Rants and Final Thoughts

But you topless waiters. Oh waiter. Some of these women are feral. Feral is like an understatement. One woman bit my ass as hard as she could. My bare ass. Yeah. Just chewing on your ass chees. Absolutely terrifying, bro. I like when you read out stuff from Twitter. I was with an ex. Someone came up to me and said, oh bro, I love your podcast. Especially that part about reasons why you hate your girlfriend. I walked out the list, she said, what the f<unk> is he talking about? Oh my god. I never told you this. No, you never. I was like, it was it's just tweets. It's mames it's just tweets. I saw a m meme the other day was like, if you're having a bad day, just think there's some do getting excited to go to work to hang out with your girl. I don't think you understand the what's what I've done to my mentor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a hall of famer. Bro, when I was working in the office, this f<unk> cool to do. Yeah. This is gal . Yeah, bro. Your gym guys, right? Your gym guys, right? Just to clarify, before I overstep , you do lift a few weights. You are. Yeah, but my eyes are my eyes. Facts. Hi dolls, welcome back to Olivia's house. Today is a big day in my house. I am officially joined by my first. Are you guys you're my first straight male guests. Is that true? That's true. Out of how many how many how many are we talking? We've got a few, we've got a lot of guests. I've had no dudes. But let me introduce you. It is one of the biggest podcasts in the country, you will know their voices, you'll know their faces. It is James and Foo had of shits and gigs. Thank you so much. Do you know I wanted some straight dudes in the house. Right. Okay, do you know what actually caveat that? We had Jobie Lang and Sophie last week. Yeah. That's a nice transition into we did send a lot of time discussing whether they're in a lavender marriage. So this feels like I'm in a I'm a properly committed to like boysys. Like gu, guys are in the house. Nice guys. Okay, guys are the guys in the house. Yeah, straight dudes. Dudes. Dudes, yeah. Man stuff. Okay, before we get into the pod, we have this little um tradition in my house where we leave something at the door. So something that you're over, something that's getting on your nerves, it can be a trend, it can be a person. Foo had coming to you. What you're leaving at the door? Um, so what I'm leaving at the door is something I've actually been practic ing for the last two weeks, is uh my lack of discipline. Oh. Yeah. So I have why is that funny? So two weeks is such a spirit. It's very serious. Okay. But that's good. It's a good thing. No, it's a great thing. I'm sorry I laughed. It's great though. Yeah, so my lack of discipline. Uh there are a lot of times I'm I'm a very procrastinated type of person. Really? Very. So for the last two or three weeks I've just been saying to myself, just do it, just do it, just do it. Yes. And I'm intrinsically like ticking off a check list in my head every day and it makes me feel good. Okay, that's actually that's kind of like real talk and we both laugh at you, which I now feel shit for. Yeah. You should. How does it manifest itself? Is it like you know you need to do something and you just keep pushing it together? Yeah, I' morem of like a deadline per because I have ADHD so it's deadline thing for me. Yeah, if I don't necessarily have a deadline I feel like, oh I can push it back as long as I could and then yeah, I start to rush things. So until like you're about to almost get yourself in trouble, you just keep ignoring it. Delaying, delaying. What you like in the morning? Um I need structure in the morning. So once I get up, shower, eat, especially if you've got work that day. I think my best days are my structured days when I've got work. When I don't have work, I'm like a bit all laissez-faire. I go to the gym and when I come home I'm like, what do I do now? Yeah, now what? James, what are we doing at the door? Oh, um, oh you know what? Well, I'm actually I said this earlier. I've said it a lot of times. I don't think I'm gonna drink anymore.. Fuck Yeah, I'm over it. Wait, you're smiling, you're being serious. I mean too serious. You're saying that because of yesterday. Yeah. Wait, we were just yesterday. Uh so we do we were shooting a video yesterday and then the team decided it should be like a uh it was like a quiz episode and then the team decided it should be like drinking game based. And then we argued against it for ages. For like days. Yeah. And then we got um finessed into to do doing in it. And today I just wanna die. I don't want I'd like you you don't like the way you feel. I hate it. Yeah and then all of last night was a struggle. Yeah. I went to cinema and I was drinking the day and daytime. Drinking in the day and then going outside to sun is the worst thing. Like humanly possible. Like, I'm weight during surgery. Horrendous. It's the worst thing. And also you either have to think carry on then. Did you just did you stop drinking then? Oh God. Yeah. And then I tried to have have like a normal evening. Oh, that's horrible. And it was just a nightmare. I even like I cooked dinner and everything. Oh no. No, no. It was disgusting. Sorry, bro. I don't want to do it. So that's it. I'm leaving out the door. Okay. Chilly. Just like laughing. I don't think you're not. I will drink I will drink to get rid of social anxiety and once once that's over, I'm I'm done. He's gonna leave the door ajar. He's not gonna go. It's one foot one foot in the door. Do you get anxiety? Do you? Yeah, only social anxiety though. Like with busy pe like busy places. Oh you get social anxiety, not like hangxieties in the next day. Oh hangs. Yeah, like the hangover anxiety. No. I didn't pull you off on it. I thought it was like a nasal thing. Yes, I fucking do get hangs out. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yes, I do. So you get the fear. Like I wouldn't imagine you to be that kind of guy. Um like is it like you replay what you could have done or said, like what nah it's not even about like anything . Ah, is it? I'm trying to think of the last time I had it. I just like I I just like wake up riddled with anxiety. And then my brain will just pick and choose what we're anxious about. Because there's nothing to be anxious about. So you're just making up the thing. It could be anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um and it that lasts to be fair, it's actually not even the hangover day. It's the day after the hangover day. Yeah. So if I went out on a Saturday, when I used to work, bro, oh my God, I'd go out on a Saturday and then Sunday right off. And then Monday I'd go into work just like that's really weird 'cause actually mine gets me the second day as well. Really? Yeah. I think this the it depends how hard you go, but sometimes the next day you're almost a bit drunk still. Oh yeah. Do you know what I mean? So you wake up and you're laughing, everything's funny, and then they say isn't it yeah, and you're like, oh my god, and then they say Monday, nothing's funny. Nothing, nothing is funny. Yeah, literally it's funny. Especially when you've got like an HR situation on your hands. You're like, oh god. Shit. Okay, actually it segues us quite nicely drinking into how you guys met. Oh, yes. Uni. Yes. Sure there were some bev s being drunk in the uni days. Not as much as normal uni people do. Oh really? A lot on different occasions. I wouldn't say throughout uni we drank, drank, drank, drank, drank, but there were times where specific times where we drank. Yeah, for sure. You went to uni and coventry. We did. We did. Big fan of the city. It's what top three worst cities in the UK? Sight like that. Yeah, yeah. It is though. That's fine. It's literally just a uni city. I've got friends in Convent Street. I think they own it. They're like, yeah, it's got no choice though. They're from there. Yeah, you have no choice. The locals really do appreciate it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that statue called? God iva . Good memory. Godiva, they run for that. Yeah. How do you like how did you end up with Coventry? How was that your standard? Yeah. Failed or exactly failed everything. Um this is Coventry is the only one that'll take me. Um and yeah I was depressed for ages, couldn't get couldn't get normal accommodation, had to dip off tomorrow. He was in a prison versus. Wait, wait, what like the dump. I was in a reconverted prison. No, mental hospital. Mental hospital. Thank you for the correction. My the cover of like the door of my wardrobe was a curtain. Yeah. Or like was the education worth it? No. I didn't. Well I did fuck all. I'd shared bathroom. No sort of. Yeah, in a flat of like five. You had a shared bathroom. You were in the trenches. I was really re that was the real clearing. That was real commentary clearing. Yeah, I was I can't believe they put you in there. I can't believe they put you in there. Put me in there. That's disrespectful. It was disrespectful. What were you studying? Sports and exercise science. Okay. And what about you, Joe? Same. Same. So you met at uni . Mm-hmm. Yeah. Day one. What were the first impressions? Was it a meet cute? Were you like stepbrothers? Um Yeah, kind of. So basically, I was late to our first lecture and then I walked in and then I was scanning the room of who I could make friends with because I was all by myself. And then Fu had and our other friend, Aaron, were the only two black guys in the class. So I was like, boom, easy. Um and then I waited until because they would have given us like a tour of campus. Think so, something like that, yeah. So I waited until we left the lecture hall and I heard these guys talking to each other about like basketball and I was like, oh I like basketball guys. And they were like, okay. And then I just I just I just made a mental commitment to just like force my way into being their friend. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm we shocked. Yeah, I know. I remember it in 4K . We have this c we have this conversation every time we do another podcast with someone to know about our journey and stuff. And I was like, I genuinely don't remember. That's her. Yeah. So I understand I understand that her. It'd almost be better if you were like, I just thought it was a bit of a loser. It's actually worse. He doesn't remember. It's worse that I was I was yeah, yeah. I was invisible to you. I just I don't remember that specific moment now. Can I just say though, this is an ADHD thing? Do you have a lot of gaps in your memory from growing up? Because I do. I have blind s of the game. He knows I do. Can I ask a favor? He knows I do. Do not say this is an ADHD thing. That's an ADHD thing. He's on like a very serious ADHD journey. And the more ammunition you give him, he's gonna start It is though. But I I can't remember like the short term's fine, but my like big chunks of my childhood are gone. Like I don't know what I was doing between the ages of like twelve and eighteen. Thank you. That could have been anywh ere. Like, yeah. This is the worst thing you could have said to everybody. I'm I feel like I might do it more for the podcast. It's a really and it is a really bad habit, isn't it, guys? I I don't excuse bad behaviour for AGHG, but it's a bit of an explanation sometimes. I understand. Impulsivity, bad memory. I wanna say I'm impulsive though. Oh, you not? Do you I think I've got only impulsive behaviors when it comes to like wanting to buy something, as opposed to any other thing. It's that dopamine rush. Yes, maybe that. Yeah. Yeah. It's that that thrill buying something. You guys did some jobs together over the years. Well, go on. Go on. Were you topless waiters? No damn good research. Yeah, good research indeed. Come on. Wow. Uh yeah, so we um we were topless butlers specifically. Okay. But lers in the buff, yeah. Yeah, bro. Yeah, I've been at a party with a butler in the buff. Yeah. Rough. Um so we Rough for like you guys. These women are feral. Yeah, they're they're they're on stuff. I swear to God, you have no idea. They're on stuff. Feral is like an understatement. It was it was morbid. So we were only like nineteen. 19, yeah. We were very young. You were fresh mate. Fresh. God, yeah. Yeah, fresh, fresh. No facial hair, nothing. Nothing. It was disgraceful. Yeah. Nothing. And then um, so we applied because do you know oh my god, do you actually want to know how it got happened? Me and other this we were so poor. Like so poor. I was on currently on a journey where I was eating chicken pasta every day, multiple times a day for for we months, I think. Um I couldn't afford our gym membership, I couldn't afford anything. And then we had one of our friends, Aaron again, he asked like we had a conversation one night where it was like, What would you actually do for X amount of money? Yeah. And then I would be like, I'd I'd do anything. Yeah. I'd be like . And then he was like, Oh, would you like would you prostitute yourself? And I was like, Yeah, 100%.. Yeah. Yeah, I actually would Like I'm no questions to you. No questions . I'm starving. Like I'm not sure. I can't afford anything. That sounds like a really, really easy choice to make. And he was like, oh, shall we look? And I was like, fair, let's look. So we spent the afternoon uh l researching male prostitute services. No, I'm death. This is disgraceful, isn't it? This is absolute disgraceful. When you recant it, but yeah. At the time it really seemed fine. It made sense. Yeah, I was willing to sell. Can we swear on here by the way? Yes. I was willing to sell dick. And um we found a website. I remember what it's called Cavendish Nights. Wow. Not nights as in evenings, nights as in night. You're like going, mmm, what the fuck you talking about? I w to be fair, I I know this story, but I wasn't there with this . For the research. And we tried to sign up to Cavendish Nights. Uh because it was like a gigolo serv ice. Okay. And then through the application they said there's a hundred pound sign up fee. So we're like, okay, well we can't even. You can't even sign up. I can't even sell my body. I actually can't afford to sell my body. This is some this is this is the lowest of the low. Yeah, this is dark times. This is dark times. So we gave up on that. And then the next option on that same page was butlers in the buff. And then I was like, fair. And they were like, oh, we'll pay you like £50 an hour or something like that. Um and I was like, yeah, so I set up a Zoom with a really like creepy dude where I had to get like my kit off and stuff. And he had to give him a free sixty. He had to give him a free sixty. And then he sent me my apron and Dicky Bo and that was the end of it. And then I referred Fuhrer. And then so you'd like rock up to dinner parties, house parties, you kind of you have like obviously like butlering, but then you kind of it's kind of like a free-for-all, isn't it? There's no real rules, are there? Yeah, there's no rules. Yeah, they were they were women like have you ever been like generally terrified of a woman One woman bit my ass as hard as she could. My bare ass. Yeah, that I don't think you understand. I don't understand what I would have done to me. I jumped. I was chopping satin, bro, and I felt the most searing pain in my ass. And then I turn around and it's a woman in her forties on her hands and knees. Just chewing on your arms. Chewing on my arms. Absolutely terrifying, bro. It was terrifying. It's traumatic. And at the time I'm thinking, you're like my mum's age. Yeah, bro. Like, what are we doing? What are we doing? But yeah, that was that. I um I did this documentary getting filthy rich about like the OnlyFans World and all this stuff and I spent a night with the they're not uh Thunder Down Under. What's the boy is it is Thunder Down down Under under the the it's like the Magic mic bit in the UK. Dream Boys? Dream Boys. And he said that he went into the crowd they were they go into the crowd at the end of these like gigs and he said one night he came back out, he said he looked like he'd been attacked by cats. He said he was just bleeding. He's like like, they scratchy, like literally he's like he is in the middle, and that they're like literally clawing chunks out of it. He came back staging. Oh and also I know how crazy weak girls can get. Like it's sterile for real. It's crazy. Yeah. He said he came back up and all the other boys were like, fuck. Like you're bleeding everywhere. He must have been jacked. Oh yeah yeah yeah Jack. Oh no that's that's scary. Did you ever meet any nice girls? Like did you ever like go turn up to job and think, okay, she's actually alright? Uh pretty you mean? Yeah, like There was a couple pretty ones for sure, but I think the maj nine again, nineteen. I don't have any confidence in the slightest. I'm half naked. I have social anxiety. I'm they're on my own as well. So I'm not necessarily brave enough to be like, Oh, she's not anything. Oh wait, so you wouldn't be together. We did two shifts together. So you might go by yourself. Yeah, one of them I did for free. Because I was too scared to go by myself. And that was when I was I had already been fired. You had? I'd been they turfed me. Yeah, you've been safe. They turf me. Why? I did a job in Rickmansworth, fucking shit all over the place. And it was cold as fuck that day. Cold as fuck. Yeah. These women rented out an event space. There was a There was about 15 of them there. It was the coldest night of my life. I had to run to the bathroom like every 30 to like put the head, the dryer on to just rub myself down to get some warmth. And yeah, man. They complained about me. I was like, What do you expect me to do, bro? It was a it was the worst night of my life. Then they saxed me. Then he had a job in, I think it was like Derby or something. I pulled up with him and he was like, Yeah man, we had a job. Yeah, I just told him uh my colleague had a job down the road. Yeah. Like an hour ago. You just wanted like some like I needed a company, yeah. And it was uh it would have been easy and fun, you know. Yeah that was good. Yeah this episode is brought to you by Diet Coke. Okay, stop what you're doing. It's time for a Diet Coke break. So my ideal situation would be: I'm in the park, I've got the dogs, got a cold can of Diet Coke in my handbag, crack it open , sit on a bench, have a little social media scroll, and then I just feel recharged to basically attack the rest of my day. Because it can't all be about the hustle, can it? We all need a break sometimes. And that's why diet coke is teaming up with the Devil Wears Prada 2, one of the most anticipated movies of the year. They're giving you a chance to win the break everybody wants. A trip to New York. All you have to do is scan the QR code on your Diet Coke and upload your receipt for a chance to win. Plus, there are hundreds of daily prizes including cinema tickets, an exclusive Diet Coke, and the Devil Wears Prada 2 merch up for grabs. So scan the QR code on your Diet Coke for a chance to win the break everybody wants. Cheese and C's apply. See Coke.co.uk You did some other jobs, corporate jobs, bit of office work ? Yeah, so I I was in and out of office work. I was like a PT for most of my like normal job life. And then I did like what three years? When did you guys come up with the idea to start the pod? When did that conversation start? Where you were like we could make content here? It started when I w used to live in Manchester in 2017 . No. I moved to Manchester in 2017. The conversation didn't happen in 2017. It happened in 2019. James used to come up to Manchester to visit me. We'd go out on the weekend, reminisce about like uni time times and we spent together for X amount of years. And he said, bro, I think we should just get a camera, get some lights , just do what we're doing now, but with the camera on, and we'll see where it takes us. And I was like, nah, bro I'm I'm I'm really not on it and back then even till now I'm not really I don't listen to podcasts I just happen to be in this industry I don't care about the so interesting so it wasn't so then you weren't like a podcast fan no that's so you got it more, you're like this potential here. Like people are making money doing this, and you were a bit like skeptical. I was more so skeptical, not necessarily about the money aspect or any of that, more so about people knowing like the real me online type shit. That's the only thing I was like skeptical about. And when I was working in hospitality back then I was like I'm it's not like I'm not my full self, but I'm also like professionals professionally a certain type of way. Yeah. So for people to view me in another layer be like, these guys gonna listen to it and then see me tomorrow at work. Yeah. I'm like, oh I don't know about this. But eventually I said yes and it was fine. And clearly, yeah, we're here today. So it it kind of worked out. I mean it works out big time. I mean you guys are like international. You've been on tour like all around the world. Yeah. You're like you six years in now? Yeah. Six years. Yeah. And your audience is like is cold. I mean your your following online is like is fucking impressive. Did you ever think you would be like where you are now? No . Frustratingly enough, actually, the part of my pitch as to why podcasting was so cool was because six years ago it wasn't really like a mainstream. Yeah, you were kind of like you were kind of early at the gate, I think, in that space. It didn't feel like it at the time. Yeah, because it was popping, but it wasn't like at all It wasn't like TikTok stuff wasn't a thing and like all that kind of stuff. So like at the time, I remember saying to Feel like it is the perfect job because you get paid to hang out with your friend, have a conversation, and also you make loads of money, but you're only famous to like these very small niche of people that listen to you. And also most of it's audio anyway, so people don't even know what you look like. So you're just like famous but not famous and you're just like it's the best life. That is not the case anymore. No. So yeah. It has changed now. As time gone has gone on, you still oversh overshare and you still talk there's nothing off the table, but do do you think a little bit is there a bit more psych censorship that comes in? Of course there's there's a little bit more. The element of growth, like God, it's like so it's so easy to fucking piss people off now and upset them. Yeah, I think the thing that like all we can do is like try and just be more empathetic towards kind of just like, well, first of all, you just learn as you get older. Yeah. And then like I feel like doing this job, you learn like hyper fast because you're just flooded with everyone's opinions of what you said like all the time. So your rate of learning is just like super fast. So it is like in the scheme of like your lifetime, the last six years is like not really that different. And from like twenty-eight to thirty-five or whatever now, it's like okay, you were kind of just like a grown-up anyway. But like having that kind of constant exposure of like this is what you said and how it made me feel, and blah blah blah. And you have to blank out most of it all the time. But at the same time, you're like, oh, I understand, I get your point, and that makes sense. And then I think over the time we've just become more empathetic towards like not being so for one, not just being so flippant with shit because you think it's funny. Yes. Um and I should be like, people will listen to this. Yeah. And also on top of that as well, is over the years, they shouldn't be, but the amount of times I've been stopped by like an 11 year old being like, oh, I love your stuff. And I'm like, You shouldn't be listening to it. I get that as well. Like my shows are not for kids and people suddenly like, oh my daughter loves your show. And then the daughter's like, she's like eight. And I'm like, she shouldn't be fucking watching anything I'm making.. Yeah Yeah, it's not, it's scary, isn't it? So there's a lot of that now. Where we're like, okay, there's actually like people's kids watching this. Like we should just like grow up a bit. But we try and And also like you your your audience, do you f is it male, heavily male? But I mean it's or is it not? It's heavily female. It's really it's um it's balanced a little bit more now, but um we first in the beginning was it very like the lads? No, it's never females. Well in the beginning it was like seventy, thirty, then it's slowly gone down to like sixty fifty-five at the minute. Yeah. Because I was thinking like, do you guys feel like you have you have a dial-in with like young men where you can make like positive impact on them? Like we can have like have a laugh and like you know everything's up for like discussion but there's so many shitty influences on the internet a big part of it is that we have a very I didn't think it was unique at the time but our friendship, our friendship and our also our friendship group, we realize kind of like retroactively isn't the norm. Yeah. And we don't really shit on each other very much. Yeah. And we don't like I we have like other friends outside the circle that are really gatekeepy about kind of their personal life and all this kind of stuff and like Fu had shared like insanely deep shit with me. And there's like never any judgment in our and vice versa. Um there's never any judgment in our friendship group. And we realized since doing this show that a lot of people are like, wow, this is so refreshing yeah where to us we're like this is just how we just like how we fought friends yeah yeah I think a big part of the kind of like heavy female audience is because they um even though this is the first time you've had straight guys on, they kind of ship us a little bit. And but you're they like yeah, they like love you guys. Your friendship is stuff. But also relationship is like very yeah . I love like I'm fascinated by like inside straight men's minds like you know like I'm hearing the boy chat like I'm like oh this is interesting that this is what you actually think I was like okay noted I was like but no you step sharing I have ex-partners and it's like I know that they couldn't even tell you when their like mate's birthday is or like you know, like or if something bad happens in their life. Yeah, they're like very like they're best friends for 10 years, but they actually know nothing about each other. Do you know what I mean? It's quite common. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah. Be becausecause then then dudes like just don't have an outlet at all. Yeah, to anyone to talk to or confide in. Yeah, like all of the bad things in my life are have been like mitigated so much because I always have like these guys where immediately as soon as something like bad happens, I'm like, you man will never guess what just happened to me. Whereas I know so many guys that will just like bury it, bury it, bury it, bury it. Scary. And then um I might hear about it like seven years later. I'm like, dude, it's dark. I was here. Yeah, you dealt with it by yourself Oh. yeah, my whole family died, but it's no big deal. Who should have spoken to someone about that? Like maybe you should have shared that with someone. Your fan, like fandom is pretty extensive now. Um like and they're like they're passionate. They are passionate is a great word to use, yeah. Passionate. Okay, that's what we're crazy. Yeah, let's say passionate. You've been you toured in Australia, South Africa, America. Correct. Like how do the audiences differ and the way they receive you? America was something else uh honest to god something else they love hard they do they it's on their chest isn't it they really appreciate us and people coming over to their side of the world and just showing out, you know. When we were doing our like meet and greets and stuff, I remember there were girls with like nails with our faces on it, merch that we've never made that they've made themselves. Homemade merch. They're big on the homemade merch. Big on a homemade merch. Posters like it was a concert. It's like wow, you all ride or dies, bro. Yeah, tattoos. Is that tattoos? Yeah, we'd sign like a body part and be like, we're gonna I'm gonna get this tattooed. And then they'll show us the evidence. It happened in Australia as well. Yeah, it did happen in Australia as well. That's serious, like influence. Does that ever do you ever step back and you're a bit like woo like it's very surreal for me? Yeah. Yeah. Very surreal. Because every time I come to the studio to record, I was like, I'm these are just my people, these are my boys, my friends. Yeah. And I'm like, well, people view us in like a way that I have never thought people would view me ever in my life. So it's like, oh, it's a bit much. It's a bit much. D do you have like a like a like a discomfort level with it a little bit more than James? Um not necessarily I feel like over the time I've gotten used to what my life is. So over the time it's just it's been what it is. Like I'm not really. I still do do get social anxiety and stuff, but I feel like I've acclimatiz medyself to just get on with it. Especially the area I live in. I just go to certain places that I need to go to, whether it be my food shop, whether it be my gym or this or that. I'm just like doing the stuff I need to because I'm a human being. I need to do what I need to do, you know? So ultimately I just get comfortable being uncomfortable and then I just crack on. Yeah. When you're when you like dipped into the world like live events, what was that first one like? Oh my god, dog shit on. Yeah, yeah. My hand was shaking to drink a shot. That's how dog shit I felt. The show wasn't . Like I I felt like dog shit. Yeah, because I was so scared. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because I'm going from the comfort, like your studio with your mates and then your ear like that's you know it's a huge gear shift it is a gear shift and what's funny enough is obviously our first show was like 300 people yep i what's scary is now is that that if we did a show tomorrow for 300 people that would probably be the scariest I'd feel. L theike the smaller, more intimate the show, the more scary is it. Interesting. Um like they're locked in on you. See everyone's face, all this kind of stuff. And like, oh just thinking about now I'm stressed. It's a lot. Yeah. The bigger shows are way easier to get through. You did the O2, didn't you? You did do the O2. What the f what was that like? It was insane because at the time we had just wrapped up uh our log cabin tour, which was in 2023. We did six shows and um we got told, oh you can probably do the O2, you know, we're like you're chatting shit. Let's not even 'cause it just sounds insane. It sounds crazy. Like why are we talking about stupid stuff like that? Um it turned out to be our 11th show that we've ever done and we realized like in terms of making sure the audience are fully engaged, we had to make sure that our production was so f much more better than what it was in the past. And we had this conversation with um Sam and Pete the other day. Yeah, because they did the other. They said how doing the Yo two, because of all like the razzle dazzle of the production, you really lose the element of just being on stage with your boy. Like it it really really, feels like work. And I didn't really think about it until they said I was like, oh wow, that's very, very true. I don't I didn't feel that is actually true. Actually that is the first show we've ever done where I didn't feel like I was on there with you. Yeah. It was it felt like less than a Go mode, go mode go, go mode, mode. Like there's so many moving parts that need to happen for That makes that makes a lot of sense. It was tough. It was cool though. But it was a good don't get me wrong it was a fantastic experience. But in hindsight, I only looked back at it and thought, oh wow,, we we didn't. Yeah were running on pro genome and it was like on the day I wasn't like, oh my god, I'm doing O2. It was crazy. Yeah, neither I because they they convinced me I shouldn't have been there. Oh my god. I remember just the day was just not going well. God, yeah. I mean like one thing after another. One thing after another, it was just a reminder like you shouldn't be doing the OT today. Um I remember I went what was it? I started off in the INR in in the hotel didn't have a belt. I remember and I messaged you being like, We got a belt I can borrow random and you was like, No. So then I had to go only at the one. Yeah. I literally had the one shopping around. And I was thinking I kept thinking like Drake wouldn't be doing this right now. If Drake doesn't perform an O2 today, he would not be doing this right now. There'll be belts. Yeah, he would not be on a shortest high street shopping for a belt. I was like, all right, get over it. And then once on the way there, there's this like a obviously a, back entrance to get in. Yeah. They wouldn't let me in. Oh fuck. The Uber, yeah, the Uber pulled up, and they were like, This license plate isn't registered. I'm like, it's an Uber. And they were like, Who are you? Yeah. And they're like, Bro, I'm here for the show. And they're like, What show? I was like, Bro, it's just a kiss, please. And they're like, Okay, and what are you doing? And I was like, and I couldn't articulate it. And it also it made me feel sick to say like talent. I'm talent. Let me in. So I was like, oh, I don't like I'm like I'm in it. Like I'm just like I am in it. And they were like, no. And they were like, nah, nah, nah, nah, what's your name? And I'm like, I'm James until the point I actually had to screen to the woman literally go over there my face is gonna be yeah like a hundred feet high and then it that took like 20 minutes oh that's it was just over and over and over like more little little bits like that I was thinking Drake when we're doing with this. Nah. It's not But you got in. Eventually got in. Got in, you did it. We did it. And it was it was cool man. Really good day, yeah. The tour at the moment, which is gonna start in the UK, Daddy's home. Correct. Yeah. What a what a fucking name. Yeah. How did you come up with it? Okay, so we have kind of just started doing like just really push leaning into this is a stupid thing that shouldn't happen. So when we did the O two, that was called the biggest you've ever had. Um nice and then Nice Nice Yeah and then Daddy's Home was just about the fact that um when we'd done shows all the shows we'd done up until that point had been in the UK. Yeah, and then we had such a big American audience asking, like, when are these guys coming to America, come to America, come to America? And then they would start being like, come, come home, come home home. Oh, okay. So then it was like, all right, cool, daddy's home. Go to America and then Australia, then South Africa, and now actually home. What was Australia like? Sick. They're wild. Not as wild as um South Africa or America. Again, also very appreciative. Yeah, they are intense. You guys were in Japan. Yeah, a little holiday, yeah. Was that just cause you would like you just curious to go and like create some? We've always wanted to go. You went to Kyoto? Yeah. Is that how you say it? Kyoto, went to Kyoto, we went to that's where I wanna go. You wanna go to Kyoto? Kyoto's cool. Is it cool? Yeah, and they got it. Did you buy a lot of shit you don't need? Like a lot of like stuff? Not that much. I would go back and like probably do more. Yeah. But um I think I was very sensible. Also, my suitcases were full when I went there, or full ish, which was the mistake. Yeah, you always need a bit of room for souvenirs. Yeahah. But ye, we've always wanted to Japan. We're like diehard anime fans. Okay, sex right. Yeah, so like Japan's a big deal for us. Mm-hmm We had a lot of fun. I liked your clip on your pod where you get out of the Uber and you're looking the wrong way from the the tourist attraction that was behind you . Yeah. Yeah, that was stupid. Tell that story. That was actually in Kyoto as well. It was. Yeah. Um what's it called that it's like a memory? I can't shrine. I can't remember the name of the shrine, but yeah. Oh well played I think so. Is that what's really cool? I think so. Um but yeah, it is huge . And then yeah, we get in the Uber, we drop us, it drops us off there, and then we're getting out and we're like, all right, where is it? And there's, it's literally here. And there's a long walk down this road. And then we're like, all right, fuck it. I guess like, I guess this is as close as you can drop us. We're just gonna have to walk. Walk yeah. This road would have been like over a mile. Facts. And we start walking and then the the Uber driver can't speak English and he's like oh oh And then yeah we saw the fucking shrine. It was And you it was fucking funny. Non-missable and bright orange. Yeah. Wow. Oh, that was fucking funny. Did you want to die? He must have thought about these fucking idiots. Fucking idiots. If we could translate what he was trying to say, it would have been the funniest thing ever. Stupid prick. Wow. It's not my job to teach you common sense. Literally. Yeah, wow. How were you with food? Are you lactose intolerant? We both are. Yeah, we both are. Both are. Was it fine there? It's like sushi and stuff. It was incredible over there. Yeah. In terms of um the lactose. We had so much ice cream. Wait, so you two like no like no dairy at all? No dairy at all. Or what's happening? Shit in your pants? Oh uh not shit in pants for me. But stomach like is that. I'll be on the toilet for the rest of the whole day. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's a nightmare. Bloated just I won't sleep. Just bad news. Bad. But they're using different milk over there. Yeah, they're doing something different. Yeah, they're doing something different over in Japan. Much better. Much we ate ice cream every day and nothing bad happen.ed Yeah. Nothing. First first time in 20 years. They're doing something different. Well, you just like again it's just have a like a test of this and see like how how it goes down. Well, we weren't expecting it to be better or anything like that. We basically just went to a restaurant that had like a set menu. Um yeah. And then all that happened is they just gave us ice cream. Okay. And I felt rude being like, no. So I just like ate it to be polite and I thought I'm just gonna deal with the consequences tomorrow. Um and then I woke up the next day, I was like, Oh, that's weird. And then I thought I'm gonna push push the boat out. So we went to 7 Eleven and smashed like why 7 Eleven like a just a per fect 7 Eleven is the place we have . I was in South Korea for work. Nice. Different part. But do you know what it was cool? I don't think it's as like got as much as like Hong Kong or like Tokyo. Like there's little hubs where it's interesting in other parts I I was in Seoul. Yeah. Yeah. On the last three days I just ate McDonald's I was like so blocked up on the airplane I thought like I like you like blocked. Like I was like I'm actually like a health hazard to be on this aircraft. Like I was my guts was in a terrible way. But yeah. Um that was a massive overshare. But they um it was it was good, but um yeah, the food and the seven eleven is the thing. Like the you can do like all the milkshakes out of the freezer and like all the snacks, the noodles, all that's they've got a huge monopoly in Asia. I don't know . Yeah, Asia Like they really love it. Yeah. It's like a proper like thing and they then on TikTok they're like reviewing the best 7-Elevens in South Korea. I was like, okay, now I'm kind of invested, right? I'm here to make a documentary, but I'm more interested in doing a documentary about the documentary on plastic surgery. Oh, that's the place, right? The place. In terms of their science is so advanced, they're doing stuff that they have a different way of getting stuff to market like for in the UK and the US there's so many like years for things can come to market like because the FDA and testing but like because a lot of the science comes straight out of South Korea, they can bring it to market really quickly. Some things are amazing. Obviously, some things like they're like pulling like DNA from like dead bodies and injecting it as like an anti-aging thing. Like there's some of the stuff is like sound like it even makes sense. It's like the cells of like a cadaver. Someone's that donated their body from the start for the side. They're not just like randomly like, you know selecting. Yeah. It's like the type like people have been hit by a car. They're like, let's get some of that. Um, it's like people that have agreed. But yeah, that like it's like two years on the market. But yeah, this they do mad stuff. Interesting. I had my blood taken. I I wanted to this treatment that Kim Kardashian had. They take your blood, they spin it, they like get the stem cells, and then they inject it back into your face. I've seen that. I'm not joking. They took um maybe like six, like the size of those. No six of those. I'll pass out. I started seeing stars. Yo My producer for my TV was like, oh, this is going to become a compliance thing. Like, stop. Stop. Stop no more. No one speaks fucking English. They're just carrying on taking my blood. Six. I'll show you pic ature. I would n't feel my hands. I think one of them would make me five. Yeah, that's a lot. That's too much. That's way too much. Scary. Yeah, but having said that, thought I was gonna die, came back to the UK. Every single one on my team were like, you look a fetus. You look like a fetus. So I'm like, I need to go back to Korea. I'm and now I'm addicted. I need to go back I'm like, take the rest of my blood. Wow. Yeah, no, and like the difference, Grace, what was my skin like on that shoe? Everyone was like like like wanting to touch my skin and now I feel like I've been home, I've been out, I've smoked like fifty fags, and now I need to go back. Damn, fair play. I know, yeah. Um, okay. One of my favourite parts of your podcast. Well, actually, I've got favourite parts. I like when you read out stuff from Twitter that you you it's so you cite like a, you know, when did you start to hate your boyfriend and then react to basically people's Did you ever think that segment would grow to what it is? People are so funny. Internet is funny as you can. Like you see, I see something that person should be in comedy. Like that is so fucking smart. Unbelievable. So that's actually a funny story in terms of um that segment because in terms of uh what Fiod mentioned earlier, in that he'd never watched any podcast or listened to any podcast or anything like that. It was actually Fuhuad was like, oh, I've just got some like tweets and all this kind of stuff that I think would be funny to read. And me at the time, I was like, I don't know, dude, like, that's not really podcast stuff. But I was like, fuck it. Like sure. I don't really think people are gonna receive it very well. It sounds like just reading stuff sounds stupid. But then like I remember literally it was probably like one or two in, I was on the floor laughing. Um and a lot of it is your delivery as well. But I was actually say it so um like deadpan. Or sometimes when you have to compose yourself midway you know it's gonna be really good. Yeah. You always know a juicy one from threw it. If he's looking down and he looks at you like that, it's it's gonna be a banger. Um and then from then, yeah, I was like, I remember saying you have to do that every week. It's that's so funny. It's so funny, and p and and it's the way you react to it and it's it's it's yeah just the creativity of people. Yeah. My fav like my favourite ones are when people when did you start to read as you hated your boyfriend or girlfriend 'cause that's also like I think a core experience that everyone has someone they hate to the most. Yeah. Yeah. Which is sad actually. It's hor it's actually horrible, isn't it? But it also it's so shit like sometimes you listen to me think, okay, I I know when my ex-boyfriend started hating me. Like you or you know when you start hate it's it's horrible, isn't it? Like it's I was with an ex and someone came up to me and said, Oh bro, I love your podcast. Especially that part about uh reasons why you hate your girlfriend. Well, I walked out the list and she said, What the fuck is he talking about? Oh my god. I never told you this. No, you never. I was like, it was it's just tweets. Maybe it's just tweets . It's not a segment in your head, right? This is why I hate my girlfriend. I was like, for fuck's sake, bro. Yeah. That's hilarious. That is funny. It was peak. This episode is brought to you by Diet Coke. Okay, dolls, it's time for a little break, but not just any break. A Diet Coke break is nothing short of iconic. It's not your standard mid-morning office pause, it's a moment dedicated to yourself. Personally, I love taking my Diet Coke break as a chance to relax before heading out for the evening or to have a little rest during a shopping trip. It's no secret that Diet Coke and fashion are two of my favourite things. So Diet Coke teaming up with the Devil Wears Prada 2 is a col laboration I am very excited about. The Devil Wears Prada 2 is one of the most anticipated movies of the year, and to celebrate its release, Diet Coke are giving you a chance to win the break everybody wants. A trip to New York . All you have to do is scan the QR code on your Diet Coke and upload your receipt for a chance to win. Plus, there are hundreds of daily prizes including cinema tickets, an exclusive Diet Coke, and the Devil Wears Prada 2 merch up for graphs. So dolls, scan the QR code on your Diet Coke for a chance to win. The break everybody wants. Teasand C's apply, see Coke.co.uk . Kiwi . A great story like Monsters Inc., stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story. From the return of the award-winning hit series Rivals. Welcome to the naughtyest show on television To the unmissable crime drama High Potential. Gotta dead body, gotta go. A lifetime of great stories awaits. This spring on Disney Plus. 18 Plus. Subscription required. T's and C's apply . You also do like you do a rant of the week where you come in don't you and you talk about something you just rant about everything. So I was trying to decide how I wanted to do this but I thought it'd be funnier for me to basically throw some some sort of like some theories at you, some like some statements, and then we'll just do a hot take slash rant. So whatever comes to mind, okay. We'll start off quite we'll quite s easy. Slow walkers. Slow walkers. I had a fucking friend growing up. Oh god. Who would not only slow walk, he would slow walk in front of you on purpose. So he would literally weave down the paper like that. Nah bro. Piss me off. Nah, that's peak. All the time, bro. Yeah. Fuck slow walkers. Then we need a slow walk a lane. Yeah, we do. Same on like bicycle lanes and stuff yeah. But do you know I find that most moments when you're someone that is got nowhere to be in like an airport I'm like we all have somewhere to be that's where we're fucking in here and they're that you're late and they're like just that you say blocking you like oh my and you look nuts when you're weaving and every time oh it makes trying to ov do you ever get it where you try and overtake someone? Oh and then they 're and then they're there and also you ever do you ever get it, yeah, when you're trying to walk past someone, like overtake. So you speed up and they're actually walking faster than you thought. Yeah. So you spend a good four seconds on the high. Yeah, that's the worst. That's that's the worst thing in the world. That's butters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's but whatter I wass. I hate it. And you don't know whether it's a drop back or literally just start running. I have to drop back. I can't. Do you? Do you just admit? I'm not running. You can't try to overtake someone and realize you can't handle it and then drop back. It's not about not pussy. It's not about not handing it because I can clearly run faster, but it's like, this just looks awkward for me. You're taking yourself out the race. Yeah, I'm just like, you know what, go, bud. I will take, I will slow down two seconds, let him go past, and then I'll weave. Al Ohright. yeah. Wow. Okay . People that say no offense, but then uh per se proceed to offend you. They're kind of my brother's so bad for this. You're actually quite bad at this. My dad told my brother off the other day. I know I said to you no offense, but yours not not a no yours a no offense but you're a no you're you're a statement no offense that's you for an for example because i don't recall i don't re I don't remember frankie you can have to sit with like your whatever, but no offense. Give me an example. Is it true? It is true. Give me an example. I can't think of an example on the top of my head, but it's 100%. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. I don't recall though, but I'll take it. Cool. People that cue in somewhere like Starbucks, massive on queue, then get to front and go, Mm, what should I have? Underprepared bricks. I hate them. I hate them. They they absolutely hate them. You've had you've had so much time. I'm the type that I'll let people go forward so I can decide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good manners. I'm looking at the menu on my phone before I even reach the front desk. Just so I know what I'm getting. I'm not that guy. I am that I'm I just need to be in and out, bro. I appreciate it. I'm that guy. I should be I should do better. I'm not that guy. Okay. The statement that David Hay coined in the jungle recently, ugly girls need to have better personalities to survive. You don't understand how much drama we've missed. We don't watch Damasceleb. How do you not? Okay, we don't never watch it. But there's like four different dramas going on. There's four different dramas. Bro. So David Hay is on the jungle and he literally says with his full chest, is like you says to someone, it's like meant to be a compliment, you've got the personality of an ugly girl. Is in his his defense that is that ugly women, whatever in his version of ugly, have to have better personalities as what is the word he used on this morning? Um out of uh He went on this morning to explain himself? He doubled down. Double down No he never on daytime TV. Kat and Ben didn't know what to do. I felt like I felt like they were losing like they were trying to they because they obviously probably thought he was gonna go look it's been probably but he with his full chest doubled down Fuck I mean if you're gonna be a prick, you might as well just be a prick. I mean I for me I mean I flip it whenever I have met a guy that is like exceptionally beautiful that there normally isn't dumb yeah there's not like there isn't a charisma like there isn't they they they've not I I think it's because they've not had to work to pull women. So that's okay. It's just like the work. And also I die on this hill. I've never had mm uh I've never Go on. Go on. We're here now. I'm trying to get into how tall you two are. I've never had a I've never had a great sexual experience of anyone that's tall. Because I think again, I think that being tall is their whole thing. I wish also interesting. Like so like I think tall a lot of tall guys, their thing is they're tall. So they they love they ride on that laurel. They've got girls into bed because some girls are fixated on heights, they're always gonna get girls. But then the other areas aren't developed. Do you know what I mean? Oh that's peak. I will die for a short king with a face card. Like that has been that's been my undoing though for the last 10 years. What am I saying? Your undoing. Yeah, because they're these like short kings with these beautiful faces, they will ruin your fucking life. They will ruin your fucking life. I swear. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, they will and they got chat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chat. Because also if I'm tall and it's like if a short guy confidently approaches me, he's got more front than Azda. Like you're you're in trouble. I I'm in trouble. Like I I love the the confidence of it. That'.s both. That's very bad I'm I'm pretty shit as far as short guys go, I think. How so in terms of just in terms of like what we're talking about? Oh, okay. Charisma and chat. Fair enough. I'm terrible. You can't make that, you got a fucking massive podcast. Yeah, in a room with my friend, like a fucking loser . Literally. When I saw these, I was sat here, I was like, what? Oh, it's a busy room. Yeah, no, I think I'm middle ground. I think I'm you're decent. I'm middle ground when it comes to talking in general, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Got the chat? I would say so. Yeah. Okay, on that note, being women asking men out. Okay. How do you feel? Do you like would would you like to be uh if a girl asked you out on a date, like not for you 'cause it's like that's an opinion thing. I'm not asking a dude out. If if I if no one ever asks me out again, I die alone. And that is the pest that's it. I dial , it's me and my dogs. I don't give a fuck. I'm not sending good morning texts. I'm not like I'm asking you out. I'm not asking you when you're free. That's fair. That's my wanna be in your feminine indie . That's fair enough. Because I also think men have to chase in the beginning. It's all fucking wrong if you I agree. And actually, actually, like it is more rewarding for us to chase. To chase. Not if only if we're not it only if it doesn't seem like you're being intentionally like arms lengthy to continuously make me chase, make me chase, make me change. This is boring. Yeah. But um for us it is like we do get I'm gonna speak for myself but like if you do find up the balls to like ask a girl out it's so much more gratifying if a girl asks me out I'm just like yeah I feel like a bitch yeah she's she's leading the day she's leading the date. Literally, bro. Yeah, yeah. Like what? And I I'm supp what am I supposed to say? Um, okay. Yeah, yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What what what time? Okay, what time are you picking me up? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. What time do I mean? What's the Where we go? Yeah, where we go and I need to know what how to dress. Oh my days. Yeah, nah. Absolutely not. Not happening. But I also do understand from I get it, because if I check like the requests , I can see why this girl's asking me out. Because she's like, I just have to take matters into my own hands at this point. Okay, so I can agree with that in terms of I'm not mad at women shooting their shots. So like whatsoever. Yeah, I'm not mad at that whatsoever. But I feel like if a woman shot her shot at me by asking me out, I don't think I'll be able to say yes. But I'm not mad at them shooting their shot. Do you think you could ignore that and then circle back after the conversation to where you ask her out? Probably yes, depending on how fit I think she is. But yes, probably. Okay, fair. What about if you were dating for a while and she proposed ? Okay, that's that's impossible. That's impossible. And she's been living in her own relationship. This hasn't been our ready. fantasy world That's such a fucking piss take. Yeah. Never. Never. Oh, I don't care how much she spent on . I wasn't ready . I was I wasn't ready because I clearly didn't. So why I'm not ready. Why are you proposing to me? Yeah . Stand up. Yeah. Literally. Stand up. Stand up. Yeah, stand up. Dragger by armpits. Yeah. Like a kid. Yeah, yeah. Kid in attached to him saying get up, man. Get off the floor. Yeah. Get off the floor. Oh, I nothing would would piss me off more. Yeah. Oh, that is fucking funny. No, I get I get heat a bit of heat for this when I s when I talk about it's from girl. I piss and I'm always say to I I'm not judging like any women. I think the tree feminism is doing what the fuck you want to do. If you want to ask dudes out, if you want to pay half the bill, go knock yourself out. It's not gonna be me. But that like I'm happy for you that that's you know what you want to do. Crying when your football team wins slash loses. We've got the World Cup coming up. I know it's gonna be some sobbing and I'm just I need to know how you feel about it. Do you ever cry? No. Not for football anyway. No. Have you do you have any pals, football pals, that cry. No No.. I think because you're in a healthy male friendship group. He doesn't watch football. My friend Jacob though, our friend Jacob does kind of. Do you care? Will you be into the World Cup? Yeah, you'll follow it. Yeah, I'll be I'll definitely be following it, but I'll never uh would I get frustrated, would I get this? Would I get that? Yes, I would never cry. You'd never be like one of these dudes that's like ripping his clothes off. No cry No, that's insane. That's fucking insane. What is the worst you've done? Because you're pass passionionateate. I'm very about football. The worst I've done. I remember this was end of last season. United had a good run in the um Europa League. We we lost to Tottenham 1-0 in the final. It felt like I'd been dumped. Hands down top three worst feelings last year . But did I cry? No. But it felt like I'd been dumped. Wow. That's the best analogy I've ever heard. I was low. Really? Oh you man? I was low that day. Fuck. It was depressing. It was so depressing. ute to Tottenham of all people. One nil, the journey we'd gone through. We'd beat Leon 5-4 in the previous guy. It was mind-boggling. Mind-boggling. That's close to crying, bro. Feel like you got dumb. Yeah, I felt that's not Miles from crying. It's not, but I'm I'm never gonna cry for fair. Alright, for the question is, did I cry? No. But I want to play a bit of like amateur psychiatr ist here because I think that's maybe because you were in a friendship group where you talked to each other and you share. You know, I've talked about exes, and this is not uh any particular ex. I've had a few like this, have these male friendship groups where they they're very disconnected. I've seen them like at watching a football and they're all sobbing. Wow. And I think you've got a lot pent up. And this is now an outlet is about the football. This is a physical representation of what's happening in my life. Yeah, it's not just about the football. Your life sucks. So you're crying. But you're going, oh it's because of this is me. This is me. Yeah. Wow. Then they're acting as 'cause like a penalty shootout. It's not. It's it's not about that. It can't be about that. Yeah. Like you you can't be that invested. Like that's mental. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. It's too much. Your job. Yeah, you do. That's fine. You're gym guys, right? You try. That question leads us to believe that you don't think we look like gym guys, gym guys. No, I I do think I think you fucking Right. Just to clarify, before I overste p, you do lift a few weights. The card says you are. Yeah, but my eyes are my eyes. Yeah, facts. I've got twenty twenty. My glasses are on. Yeah, bro. So you tell me. Are we Jim guys? Sorry. Bi-weekly and I don't mess I'm messing, I'm messing, I'm messing. High rocks. Oh , that's conversation before. What is that called again? Hybrid rock stars. Hybrid rock Did you know that's what it stands for? You're fucking joking. Hybrid rock stars. Wait, that's not what it actually stands for. That's what I heard. Yeah, hybrid rock stars. That's what I heard as well. Apparently, they're all fucking. That doesn't surprise me. That doesn't surprise me at all. Because it's like Olympics . Ever fancied it? No, we had KSI one time and we got into like a debate and then we said that we were gonna do it. We're not gonna do it. We're not doing it. Does he do it? No , he's done a few times, yeah. Yeah, he likes it. I I'm not doing that. Yeah. It's too much. Yeah, it's way too much. Performative like loud sneezing. You know, people go and they sneeze so loudly. Like it feels great. I'm gonna say I am one of those I don't I don't do it. I wouldn't do it here ever. I'll do it at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it home. In my own space. Because I can. Yeah, I'm gonna roar at home. Yeah, roar . I'm gonna roar a sneeze out. Because it feels so good. It does feel good. God forbid, I've like taken a bite of rice as well. Yeah, straight out of my nose. Yeah, yeah. 100%. Because there's no point in trying to like save it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just lay it all out. Yeah, come straight out my life. Slay all out and I'll clean up. Yeah. It's my house at the end of the day. But yeah, here I'll be on a sneeze right across the lounge. I don't want to. But if you have to. If I have to, I will. Yeah. I don't want to. But yeah, it it also breaks the chain. The louder you sneeze, 'cause I'm like a multi-sneezer. Okay. I'm like a I'm one of those guys. But if I get like a one and done. Yeah. It's over. Yeah, mum. Okay. Um the people saying that men and women can't be friends. Disagree . I disagree. I disagree. But I can understand why people do say that. Yeah. I do think it's I don't I think it's I mean when I like talking like obviously hetero men women friendships on it. I think it's rarer than we give it credit for. It is rare. I have two female friends where they're like, I'm we're really close and it's completely platonic. Platonic and nothing would ever happen, or it has never come close. However, I have seen a lot of TikToks where they put the guys to the test and the guys fail every time. Yeah, I've seen it. It's so disappointed. Every fucking time. I can't defend us anymore. Yeah, it's heartbreaking. I can't defend us anymore. Because it happens every time. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Give him an inch. He's he's snapping out. I've waited five years. Of course I'm gonna say yes. Of course I'm gonna say yes.. You're laying Yeah, you're banging. You've been laying. I've stuck through all the boyfriends. It's my turn. You've cried on my shoulder. It's my fucking turn. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, I hate seeing us lose. It's such an easy test. It is, it is And it's so obviously a trap. Yeah. It's so obviously a trap. You can hear them on last week just laughing at you. Yeah. Spotters. No, that that's's actually cruel. It's cruel, it's very cruel. Because you have to see it tomorrow. You can't go back now. You can't go back. Yeah, I I I'm sick of seeing it. I please guys, just lock in. I I saw a m meme of the other day, it was like uh if you're having a bad day just think there's some do getting excited to go to work to hang out with your girl . Yeah you know like the workplace boyfriend who's like excited to go to work to hang out with your girl I don't think you understand what's what I've done to my mentor. Wow, that's a tweet. That is a tweet. That is a tweet. That's just a tweet. That's a tweet. That's a hall of famer. Wow. That's true. Yes, of course. I've been that guy as. well Yeah, but you're looking for it. Bro, when I was working in the office, there's fuck all to do. Yeah. Just gal. Yeah, bro. I'm gonna chat to your girl, bro. Yeah, fair. Yeah, man. There's nothing you can do about it as well. I have a I need to wake up tomorrow. I need the reason to wake up tomorrow outlets. She's the reason. I'm going in there. She's bored as well. Facts, bro. She don't want to be here. Yeah, she don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here. Yeah. Come on, man. We're gonna flirt. Yeah, bro. Oh god. Yeah. Oh that's a scary tweet. That is. Well played. Yeah. Well played on that tweet. Thank you. I didn't write it, but I saw it and it made me laugh. Because I just thought, yeah, that is that's valid. I've given up with the straight male friendship thing. Okay. Yeah. I just I feel like I've been burnt a few too many times. Really? That sucks, man. I think I have straight m like I there's like guys that like I would like h like I in this industry that I consider a friend, like I if I saw them at event we'd hang out, whatever. But I think there's a there's a line of like say that a friend that if we talk on the phone every day or it it goes beyond a point of like if you spend too much time one on one I think one side is always a little bit like one side always and I actually think it is always the guy because I actually I've been witness to girls tell you for a fact it's not always yeah I've been witness to girls who are like he's my best friend or whatever and I'm like you're in love with him like it's just not always like it's often it's the guy that will like be the one that you have a few beers then be like reaching his arm around you're like, whoa, what you doing? But like it's embarrassing. Well you know when a you know when a straight male friend like has in you you I've had this situation and like you just try and like deflect it's like say you're going for a relationship thing and then they get too impassioned about like what you deserve. Oh waiting. Yeah, and he's like, he's like, you deserve better. Like you, like any guy that's with you. And I'm like, woo, like you're really like out of breath on this space. Out of breath? And I'm like, no, I'm like, this is this is and then you start to feel the little signs that this is like not just that's a heart rate though. But I think it's like for me it's like yeah it depends how much one on one time. Because if you don't spend too much time in situations where it could become like you could everyone can make decisions that like you either you sit on a sofa in a like a dimly written room watching Netflix the chances are someone's gonna have the thought but if you're hanging out in a group like you're doing things that it might not. This is true. can You like create your own situations where that boundary is crossed. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Before I let you go, I'm gonna ask you, who should I have in the pod? Who should I have in the house? Who should who should you want on the guest list. And I want you guys to open my world up because I've really enjoyed having two lads in today. Oh fine. So I feel like I I'm now hoping really good. You've been a great like soft launch for lads in Olivia's house. So like I feel like now, Tom, I'm feeling good about you were right they're not scary nice Tom you thought we were scary not you two just men in general okay fair also I was like am I gonna have fun with a with with two straight guys but then I watched your shit and I was like they are fun, so it's potential. Oh, thank you. That's really kind. Hmm. Who should you have in here that we think would be good? Oh. Do you know who do you know who'll be fucking hilarious on here with you? Harry and Darkest. Harry and Darkest are cool. Ye.ah Yeah, Hyper Nero Darkness Darkest is so pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah, you would laugh with that. Are they fun? They are fun. They are. If oh my god, to be fair, if you want equal soft launches next time they're here, Joe and Frank will be good as well. Joe and Joan Frank's basement yard would be really good. Basement yard the two American podcasts. If I saw them I'd recognize that yeah. Yeah you would definitely I do those things about everyone knows Joe and Frank. They're the best. Um they're really really funny. Yeah, they're cool. Is KSI fun? KSI's cool. You know what? Yes, that's cool. Yeah. KSI has surprised I say surprising, he's been a YouTuber for literally all his life. Yeah. Really good comedic time in. Yeah. Yeah. Really good comedic. I've noticed that more in the last year or so. Yeah. Like I didn't understand because I don't I've only met him like once or twice now. Yeah. I didn't realize that like, oh, it's a bit. Like all the bit where people all the times where people are just like, oh fucking cares like this and cares like that.'s like it's a bit It's all a bit. This guy's timing is like clean. Yeah, yeah. And he's super like self-aware. KSI would be pretty good. KSI's fun. My my like me when I think of KSI, it's my l when he first broke out, is was it doing the FIFA? Like what he used to play FIFA on YouTube. My little brother used to show me the videos when he used to scream and then his mum would come in like slap him around the face. Like that was like you know, like that's how I still remember him. And I used to think, I don't know what's going on here, but it's such quite funny. Yeah. I I swear we're living in a simulation. I agree. Nothing, none of this can be real. Like the stuff that's going on is so mental. Yeah, it happens like periodically as well. Yeah. Something weirder will always keep happening. True. I was talking about COVID the other day. We used I used I used to queue for half an hour to go into Tesco and then follow the trail that they would tell me to go around. Do you know what I'm saying? And the car park, like all spread out. In the car park, Fuhad. Fuck that, yeah. In the freezing cold. Fuck that. Wearing a mask. A surgical mask. Yeah. Yeah, the mask . And getting as much toilet paper as possible. You can. Or you can grab. Toilet paper. Was the toilet paper thing real look or did someone just decide it's toilet paper or nothing were taken. Could it have been anything else? Also, like without being disgusting, it's not a necessity if you can just wash your ass. Yeah, like you could have no one shits like people would people. Yeah, yeah, what kind of like bowel movements are you having that like you you need that much toilet roll? And you obviously rather have it, but it's like the way people were acting as if it was like water. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But we are, I think our generation is so cooked. Like what we've been through, like you know, from the age of like from 9-11 to COVID. Like when you see our generation making memes about World War III, you know we've been through too much. Like it's like I saw something like, oh my God, please no world no World War Three, I'm getting my nails done on Monday. Like we're so fucked all we're so desensitized to trauma. Yeah, it's true. Like nothing serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I was thinking that the other day as well. Speaking of being des ensitized, I was in an Uber the other day. I haven't listened to like I don't really listen to the news. Mm-hmm. So I as a channel, I get like my shit from social media and it's just like a post in its individual state. I was in the Uber the other day, bro. I was just listening to the news on the radio. Is there a f oly fucking shit? Stuff happening. The scariest thing I think I've I've ever heard, bro. This girl was kidnapped in Manchester. This happened here. This person was stabbed in the tube. This is I was thinking, this is all he's listening to all day. Yeah, fucking. I listen to it for five minutes. I was like, bro, I can't live here this anymore. Damn. It's scary. My parents watch the like six o'clock news like it's their job. Oh like my mum's like she misses it, like the country might fall apart. And also she'll keep me informed on like current events. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like oh meningitis outbreak. She was like, yeah. But I was also then convinced I had it for like You were convinced you had meningitis. Yeah. I like I d like I will how do you describe this? Like I in the last month in my mind. I had a brain tumour, I had meningitis, I had what else did I have the week before that? Just it's always I like a little bit of WebMD. So I feel like oh my neck it's like hurting. Oh, I had the weird palpitation in New York . I thought I had a pulmonary envision. Oh my god. Um do you use chat a lot? I actually don't. I'm not a big chat GBT person. I actually try and actively stay away from AI and always say to these look from my side, I don't know what you guys are like, but so much of my job is like especially when I'm doing the telly stuff, is like a camera in my face, like say something funny. I'm really scared that I'm gonna become stupid if I use it too much. Yeah, because it's like you know like if someone's asking you to respond, I I couldn't want to like weaken that. Do you know what I mean ? Yeah, 100%. If I worked in an office, I think I'd fucking just use it for everything. But I feel like I' dont wanna turn my brain off like that. I tried it one time, yeah. It made me feel so shit about myself. What did you actually do? What did you ask? So I asked. Um I actually asked, I was like, Oh, I wonder if it can help us like with segments for the podcast. Okay. And then I was like, oh, can you design me a segment around like this type of topic for James the Field from Shits and Gigs? And the script it spat out was like, yeah, bro. No way, fam. And I was thinking this is what this is the representation of the internet. Thinks of us. Yeah. Fucking donuts. Yeah. Absolute donuts. And I was like, nah, never never, ever again. So it's been a joy. It really has been a joy. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you. Um when is Daddy next home? When the Daddy's home? So the Daddy's Home Tour starts on the 24th of May, which is a Sunday. Bristol's our first show. And then we take the nation by store. Well played for it. Right, guys, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Hello, it's Jamie Lang here. And Sophie Lang, and we have just had a baby. Yeah, we have. So it turns out the biggest change isn't just having a baby, by the way. No, it's what it does to us. Yeah, the dynamic shifts. You're tired, you're emotional, you're slightly unhinged. Speak for yourself, so I am, but you are more so. Okay, welcome to our new show, Newly Parents. We're talking wins, we're talking arguments, we're talking everything. Oh, yeah. This is Newly Parents. It's out right now, guys. Wherever you watch or listen to your podcast.