Father's Day Gifts and Closing

Well, hello you little chipmugs?ll I let like a gymum today Your breast fls like that pancake. L that pancake. I didn't say anything else. That pancake's delicious, it's what I make for my son, Animal Carbeel Okay, well listen, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Newly Parents. On the menu today, we are talking about the sweet, glorious smell of your own father. disgusting. dis our f's say is father's name? And also we have a story about salmon sperm. All of that coming up in the show. Welcome, come on in. It's Nly parents Remember to subscribe I'm Jamie Ling, and I'm Sky Day now R day We're ready! We are ready I'm gonna tell you Yeah we are. I love that you put socks on because otherwise your feet are just constantly everyone's face. But these socks are mildly offensive and I'm just not sure why because they only come just above my ankle They come just above. There's something about a man in a suit with a sock, that's just ick And I'll tell you what else and I'm looking back the room because I'm so sorry. Oh no, I think you will the momum around me. but I can't bear a trainer sock on a man Wait hang on. so there's something about a man with a sock and a suit is an ick. Sorry, I'm giving you the ick right now. I've gota refrain that. Like I don't refrain refphrase Yeah. It's not a trainer sock. It's like a ballet pump sock. You know, the girlies wear them. like we have like a If you're wearing a dolly shoe, which I also think's mildly chy, sorry girls. Th like little socks ye. I do you remember I don't know what box. When you were a girl and you used to go like try on shoes, you were given like literally a granny sock, which was like a tight a sock that was a tight. It was like skin color and so like And everyone in the in the shoesck shop had probably worn it and you had to put it on to try on a bloody shoe when you were like going to school. Yeah. Anyway, a trainer sock Ballally pump sock or to boy is like No. So what I'm wearing right now is an ick it's actually not that icky. don't know what I don't know what's wrong with it. It just looks very like wear your shoes, but I guess none of us are wearing shoes. I feel like I'm dressing like a middle aged man at the moment. I'm wearing a cardigan I love a cardigan. I'm wearing a lot of cardigans. I don't want people to come for me because I know you will say that I mean to Jamie and look, I'm really, really not. But like these green trousers, we've got to find another pair It's the Izzy Miyaki. You're wearing fucking slippers. Look at you Okay, hang new topob. Never wor onn it before. All right, this is I'm gonna to be honest with you, right? Okay. Sfie Sfie looks pretty smoke showow now, right? You look like smoke show? No, no, we can't talk about that now because I have a really puffy face because I've had prorophyo done It sos Rollen. Yeah, but listen you look smokehow all the time. you look great When people see you on the street, you look great When people see in photos, man, you look hot. let's go, girl. Now me tell you when people see me on the street, they don't think I I like ha How they shouted They walk around with like full gender eyebrows and like white faceed tanned body. Like it's not a look like sick in my hair, lies sick in my hair. L all different clothes on. You look hot. you look hot. so I'm like I'm like I'm like at work, right? And I'll see on soophie's like posted a photo of her like A little bit of a firstirst trp girl, is like safey like in a bikini. Anyway, I'm like, man it looks so My wife is so hot I then come home, I open the door. Sophie's in a dressing gown. dressing gown. But the dressing gown is like thick. You hate my dressing gowns. like you You need to get a group with the dressing. You look like Mrs. Doubtfire in it. Like guys he actually's like horrific about the dressing girls. You look I can't describe what you look like though. It's I'm gonna pay It's also also summer. It's like hot. Yeah, and our house is freezing cold. It's not hot, it's raining and you refuse for any heating on and you open every window because you're Scottish. Like the house is b. I'm freezing, Ziggy's freezing. Why is every window open? It' not cold. S he's not a cld he's has roast to on He's not roasting h. We're not gonna to go down this route again. He's absolutely roasting. I want to just walk through what my dress and gownn looks like because it is really ugly. It's like an oat colour. I would say it's oat, it's not beige,'s not it's oat. the same color The most bland of all colors. Bandest of all colors. It's like, you know those anxiety blankets that like kids or babies or whatever, people have like they're thick like Yeah dressing out but like almost more fuzzy Almost like what you'd think a poodle's hair would be like if it was like unbelievable description. unbelievable descriion On the top of the head, you know the little poodle on top of the head No, no, no, that's not what it's like. It's like the poodle on the body that's not been permed. Anyway or blow dry, like a natural poodle, like an ungroomed poodle. And I love it. It goes on my jeans, it goes over my jumper. it goes over my jum. I love that dressing down. And then I'm like, d, I'm really into like lightening my eyebrows because God knows what's happened to them over the years. L they used to be the same color as my hair but No, okay, that's a lie. My hair's died. So I'm not gonna lie to you guys U So I'm lightening them, but alas, no one tells you that when you lighten your eyebrows you put the toner on them, right? So when I lighten them, they are like, o gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous shade of copper. L that is the only way to describe it. They are as ginger as ginger can bloody be. And then I put on a nice ashy toner and the toner doesn't last because I put so many creams and oils on and who knew that oils and creams take the tonone away. So every fucking day I'm re toning these fucking eyebrows. So when I'm not doing anything in front of a camera, I'm leaving them copper. I'm walking around the streets of London with my baby with these ginger slugs on my eyebrows and my blonde and brown, all sorts of. I'm like fifty shades of like God knows in my hair. Well, welcome back to Nly parents Eota Welcome back your old fuckers. Welcome back to your old fuckers. Welcome back. Hey, listen, it's a Father's Day episode today. Happy Father's Day. Thanks, so appreciate. Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there, you are all incredible. Sometimes I feel like dad some understandably don't get the The sort of credit sometimes they deserve. Can I say that? Yeah, you can say that, but it is also like hit and miss because A lot of the time, it's like, o my God, my husband's so great. He like looked after the baby for half an hour. It's like, why are they fucking great for doing that? We look after them for the other twenty three and a half hours in the day. Like what But having said that, fathers are great and they are amazing and they should That and that's not all fathers who only look after their kid f f. Okay, so because we're having a good day about it, why don't you give me some compliments? Okay . I think you are amazing Mazigi. I think you love him so much. I think you' almost you love him so much that you almost not try too hard in that way. I'm meaning like You should just allow your natural instincts to go. I think you're sori you're so desperate to be such a good dad, which is so sweet that I think you like make it harder for yourself because you are amazing and like you don't have to Like you don't have to try so hard, like you naturally are amazing. When do I when do I try so hard? Do I feel like I do try too hard And I think he notices it I think you're like worried that you like hold him wrong or something. L you can just hold him in the way you're holding him. Like he's robust. My boy is B boy L he's okay Can you tell me the story which happened It's actually one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life So if you went to go and have salmon sperm injected into her eyes or underneath your eyes and you took you just had it all done guys. And you took one of your best friends Willis, who also does your hair with you. No, it didn't he also wanted to go get s Salmsperm, which I'm sure he's gonna fucking about me telling everyone. but yeah, he wanted to go get salmonsperm his eyes. So we're getting the salmon bperm done right and Yeah, it's painful, but I've also just pushed out a baby so like it's fine. And Budd is it like, o He's getting it injectenting. He's o you know, he's like a six foot three guy and he's like, I was like, fucking out, calm down it. like you need to relax. I was like, yeah, it's a bit painful, laughing. like tears streaming down his face, streaming. and then like my ran outw, he's Oh man She's like So what are you doing later then he's like no, noah. What is he saying? shouldhould it be can't go shouldn't be this is it going to be this painful? I was like, Oh my God, you need to chill out laughing. Anyway, we leave and like we go to this deellli and we get this lovely sandwich. And by the way, the minute that injection's done There is no pain. like there is no fucking pain You're in and you' out and it's great. And I'm eating this sandich and he's like, I just say, I'm absolutely dead. I need to I need to close my eyes. I'm like, why?'s like I think all those injections think on my adrenaline and going It's like the pain it's made me so sleepy. I was like, Ohh my God, are you okay? Soon goes on. He drives me home, right? And he's like, they's on the wedday and I was like It's like, Are your eyes hurting? I wasm like, No, but you know, ' we're so British and like whatever. We don't really say the truth. so I'm like, yeah, mine are hurting too he's I They're meant to be hurting this much And then he takes me out nly. didid he not say I was so tired? He said He, I'm so tired. and then he takes me. said He said I'm so tired. I think He like He said so tot. I think just react Oh guys dve And he just went so silent. he was like I'm so tired.er. Anyway. four hours later he text me. he's like, how are your eyes doing? I'm like, they're fine. He's like, I've been asleep for four hours. I'm like what the fuck is going on with me. Next day. S PM in the evening My eyes are in bits. A yours? I'm like, no, he's like you think this. And two hours later, my eyes are in absolute tatters are yours. I was like, no, there's nothing wrong with my fuck eyes. Anyway, don' know what's wrong with him? I think he just bwed his eyes but it really se me The fact he's just been like walking around in a dressing g for the p last two days Oh my God, it's good Is it that painful I think it is. Gs gott to be It's not painful at all. like the salmon sperm is really stingy. It feels like bees sinks in your skin. People inject salmon sperm into their face. Trout sperms make be even better I went to yourour friend Ell. and I I think I've said this I had the laser treatment, right? We it again on Saturday. I just had this laser treat which is nothing and I know everyone thinks. Do youve had bot doogs I haven't literally, I've done nothing. A head can move, everything can move, everythingvery's fine, no fricaking filler or phillo. I haven't had filler. You have had prorofidos. I had Profilo like a year ago, yes. I had profido because it was quite nice. actuallyually, Elle called me up and she was like, Is everything cry? I was like, Yeahah, she was like, Oh, well we've just had Elle, Jamie's PA call in and say Jamie needs an emergency prorofido I was like, No, he doesn't. And she was like, what's it for? I'll tell you why what' it supposed to be I know why becausecause she gets and it's it 'ause my face looked like it melted. So you called my friend who's got like the biggest weight this in the world. I to Let me in because I need an emergency one. one hundred percent. And anyway, so but I went and had laser, whatever that thing was underneath my cheeks, whatever Oh, that's ziggy I mask I again. D't going to say hi to quickly. go on, honey Go and say hi to All right, so we're going to keep this in. Soophie's just gone to go and check on Ziggy Um because we had a little cry upstairs And she'll be back in just a little bit of a second Hey sister How is the little man just woke up he's really teething. That's the problem. I tell you what, talking about like That's what's saying So with the laser, right on my face that I had It was so unbelievably painful I don't know how you do Don't mean, it's soable. I know what that laser is, it shocks you because it's like No, it's painful. It is painful. Right flashing lights in your face. Also, you had a hair transplant, so like surely you're used to that because that is literally like a follicle out of your hair and like sewing it into your Isn't it How painful was the hair transplant on a scalatter wanted turn? My hair transplant was Yeah, it was pretty painful. The t was like Wh you givven like a Zan or something? H it I can't A I gonna talk about with this? It was years ago. It was years and years. What we should really do is put the photo view with it on because that was absolutely a shocker. All right, okay, do you know what? Sirt? Let's just talk about it Many years ago, many years ago, many years ago, my friend Rodney phoned me up. He's gonna fucking love that. like did he whatever. My phone my friend Rodney phoned me up And he was like, do you want to go and get a hair transplant in Nottingham The capital of hair transplants Hey And I was like All right I guess I will. What age are we? twenty. twenty seven. No. twenty seven. twenty nine. And I know why because I knew you when you had the hair transplant because you wore a cowboy hat for about three months. and I was like, what the fuck's going on? All right, here we go twenty nine then I I think I was twenty eight. He were twenty eight. I think I was twenty eight.way just also want to caveat this with, and we can put up another photo. I didn't really need a hair transplant. I had like a little bit No, I had a little bit of a receding hairline. That was it, like most men But as most men realize losing your hair, you become very conscious of losing your hair I'd also tried like the drops on your hair to grow them and it made me feel a bit anxious. So I decided not to do that. So I went down the rooutad of having a hair transplant. I had a hair transplant but my hair transplant only did the front of my head. So the very front of my head here I thought a hair transplant was going to be like getting like some sort of like tattoo. I was like this is like going to be easy. We up in Nottingham Right Sory, you went for like a consultation first? Nope. straight in. Right. No consultation.oke bang in. I will say your hair transfant's very good. Yeah, bang in Umi with straightin boom. no consultation, no nothing. We got to this person's house, we got a discount because it was two of us. That's already. Your house? you did it in their house. We walked through their kitchen We falked through someone's kitchen. No you fucking. I'm not joking I' not We went into someone's house. Sortly that's not leger. And I think that family was like having breakfast. Like honestly, it was h a bit weird. and we got a discount. got a discount And just a caveat. D did it in their living room? In their back room, they had like surgery. like This sounds quite human centipede. I then woke up and I was attached to Rodney's arshole. L and behold, I went straight into it. When you have a hair transplant, what they have to do is they have to like inject your head with local anesthetic, right so you don'tall asleep, you're awake. And then they punch holes in it Right How with what a needle? With like a needle and it sounds like it sounds like there that you're when you step on snow like That's what it feels like it sound. So they create follicules in your scalp. Yeah in the front bit. And then they do something called drilling where they take out the fo each individual hair follicle from your head. I did one thousand two hundred hair follicles. So that is like nothing, zero amount. like really nothing And that's what I did to just do a tiny bit at the front of my head, right? D you a level two pay at the two pay Just a little quiff in the front. I really wanted to quiff. yeah a little quiff in the front of my head Anyway, u Like it takes a lot you're in the chair for like six hours. And at five hours hourion, what are you giing for pain? Local anesthetic. Nothing like a valyum or anything. Well, what happened was this is that we' got to five hours and then the local anesthetic runs out because they can't give you anymore. So I was just sitting there in the chair where they were just putting it into my head and I was like this is Horrendous. I finish because I only had small hair follicles. I get up and' like, than God I walk into the room where Rodie iss doing. There's two surgeries in the back of this p. each came from one to she's doing him then doing me, doing him then doing me Yeah one person And then there were like some nurses around. It was very weird the whole thing Anyway, Rodney I go to the room with Rodney and Rodney is g Rodney is gripping the two sides of the thatat and he's going Do it I'm punching another one you going Do it! I you in another one They sounds so underair. Well, and then you walked out with like a bandana of like plaster across your head. Oh? A whole head. a whole head. What from your neck? A you l Yeah around a whole head and like like like Like like you were a mumm Anyway did Anyway, anyway, she also gave us some by the way, she's a legit doctor all wor on herself. She gave us some I think it was like I don't know like some sort of like relaxance because it was quite a stressful situation. She gave us some relaxance and She said, One thing you've got to do is this is you got to wake up every two hours to spray she gave me a water and can, like a spray be spray in your hair.ake up every for Clora. Wake up every two hours to spray salt water on your head and then so just heal it. So sleep tonight. And you also have to lie on your back facing up. You can't lie on your front and And I was like absolutely fine, don't wor Got home So tired, so exhausted, popped one of these relaxants and went to bed facing up. I woke up twelve hours later. twelve hours later, with my head in the pillow As I woke up I went shhit rubbed all the hair follicles. Honestly it looked like I had murdered someone under my pillow But now look at me, I have loads of hairs this time. Oh my go, so you didn't have the bandage on when you went to bed. No, I took it off. But that's just stupid. I think you would have been told to keep it on, wouldn' have been n How many have I just revealed all that on the podcast? But hey, listen, whatever, right? But the good news is is what happened was they took your follicles from the back, which were like thicker, darker hairs. So now just your little tupeate is like a mar I would say it's ub hair almost And the rest of your hair is quite fair and thin Yeah. Yeah. so two problems with this, right? Yeah, exactly as you said. Firstly, the hair follicles are darker, so I look like I have a moustache at the front of my head, which is actually a bit annoying. And secondly, I think at some point my hair is gonna start receding backwards, so I'm just to be left with basically like just a quiff at the front of my head. isn Now you're too late on to get the hair and put it in the top bit of the head because that bit too late It isn't recceeding a little bit, isn't it? No It's not. No, it's not. It's not at all It's all. It's an all. It's no, it's not. It's absolutely not. It's not. Apparently sometimes it can grow back curly ight If you had straight hair, could go back cur, if you had cury hair you could go back straight. If I ever need more hair follicles, I'll come to you, honey. That's true. I got a full head of hair. You have a full head of hair Oh man. Tell me hse, what else is happening this week for you? G give it to me sister. Anything else? I don't know. Don't ask me that. Oh by the way, by the way, I've worked out that I love the smell of asparagus pea Divine I had asparagus the other night, you made it for me. Oh my God, that is so gross and you love the smell of suwage. actually love the smell of seewwage. Do you not love the smell of Ziggy's poo th that? No, don't like the smell ofziggy's poo. So, what do you like the smell of you love the smell of farts? I know guys, he does No, no, I don't love this oneell of farts. I like this no, no, I love this smell of sewage. You like this one of your own farts? Everyone loves this thisell of their own farts. Sorry, I actually don't physically understand what you're talking Hands up, Kingui, do you like to smell of your farts? That's disgust. I don't fart. Absolute lie. Can I just say, I think farting is disgusting.ade you like the smell. Sometimes look, I'm not it can't be helped That is just human, right? You're human if you f If you enjoy that process and you sniff it in like it's roses, you're sick. I would likeone like you're basically sniffing in poo particles coming out your bum and being like, o bathey in it. No, I would like everyone to comment and let us know. Do you like the smell? of your phone farts, because I think people do. I honestly, truly think people do You've never fartered neverever, not one. Have you ever foughted in front of an ex or anything like that? He's never farted. No never farted. You've never fought You must be so bloated. Do I look bloated? You don't look bloated. You can have a flatter on me if you tri. You've never foughtered, never You've never thought of that and And I wouldn't say if I did it on a podcast and I wouldn't say that I smelled sit You wouldn't smell it? No, absolutely not. That is vile. I actually genuinely don't think there would be many men that like the smell of their own vire. Boys Josh Rafy. No way. Thankk you very much for p n. You don't like the smell of it though. It's good. And also you know when you do a good one. And you're like, No guys, actually, I really have to be honest with you. You're all grossing me out. like I'm really annoying. And you know like it almost like gives a little sting when it comes out and you're like, that's a good one Oh that's so. And weird, weirdly the worst ones, the worst stings your butt holesings a littleings your nose. stings your butt hole a little bit. Stings your ars and you're like, yippy dooo, I just nailed the bath. Yeah. And the worst is when you're in a bath and you do it for some reason, the bubble that explodes I was in a swimming pool on and I f and I swallowed the fart bubble I can't believe I'm married? I actually can't. Not on purpose. I didn't try and grap it. and try and grab it. It reminds me of a time when when I was at school I was at school and we were scuba diving in the water so we swimming around in the water io bio. We were scuba diving. We had to do this buddy buddy system where you share a regulator, which is thing you breathe from with someone else and my teacher who won't be named, but he was also the sort of swimming teacher. He was like, right, He pointed everyone iss like reg everyone come up. So we all came to the service, he had got a regulator and a snot a snot went from his nose to his ear. I found it so gross. I vomered into sweep Like justid see what it is. Oh my go I know what you mean? It's like when you were younger and people you'd all dive into the pool, it'd jump and then everyone would come up and like there'd be snot pouring and it was like so long and strreing. you'd be like, I will say that is something absolutely vulgar about Snot and booties. Okay, what is the thing that you find satisfying that no one else would find satisfying? I love people window cleaning It really gets me going I love it more than anything. When they have to get into the little corners of the window, Oh my God When they pour the water on, it's so good. I could sit for hours watching people do it. It's so great to the point where I really I want to get window cleaners for our house so I can just sit and watch them We should get them. our windows are very dark. I just can't wait I don't w want to be like a depressant, but like I don't think I'm that satisfied by anything. Other than like obvious things. You don't get satisfied by anything? Like I get satisfied by my son smiling anding or like a nice outfit or like a good tan or like a nice No lunch by the sea, like I'm satisfied. I'll tell you one talking farting, do you know what's really satisfying? when you're sitting down and you fart and somehow, I don't know how it happens scientifically. I don't know how it happens. but the bubble sort of goes underneath your leg and out Have you ever haveave you ever had that? You give me shivers? Yeah I mean the bubbles. You fart and it' sort of makes a bubble in your trousers. Oh my Godd, that's horrendous. Like how big your Fars. Like you must be like far like if there was a color to your f the whole room would be green What do you find You don't find anything satisfying? What do I find satisfying? Give me an example. I don't I know. Gone. I've got one. Yes, Madam. You know when people hoo the carpets and it's like It's like marks on the carpet. That's lovely and it's like a fresh, gorgeous carpet. second thing that satisy. I feel like everyone finds that satisfying. No not everyone. Second thing I find that satisfying is like the smell of fabric conditioner. L I love that everything smells of that Oother thing I find satisfying is a nice thin rim glass when you drink The word Rim is not used that much Listen, ladies and gentlemen, on that note, it's time for sing the tune, honey. Listeners, listeners messers Messages, messages, messages, messages, messages. Okay, honey, youve got to be honest me What what have you been watching recently? because you've been squirreling your littleself away in your room, watching something by yourself, What is it? Oh, I've just been having the best time. It's Guton Ranch on Paramount Place, whichich is why I'm so happy that this episode is sponsored by Paramount Place. It is the best TV ever. What are you loving about it? Well, I loved Yellowstone, obviously. I loved Yellowstone and then that The best character out of it was Beth who else And then Riip is just a big friendly gant. He was like the stable boy and then they fell in love and she like owned the ranch. Anyway, they go and buy their own Ranch The ranch, spoiler alert gets burnt down and then the whole show At the beginning, I've not finished it, but they are trying to navigate what to do next. What is it about the cowboys that you love boots love the fact that they can get down with the horses and the cows. So if I was going talk like a cowboy that u Make you feel good. Do a cowboy impression? Well, little lady. Where abouts are you from Ripro? Montana. Man Oh man, I love Montana. You know what I love about Montana? You get it, and then you do a little twang of like, I don't know where. Then I go into my fields in Montana I go and get my horse. My name is Bath der. Y your autor Pure and Rich. Hi, I'm Rip. You know why they call me Rip Jante There onces wrripp my trousers. I never let it down. Why do they call you Beth? Because that's what I was crazent Oh really Now, Betheny? Just straight forward be. Why don't they call you ripped your trousers? instead of Alright. I didn't know, that's my nickname. I wasn't Christen R. I guess Beth might be my nickname then. Beth is your nickname. So what's your full Christen name? Bethany Dudden. R You're from the Dudden family? I'm from the Dudden family. I think I've seen you in Paramount Pus. Anyway Beth are gonna get on my horse. Will you do a whistle for me? Oh yeah There you go. I love that. So if if if One of the cowboys came and said, Sophie, you're going to come with me to live in this world. You would go. Yeah, and you know what a psychic many, many years ago said I would she saw me living on a ranch I'm telling you I'm off to Montana. Hey enough said. Go and watch my program with you in it. Okay, Rip and you. What's it called It's called Das and Raj and it's on Paramount Plus and it is sensational. Okay, honey, you got toa me when is the finale? Third of July. Third of July. And we're going be watching it together on Paramount pllus. On Paramount pllus. But you know what you can catch up before the third of July. L if you haven't started, just start now, you've got time, you can binge watch it. All right, so I can go and catch up right now. Okay. Squirrel away and catch up right now. I'm gonna squirrel away, Don't disturb me, I'm gonna catch up on everything Dust and Ranch. I can't wait Right you little monkeys. Welcome to Listeners Messag. You're one of your favorite parts of the whole show. Remember you can also Let us know you think of these, by the way, your big old sassies listening right now. Okay, I got one from Georggina. Georg This is a parenting story. Clear that really Do you ever think of clear in your throat and then you realize your throat's not clear. can. Whatact between me and Sophie I absolutely love having you back in my ears every week and congratulations on beautiful baby Siggy. Thankk you. Can we just pause there for a second? I'm so sorry. Sophie and I were trying to read Ziggy D Doctor Zeuse the book. I fucking love that book. It's like a drama audition every time I read it. I'm like this is my moment. Sophie takes it so seriously. So seriously. She won't let me read it. It's like she's auditioning for Rada. And I'm unbelievable. It's like she's auditioning for Rada. She sits then. she like One day the hat went to the cat and the cat said no. I will read it on this podcast once and you will all be shocked. You love Dror Zus. I love Doror Zus I and we need to get more bds. anyway o. I'd like to take a moment to appreciate my partner, Dave, who has become the most incredible dad despite not having that example growing up himself Dave's dad left when he was young and he never really stayed in contact. Because of that, Dave made a promise to himself that if he ever had children, he would be the most present father possible because he knew exactly what it felt like to grow up without one When our first son arrived, I was hit with postpartum depression, something I never expected. I struggled to connect and felt an overwhelming amount of guilt During this time, Dave did absolutely everything he could to look after us. He took over the feeds, took time of work, carried the weight of absolute everything without ever making me feel like a burden Our boys are now six and four and their dad is their absolute hero So often I hear mums talking about dads who aren't pulling their way, but Dave doesn't just pull his wayight. he carries more than his share without ever asking for recognition. I honestly don't know how I would have done any of this without him. He is the husband and father our boys deserve And I'm so grateful for him every single day Dave, you're a fucking Lgend. Dave, let's freaking go Wild Story from Anonymous Hey, Jamie and Sophie, this is a short but very shocking story about the most awkward moment my dad and I have ever experienced together Oh my god Like Jamie, I was a bit slow getting my driving license. After failing my test twice, my dad decided to give me some extra lessons before attempting number three One evening he thought it'd be a good idea to get some night driving practice in We were driving along a country road when a warning light suddenly appered on the dashboard. without thinking We took the next turning and pulled into a quiet car park overlooking a viewpoint so we could investigate As soon as we got out, we started hearing some very unusual noises coming from the nearby cars. Th thenen right in the middle of what we can describe as a very enthusiastic female orgasm My dad and I realized exactly the same moment that we accidentally parkped in the middle of a dogging spot how We exchanged a look of pure horror and my dad said we can deal with this at home I didn't even get a chance to get back in the driver's seat. He moved so fast. He neitarly left me behind For some reason there was no more evening driving lessons after that. Thankfully, I passed my test on the third attempt so Dad never had to endure another traumatizing lesson. Love the podcast and congratulations on Ziggi Okay, we've got a love story from Clarissa Dear, Jamen and Sophie, I absolutely love the podcast and I'm so happy you're back Growing up, I was incredibly close to my dad. He was fara going and full of quirky interests, one of which was butterflies He once toald me that in some Native American traditions, butterflies are seen as messages between humans and the spirit world. You love this butterfies well, you love butterflies gosh, that's lovely fan As a child, we spotted a large orange butterfly and a beautiful blue one and he smiled and said, You're the orange one and I'm the blue one. It was a simple moment but one I never forgot Years later, I got engaged with the love of my life, and around the same time my dad was diagnosed as stage four cancer. Say, sorry Throughout his illness, he promised he would be there to walk me down the aisle Sadly, he passed away just three weeks before the wedding She's got you. She's got you. On On my wedding day, as I stood waiting toward D the Isisle a large A large blue butterfly gently landed on my bouquet of Woa, flowers I instantly remembered my dad's words, I'm the blue one and you're the orange one. Whoa, that shivers That's I say that my dad always kept his promises So He taught me nothing would stop him from walking me down the aisle and I truly believe it did him I love you both so much. you have no idea how special you're going to be to Ziggy that that's honestly the most special story of Hardia. That is Unbelievable Unbelievable. What a story,oot That's from Clarissa Carissa Wow, unbeliev. That is so beautiful Thank you for sharing that. Thank you so much, Clarissa. Hey guys, thank you for all your messages. Remember you can get in touch. Super simple at Nly parents podcasts on Instagram or N newly parents at Jump Productions. code UK, everything' sh show in the description. Get in touch. you want to hear from you. Those messages are amazing. I mean stay anonymous. You don't have to. We love you so much. That is the end op. That is the end mess so it's obviously Father's Day. Happy, happy, happy Father's Day. Thank you so. Fast one other And I've got you a bundle of presents. Have you? Absolutely. You've actually got me a bundle of presents. Obviously Well, what have you got me Don't look at prodroducer Yi. Well, they're all wrapped up in their golden red. This is's from Sigi This is is it? Yeah This is from Ziggy. Yes. Okay. I'm open this up. So it's a nice old gold pacaging with a lovely red wter as well And he wrapped it. He wrapped it and that's strange because he can't really I Dxterity is not very good at the moment Good what No on Zigy What Who that fits Ziggy So who's he pointing to? 'use I'm going to be carrying him. He's gonna be pointing to you. It's a t shirt that says I was stupid with an arrow across it. That's the sweetest thing ever. I love this Father's Day. Okay, next one, here we go. I'm opening it up. Are you excited about this, honey? I love this one personally. You know what this one is. I know they old are ch with me in Siki Na How sweet is that? It's a picture of me and Ziggy when we had our first ever shower together. That's when we took a shower together and he vomited and peed on me at the same time. No, that's the sweetest thing ever. Okay, next one, here we go. Come on, let's get it out. What is this Shoes Wow Sorry, what Sorry What on earth are those? And I did these because I thought Ziggy would like you to start tatancing He whispered it to me be other an ey. Th's a tat dancing shoes. Yeah What the fuck aat doging shoes for Why have you got me tap dancec isoues? King Yui iss finding this so funny We tried they're cheaper than Cuban heels She've got me tap dancing shoes? Are they tap dancing shoes I can't wait to try them on. Literally that heel is exactly the same as your wireile heel and they were probably so Th are absolutely phenomenal. I might wear these every day. think these little tap shoes. Wh Harry stars if you put like a big baggy jean over. Honey, thank you so much. I love you beyond, you're the greatest mum in the world. You're the greatest dad it's not all about me. Okay, I'm just telling you are the greatest mum and I love you a bit We and our family together is the coolest thing ever. And we're so grateful for you and you're the best dad and the best husband ever and we would be completely lost without you That is glorious, thanks, honey By the way, I think we need to get your tardredness diagnosed. I've done every test under that fuclking sn. Every six months I get my blood st. Every six months I do this, every. I've done it all. L there's physically something wrong with me And having a baby that six months, o, one month in no sleep. I was nailing it. Didn't give a crap. was I don't understand my advised start he still doesn't sleep and I'm so tired. Soie went to me last night, she looked at me and she went, I'm so tired. She got into bed at eight fifteen. No sometometimes when Jamie talks to me, he goes, can you like if Jamie and I are having an argument? Yeah I start drooping in the argument. triggers a tiredness in me and I nous I fall asleep. I don't know what's wrong with me. He's saying we had an argument last night and it triggered you to fall as sleep. I was so tired and you were like, can you ple And I kept just saying, I'm really sorry we can keep arguing but I have to sit down. You were like, can't you just stand up? I was like, I need to just sit and I was just lying there like this mid argument. Soyvia and I had an argument last night and halfway they started laughing. Oh my God you couldn't stop laughing. I couldn't start laughing because Will I couldn't stop replaying the fact that Willis's eyes were hurting And then you know when you're like at school, you're trying to like not smile. And I was like this at Jamie, like All like capitual' will is being like Eyes are in bets Al also the fact that what we Sophie and I do we have this routine where we like exchange nights. So one night I'll do the night. Sophie the next night will'll do the night, so we try and get some sleep What we've worked out is that when we look after our baby Ziggy at night when it's the me if I look after Ziggy in the night and he's normally up around like two AM and then maybe three AM. he and you have to settle him and it's just normal, normal stuff his parents. The next morning, he will be pissed off with the other parent who wasn't up. He gives you the side eye. gives you the side eye It's mad. He'll give you the side eye. Yeah. Like Sophie looks after him last night, right? This morning, I'm like, morning, my boy. Zero smile. turnurns away from me. Do doesnn't want anything to do with it. On wants me. Only wants Sophie And then Sophie loves that Lves itious You love it when he gives you a little cut rolls into me and nooks into my n nooks into that meck a. When you do the night, He does give me the side eye, but then he reaches straight out for me. He does, he loves his mum. He frreinking loves his mum so much But I think you whisper sweet nothing into his ear the whole time. I'm gonna start whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Sweet nothing. my plan of action is this. Are you ready for it My plan Mhm is to make Ziggy's first word Dad Daddy It's always dad, dad, but I refuse for that to happen His first word is going to be father. I say to him, I walked down the street going, mam m, m m mama. Like people think I'm crazy. I constantly, it's all he isars. And he looks at me and I know he can say it. I know he can. he's just like shut up I'm not doing it. Ladies and gentlemen, listen that is the end of the record! Theound of the episode today listen, we love you all so much We really do We love you de bits Thankk you for listening to us. If you haven't subscribed to our shown already, you can just click that subscribe button. remember get in touch with us. You can so easily it's just newly parents cast on Instagram sign our DMs or send us an email N newly parents had jample productuctions so or Coda UK E everythingthing in the show description, go and click on it And you can go listen to other episodes.ight guys so much. Goodbye. Goodbye, we're gonna see you next week. We're gonna see you. Yeah, we're gonna see the next week. We. We're gonna see you' getting engaged. Good luck. If you're getting married. Good luck. Getting pregnant. Oh G ready for the wildest year of your love. We'll see in next week. Love you goodbye. Goodbye