at the grave reads Dick Tracy, you put up a live feed webcam pointed at that headstone. Inperpetuity , it is a dick Tracy project . Inperpetuity , you will never lose the right to Dick Tracer. Okay. Yeah. Tracer. They will be buried with you, perhaps literally, I don't know how that works. Travis, I have good news and bad news . I can't wait to hear it . It's both actually . Dick Tracy enters the public domain on january first, twenty twenty seven. So your window to get this guy in the ground in the cold ground fighting Tom Jones in heaven in the last sense is running it's got to be entirely fueled by spite. It's the thing that kills me. Yeah, not like he's not using them , right? He's making these specials. There's not going to there's no one banging down his door to pay him thirty million dollars for these rights. Yeah. He just doesn't want to give them up . The only problem with the Dick Tracy going into public domain is that it only applies to the very original version of the character in the in the original run vers Yionour does have to be an unrepentant racist. And like, 'cause otherwise that is the only version of the character that is in the public domain. So he does have to be kind of like kind of like how you can do like racist Mickey Mouse. You would have to do racist have to be racist or else the same character. Knowing this now that these rights , like that it becomes public domain in twenty twenty seven, I'm just, I'm worried about the day when Warren Baty gets a letter from his attorney, opens it up and misreads it as Lala Land . That's funny. He does travel that. Yeah, that's not. Travis is really tickled with this fucking five year old Oscars reference. It's not so proud of yourself. Not bad. Thank you. I want to keep the I want to keep the Jokes coming and talk to you guys. Oh , okay. It's not gonna seem like Joe's, but it is my life. So we gotta talk about it. It's your life. It's now or never my lizard that I had for a week died. You're kidding me. No, yeah, it is. It is . And it is sad. I realized it last night and I was am very sad about it. And I wanted to come to you guys to get some advice because I know you do this advice show here. Yeah, I don't know how to go about You know, not just with everything , but like especially with like everybody's got a lot going on and it's pride. So like I don't want to obviously do you know what I mean? Like yeah lizards have their own month everybody's got lot a going on and it is pride and like we're working really hard on like summer theater so everybody here is like really heads down and like yeah dad's doing his show and like I don't really know who to get to for to get sympathy and how to approach getting sympathy for I am sad about the lizard I have for a week. Like yeah like I don't know how to even ease that into the convers ation really. Right. I don't need a montage . It's really bad though because it's just gonna be me trying to get it to eat crickets and then getting skeved out by the crickets . Yeah. It's not like a lot of good times. You didn't have a lot of great moments with the lizard. Could you like photoshop? So very sad. Want to be clear, not based on anything. And I know and this is probably what's hard about it is that if I broke down on somebody about this lizard, they would probably need two and a half minutes before they were like, this is probably about other stuff. Right? I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously , but with a lizard, it's easier because it's like this is very concrete. I just need your sympathy about it, please. For next time, Joshua, when you get your next lizard , immediately film with really feels this is another huge issue, Travis is that highly unmotivated yeah to do so too sad really very sad. You can travel . Can I just finish one thought because I am mourning, huge aquarium just huge tanks. Big unbelievably big because I expected a friend . A long term . You wanted growth. I was prepared for long term growth . He needed his own zone. You had a little project Hail Mary situation. You were diamond hancing that lizard. You were grow market. Yeah. You really had a lot of faith. You know what I mean ? And I read all the books. I feel like I did everything pretty good. And so I'm not really blaming myself. Again , certainly is tied up in other days there. Yes, but the one mistake , the one mistake you made feelings. The one mistake you made, Jamie, I was not filming for a montage of like you and the lizard having a picnic on the beach and like you have like a close up POV of its face saying like stop filming. I don't like crass trav, but like considering our lives, I do feel like a little bit robbed of the opportunity for like a lot of great content, lots of a lot of good and that is a terrible way to think about it until you realize that I make content with my family . That's a so now it's beautiful. Right. You know, just pronounce it different way. It's content . You know, when you think about it That's good traff ic. That's really something . Yeah. But what's funny? Okay, well, you tuber like, yes, I make my children content . Yes, yes, yes. My kids are frequently daily make my children content. No, well, my kids make me content my kids work content . Right. They make me and everyone else content. Content . We make three dollars fifteen cents per million views from YouTube on their content The content content is really important to me . This is why I refuse to invest such a paper thin animal. Emotionally or like monetarily or monetarily mostly. But I mean the emotional thing is that that's probably not even going to happen. But the financial side of things, I don't need I don't need to be, you know, two G's in the hole support ing an animal who again is just a stiff wind where the lizard go. Wind got 'em, big wind got 'em. And then a bird got 'em before he even touched the girl. Like, no thanks, give me a big, give me a toyle. Give me a big boy who can't hurt who can't get hurt. I could actually clean off the bad guys. There was no threat of bird . Like there was no I did a good job. Yeah, there was no bird. No one thought there was a threat of bird. Okay , lizard's eyes sometimes. Is what you're saying? Yeah, Griffin, that's why it's so hard to get sympathy about it. You're skipping to the end. Like, yes, agree with your pet tie died. If your pet turtle died, people would be like, holy shit, how'd that even happen?ed I told Cooper, yes, exactly. How did I even know they could die? I told Cooper that like it just happens. These things happen. Like that's nature, that's life sometimes. And by the way , she really, if there was any leftover sympathy, I feel like she turned waterworks and was really kind of lapping it all . You know what I mean? Like there was not a lot of drops over leftover for Daddy. Even though daddy is daddy's sadness about the lizard doesn't come out as big heaving tears It's more of a rot e rot. No, no, it was a big heaving tears, but it was the night before while they were in bed. But I felt sad again the next day. Yeah , right. And would have just loved a little extra, you know? Yeah, I just didn't know. Justin, I want to first express sympathy for y'all and say, I'm sorry I'm a loss . Thank you. He's finally eating crickets in heaven now. That's why Travis didn't take it seriously, did you? You didn't take it seriously. And also I never learned the gender because you have to candle their little nads to figure out what's what in there. And I just thanked. Just very hung up because Griffin mentioned having a big pet turtle and nothing has ever seemed so right as Griffin McRoy having a large pet turtle as a pet having a turtle. So I've been thinking about it. What if you saw a turtle right now crawl up on his little What is her? He'd be huge, dude. I get TikTok content from this channel and it's this woman who has like a four hundred pound enormous turtle. And you know what this thing's favorite thing on th Ear to do is smash into all of her patio furniture. Just absolutely fuck this woman's patio up every video is her like horror stop horror and stop it as he just absolutely goes ham on some world market wicker chairs. Just fucks them clean up. It's awesome. I would love that in my home. Get you a big turtle. It might get me a big turtle. Might get me a big turtle. Dressed like a big turtle right now a little bit . I think that I think you're right. I'm saying it's such a good It makes sense. It makes me feel weird that you don't have a big turtle already. Maybe the thing that's been missing in my life this whole time is a huge turtle. That'll be a huge max fan goal, I think sometim e is like Griffin gets a turtle. The more support we get, the more members, the bigger the turtle. Oh , if I could mention to you guys one other little wrinkle , I discovered the situation when I went to feed the bearded dragon , one of the five hundred roaches that I had just purchased. Yeah ye,ah, he did mention this just the other day how many bugs you had bought and brought into your home. five hundred right just five hundred crickets this animal made you bring a thousand bugs in your house . Hey guys, it brought a thousand bugs in a nine and now I have I had a thousand and one pets and now I got a thousand which I guess in the grand scheme of pets is still pretty good . Yeah, I mean there's gotta be a way sale a thousand bugs never eaten. Alive living? Alive? The bugs? Alive? Yeah . Not all alive, it's rough to be a bug, but they're doing okay . That's what the ride at Animal Kingdom at Disney World was all about. You go in. You see Barry the Bee, you see all the famous movie bugs like, Oh shit, did you hear the news? Yeah , man, Dave passed away last night just from being a bug. Better in getting ate I guess. Better in getting at by a bigger bug, I guess. Dave they only eat the live ones, which like I hope that her pickiness was not her undoing. I did offer a lot of great live bugs but I don't know. Where you bought them from have a return policy? I wanted too many bugs. Hey Trav, I would have to ship them back them back This is an ex lizard That's what it would be like. Yes . I made just smile again for the first time since the end I just laughed for the first time . I never thought I'd laugh again. I never thought I think that's my first successfully deployed Monty Python reference. Yeah, and it kind of made laugh . I'm ruined now, man. I'm gonna be dropping that shit all the time now . Were you scared, like going into it? Was there scared? Which one did you was it like the two wolves? Which you get ? Yeah . And you, hey, can I say you committed and you nailed it? Yeah. I could a couple of weeks ago, I applied online for a job to be a delivery driver for a chain of ice cream shops. They recently reached out to me and asked if I would be free to chat and have a scoop of ice cream on us . Hm m. I love ice cream, but I'm not sure what to order in the context of a job interview. Should I get a single scoop and a cup? Should I go crazy? Ooh, should I go for a crazy combination of flavors or show off my creativity? Do I use a spoon? Should I politely refuse? Help me , brothers. That's from Scoop Savy in Seattle. Got me a spoon, right? What's the normal? What's the normal ice cream? There's additional info here. Okay, PS, my normal ice cream order is a double scoop of any two chocolatey flavors in a waffle cone with no spoon. Excellent. Good choice. No spoon is not an order . It's a lifestyle spoon. Hold the spoon . Hey, you know what? Order like that. I would hire you. They're like on the rock on the straight up Okay, I worked at an ice cream shop as my first job was at the country's best yogurt, which not ice cream. Okay that that little correction always comes about seventy five seconds after I mentioned that it was primarily a frozen yogurt shop. They did have like twenty flavors of ice cream. Because it was anytime anyone ordered ice cream at the country's best yogurt, I'd be like, God damn it because the yogurt just go with a little handle and then your job's done and with the ice cream you got to fucking and it always bum me out so much. God MC U Y. Shit, man, me too, pretty sweet job. This job is great. I love making content with my family and having so much creative freedom. This job doesn't let me eat free fun sized snickers bars infinitively in the back room of the job while I played Nintendo DS. That's not an option here. Do you want that? We could set that up for you . Oh man , I'd be so bad. Don't trust me in a big room full of free snickers have sort of evidence that I can't be trusted. You can't. Ask you, you can't do con . Any thing in a job interview them. Yeah, where you're like and it involves a lot of licking . No , yeah, no one wants that. I think if you're an ice cream delivery driver, I don't know, they want you to be punctual . What do you the ice cream situation is not so important. They want you to be punctual and they want you to not be kind of weird . And if you I'm afraid if you go with a certain ice cream arrangement, all the worst a little cake cone with a big swirl and you like , okay, I think they've gotten that you don't want him to get a cone, Griffin? Yeah . I think they get it. Okay. think they get you should three popsicles at the same time. Like licking his out. We all get it out. Yeah. Don't licking at a job interview is pretty good. Unless you're there to be an envelope seal er . Yep, they're not that's it. So I think that as a delivery driver, I want someone who doesn't hate ice cream, but I don't want to worry about them eating the product on the way there. Yeah. I was what I mean . I was not screened for this particular trait. I don't want you going to ham. The products aren't even sold. You're delivering it. I don't need you to sell. I don it't need to see your enthusiastic about it. I need to see that you have a healthy respect for the product. Yeah . If it gets out that when you do a job interview at this company, let's call it the country's worst yogurt . And you roll up and they're like, have a scoop on us, but you're actually allowed to have a free double fudgy double blast sundae with extra extra drippings on it. And you eat that and they're like, You haven't said anything this whole interview you just don't meet and you're like, yeah, guess I don't get the job. Guess what? Next day you're gonna put on a wig, you're gonna put on a big fake beard and you're gonna come back in the next day for the next hello, I'd like to interview for the job too. I'm a great driver. Let me get a double fudgy super duper blast with extra fish unemployed. They need a job, Griffin. You're not helping. You're getting it. They have infinite ice cream and renew hundreds and thousands as they can possibly pop. There's a lot of peanuts you can get on there chairs. Yes. That's fruits and protein baby. That's fruits and protein. Cozy. How crazy do you think go with the toppings before they're like, actually, I think we're done here . I think the toppings are an instant fail. If you go for a cream, I always looked down on people who put toppings on their ice cream, which already contained nuts. Nuts. Listen, the cream already is folded in with nuts and mollos and chocolate chippies and all kinds of wonderful stuff. We'll keep going . I'm just saying the cream has all kinds of great stuff in it. You're saying like, but what if it also had you can't hear to theseppings of ice cream you lunatic. Yeah why it's icing without cake? I know that granny what you super duper duper messy a lot of ice cream toppings guys I worked at the country's best yogurt. Who the fuck do you think you're fucking talking to right now? Do you guess what percentage of ice cream toppings are like on a fundamental level compromised by being rubbed all over smooth cold wet cream? The answer is almost all of them, almost all of them. Try getting gummy bears on your ice cream. My kids do it every time every time I say no, those kids rock hard and edible and gross. Don't fucking do it, but they know they don't like . I to be the sort of person just like waits till they get there and thinks, hm, what kind of ice cream would I enjoy? And then they order that and then the boss is like, huh, tell me about your order. And then you're like, I don't know, that's what I felt like. I wanna be that person . You know, where do I? But the problem is once you've thought about it ahead of time, you're no longer that person . So what the fuck are you supposed to do? Not think about it ? I yeah like to pretend to be that person . Yeah , but there's a voice in the back of my head that's like, you know what you're getting? And I'm like, I don't know. Is this a new place? Maybe they have different flavors. And it's like, yeah, and then I get and I look at them like hmm, huh, you know what is jumping out to me ? This is like chocolate peanut butter. Yeah. That's like that's what you were planning the whole fucking time. You knew that about peanut butter. You're right, Trev. Just like atk Betas Robins, chocolate peanut butter. You know, the Basket Robinson on How Gru was for sale for a little bit? Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, almost. I was thinking about it. I was like, Dude, should I be an ice cream man? That career pass for me? What? I can show you the ropes, kids. I was showing the ropes. I was worried honestly. The reason I didn't do it is that I was worried that for first of all, I don't know how to do that. Like that's a that's a huge a lot of it doesn't stopped you from doing a lot of straight will do this thing where like so I just I don't know how to. So that's the one that stopped me. The other thing is like where's the ice cream comp? Do you make the ice cream? Like where is it fucking? I assume someone else took care of this. Yeah. I just realized I saw in the future of like basket romans trying to tell me how to do it. And I can't be in a fight with corporate all the time about the way I want to sell ice cream. You know what I mean? Like why call mine the dirty basket rob this year. Time Robinson 's Tim Robinson. It's a Tim Robinse basket Robinson. We're watching we got monitors for the kids. We got Shaw Shank going. Mask in Tim Robinbs. Mask really come in and soak it all in . We got a thousand bats in Tim Robins . We got you gotta try our double fudgy Mystic River caribel streak cheese acake. It's so good . Do you want some Timmy's on that? That's what we call sprinkles. Hey Tim Robinson, I think you should leave. This is Tim Robins' basket rock Cool. We should take a break. Yeah, does that is that right? Yes to meet. Okay, let's take a quick commercial break . It's got a You want to get your money figured out. You the first step is figuring out where it all is, like awareness, right? Yeah, where's it all going? What it is, how it works What it is? Where's it going? Hey money, get back here. Where are you guys going? Well, here's here's your answer is rocket money. Yes, rocket money, hey, check out my finances. Tell me about my my little money soldiers. Where are they going off battle? You know what I mean? I want to know where they fighting where maybe I don't need to maybe there's a subscription you forgot about or twenty that maybe you don't need to be sending your money to anymore. Well you can just kill maybe that's already dead in this scenario. Like you're killed you're sending I'm trying to follow Justice Dick. You're sending your money soldiers soldiers money's listen, I watched a lot of shark tank and money is soldiers . Okay , money is troops. War is basically for money. War is everything. Business War is health. War is money changes, but it does have change and dollars in it. Pocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. You monitor your spending and it helps you lower your bills so you can grow your savings. I mean, that's not complicated hate you guys. That's just rocket money. They categorize your spendings for you so you can look and see that where you've deployed seal team six the world's most elite that's your credit card group your credit card is seal team six , elite operatives doing the dirty work that keeps America safe . I'm trying to a part of a big boy. I love you. I just got to be a part of it, man. I love you so much. Have you noticed how everybody is putting two hundred fifty? We can all get a hand on that ball, huh? I saw Doritos extreme garlic Parmesan America's two hundred fifty, which like is fair play, Doritos. Like, absolutely, man. We should do another episode two hundred and fifty . Yeah Awesome. Rocket Money would probably think that's a great idea because of how much money we would make on it . And Rocket Money's always telling us, you guys are spending your money in such a wild way. You told us to stop you if you tried to spend money this way and we would just letting you know we're concerned . But yeah, I've actually used Rocket Money a lot and it always catches my kids' iPad subscriptions in the Dragon. I guess their fingerprint is close enough to mine that they can authorize Apple ID purchases sometimes. Where do they do it while you're sleeping? They do it. Grab your feet bong. Yeah . So yeah, thank you, thank you, Rocket Money for sponsoring the show and everyone should use it if you want to keep your money straight. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocket money dot com slash my brother . That's rocket money. com slash my brother. One last time, rocket money dot com slash my brother. Wouldn't you guys think, don't you think it'd be cool if in Fallout five, it started with them saying like turns out sometimes war changes. War does change. And then it's like bionic sharks are fighting war. You have to fight and you're like a field. Yeah. Big change. Wouldn't that be fucking cool? Frames makes the perfect gift for any occasion, even if that occasion is just letting someone know how important they are to you, how much they mean to you , because you can constantly be adding new things to it, new pictures , even like little video clips or whatever. Sometimes my kids scare the shit out of me by hitting play on a video when I didn't know they were standing by the aura frame and suddenly the noise starts coming out of it and I think I'm being attacked. But other than that, it's great. I love it. You need to have fewer videos of men yelling and chasing strangers you put them on the or frame because it could be easier to put stuff on an or frame. If it's someone else's that doesn't know how to do technology stuff, you can manage it for them. So like for your dad, if he's maybe not so great at technology for Father's Day, it would it would fill that need. Don't put videos of men screaming and yelling his name that they're going to get him and that they know what he did even if it wasn't screaming, you can still be off putting, you know what I mean? I don't know people cheering for me for sitting down. Only beautiful memories of you and them and your loved ones. And quiet men. And quiet men wh,ispering your name. Yeah, quiet whispering men. Load up your dad's or frame for Father's Day with quiet whispering men. Dennis, we're not Dennis, we're not going to get you. You know how your dad loves the lost? You can recreate the lost experience for your dad by filling his door frame with quiet whispering men. Yeah. That's just occasionally whisper some gibberish. We don't know what you did, Dennis . No one's talking about it. No one, you're safe , you're so safe. Bigfoot loves you. Something like that, you know? Name number one by wire cutter, you can save now by visiting auraframes. com for limited time listeners can get thirty five dollars off their best selling Carver Mat Frame with Code My Brother. That's AURA F.RA comMES promo code my brother. Support the show by mentioning us that check out terms and conditions apply. Sunscreen companies calculate SPF by testing it on volunteers' butts. There is a can of spam in the Mariana Trench. A Nobel Prize winning physicist from the Manhattan Project invented modern speed bumps. Mesoamerican native people invented kidney medicine that glows in the dark. On the podcast secretly incredibly fascinating, we explore this kind of amazing stuff. 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I want to munch. Squad baba baby. Welcome to Munchquad, it's a podcast. Within a podcast, the thermostat is heating up and I couldn't be more excited over here . Okay . Hop boys and America's ice cream prepares are also very excited. I just want to talk about the summer of America. Please please I'm begging you QRSR magazine stop showing me the pop up for that pizza. They don't have it in my area but I want to eat it very bad These are the first one I want to tell you Travis, this is a local interest story that I wanted to know. Greaters Graders baby. Guess what Graders is doing for twenty twenty six? Now, of course they're celebrating America's two hundred and fiftieth, okay? Or the cherry sparkler that's crafted to celebrate the nation's two hundred fiftieth birthday. This wild cherry ice cream combines red and blue popping candy folded into every star spangled scoop. Now, if it wasn't graders, I would question how that possibly holds up a thing that dissolves when it hits moisture . Yeah. Yeah. It's in a nice process but it's greaters and I trust them. They'll figure it out. But Trav, here's the really exciting one. Ghost notes . Ghost oh I know about this. I saw this. Ghost go ahead, Trav. King's Island is bringing back the Phantom Theater . Holy shit. Dude, it's reopened. King's Island gets here. We are we can be the spokespeople for King's Island. Please, please get at us. We'll do it. Please, please. And this is the Greater Phantom Theater Ice Cream Tie in . Yeah, they're so it's ghost notes celebrates King of Island's new ride, Fantom Theater opening nightmare. New quick history on this ride. I'm gonna try to do it from memory so apologies if I messed any of the steps up. It starts out as phantom theater, which is a dark smurfs . Yes. God, Travis, you're right. Oh, that's all the way back to the Hannib integration. Right. Okay. So it's a dark crowd that smurfs Merse. And then they lose that license and then it becomes Fam Theater, right? Yeah. And then they get the Scooby Doo license with paramount, with paramount. And then it becomes boot scoopy Doo Boo blasters on Boo Hill. Sucked . And then they lose scooby doo thing. So then it's just a bunch of people that kind of look like scooby doo people running around . You know, it's the g ang. Harry and Frank and Golf Meat Rubo Shabby Dug. Shabby Shabby Dug . Yeah, but they finally they finally are reopening as the Phantom Theater opening nightmare. And the Meister's backyard, it's very cool. Good news. Good news. They still have the room where they have like a big oven and they blast you with fucking fifteen second uninterrupted jet of really hot air. The best way to dry off after a rain at the park get wet on one of them wet rides, you go on Phantom Theater. It's cold in the beginning, but then they blurfs you with that oven. It feels so good. Get hit by that Dyson hand dryer of a ro d. So good. You can get it ghost notes right now, Trav, so make sure you bring me a pint . Carvell is a chain that has not been a big presence in our neck of the woods in W Virginesternia, but I do want to tell you they are celebrating America. Good with the USA Carvalanche. That's Carvell soft serve mixed with red, white, and blue iminem candies. those are an edge case. They are a little harder to get through in an ice cold context, but they do, I mean the candy shell does a lot of work to do. There's also one thing I wanted to highlight here that is a new trend for summer that I have not seen before, but two places are doing it, which is the side eye celebration of the World Cup without actually mentioning it. There is a limited edition game kind of play. Yeah, there's a limited edition the big cup. Very limited edition soccer themed ice cream cake created for summer soccer viewing occasions . Okay back to the beginning . Yeah, sure. Baskin Robins, by the way, for June, not July. We don't know what they're doing for the two hundred and fiftieth yet , but they're launching Foodball Fireworks . Not to be nineties with Football Day in North American o. This is Foodball Declassic . The brand's June Flavor of the month. This is made for super fans, soccer moms, local legends, and aspiring stars alike. Weird that we're still just taking gendered strays just from nowhere right. We're just like randomly like, hey, holy moms pup Yeah. You know, moms do suck alright pow ers Dad don't give a shit about soccer. What? What? What are you talking about? What do you mean soccer? Okay. It's a winning combo of sweet cream, soda, ice cream, cherry flavored sherbet with bonus assists from green apple and blue raspberry popping candy plus blue raspberry swirls too. As a beverage, as a sweet treat, that's too much shit. As a well representation of America on its quarter millennial, I think this it's not bad. It's pretty accurate, I think, for the state of things now. But what about the king? Wait, is that a drink? What? Is that a drink? No, is this flavor of the month for June? Okay, I was so worried that I was gonna be sipping on my soda through a straw and a popping candy would shoot up through the straw and hit me and make my heart explod e. You know, milkshake would be a boss pole if you want to be a delivery driver for an ice cream place that's on the go but ice cream based, but you can only get it at the store. So they know they have power over it's not the hardest thing to make too. Guys, I got so jacked making milkshakes at I missed how were you making it? Were you churning it? Yeah, man, you had one of those fucking things in the big metal cup and you had to blender. There's been a lot of really, really suggestive pantomimes and I have never been particularly aware of that shit, but our pivot to video that we've made twelve years too late is like really illuminating to me that I just do a lot of jerk off motions when pretending to do other sort of tasks . Yeah We don't like to hang out with our kids. Okay . One last quick check in on Burger King going absolute ly wild for July . There's three new summer menu items. First is the loaded jalapeno whopper It's an all new guest creation. It's a hundred percent flame grilled beef with crispy pickled jalapenos layered with creamy jalapeno sauce and then the other stuff that's usually there. And it says delivering the spicy kick guests have been asking for , so that's good news. Can I ask what the one hundred percent is representing in the phrase one hundred percent grilled beef? No bread crumbs anymore . So it's just straight up. So it's a one hundred percent beef grilled. A hundred percent grilled beef makes me think that you have flame grilled beef is the flame . The flame was turned up to twice one hundred percent for like twenty seconds and then flame grilled it out at the end. It's a hundred percent every bit of this thing is grilled. It's all grilled . It's grilled. We have a special testeract that we put it in that's able to grill it from every angle at once. Why is my beef patty like ten percent the size that is supposed to well, the one hundred percent grilling, it reduces, there's no moisture in that. Loss. Yeah Where's the beef? The beef isn't the meat loss. The beef is in the cloud. The beef is just kind of we evaporated. We digitize the beef for your convenience . Next up is the Orange Dreamsickle Freezee King. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, listen, guys, we got to, don't get pavlops dogs over here. Friesy King is the new home for our frozen innovation The first time that one of these brands decided that they were launching a drink platform . We should have stopped them called like Cosmic, all that shit. We should have said no you cannot have bubbles by Captain D's. You know what I mean? Like you can't do it. You can just have drinks. It's not a new home for frozen innovation, it's a new lever on the fucking slushy machine. Stop it. No, I hope listen, no matter how excited I get about an orange cream sickle thing , describing a beverage as an innovation . Yeah . Unless there's some new cybernetic way of consuming it that makes it so like I look at the drink and I've drunk it or something. It's not an innovation. It's just a different flavor of drink . But what about the birthday? What about the B day? We got the firecracker cookie pie, a chilled crunch expression. Firecracker cookie pie. That's three different words, man. That's fire cra cookie pie is a chilled crunch experience that layers velvety cream over a crisp sugar cookie crust topped with red, white and blue, star shaped sprinkles to celebrate America's two hundred and fiftieth birthday. It's a chill crunch experience . Yeah . Honey, you 're different. Yeah, I yeah, I it's just I had a chill crunch experience today and I don't know. It's changed. Everything 's I'm looking at things there. Colors just aren't as bright anymore and I don't find joy in you or the child ren's faces. It's just not the same. Griffin, I just texted you this quote from Joel Yasinski because if I read it, you guys are going to think I read it wrong. Okay , as the weather heats up, we know our guests are craving for fun flavors that they and experience and share, said Julia . Sorry, say it again . That they and experience and share, said Julia Shinsky, Chief Marking Officer Burger King USN . Whether they're looking for a full meal or a sweet or savory snack, these new limited time menu items deliver the type of innovation guests with a capital cheat for some reason have been looking for. And we're continuing to listen and give them what they want . There, I said what you wanted me to , please let me go, set me free, says Dave. Dave Joel says it's getting hotter so we make colder things and if you want to eat a lot or a little bit, we'll do it. No problem. Let us fucking know man. Just let us know and we're going to keep doing this. Okay, you keep saying whatever and we'll do it and they experience and share and they and experience . Please stop complaining about our food. When you try to get as good as we can, do you guys know how hard it is? We don't know how to do it better. We 're then spending more money to do it. Like if we could do it and do better stuff. But like we have to grill one hundred percent of this goddamn thing. Yeah. You know, like that takes forever . If y'all would stop eating the middle ten percent you greedy pigs that we don't have to cook it. That's the hardest part of ninety percent around it. And stop telling us you want more chicken fries as a joke because you keep doing it and we keep bringing 'em back and then no one No one orders up. No one orders it and you send us a note that's like, ha got you again. No one likes chicken fries, idiot. We better chicken failed chicken fries with all the chicken fries we have left. Jim needed a house and we didn't have money 'cause we spent it all on chicken fries. We spent it all on chicken fries . You ruin this guy's fucking life with your chicken fries, bright . Firecracker cookie pot. Firecracker cookie potentially firecracker cookie pot. It sounds like I wanna let the motherfucker burns. Yeah. Okay, I let pie burn . I went more, it's like it sounds like a rave like a rave track that one might get from like you might hear on like a Rupaul's Drag Race. Like a Rebecca Rebecca Black like just sort of one for the one for for dancing and forgetting about it firecracker cookie but my boyfriend is a horology nerd and so I've bought him a pocket watch in a mini ature grandfather clock. I'm trying to put together what the word horology means from context glusion. Time . Time. I'm not talking up. The only problem is The only problem is they both have mechanical movements. These clocks tick loudly . How can I disguise or suppress the sound of them at night when he sleeps at mine so as not to spoil his gifts . I know the easiest thing would be to stop them, but mechanical clocks work best. When they run consistently and I can't afford the service fee, my neighborhood is dead, quiet and my apartment is small , any help is appreciated. And that's from conspicuous clock clamor in Cambridge. I mean have some great some great thoughts on this. Oh yeah . I do. The ticking would drive you absolutely wild unless it was the steady beat of a popular song . How many beats per minute is the second hand putting out? Probably sixty. Probably sixty. Yeah, is what if I had to guess. I just looked up sixty BPM songs . We got kissed kiss from a rose by Cal. You could get that cranking. I'm talking about a playlist of sixty BPM songs My g,irl by O,tis Reading, try a little tenderness, by Otis writing, these arms of mine, Otis writing, Otis writing worked at the natural sort of rhythm of the universe. And I fucking love that. I'm all about that. New slang, skinny love. There's like a lot of tracks that are just kind of there for you. You have to sync it up just right 'cause you can't have me songs. I don't know if Trial tenderness would put me to sleep. Okay, well take that then don't do that one. But it would difference my favorite one on the list you just said. Can you convince your partner like ? Okay, yes, it's true . I am a clockworker man. Okay . I was assembled by Dr. Zalius and he died before he could give me a soul . But is it true? You hear the ticking of my heart. I am a clockwork boy . And only your love has brought me to life . So it's their their so boyfriend is the nerd about clocks and you're saying that you would say I am a clockwork person and I don't understand how this is going to help you sleep at night. I'm hung up on the it's true part as though the partner has always suspected that they're a clogwork boy and you're finally confirming it . Sorry, say again . I don't see where they're so what you might explain it to you one time, but I do feel like explaining Rob some of the genius, but I will explain . You are telling your partner that ticking sound that you hear is not a gift for you. It is in fact the ticking of my heart because I am a clogwork boy. Yeah. Yeah, and he died before he could give me a soul, but your love has made me right. I'll tell you what happened here. There was a bit of a f start becausealse I saw how can I suppress the sound of them at night? And I just thought it was because they were so loud that they made you not be able to fall asleep easily. That was me projecting my own shit on you. I didn't realize the layer about you didn't want to give away. So yeah, saying you're a clockwork ide A stronga, Jews. You missed you like, it's a gift I don't want to spoil. Was that the missing without the main kind of thrust? They do want to spoil the big reveal that it's true. They are a clockwork . Okay, so even with my own that you understand my initial, can you react to it with a little more earnest like anger? Like a little give us can you give us the line again , no, I actually want me delivering the premise a third time. It's exhausting emotionally and I can't do it again. I pretend to be a clockwork boy like Hugo, Trap. I do like, can I just say Justin, when you were doing a voice as the clockwork voice being the truth. That's cool. He did it again. He said he wouldn't, but then he did fucking it's very , it's even more human, I think than you normally sound. I have a porcelain heart. I have a porcelain heart. Okay. My porcelain heart ticking, so it echoes terribly. Why do they have a porcelain and heart ticking if they're a clock? He was a prototype but doctor Zeus before he could doctor Zaeus. Dr. Zeus did it? Oh thank God Zaleus, Zaliusus . Zae was his assistant, his mom sister. His magic sister. Oh, it's a tie in This is all part of the planet of the Apes universe. Heart of the planet of the Apes. What's the next ten words of this idea when they do know how disappointed this person's going to be when they find out their partner is not in fact a clockwork? They'll love made them real, Griffin. They'll love made them real. But it's the ticking still go are you gonna still going to give them the clock and the watch at some point because they'll probably figure out when you do get you got a minute grandfather clock is their actual grandfather . Yeah. Okay . That's actually very good. I actually like that now Travis. That's actually good. That's my grandpa, please ignore him. I'll move him out of the room so he doesn't watch I love making. Okay . Oh yeah, that's right. I can go forever . There's a bow of steam . I can go forever There's a there are some cultures in which giving someone a clock is a bad is a bad luck is a bad thing to do because I think it is like reminds Fozo that you're gonna die or it like is the same character in I can't remember I'll Google it later. And then next time I talk about this, I'll sound like super duper smart. But do you think when that sort of became a thing where they're like giving someone a clock is a very rude gift because it's like you're telling them they're gonna die. Do you think the clocks industry was like oe? I don't know about all that. I understand your hang up , but I think clocks make a make a great fucking gift and you should get our we got all kinds of new clocks this season. This one has a cuckoo that comes out of it. That's new, you guys like that. No one is picking up our clock catalogs off the grocery store shelves. I'm starting to get a little bit worried about this about this I went home and he was like, You're right, Deborah. I should have done paintings . That would have been a better . That would have been a better wall thing. You're right. Damn it. Damn question, ask her . Sund . Okay. What is that silent? What? You're gonna already it's bought can'.t You fix it with a sundial you're gonna, okay, gift of the Manchi. I sold the grandfather clock and the pocket watch to get you this cool sundial . Yeah , okay in the gift of the M atchy, once again , in our series of misunderstanding the point of the gift for the Matchy, I don't think they sold something belonging to their partner to get their partner present. I'm realizing now I hey, I sold your cart to get you this book. I don't think that that happened. Well, no, in this case movie, I sold your watch to get you this watch case. Shit. That was really bad of me to I wasn't even thinking about it at the time. Shit. Do you think the first person who finished reading that story ? They put it down. They're like , oh, Henry , I don't think this is very good . I don't really understand it. And then oh Henry had to be like , it's not it's more like everything else will relate back to this . Like you only kind of understand it in retrospect it's only gonna make sense when other things happen that are like this. But like right now in isolation , I understand that's like it's just kind of very sad like I get it's not a very good story. Well, it's kind of sad. It's kind of sad. It's kind of sad but it's like a very good story. I understand but it'll be very useful story later. I created a reference point for other people. What I've done here is a huge humanity sacrifice where I've written a weird story, but later it'll make other people's weird stories make more sense. Right, but they need this contextually as a culture , we need this story. Even though I'll admit I don't really know how to feel about it either. Koska wrote this story about a guy who turns into a big bug. It doesn't make any sense, but it's gonna help other things make sense later. You're welcome . He sells his watch to buy her combs for her hair. And she sells her hair to buy him a chain for his watch . She sells seashells . Well no , I she'll grow the hair back. We've talked about this at least three times. Okay, never mind. No, I actually don't want to. And you know what? Luckily we don't have to because that's that's the end of the podcast. We've we've gotten here once again just as I knew we would, you guys at the beginning were like, I don't know. How are we ever going to do it? I was like cut this part out later but not, inspired you for like fifteen minutes. Remember? Yeah. Yeah, man. That's cool. I've never felt so good about the work that we do. We have some new merch in the merch store over at McRoymerch. com. Got a new shirt. It's a design with You're going to be amazing from Taz Balance. It was designed by Sabrina Valente . And all the proceeds from that shirt go to Lambdalegal. And ten percent of all of our merch proceeds this month will also be donated to Lambdalegal, a national organization working to achieve full recognition of the civil rights of LGBTQ plus people and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work. Our merch is all over at macron merch dot com. There's a lot of stuff up there. We've also got the Make It Six Sicky Notes by Evan Cruz over there as well . Make sure you check those out. Also, I believe we are five weeks away this week from the release of the Adventure Zone story and song, graphic novel , the final traffic novel in our series . We should finish writing it. Quick. Go to the adventure zonecomic dot com you can preorder that now. There's some special editions available at Barnes and Noble and Books A Million , and they've got some stuff you can get for your order. But wherever you get it is just help us out. If you think you're gonna read it, pre ordering it helps us out a great deal. Thank you to Montene for these for the Strath sumong. My life is better with you .