Reflecting on Parenthood and Ziggy

Well hello everybody, welcome back to Newly Parents. Welcome to Newly Parents. Welcome! Creek, who's that? It's the listeners. We're really excited because it's our anniversary episode. It's been three years since we got married, so it's a very special episode today. We have loads of fun surprises. Most of the surprises Sophie doesn't know about, so they're all coming, so I can't really tell you what there is, but there's loads of surprises. Do you have a surprise for me? I've got a couple of little surprises up my sleeve that you guys are gonna love. So listen, you're gonna enjoy the episode. It's gonna be amazing. Remember, please if you haven't already subscribe to our show. It keeps us really happy. And it keeps love you guys so much. It keeps allowing us to make a show better and better and better. Okay, enjoy this incredible anniversary episode of Newly Parents. Hello, I'm Jamie Lang. And I'm Sophie Lang. And now we're newly parents. Oh yeah we are babybe Airport please mate . Is that an inflatable pineapple? Yep. I'm finally feeling holiday ready after getting me post office travel insurance sorted. It even included medical assistance plus with 24-7 doctor access when you're abroad. Pretty sweet, eh ? Now, did I park my snort ? Get holiday ready without the faff. Medical assistance plus is only valid for trips taken outside of the UK. Ladies and gentlemen, this podcast is sponsored by Lego Duplo, where learning and Play hand go hand in as toddlers create, imagine and explore. Like most parents, we think our little baby is a genius, right? I mean, obviously. I mean sometimes I just look at it and I'm like, there are some big ideas brewing there. Really development happens in like really the early years. Like a stat for you, okay? Ninety percent of a child's brain develops before the age of five. Well, this is why it's so important for them to play. It just means that they learn all these important life skills for when they grow up. 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It gives you a consistent space to work through things, not just like a moment, but over time, so you can really get into it. That's where better help comes in. They do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. And if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to another therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. And all better health therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully qualified in the UK. You don't have to be on this journey alone, guys. So find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/slash newlyparents. That's better h- lp.com slash newlyparents. Well, ring a ding-ding. Ring a ding ding. Hey, hey, ring it in. Hello. Hey, welcome back to Newly Parents. It's your favorite host. Sophie Haboo. Yeah. Woo! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, ring-a-ding-ding. Today is a very, very special episode because, ladies and gentlemen, it was our wedding anniversary. So it's our annivers ary wedding episode. Oh well it's not actually been. When is that you know that we've been doing our anniversary wrong this whole time? No. Your anniversary is 100% April the 14th when you got legally married, but you, yeah, gaslighter, convinced me it, was when we our our Spanish wedding. So okay, so let me ask you a question. When was the day that we got married? April fourteenth. So what is a marriage anniversary? Well I think we actually got married. Yes. Anniversary. But But illegally, if you Google it, because someone asked me this recently and I was like, We say the Spanish wedding, but I think we're wrong, and then everyone was like, You're a hundred percent wrong. It's the day you have the wedding, you big puppet. No, poppet, it's not. That was Poppy Socket. That was the big old party. And the wedding that you got married was that day where I wore that lovely dress and you wore that lovely suit, and we were married in London. I 'm that in that case, you've missed my wedding anniversary. You've missed my wedding. And I don't have a present. Speaking of presents, just before Sophie was about to give birth, I went and got Sophie a present. She wanted a baby nappy bag. So I went to all these different stores to find a baby nappy bag to give her this present, right? It was a Prada nappy bag. Mama's bougie. A Prada nappy bag. By the way, I looked on Amazon and Abby Bags, they're really cheap. A Prada one is not. Went to one store, they're like, sorry, we don't sell it, we sell it in the other one. Went to the other store, they said sorry we sell it in the other one. Went back to the original store and they had it there. Anyway, so excited, wrapped up, brought it back . As I looked at my phone, Sophie had messed me being like, where the fuck are you? You need to be home. And as I came in, you were gonna be so angry at me, but I brought in your little present. Yeah, but can I just in my defense, I was so so big and pregnant, right? And we'd booked this one day off. I'd just gone on Matt Leave, and Jamie had booked this one day off a week. It was like a Thursday. And I was so enormous and pregnant and bored and stiff. And I was like, why are we not going for lunch and eating delicious food? Because I was scared you'd eat the fruit. And you wouldn't I'm scared you'd eat the waiters . You it's not even funny. It's not even funny. You were gonna eat a waiter ? You what? I d okay, sorry, I'm not gaslighting as she would have at that point. I'm not gasoliting you, I didn't think you'd eat a waiter . Anyway, he came back at like 4 p.m. And I think that actually what happened was you didn't take the day off. You went to work and then decoy because you got all my message being like this is fucking ridiculous. Like it's your day off. Why are you back in the office? No. You went ding ding ding. I must go get her a present. So from the boat, but look, I don't give a fuck as long as you got the present. It was divine. What was so amazing is that I realized that Sophie's anger actually isn't real anger. Because if you just get her a present, she was like, I'm over it. I actually don't care now. By the way, we went to the BAFTAs recently and we saw the m the person that I love the most in this world. You know who it is? Louis Throtty. No, no Oh yeah, we'll explain what happened. Oh my god, guys, we're just standing freezing. Like my eyelashes were literally in my hair because it was that cold, complaining about how cold it was. And out of the corner of my eye, Jamie's talking suddenly, I was like, Louis Thoreau came over to Jamie and said, Jamie, I didn't get to come say hi. You I've never seen you look so sweet because you were like a little boy who the older cool boy at school had like chosen you to like come and kick a football with them and you were trying to act cool and chill but you were like Janie then went which was so nice of you because like lots of times you don't forget to do this but you went this is my wife Sophie and I was like and my mouth was about to go big fam and I had it in but I love Louis Thoreau. I find he's so sweet. Yeah. Sophie was so cold. So freezing at the back. Everyone was so freezing. It was not right. It was not right. Sophie wasn't Sophie was so cold, she was like this, she was shivering and she literally looked across and went there's that really famous guy with the curly hair and I looked up and it was Seth Rogan so famous in that girl and he by the way Seth he looked fucking great . And he was so sweet because he like got into the line to cue for the photos to get your photos done. And like obviously he's an A Esther, so like why are you cueing behind Jamie and me? So he like got pulled around to the front and like people were like, oh my god, he's kapeshing the f queue and I was like, uh obviously. But he was so sweet because he didn't say like obviously get me at the front of the queue, you know, he stood in line with his glasses on. How cold were you as well? It was the coldest I've ever been in my whole entire life. I I genuinely. And and I know people think that's silly because it's May and it was warm, but I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was the the uh a storm coming off the sea, the River Thames, not the sea. I don't know what it was, but I was the sea. I don't think the River Thames is a sea. It leads into the sea though. I don't think it is a sea. I think that there was some small storm that came on that day to throw us all into a frenzy and boy did it. Everyone was like I'm not joking when I say my eyelashes were in my hair. Like they flew off and they were just in there. Well h,appy anniversary, honey. Happy anniversary. What is your favourite thing over the past three years? Do you think? Having our son, Siggy. Come on. Yeah. That is like the best thing in the entire world. How much is the love for him explained? And like next level, how much is the love him with you? Ah crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. And and also like to get like like sobby for a second, it's like the most beautiful thing in the world. It's like insane the love. But almost crazy the love because it's almost painful. Yeah, it is almost painful. It's almost like too much. It becomes too much. And sometimes like when I see him at night when he's just like sleeping there and I can hear his breathing, it's like the mur I I just it's crazy what I feel. What do you mean? Do you go upstairs to a nursery and just Well sometimes when I see like on the nanit on the little TV or when I go upstairs when he's like made some noise and I put my hand on him and he's they're just babies are so innocent and so pure. I know. So it got me thinking right. Ziggy's gonna get older at some point. No, he is I will be crying. So if it might actually start crying. I cry all the time at the moment about him. I don't know what is wrong with me. Because at some point he's you're not gonna be able to hold him and because he's gonna be too big. I know but you're trying to make me cry this podcast and that is gaslighting. At some point he's gonna be too big and you won't be able to hold him anymore. He's so big now. My back's and tattered. But at some point also we're gonna have to tell him off. That is what's gonna happen. Alright? So at some point we'll I do hear you sometimes trying to reason with it. Yeah, I talked to him the whole time. Yeah, and I just need to tell you he's five months and he doesn't understand you trying to reason with him. Okay, like you can't be like, right, Ziggy, legs down. No, no, no, no, Ziggy. Come on, it's time to put your legs down now and putting on your nappy. Like he doesn't understand what his legs are doing, he doesn't understand what legs up like zombies. He definitely does. And then when you are like, No, no, come on, big boy, you're you're a strong boy, you don't need to eat . He does, he does 100%. When I say to him, legs in the air, Ziggy, he puts his legs in the air. He always has his legs in the air. No, he doesn't. Sometimes his legs are down. He knows. When I'm changing his nappy, okay, there are some times where he doesn't put his legs in the air, and I'd be like, Ziggy, time to put your legs in the air. And he puts his legs in the air and it I would say ninety percent of the time both his feet are in his mouth, so they're always in the air. Okay, but at some point we're gonna have to tell him off. Okay. Ziggy's gonna come back and he's gonna he's done something wrong. And he's probably gonna be I don't know may,be sixteen years old, maybe fifteen years old, maybe fourteen years old. What's he done? He's come back late because he was seeing a girl. We told him he had a curfew, he had to be back before before eleven and he came back after midnight. What's actually bad? That is bad. That's not bad. I'd be like That is bad. I will befriend his girlfriends, trust me. Daddy, you will be . You will hate that bitch. No, I won't. Yes, you will. But if she breaks my son's heart, I'll fucking kill her . I won't. I know what to do. I am gonna befriend them. Like they hate to see me coming. I they're gonna love me so much. They're gonna love me more than Ziggy. Ziggy Ziggy like Ziggy's creepy mom is back again. Like like get her out of here, this psycho mom. He's trying to be my mate. I'm gonna be so chill and like nonchalant, like Okay, hold on, don't be you're not gonna be creepy. Cool guys closing the door in the bedroom. Have fun. You're gonna st you're gonna be like that? Yeah. So when then Or you're gonna be like, open the door so I can hear if you're having sex. No, I'm just gonna ignore them and let them do it. But I would talk to the parents first. You would? Yeah, I would phone the parents and say, by the way, your daughter's coming over, are you happy for them to share a room? Are they not allowed to share the room? Yeah, you must do that. I will do that. You must do that. I'd say I was never allowed to share rooms with boyfriends, ever. Did your mum ever walk in on you when you were younger, having sex? No. But did what did you have girlfriends back to your house? Yes. But you had that little annex, so I I know he had his own apartment. I had my own apartment so unrelatable. I had she at 15, you were gone. I had my own apartment. So she never was like breakfast in the apartment because you cooked your own breakfast? No, but I but I what I used to do when I was younger is I used to throw parties in my house, my mum's house. I used to get everyone to stay over and my mum was in the countryside. She didn't know I was throwing parties. Still to this day, she doesn't understand how big the parties were, but the parties were so big that the police turned up once. It was the they were big parties. And uh one night my two friends stayed in my mum's bed and they had sex. Oh no, I'm really upset for Penny. I'm actually so angry with you for her. And she would never you would never change the sheets. No. That is it's so disrespectful to her. I'm honestly shocked. Jesus, I wasn't ready for that. Sorry , she came home innocently from the country. Hui Jamie, darling. She got all she had no idea. Had a lovely bath in the evening and climbed into her bed. I'm I actually have tears thinking about it. That is so mean. You are vile. You are vile. That is awful. If Sicky does that to me, I will be wait. Did your parents ever did your parents ever catch you having a CX? Someone I dated, his mum, like my first ever boyfriend, his mum always used to just pop into the room. So how often do you have sex with your ex? Not very much. So nothing's changed much. Nothing changed. She said that so seriously. Nothing has chang ched.ang Nothing ed. So if Ziggy brings home a girl you're gonna try and befriend them? If Ziggy brings home a girl, I will suss them out. I will befriend them. And how will you do that? And I will just like get down on her level, you know? Okay, so I'm just become buddies with her. I'm Isabel and I'm Ziggy's friend and she's come home and how you gonna what how you gonna greet her? Hi Izzy. And you're Mrs. Lang. Hi Mrs. Lang. You know what I might do is just like be chill, like not even in the room. That's what the cool bugs were. Anyway, Siggy's back, he's a little bit drunk. All right, here we go. Buddy, what what's this? Me and your mother have been sick. We've been sick with worry . You are you a little bit drunk? Honey, say something. I can smell that alcohol too. I can remember this one time my dad picked me up from a party rang. Yeah. It was I I think I snuck out the window to go to this party and then basically I think I think something happened like police also came to this party. Everyone needed to get home, but obviously there was no Ubers back in the day. So I had to call my dad and I was like, look, I'm at this party. It's not good. Like shit's going down. You need to come pick me up. I was a bit drunk. I was like sixteen. I was like, yeah, my dad picking me up in his car, side profile, open the door.. I get in I was like, hi dad, slam the door . Open the door to the house. Went up to bed. Not a peep. And I thought, oh my God, that is it. I am in so much. And then he never spoke about it again. I think maybe I was grounded then. I definitely got told off, but he was throbbing. I think if he'd spoken, he would have been that angry. He was frothing. I think phone was coming out of his mouth. He was so, so angry . And he was I just it's like a profile I can see it from a mile away. And so that is the side that you turn and you've got to let him see your silent profile. Okay, so I go out to bed in silent. And then I think just ignore him the next day. Silent treatment. I don't think that teaches them. I think it did. I never ever went to a party that the police came to everything. I'm gonna I'm gonna look this is how you do it. Ziggy. Man. Okay, then I'm gonna say Jamie. Let's just talk to Ziggy when he's sober. No, he's sober. Go eat some bread and have some milk. You let him get away with everything. This is why he's like this. Listen, you ground're ed. That is terrible. People's skills. What is it? Parenting skills. You're you're grounded, Ziggy, and I'll tell you why you're grounded. Because you're out late and and you've been drinking and you know we hate alcohol. Not it, not in this house. And then as he goes off, love you. Yeah, we love you. Come back. I'll hug you. You and I have not had it. We haven't had a date night in a while. When was the last time we went on a date? Maybe just before we got married. Genuinely really read it back in your head. Do holidays count, right? It's date nights. Yes. So holidays. No, no. You don't think we've been on a date night? I really think. Yes. Really, really does the BAFTAs count as a date night? No. So holidays. So Ziggy Bay. No, having dinner together and going on holiday together, that is definitely like a date night. That is a date night. Yeah. Ziggy Bay. Although I did have quite a few dinners on my own in Ziggy Bay. Jamie was feeling a little bit tender after that run and boy did he need to sleep and I was just out there having a solo holiday. Okay so listen because we we haven't we haven't been on a a uh dinner date for a long time we haven't been on a date for a while as well. I feel like because it's our anniversary, we should try and see if we can flirt with each other still. We're gonna do a little bit of heart rate monitor to see if I can raise your heart rate by flirting with you. I feel really embarrassed for you already. No, but we have to set the scenario. We're in a bar. I'm gonna come up to you. Okay? I don't know you , but I'm gonna see if I can raise your heart rate. So at the moment, Sophie's heart rate is what, Magda? So Sophie's current resting heart rate is seventy-four BPM. Am I healthy? Quite high. High. Yeah, my resting is forty-five. Oh well, clearly she's excited to play the game. So I mean I'm not very well. Hi high high-ish heart rate. You you're probably a bit more elevated because you're having a fun time on the pod. I must be so stressed. Or you're stressed. So the scenario is this you're in a bar. I'm gonna come up to you at the bar and I'm gonna flirt with you. I'm ready. Hey, can I uh can I get a bourbon? Thanks very much. Oh hey. Haven't seen you around here recently or at all. What's your name, little lady? Mm one of those are we? Cat angue Do you wanna Do you want a bourbon as well? Yeah, don't drink. What about a little elder flower ? Would you like one of those? You gonna respond ? No, I was wanting you to get to You had to respond to me. I wanted to get to the point that I was gonna say, are you talking to me? But you never ever realised that I didn't even talk to me. There's no one else in the bar. It's a full bar. How do you know it's make believe? There's four other women and four other men here. Is that what you've imagined? Yes. Oh right, let me imagine. Miles where you're over on that side. Okay, that's not again. Hey . Hey, hey, you yeah, you hey how are ya? Just wait there, I'm gonna come round. Hold on. I'm just gonna get a couple drinks. Yeah, can I get a cause light? And and a shandy. Yeah, thanks man. You do you want one? No you American, I keep English. Do you want one? No . Hey listen, you're uh you're beautiful. Thank you. And uh you know the uh when I saw you across from there from the bar. Oh, you're accent, you're British again. Anyway, uh I seen you here a couple of times before. Never been here before . You have okay Okay, well I've seen you in some town somewhere. And when I I've seen you before, and every single time I see you do you know what I think? That person's gonna be my wife . We must stop it. Okay, we must stop it. What is our heart rate? So we had a small peak to seventy six BPM when you said Elderflower. Um and when you called Sophie Beautiful, we had a small peak as well. But then it just went steadily down. Let's do it again. Hey Sophie. You're so beautiful. I'm peaking right now, I think. Sophie, you are so beautiful. You're the most beautiful person I know. You are beautiful. No. Just listen to me. You are so beautiful. It's peaking. You are so be It's off the charts, it's peaking so Magda? It has gone down again. Okay, there we go . I tell you what, we're not good at flirting. We're not good at flirting. Yeah, we've kinda lost that at the moment, but I tell you what, I tell you who is good at flirting is our listeners. She shall we go into ladies and gentlemen, this episode of Newly Parents is brought to you by Tui as you may have heard on the podcast before, Jamie and I don't see eye to eye on everything when it comes to holidays, do we? We're always having little debates about where we should go, what we should do, so on and so on. Now over the years, I feel like I've picked up quite a few tips, so I thought I'd share them with you today . Welcome to the Holiday Hotline, the destination that helps you solve your holiday dilemmas, whether you can't agree on where to go on holiday or what to do when you get there or even who you should go with. This is the podcast that can help me solve all those holiday headaches. Okay, so in today's episode, we're gonna be talking about city breaks. All right. Now, I love a city break. So I think I'm pretty well qualified to hand out some tips on how to do it right. Now you've got to make sure both halves of the couple get what they want. Okay, I'm looking forward to these tips. Give them to me. Okay, you ready for this? First one? Map out your route. I couldn't agree more. We do have been terrible at mapping out a route. I'm unbelievable about mapping. No, you're not Panama. You can map out any route. We didn't know where to go, where to eat, nothing. Yeah. Do you know why? Because I didn't exactly. Yeah. So you got in there before me, but we didn't map out the route. Went to Panama, it was after our honeymoon. So we ended up staying in the hotel the entire time 'cause we didn't where to go. We didn't know what to see, we didn't know if there was a cathedral or an art gallery or any sightseeing. We didn't know anything. Okay, so if you map your route, you're gonna have the most incredible time. Like the time we went to Barcelona. And you know what I did? You mapped out our route. I mapped the route. And it was absolutely stunning. And when we went to Seville, do you remember that time? Oh yeah. And I mapped out the route. Got us that amazing hotel. You did. Okay, we went and saw the three drill because I knew exactly where it was. We went to delicious tapas restaurants. We went to a delicious tapas restaurant. We had the most amazing time. Okay. And the reason was we had a great time is because you messed up mapped the room. Okay, that's my first tip, which I think is really good. My second tip is this find the right restaurant. Do you know what makes a good restaurant? The local dishes. You know the dishes that are just that restaurant and they pick those fish and they get them and it's just so good. You're all about the food. I'm about the atmosphere. You're all about the ambiance. The ambiance. I want it to be a fiesta. I don't want it to be a fiesta. I want it to be like chill, cool music. I like to hear people speak. I don't want to be thinking I'm in a party. Do you know what I wanted to be?? What A fiesta. So I like. Eating when you're on holiday good food is is the best part about being on holiday. But do you remember we went to Paris? Yes. And I had planned the restaurant. Planned the restaurant. Okay, because what I did is I asked a friend who was a local there. He said you gotta go to this little hidden place. I also checked the reviews, so therefore I knew it was gonna be good. We went there, got the best table, I knew the one next to the window, so we could see the sights. I knew everything and how romantic was that. So basically what you're saying is organ ise. Organise and obviously Tui can help you do that. Yes, and also it means once you book the restaurant, you can also book the best hotel because you're also checking down at the same time. So it's a double win. It's a double win. It's a double win. And our final tip is to find that special location using Tui . Okay, there are so many incredible holidays on the Tui website. So whatever you and your best mate like to do, you'll be able to find somewhere that ticks the boxes for both of you. Guys, thank you so much for listening to the episode of the Holiday Hotline. Now, if you'd like to hear more from the likes of Peter Crouch, Abby Cancy, Sam Thompson, Pete Wicks, or James and Fu Ed from Chits and Gigs, then just search the Holiday Hotline in your podcast app. Oh, and Sophie has her own podcast too on Beach holidays so go and check it out. Tui you pick it they sort it booking teas and sea supply at a little lab to protect it Entitled entitled entitled. And before you go all I am not entitled, just relax. I'm not talking about never buying you around or never giving a little thank you wave in the car. I'm just saying that most people who use a screen at work are entitled to free eye care. Tell your boss to look into Specksaver's corporate eye care vouchers and you could get a free eye test and up to 70 pounds towards glasses. Find out more at specsavers.co.uk conditions apply. Hey, we still off a pickleball Sunday. Oh, so hold on a sec. Hey, how's the hustle? Pretty busy, absolutely. No time to chat. I'm married to the grind. He's asking me my 10K time. That's none of your business. This place so boring. It's just not me. Oh dear. Is your business stuck in the wrong place? Then try workspace. Look at our new space. It feels just like home. With your own space and your people, your business can happen. It all happens at workspace. Some days it feels like your to-do list just won't quit. When life gets hectic, let Halfords take something off your plate. We're here when you need us. With trusted experts ready to help you tick off MOTs, servicing, tire fitting, and more. See your car's ready for whatever's ahead. So why put it off? Get in touch or drop in today. Book online at Halfus.com or give your local Halfers Garage a call and we'll sort it. So you can keep moving with confidence. Faris Cancer fears. Sam City Cough. London, we're here for all of you. You don't need to be covered by our insurance. Search Booper Pays You Go London to book an appointment at your local Booper Health Centre. Well, welcome back to Listeners Messages. I'm Sophia Boo and this is a love story from Sam. Hey Sophie and Jamie, congrats on becoming newly parents and on the birth of your little boy Siggy. I have a story for you. Back in January twenty nineteen, I had just come out of a ten-year relationship and was searching for answers. A few of my friends have visited a clairvoyant so I reached out and booked his next appointment. It was a crazy experience. He was throwing words at me and I just wrote it all down. I didn't even have a chance to ask him any questions. It was just non-stop invas I left a little overwhelmed and read over the notes and a few things stuck out. Firstly, the places Island and Las Vegas were said together. Secondly, I was going to meet the love of my life very soon. He was going to have dark hair, be very handsome, and once we met, that would be it. He also said that he'd be the one I would marry and that he would love tennis. I got back to my desk and as I put my phone down, it pinged, and I saw that I had matched with someone who had dark hair and was very handsome. I was a little shocked and joked to my friend at work that it was a little bit soon, sooner than I thought. We met three days later for a date, now almost seven years down the line. We have been married just over a year and a half and have also just become parents ourselves. Did I also forget to mention that my husband follows no sport except tennis and that we got married on St. Patrick's Day in Vegas? That's lovely. Oh my gosh, and she was 17 weeks pregnant on a 28. Guys, that's insane. That's insane. Can we have the clairvoyance number? That's wild. That's wild. Sophie's done two clairvoyants. You did two in a row. I did two in a row. And I don't understand why you didn't give me one of them. You had a psychic reading, then you did another psychic reading the next day. You can also have their their contact details. They were very, very, very good. They're very good. Very, very good. All right, well I need them. Can you please send them over to me? Alright, I have one, you ready for this? Funny pregnancy story from Millie. Hi Jamie and Sophie, now that you're newly parents and I know all the craziness of labour and giving birth, I thought I'd share a funny story from having a first baby back in twenty twenty one. The labour was slow and after what felt like forever, they told me it was time to break my waters. As the doctor was doing his thing, it was an unfortunate time to let a little silent guff pop out. Guff, I love that word. Debbie's word guff at school. I've never heard of the word guff. Oh , he's guffed . You know I've never heard of the word guff. Oh pfft have you guffed ? That's a word for fart. Yeah. I hate that word. Guffed. Yeah, guffed. That is vile. Yeah. I can smell the smell of a guff. No, so if you've guffed. Uh you're a guffy bloke. Okay . What can you do better out than in? The doctor didn't away with it. After about twenty minutes he came back in saying he needed a dip test my urine because there was a foul odour coming from my vagina. I then had to say m sorry, but when you were down there breaking my waters, I farted on your head. My husband was cracking up. Sorry, what you farted and the doctor thought there was a smell coming from your vagina. That is so so embarrassing. I really feel for you because that to me it's possibly one of the worst situations that could happen. Did you guff? I I didn't guff at all. Did you not? I queefed. It came out my vagina . I queefed and and Dr. Tarek was so n nice and just didn't even comment on it and you and I were like, ha and he was like, Yeah, sometimes you just gotta laugh. When he was trying to break her waters. No, not when I the water came out and so did a queef at the same time out of my vagina. And I was like You queef stuffed out my vagina . But a queef doesn't smell. Do you remember the first time you ever queefed? Was it really embarrassing? No, no. We're just gonna continue with the story now. Come on, was there ever a time when you queefed? No. There wasn't. No . Quee ft is a terrible word. Queefed is better than guff. You just said you guffed out your vagina . Oh god, it's good. To be honest, with all that goes on in bringing a well baby into the world, letting off a silent but violent My gorgeous boy Max is born about twelve hours after that, and we now have a little baby boy Theory as well. He's almost nine months old. No doctors were harmed from farting during this birth, luckily. Love the podcast and all the best for the beautiful chapter of parenthood. It's the best thing in the world. Yes , Millie. The absolute legend. New legend. Did I ever tell you the time when I guffed on a flight? It's awful. It's terrible. I was watching I think The time you have guffed on so many flights I've been on you with. No, I have no, I have not. You guffed 24-7. Oh god, we must tell that retell that story, which we haven't told in ages. The time we first first took our holiday together. This is absolutely unbelievable . We took a holiday together . We took a holiday together to Me to Mexico and it was fucking mental the whole thing. Personally so if he wore these eyelashes, you put eyesight, you broke I did eyelash extensions for like the second time in my life. First time I did them I had a massive allergy reaction, but I thought, you know what, second time round I'll be alright. Oh no. Second time around, so they also had a massive reaction on the flight to Mexico and I turned round and we were sitting in front of each other and I turned round and started talking to Sophia 's Sophie's eyes were so red and she went, Is there is there something wrong with my eyes ? And I went, Oh my god . I said, what are you put on them? She was like, I put in these extensions. So how do we get it off? I had to go to get the little bottles of olive oil. The mini bottles of olive oil that you put on the salads that are this big. But Sobie on a tray. No, no, no. I had it I didn't do it on a tray, I put it into my hands and I was covered. My whole top just had oil down it and I was like this the whole eleven hours to Mexico I spent just not a minute not o oiling my eyes to get these lashes out. Anyway what the funniest thing about was it's the Shevy was like was crazy and I was like she was like, Am I gonna be alright? I was like, You're gonna be fine. And I managed to connect to the internet where you have to pay ten quid. And honestly the first thing came was said she said she was gonna go blind . And I went, and Sophie saw my face. She's like, what's happened? I went, no, nothing. Let's just let's just get them off . Anyway. It was so good. Anyway, we went. I went. Sounded like I could start smelling something and I was like, what the fuck is that that smell anyway Kites when I tell you the smell what's I I can't explain. Was I sat in the chair behind you? I was like this . What? I went breathing, it was so bad. It infused my whole body. It was like a sewer. I think someone is a prank. Shattered the air shattered to the aircon and put a fan behind it because the smell on everyone in the cabin was like the fuck is that? It was so silent but by there. I went to the loo to be like, what does that smell? Came out of the loo and Sophie thought it was me. So then middle she looked at me and went, no . No . Oh I've got a love story from Sarah. Hi Jamie and Sophie. I'm I'm loving having you guys back on my ears every Monday, and I wanted to share the story of my amazing partner Dan with you. In twenty twenty, fo whurile Dan was on a holiday with some friends on the south coast, I got a really terrifying phone call. I was told he'd slipped off a crumbling cliff edge while out for a walk and fallen about twenty feet to the beach and had to be airlifted to hostel. I grabbed a bag and drove straight down there in absolute manic panic. When I arrived, the doctors sat me down and said that he had been put in an induced coma and that there was a high chance he'd never be able to walk again. It's been a very long journey since, but two years and a lot of rehabilitation later. Dan's doing amazingly. His determination and bravery has been incredible to witness. He has good days and bad days, but has almost fully recovered, and we have just welcomed our first baby. Wow. He's an incredible dad and I'm so grateful every day that he's around to see our son grow up. I also could be more thankful to the amazing NHS staff at the Royal Bournemouth Hospital. We owe them absolutely everything, sending you lots of love. Wow. That's that is so scary, but just amazing that he's doing so much better. And I'm so so happy you guys have just had a baby. Congratulations, just the best thing ever. Yeah, life is just fragile in so many ways and that's just incredible. I love that. Okay, we have a listener's message. It's a birth story, so we ready for this. Hi, lovely Sophie and Jamie. I have been listening to all of your podcasts from the very start. We came to your newlyweds tour in twenty twenty four and I love the newly parents chapter. Yay. Last weekend we were having a special night away ahead of our baby's arrival at the hotel where we got married in twenty twenty four and spotted none other than you guys out the window heading off in a car all dressed up. I was so excited to maybe see you and say hello, but our baby had other ideas, as my water suddenly broke just as we were about to head to bed. We whizzed straight off the hospital where our perfect baby boy arrived er rather early and very quickly. What? I hope you had a gorgeous weekend. I can't wait to listen to your new podcast with my baby in my arms. All our love from Alicia and Harvey and Baby Teddy. Oh my god. Let's go. They saw us at the hotel. What hotel? Where we were just in the lake district. You are kidding. That's what it would have been. How do you know? Because 100% it would have been that. Because that's where we were all dressed up, going out from a hotel. We went to your friend's wedding. That's amazing. Oh my god, congratulations. That's incredible. All right, listen, you puppets. Thank you so much for your listeners' messages. Thank you so much for your voice notes when you send them in. You can send them a voice note into our number which's in the show description. Send us an email, newlyparents at jamproproductions.co.uk, or you can slide into our DMs at newlyparents podcast on Instagram.. Slide in We see them all. We read them all and we love them. To keep sending them in. Isn't that right, honey? Please keep sending them in, dear friends. That is the end of Los Clothes Messenger . So honey, because it's our anniversary, I've got you a present. You've been pregnant for nine months and then you're now a new mum and you've been going through so much, so I've made a song for you and I think it's amazing and the song is all of the messages that you've sent me over the past 16 months. Are you ready? I am ready. Here we go. This is all for you . No like never ever have I been this tired in my whole life I'm fucking unwell Why do you keep hang ing up ? It's a bad idea We are seeing out an eye Don't make me cry Three whole years already , time sure flies on by Yes, Sophie, I'm so lucky. I get to call you my wife , the best mom to R city , I'm glad it's you on the other side of the telephone l ine for the rest of my life Come to bed now, surely . I love you so much. Don't want you to have a go at me , but I'm a bit upset and I'm still tired how like my throat is raised blades . Are you mad? Cause in the devil wears pride . Call me ASAP, please. X three more years already time sure flies on by Yeah Sophie I'm so lucky I get call you my wife . The best mom to I Ziggy I'm glad it's you on the other side of the telephone line. It's unbelievable for the rest of my life. That is so good. Isn't that great? Are you mad because of the devil wears Prada? Guys, I didn't want to go. I I was too tired to go to the the premiere and I thought Jamie was really grumpy about this. Yeah, so if he sent me a message like well, you saw it saying, Are you mad because we didn't go to the devil wears Prada? I was like, What? I didn't even understand what's going on. Happy anniversary, honey! Happy anniversary, that is genius. That's very genius. Um, did you go from like the chicks? Did you put and do tech like country? I knew you would like country music, so I went for country. It's so good, right? I love it. You enjoyed it? Elka Sophia so great. Best mum to Haz iggy. I'm better than you on the other side of the couple. Shout out the telephone land. Can we shout out to he's called He's called Jordan Robert. He's based in Nashville, Tennessee. Tennessee . He's a stunning voice. Voice. Unbelievable. We also have your message. Dustin Bieber. Mmm. Bieber was not available. Damon. For Vampire Diaries. He again, he wasn't available. Huh? Guys, you can't can spunk out the money to get me a daemon . Stefan. If you were gonna go on a road trip with someone Morgan Freeman. If you were gonna go on a road trip with someone, no, do no, just li one person in this world, who would you go on a road trip with? Just you and that person. Who would it be? Damon. No, you're all your ultimate. Staffan. No, not that. Not not someone you You who would you want to chat with and have the best time with you just think is the best person? You know who it is. I know them. You don't know them? I'm not gonna let you who is it? The old Adam Sandler. N Adam Sandler, no. You know who this person