Grief and Supporting Family Through Addiction

This is a iHot podcost guaranteed human Summer is a gift It's a gift of days that last a little longer, a brighter state of mind So giveift yourself a new Kia at the KA Summer Sticker Sales event, Epecially taged vehicles including the Serento, Sportage, Carnival, as well as the Nio Hybrid. all backed by a ten year one hundred thousand mile limited powertrain warranty. So the gift of summer can keep on giving for summers to come. Kia Movement that inspires. Call eight hundred thir three three four K for Details hs Jafy event and seven hundred six twenty six to deealer for warranty details Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Bones. Today we're talking about Thomas Rhed and the soundtrack to Life Tour. For over a decade, Thomas Redt has delivered more than twenty number one hits and sold out tours. Inspired by his family and his Nashville roots, he's created songs that have become the soundtrack to our lives. From Dia happay Man to lifeife Changes. 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And on one side you have the grief of Bu and then dealing with the public scrutiny, especially around Hunter. I didn't believe Bow was going to die. I think once we went through that, no matter how mean it God or cruel It was like buddy You can't touch us Hey everyone, welcome back to on Purpose. My guest today is doctor Chill Biden, an educator, author, former first Lady of the United States, and someone who has dedicated her life to teaching. Today, we talk about family, resilience and the lessons she's learned through some of the life's biggest transitions Joille Biden, welcome to OnP. Thank you. It is. It's such a joy to see you again. We saw each other. About a month ago. About a month ago at History Tour. In Philly? Absolutely. And I've had the honor of interviewing you and President Biden And I've been fortunate enough to have so many interactions with your family who've been so extremely generous and kind to me in so many ways And so I'm really, really appreciateating. They feel the same way about you. It's rare that you get to interview someone and then get to interview their wife. and then get to ask them questions about each other. then all the grandkids.s going to keep bumping into everywhere around the world. All the Biden. It's pretty special. And I have to wish you a happy belated birthday. Thank you. And you obviously celebrating with your book launch. Actually the second day of my book launch, ye So you didn't get the re? No, I had five cakes. I mean now I'm on my celery diet Five cakes. Yeah, five the reason for When I went, everybody gave me a birthday cake. Oh, that's It's really nice. And so if somebody makes you a birthday cake special, you have to eat it. You just can't say, Oh, no, I'm watching my calories. You have to eat the cake. So five cakes. Five cakes. That's impressive. I was thinking about this. You've lived an extraordinary life. I have We read this book You can't help but think, how does one person experience all of this And how does one person even have the capacity to navigate all of this And I was thinking that if you had to look at your life Looking forward from age twenty. and you would to reflect on what's happened What would that version of you think? What would that version of you anticipate or be able to see. I never could have foreseen any of it. Not any of it Because if you think of where I was at age twenty, I was at t the University of Delaware, I was studying English. I was actually married. I got married. I went to college. I met someone freshman year, fell in love, and got married. It was this great romantic vision. you know, Oh, we'll go to college together. We'll take classes together, which we did start out doing. And the marriage went on for about five years and we really grew apart and it was best thing because me on this new trajectory and I met Joe when I was a senior at the University of Delaware. He called me. It's kind of a funny story. I was at home in my apartment And it was Saturday and I get this phone call And he said, Jill, this is Joe Biden. Well, I didn't I knew who he was, but you know, we hadn't really spent any time together. I think I shook his hand at one event one time. He said, Are you free tonight? And I said Well, no, I have a date And he said, do you think you could break the date? And I said I don't know. I'll call me back in an hour. So I broke the date and we went out. And so like I said, I was a senior at the University of Delaware All the guys I dated had long hair, you know, bell bottoms, clogs, tie die shirts So he comes to the door. And I opened the door One look at his perfect suit and his leather loopers. And I thought, thank God, this is only one date Be he was just so different from anyone I had gone out with. He was ten years older. I knew he had two children that because he lost his first wife and daughter in a car accident So we went out on the date to Philadelphia. We went out to the movies and for dinner afterwards I really had no intention of going out with him again. I was just curious We came home And I remember I lived in this townhouse. And we went to the door And, you know, it was this time where It was like this revolution where men were kind of more forward they felt like You owe them something at the end of the dayate. And he stuck out his hand and he said, I'd like to see you again No kiss, no groping, nothing. And I remember it was one o'clock in the morning. I went upstairs in my townhouse called my mother at one o'clock in the morning and I said, Mom, I finally met a gentleman Wow. Yeah So I dated him the next night actually. He called, you know, can we go out again And he's trying to maintain this cool. I remember He came over and he had a book in his pocket, his calendar And he said, you know, I'd really like to go out with you again. And I said fine And so he's looking through the pages and he's like, well, no, not next Thursday. Well, no I'm busy. Well not Wednesday, No. And he goes, well, how about tomorrowight? And I thought, buddy, you just blew your cool. And so we went out, I swear almost every night for Proably two years. W. And the beautiful thing was about our relationship, I think, is that because he had these Bow and Hunt our two boys You know, the first maybe night or two we went out to dinner together, but then It was always Me and Joe and Beau and Hunter I mean, that's what it was. It was like so natural I go to his house and dinner there, we'd go out to the movies, we went to the beat. I mean, we'd go everywhere together and it was just So natural. I think people probably find that hard to believe, but It was just easy. After dating u two years. The Bys were in Joe was shaving on his way to work to the Senate And apparently, this is a story that Joe tells The boys came in and they said, Daddy, we have something we want to ask you And Joe said, what? And Beow said, you tell himunter and Hunter. said, No, you tell him, Beow. Anyway, they finally came down to it and they said, We think we should marry Jill. And so that's when Joe started, you know, asking me to marry him. Wow. But it did take five times Be But you rejected him five times? I did. I rejected him five times. Talk to us about how those five rejections went. Did he get down on his knee every time? No, he didn't. He just kept saying, I want to marry you. I want to marry you And I kept saying, no, not yet, not yet. I'm not ready. What was that hesitation I'm telling you, Jay, I mean, I love the boys so much And u I knew that they had lost their mother of course, and I had to be one hundred percent sure This marriage was going to work becausecause they had already lost one mother through a car accident. through death. And they couldn't lose another one through divorce So I thought this marriage has to last till deeath do us part And here we are like forty nine years later. so I think that it has. What was it that finally convinced you on that fifth time? Well, he gave me an ultimatum So he went to Africa And he came back on a trip for the Senate and he came back and I was in my apartment. And um He knocked on the door and I said, Joe, come on in. come I said No. I'm not coming in I want to know right now, what is your answer And uh thought Okay And I said, okay I'll marry you. Did you have fears at that time after your d? Oh my God, yes. What was that like at that time? getting married so early, being at college? My parents had such a beautiful marriage, a wonderful marriage. And I was talking to my sisters about it yesterday. I said, you know, We lived such an idyllic life growing up. It really was this Ozsie and Harriet or leave it to Beaver kind of existence. So when I went to college and I met this guy and I totally trusted him. and I thought, o, now I'm going to have a marriage like my parents have And so that's why I got married so young. My parents had gotten married young. They had elope. married. L one of their parents never knew that they had a lope So that's what I based, you know, the reason that I would get married so young. But I was still a college student. I didn't have any money I was on my own. I wasn't financially independent And I think that was the thing that made me want to be independent my whole life. And what I say to my daughter and my granddaughters you have to financial independence. So going through a divorce at that young age, left impact on me and it took me a long time to get over it. and my mother was really the one I turn to. I swear. I think called her like every night for a year just could not get myself together. I took a semester off at college. And it was like this sudden realization like Heygirl. You got to make it on your own So I graduated, I got a job I bought a car. Of course my my father had to cosign in those days. It was like nineteen seventy four. Got on my way But when you read the book and even as I'm hearing you now, It feels like you are such an intentional young person Even the thoughtfulness you had around the responsibility it would take to take care of these Two young boys, the gravitalus of that and what that would look like moving forward and understanding the weight on both of them of losing their mother through a car accident. Like it feels like there was so much intentionality. What was the intentionality that you and Joe put in early into your marriage to last forty nine years If there were three principles, three lessons that you said We learnnt this early. we put this in early and that's what helped us lost the test of time. What would they be? We built the family on love And I quit my teaching job for two years because I wanted to be to establish myself as their mother. that they were my sole purpose in life. I would go and I would work in the library at their school. And Jay, they were so cute. like they were so proud of me. they would say, My mom's here today and she's working in the library and they'd bring all their little friends in to see me and to say hello Kids were really involved in all kinds of sports. I mean, you know, soccer or, baseball, everything. And I went to all their games. I love to cook I believe food is love And I made sure that I made great dinners every single night. and I baked like crazy. So they always brought their friends home and there were always chocolate chip cookies or cake. You know I wanted it to be like I grew up. We would have dinner every night together. Now Joe's train got home about seven thirty So I would have dinner with the boys And then we would wait for dessert. And when Joe came in, then I'd have his plate and give him his, I mean, I'm telling you it was Ozzie and Harrod, so I learned so many good lessons from my own parents about love and laughter. and my parents made our lives so much fun. I can remember one dinner. I don't know. My mother was teasing my father And we had just gotten back from my grandparents in South Jersey. and there was a big bushel of tomatoes And my mother got up And she took one of it was right in the middle of dinner and she took one of those tomatoes and she threw it right at my father, not in anger, but in like a tomato fight. Well, we all got up. of us and we're throwing tomatoes and we're, you know, I mean, I know it sounds a little bit of crazy, but that's fun my parents were I mean, they did crazy stuff, like Halloween night, my mom would have our homemade costumes and everything. and they'd go out in the neighborhood with their martini glasses and they'd go trick or treating. I mean, I have just wonderful memories I wanted my children on their childhood and be able to say I really had a really great childhood. So we were very intentional. This is a cute story. So I thought I was pregnant. So I didn't tell Joe Boys came home from school. And I said, I think I'm gonna to have a baby, but there's a way that you find out. And I said, you go to the drugstore and you get this test. And I said, let's go find out. and then we'll tell Daddy if I am. They were all in. So I put the sunglasses on because remember I was a Senate spouse and people in Delaware would recognize me. So we go to the drugstore test and then you have to do it in the morning. We waited. and then we found out that I was pregnant and they were the ones to tell Joe that we were having a baby. And I wanted them not to feel threatened by that. So I said to them You can name the baby anything you want. So they picked a boy's name and they picked a girl's name. and they named the baby. Oh w. Yeah. And they came with us to the hospital when I was in labor We drove to the hospital Of course I was like trying like I didn't want them to have this memory of, you know, what labor pains are like. so I'm trying to be really so endoruring it all. And then I had a C section. so a friend of ours came and took them to McDonald's while they performed genus section. Yeah. My parents had a neat trick for that. I remember that you're reminding me of now is when I'm the oldldest, I have a younger sister When she was coming, my parents used to tell me to pray for a little friend. That's all I would do. I would like pray for this little friend to bee and then when my sister was born I was like, oh my Godd, it worked. L my prayers worked and I was so excited. Wh were you? I was like four and a half. And it was so exciting to have that experience. And it's so amazing how parents find really smart ways of preparing their kids for a sibling coming into the world what that looks like. When I hear these stories, they're just so full of like Richness and joy and abundance and love as you're saying and course, life's challenging, it's hard, it's difficult. It's, you knows. And so you're trying to bring in all these beautiful moments make all these beautiful memories. What was it like when Jeff has said to you that he wanted to run for president The first time he ran it was nineteen eighty seven. So we were out on the campaign trail, I remember in Iowa. I was there all the time. And it was exhausting because I was traveling a lot and then I would come home. And I would have actually was six, I think The boys were a little older And u They all wanted my attention. you know, So I come home just so tired That campaign didn't work out. Joe was they said that he plagiarized a passage from it's funny coming back, Kinick was the guy's name And so Joe dropped out of the race, but That saved his life becausecause in February of nineteen eighty eight. I remember I was teaching and I got a knock on my door. It was a principal. and he said, Jill, gotten a call from home, you have to go home right away. So I rushed home. I saw Joe on the bed. I mean, his face was gray So we rushed him to the hospital. and They said We think he has He has an aneurysm can remember, I ran home because I had actually getting off the bus, noody was there. I ran home gotot her settled, called the babysitter, you know, tried to get a hold of the boys I went back to the hospital I'm walking down the hallway And there's a nurse sitting there with a table in front of her looking at the charts And I said, what are you doing? And she said, Don't go in there. I said, why not She said the priest is in there and he's giving last rites I opened that door. I ran in and I said to the priest Get out, G out My husband is not dying Get out priest just looked at me gathered his stuff and walked out There was no way God was going to take Joe away from those children when they had lost their mother What gave you that conviction and faith in that moment to be able to do that. I mean, I don't know. I woring the here. I could not bear Joe would die. I couldn't bear it and leave the children after They had lost their mother That would be so horrible Anyway, we went to Walter Reid. He was there for like, I think, seven months. I was teaching, I was commuting after school, like almost two hours. sometometimes friends would drive me down. I had, you know, babysitters come in with the kids. Bow was the University of Pennsylvania um, It was one of the toughest times of our lives, but he lived. You know, I went to that hospital. I went to Walter Reed can remember the surgeon Dr. George coming in and booys with me George said He may not make it. And so Joe said to the boys If I don't make through make it through this, I want you to take care of your mother And u But he did. he lived he lived through it and it was it was a long hard recovery And he went on to run for president again. There were a couple more times he wanted to run. I can remember. I think it was seventy two bunch of them Political supporters came in and said I could hear them. I was down at the pool. you know, I was young. I had on a bikini because I was young. And I could hear them upstairs. You know, you have to run, you have to run And I thought, no way, not now I don't know what made me do this, but I took a blackmagic marker And I wrote no on my stomach And I walked in through the library And they got the message and, uh gosh, your conviction in these really important moments surprises me on both ends. It does. Yeah, that's I mean, it's brilliant. It's brilliant. but it's like it's so it's so bold and it's so that you're so sure I guess that's true. I don't know. You have to be You can't be wishy washy. Where does that come from for you? Where does that strength, that conviction, that clarity come from for you? My mother was really strong. She's definitely my role model turned to her in so many times in life. and The sound of my mother's voice Calm me down in an instant. And one of my biggest regrets in life is that I don't have a recording of her voice So I tell people who are parents or losing parents record their voices because Someday you're going to need that to hear it Luckily for me, I have a recording of Boe's voice because he gave so many speeches, he was attorney generenal And so sometimes when the challenges are really tough I go to the computer When I listened to his voice and it just calms me down If you had a recording of your momum's voice what Would you hope that she would say Just her hello Jill Instantly, I can't even tell you was it's like such a trigger That's a really beautiful piece of advice and You're so right in this world now we're where inundated and overexposed to Faceetimes and Zooms and calls with our family, we don't necessarily have recordings as much anymore. Maybe we have videos, but T of audio recording of a conversation Yeah. That's a really beautiful takeaway that I'm going to do that. I'm going gonna talk to. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to talk to my mum and make sure that I record a piece, I think that would be you always want to hear that, right? Yeah, absolutely. You put on the bikini, you write down black no on your stomach, walk through. Everyone listenensed. Oh, they saw that. Yeah. I didn't have to say a word. Yeah As a matter of fact, I didn't say a word.. Just walked through and walked out. Joe finally runs and wins like that time, what was different? What allowed you to say, yeah, this time go for it This time it's okay. I guess because Joe had been vice president and I saw what the life was like I knew it would be challenging believe in war, Joe would end the forever Wars and you know, he embrocked it with Iraq I don't know. There were so many people telling him, You have to run, you have to run Of course, his age was a question. shouldhould he, shouldn't he? then, um He had to make that decision himself I didn't push him one way or the other And I write in my book how we were at George the Eldter George Bush's funeral And u We went to lunch afterwards at Black Salt Restaurant in Washington And I just said Are you going to run for president? What's your decision I need to know. Then he said, yes, I decided to run. That's how I found out that time you didn't have a a yes or no in knew it was No, it had to be him. One of the beauties I think of our marriage and maybe you saw this in Philadelphia I support Joe and what he wants to do All my life, he has supported me. He supported my career, my teaching, my volunteer work, anything that I wanted to do he was supportive of. whether he liked me doing it or not And I felt the same way about his career That's really what a true partnership is in a marriage. We respected one another's choices. What do you think people underestimate about being firstirst lady I feel like everyone has a sense of pressure that it takes to be president first ladies have chosen to do the job a different way, I think. Like Laura Bush didn't do it the same way her mother in law did. Michelle Obama didn't do it the same way that maybe Hillary Clinton did. We've all done it in different ways. I respect that. even if they've decided not to do anything or whether they decide to like Rosalind Carter, you know, she would sit in on cabinet meetings. She was very involved in Jimmy's career President Carter and I respect that. I respect other women's choices. It's a hard job, but it's, I mean, it's it is an honor of a lifetime, I think for most of us. What was your most difficult day in the White House? I mean, trying to live through COVID Afghanistan withdrawal, definitely one of the hardest days There were a lot of times, you know, if you remember, like how about the Uvaldi shhootings I mean, that Terrible all those children and going to visit the school and being a teacher myself, you know, when we went out to Hawaii to the fires and saw that. You know, there were so many. Joyous days too. How do you begin to process all of that? Like to have the capacity to hold all of that because there's personal loss, there's bu, there's personersonal loss in wider family, family parents. and then you have this global loss and global pain that you're also ed to and managing and visiting and as you said, as a teacher going to schools and What did you do? What do you turn to in those moments? I can compartmentalize So if I'm in the classroom, I am totally one hundred percent in the classroom at that point. or if I'm doing something at the White House, whatever that is, I'm totally there. And with my kids, they get my total attention. It's really helpful that if I can keep doing that, it's not always easy every day. Simes it bleeds into the You know, whatever you're doing because you have something in the back of your mind that you're trying to deal with. Kill has helped me most of all. Presence. Yeah. A being there. Yeah, being present Hey everyone. It's Cal Pen, host of EarsSay, the Audible and IHart Audioobook Club This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Will Wheaton, who played Gordy Le Chance in Stand By Me forty years ago and now narrates Stephen King's The Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth, and why the friendships you have at twelve might be the most important ones you'll ever have I know Gordy Lence. I am Gordy Leciience. Like, I mean, even when I was a little kid, I was born you a chance when I didn't know it Listen to ears say the Audible and IHart Audioobook Club on the IHart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts Summer is a gift It's a gift of days that last a little longer, a brighter state of mind So give yourself a new Kia at the KEia Summer Sticker S sales event Eespecially tagged vehicles including the Srento, Sportage, Carnival, as well as the Nurohybrid, all backed by a ten year one hundred thousand mile limited powertrain warranty. So the gift of summer can keep on giving for summers to come. Kia Movement that inspires Call eight hundred three three threety four K for details host Jafy event and seven hundred six twenty six to deealer for warranty details This is Ashley I from the Almost famamous podcast. Can I be honest for a second? Some mornings I look in the mirror and I think, whyy do I look this tired? Puffiness around the eyes, dullness? because sometimes stress starts showing up on your face before you even realize it. And that's why I've been loving this holistic goddess organic castor oil roll on with frankincense. No crazy chemicals, no expensive treatments. It's just organic Pastor oil, Frankincense in this rose quartz roller that feels so good on tired stressed skin. I look for anything that can de puff me and this really did, my under eyes look brighter. My face looked way more refreshed. It's almost like my face just exhaled. So try the Holistic goddess orrganic pastor oil roll on with Frankincense yourself Use my promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley for fifteen percent off. promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley I think most people feel this way. If you looked at your schedule for the next week or month or year You'd be so overwhelmed by it.. And so I was saying to someone, I can only live in twenty four hour cycles Because then I can deal with what's today. I can deal with what's happening right now to make decisions for the future that are better that feel right today, and then I can do with it tomorrow. But if you ask me what's happening in three months? No, I agree with that. Right? It gets really overwhelming to start living in these. long term cycles of like, oh, what have you got going in months? It's like, I don't know I dont want know. I dont want just live right now. Let me get through today. Yeah Yeah and that presence to hear that That's what you needed and to compartmentalize and to just be present as a teacher, to just be present as a mother, to just be present as a As a first lady. What did it feel like when President Biden finally won? Like what did that what did that moment feel? Oh my God, it was so exciting. And if you remember, there was like a week before we were declared the winner. Every day, the TV's were on. Steve Kornacki was up there with all his statistics and I thought, you know, does that man never sleep? It was getting on my nerve so badly And so one morning, Joe and I just like we were like, oh my God, we got to get out of the house. So we live on a man made lake and it has a dock So we went down to the dock, we had our coffee cups, and we had just really sat down for a couple minutes. and then like all of a sudden, our grandkids came running out of the house screaming, We won, we won. And then we came back into the house and I mean, it was just amazing. It was just so amazing and exciting and Yeah know, it was it was surreal Did it feel like a long time coming, having had all those runs before and people It did. And I didn't expect Joe to become, you know, after VP, I thought we were finished So we had those years in between, I think four years. I was commuting to NoOva, my college where I worked, from Delaware, because I love Nova so much and you know, becoming involved in other things. So think about getting back into this lifestyle and what it would mean and It was challenging, but it was good. I have really good memories of that. What's the greatest thing you've learned by being a teacher? I think the greatest gift that I can give my students They don't need to know how to write the paragraph or the topic sentence or whatever it is. If I can give them the confidence write it. That makes all the difference. And the first day of school, I say to my students or I would, this was the first day assmment. I said, we're going to write a poem today. And they're like Oh my God, what do you mean? We're not writing a poem? And I said, Yes you are. We're writing a poem today and you're going to like it So it's called whereere I'm fromrom. We would read, George Llla. Lyion's poem. and then And they liked that. And then I would start using my own examples where I'm from. So my grandparents on my father's side were Italian. And I would talk about, you know the sauce bubbling on the stove and the noodles drying in the kitchen. and food is such a good place to start So they would start to think about it, and I'd read poems from other classes that students wrote And then they would kind of get excited. And so the next class they would come in and they would write their own poems and then They were a little bit shy, but then I'd say, okay, who wants to read a poem? Well, maybe I'd have to call in the first person, but then once you break the ice, they were great. So then they'd start to read and they'd say, I'm from Peru too. Listen to my poem. My grandma made that too. The class would instantly bond, they would form community You know, they were community college students So that meant they were any age from like eighteen to eighty three was my oldest student I ever had They said, Dr. B, can we put our poems on the wall? And I said, yeah, that's a great idea. I loved that they were so proud of themselves that they could write a poem. Even the kids who had never written a poem before, they felt such pride. So if you can give them confidence I think that's the most important thing a teacher can do I cant agree with you more. you're making me think of so many of my teachers who You have your favorite teacher? Yeah, definitely. Who doesn't? I feel like you remember I have two, one from primary school, elementary school and one from high school. And so my one from primary school is called Mrter Foxwell, who just had that energy. He made every class fun. He gave you so much confidence. You walked in feeling like a million bucks And then I had a high school teacher named Mr. Buckeridge who made me question I was older then, so he had the ability to challenge me a bit more But he would always he was my art teacher and I love art. It was one of my favorite subjects. All the kids love art. English not so much. English was one of my favorite subjects too. That's great. But was art was right up there. I remember I'd make this thing look beautiful. I can paint or draw, but I did a lot of collage, I did a lot of graphics. And I'd make everything look perfect And then he'd look at it and he'd say to me, Why did you do that And I wouldn't have answer of just because it looked good. Yeah. And I didn't want to say that to him because I knew he wanted a deeper answer, but I didn't have a deeper answer. So I'd say I did it because it looked good. And he said, well figure out why you did it, better than aesthetics. And it was such a great. made you think, right? Made you think. He would always ask me why? Why is that color next to that color Yeah? Why is that image next to that image? Why did you put that word there And it was such a beautiful practice in intentionality going back to that. And look where it led you, right? I mean, it's right what you're doing now, questestioning. Yeah sure you put one color next to the other. Yeah, for sure. It was just a simple question that just planted that seed of nothing should be just random and just for aesthetic reasons or just because it looks or sounds good Things have to have depth and they have to have equality. And I owe those teachers so much I wouldn't be nearly where I am in life or Mentally at those times if I didn't have them and it sounds like your students, do you still keep in touch with any students? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Do you still hear a lot of students. What are the kinds of things that you hear from them and what are the ex? they're doing well. It's amazing how many students I run into and um Even last night in Philadelphia at my book talkalk, you know, students came and And in my Washington one, a lot of my Nova students came. and yeah, they text with me and they tell me what's going on. and I mentor a lot of young women and I love being able to part of their lives, give them advice heere their stories. And give them confidence. What do you think young women right now in America need to hear most We lost some steps Um in the last or three years and I think we need to get on track for the things that women have always fought for. and that's, you know, equality, Roe v Wade, equal Wages, you know, I'm so interested in women's health. And I joined the Milk and Women's Health Network because I found out that before nineteen ninety three, All the research was done on males Even the mice were males which is unbelievable. So Ething all the diagnosis we got, all the prescriptions are based on males' bodies So you know, I think that women really need to fight for themselves and fight for answers on osteoporosis, endometriosis, menopause, wherever we're going. I mean, heart disease so many things, autoimmune diseases. You know, some disees women more than men and Why? what are the differences? So I think that Young women are trying to find their way where they fit in But I think they can't be complacent. They have to keep fighting for themselves. I'm trying to remember the exact statistic and I'll get it wrong right now, but I remember that there was research done on how only one percent of investment went into women's medical research and health research to actually understand exactly right What was happening in women's health and that og was m I know. And when I heard that, I mean, I told Joe about it and he said, We're going to change it. and that's why we had the White House initiative on womomen's Health and put one billion dollars in in one year. And I'm so proud of that because I felt that that was the catalyst. People had been working on women's health for years, but I think that spurred this movement forward Um, investors to get, you know, venture capitalists to invest and people, scientists to do research. and it just it feels good feels good for women's health right now. Yeah, heading in the right direction. Lots lots more to do Eactly. But at least at least on the right path. I think we have clarity and there's Our eyes are pointing in the right direction. Now we have to get off. Oh you recognize that. Yeah Yeah. I think we've been talking a lot about our audiences primarily women And we've been talking about everything that you just mentioned, women's health topics consistently on the show because we think people aren't getting access to this information and So much more preventative care. Yes. I was reading recently he young women now are getting back into tanning beds and I'm like, what are they thinking? I mean, they're so bad for you. And I know myself since I I mean, I s out in the sun we all did back en they need to learn about prevention and how to take care of themselves and use sunscreen and not to smoke and we have to eat healthy, not processed foods. I mean, there's so many prevention. and I've had skin cancer myself. I had it in the White House actually. rememoved from my eyelid and my chest And I know how traumatic it was for me. So for the young women to have the chance to really take control of their own health and move forward in a really positive, healthy way is so important. So that's kind of what I'm out there pushing. I feel like this book is so raw and vulnerable. It's so real. When you're reading it, like it's Thank you It's like a look into your heart. It really invites you in. it really lets you into these really difficult moments. and the one that stood out to me was reading about your experience of the twenty twenty four debate, and you talk about this raw fear. Yeah that you experienced. What was going through your mind As you're watching the debate in twenty twenty four. I was in the green room just watching the TV like everybody else and When I saw that moment when Joe kind of froze Oh my Godd, and I write this in my book It was like Is he having a stroke? And I was scared to death I was sitting, I got up, I started pacing likeike, what's happening? What's happening? So then after the debate, I went out on the stage right away because I wanted to see him You know, face to face And he said, as we're walking off And I won't repeat the exact words, but he said, I really didn't I? And I said, Yeahah, Joe, you did And then we went got off the stage. I went to the green room to get my stuff. We had a group of doctors always traveled with Joe And he went with his staff and the doctors and the doctor said to me, he's okay. He's okay. because we had three more events to do that night. So we went to the hotel ballroom with supporters. We went to a waffle house, Do you know what that is Yeah, ye Yeah. Yeah, I know. from the Northeast So like waffle house what are you talking?. So anyway, we go to the waffle house at whatever time it was eleven And then we went to North Carolina in the morning we get off the plane. There's a band, there's big lights, there's hundreds of supporters, you know, they're chanting. and I thought, well. Okay, you know, we're going to keep going And we did until we didn't What was it then? What did you had you seen him that way before? Had you had that? Never Never when President Biden finally stepped down and you said, you wrote your book. He said, Jillie, I had no choice What was your reaction then? from that debate to that moment. I was really looking for Joe because he had been a public servant for over fifty years. for his career to end On such a negative note. I was heartbroken for him when he got out, I mean, People were saying he was a hero for stepping down, for giving up everything and sort of passing the torch I felt I felt really sad for him You know, when you love somebody and they go through something like that You feel their pain. I mean, you just You know, you can't help but be heartbroken Did he wish he'd done it earlier or did he feel that was the right time? know that he wished he had done it earlier. it would just sort of unfolded. You know, he lost the support of the Democratic Party and He knew he couldn't go on. so he did the right thing. He stepped down. I can't imagine how hard it is to dedicate your life to your country and your people and then Yeah, that be the way to go out you know, we we see it in in places where there are no stakes, like when a when a coach of a sports team leaves and they were losing and they didn't win the championship and it's like, okay, whatever. like that that' peopleople make that out to be really, really sad and different. Yeah. And so to compare it to these stakes and this scale and this responsibility and dedication feels like such a hard thing to do and I can imagine he really needed you then because Like you said, you you are sad for him But I can't imagine how sad he was for himself and war he'd done And so he probably have relied on you a lot. You know, after forty nine years of marriage, Yeahah, he does. Yeah. We rely on each other And I believe in the book you were talking about how You were slightly upset about Kamala Harris looking for an endorsement in support almost immediately Well, I was just upset. I was just plain upset just cameame sort of overwhelming You know, but I got right out there for Kamala And I was on the campaign trail a lot. And I saw the excitement and the excitement at the convention and on the trail when I was out there working for her, campaigning for her I honestly believe she was going to win. And I was actually shocked. Um I write in my book, it was like the next morning I was, you know, went into the kitchen at the White House. I was making coffee, feeding Willow And my phone rang and I just thought she had one And someone called me and said,, did you see the news They didn't even have to tell me the news. I knew. And I ran into the bedroom and I said, Joe, wake up. know, I was like vibe in the. Wake up. Wh didn't you tell me He said, yeah She lost Did you feel she was gonna win I'll give you my honest answer. spend a lot of time on TikTok and for anyone who spends a lot of time on TikTok, it was pretty clear she wouldn't win Oh really? That was my take. Yeah. So that's where I should go the next time. Yeah ye' Yeah d and what the he they're doing Literally on. I was re on TikTok. Yeahah, I was I was living the campaign throw on TikTok and it's more of a sense you got from seeing the level of support that the opposition had but her crowds were so big and the energy. I mean, you saw online then yes the people who don't know The people are going to go and vote. It's almost like the people online who vote and the scale at which The support was there for President Trump was pretty crazy. It was like it was insane to look at actually in the buildup even. Yeah. And I was like, wow, this is big. L you just see posts that just had An insane amount of likes and comments and engagement that was all pro Yeah for Trump. and just wasn't Yeah, you know, monitoring that. I was monitoring the crowds and their response and And I guess that was my barometer. Yeah, of course, of course. No. and that's what's so interesting is that I think politics has been completely transformed by social media. Absolutely. And the impact of all of these apps and how followings are galvanized, how messaging is coming across. I mean, with most of, you know, millennia and Gen Z generations getting there news through social media Yeah. It's you know, it's starting to become such a a pivital place and such a scary place for of this as well. I was going to say, like how are these young people supposed to tell what's true and not true. Like that's what worries me. You can't, Eespecially now, I mean, you add AI into the mix in social media. You have no idea what's real And it's really hard because there's no controls on what's real and what's not real It's not marked. you don't know So do you think there should be government regulation? I think there needs to be for news for sure But I don't know how you control that because Everyone's a news corp at this point And so How do you actually even control something like that when anyone anywhere in the world can upload something and it looks real and it looks like it makes sense. I can't imagine it to be easy And you don't want to sense of free speech. So yeah, it's a very, very fine balance. I don't know how you do it. Yeah, I looked up something on the january sixth insurrection It was all positive and I was like, what You know, and I and I said Can you give me the you know, the truth about this? Because they painted such a rosy picture of what happened? And we saw what happened. I mean, we watched it on the TV. We saw them Smashing the windows of the Capitol, but they put such a positive spin on I thought where were they getting drawing the information or who was controlling? Was that an AI search or a goog? It was it was on ChatQBT. Oh wow. So look it up and see how I would take a look Yeah I' do thaton As soon as we finished it. I was going say, obviously I got I had the fortune of interviewing yourself and President Biden just just a month ago at History talalks And the president was in such good spirits. I mean, he was we spent time backstage. Yeah. He was wonderful as always. We had a great conversation together. We went on stage. He felt so well, how is he? How is he doing? He's doing okay. He does have stage four cancer It has metastasized to his bones. He will forever have cancer. He will forever be on medicine. And he's eighty three. So you put that mix in. So yes, he's still working. he's writing his book He's traveling, he's speaking u He's a little more tired M I've seen him slow down. I mean cancer. really takes a toll And u every family in America Has someone in their family with cancer whatever form it takes And um And I think's it's really been kind of a cruel blow. It's the worst. It's the worst if anyone's lost anyone that they love through cancer, which I have, it's the worst. It's terrible to watch. And as you said, it's long term. it's not going anywhere.. Yeah, I was shocked at how amazingly present he was, knowing knowing those ut Yeah. was strong. He was yeah. He's strong. He's resilient And it's just U so unfortunate. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through that. It's I can't imagine on top of everything else how how painful that is Everybody's trying to do their part in helping and, you know, like my Naomi is our oldest grandchild said, Nan, I want to come and, you know bring my son, Willie and stay with you for a month and , you know, help you out and I mean, just it's just been a really Nice thing Hey everyone, It's Cal Pen, host of EarsSay, the Audible and IHart Audioobook Club. This week on the podcast. I'm sitting down with divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel Seek The Traiter's Sun. It's a sci fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted My first book was Divergent. and when that came out, like Bezz was so popular, I think it attracted like mostly positivity, but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge And I think It was like critiques of things I liked when I was like You know, I was twenty three and I wrote this book and it had all my like dorky little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those things. And so for the rest of my career, steered away from those little things alike make you feel pleasure when you read. but I also was like saying no to these parts to myself that I then was like, sccrew it. Yeah. So that's this book. Listen to EarsSay, the audible and IHart audiobook cllub on the IiHart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts Summer is a gift a gift of days that last a little longer, a brighter state of mind So giveift yourself a new Kia at the Kia Summer Sticker sales event, Epecially tacked vehicles including the Sorrento, Sportage, Carnival, as well as the Nurohybrid All backed by a ten year one hundred thousand mile limited powertrain warranty. So the gift of summer can keep on giving for summers to come. Kia, Movement that inspires. Call eight hundred thir three three four J for details host Jafree event and seven six twenty six to deealer for warranty details. This is Ashley I from the Almost Aamous podcast. Can I be honest for a second? Some mornings I look in the mirror and I think Why do I look this tired? Puffiness around the eyes, dullness, because sometimes stress starts showing up on your face before you even realize it. And that's why I've been loving this holistic goddess organic castor oil roll on with Frankincense. No crazy chemicals, no expensive treatments. It's just organic castor oil, Frankincense and this rose quartz roller that feels so good on tired stress skin I look for anything that can depuff me and this really did. my under eyes look brighter, My face looked way more refreshed. It's almost like my face just exhaled. So try the Holistic goddess orrganic Hastard oil roll on with Frankincense yourself. Use my promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley for fifteen percent off Promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley. I wanted to go back to the opening line of the book where you say once you lose a child, nothing can hurt you And I thought, wow, that's a really emphatic way to begin a book. Why was it important to start there After we lost Beo, be nothing worse in life than to lose a child I didn't believe Bo was going to die. I just kept praying and praying and praying and I just felt like God would never take him with glioblastoma, which is what Bao had. We tried everything. I mean every trial, every medicine operations and the doctors kept saying, this could turn around Any moment this could turn around, this could turn around And I remember how sicky was getting and all the things he was going through, and it was so horrible to watch. I can remember the day he died, that morning, the doctors called us into the room in Malter Reed And they said Things are getting pretty bad But This could turn around breathe this sigh of relief. like Okay, he could live. He really could live And then we walked out, there were about eight docks. and We took a couple steps outside the room And one of the doctors turned around and said, stop. The doctors and said Tell the Bidens the truth go back in that room. and tell the Bidens the truth And u, We went back in And they said, We think Bow's going to die today Honestly, I don't think there's anything worse going through that Filies like really spiraled. I mean, it was just so hard on everybody. And so I think once we went through that, like anything anybody said against Joe or did or No matter how mean at Godd or cruel It was like buddy You can't touch us. I mean, we're just We're reselling it Anything worse than losing Bow. And I still feel that way haveard the President say that You never met Bo, right? I never did. no, no, no, but thought you may have. No, I wish I did. I wish I did way love the way you both speak. Yeah the way you both speak about him. and I've hadard President Biden say that, you know, he should have been president andes. That's why he's doing. I mean, that's kind of what we thought, you know, that it wasn't going to be Joe. it was going to be Beo. Beo was just, I mean, he's all the best parts of Joe How do you even begin to live with that level of grief One day at a time. I know it sounds so cliche There were days when, you know, I just felt like I couldn't get through the day telling you amount of kindness that people showed toward us People didn't give up. It wasn't like they said, I'm sorry, you lost your son. It was like every day sending me a text something by the front door every day, every week. and not just like for that moment that week at the funeral My true friends. for months. and months and months because you never get over it I mean, to this day, When I wake up, I mean, the first thing I do is say a prayer for Bow And I always say you never know what's behind someone's smile. Even during Bow's illness, I was teaching full time at NoOVA and I think maybe one teacher knew what I was going through One of my friends, but no one else because I would Sometimes go to the hospital early in the morning and then teach and then go to the hospital. Joe was working every day as vice president. Very few people knew You know, people said, Ohh, you kept it secret, you kept it secret. well They forget. I mean, he and Hallie had two children we couldn't let this out and have my My grandchildren hear this. I mean, they were already dealing with his illness. They saw him in the hospital every day. they saw him when he was home. We just couldn't Damn hurt in that way. We just it was too much. Yeah. Too much for them as little children I mean, on one side you have the grief of bow and then you have dealing with the public scrutiny, especially around Hunter. and I wonder how do you How do you navigate supporting a family member who's struggling with addiction. It was tough, Jay becausecause half the time we didn't know where he was. He would be going from rehab to rehab. Then we wouldn't hear from him for like a couple weeks and the kids his daughters kept Where's Daddy? Wh's Daddy? Have you heard from Daddy? you know We didn't know where he was or how to find him or he wasn't communicating with us So I flew someone in to do an intervention with him And it took a long time for me to even get him to come to the house And as soon as he walked in He saw what was going on