Wendys Minions and Monsters Meal

The McAlrooy Bothers are not experts And their advice should never be followed Travis insists he's a expert. But if there's agree on his wall I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids which I mentioned only so the babies out there We know how cool they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby This. somethingomething beautiful Small acquaintance has blossomed itss rapid into a precious friendship. I couldn' have never seen what was going for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My love. It feels like A It's better, It's better with you A It's b Hello everybody. Welcome to my brother, my brother and me. Thevice show for the modern era, I'm your oldest brother ust Mcrooy. What's up, Trab Nation? It's me your Miller' brother Travis Big Dg, Woofle of, room room the Heater. Big Dg. Did I say that already? Aard winning McRrooy? What's up, sweet Trab Nation. It's your sweet baby brother, thirty under thirty media Luminary Griffin McRrooy Just a quick update, by the way, about the award winning thing. Yeah. Did just get notification. They've started making The awards. So should be getting that any month now. Is that a traff is that a goof Damn, you're just so good at Making goofs like that that it's hard to tell truth from. I know that seems so wild when you hold your award ceremony seemingly eighteen months ago. Yeah Uh, I want to tell you guys about U my drink Yeah, going. Disney on ice. This is the only cup big enough that I have I used to have when it says Life's a Beach that I stole from a house. Yeah, but now I just have this cup This is my breakfast boy and I want to tell you guys about it because I think that I could get you guys in on the ground floor of this Uh it's how I start my morning every morning. I get a Is the Disney on Ice Cup part of the every I did cover it's the only cup I have that's big enough. Oh it is And if you miss it, he did do a subliminal. he held it up right next to his head to give us a size comparison to give us a bit a a boy. Yeah Yeah. Cups actually the cups ticular and I'm resisting the temptation. I love that. Thank you so much I actually know that because my kids also have a Disney on ice cup and seeing it did make my skin crawl everybe the shot because Thankk you very much important Well, I will continue to drink Yeah, but So is a blend of Premiere prrotein caramel or coffee flavor depending on how caffeinated you want to get. Usually I do that. And then I dump in All the old coffee from yesterday U Right. aged. Don't say old, say aged. Yeah. just for if we're gonna to market this later just know that aged salt and then I take a sip of it and I see if it's And then it's like, is this quite enough? It's not usually quite enough coffee flavor So then I'll add a little, this is a secret. a lot of people won't you this coold brute concentrate You dump that in there What was the last one? Okay? Duncan Colebrew what Concentrate. C. you and now have three caffeinating proteinating factors. Let me tell you, the first thing about ila drink Awesome,M. Fuck yeah, dude. I love when you just like say shit with that like and by the way, I'm announced this is an announcement and casual. Well I F first thing with utila drink is You are going to be able to time your bowel movements with the clockwork precision of a train engineer You know If you drink one of these, you know exactly when you're gonna sm. Ague it's the primary util of utila drink. We could get like Griffin has his big water bottle with the markings on it. Yeah. you could time it out, J. You could make like not just the drink, but a bottle that comes with it with markings of it Yeah like start getting ready, collect reading materials. your phone charged. D time been there for a while. Yeah. But you guys you guys, I'm glad to see you guys so excited about this because I don't think that I can just we can just sell premiere protein mixed with old coffee. Right. So we got to add, I think ut drink is very powerful because it gets your day started and to somebody with a brain like mine I like the idea of having one liquid that like, Oh yeah, it, I'm good to go. Yeah. So like what else can I get into utilility drink? I've already thought about crunching some clarein in there. Yeah.'s. Hold sh man. Yeah. Oh my God. Justin Utila drink will be prescribed. Listen up, pharmacists because this affectsy AI? It'll be persayed?. I don't mind handing that one over the tech to the tech lords. 'causeuse it's to see an AI doctor who will prescribe only utilityink. only utilit drink. what? for a kios And Justin, can I o Oh, I've just been struck Giff and going I've been struck by a marketing but Giff and going One idea at a time guys. One idea at a time I don't just want util a drink to contain two different kinds of coffee and perier, caramel or coffee flavored protein and also a little bit of clariton because I'm so bad at that and DC is according to recent polls the sneeziest city in the United States. I think you could grind it up. I do think the size I could just drop it in there not think about it. Why stop there Utilility drink prescribed by AI doctors Let it get my buupropion in there P. Do you know what I mean? Let it get my Lxit bro in there. Just one drink and I don't have to bl blop, blah, block, take the four pills. That look like the Pi machine, the cke machine we talked about the other day where you just walk up to you mix the flavors. Yeah, freestyle medicine drink. It's me style. It's me style. It's like Oh my God when I wasing my drink. It's a me style, utilility dr. style We can figure out Dines, by the way So I know Dukey's happening two thirds of the way down and then probiotic right there at the bottom Oh it's to the bottom like Boba. Yeah. and then I'm gettingitt that probiotic back in my tummy right there at the end bigig fat probiotic pearls waiting for you at the bottom to suck through straw Utility thing that I've been actually afraid to think about because it's actually too powerful is the idea of layering. So like, what if at the top layer you had a diireic And then at the bottom layer you had an anti diuretic. Y Y So you have and midway, so you're like Now wait, okay, one issue with this just from an engineering level juicer. Is that if we are it's not a juicer, you're no special juice contain. Yeah, there's no fruit or vegetables No fr No organic or organic material it all microplastiques. If you use I like that by the way, Griffven. Yeah IQ Ues at the end very f use a long Everybody else doesn't want them anymore. We'll take them on the cheap. If we use a long straw with this medicine parfait that you've described, we're gonna get the anti diuretic before we get the diuretic. and I'm not even sure what my b I would I would probably bust. I would probably burst and die if that combination was given to me in that order. There will be very specific like also don't operate heavy machinery after drinking utilility drink. No. Like I think that there will be a lot of warnings down the side. Unless that's your job. in which case you will be completely prepared for Yeah. then I love I love the straw that you or Griffin, I think it was. love the straw that you slipped in there. Check this out Ae the straw it's mint Okay Mint candy. The straws of mint candy. holy the end of it, you eat the straw. So the util, the final util that it provides It final util is the brci fresion. Yeah, that's good. Here's my marketing campaign that I've pictuure, commercial Okay, Charlton has an S . charging out of a building as people everyone's walking around and he's holding a utilility drink and he screams like, Uutila drink is everything. Yeah. Uutila drink is everything. And he falls down on his knees and everybody's like, oh, cool. And then they start drinking utila drink. And he's like Oh actually yeah Now I hear out loud at rules. Is it people? No? No it's medicine might be people. I worry actually people might I worry people might have their ad. Oh yeah,ah sure tra just pitch to add someone pitch and add. it's Mark Ruffalo and he walks into the kitchen and you see his face and then it's just his face, right? Yeah. You don't actually see utila drinking this one You see his his face and he looks and he's like, like this like confused? He's like, It's really scary. He's like, Skyler, that's my utility drive. Yeah Cut to black because that's how powerful it is. Yeah. why drink the raw? you drink theyll probably of it. Now why listen, you know I love the Ruffalo Buffalo so much. Every man is to answer your question. E man Why are we paying Ruffalo buuffalo prices Yeah, for for just that. ' it's everyage line. tellell a person. either youut a person. Be a doctor H's a hulk. Yeah he's also in drama. And it's true so he madeade a robot out of Emma Stone like or had sex with her. I didn't watch I was little. But u like he's the every man. You know? He's like the utilility drink like perfect sponsor and fight probiotics I always confuse people on the street as Mark Ruffalo. I think he's got he's in DC. He's lobbying for something. neverever he just is every he's every man. I walked next to him one time at New York Comicon going through the back tunnels to get Little He little. Is he like four or eleven? Is he little? He he's the size of one Mark Gruffalo Like if you're thinking like for scale, you would put him next to another Mark Rufflo and you'd be like, yeah, that's exactly. I'm at Google. how tall is Mark Ruffalo and Google Jy and I AI is going to be like nine feet tall. when he needs the hulk. Thanks fucking, thans dude. I've tried to word this in a way that makes sense before, but you know, sometimes like you're somewhere and you think you see celebrity and you're like I know, o, who is that all? Is that somebody that's somebody When I saw Mark Ruffalo, it was negative time Yeah before I knew it was Mark R fllow. One of the most recognizable people in real life I've ever seen Five eight Yeah feels right. What's the MSRP are we thinking in juice on utila drink So every that will be very conditional. Like obviously if you're on some high grade experimental medications or ones that have to be specifically temperature controlled. Yeah. That's the thing with utila drrink. There are going to be some utila drinks that are probably going to be kind of like JB weld where they have to be stored in separate containers and then you squish them out and then you mix it and you have to drink it like right away Yeah before it hardens. I' like or whatever. I'll tell you another P fifty probably fifty fifty to twenty grand. I'll tell you my okay, yeah, that makes sense. fifty wait, fifty dollars to twenty grand or fifty grand to twenty grand, which is not normally the way you would arrange you would listen like fifty fifty dollars is like Basically just coffee, your head no. Right. Now you're gonna reverse that because there is a step down process to quit til a drink. You're not gonna want to stop cold turkey or do what I got toa tell you guys is pretty much all pepp duts. It you real? M don know what those are one these be real It's sounds It important. It sounds ye. It's all human gor. I tell my issue is every twelve weeks, I gotta shoot up the Sky Rizzy. I don't know how we incorporate that element into utilityink. Five hour energy drink style utilility drink just comes in a little one with a Sky Rizz So these are delivered to youia via exppress mail. You get the like huge ice box with your weekss labeled Oh it will be stolen. And then every twelve weeks, I'll get one in that only has six big bottles of utila drink and then one very menacing small glass vial full of. Rachel, where's the packaging? Rachel, did you tell the packaging for this? Rachel, did you see a small, small bottle It's my styzi Uutila drink. For premium members, I would also like to pitch Uutila drrink nights where there is red wine in it. Okay, see Trav That's a different util. It's a different util because that's just Booze. Like Booze does all that for you. The only job you have. Oh, you're right iss just a bottle of wine.ilility drink.. Listen. it's just the wine is the utilility drink. Without will not sleep. We cannot stress enough. there's so much in utilid drrink that if you drink utilid drrink without utilid drrink nights to as the antidote, you will stay awake for four days Maybe it is just an anti a big bottle of anti stuff This is gonna breing you back. This is gonna break you back. I is absorbed stuff. Yeah. this is all activated charcoal. I think this would be good. This is all carbon saundas. It it's three parts Cabernet Sauvignon. And then it's one part it's one part melatonin and then the rest of it is sawdust And it absorbs the charcoal and activated charcoal. This is going to get you out of the crest as we call it and pull you back down Yeah In the morning. important thing though, if you don't have your next util the next morning, you will perish. You will die. You need it Your body's going be fluctuating through states of ketosis And matter matter regulation. You need to stay on the you need to keep surfing the wave or you will fucking crash, dude We're we're going to start every press press conference the same way. Everyone, hi, thanks for coming Again, I will ask do not ask about nano machines in the utilility drink. That is company Company information, cannot share that?. me saying that makes it sound like I'm saying there's nano machines in the utility drraink It's not one way or the. N' not saying that. We're saying there's not not And if they are they're beneficial, but there's not any in there not there's not not any in there. But if we were going to Today's In't tell you. Today's my sky Rizzy day. I got it on the brain and I wanted to share that, you know, I started taking it for for my terrible skin. Can. I don't think I believe that's the name still. It's awesome. St suchuch a good fucking name. And It's like one of the canan you imagine when Ferris Bueller like came into the conference room, and he was like, guys, I got it Yeah, Sky Rizzy Greg Ws was probably a lot like that That guy just beat Skyrim the night before is what he was in that he started he was like Sky Rim. U I just got guys I just beat Skyrim the night before. I'm leaning on the edge of my window. I don't know if this will play. No It's cool. You don't look wild at all How is that window? Today's my Rizzy day and I'm so grateful. Thankk you, Sky not sponsored. Thank you Sky Rizzy forix fixing my psoriasis I was watching TV a couple months ago and I saw an ad and it was like, do you have moderate to severe Crohn's disease? Well, that can make life very difficult, can it? Luckily, we've got a drug for you. It's called Sky Rizzy. And I was like, wait a minute I've never taken a drug for one thing and then found out that it also fixes a totally different, completely other thing. And maybe I had moderate to severe Crohn's disease. I'll never know becausecause if I did, the Riz licked it So That's pretty that's pretty. I've never had that happen before where it's like my depression medication is also making my Weener, huger. What? Like it's never do it never does two secret things Well, it usually does two secret things, just one of them's not beneficial. Theres There's a lot of like, oh also it turns out sorry about that Like Well, butrin is a depression medication that they also use to help people quit smoking. And it's like, maybe you're just sad. You know what I mean? Like maybe Maybe you were sad and you smoked to deal with it. You actually can't know the difference. I was taking Lexapro for depression, Yeah. And then my doctor, my therapist diagnosed me also with anxiety, and she was like, just keep doing the Lexipro. I was like, Oh, cool. Wait, this. Hold on It's all one thing guys. We're all one It's all continuum. That's what you talk drinks about. It's all that's what that's like the ads are going to be like. P peopleople passing around a can of utila drink and it's like we all have different utila drinks, but the one thing that ignites us all. And people were like, the can, the can. The can, the can. Then a few people are like, theanana machines. No no, no, edit that. Get outt of here. get that out. And then there will be a very large trade across the bottom. Do not share ut drink. These are deious No, They show the acific blend You gott to show the ad right after where Mark Ruffalo says like, no shitit, That's my YouTube. You have to show that right after so people know that the last ad was like a joke. Do not sh we all sh this. There should be more ads that are also PSAs for the dangerers of your product. Yeah. It's like it's like advertising how powerful it is. Like this isn't kids stuff. We're not joking around. I wor chocolate flavored, but like that's not The health disclaimers on uta drrink in the ad will be robust enough that it will not leave us a lot of runway for the ad part of the ad that talks about how good the product is. We're going to have about a second and a half Of Mark Ruffalo being like, Uutil drink good. and then fifty nine seconds of like utility drink will kill you fucking graveyard dead if you do No, it will only kill you if you drink someone else like that's Yeah. we can't stress enough. it won't kill you No. but it will kill everyone you love if they drink it ye just lay bl Get your own apartment. We will be safe. We won't label them. We will put nothing on the can that says like this is Mark's utila drink. You need It's up to you to do that home personersonal responsibility That's right. That's what Amera That's what this country was founded on. Yeah I'd like to ask you some questions and these came from our listeners, theseese aren't mine. okay. I don't want them to be weird about it These are ones that they've sent to us. Hey, Justin, Justin in that moment, you started typing Hey, you felt like such like an oracle It was cool. You were getting in the chair for a second. It looks so fucking cool. Yeah. Do you know why it look so cool? becauseuse I'm trying to register util drrink d. comot Oh Yeah, you look very professional at that moment. So stupid. Well, that's when I do my job Travis is gonna register We have to reevaluate your job title and description. by the way. It's been a couple years now. We need to add I know I keep skipping. I know annual meetings where we get new job titles and stuff. Do you think the stuff that Travis says at the beginning of the Mabin Bam episodes is like jazz? That is That's puted down by board members. I get board doct every time I miss one eighteenars ninety nineents It fifteen dollars ninetine nine cents for eighteen dollars and ninety nine cents for utilidrink dot comot I mean like dude gra an investment. We building a brand. That shit will c everything out of the beginning of this episode because someday someone will make utila drrink Amors that will really make it and then we'll sell that back to them for Iad the terms ofort. See how much utilility shorts is too, because we can do like a fun thing where it's like summer branded shorts Yeah. I think Amanda gets notifications every time I do this. I hope he does. Is she good. Sometimes she's text being behind your back because she's worried about you and our finances She should be. I like to keep everybody on edge. Listen. Listen, my barber's old Aside from my years at college and a few years living across town, I've gone to the samet Barbara my whole life I'm worried he'll retire and I won't know where to get my hair cut Is it okay to ask him where I should get my haircut when he retires? I don't want to think I'm looking to ditch him already seeking As sureurer in Springfield Oh, so hard Wh, you mean die, right You're trying to retire from this plane. They mean die, rightight? Well, I think it's the same. If your barber retires and you don't see them anymore Yeah. Unless they're your uncle, they're pretty much dead to you. Thank man. What if the barber died in the mle of cutting your hair and it was left unfinished forever? And you had to live with that hair Y. You had to find someone to do the other half. Maybe that's how you do it. He says you're looking for a new barber after me. He only cuts half of your hair. He says now the time the timer is ticking. Get out there, find someone who can completely luck And they'll know informed by my past work how you like it done Could you ask him to put together a detailed buildbook as he cuts your hair of like shots of the cuts and methods he's using and then you put it all together in a very detailed separated binder that you can just hand off. And at this point, question asker, find yourself a twenty one or twenty two year old barber because you don't want to go through this again. I mean, you got to go through this again. the old heads are the best because some they'll do like old timey they'll like slap you on the shoulder, give you a little like on on your forehead like a little percussive like You know what I mean with their old hands just just bongo and All over you The old dude in Huntington that we went to a couple early, I think was his name? Yeah, early. God, that guy was early to life. He had things got here before everybody else. got started before He got there before everybody else. That mother trucker Hy's right. He had pneumatic Like Shears. Like I remember they were like hooked to a tube like to the wall. when he turned it on it sounded like a steam it like a piston like a that and you could feel like the air going off of it ruled, man Yeah And all of his haircut styles had like number seven with bangs, you know, it was all like you were ordering out a deli. It ruled thing about and hair cutting and hairirstyling. And I have to assume this is true for everyone is if you start seeing the same person to cut your hair for a long enough period of time, you forget kind of what it is like with other sort of stylist hair professionals There could be a whole world of not sort of older barbers out there who can offer you so many cuts. I got my haircut at happappy Hir Boutique for a long time, basically up through college, it was just where mom took us And it a lady who we went to church with cut our hair, I think at a discount, which was super chill But it was, but my style was not great until when I was like a senior in college, saw someone else who cut all my hair off and I was like, I look different now. this is way better and I don't have to talk about Jesus Christ During the styling, which I also super duper appreciate. Guys, when I lived in L.A, I went to the same stylist as Cameron Esposito. Oh fuck. A person named Pony. Pony was incredible Hononey was incredible. And don't get me wrong. I love my Cincinnati stylist. Oh, she's great. L her. She's great But Camerons Cameron's hair is just very, very, very powerful. So good Shot I've been seeing the same guy, Joey Griffith Kidm on Booksy Check them out. G, great cuts he's a younger fea We used to just go wherever wherever mom took us, which is usually into the happy hair boutique. just wherever she went. We would normally slide up and there. U Happy hair with you can tell by the name, spepecialized in teenage boy haircuts. All right because we were happy at the end of it. We did have hair. The barber shop is specific if you go to the actual barber shop. and I think part of what makes this so hard is you're not just talking about the barber because Unless you're going to like a mastercuts or something at the Walmart everyvery barbershop is just a loose confederation of maniacs that decided they could share the same basic room. Like it's like there's no, there doesn't have to be a sort of like the music is whatever everybody can kind of agree to and if not that, it's three different kinds of music and Fox News. It's like it's just a bunch of people living in tight quarters and this like cycle of strangers that are just like in and out of their little like wing sitcom that they're doing. But it's like it's a vibe. You got to find one that fits. I've gone to the I've gone to a barber for a year where I was uncomfortable. Like I didn't like being there. I was like, I hate this, but I can't find anything better I can't do any better than this right now.? But it's just about the it's about the room. the vibe current stylist and the salon I go to Hm radio station they play over the sound system is the hits of the sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties, two thousands and today. Wow. So that that's all the music. It's the most whiplashy best sonic experience. Is this is a soundtrack for whiplash. Tempo Incredibly Tempo Every week my office test the fire alarm. two fifty five and three hundred five. It scares me and every week Damn. Really careful. We work at the gasoline factory. Yeah, right. J's got to check it again. I love the idea that you would need a fire alarm at the gasoline factory. and it wouldn't be immediately hugely instantaneously apparent Nobody else in the office ever reacts. The exact time varies from week to week and it only lasts a few seconds I've been at this job for every year now, and I'd like to figure out how to stop embarrassing myself on a weekly basis How can I be more prepared for this noise scientifically designed to make me react? That's from dreaded Dlls in Dublin I tell you what's wild. There's many things that's wild about this But here in Cincinnati, and you guys have heard it many times. first Wednesday of every month, they test the tornado warning. Yes. att noon, first Wednesday of every month. It is interrupted recording times and it's always extxtraordinarily eerie to hear because it's a it's a pretty scary s. It sounds like an airwid sire Yeah I have lived in Cincinnati now for manyany, many years over a decade and a half. Trnadoes are not a normal thing. I don't know how it comes up. but When you're working a job where they're testing it every Wednesday The Dia that you would know. It's Wednesday consistently every week to the point where if it went off on a Tuesday or Thursday, Your immediate thought would be todayod's definitely not Wednesday. This is a problem. Like your first thought is going to be when you hear it. Wednesday again because that's how life works. Well they confir dont do they confirm that it's the same day I don't think so. It's just that it happens at two hundred fifty five to three hundred five PM some days Once. I thought it said every Wednesday Once a week. this is what I'm saying. this person is so careful E week. They test a fire alarm between two hundred fifty five and three hundred five. You shouldn't! You can't do it different days because that's not That yeah Well, but Travis, fire comes any goddamn day it wants to. Fire is burn on Monday doesn't. Monday to Sunday Unless there's doing Like you're training for like a battleship under siege and you're like doing like repel borders training where it's like every week Do the drill. We're we've got you're going to have the fire escape plan down, right? Like, no one has ever done a fire. I can't remember a time in school when they would do fire drills and every student or even any student would be like, let's take this seriously guys. Like it never sa for me, captain of the fire Patrol trying to get my trip to. I was fire Patrol too. Yeahah I mean I was I was a captain fire Patrol. I got kicked offross saity Patrol. It's not important But wow You never treat it like it's a real fire If I knew that my office did this, this is not I would leave during this time period. I would not be around. I would find a reason to I hate this. Yeah. this sucks If I I don't like the very loud like No thanks. St' so loud. How do you feel? Do you like the Suton Well, sudden this is the worst Sdden. But you know that it is coming, right? You know it's going to be in this window, but you don't know exactly when? No thing. So you can be scared I'll go to Walgreens. Thankks. I gott to get my medicine for my utility drink. If I don't add another little thing to it every day it coagulates I gotta That's f. Add the stuff. I gotta add the anticoagulant. You gotta keep it at seventy three point five degrees. All right I think that One of the problems, and I think we can address this right now there is an easy solve When a fire alarm kicks on, an alarm, it kicks on full blast right at the start. And that's going to disorient you Right? Because now you got to get used to the fact it's going on. you got to comment down. It shocked your system. Okay. We need something with a slow And not even slow, but like a ramp up. Yeah. right? Like the fire alarm is also like is there a fire right? So it's like a beep Well, Yeah, I mean, I even be What are they testing when they test the fire alarm system? that All the things are doing the noise, right? Why does the noise during the test have to be a scary honk noise? Why can't it be September by Earthwind and flyire like something to get the get the get the office move in Well, you wouldn't want Earth went in fire either. You know, you would Yeah, there's like that's like a bunch of the natural disasters all kind of rolled intoair That's a fair point. rolled into one What if on the day that they test the fire alarms boss can decide that that is at the time that everyone can also punch out. So you hear the fire alarm, all of a sudden, it's not something that you're scared of. It's something you're excited for because when the fire alarm goes off, everybody gets to go home for the day Or you could say like the first ten people get to punch out. Right? likeike the first ten. Oh, cool. Yeahah Right? So now for somebody you belieave the building Yeah That's going to also increase that Pavlovian response. right When you hear the fire alarm, get the fuck out of the building. to get out of the building. I want to go home and fucking chill That's's a good idea. You incentivize a little bit of the carrot rather than than the stick. You know, you're incentivizing people. what if you had just like a huge cooler full of mountain doos outside? Yeah just pops it open like That's going I haven't done a fire slide from the fire little de. J just like post socer, justust like after socer. There's like a bunch of boxes, little debies j. Hey, you catch more flies with honey than fire is what my grandpa need more little D debbies Catch a lot of fies with little debbies Hey, let's take a quick break, a quick se joururn, and then we'll return. Hello one thank you for coming. I appreciate you coming. My name is Daniel Worthington. I'm of course the CEO of the Pretty Kitty Committee. and I have some unfortunate news today. We are forced to Ban. The use of smalls from competition in the pretty Kitty committee. Unfortunately It is just too high quality The cats it creates an unfair disparity between the cats that are enjoying smalls protein packed meals one hundred percent human grade. They're delicious. I eat them every morning, of course. But of course, I no more cats Consuming spalls will be permitted to compete at the pretty kitty community. M M now Sorry, Griffin raises his hand, but Travis is making cat noises, so he wins U Yes, thank you. Did youag What funny magazine are you from? Oh I'd like to know the day were funy Time magazine Uh, one We voted you the person of the year for not only your work with a pretty What is his am Fucking name Danel No Tad Justin, I want to our answer. Sorry. Dctor R Worthington. Yeah U But also why not just give why not emmper Worthington Emperor doror Professor Worthington. Why not just give all the cats smalls and make it fair Yeah. Well, Travis, that would be very good for the cats, of course. eighty eight percent of cat owners reported overall health improvements. But what about the? Yes, Travis. You have another question Well doesn't seem like there's a reason not to give the cats if it makes the cats ye. we could get around to my question too, and it is a. Griffin, you had a question. What was your magazine? My I'm not on a magazine. I'm the COO of the prettyre Kitty commommittee. You should know that we've worked together for forty five years They are a sponsor All of us And I like banning small's cat food because it's so good for cats and you've been using it for a long time and your cats have never looked Sexy, I guess My cats are sexier than ever before. You're right, Griffin. Griffin? Thank you you didn't really the thank you is nice to receive one of those after forty five years is awesome actually for me. But I do you didn't really address the issue, which is that smallmalls is one of our sponsors this week. And I'm worriry that banning them from the competition that they are sponsoring sends a message that they won't like. Yes, old friends Fty five years, you've been a steady hand on the till. and once again, you have steered me right Smalls is a sponsor of this program and thus we are requiring Smalls for all cats in the Pre Kitty commommittee Yeah, stop serving your little carnivore bowl of process shortcuts for a limited time because you are my brother, my brother B listener, a member of the P pretty Kittdy commommittee. get sixty percent off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life. When you head to smalls. com slash my brother. That's sixty percent off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life When you head to smalls d. com slash my brother Listen, as a journalist I'm so excited to be here. Unfortunately, Time magazine. has dissolved. So now I've decided to start my own independent them. Y. It's cat fancy too. Yep. Ive decided another cat fancy. I'm going to start my own independent journalism website where I can report on this breaking news that small is required by the prettyrety Kitty committee. So I've turned to Squarespace Build my website so that I can publish all these breaking stories and also my coverage of you know, wars and political stuff. So it'll be wars and political stuff and news about the prettyrety Kittdy commommittee will be like my main focus. Now Trav, you're no great shakes in the brains department. How do you That's true. Why do you think that you're gonna be able to pull this off? Well, even a real dum dum like me with mushy head Can um build a website with Squarespace because they have all kinds of helpful tools and intuitive design and services that they offer to help me do the things I need to offer my goods and my services and get paid on one place. It'll make me seem professional in a way that I simply am not. Yeah. And the cutting edge designs will really cloud and mask the fact that I'm Just your real stupid face. He didn't say that with macaroni for brains.'re t you need to show Justin some grace for the thing he said. No, I have macaroni for brains. Overcooked macaroni sayay you have macaroni brains. Say any of that. He didn't say any of that. It was deeply implied I think I think it was deeply implied that I have overcooked macaroni brains with raisins I don't know why you're saying this, Travis I love Squarespace.. I bet Justin's probably gonna to use It's just that you guys didn't invite me to be on the board of the Pretty Kidding commommittee. I had to become a journalist just to be in the room where it happened. Well, you know what I offered you that here's what happened. Justin offered you that role. You said, yes, please. He offered me that role. Did you hear what I did? I said, no, I'm taking a bigger role in this sketch You have to do that here, man. You know it's a cutthroat. Sometimes someone sets you up for something for the job you want. And you got to say, no, I don't want that part. I want a bigger part that's bigger than your part even I'm Garfield Yeah And I didn't even have to do a voice. Justin did a voice. I didn't even do a voice, and I still wanted that bigger part Can I take Justin's part Yeah, it's a problem You gotta do the. I'm Samuel Worthington That's good. President of the prettyrety Kitty commommittee. That's good. And I'm requiring all cats to build a website with Squarespace I love this voice, you guys think cats can do it I love cats. This voice you guys do, which I've named Daniel D Lewish is really very practiced and a featuure guest here on the show. Hey, head to squarespace dot com slash my brother for No I was going to say it too late you're ready are human or a kiddy. Head to squarespace dot com slash my brother for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code My brother to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain Is a cat not entitled to a website at Sms? No, says the man in Washington. I Well I click your squarespace. I click it up Hey, Max fun listeners. It's me, Jackie Kishation. I have a podcast with Laurie Kil Martin. sayay Hi Laurie. Hi, Jacqueline. Hi Max fun listeners V veryy formal. We have a podcast and it's about stand of comedy and how much we love it and how much we dislike some of it. So listen to that podcast. It's called the Jackie Laurie Show. We drop new episodes every Wednesday that gives us plenty of time to decompress from our comedy weekends and discuss things with sane level heads No, it doesn't. if you are a woman our age or a man our age. or you know what? any person of any age, I think you'll enjoy your. Jackie and Laurie S showow on maximumfun d. org commot bye Are you a celebrity Are you searching for meaning, connection, and a little levity these days I'm Camela Nanciiani, actor, writer, and yes celebrity too And I've got four words for you Bullseye with Jesse Thorne. Are you tired of junkets? carpets, sick of the endless spicy snacks you have to eat. Do you want to connect with someone who gets your work Laugh with you a little Join me, Andre three thousand, Tom Higs, Tina Feay, and many more and become a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorne from NPR and maximum fun. Take take, take a d Andily. Lily Lily. I want a munch squad I want two munch squad Bjangles jumpps skier Po Janglles just scaranteed. I just had to share these little beauties with you guys. Shit talk. Bj Jangles has turned up the flavor this summer with the return of a fan favorite breakfast staple Now with an extra kick Sting june eighth Guests can enjoy the breakfast Bito All of this is so shiny. Every shin and gl. Every on the screen is shiny. The gloss of this thing is beautiful. Back by popular demand, it fe delivers a hearty hand held breakfast Bd angless flavor This original features country style sausage. Fluffy eggs, crispy bow rounds That's a hashbard Yeah, Mlty, Monterey Jack cheheese and southern sausage gravy all wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla and served with Texas Pat hot sauce. Now if you want to start day with a little more fire The new Fuego pair it with a utila drink. Oly a b Built on the same craveable foundation, the Fuego version add a spicy ghost pepper sauce, all wrapped in a warm red tortilla So let you know, let you know this is spicy That's how I want to start my day knowing that in four hours, it's going to be dicey What's interesting guys, and I think this is so cool is that the Bor Rito lineup is designed for convenience without sacrificing the brand's signature Yeah made from scratch quality But ising When I see this, I think ost made from scratch and I. So they're still like doing it. You know I doing it. You know how like In Stardu Valley, when it's like winter and you're just trying to get through it so that you can like get back to farming and stuff and you'll just wake up and then you'll immediately click on the bed and go right back to sleep until tomorrow. I feel like what Bojangles has offered here as a breakfast dining option is the food equivalent of that Yeah I could have one of these Tuesday morning and then Tuesddayays over Tuesday done and we're on Y journal entry for Wednesday is just like rough one yesterday. period. short day. End of entry. Hibernating. Hibernating set for twenty three and one half hours. Just enough to drive the birgejangles and back. and I didn't even get to finish the Burito before I was back asleep. Still finished a whole one of them The name burrito is great because if you say it like a normal person would say burrito, but you say it enough, it just your friends would start to worry you don't know how to pronounce burrito correctly. I have a burrito, keep I'm gonna have a burrito Bow reader A'll Yeah can I giveoney? Yeah Okay what Barido was Rito? No, no, no Rito. Our breakfast Bow Rito was so well received by guest last year that we decided to bring the heat for its return in the menu this year and the new Fuego breakfast Bow Rito does just that. says Marshall Scarbara. Mars Mice president of Menu and Culinary Innovation M That Mar Sarbght. That's Travis McMrooye magazine. Have you thought about Beau Rk Bea And just get it Maybe a cross Griffin, I got one for you too. This one is This one is just for this is just for Griffin just well, it's not just for Griffin, but was u say here I want to share it with Griffin because Griffin would would u Appreciate this story. Love Island, Griffin. it has their own drinks at scooters car All right, I don't know why But suummer loveove is in the air at Scooters Coffee with the launch of four new hot drinks. One of those is just a red Bll. Hold on. Yeah, one of yeah. there're bombshells. They can only be described as bombshells. With strawberry heart jellies swimming in a pool of strawberry and dragon frruit flavors, it's hard not to fall in love with these refreshing drinks launching june eighteenth. God, I haven't looked for a quote by Nic Loe in this there's not one. Sorry guys. There is N love it's not his show. The The matcha latte and I couldn't get it. Matcha latte with red heart jelly candies in it Unless I barked. It's upsetting. It such why would I want sucks Why would I want jelly candies? in anything, let alone my matcha latte Don't worry, Travis. they have a perfect match for you. Oh now we're tal no matcha latte is the ideal poolside companion, starring our earthy and naturally sweet matcho with a side of strawberry and dragon frruit flavors. Strawberry heart jellies pop up in this bright green drink, making you chke you to death to kill you. Disgusting Um there' you can get these bombshells at Scooters coffee locations beginning june eighteenth, Griffin. So If you dare celebrate, can I just This is This is weird to admit Do not fuck with Love Island can I say Griff me too? I've tried. It just kind of sucks It just kind of sucks. And it's weird because it's like it be like if you met someone who was like, I don't know, like a big sports guy and watched all this televised sports that there was and you were like, what about football? And that person was like, I fucking can't stand football. It sucks. I know. I like all the other stuff, but this one is not good. The host just hangs out. The host is the same age as the people on the show and she just kind of hangs out with them all the time. Where's the distinction? Oh, Mion Yeah Hy, check this out. I just wanted to let you guys know Wendy's is u Stanley Sm Mionss and monsterers meal with a new bana frostings Why did they decide do you think that a minion with a video camera pointed at me making food decisions? Eat these is the best way Maybe the best image I've ever seen. and I bet Andy Warhol wishes he had made it because it's like so good because the minion is film you're having your fifteen minions of fame right now and it's him filming you looking at the minions. That's really. They compos The composition of this is really is so good. It's really we got A big bowl of apple slices that will go untouched. We got two big long beautiful amber hued chicken tenders ofcontained Uncontained chicken tendies. We've got a big sort of twelve ouner of straight milk, it looks like in a clear plastic cup. Is it a milkshake? Is it something is it frosty? Okay, vanilla frosty and then we' got that in And a windy's cup. Then we got a little a little dipping cup of zesty ranch dipping sauce and a minion pointing Cama. It's really u It evokes the Renaissance They've also chosen the mininion who is famously yellow On kind of a very yellowish green yellow round trrce he blends in. Yeah. Yeah, it's almost like he's trying to sneak up on me and hurt me Awesome. this is Okaykay, so there's two meals You're looking at the Monsters and Minions kids meeal. this is available now And I was thinking that this isn't mature enough for my grown folks. Well yeah they don't really offer apple slices and adult meals. and I think that's bullshit. I need it the most. ye. Yes, right, I'd love to enjoy some apple slices. What a treat that would be. Remember when meals used to have desserts, you know, in my day. You're Lewish again. So the kids' meal is choice of two. Two piece chick dinner, four piece nuggets, a hamburger or a cheeseburger. Awesome Hot and crispy fries or apple bites when kids drink. they're getting the fries. I love this's not even like I love it so crazy that they put it up. Has anybody ever legitimately asked your kids No kid Ask your kids sometimes. They will laugh in face They'll stit in your face. I don't joke. I've tried at multiple locations to be like, you know what? we'll get the apples slices And the answer is always, oh, we don't have those. don' Yeah That's a joke they didn't thinkk you to ask for. They do have the choice of two chicken tenders or four chicken nuggets. They are offering you basically How how much of a chicken continuum Are you looking for? Would you like you could make Morris code. Do you want a dot of chicken or a dash of chicken? So you want to built in intermission? Yeah, exactly Uh, so the Wend' the the minions and monsters meal and there's a lot, there's a lot to offer here U let me see here. I want to show you the I have a full image here that I can share with you. Is there an adult version of this that you're Wha yes. whoa. whoa. So there's an adult meal Right? The adult meal for adults. Is it bana frosty swwirrel B big bacakingon class but spicy chicken sandwich. and that' how they do it, banana. S say banana like here. here's the thing that I really want to highlight with you guys. If you look at the bottom of the image here. Yeah, you can see the kids meld. Which are James and Gumi and Richard and Ed and Dart and Henry. All the greats. great But if you get an adult meal, Yeah Then maybe you'll get one of the adult Cds There are all doing rude gestures. Yeah best partnerships Best partnerships start with an understanding of what our fans are passionate about says Lindseay Ratkvski, the U.S. Chief markarketing Officer for the Wendy's compompany by bringing together one of the world's most beloved entertainment franchises with Wendy's iconic High quality food our customers love We're creating shared experiences that fans will go bananas for. I get it Aesome It's We can't drive this point home hard enough The kids meal toys come with six different mininion and Msters collectible toys and the adult meals come with four completely different collectible toys. in a blind box. in a blind box They're not collectible toys. You sound like a fucking idiot. They are minions and monsters, blind box collectibles. You can collect them all and unlock the fld minions. Okay You don't sorry youlay these in your China cabinet. Let's take this apart You can't have four collectibles. That's fucking crazy. You can't have four things and be like, collect them all. There's fucking four of them. They say to in the press release, they do say toys for the kids and collectibles. That's awesome. They look identical Except they have Wendy's, the adult ones have Wendy's The minions are like Wendy's food items because they adults are and they're in a blind box and the kids are in clelear packaging. You know what I mean? Yeah The adults have to guess which one they're getting. Famous like kids hate wine boxes. Yeah. and adults fucking can't get enough spepend seven dollars or something. My kid might be hugely disappointed in. Yeah, I don't mind if I do. Let's get twenty Can I say though I know one adult that is seeing the minions dressed as Wendy's food and's kind of losing his fucking mind over here. I would do anything, man. Look at him Is it J guys not see it? James looks like Weindy and Ed looks like Fries. Yeah Henry looks like a frost, arere you kidding me? It Gomy. Goomy's a bag. Gomy's the Gumi's the monster. He's the evil guy, I bet. I'm not gonna go see the fire. I bet they become friends by the end. I cannot start paying attention to the minions' trailers. I just gott to see the movies. You know what I mean? I can't I mean, if you're making a gomy drink Gam me, let me I don't think he's pure evil. Gumomy? Well, yeah, I bet he'll turn it around by the end of it. Yeah, there's pineapple minion Mishy fizz Gumomy's glimy lime. Could we have drink names that don't try to sound like they're trying to trick me into saying a slur, please? Like we just have normal, like normal names, please I m' to be canceled. He's a grimy limy. Grimy lime, Daddy. That Gomy's one grimy lime. Gyself Gomy might be something. likeike there's people listening somewhere in a different country who like he's a guy campphone. Oh no Thank you so much for listening to our podcast. It's been called my brother and my brother me since we started it And there's just no way to change it elegantly, unfortunately. R it would have called it my brother, my brother and me Yeah, they all agree. It's that one U I wanted to give a brief plug. We never do this, but our friends Weird out and Puddles Pity Party both contributed to our Candon nights video last year. And I want to say I saw them in Charleston last week and it was a great show. So you should get out there and see them If you want to laugh and have a great evening of entertainment, they don't need my plug, but here it is. I really enjoyed the hell out of it I'm wanting to make a plug and we always do this. We have merge over the macroare merge store including the makeake and Stick Sigy nototes designed by Evan Cruz And ten percent of all merch proceeds this month will be donated to Lambda Legal, a national organization working to achieve full recognition of the civil rights of LGBTQ plus people and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work. I want to do just a quick plug for if you go to the adventure zonecomic. com you can preorder the last Taz balance, graphic novel adaptation, story and song. It comes out in one month We're doing a book release event in Boston. Tickets go on sale. I mean, they're on sale right now actually, as you are hearing this. And the event is july sixteenth at seven PM at the Chevalier Theater. and each ticket comes with a signed paperback copy of story and song provided by Brookline Booksmith Well I think at Crivalier Cheivalier S seal Salia Well it did. I mean, If you locals know what it but it means, you know L I know what it is. It n nice kids meember. Come on down Chevrot the Chevrot Theater? Chevrolet Theater? isn't sponsored. I got in a big box of copies of the book yesterday and it's the heaviest thing in the universe because this book is so fucking thick with emotion and story And song and song and art and I can't fucking wait for this book to come out, y'all Throw it Thanks to Montaine for these for theme song My L lifeife Is Bet withith you We are associated of Montaine and's allll say, if you have a chance to get out to see them in concert You should do so I have I would love to see Montane in concert Me too. M take Just the cities where we live. And yeah, I'm gonna to throw our book