Future Plans and Closing Thoughts

All news Sundays at night exclusively on AMC AMC plus. I am the vampire . I'm a rock star now. I'm a little killer . I'm a hunter. From Anne Rice's immortal universe comes what Vulture calls the most momentous event in fictional rock history. Thousands of Lennon. I want millions . It's my dera Anne Brice is the vampireless dot all new Sundays at night exclusively on AMC and AMC plus stream now . Looking to see what's happening around your home? Ring's battery doorbell helps you track packages and see who's at your door in real time. The outdoor camplus protects your yard at night with a wide field of view and clearer retinal two K video , or upgrade to four K cameras and doorbells with retinal vision for ultra clear zoom in detail . Your door, your yard, your home. With ring, it's protected. Shop cameras, doorbells, and more at ring dot com now . I sold my car in Carbona last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer, down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wr ong. So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch. Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow, you need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have what is this table wood ? I think it's laminate. Okay, yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Car vada. Pick up these Maya. We were like the classic meme on the internet of the two ends of the girls gales. Yes, and I was in full prosthetics as Yisma from Emperors Newgrove. Of course, they're all saying errs like that. That says it all. The fact that you just didn't know what I was, but I was a purple woman in prosthetics. X factor. Oh my god. Simon Cow loved you. Simon Cowell loves a girlie of colour. Okay, I could have sung Nish and I did sing Mich and Simon went she's a star. He was rooting for you know he wanted me to be his sanita. And I was and I said put me in palm leaves and make me a star. I used to work at the box and everyone who's anyone who rings the box I was knackered. I'd done like five nights on the tr out. And they went, right, Rihanna's coming in. We want you to dance for her. I went, cool . Do you know what starts playing? Go it up, go it up, Rihanna's song. Now I'm dancing half naked to Rihanna to her song. Will you like having an out of body experience? Yes. I was so curious . This part of the podcast is brought to you by Tom Bowler who have teamed up with the charity breast cancer now. Girls, we talk a lot about checking our breasts, but if I'm being honest, it's one of those things that's really easy to forget. Checking your breasts can literally be something you do in those every day moments, like getting ready for a night out, putting on lotion after a shower, watching TV, or listening to a voice note that's just way too long, just normal life. The more we make it a habit, the easier it is to find time to actually do it. Dolls, as you know, Olivia's house is always open for intimate, nothing off the table conversations. Honestly, you could even check right now while you're listening to this. I dare you. That is what I really love about what Tombola and the charity breast cancer now are doing. The Tombola community is built around chatting, checking in and supporting each other every day and they're encouraging people to bring that same energy to breast checking too. Sometimes all it takes is a quick nudge from a friend sending his episode into the group chat or someone simply asking have you checked recently? Those little reminders are often the thing that actually prompts us to do it. Especially when over half of Tom bola players have been affected by breast cancer in some way, either personally or through someone they love. And if there's one thing to take away from this is that checking your breasts should feel regular. So head to thes Tom Bowl ander Breast Cancer Now Hub is filled with a handy infographic on what to look out for and a whole load of information and content. Then send it to a friend or your group chat as a little reminder to check it on each other too because the more we talk about it and encourage each other , the more it becomes a habit we can actually stick to. Hi dolls, welcome back to Olivia's house. I'm already smiling . My guest today is one of the funniest people on the internet. She's chaotic, she loves a party, she's a singer , she's a presenter . Everyone is Ash . That was perfect. I can scratch her sing a bit. Come on . That was loose. We have to be able to touch on it. We were able to touch on it. Absolutely, my four second music career. Because I reckon a lot of people that know you from TikTok don't know that about you. I mean it's like a half and halfway house yeah. The law is unbelievable really bizarre law actually when you really go into it . But let's actually just set the scene for the audience when we last saw each other . Brit, I bumped into you recently. At the Brits. Brit. Okay, not that recent. Oh, the Brits. Okay, that's the saupa. I saw you. That was a regular bump in. Yeah. A bump in Hideidi Cloom's party love? Heidi Cloom's Halloween party in New York. You don't hear that every day. No, you just dropped in that cashew. Yeah, went with Gardier . We were like the classic meme on the internet of the two ends of the girls scale. Yes . It was hell, hell hell, it was literally that bit straight out of me girls where it's like, it's the one day of the year where girls can be a total slat and I didn't get the memo and I was in full prosthetics as Yisma from Emperors Newgrove and I came in of course they were all saying ersa. I don't remember there was someone else says it all the fact that they just didn't know what I was, but I was a purple woman in purple like guys just didn't seem prosthetic hook nose, prosthetic chin . How long were you in makeup? Straight from the airplane you went into about five hours. Barely see, I came in. Was it your room that we were in? Oh, no, you were just in there. It was like a communal major bedroom. Everyone was in and out and I'd been out the night before and I was shaking like a shit out of it. And you were already getting back on the saw. So you were there like this. Shaking. Yeah, I'm seeing you in your hot pants and I went, oh, I've made a great mistake here. I've really fucked it. Because I went, I thought people would go scary . Because I was afraid of know what you mean though. But also like then I was like, I wish I just went for fear. I just wish it was iconic though. Like you didn't it was taking. It's so I'm such a basic bitch. I always go for such. Like on I had the it looked really good. You didn't do it basic though. It was elevated it was like, you know, I went for the I had arsless chaps on. Like I was Jesse from Toy Story, but the adult version, I even had a bull's eye horse under my arm . And bullseye RIP, he got vomited on in an alley by me. Do you remember to stop the bus? Yes, you done ? I don't know if I walked. I think I made out a wife trip by June. On a branch of Garnier, who was just about to become the face of their hair colour. I think they' threinking what the fuck have we done? And you know what? You still are the face of the hair colour. We haven't pulled the contract and that's on Jesse. Yes. And that is our biggest week. Do you know, I don't normally get sick when I drink, but there is something in those free pore drink s in America that it hit the back of my throat in a way that I was like, it's kind of like a babe every time. Just traveling in general to be honest. I think anywhere beyond the UK just pours drinks like a madman. And I'm always don't know my limits because you just drink how you think you drink in London and you're like, Shit, I'm in trouble here. Yeah. And I woke up. I said, Well, how did you wake up? Because I woke up in my wig, the arsless chaps, the cowboy hat was flung across the room. It was a scene. I woke up so unwell because some of my gays from New York that were there at the same time met me in the hotel and I wanted to go and party, but I had to take my prosthetics off. So I said, Why don't you come and help me take my chin off? Can you imagine that as a sentence? Come and help me take my chin off and we'll go through the hotel bar. So we were just getting all the drinks out of the mini fridge. We were absolutely gone. Like it was so not okay. The chin off, the chin was off. Yeah, I didn't wake up with any chin or nose, thank God . I'm obsessed. Okay . All right, before we get into chats, what would you Ash like to leave at the door? What are you sick of? Can I do too? Yes. Oh, thank you. I love it when someone's got stuff to leave. But I could do like six but I'm okay. That's why I created this feature because I'm always ready to leave so it's actually really a good feature. Thank you. Okay , so first, my first one is we're leaving transphobia at the door to protect the dolls Jacob Rowland can rock . We hate her. Secondly , it was such a harry potter stand. Like really, like that's like my homely film on her childhood. I know. It's really annoying that she turned out to be such a rotter. She's so vexed. Yes. I think and I just don't get it because I'm like , it's really bizarre to me that it triggers you so much. I'm just very no pun intended living that live. That 's why does it bother you how somebody else wants to live their life? I just find that weird . Second thing is going home before two AM. Okay , right. Let's No, let's go because I saw the clip from your podcaster Jack and you were debating the theory that nothing good happens after two AM. Yes . And you guys put a very strong argument. I was literally like, yes, come on. Commented, being like, actually disagree . Yeah . Tell my audience your for the ch you'reampioning the post TAM club. Totally . I fear for the younger generation because I'm like beyond just getting fucked up like yes that's part of it that's really fun but I'm like I, feel so aw ful that the younger generation don't aren't like growing up the way that we did because where's the whimsy? Like where's the Tom Foolery? Where's like making the bad decisions and then learning from them and then being like, oh no. I was about to say won't do that again, but we will do that . But like that's all part of like growing and learning. I just like the stats on it are mentally, no, Liv. Like I've been like looking it up like I said. So you've actually been Yeah, just saying like they're inside they are so terminally inside but on their phones. That's fine, there's not you can't grow up like that. You can't you can't you need to learn like, you say, from mistakes, you need to get outside, you need to have experience. You need to have stuff to talk about. Like you say, it doesn't have to roll around drinking, but you just need to, like you say, kind of just they need to start a cautions to win. Yeah. And also, like, I have so many mates that are sober. Yeah, still do I and they are the life and soul of the party and they have like the people skills even that you learn when you're just like I met this person on this night and they're amazing. Yeah, it's that like meeting people that aren't necessar ily who you choose to spend time with you just like have a more worldly view when you just go out and do things. And those memories, those stories that you all like to take with you forever. And if you do end up in like, you know, ridiculous situations, it's humbling. Yeah, they need you humble these gents. You being sick out the bus. Look at you now, the face of Garnier. You need a few pets. What I'm saying is I need to see myself in that reflection in my ass's chats at seven AM to be like, girl , what the fuck? Yes. Do everybody say fuck around and find out where I have that? I don't know I'm gonna find out anything. I'm just fucking around because you're not doing the fuckeries. You're not doing the first one. You need to fuck around to find out. Yes, sir. Okay, but that's all really, really strongly about it. Yeah, I agree. Generally, I think 'cause I came from a like club world space as well of yeah, 'cause I know you did. That was like your bread and butter for a bit. And I think even that, like, the club industry's just dying. All these businesses are going bust , basically because there's just no audience for it. Anyway, put your matcha down, you can do your pilates in your forty and save our fucking economy. You could do both. I do both. Do you say you do? I do. Do you? You are that good. You will do pilates . You'll be on that machine just cking back in my infront my life, but it's balance. That's balancing. We need to find balance . one hundred percent . And to be fair, Mondays through Saturday, I'm an insufferable fuck. I'm in that gym five AM. I am that one that 's like, I'm better than everyone now . And then I wake up on a Sunday in the Arthur's chap. It brings me down a few pegs. . And it's like that stops me from being a cocky because I'm like, I see myself on both sides of the coin . Totally, but also it like even from a personal perspective, it gives you a bit of drive to be like, okay, I've had my fun. Back to the grind last week. Like you just need to find I was buying cubs and tables like I'm like, you know, ye,ah like I'm EM. Now I need to earn some cash. Now I need to hustle this with I need to actually get that bread. I get Oh my god. Okay, we touched on at the top X factor. Oh my god . Just let's just , do you know what's so funny? People are only clocking this year. Yeah, I feel like some of these old lore videos must be resurfacing. Maybe TikToks. And now we're talking about it. TikTok's gonna serve my garden. Yeah, you're gonna see it from start to finish, so good luck. It was two thousand and sixteen . Is that right? sixteen or seven, it's something around there. It's like the year I was on love island. Isn't that mental? Yeah, I was two thousand seventeen. Hideous, you know that nine years ago was it actually gross? Isn't it? Was it? Yeah, was that nine years? Me, quick math . And you went in a dough, I'm not doing that on this show anymore because I bought so many times . You went in in a band , yes. Simon Cow loved you . Simon Cow loves a girlie of colour, okay? I could I could have sung niche and I did sing it and Simon went ,'s She a st ar. And I went, Oh, amazing. He was rooting for you no matter . He wanted me to be his senita. And I was and I said, put me in palm leaves and make me a star. That's what I said . No, I'm fucking obsessed . So when you were on, you were in the band he said no was it your band or did they create your So basically this is actually the cat I think people don't realize this because we were speaking about this me and Jack on our pod recently that most people think that if you go on to X Fact Daddy as a band you've like been doing the guitar with them since you were eight in the garage gard. every Ione think thinks that, but so many of those bands are put together by production for full purpose of the show. So I auditioned, it wasn't necessarily by X factor production. I auditioned Bein a girl band, Laurel I was like a year before and it was a totally separate production company. Yeah. They put us together. So these weren't my childhood mates. You didn't really know them that way. No. And like I ended up really loving the girls, ab.s Absolutely. But when we got asked to go on to the show , we were like, I was the one that was hell bent on not doing it. Right. I wanted to be like a fifth harmony, like a destiny's Child R and B moment. Like cooler, like and also like scary. The expat is like, it could be a humiliation ritual. Like that. And I was like, I think it's gonna be that and it was . But I was like, I really don't want to go on it, but we were a group of five at the time. So there was a vote and it was four against one. So I was like, I can't hold all the girlies back. So I have to just do it. Let's just see how we get on. And I was like, twenty one, twenty two at the time. So I was like, whatever , what's the worst that can happen? And babe, it was the most like taxing experience of my life. Really? Oh my God, it was hell. Stressful. Stressful produced but not produced. Like they're doing a lot behind the scenes to produce it. But you don't you don't really know, but you kind of get an inkling as they're doing certain things and make like playing you like chess pieces. You're like, I see what you're doing here. Okay, kind of what Simon was doing to me the whole time . Right. And so he basically said he didn't got quite far. You got so we got to six chair challenge . Wait, the gag is our group was falling apart by this boy already. You were turning on each other or he had dismantled. We were turning on well basically the first producer audition , Simon said and this never aired, but he was like stop the audition, stop audition. You know, as he does, and he went , It's all right girls. And I was like, Oh God, you know , he went, It's not great. And I was like, all right, shoot me . And he went, Ah, you know, if you're going to continue in the competition, Ash needs to be your lead . I was not the lead. As in like my vocal was not giving shit at all . So I was like, Oh, Simon like so grateful, but honestly, it's fine . He was like, No, no, I'm telling you, I'm Simon Carol. If you want to continue you're going to be the lead. So I was like, you're thinking, I'm not the leader. No, I wasn't I was giving you a light two step and a bit of choreo and that was it. So I was like, shit, like, I'm gonna have to carry this on my back now . And that and they do that on purpose to create creates these rifts between the girls . And I think she really didn't like that. Of course. So after the first audition, she went, I quit. Oh gosh . So who we were like? So we were falling apart the seams by the time we were actually on air expected. So we were a member down. We didn't have a name because the girl owns the rights to the name. So she left and took the name with her no obes. And now that I think about it, it's very deaver of her It's actually quite leaving and I'm naming the battle and by the way you have no name and none and we were like, okay , so we struggled with fighting our way through the whole competition. We got to six chair challenge. Remember when they had to do that? That was like a later series format when they all sit on the you sit on the side of the stage , you perform on and off and then if you lose a chair, you're out. Yeah. It's very hunger games . I've savage. It's weird. And we got to six chair challenge and all the chairs already filled. We were like half, I think this is over . And we got a no as we thought because we were absolutely bolocks. And then we went off stage and they don't let you leave for whatever reason, you know, it's all production and whatnot. And I was like, oh, I'm going to go. So I r ang my dad. I'm crying my eyes out. I'm going to saw God to pull up. I said, Can you bring a KFC bargain bucket? I'm in Wemberly Stadium. Pick me up and let's get out of here basically. And he went, yeah, I'm on route. So my dad's on his way with a KFC bargain bucket. I'm cold by the minute. Yes, exactly right. I'm still there. That stuff doesn't keep well. It's awful. It's not crisp anyway. It's yeah. So I went, okay my, dad's on route. They're still not letting us go. I've kicked my shoes off. I'm out back. I'm like, I'm done with this over it. Yeah. All of a sudden I hear Derma on this screen. This is like live in Wembley Stadium as well . So he goes,, Ash Ash. So I fuckin' wait , what is Ash they talking about? He's like, No , Ash. I was like, What? He was like, Simon wants you to go back out on stage. I went, I'm so sorry, I can't do that. And like my bargain bucket's literally on the way. And he went, no, no, Simon Cow is asking you live back on stage right now and I went, Oh my god, like I'm going to die. So I've popped my shoes I'm gonna run it . And they get the whole scene as well. And you can tell like you can sit, I watch it back now and think, Oh my god bless you. You had no idea what the fuck was going on. No, and so many people think that part of it was all staged and it really was really what I am like what is going on ? And there were a group of girls that were all soloists that had been given a no but he'd made into a band. God was it was little mix right. So I was like , oh my God, they're making a new little mix. Like I'm going to be a star. You thought this , 'cause that's what they did for the little mix, isn't it? They brought them all together. Oh , and that was only like a few years before. So it was very much like he was following the trend of like action little mix, blah blah blah. And yeah, and that was it. It was and then did you guys perform together? Yeah, but was it awful ? Absolutely awful . And I came out on the stage obviously deer in headlights. I went, Hey guys . You know that Dick Duck was like, Hey . And then I was like, Cricket. Yeah. And I went and Simon went, Oh, Ash, is it all right if you sing with these girls? I went, What is going on? He went, Do you know the song they're singing? I'm thinking, I've just been on the phone to my dad altering this chicken. Chicken song . So I went, No, I don't know what we're doing. He went, Oh , girls, this was a humiliation ritual. He went, girls, can you teach Ash the chorus live on stage Girls are running around their live and I'm trying to learn this. And you don're in Memory Stadium. Yeah, it's full of people. Simon's there, Nicole Shirzig is there, Sharon, like, everyone's watching this happen. I'm actually getting sweaty listening to this actually you're describing one of my nightmares. And also , thank God, I wasn't like, you know, when the young ones go on and they're like sixteen. Yeah I was twenty two and kind of at least knew myself at that time. I don't know how girls go on that when they're boys or anyone, when they're that young and like it's horrible , but I sung this awful performance . And then Simon went, So Ash, do you want to be in this group? I just went, Yeah , I guess. Like, what is happening? It was so weird, Liv, honestly . I am obsessed with, I'm obsessed with all of that. And you're never gonna get your deathbed and say I don't have stories 'cause you know, you've lived. Yeah . And we'll get on to more later on. You met your best mate on there.. You met him I actually learnt that just recently. I didn't know that you met on there. That is the most incredible way to meet you don't know 'cause you always was a boy bat and you were in a skillband, whatever I was, yeah, the sound of music waiting for your chicken . And that's how you met. That's out there. Obsessed with that. And we always say like as traumatizing as X factor was, just as an experience. Yeah, like, thank God we, went on and met each other and we kind of really like trauma bonded through over it judges' houses basically because we went together. Yeah. And it also is like, I know from obviously love Ireland and friends I've got from that show when you go for an experience like that, and someone else has done it, you can't explain to anyone else. No , actually lived it. Yeah. So yeah, you have to kind of have done it together. You came close to a love island appearance. Is that right or is that false news? No, that's not false news. They slept or less did you pull out or did they pull out on you? Because if they pull out you, they slept on each tv gold there . That is on them if you know what now I praise the Lord because I think I would have got cancelled one hundred percent , but you would have been so good. It was the, I'm trying to think what year it was . What year was it? We'll have to dig out the archives and find out, but I yeah, so I went through they kept messaging me, you know, the whole like the outreach team do all this stuff on Instagram and I remember being like do I want to do this? I don't know. And I went in for that producer chat because I was like, it can't hurt. Whatever. And they strung me along till like quite the end. They do. They were basically like, they were getting my sizes to the challenges and stuff. And I was like, Oh shit, am I going? And at that stage I was, like, I don't even know if I'm going to go on this. Like, I'm here now . And then last minute they went elsewhere and they were like, I'm so sorry. Like it was literally 'cause I would have been a bomb show. It wasn't like original. So the show would only start.s Yes. Right. I remember thinking, guys, like what's happening? It's already on. Yeah . So I was really on Tento hooks for ages. And then they got back to me last minute and they were like, I'm really sorry we've decided to go another way. And I remember at the time you know when you don't want to do something , but when you get a know you're like now I really want to try it again . That's just what I mean. I don't even think I wanted to go on it. Once it's like the option's taken away then, you feel devastated. It was like I wanted to be the one to be. Imagine little me to ITV no , I actually don't wanna do that. And then you watched the next bomb show in go in, and you're like, Are you fucking sick? Her room meat. Totally. Totally. So I was so bitter buried that season. I did watch it that season, I don't think. But now you're hired you didn't. Yeah. I don't even think it would have been a bad moment. Like Nevada, you're just like something that yeah . I think it's nice. It's so nice to know now in hindsight that like I didn't need it because it was a really nice full circle moment actually. Last year I got on to set to do all the press stuff because I did the whole season of Aftersun . And the woman that was speaking to me about going on the show. Yeah , all that all those years ago was on set and she went, Ash I just have to say I was the one that had to call you and let you go. So she was like, it's just so nice to know that either way, you ain't fucking leaving. Exactly. Exactly. I'm coming back one way or another one way or another, I will be there. So that was actually quite nice. I'm you know, it sounds like I hate people say stuff like this, but I believe it. Like if it was you, you would have on it. You know what I mean? There's a reason why it wasn't. And I think that you say that I always just believe in that. Yeah . Divine timing. Divine timing and you know, I don't know what series it was, but people have mixed experiences on there. I had a great time. Some people fucking hate it. I was gonna say, did you really love it? I really loved it. Like, don't get me wrong. And like I was series three . Like that was when it was Sab, you were heyday hayday. They were so there were days when it was like, you know your ear and it's like in my series series three the challenges were challenging. We had the Main Sewet challenge. We had the lie detector, which I do think was a better era of entertainment, but obviously being the entertainment subject. It was some days the America's next top model of it all, isn't it? It's like at that time believed my god. Now, oh my god, like it's welfare crisis. Yeah , it's just but I think and I think you're really lucky aunt you just think I'm quite thick skinned. Like my would mum top model after school photos like on the kitchen table, like I'm joking . So what and be like, this is why you haven't brushed your hair. Like I said you just lazy eye gap in your teeth. No . Mom just fell out. Why she was she was a model. So she 's gorgeous . But yeah, so I feel like I have situated . I can imagine she's funny. But yeah, so I had thick skin so I think I rose to it and I actually enjoy attention negative or positive. So I was just doing my element every day round with everyone. Like I was like trying to put it in such a good year . But I know some people said they hated it. They'd never do it again and so I just think it's to me it was like I was like, I'm off work for eight weeks. I'm living in the sun. And you think it was going to be what it ended up being? Because you have to remember series two, some of those guys now have gone on to do have really good careers but almost like their careers like bloomed late. I have series two ones that blew up. They had Instagram followers but not like shitloads. They were doing PAs earlier season. Yeah. So I'm thinking , my literal top line goals was like some more Instagram followers to do PAs would be that the dream. Yeah. Take my friends to liquid, massive free table. Literally, that was like taking your friends to liquid being the goal. My PA night, like my name on the screen. And then it's like some free cards. Like that was like as high as our gifting. Yeah gifting. Some gift. And then little did we know came out and literally signed the contract to my own TV show with Chris like the two weeks after leaving it. Yeah, it all happened really fast which I also love that I got to experience that in naivety . Now off there's so much expectation people, have so much they want out. And I think it makes people hold back . We were unhinged. We thought we had nothing to lose. Little did we know we had everything to lose. Yeah, it but people say that that's like you can never get that back. You can never get inn thatocence back. That essence of it. Like people, don't get me wrong, that show will always be watched. It can always be good TV. But like people say that that's what it's lost because there's so much at stake now that everyone's like overdeeping everything. A hundred percent. And also, I feel that you know, I think I'm unfiltered and I don't know how to put the filter on. So within a few days, I think I just forget and start behaving the same . But if I were on Love Viol nowin, of course my brain would be like, You know what can happen? You a PR machine? You'd be like, I know what my answer needs to be here. It's like when I see the clips on TikTok from my series, it's like, you know, we used to sit 'cause we were sm gonnaoke on my series. So I said that I had a pack of fags in my hand while smoking in my underwear, not in a bikini, underwear hoodie, no makeup. Like we looked like we were on benefit straight. Like was that good for that? And that's so now the days of thinking of the contracts so they're doing the glam. I didn't wear makeup until the sun went down any day. By the way , how are you like I feel so when I watch the girls and I'm singing the hair through the straighteners for the nineteenth thousand time. I think, oh my god, I don't know how they're doing it. Like fair play to them because it's actually on my series, there was no hair, makeup nails. I went to that final with three bot int myles head and one acrylic . It was not a single grip on life yeah. I remember we were waxing each other's own assholes with strips from the supermarket before the final. But that's magic. Yeah, it's like memory like forever, but we're like those girls we waxed each other's arse holes so they could walk do you know that we buried that? We fucked up we've paved the way for you now they get their nails done with the foundations. They have no idea. Yeah. They have no idea. That's funny. You mentioned you're a dad in the bargain bucket. You brought up your dad, didn't you? Yeah. You super close. Oh , he is like I could honestly do a whole hour podcast just about my dad. He was like the best person in the world. He's like my best mate . I've just like never known anyone to be like so selfless. He's the most like reasoned man ever. Like you could like you could kill someone and go to Phil Home and go , shit, this is what I've done. And he'd go , fuck, let's sit down . Like he's just so bal banalcedanced, . Yeah. And like he's just such a good role model for everything on a show. Do you think having a dad that is so like, he's so steady, so calm is allowed you to be like , do you know what? I mean Because you're like, you're fun, you're off the wall. Is it because you felt like you're safe, you always tell this person's shoe. And you know what? I actually think I mean that as long as you meet people that have erratic parents very rigid because they said they've had to be like the adult. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and also I mean, yeah, not to get too deep into it, but my mum wasn't present in our life growing up. She left when I was about thirteen and then I didn't haven't seen her since. Wow. And I think me and my dad went through so much like we were in the trenches together. So I think beyond that, now we're kind of like our commitment to life is just like enjoy it. Nothing is ever that deep. And I think it's quite a nice like freeing thing to just be like we've really been in like a bad way growing up. So we were like now we're just enjoying everything and he's very just like, do you guess I have perspective when you go through something that's truly traumatic? It's like yeah you say like life can be so much fucking worse. Yeah, let's just have fun. It's exactly that and he's such a champion of like anything I do because I mean, you know, ADHD Central, I've got a new goal, a new career path I want to take every five minutes. But I think because, you know, I wake up and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to be a world renowned DJ and he's like, cool. He's just on board for you. He's just like, anything that is better than what we were in at one point in our lives good for you girl. Like go on. So it's so nice to have him. It's just like, he's such a rock. And obviously, pushing back of this is too personal, but you've had contact with your mum then since that. And even now, you're in this forum, she's not. You know what's funny? She must have seen you on stuff. Yeah, well , how weird is this? So again, more law, all roads lead back to X Factor, I fear. So when I was on X factor, people must have told her or something she must have found out that I was on it . The girl group I was in , we were at one of the girls' houses practicing and rehearsing and her mum went Ash I met your mum out today. One of the girls in the band said I met your mum. Yeah. Her one of the girls' mums whose house your mum said I met your mum out today just like while I was shopping . I went, my stomach has fallen out my ar kind of question. What are you talking about? Bear in mind that at this point, I've not seen or heard from her in at least ten years . So I went, what? And she got talking to this woman. And turns out, my mum was going around basically saying , My daughter's on X factor. And I thought the absolute cheek. Yeah, I know. Can you imagine? I mean, if it's a claim to fame, I'm not good for you, babe but it must be such a bizarre thing like to say to be an estrange parent and then to also then to like admit that . Do you know immediately say then if they ask, well how is she doing? Then she can't actually answer that question she doesn't know. And I'm like, I'd be mortified if I was here like, I'd have to that I wouldn't be able to like say that or go there because you know deep down what the truth is but yeah, it was very weird. Thank you for sharing with that with me because I do feel like it's a bit having a strange parent. I do think it's something that a lot of people more, people than you think are living with that. But there's a lot of shame around it. And I think a lot of people find it hard to admit that because people probably say dumb shit to you all the time. Oh, why don't you call her up and make up and do you feel offering like they're two pence? You know what you get one moment or some stupid moment like that? It was actually boys I used to date that really wouldn't get it. Especially like mum's boy. Like yeah. I had a few exes that would be like , Oh, but you know , she's your mum. Like, are you not gonna have her at your wedding someday? And I went, Oh, respectfully, like, you have no idea. No idea. I really don't know. So yeah, there definitely was a bit of that. I also think it's so I guess alien with my situation because a lot of people have it the flip side. Yes, it's the dad . Yes . A lot of people, I know so many mates are strange from their dad and their mum is their rock. And I think sometimes it's nice to highlight the other end of it because there aren't many single dads doing . But they should be represented like in a way. No. And like you say, like, that you say dad's cut a lot of bad flack and like , you know, and there aren't like, this I always find this podcast. People always think that this like a man hating podcast. Yeah . We hate when appropriate. We hate men. Yeah, but I men there are a lot of those. And there's like my dad, like, I'm like, I couldn't criticize that guy if I tried. Holy. So that you say, it's , you know, there is a little rally is. I mean, the slogan is not all men and I know at least like that unfortunately yeah there's just a lot that eroters Yeah and the bars on the floor literally yeah I actually I caught myself divided and I was actually like I actually felt so like this it's actually it's not funny at all. Like I was so funny though is it's serious. So it's very serious. Someone asked me the other day like what a friend of mine's husband was like and I was like, oh my god is it totally nice I. was So like,'s actually He a good husband. I was like, doesn't change. It's the actor doesn't get so bad. Oh, it's actually a good husband. Yeah. And then actually just list of things a basic human detail doesn't beat her, doesn't cheat, doesn't gamble. Like, you know what I I mean? was like, how are these things I'm actually giving you credit for is actually mental? Yeah. And then I was like, 'cause like the bar is on the floor , the bar is our little toe. Like them sharing and just being respectful semi dis ability was like keeping their dick in their pants well yeah. Well, I mean he doesn't show you this one amazing. Like you know what I mean? Like it's actually yeah we're praising a lot of mediocrity which we should need to stop doing I fear. And like you say when, we do have those friends who have those partners we put on a pedestal , normally the things are just bare mint. Yeah, like just like but we almost the time all of my mates are like about my boyfriend. Now and my boyfriend is amazing. Like not shitting on him by any means, but they're like, God, Chris is amazing. And I'm like, Chris is just a good man. Like, which should be that should be the default. That should be that I'm standing as a good boy. Like come on You call your dad, is this right at home? Autistic kitten ? Yeah, so my I don't even care. The big autistic king. So my dad is really ? Right. Is your dad diagnosed? Or have you diagnosed him? No, I've diagnosed him. Ash. This is a different generation. He won't do that now. My dad would my dad would never. My dad was having like a mini sort of heart attack. It was like ten years ago he started to have these severe chest pains . He put himself to bed trying to sleep it off. Like, he wouldn't go to the doctor if his leg was hanging off. Oh yeah, let alone go and get like neurologically assessed. Yes. So when I obviously I'm ADD, my brother's ADHD and my mum my mum and dad are like hasn't come from us as if we've got like kudies. While my dad is like organiz ing like toy cars on his desk the spurred . And you're like the riding's on the wall there. Yeah, the collectible cars around the house at the minute is crazy towns. It's like , you know, have you ever seen the clip of that woman who hoards? And you go into a house and she's like in an amongst bookshops piles of files and she's like hello. That is my dad at the minute. Like it is crazy . And I'm like not on the spectrum at all, no. So he likes stuff . Lots of stuff. Anything in particular ? No, there's no like, I wouldn't say there's actually a category thing that he loves. He's a huge reader to the point where like very intelligent , he a lot of my vernacular is from him. He's like, sometimes I'll say stuff and I'll go that is your dad. You said that is your dad. I mean, he'd read the whole of the Lord of the Rings trilogy by like six years old. Like, it's that kind of thing . And you're like so yeah, my dad was like building like Toyota planes and cars his brothers used to beat him up for it . And then he like when I was younger he used remember going in his office and I didn't think my dad's the opposite. I say my dad is like autistic with like an OCD sprinkle. Okay , everything's super organized, super neat. It's like I was talking to my dad the other day and I realized that every time I leaned and I just sort of touched his car took this cloth out and cleaned the fingerprints off. And then I kept going and then he kept cleaning it and then he was like for sake and then it became a social experiment that Yeah, you don't think there's anything wrong with you but you have to take off the finger every time I touch a scar It's so fascinating interesting to observe them. Find it really, really interesting. Yeah, watching my dad is like watching. Oh my god, we went to we were at like a cafe recently. Ah, his brain, we were inside a cafe and he was like this , like really pondering. And I was like, you're right, daddy. And he went, It's just fantastic, isn't it? And also what's fantastic? He was like, Life, it's just full of so many people and you wonder where are they going? What are they doing? Where have they come from? And I went, Wow that's peaked you watching me. Exactly. And it's very profound if you think about it. I was like, wow, you're re spitting some bars there. He's that kind of person. There's so much going on in that brain. I'm like, wow, I'd just love to be in there for a day. Oh I'm actually really obsessed with you . I'd love you to meet him. Is he jokes? In his own way. Oh God, in his question really funny. He's great. Talking being funny as one funny hunt to another there's no one gets out of here. No one's funny without some shit going on. And if you're funny and hot, you got some lore, right? This is what I say. It's childhood trauma. You got some one at home hood trauma. It's like the foundation of everything. That's that TikTok that's like, you're so funny. I'm like, thanks my family's had meetings about me. That's literally me. That is literally me. I always say thanks my mum put a curse on me when I was younger. That's actually true. She left and curse on a witch a witch curse yet. When did you realise that you could make people laugh? Because I remember I actually remember quite distinctively for me the feeling of making people laugh and how I liked that feeling. Yeah. It was when I was at school and I was like lagging behind in class. Okay. I realized I'd been the class clown, it deflected from the fact that I didn't know the fox going on. Right. So then I really locked onto that because I was dyslexic and I was ADD and I was behind always and used to stress me out. But then I realized this is where I shine. Yeah, if I can be a prat and do something everyone laughs, it would be a feeling of validation. It's so funny. Mine's actually quite similar to that. So I think given that my home life at the time was really like turbulent. And at that time, you're just turning a teenage girl. your weird female influence is then leaving us and like you're hormonal and you don't really get like you don't know yourself at all at that age and like twelve, thirteen. Like you've just got your period . Body snatches. You go to bed like in warm body and you wake up and you're like totally wow, where did these babylons come from? This is a male no it didn't happen for me. I had to go to the doctor. No, I might have fake. I had nothing. Yeah, had nothing. I've been thinking about doing that. Anyway, that's that's the story for another day. But I think it was kind of similar to you . I think my home life was so turbulent at a specific time that I think it goes one of two ways. You either really become an introvert and you are kind of so jaded by that experience that you find it hard to be an extroverted person, but for me it went the totally opposite way. I remember there were times when I was like actually a bit terrified to go home. So for me like school was like I was like, Oh I'm putting on a show and I'm at school because that's like and it wasn't even not necessarily me. It wasn't like I was putting on an act, it was that I can be my full exuberant self at school and people like it . So it was very much that and then at home I was really this like shell of myself while all of that was going on. So school was like an escape for you. Oh I loved school was like the best thing in the world for me and then like every school play I was like front and center front center, jazz hands. I was like, this is where I'm thriving. This really makes sense for me. So yeah, I think it was like that around school time. Is it true that you used to go dress as LEG to every non uniform day Everything. And why LEG? I know it was a cult thing when we were growing up, but why did you know? Why don't you ask that little because I don't know . And the thing is, it worked . So I did it one day for, I think there was a World Book Day. Do you remember World Book Day ? LAG doesn't have a book. I just had the costume for such a good point Such a good point. The costume was lying around and I thought, you know what? This might hit . So yellow shell suit, yellow shell suit, the hat, the chain, I used the last sh red of little Maybelline eyeliner pencil that I had, two pounds something to do my drawn on beard . And I went, I reckon this is either going to go down like a lead balloon or this is going to really get everyone going. Got to school and I was really in character. It was all you know, me Julie . Everyone loved it. And I went, Oh God, well if it's not broke, don't fix it. I'll come suddenly eat . Do you think I'll start the fourth non uniform medical I actually fucking come? Exactly. No, they must in that yellow shell soon. Ash, get a new gig. Like, are you alleged tribute act? Just be something else. And I was like, But it's working. I did all the sports rays. No, I fuck off. Four hundred meters spring. Absolutely no square. In the track actually now the more I think about it out. Oh my god this sounds like this sounds like it was like a crutch for you. Yeah, I think it was. I think that's childhood trauma . The school allergy, it's all gonna be okay. The school counselor goes, she's gonna be bad at home. She's in the allergy outfit. And then I wonder like, yeah, did maybe the parent did the faculty know at that stage and they're like, you know what? Blazzo. Just let her go in through it. Let her be allig. It's not even non uniform day, but let's just leave it . Imagine me psychos everyone in their places. Your beard on honestly, stranger things have happen ed . Oh my God, I'm obsessed. Talking of unusual things. One of my favorite clips from your podcast are Jack, is you're talking about your CV. So when you come you kind of post ax factor world, you're you're coming into the entertainment industry . You've got the old CV going and you 've embellished pain . I've got a list of fingernails and ribbons and all sorts on that CV. You've got wrestling stunt artists . My favorite is just circus . That's what kills me because I don't know what that entails . I don't know what that means. Overhead 's the umbrella term. So I think it's just anything in that sphere. Drag . That one I say. Yeah. Venqilla quest . Yeah. So is that when you put your hand in side of Clown . That's true . That's the only accurate one actually on that . Have you ever been booked for a job and they've called up on one of these skills? No, I thought, o myh god I was like , do you know what it was right? It was coming from like a performer world. Yeah , you really had to throw everything at the wall and just be like, I can do all these things. I mean, a lot of people from musical theatre they do say that that's what you have to do. You book the job and you find out later and you worry. Yeah, it's the fuck around. You have to just go yes, I'm a ventratoquist. I will figure out how to do that once I book theed job. In like thirty six hours time I will have a dummy and I will have a whole job totally and I'm gonna put that shit on. But right now you just have to go for it because otherwise you're getting no gigs. You don't luckily Oh yes that',s true. You dance for Asher. I'm going to go through some of your jobs. Yeah. Wait , that's so let's talk about the dancing for Asher thing. Was that pre or after ? That was actually just before I quit like performing to do what I'm doing now and like content and social media restaurant. As you dance with him on tour, what was that like? Amazing. Is he nice? He's everything that you think ultrasound is going to be like he came in and we were all rehearsing and he was doing like a little sound check and he would like started singing one of his like just ultimate usher tunes. My boo I, think it was everyone , you know, in like a pin drop, everyone just went , we were like, Oh my God, Usher is singing my boo right now. Like five . He sounds like Jesus. Oh my God voice for angel. Oh Oh, he's so he's so professional and so lovely . And like at the end of the performance would be like, Girls, thank you so much. Like, he's just scrambled. Oh, that's really what it's so nice to actually hear about a piece of shit. Because I know all we hear now is all our charged icons are turning out to be terrible people and it's nice to know. To like never meet your heroes but actually meet Usher. Unreal. Yeah. Did you get into any like crazy art parties, stories , any meet, any like big people backstage . Oh, well, I used to work at the box. Okay, well that was going to go on So that was just so if people don't know the box and so ho , how do we for our gen Z who are not outside? How do we the box is a club that has ? Yeah, you explain you work there. How do you even describe such a party house? It's basically gold, what would you even say? It's a club. It's a club. Which has live entertainment. Yes. A lot of famous people . It's kind of like a show nightclub. Yeah. So each bread and butter are performances and they're very quirky , very quiet . They're very like toe the line between like there's like the line of sex and it really goes over that line. It's very adult very adult, x rated, promiscuous. I used to do this thing where like I was, what did you do there? Oh, so I was just a dancer at stage dancer. I would be in the shows. , but not the crazy crazy town ones. I was always doing choreography in the show or generally doing like the catwalk. So before the main show starts, you do the dark , yeah. Okay. And everyone who's anyone has been to the box, like every celebrity you can think of in the world has been there has been there. So when people are like, Oh my god, what names have you got to drop off? Like where do you want to start? Genuinely because in its heyday, I feel like it's slightly less actually no because wasn't it Margaret Robbie there like literally like last month I heard? Yeah her husband and all their mates. I think it's still it really is still that there was one time where we were partying late into the night with Orlando Bloom. Like it was just everyone . Leonard DiCaprio loved it. Yes, he loves the box , Rianna , Kendall Jenner, just genuinely everywhere. I used to come in there. There was I remember there was a night where I was knackered. I'd done like five nights on the truck . I had nothing, no juice left in me. I'd also partied on all those nights. That's where it all went down hill for me. Working in that project. Mixing business with pleasure. Business was mixed with pleasure every night and that's the problem. So I was like, this is not good for my for my mental well being . But we were there one night and I was like two stepping and I was like , please let it be over. When's it's going to end and all of a sudden they start playing this like big bashman music I was like, It's four AM guys . We're not winding down with the snow. Let's get these fuckers out. Right. And they went , right? Rihanna's coming in . We want you to dance for her. I went , cool. We're going to keep the club open like another two hour s and it was just like Rihanna, Winnie Harlow, like everyone just comes in. Gotcha. Do you know what starts playing? Pour it up , pull it up, pull it up, Rihanna's song. Now I'm dancing half naked to Rihanna to her song Ow To her face. Were you like having an outer body experience? Yes. Did you suddenly go into fifth gear where you're like, I'm awake? Tenth? Ten. She must have been looking at me thinking, who is this weird woman gyrating in front ? I was like, This is my time. I'm giving It must have been quite uncomfortable for, you know? And I just thought , This is my time. I'm dancing in front of the piano. Like you have to send it. You've got half house no. Otherwise I'd be disappointed in myself . I'd rather be a bit weird than not. Yeah yeah, there was there was like a million you got to write this book you've done four days but like you say you are now in the TV content creating space full time . When did you decide to fully make that kind of shift and you're like, I'm gonna hang out the ventric dummy Oh no, that's still there. I'll do that for you. Circus yeah back burner the back burner is so funny . You know what? I think like most people that kind of fall into content and the social media space, like it wasn't you just never know what the plan is you just don't know how that kind of thing is going to go. I remember like for ages I was posting TikToks doing like dance routines and nobody I can't imagine being prepared nobody I was like I'm a dancer I'll just dance. So I was doing like the you were doing what you thought you should do. Yeah, 'cause it's like that's what you say, that's what I do. Yeah. Like this makes sense. And nobody cared, minus two views, it was all flop, flop, flop. And I went, okay, I don't think this is for me. And then one day I remember I came, I think I was watching Peaky Blinders at the time. Yeah . I basically was in love down boots with Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blind, who wasn't at the time. So I did a whole rant about it and it went really viral and I went, Oh right is it like I just need to and it was the whole meet talking to camera like that you can see up my nostrils and everyone was like I feel like I'm on face time to my to like a best in. Yeah . And I was like , oh, ding ding, I quite like that. This style of concept maybe I just keep doing that. And then it just kind of like spiraled just basically kept pushing it from there and then kind of simultaneously also like being a struggling dancer but then like creating content trying to create content and then eventually it got to a point. I really I could have actually quit dancing earlier than I did , but I really wanted I just wanted to feel safe and secure in wanting to be sure. Yeah . And also it's such a fickle industry. I was like, but tomorrow I get no views on this video and I have to go back to the grind. Like that's how it works. At least you know you've got like in you. Like you're a grafter like you could you could be agile and like shift it if you needed to . Yeah. you And know you can, do in your back locker. I always think I 'm so grateful. I lived a bit of a life before doing this and had other jobs. I always think that about Love Island. It's like , yeah, in that I was twenty three when I went on, it's like I had done a lot. I'd traveled the world, I'd done different jobs. Like a lot of people that go on Love Island at nineteen. They literally finish union or they live at home. There's no life before you're in this really weird life. Like and I was like glad that I had like I said, lived before I was in this weird mirror as well. Like influence the world is weird. Yeah. And like you know, brand trips. They're weird. Like there's nothing normal about going places and getting things for free. And I think if you like say people lived , they're this is going to sound bitchy. They're the people who it affects them and they turn into Tuesday because they've got no reference . But let's say, I've, you know, we've been humbled. You've like danced in the box, your feet blooded. I've been on a race track in my bikini getting hugged by like, you know, two thousand men. And I've been here for Tuppens. Yeah, I but I had to make a living. And I think that that's why then you have a perspective of like, okay, this is really fun what I'm doing . This isn't real life. Totally. It's like this is not how it's not a real existence very strange yeah, utopian existence isn,'t it? It is and I think it makes you appreciate it more. Appreciate it differently and like come with things from a different perspective and like again kind of that nothing is this deep wow, how amazing that we're able to film some videos and not lunative. Yeah. That's it. But it's will be fine if that wasn't there which is a really nice feeling to have, I think. Definitely. Yeah. You've got your own podcast with your best m ate Jack. Yes. You met on the explat , as we now know. What was your first impressions of him? Do you remember first meeting him ? Yes, I do, but it was funny because we were rivals when we first met because I forgot fighting for that chair on sixth chair challenge. So we but it was never that way. I mean she was just this like exuberant, like huge character, like straight . I remember we were on this bus together on X factor and he was the one that was up and dancing and shouting over there. And I was like, okay, yeah. I found my person over there. And that's who I want to go and speak to. So I went over and I remember what we imagine what we bonded over was, do you remember Sonya from was it East Enderson Sony? Yeah Sonya, yes. Yeah . Somebody there was there was a meme that said What doesn't kill you will make you sonya and we thought it was the funniest thing in the world and it was like game over from then we were like we were just you just yeah it was just like we're really getting on . You talked to your pod recently and I was like we mean you were lined on so many thought processes. You're talking about like the value of gay men in your life and I harp on about this all the time because me and you we are professional bags and I was like, you know , my birthday party the other week, one of my friend's boyfriends arrived early and she was like just go upstairs and like hang with Liv's friends and he'd like called in a panic. He's like, it's just like ten gay dudes. So I was like, I can bite you. You were like, yes, single wedding looks like a grip. My wedding was like a pride event. Like honestly I honestly my whole life is a bride of Edley. It's so tea. I love it. I would not have it anywhere. Me neither. And don't get me wrong, they remind me all the time, but I actually dread to think how ugly and lay my be if I didn't have that. I couldn't agree more. Or even how cocky I'd be. Like they bring me back down . And also build me up. It's that they'll build you up and then they'll be like bitch. They'll also be honest like it's just it's just such a like joyful community. I always say like I never feel as comfortable . Bear in mind, I used to work in those really straight every night horror was hay all footballers and everything was derogatory and I remember feeling so yep, yeah . And then you go to heaven in so and it's just every queer person you've ever met going, come on, girl , but in the most respectful way ever. And I'm like, oh, this is what joy in existence feels like. Like it's just so nice. Yeah, one hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, it's all gay, queer people, but it's like my gay men, their humour . I think it aligns because it's the self deprecation of like what they've been through on their journey, like their bravery . It's like there's just a humor , there's a there's a sort of they just say it how it is. I've always aligned with and you either get it or you don't. And I've always been like, that's like my language the way they talk . And we were talking before my I've got a couple of gay friends that if I tried to keep up with them on a holiday , I'm gonna be ten feet under. I know I want to have to tap out. But don't hurt neighbors. You know, one of my one of my main viral videos and I was like growing on socials was these guys are trying to kill me and it was after a night actually through that. It was after a night in it was in Mexico I say a night three nights in Mexico I'd been to about nineteen venues and live. I thought I can't, I cannot go on any further. I'd woken up in like a full pair of dior sunglasses. I was there like this and I was like decrepit. And I brought my phone up and I went, driving me and it was so true. But it was amazing. It was amazing. Yeah, it was just I've seen so much. I've had Mark drag me from my bed in Vegas where my feet are literally blood coming from my feet. And I'm like, I can't go on. Yeah. And he's like, Get up. We're going out They just, yeah. Someone needs to do an actual scientific like test on gay men. Someone wants to cut open Jack Remington's body . It's fuck like he needs to donate his body to he's AI I think . He's AI all made of vibranium. It's crazy lib. Like were you haven't done a night out? Like I'll start we haven't we have to. That's criminal. We have to. My best friend Mark after my birthday the other week and it went on to like we went in the ship club till five AM right . I went to sleep. I woke up like I don't know nine ish. I literally was like, do I nine nine? Is this the time I asked? I need a drip. You need like not just one of those like phantoms I knew oxygen . I called him and he had actually gone later than me because he went to fire he'.d only So been in pit of hell fire. He said to me, he was like, It was a mistake, but I did it. And then I was like, What are you doing rustling around? He's like, get ready for the gym. Yeah . Yes, he's ready for the gym. I can't even barely lift my drink my glass of orange juice from the side for the gym. It really teaches you resilience because I'm almost like now I've got so used to Jack Jack will be out till seven AM and have two hours sleep. I'll ring him and go, Ah, I just got a lovely bouquet flowers from the flower market. I went what are you saying? I can't even see . He goes, I'm going to spin in a minute. What? But it makes you go. I just get up and get on with I think you have to get up and get on. Is it a mindset thing? Is it? Yogas are a lot of mindset, aren't they? Sometimes, you know, like, have you ever been on a real hangover when you've had to go to a job. Yeah. We just talked earlier about I did something clean . Yes right now I'm in my pajamas Hi I've done podcasts are the worst on life looking opposite someone for an hour and you want to be like so on. No, I filmed a full Christmas TV advert on No Slave Wentworth Frow and I was dressed as an elf . I looked at my agent at about four o'clock and she goes, they're running over and be hanging out when you're feeling like that I'm gonna die No. I'm going to die in the street. It is awesome. Positive mental attitude if you make if you wallow and sometimes you know only have those days where you've been absolutely clouted, but you've got through the day and you go , I don't know how I did that. But you had to. Yeah. So like, I think it's a bit of that. What do you where do you stand and do you get it anxiety ? Not at all. No, I wish I could I knew you were going to say that. Jack always says to me like you could do with a bit of anxiety. Yeah. I wish I sometimes thought oh, shouldn't have said that. Don't give a fuck . It catches me once. I say on the whole, I don't get it. No, everything's funny. And if I wake up the next day and I'm like, I think about people that I've met me where I was like a rat from hell and they're going to go stay mates Oh, I met Lyfa last night. She's a freak . Like it actually wasn't my friend last night that was the devil . It actually makes me laugh to think of them recanting the interactions to their major. I think also some people , like some people in that mood or in the like going out mode, it makes them worse. I think I know I'm never not I'm never like nasty on a night out or anything like that. Even if I'm not yeah, that's so great . Yeah. I know I'm only just me times a hundred, but true. Definitely, I'm sure he's annoying his hair old but I'm like, I might have shown you my breast against your your without consent or like I'm welcome. Yeah , you're welcome. So I might have done something but yeah , I'm never aggie. I'm never getting. So it's never that it's more. And then I guess the only anxiety now that's kind of ruined just a little bit of like media anxiety . I have been packed doing something that then I mean you have to worry about that a lot . Yeah, that's the only thing that I get a little bit of like a bit of pit in my stomach like I think but do you have to like yeah I guess you do. Do you have to think about I want to do, but then it's more would you know what it is? It's like, you know, like if you get papped doing something, obviously you got forgot pap doing something terrible, it's all over even if you're falling out of a nightclub or whatever, the things that you know, I don't really give a shit back. It's yeah, but you let other people down. Like you let yourself and something that work really hard for you in the air. Get your lovely jobs and then you're like, Oh no I'm being a PR nightmare type and then it's like there's me su likecking on a like a mo ld of red with my tit out. It's like and they're like, Oh, you know what? Why do we fucking bother? Why are we all working so much? Why are we trying to build our smogul? No, but that's like being a bit my audience has stayed with me 'cause I've never intended to be like I work really hard. I will have them all read on Friday. And you deserve it. I also think like there is something to be said for people so often say to me and it sounds so prickish to say but people are like, Oh, do you get hate on social media? Like how is that? And I'm like, I actually don't. I don't like and I always felt lucky to say that me . Some people are really and I know that like the internet is the most horrible unforgiving place sometimes ever, but I think as you said, if you just move authentically as yourself, like anything bad you could say about me, I've definitely already said it about myself. So it kind of the audience that you build are just really with you. And I also think in this, and you're a prime example of this, you got to be really careful what pedestal you put yourself up on because they just want to fucking kick that fit down and that's not saying don't stand for things, don't have your values, but I think that people so easily fall into a trap of being pretentious online . Not having to self awareness of like life outside of that app . And then that's when you can get you. Yeah. Because if you go, I'd never do X, Y, Z, well, as soon as you do X, Y, Z, they are coming pitchforks. But also, I think you're so similar, like we're really similar in the sense that our whole thing is self deprecation. That's like , I'm always very laugh at myself. Totally. But I also I kind of hate that I think Brits are really unforgiving with that. Unless you're basically like absolutely kicking yourself into the ground a bit and I think she's all that. Like I'm talking like taking yourself through the billboard you're on and going look this ugly prick. That's how you you have have to, you have to. Like you'll do something of this big achievement, exactly that. And I'll go, ha , I'm a boogie whale in this . And it's sometimes the only way to be like , I swear, I'm not pretentious I don't think I'm amazing and you know what I mean? A hundred percent I only realized the last comments how bad it is here when I've all worked in the US and you've got to say that. And I've got American PR who worked with an English P R office and even talking to the girls, the American girls who have worked at American PR their whole lives who then tagged in my press clippings from the UK . Even their press doesn't write about people the way we did that doesn't it's a very build up culture if they don't do these snipy mean articles like they're like reading some stuff and they're like whoa like it is savage over there and I'm like yeah but you've not seen nothing yet like also I think yeah it's, very we like to we like execution . Yeah . Tear people. I also think it gives us a certain type of resilience, like it does, but it does. I also think coming from the space that we've come from, anywhere that's reality or social media or anything like that . People just love to not and I get it like some people in this sphere are dicked. That is fair. But people really like to just be like, I'm not giving you your flowers. And I wish that America was we were a bit more like America Half My house in not in politics . In not yeah, in some ways. They're just building people up and being like, yeah, you wanna do that girl, go for it. one hundred percent. And then like they are happy to also promote themselves, like when I was going to events and I just did my best nightmare. I know 'cause it's an English thing. It's English and it's a female thing 'cause one woman at Bad promoting themselves and then it's like a double layer being English. You meet people from the states and you were like, Oh hi, what do you do? And they're like, Hey, so I'm Marlie and I was a model. And I was asked, I won this and I was on the fabric. And they were like, What do you do? And I'd be like, bitters. Yes, bitter. Yeah. And then my PR was like, fucking Yeah, I don't know. My TV. 'Cause that's what they do. And we just don't. Circus. And I'm like, I'm thinking I've done ventriloquism yeah , just overhood circus totally Yeah, it's a it's a very like I remember the first time I went to LA they're in another league of their own West Coast totally. As in like, yeah, there is something to be said for that. But I remember that talking to this girl at the bar and she was like, Hello, and head director of drinks. No, head director of Beverages . And I went , Tee , she was the bartender. That's fine. But she went it. She just gave it a she said, I am not happy with bartender. No, I'm head of Beverage. I am the director of Beveridge. Beverage. Good for you. Yeah, we could learn something from that. She was begging herself up and I was like, That's so nice to be able to do that because we're always just like, Oh no, or no, I could have literally won like an NTA and I'd be like, Oh, I'm trying , Telly? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like that's how I would instead I'm like giving it a go. I'm having a go. I'm crap, it's crap. Like I'm like oh I've ever seen my shows they're crap. I watch them. Yeah , that's the literally have a dinner party It's exactly what I do and it's like, Oh what would you do on a vlog story? Ask the next person. Like because I just don't know it's so hard to do. I wish I wish that the internet and just every one in general was a little bit more forgiving of us just wanting to build ourselves up a little bit more. Within reason, obviously , yeah, you make such a valid point . Right. Your TikToks, one of the things that blew you up was your random take on things, which are just so brilliant. So when I play this game, if I give you some just random things okay, I just want your hot tag. Okay, okay so , hate, whatever. Laboo boobs. Disgusting, burn them all . That is hideous. And who made them call? I don't understand you live. We're having a chat after this. But what but what purpose do they serve to me? Just I loved all their teeth and their little hands and covered gremlins. What's not to love? To me and I see them, I had a nightmare once. They see there was an uprising of them. And they all're like I've got, one of the massive ones like that in a box. It's oh my god. Live what? Do you not find them a bit scary? No, you love them. I've had to take a break from them. They're all in a box. Like I just it came to a point where they would dominating too much of my life and my becoming great space. Yeah, and it became like it was like the booboos and then me. I need to see main story again. So I just had to am I without my Lab . I was like , they are the add on to me ran, but yeah, I do like I need to remember who Liv was before my booboo crap. Okay. Like I've been to New York maybe like literally fifteen times in my life and every time I leave then I love New York T shirt and a pencil. Like I just love like I love stuff but I quite like that I quite like that kind of you know like when things are really do you like to go back I love rubbish. I love I love something . I love Gladish shopping for something I don't need. Yes. So that is my favorite purchase. I think the greatest joy of Tico Bax is you never go in, you have no idea what you do. You don't need anything before you get in there. And all of a sudden a variety of hair appliance, two pairs of shoes and a platter to serve some sharp trees on. And some of those microblading things that are blunt that you get when a checkout, you're gonna shave your head and you're gonna cut your face with Don't use those legal reasons do not use those. Men who love bomb . Me, love . Love it. I love laughing. Yeah , I which is really funny because every relationship that I had cream my partner now I was love bombed and it was horrendous . I've seen Homeous 'cause they love bomb and then they change gear and you're like oh they all hated me. They all wanted me dead , but they all said that I was the best thing since Lives Bred, and I was like, I couldn't agree with you. You were eating it up. They're so nice. But they were all chatting rubbish. Yeah, but I really love love . Yeah, I my friends have had to sit me down for many years. Do you like it? I love it. Yeah. Like if I meet someone once and next time I meet them, they've got my name tattooed in their neck, I'm like obsessed. But also my hands are like this. This is a red flag you should be, scared, but I like it. Yeah. But I know it's wrong. I also think like statistically for every love bomber that doesn't mean it, one will mean it. That's so true. Did girl mess All you have to do is get traumatized nine times. Yes. One of them will actually love you. You hold in there . I've got this . Type B personalities . Love win win win win win. Because I'm a bit of a unicorn in the sense that I'm a type A DHD . Okay you charging your phone in your car , I know is insane. Would you go to the airport and not checked in for your flight? I never checked in for flights. Oh my God, we're sick. Ever. If I didn't know where I was sitting forty hours before I left the country, I'd have panic attack. Like really yeah , did not expect that 's really really surprised me. My chargers are in a box and the cords have little Velcro things round so they're not really you would you'd hate trouble with me. My sister's type B , her when she the other day we were traveling Scottish open her suitcase and she asked me to chuck us some clean knickers when I pulled out three dirty pairs I swear certainly bit me off my hand in the suit case . I honestly it was crawling rodent. And then my suitcase, we're arguing it's like in pouches, the days are numbered. I'm so shocked that is not at all what I thought. Can you believe that? I'm like that? really I' surmprised Grace. That's really that you would hate to travel with me so I have a lot is weird. A lot of my friends are like you. Yeah. So I think those kind of people I just kind of live like that because not for me everything in there . As in I will get to get on the plane , phones not charged, no power bank and so like I've had to just roar dog a flight before I've just looked out the window . As in I've just gone long and hours . And I just thought, well, it's gonna we're all gained from A to B . You're just having a slightly nicer time doing it. He's fine. No. He's bad in it. I know Jack that time when I did that, Jack was like, Why are you just looking around? What else are you meant to do? What else am I meant to do? I was taking in the sights and the scenery. I did nothing else of clouds. In it, I had about nine baggers of nuts . Spring glasses . Hate . Oh my god I'm not for barbing. Why am I gyrating on this bicycle and not getting anywhere? Hate it . And I love fitness. Yeah. I'm a big fitness girl, but I just can't get behind spin. I don't know what I'm doing. I've tried to make myself like it. When it first popped off years ago, I remember I went to a few class and wanted to be a finger Finger . But in your little fitness head back just in the leg . Yeah, and it was the seat hurts my butt. Why are they so rock hard? No, they are literally made up of concrete. It's like they wanted to be in pain. Totally that's what I think. Just humiliation ritual again . Yeah. Holiday romances . Oh, one hundred percent, ten out of ten any day. It's amazing. There's nothing better is there? Yeah, the bars in hell on holidays. So like you'll be like, This is the love of my life and that man is gone when you get home. But can we want to buy interpol don't care? Exactly. Chasing the night . Oh, one hundred percent. I chase the fucking legs off in it. Yes. All the time . You know what? You are right. I chase it like a dog on here. I do believe that good things happen after two AM, but there are those nights when I wake up and I'll turn to my friend and I'll be like, I should have wound that in a couple night hours earlier. I'll tell you the only time I say that is when I've chased the night with people that I don't rate. Yeah . And you're like, why have I If I've chased the night with my mate and you've laughed all that way and we've and I think I've just loved that I've spent all that time with you yes. We went to every bar and it was shit and like nothing quite panned out the way we wanted it to, but I've done it all with people I like. Yes , fine . If I've chased the night with weirdos, which I have done before , hate . But also that you know I was talking about chasing the night. I think people think of chasing the night as in like you're trying to make it fun . To me chasing the night is, I'm having so much fun. I don't use it . I refuse. I will go from a gay bar to a strip club to a brothel if I have totally pay a girl to chat because I don't want to chill out. I will go and go and go as in like we're just prolonging fun. People are like oh you're doing your check you're trying to make something that's shit but it's like I,'m good times. Yeah, we're just trying to keep it going. I just want to have that clean girl aesthetic . You look like clean girl today. Like praying, yeah I don't actually want to say I hate this . I hate parts of clean gaesthetic but there are parts of it that I'm like if that's your bag then like good for you but I do like that. I'm not seeing like 'cause I feel like I never gave up on it so I'm glad it's coming back in fashion. When I see like two thousand era party girl sheets coming back, I'm like, yes, let's put the makeup on like let's get the hair blown out. Like I don't want to see anymore of it slip back so like let's not judge what anyone's doing. If your bag is, you know what people are like, I just like a Lickam Scar. Amazing. I'm going to be coming to the venue in drag. Do you know what I mean? And that's also fine. Yes. So like, let me do that. And you can come in your slip back band. That's fine. Absolutely fine. Yeah. Traction of Piccia, though. They have to be aware. Yes, you're right. I got told to stop putting mine in those touches . Oh my god, the way I have sending buns out of my head when I have to drink we have little ball patches I know it is packed. It's those bungies. Yes, they'll get you when you are drunk. They will get you. Yeah, we're taking them out and you get in and you pull half of your bed when it comes all I want is it out. Like I can't everyone's like just sleeping I could never Yeah it has to come out. Yeah, I agree . I don't want this to end but I've had so good desperation from the production that it has to end. That's why we need to go out. Okay, so we're gonna go out. I'll report back and silo out what goes down. You need to tell me a day where you're bloody free . Yeah. Well, nights are good for me. I 'm really good. Okay. Days are normally problem. Night s are fine. And I'll just do it. I'll just roll roll again. Yeah. I'm sorry, whoever has got me but the next day I've been out of fashion Are we coming straight? We actually really overdue. No, we have to do it. Yeah, we were gonna put it in. Before you go , I want to know who you think needs a membership to Olivia's house, who should be in the club in the hot seat, who I haven't had that you think. Katie Price on this hot seat. I haven't had her in here. Should I have her in? I think there's so much to achieve with her right now. So true. I had her on my old pod. I have not had her in here. I think I need to see her in here. I think you do. And the thing is she's also lived so many lives even since then. There's so much talk. I think she's there's so much to talk from week to week, you never know . So I think I think she needs to be here. And the last time I only got her half an epic because the firearm went off. We all got evacuated from the building and she left and didn't come back see. So it was half an ep. It was a cold end. I just come back on You ended. What is the high guy? After all, we can go back in. She was like, I've got to go, I'm late for something else. And I was like, But we've not she's gone. A business ? If anyone else did that to me, I'd beat up the wall. I was like, You know what? I was like, Yes, she asked, she wants to go. She goes. You're all right. She's looking for a husband . That is really funny. Your husband is Can who will we banning ? JK Rowling . Just so fair. She's not for the great community. We can't have her on this seat. I don't think we'd vibe. No. What are we gonna talk about? Exactly. She's only got one thing on her mind. And that's Harry Potter, Babe. Do what I mean? We can't, we can't . She's banned. Yeah. Before you go, can we tell other people? Yeah, what's in the pipeline? Okay . So not just off the table right, ventriloquism definitely will be happening. Okay , head on Fun, whimsy, myself and Jack. We have our podcast , which we are hoping to do a live tour situation to show whatever that may transpire to that. So basically I'm coming to that. I'm going to that then we go out after. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Ah, Ash for the best have you. I love you. Lucky hands because I mean I'm glad you liked. Hey, it's because I've got twenty five minute lights on my set. Guys, if you enjoyed this, make sure you like, subscribe, comment and I'll see you next time. Thanks for having me Don. , worry This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set requiredup compatibility and availab ility varies eighteen plus . Your call has been forwarded to voicemail . Hi, this is Zoe Deutsche. I'm Nick Robinson. 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