Closing Remarks and Final Farewells

This is exactly right Summmer is for adventures, road trips, and adding a whole lot of miles to your car. That's why it's worth stopping at Valvaline Instant Oil Change first. Their train techs help you get road trip ready with an oil change and an eighteen point maintenance check included with every oil change, checking your tire pressure, wipers, lights and more. Valvaline Instant Oil change checks complete over two hundred seventy hours of training, so your car' in capable hands. Best part, you can stay in your car and you're in and out in about fifteen minutes. Valine Instant Oil Change Change wisely. Goodbe. If audio books are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them, you should check out a podcast called Ears Say, The Audible and I Heart Audioobook Club hosted by Cal Penn. Each episode spotlights standout audioobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres, sci fi, comedy, romance, thrillers, and more, with Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to. It's a fun easy way to discover your next great audio book Check out Ears sayay on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts Goodbye. Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to fifty percent off select jewelry, featuring personalized pieces to must have summer favorites. Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in store or online now through july fifth. Terms and conditions applly see Pandora dot net for more details. Goodbye. Goodbye This may surprise you, but clothes that feel good and look good don't have to be mutually exclusive. Designs that make you feel as good as you look is what Hillhouse is known for. Hillhouse Home invented the viral nap dress. Hillhouse makes fun, versatile fashion that elevates your look. I now own three nap dresses. I love them. They are so comfy and cute, pockets for pockets for D anda fifteen percent off your first order of a hundred dollars reward at hillhousehome dot com with code MFM fifteen. That's MFM fifteen for fifteen percent off at hillhousehome d. comot Goodbye. byye Hello and welcome. My favorite murder. The minisode. That's right. That's right. This is the minisode. We tell you things about yourself that you didn't even know you wanted to know. Are you ready for a little bit of self examination? Can. we. Do this. Finally get you to admit your side of things The first Okay, yes, I will go first. Thank you. The subject line of this first email is raabies at Church camp All your favorite taka And it starts what's up, hotties. Oh, cute. No time to waste gird your loins for a wild tale. When I was eleven, like any good Christian child, I was sent to church camp However, I had developed a reputation for running into troubles just a year before Troubles. Troubles. multiple Just a year before I had been sent to the hospital with a back injury after a pool game of playing in the swimming pool of chicken gone wrong where I nearly drown Holy shit. So true troubles. yeah The camp setting was at a state park in the middle of the Tennessee woods. So the next year when my mother got a phone call from a park ranger, oh, so where that injury happened. Oh okay. was in the middle of a state park in Tennessee.ot it. So the next year when my mother got a phone call from a park ranger stating that I had had an accident in the park pool It felt like deja vu My mother firmly stated You must be mistaken. Did you find some old documents or something? That accident happened a year ago. Yeah, we were going through some paperwork and we were like, hey, emergency. C nine one call them immediately. Hold me get this cobweb off. Call nine hundred eleven ry making fun of their mom. It says, The calm Ranger responded to my mother with No, ma'am. This morning at ten AM your daughter Sarah had an incident in the pool involving an animal attack What? Dant utoo to my eleven year old perspective. I was swimming. I like It was a perfectly written email I was swimming in the pool minding my business when I heard someone yell, Get it out, get it out I was curious and swam over to the growing crowd surrounding a brown dot squirming in the water. I pushed through the crowd and approached the scanger. There's your problem right there. R You gott to be involved. Hang back, Mbe get out of the pool. Run the opposite way. Yeah. You don't need to be up in there. You're eleven. I pushed through the crowd and approached this creature. I wasn't wearing my glasses. then why? Okay? I don't wantan to yell at a child. I mean I do. But to shouldn't So to my naked eyes, it appeared simply to be a bird. in my mind I was an animal saavior to all creatures great and small. An animal saavior to all creatures great and small is italicized. Amazing So into my hands it went. However, as I exited the pool, I began to notice the features of this creature were not that of a bird but rather a curved nosose back. No No. The second my brain realized what it was it awoke from its post drowning nap and began to bite me on my thumb I panicked as the pain surged from its teeth digging into me. I looked around for help, but none came so my. Because everyone knows not the touch of fat, everyone wears their glasses on in the pool Everyone with good vision stayed in a circle around the back. That's right. didid not break through. I relate to this person so much. Stop breaking through I looked around for help, but none came. So my solution was to rip it from my flesh and throw it across the concrete pools. Oh my go. We get it Yeah tell lot of sense The rest is a blur, but a ranger came and captured the bat and took it away. I didn't know the procedures of such attacks, but what I did know is that I was never allowed in the park pool again. Wow bn at age eleven. I don't know if that's her fault. It's, do we have any adults present keeping an eye on everything? Sounds like I bet you there was a fifteen year old up on that lifeguard stand Here was also just watching the kids circle up around the bat The worst part of this story is that my parents got a fateful call from the park labs and were told that they had less than seventy two hours to get me to the hospital and get me vaccinated because the bat tested positive babies. That's like a hardcore treatment too, right? Oh yeah, very painful. Yes We had to call Vanderbilt, Children's Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee to make sure they even had the vaccine to give me because it wasn't every day that they had to administer raabies shots. Oh my God. It's real old fashioned After twenty three shots. Oh my Godd. I was in the clear of dying from rabies. To this day, I always get weird looks when people see my vaccine records. so yeah That man doesn't have shit on me They said crap, but I changed it. Yeah, because it's funny here. Thank you for being here and telling your stories. I'm a private duty nurse and my patient and I love to listen every morning and it makes our days better. A. Hi. Hi. Stay sexy and stay out of the church camp pool, Sarah Where was Jesus in that moment Not on that lifeguard stand. Watching over the lifeguard. Who isn't swimming next to you? Who watches the watchers? Okay, that's great. This is called Broadmore Hospital celebrity spotting Hi, Karen in Georgia, greetings from Kent, the Garden of England. What news from Kent I live in the county town Maidstone. You did it out of Game of Thrones, which is a bit of a shitole It doesn't sound like it. But it does have a prison where Reggie Cray was incarcerated for a spell. But that's not the reason I'm writing. The Ce. The Crays were the crazy twin like mober brothers Mbsters Or were they twins or were they just they're close in age? Yeah, something like that. And they like terrorized that Ebody by being. But also had a really great nightclub Watch Tom Hardy. in legend or legendary. Right. He plays both parts. Okay My sister, Kate and I are avid, day one listeners and have always wished we had a story for you. When I heard the Shakespearet Broadmore episode, episode five hundred thirty two, I realized that finally, this is my time to shine. Kate will be fuming. I've beaten her to it if you read this out. Nice Go to hell. We love starting sibling fights. We come from a very large family with a, shall we say, colorful past. When I was a kid, I was a keen, nerdy letter writer. and one of my favorite correspondents was my uncle, Jeff, but with the G, Jff Joff, Joff. When sober and medicated, Joff was warm It's not really I know. Joff was warm, kind company proone to lavish gestures and possessed a dry dark sense of humor. When he wasn't, things were harder for him, and he spent many spells at Her Majesty's pleasure, including some stints at Broadmore I don't know exactly how he came to be there, but he was definitely nearer the June and Jennifer end of the spectrum than the hardcore Rongins. Rongins Rongins But anyyway, one day, when I was about sixteen, I went with another of my uncles to visit Jeff there in the central hall where I think the Shakespeare performance must have been held It was great to see him and he was calm, genial company. He bought me flowers and a very expensive bottle of perfume. and says, I don't know how he got a hold of it, but I do know that I couldn't wait to crow about it to my pals The wording of this email is great. Sorry Gift giving from within He had a t traded that like cigarettes or something like that. That's really nice. Right? Yeah. The whole thing was a young murdarina's daydream at the races My other uncle and I were not the only visitors and the hall was pretty crowded Just over the way was Ronnie Cray and visiting associates looking for all the world like a twinkly grandpa with his smart zot suit and teddy boy Brill creamed hair. It was nineteen ninety one, so pretty anachronistic, but very dapper He still was like getting dressed up and people were still coming to see him. they were. And then across the room staring all caps right at me was none other than Peter Sutcliffe, AKA the Yorkshire Ripper. When I was growing up, he was the absolute number one fear of young women in the UK. and I am not joking when I say his dead cold stare made my blood run absolutely icy and the kicker His visitor was a beautiful young woman. What was she thinking? Jeff struggled in the outside world and is long gone now, but I like to think he was in the audience of the play. and I know he would have found it to be Balm for his troubled soul Stay sexy and don't ever lock eyes with a serial killer. back. Oh like What an experience of like going into a place like that where you are There's somebody that You're there for a real reason. Yeah. but you know where you are and you know what you're looking at. I mean, how scary for the people that are there not because they've committed any crimes, but ust right? need some help. Yeahah Rodmore G gets brought up a lot in this podcast. Yeahah, it fascinating. find someone that used to work there or go there a live show My MFM and Fraudmore? No, just kidding just shut it down. We just end up getting all of it shut down. We are not the cramps. This is not Summers for adventures, road trips, and adding a whole lot of miles to your car. That's why it's worth stopping at Valvalinee Instant Oil change first. If you need an oil change, make the smart stop at Valvalinee inststant oil change before you hit the highway. Their trained techs can help you get road trip ready with an oil change and an eighteen point maintenance check included with every oil change, checking your tire pressure, wipers, lights, and more. That means they're checking important things before you're halfway to your aunt's house with no cell service. And these aren't just any techs. Valvaline Instant oil change techs complete over two hundred seventy hours of training So your car's in capable hands. The best part, you can stay in your car and you're in and out in about fifteen minutes. So before your next long summer ride, pull into Valvaline instant oil change. Valvaline Instant oil change, change wisely. G. B. In the summer, healthy habits are easy to keep until you leave the house. You walk out the door and the next thing you know, you're barefoot and ferl in a gas station candy aisle. That's why Kachava makes it easy to maintain your routines. Kachava is an all in one nutrition shake and now it comes in new travel packs. Every packet gives you a simple shake with protein, fiber, vitamins, and minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes, and more. They're easy to toss into a bag, easy to take on the road, and a simple way to stick with your normal wellness habits even when your schedule changes. Man, that cachava matcha in the individual packs is like my dream snack. It's exactly what I need and want in between the like greatreat meals I'm eating for lunch and the snacks I would have had anyways that are terrible for me, like this is something I feel like I'm treating myself when I take. You're treating yourself to vitamins, fiber, all these things that your body really wants and needs and kind of craves that it does seem like it takes a big effort to get. So now you're getting it all in one packet and in a little drink you like Take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava dot com and use codeMFM for fifteen percent off your first order. That's Kachava KaVa dot com codeMFM. Good Be. If you're always on the lookout for a great audiob book or just want help figuring out what to listen to next, there's a podcast you should know about. It's called EarsSay, the Audible and I Heart Audio book Club hosted by Cal Penn. Each episode takes a closer look at some of the most talked about new audiob books on Audible, spanning a wide range of genres from sci fi and literary fiction to rom coms, thrillers, and comedy. Cal is joined by guests who dig into what these stories are about what makes them stand out as audioobooks and why they're connecting with listeners right now. If you're looking for your next listen, this is a great place to start. Listen to EarsSay, the Audible and IHart Audiobook Club on the IiHart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Goode byye. Okay, the subject line of this email is Energy vampire teacher I went and it just gets right into it. I went to a small high school, maybe one hundred and fifty students in the Midwest On the last day of the school year, I confessed to one of my teachers that I hadn't completed my final project comparing a historically important piece of literature to a modern version. So he asked me a couple of questions Did you read the books Yes Did you learn something Yes Okay, then you passed. High S school anxiety procrastination somehow won that day. Amazing. Years later, while watching the intro to the first episode of a new TV show, I had to pauseit in disbelief when I saw and later learned that the very same teacher Croach was now the one and only our favorite energy vampire, Colin Robinson of what we do in the Shadows He was a teacher? Yeah I love I love fucking show so much. And I love that guy. He's so funny. He is so good All of them are so good on that. ha to watch the TV show what we do in the shadows. feel I am jealous of you that you get a start overver. You have seasons and seasons to binge. You have Matt Berry to learn about and then enjoy for the first time. Oh my God Yes, and he's just still this guys I don't know his name, but that's amazing.. I know. God. And it's very posusive that he's not a household name. Colin Robinson, I would have been like ab totally. And I thought I would have known his name and so I'm surprised. roach I honestly hope that he doesn't remember me now because my anxiety brain still recalls with too much clarity all the ways I embarrassed myself that year and probably irked him in one way or another in other chance meetings throughout the remainder of my teens. I guess he has more important things to think about, but the high schooler part of my brain will always worry about what people thought of me twenty is years ago. I first began listening to my favorite murder right after moving into a house in the woods, so sorry I missed that little tidbit of advice to stay out of the forest Your voices have continued to keep me company throughout the years, and yes, I am still in the forest, and I am still knock on wood, fine And then it just says A A That's so cool. He was a teacher. He was probably so over it at that point. He was like, didid you read Did you learn Th that's en God bless. I have an audition. Yeah for this show. He was an improv guy for a long time. He was an improv guy and he did this really amazing thing because my friends ran the foundound footage festival. Oh yeah. So they got the footage of him as a fake expert, I think he was a fake yoyo expert on local news. That's kind of where he first got discovered because he was so he just ruined the morning news on purpose and so realistically. amazing. Yeah, so amazing. So good U Okaykay, I have two left. I'm not gonna tell you the name of this one Hi ladies and co. That's a good one ye. Love y'all lots. Thanks for being Brad. let's get into it. My dad was raised and lived in the suburbs of Chicago for his entire life. When my dad was in his high school days in the seventies, he and his friends decided to build and sell large speakers. With this quote lucrative business in mind, the group started to collect supplies They needed a particular type of foam to fill the speakers with, and they found a local junkyard that would sell it to them for cheat The owner said for twenty bucks the boys could take as much foam as they could carry. The owner called his brother over and told the brother to show my dad and his friends where the phone was located. They started walking with the brother and the guys all got strange vibes from him immediately. An he guesses yet well Fam is it one nothing to do with foam Hillside sprlers. And this is it's in Chicago. Okay. All my dad's friends were avoiding talking to the brother because of how creepy he was. But am thinking about what we do in the shadows But My dad, being a smart and savvy businessman, knew the more he got on this guy's good side, the more opportunity they would have in the future to grow their speaker business. And that was how easy it was to make money back then. You just made a thing. Out of nothing out trash. You made something and then you were a nice man to another man. Yeah. And then good luck with everything. R My dad's schmoozing and kindness led to this guy eventually softening a bit to my dad, but only my dad After they collected all the phone they could carry, my dad thanked this man and said they would be back again for more After building one to two speakers and being immediately bored of the project, the guys quit their speaker building business and therefore never returned to the junkyard. Years later, my dad saw a news report about a man suspected of domestic terrorism and murder. He recognizes the man being fingered, but can't quite place him, and it bothers him for months. Months, maybe even close to a year later, my dad realizes that the man was the one who worked in the junkyard. The man was none other than the unibomber Ted Kazinski Really? I thought he was He targeted professors, but he was he himself wasn't. He Yes, he went to Harvard. rememember? they did the they think that they did all these LSD experiments on him and o him all And remember his like brother' the one who turned him in. Turned him in. Yeah. But I just never realized he had like a junkyard face S. that was deep cut Theor yard they picked up the phone from was owned by Kosinsky's brother. He and his wife would later turn Kosinsky into the authorities This is just one of the many stories my dad shared with me over the years. My father was always into true crime and mysteries, later going on to become a lawyer and pass his love for mysteries ono me. My dad became a well respected lawyer, working for the state's attorney's office for many years, being on staff while cases like John Wayne Gacy and other notorious Chicago and area murders were being tried and sentenced So of course, he had many crazy stories and sometimes insider info On Chicago land Crimes. Can we have that, please? No, actually. You legally canot. All right. He ended his career at our country's courthouse where he worked for over a decade. He passed away in August of twenty nineteen after a long battle with skin cancer. Shortly after, one of the halls in our county's courthouse was named after him in honor of his devoted heart to seeing liberty and justice for all to forever impact on our county, our family and the lives of so many, I am proud to be part of his legacy. Karen You sharing your Karen,. You sharing your journey of losing your mother to a disease where you don't recognize your family member has touched me and made my journey of being a caretaker for a sick parent feel a little less isolating. Thank you both for making me laugh on tough days and being an escape from reality when I needed one while taking care of him for the last few years of his life Stay sexy, don't buy foam from serial killers. and most importantly, get your yearly checkup at your dermatologist Katie God. Baby, so many lessons to be learned from this one. So many lessons, but also what an incredible thing to like have a dad that worked so well Didn't just work hard. Yeah didnn't just like devote himself for whatever his reasons are, but like to the point where they're like, oh, we're going to give him a wing. We're going to name a wing after him. Ted Kinsk who famous hated everyone. Oh yeah, fucking like you Oly you. You kissed up to somebody that was unkiss upable too. Or like you were just like you treated them like a human being enough that they were like, this guy's pretty cool. Yeah filed Thank you, Katie. Good job, Katie Summers for adventures, road trips and adding a whole lot of miles to your car. That's why it's worth stopping at Valvalinee Instant oil change first. If you need an oil change, make the smart stop at Valvalinee Instant oil change before you hit the highway. Their trained techs can help you get road trip ready with an oil change and an eighteen point maintenance check included with every oil change, checking your tire pressure, wipers, lights, and more. That means they're checking important things before you're halfway to your aunt's house with no cell service. And these aren't just any techs. Valvaline Instant oil change techs complete over two hundred seventy hours of training So your car's in capable hands. The best part, you can stay in your car and you're in and out in about fifteen minutes. So before your next long summer ride, pull into Valvaline Instant Oil change. Valaline Instant oil change, change wisely. G Be. If you're always on the lookout for a great audioobook or just want help figuring out what to listen to next, there's a podcast you should know about It's called Earsay, The Audible and I Heart Audio Book Club hosted by Cal Penn. Each episode takes a closer look at some of the most talked about new audioob books on Audible, spanning a wide range of genres from sci fi and literary fiction to rom coms, thrillers, and comedy. Cal is joined by guests who dig into what these stories are about what makes them stand out as audioobooks and why they're connecting with listeners right now. If you're looking for your next listen, this is a great place to start. Listen to EarsSay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the IiHart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture, you either inherit something from your parents or you just drag something in from the street like you're some kind of hipster raccoon. When you're ready for furniture that you actually like, check out Article. Article offers the style and durability you want at a price that actually makes sense. They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time There's no filler. Every item is chosen for craftsmanship, design, and lasting value. And with Article's thirty D satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. Plus, Article's customer careare team is available seven days a week offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services to help you get your home just right Yes, please. Don't we all kind of need that, like the eye of an expert? Yeah. Where should I put this and also what should I move here and there? And what should I even get? but Article has it all, so you can get whatever there. That's right. You could be like, I have this thing, shouldh I get this one or that one? Totally. Am I scandy or am I mid century? Help me be Bohoic, please. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table, or bed, head over to article dot com d Goodbye. Here's my last one So in honor of Father's Day We're're talking about champion Fathers, right coming which is coming up. The subject line of this The American version I couldn't read to you, but here's the British version The subject line is the ultimate Cunt Now do it Do with that, editorors, what you will. Okay, so it says, Hey to all the pets and people at my favorite murder. Firstly, I'd like to say how much your podcast has helped with some of the hardest times in my life. I now listen while making ashes jewelry. and then in parentheses it says, yeep likeike the cremations of people and pets. Oh. So you can have a little permanent That them you just could't look up reallyally? I didn't realize you were morbid as fuck. Well I was just like Elvis has been gone for too long, so you can't have. I h is ashious Do you really? Of course. Oh Youuun barium N whereere am I gonna I don't live anywhere long enough to like Up at Forest lawn, lookook, I'm not going to fight with you on Mike about this, but you should have buried him in a human He's on a shelf. It looks lovely. Well, now you can make a jewelry Am man. You've got a friend in the business. Okay, sorry My dad was always doing something dodgy for quick cash. One of his many great get rich quick schemes involved my brother and myself He had decided that selling cigarettes he had purchased in France would be his new money making idea. Oh ad So this isn't just your average. I think that we've gotten a lot of trash dad's stories where it's like he forgot to pick us up from skating or whatever. And this is like, I think this is might go into a new level of British trash. It's actually illegal at this We're getting into illegal territory. We're We're getting creative with how we're going to be trashing So it says The only problem being that you could only bring a few cartons without having to pay tax coming back to the UK. That's when the Baguette trip started. You would take us both over on the car ferry to France, fill the back of the car fully with crreates of cigarettes and then place a blanket on top and tell me and my brother to pretend to be asleep when the customs person would come and look in the car. My dad would innocently say that his two young children were asleep in the back and they would let us pass without any search. And then in parentheses it says this was the early nineties. Oh my God. This happened regularly a few years. Oh my God. What did me and my brother get out of this trip You guessed it, a fresh baguette So we're Iiv in. Come on, kind not worth it. Get some of that French butter, you're all set. Hell yeah I wonder what my teachers must have thought when they asked what we did most weekends, and I answered with, we went to get the baguettes It wasn't all that bad, as on one of the Baguette trips, he surprised us with a trip to Disneyland, Paris.. It was probably our cut of the money for the cigarettte smoing operation. We had been crucial to carrying out. Not sure how or why the trip stopped. He probably found his next big idea and moved on