Reflecting on a Life Well Lived

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That's orderlymeds d. com slash podcast. orrderlymeds dot com slash podcast Because every new season is an opportunity to take the next step forward Compounded medications are not FDA approved, eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider. Individual results may vary see website for details If you want to find a stress free way to buy your next car, start at Carmax and shop your way. If you want to browse with confidence, get preree qualified online with no impact on your credit score and shop cars within your budget From luxury cars to family rides Carmax has options for almost every price range, including more than twenty five thousand cars priced under twenty five thousand dollars. So hey, w to get started? Just head to cararmax dot com for details and get pre qualified today Want to drive Carmax Hey everybody, I'm Bobby Bones. Today we're talking about Thomas Red and the soundtrack to Life Tour. For over a decade, Thomas Red has delivered more than twenty number one hits and sold out tours. Inspired by his family and his Nashville roots, he's created songs that have become the soundtrack to our lives. fromrom Dia happappy Man to lifeife Changes, You've heard his songs playing at life special moments. Now it's time to hear them live Round up your friends to catch Thomas Rretett on the soundtrack to Life Tour Get your tickets now at liive nation. com. This episode is for the people who've been hustling. who've been running who've been trying to keep up who've been optimizing, grinding, performing, and who are starting to suspect quietly that they are running themselves into the ground I want to talk to you. about rest they're not the kind you'reinking of Not the kind you can buy, not the kind that fits in a weekend the deeper kind. kind that actually changes the way you live. Because here's the thing You can find your purpose, you can do meaningful work, you can love your job, you can try and provide for your family. you can build something real Still, if you don't learn this part It will all collapse on you was You will collapse in the middle of it and not even remember why you started. So let's get into it Let's talk about what hustle culture actually is. and let's start by being honest about what we're actually fighting Husle culture is not just a set of behaviors It's not just working too much It's something deeper and stranger than that. It's an identity. It's a way of proving to yourself T your parents, to the people you grew up around to the algorithm that you deserve to take up space And until you understand that, you will not be able to put it down. Because you cannot rest your way out of a problem that is fundamentally about worth Let me say that again because I think it's the whole episode in one line cannot rest your way out of a problem that is fundamentally about work Most people who are trapped in hustle culture are not trapped because they love working. They're trapped because somewhere along the way, they learned that being productive was the price of being lovable being valuable being safe. They learned that if they stopped moving, something bad would happen They'd be exposed or replaced or left behind, or maybe just have to feel something they've been out running for a long time If that lands for you sit with it Don't push it away We'll come back to it Now, let me name a few of the specific lies Hustle Culture tells Because they're worth pulling apart one by one Line number one More work equals more results This isn't just wrong, it's measurably wrong The research has been clear for decades. After a certain number of hours per week, your output doesn't go up It goes down You make more mistakes, you make worse decisions, you damage relationships that you will spend years trying to repair You producce work that you'd have caught the floors in if you weren't exhausted The hustle myth tells you that the person working ninety hours a week is twice as productive as the person working forty five The truth is, they're often less productive and they're definitely less creative, wise and less pleasant to work with. They just look like they're producing more because they're visibly suffering. and we've been trained to mistake visible suffering. the value Line number two Busy equals important There's an entire performance economy built around looking busy posting your five AM routine announcing how slammed you are, eating lunch at your desk while making sure people see you eating lunch at your desk. None of this is worked theater' performance and the audience is mostly yourself A lot of busyiness is just anxiety wearing a productivity coat It's the avoidance of stillness dressed up as ambition Real important work is often done quietly by people who have time to think Line number three. Rest is a reward you earn This is the most insidious one The idea that rest is something you get after you've been productive enough How many times have you said Once I do this, I deserve rest Once I do this, then I'll allow myself to take a break. Rest isn't a reward. Rest is a requirement You don't reward your phone for being used all day by plugging it in You plug it in because if you don't, it dies. That's not a reward. That's how the thing works You are a biological organism You require sleep, food, movement, connection and stillness These are not luxuries These are not earned They're the baseline conditions under which you function as a human being Treating them as optional is not toughness It's a slow form of self harm Dressed up as discipline Line number four If you're not getting ahead You're falling behind This is the lie that keeps people running long after they've forgotten where they were going It assumes life is a race It assumes there is a finish line It assumes that people around you are the competition and that standing still equals losing. None of that is true Life is not a race There's no finish line There's only the moment you're in The people you think you're racing against are mostly running on the same treadmall you are wondering when they'll get to stop You are not falling behind You're exactly where you are And the most radical thing you can do in a culture that keeps trying to convince you otherwise is to stop running Look around And notice that the ground was always solid Okay. So if hustle culture is built on lies What's the truth What does real rest look like People when they think of rest Think of one of two things. They think of a vacation, a week off somewhere, the big reset orr they think of collapse Watch a show, couch, scroll, order food, just shut down for a few hours I have done both And both of those had their place but neither of them is real rest The vacation is recovery from depletion. Collapse is anesthesia Real rest is something else entirely It's something you build into the structure of your life so that you don't keep oscillating between exhaustion and shutdown Let me give you a more useful frame Rest isn't a single thing. There are at least seven different kinds of rest you actually need, and most people are only doing one or two of them and wondering why they still feel tired all the time Physical rest is sleep but it's also stillness Lying down without your phone Letting your body actually be a body, not a device you're operating Mental rest is the absence of input. No podcast, no book No conversation Just letting your mind run idle If you can't remember the last time you sat in silence for ten minutes without reaching for your phone, You have not had mental rest in a long time Emotional rest is the freedom to not perform the space where you don't have to be cheerful or composed or strong or interesting where you can be whatever you actually are Most adults haven't had this in years They're always managing how they appear even with their closest people Sensory rest Darkness Quiet The absence of screens and notifications Your nervous system was not designed to process this much stimulation It's running on overdrive, whether you notice or not Social rest. Time away from people. who requires something from you and time with people don't want anything from you. There's a difference between a draining social interaction and a refueling one. probably know which is which The Q question is whether you've structured your life around that knowledge Creative rest is letting yourself be the audience inststead of the performer walking through a beautiful place Looking at something made by someone with care. Letting your soul be fed instead of harvested Spiritual rest is the sense that you belong to something larger than your own striving For some people, that's faith. For some it's nature The Smmit service The summititss log. Whatever it is, it's the antidote to the loneliness feeleing like everything depends on you Look at that list Be honest Which of those have you been getting? Which have you been pretending you don't need Most burnout is not from working too hard It's from being deficient in three or four of those seven for years Now here's the second important distinction Rest is not the same as consumption. This is a thing that almost no one says out loud, but it has to be said Crolling is not rest. Watching three episodes of anything apart from this podcast is not best. Drinking is no rest. Eating until you can't feel anything is not rest These things are what we do when we're depleted. But they don't refill us They just numb us long enough to face the next day they leave us feeling worse. Real rest is often subtraction not addition It is less notot more less important less stimulation. less performance less doing And here's why most people avoid it in the silence when there's nothing distracting you Things you've been running from start to surface Grief. The dissatisfaction Questions you don't w want to answer about your life That's not a reason to avoid rest That's a reason to rest more those things stillill there whether you faced them or not. cost of not facing them paying for it in your body in your relationships, in your slowly disappearing sense of self The body knows you can lie to yourself for years about being fine. Your nervous system is keeping a more accurate record And eventually will hand you the bill So if rest is so important And most people when pressed would agree that it is Why don't we do it Why is it so hard to actually stop? Let me name the real obstacles Because if we don't name them, we'll just feel guilty for not resting adddd that to the po obstacle number one. Your identity is built on producing If you've spent twenty years being the one who gets things done You don't know who you are when you're not doing them Resting doesn't just feel uncomfortable It feels like a small death It feels like you're disappearing. Because for as long as you can remember Your value has been measured in output And without output, what are you This is the deep work. realalizing that you're a human being with worth that exists prior to anything you produce that you would still matter if you got nothing done today People who actually love you do not love you because of your resume Most people will not do this work They will just keep producing until something forces them to stop, usually their body, sometimes their family, sometimes a crisis they didn't see coming Wait for the forcing Ostacle two You're afraid of falling behind You look around Everyone seems to be doing more Everyone seems to be ahead The algorithm keeps showing you people who woke up earlier, wrote a book Better, ran a marathon faster, and built a company that sold for more before lunch And you think, if I rest I'll lose ground. I'll never get back Two things to say about this One, most of what you're seeing online is curated, performed or outright made up Real life is not happening at the pace for almost anyone, including the people pretending it is Number two The cost of not resting is also lost ground It just doesn't show up in a way you can post about It shows up as the brilliant idea you didn't have because you were too tired. The relationship that quietly drifted because you weren't present illness that took six months to recover from The years you spent running that you can never get back. You are losing ground either way Qestion is kindind of ground You're willing to lose. Obstacle three Rest reveals what you've been avoiding This is the one no one talks about but it's maybe the truest one. The reason a lot of people stay busy is that busyness is a beautiful, socially rewarded form of disassociation You don't have to feel anything. You don't have to look at anything You don't have to ask whether the life you're building is the life you actually want. Slowdown for a weekend with no plans, no input and no distructions And watch what services Grief you ha' grie Conversations you've been avoiding Dreams you buried. The distractions you've been suppressing This is why people say they want rest and then sabotage it The massage and then cancel it They take the vacation and check email twice a day They sit down to meditate and immediately remember an urgent thing they have to do The avoidance is not random The avoidance is the point If this is you And it has been me Please hear this Things you're avoiding are still there They're operating in the background of every day of your life onlyn difference is whether you face them. or whether they keep stealing your piece from underneath the floorboards Ostacle four You know who taught you to feel guilty about resting? Probably someone who is themselves trapped in hustle culture taught you because they didn't know any other way Maybe a parent who never stopped working mayaybe a culture that praised exhaustion. Maybe a voice in your own head that you've never questioned. Guilt about rest is a learned response It is not a moral truth You can unlearn it But you have to be willing to feel it without obeying it. to rest while feeling guilty to not let the guilt be the deciding vote The first few times you do this It will feel terrible Tenth time. Less so By the hundredth, it becomes possible to rest without the inner voice screaming at you. It's not laziness That's freedom O schoolore five. You haven't been given permission. A lot of people are quietly waiting for someone to come along and say It's okay You can stop. You've done enough. A boss, a parent, a partner, a culture. Nobody is coming. No one is coming to give you permission to rest. No one is coming to praise you to take a break permission has to come from you And it has to come from inside and it has to come now. Not when the project is done, not when the kids are older, not when you can afford it now The version of you that thinks you can earn your way to permission has been waiting for fifteen years and is going to keep waiting forever Just give it to yourself O loud if you have to Today, I'm allowed to rest Today, I'm allowed to rest. Say it until you start to believe it Hey everyone, It's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and IHart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Will Wheaton, who played Gordy Le Chance in Stand By Me forty years ago and now narrates Stephen King's The Body, the novella that inspired it all We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix and the recording booth, and why the friendships you have at twelve might be the most important ones you'll ever have I know Gordia Lchance. I am Gordia Lachance. Like I mean, even when I was a little kid, I was Gordia Lachance when I didn't know it Listen to ears say the Audible and IHart Audioobook Club on the IHart Radio app or wherever you get your podcast. Summer is here, which means we all want to look and feel our best. A GLP one may be right for you. Visit orderlymeds. com to learn more about which GLP one you could be eligible for. Getting started is fast, easy and happens virtually through telemedicine from licensed professionals Check it out for yourself. Go to orderlymeds d. com slash podcast. That's orderlymeds d. com slash podcast. Taking care of yourself feels great. ComA medications are not FDA approved eligibility required and determined by a licensed provider individual results may vary your website for details. This is Ashley I from the Almost famamous podcast. Can I be honest for a second? Some mornings I look in the mirror and I think, whyy do I look this tired? Puffiness around the eyes, dullness? because sometimes stress starts showing up on your face before you even realize it. And that's why I've been loving this holistic goddess organic casor oil rollan with frankincense. No crazy chemicals, no expensive treatments, it's just organic Pastter oil Frankincense in this roseQartz roller that feels so good on tired stressed skin. I look for anything that can depuff me and this really did. my under eyes look brighter. My face looked way more refreshed. It's almost like my face just exhaled. So try the Holistic godess organic Hastter oil roll on with Frankincense yourself. Use my promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley for fifteen percent off. promo code Ashley at tryhg dot com slash Ashley Okay. Practical type Because I don't want this episode to be one more thing you nod along to and then go back to running yourself into the ground Here's how you actually stop One. trying to manage time. managing energy Time is fixed Eergy is not You can have a four hour day that produces more meaningful work than a fourteen hour day if those four hours are done at full power and the fourteen are done at twenty percent tracking just for a week When in the day you actually have energy When you do your best thinking, when you crash, Then build your most important work into your peak windows and stop trying to grind through the troughs Trying to do hard work When you're depleted It's not virtuous wasteful. You're using a sledgehammer to drive a nail and wondering why the wall keeps breaking One of my favorite stories is from Stephen Cully. He tells the story of two tree cutters The first tree cutter cuts one tree every single day And in thirty days, he's cut thirty trees The second wood cutter spends one day shoppening the next day cutting The next day sharpening The next day cutting even though The second woodcutter only cut trees for fifteen days. cut more trees If you use the same blunt instrument every single day, doesn't create more If your brain is tired If your body is fatigued If your mind is overused or overworked You are not creating more You're actually trying to do more with much less shhp in your mind Sharpen your buddy sharpen your energy Two, build the rhythms before you need them The biggest mistake people make with rest is treating it as something you do when you're already broken By then it takes weeks to recover and you'll just go right back to the same pattern Instead, build rest into the rhythm of your life so depletion never gets that deep Daily rhythms, weekly rhythms, seasonal rhythms Daily. At least one real break in the middle of the day where you stop Don't look at a screen. Clear end to the workday or wind down before sleep Please do this At least one full day where you do not work Not mostly don't work. Don't work seasonally do this At least once a year a real stretch of time off meaneaning actually off. notot checking in. A week where the world keeps spinning without you The world will, by the way It always does The fact that you're afraid to test it Itself is a sign of how badly you need it Step number three G at saying no Most overworked people don't have a productivity problem They have a boundary problem They take on too much because they don't know how to decline Be they don't want to disappploint because they're afraid of what people will think. Every yes is a no to something else. Every yes to someone else is a no to yourself. When you say yes to one more meeting, you're saying no to thinking When you're saying yes to one more project, you're saying no to your family, your sleep, your health The trade is real, whether you see it or not Practice saying thank you. Contact D right now. No explanation No long story. Just a sentence It will feel terrible for the first ten times, I promise you But it will get easier People who actually respect you will respect you more for it. Step four, audit your inputs Rest is not just what you stop doing. It's also what you stop letting in How much news do you actually need to see How many notifications do you actually need to receive How many people in your feed are leaving you feeling worse, smaller, or more anxious How many group chats are draining you that you could quietly leave You Don't owe anyone access to you You don't have to be reachable at all hours. You don't need to know what is happening everywhere all of the time. Constant input.