How to Start a Monarchy from Scratch (Part 2)

Chaotic Philanthropy: Saint Joan of the Golden Arches [from Very Special Episodes]

Jul 5, 202646 minSummary

This episode of Noble Blood explores the fascinating life and legacy of Joan Kroc, the widow of McDonald’s magnate Ray Kroc. While her vast fortune was built on the foundation of the Golden Arches, Joan carved out an independent identity as a "maverick salvationist." The hosts examine her unconventional approach to philanthropy, which stood in stark contrast to the traditional, slow-moving structures of charitable foundations. Rather than relying on boards, she prioritized her own intuition, often funding causes that were overlooked or stigmatized at the time, such as alcoholism education and anti-nuclear advocacy. The narrative traces Joan’s journey from a modest upbringing to becoming one of the world's wealthiest people, highlighting her unique desire to "die nearly broke." Key insights include her personal motivation for tackling the societal scourge of alcoholism and her penchant for quiet, direct action, often funding projects without seeking recognition. The episode portrays a woman who leveraged her wealth to enact immediate, tangible change—from funding hospices and community centers to supporting public broadcasting—cementing her reputation as a transformative figure whose generous, chaotic spirit redefined modern charitable giving.

How to Start a Monarchy from Scratch (Part 1)

Jun 30, 202625 minSummary

This episode of Noble Blood explores the complex rise of Te Wherowhero, a prominent Maori chief who navigated the turbulent era of the Musket Wars in early 19th-century New Zealand. Host Dana Schwartz examines the unique sociopolitical landscape of the time, noting that New Zealand lacked an overarching monarchical structure, instead operating through complex tribal hierarchies known as Iwi. The narrative focuses on the intense rivalry between Te Wherowhero and the formidable chief Te Rauparaha. A pivotal moment occurs when Te Wherowhero, despite being vastly outnumbered and armed only with a digging tool, faces his enemy with such profound mana—a deep-rooted concept of authority, prestige, and ancestral power—that he earns his rival’s respect and avoids execution. The episode provides crucial context on how Maori oral traditions offer a rich, accurate perspective on these historical power dynamics, often overlooked by colonial accounts. By the end of the episode, listeners are introduced to the fascinating origins of the Haka and the impending shift in history as Te Wherowhero is positioned to potentially become the first monarch in Maori history.

Countess of the Demimonde

Jun 23, 202638 minSummary

In this episode of Noble Blood, the host explores the life of the Countess, a fascinating 19th-century figure whose autobiography, Confessions of a Parisian, offers a rare, intimate look into the queer community of the time. The document was originally included in a forensic medicine book by a prison doctor who viewed the author through the lens of pathology, yet the text itself reveals a vibrant, self-aware, and deeply human narrative. Born into a working-class family, the narrator—often known as Pauline—recounts her lifelong desire to live as a woman, detailing her time as a performer, the complexities of gender dysphoria, and the challenges of navigating a society that criminalized her identity. The podcast discusses Pauline's experiences as a courtesan and a stage performer, highlighting the unique terminology and social systems used by the Parisian queer community to define their identities. Despite the hardships of desertion and lengthy imprisonment, Pauline’s writing remains remarkably honest and poignant. By examining this rare historical primary source, the episode honors the Countess's pursuit of her authentic self, ultimately providing a compelling glimpse into a life that defied 19th-century societal norms.

The Chloroform Baronet (Part 2)

Jun 16, 202635 minSummary

In this episode of Noble Blood, the host explores the controversial rise of chloroform as a medical anesthetic in the mid-19th century. Following the success of James Young Simpson’s initial demonstrations, the drug quickly gained popularity for its efficiency compared to ether. However, its rapid adoption triggered intense medical and moral debates. Critics argued that pain in childbirth was a biological and even religious necessity, with some physicians viewing the use of anesthesia as an affront to "natural" suffering. The episode details the public backlash following the tragic death of Hannah Greener, a young patient who died during a minor procedure, sparking a divide in the medical community. While Simpson remained an aggressive, often reckless advocate for chloroform, the methodical physician John Snow brought much-needed scientific rigor to its administration. The narrative culminates in the historic moment Queen Victoria chose to use chloroform during the birth of Prince Leopold, a decision that helped solidify the drug’s legitimacy. Ultimately, while chloroform’s medical use eventually faded, the episode highlights Simpson’s enduring legacy in transforming obstetrics into a respected scientific field and championing the relief of human pain.

The Chloroform Baronet (Part 1)

Jun 9, 202623 minSummary

In this episode of Noble Blood, host Dana Schwartz explores the harrowing medical landscape of the early nineteenth century and the pioneering efforts of Dr. James Young Simpson. The narrative begins in an Edinburgh surgical theater, where the brutal reality of pre-anesthesia surgery—often performed with blinding speed to minimize patient agony—deeply traumatized a young Simpson. Determined to find a more humane approach, Simpson eventually pivoted toward obstetrics, a field where his genuine empathy and dedication to patient comfort helped him rise through the ranks despite his humble origins. The episode tracks the medical community’s initial experiments with ether, a discovery that revolutionized surgery but proved cumbersome and occasionally dangerous. Driven by a desire for a safer, more effective alternative for women in childbirth, Simpson conducted unorthodox and high-stakes experiments with various substances alongside his colleagues. This culminated in the successful, albeit risky, adoption of chloroform. Schwartz details how Simpson’s discovery forever changed the medical field, highlighting the story of Jane Carstairs, the first woman to experience a painless birth under his care, marking a monumental turning point in the history of medicine.

Napoleon's Forgotten Wife

Jun 2, 202636 minSummary

This episode of Noble Blood explores the life of Marie Louise of Austria, the lesser-known second wife of Napoleon Bonaparte. While history often focuses on the passionate romance between Napoleon and Josephine, the podcast shifts the spotlight to Marie Louise, who was thrust into a high-stakes diplomatic marriage at age eighteen. Raised to view Napoleon as a monstrous figure, she ultimately found him to be a surprisingly devoted and considerate husband. The discussion highlights the immense pressure Marie Louise faced as she navigated the volatile political landscape of early nineteenth-century Europe. Following Napoleon’s military failures and subsequent exile, she found herself caught between her loyalties to her husband and her father, the Austrian Emperor. The host examines how she was systematically manipulated by the men in power, eventually becoming a victim of political circumstances that left her isolated and humiliated. By re-examining her life—moving beyond the common portrayals of her as disloyal or flighty—the episode paints a portrait of a sheltered, young woman doing her best to survive in a world shaped by forces far beyond her control.

When the Kennedeys met the Windsors (with Caroline Hallemann)

May 26, 202631 minSummary

In this episode of Noble Blood, host Dana Schwartz sits down with Caroline Hallemann, author of The Kennedys and The Windsors, to explore the fascinating, often symbiotic relationship between America’s unofficial royalty and the British Royal Family. The discussion delves into the historical intersections of these two powerful dynasties, ranging from Joe Kennedy’s time as ambassador to the UK to the iconic 1961 meeting between John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, and Queen Elizabeth II. Hallemann clarifies common misconceptions—such as the supposedly bitter rivalry between Jackie and the Queen—while highlighting their shared experiences as young women under intense public scrutiny and their mutual love of equestrianism. The conversation also analyzes how both families have navigated tragedy, media attention, and the burdens of public life. By examining the myth-making behind Camelot and the royal family’s strategic modernization efforts, the episode provides a compelling look at how these families have influenced each other’s public image and longevity. Ultimately, the discussion touches on the future of both houses, exploring the challenges of maintaining ancient traditions in an increasingly modern and skeptical world.

Kaspar Hauser Came to Town

May 19, 202635 minSummary

In this episode of Noble Blood, host Dana Schwartz explores the enigmatic life and death of Kaspar Hauser, a young man who appeared in Nuremberg in 1826 with little more than a mysterious background and an even more mysterious set of circumstances. Found stumbling through the city with limited vocabulary and an unusual gait, Hauser claimed to have been raised in total isolation in a dark cell by an anonymous masked figure. His sudden emergence turned him into a living Rorschach test for 19th-century Europe, with philosophers, scientists, and the public projecting their own theories, hopes, and political agendas onto him. Schwartz delves into the various labels pinned on Hauser, ranging from a symbol of human innocence to a political pawn representing the alleged depravity of the royal house. The narrative covers his turbulent integration into society, the experiments performed on him, and the eventual, violent end to his life. Ultimately, the episode dissects the enduring mystery of whether Hauser was a legitimate victim of aristocratic conspiracy, a troubled young man seeking attention, or a complete fraud, highlighting how historical truth often remains obscured by the projections and desires of the society observing it.

A Philosopher's Death

Maria Theresa's Medical Legacy (with Matt Kaplan)