Manshoon Reveals His Identity

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It's dungeons in Dragons time. it is eve of fourourth of July, our two hundred fiftieth anniversary as a country And we are on vacation, but we have a great episode because Tim Woods is back in studio. Absolutely. Nick Tarany is back in studio and we have White. Dungeon and Dragons with I'll just say it, one of the best plot twists ever. Uh and it's a great, great show And it's all brought to you this this show is brought to you by Better Help We talk about mental health more openly now, but asking for help can still feel hard And Better Hope's latest research confirms it Better Hel's twenty twenty six state of Stigma repeport surveyed two thousand Americans and revealed that eighty five percent of Americans believe getting support is wise. 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That's better Help HELP com slash p empty. Okay, let's go Welcome to Part of My T, presented by Draft Kings. The crrown is yours. Okay, before we get to Dungeon and Dragons, we have an emergency podcast because Jayen Brown has been traded from the Boston Celtics. Hank's worst nightmare. Actually know. Hanks Hanks nightmare was Jalen Brown getting traded from the Boston Celtics. Hank's worst nightmare happened when he found out it was to the Philadelphia seventy sixers. eight teeenam PFT that none of us had on the radar as a potential one. hundred to one hundred to one a dri sports book they had the the worst odds in the NBA to land Jalen Brown at one hundred to one too say it was shocking and it came in On Wednesday evening, PFT was in U Santa Clair, which I want to hear about, you know, at the end of this to watch US men's national team play play Bosia and Herzegvinia. I actually texted side notes smass, right What? That's why we're doing this podcast. I texted PFT right after the trade happened. I said it is now the most must win ever because if if the US men's national team gives Hank one deflection point where he can come on here and be like, Bosnia, Bosnia and Bosnia, I'll never forgive our soccer team. So it happens Max and Hank are at Max's wedding. Max is at his rehearsal dinner Hank is on an island full of Dentes, literally an island that's just full of Dentes And Jayen Brown has been traded to Philadelphia Sers for basically nothing PFD Well, I was going to say it I don't think it is his worst, worst nightmare because they didn't give up Hugo or Baylor Shirearman. So they hung on to both those guys Some silver lining on that one And yeah, I was just thinking about this the second that it happened, I was just thinking, oh my God There's there's like a ninety nine percent chance that as Max is getting married He's going to be thinking about Hank. and Hank's going to be in in the crowd just like pissed off looking at them It's this the city of Brotherly Love Island So there's like nine how many Delente brothers So there there's like three Delente brothers and then a bunch of Delente cousins that are probably all just like ravenous Sixers fans And Hank is just living through hell right now. and I love it. Yeah, I actually think I almost sexted Dave and was like you might it might be like a saving Private Ryan situation where you have to go chopper him off of this island Like you have to bring him back because he can't. He can't handle this many Bing bongs and I told I actually hey I have because because I'm such a dear friend of yours. I have a spin zone list for you later, but I did say to you right away. They not having to like have a small talk with everyone, like have to do a different topic a small talk with all these people that Max is in Max's life is actually kind of a bonus for you. You can just talk Jayen Brown with literally every single person at this wedding I'm's that's wrong. That's that's that's that's not a spin zone that's No that is no, that's exactly what a spinzone is. Over one on spin zone. That's exactly what a spin zone is. Over one on spinzone. All All right, so U, Where do you want to start? Max, do you want toize is your wedding? Is is today your wedding day What? No, no, the wedding day, wedding day is tomorrow Max already got he already got married. Yeah. Would you say Hank He said, you said, where do we want to start? Hank just says, I want to finish He' start with you You said to us on Sunday, you're like I guess what? Jim Brown's not going to get traded because he he in my head, he has gone back to Brad Steven said, Hey, let's be adults. You try to trade me It's all good. It's not going to happen and I think If you hadd been traded for Jonnest, that would have been awesome for you. Instead he got traded for Paul George Yeah, some's coming. There's something going on here. I said it to Max on the bowat yesterday. I was like, Jam Bown I was getting traded. I could just feel it. I could feel it coming. The fact that he went to the Sixers like it I I cannot ride my head around it. It' so it's so insane, so frustrating Frustrating. I feel like the Paul Jordge thing is there's like They might be doing another trade. There's another move coming, but regardless, regardless of what this ends up Do for the Celtics with the picks They make another trade You cannot trade Jalen Brown to your in division rival. like that cannot happen Yeah. that was that was a big moment for you to say the R word about the Sixers and Celtics. Yeah, hard R. He hard Re That was You you've never looked at the Sixers as a rival. They beat us in the playoffs. that's Yeah. of turn. That's very true. Heank, why why are you on mute P Why are you so so quiet? Can you not hear me No, you sound like this, Ay. It's prettyty you didn't have a red eye last night I've literally just I've been awake for about twenty six hours. I'm probably going to throw up at some point during this podcast U hey, why did you do this now Like why why not last year if you want to trade them? orr like in a week when we're not on vacation Yeah I don't know. I don't know why why they didn't do that. I don't know why they took the offer that they did. I think there's reports that like it was personersonal. I don't I don't really know. they they do not value Jayen Brown the way that do or the way other fans do. like I don't they they seem to think that Paul George can get you similar, which is like stats. It's analytics. I don't agree with. I talked lot shit about Paul George. I don't think he's good. I think he's old and he's a fucking. Dinosaur like Analyics people are saying that you can get similar production from Paul George He only has another year left in his contract and then you can, you know, use that and get more assets next year, which you would not be able to do with Je Ban. I don't believe that. I'm not like I'm not going to spin this like positively like oh, this is a good trade because of and then just use analytics. But that's what analytics people are doing. Hey, okay, so here's something that happened, Hank. We found, I think we found the GM who sees Jillen Brown is the seventh best player on a team. It was Brad Stehvens. Good on That was a good one. Thanks right. Heank, I have a question. Okay, PFT He's not p not big cat but I just can't can't you can't help yourself. having a greatreen time. Hey, did you see the fun sats though they like this might be a spin zone for you Jalen Brown has the second worst plus minus of any five time all star over the past ten years So he's got actually a negative plus minus average And also, The Celtics win more games without Jalen Brown than when he's playing Yeah. The Celtics have won without so last year. With with Jayen Brown They won sixty six percent of their games Without them, they went eighty percent Ye before that, with Jail and Brown, they won seventy three percent of their games. Without them, they won seventy nine. What's what's a sample size on lead Well,ah this year was eight and two without Joan Brown. Okay. Yeah. That year is fifteen and four with Okay, that's. All right, I'll put it this way. There his entire career U withith Jalen Brown, there are two hundred and sixty three and one and thirty one That's sixty seven percent Without brown, there's sixty and twenty six, seventy percent H S might be better with them Yeah Big cat Is it true that you left the bar last night because you were scared to talk to Max brothers? I waited for Max to show up. He showed up and then I waited for his brothers to show up for like an hour We were watching the I was trying to watch the soccer game as crazy as that sounds. Hell yes. O that we were in was completely packed. The group we' with. no one was watching the game I waited for like an hour for Double D to come down. There were nowhere to be found and I went and watchhed the second half in bed. It was also so we're doing this podcast said at eight AM. I've been drinking for thirteteenh straight hours Okay, but I waited. I wanted to I wanted to not even come out, but I waited I waited for them to get back from the rehearsal dinner. Max came back and then his brothers no showed. So that's not on me. Okay Max, can we talk you said that I don't know. What do you a tweet? That was a tweet. That was a tweet From who were there was a reporting of tweets that weren't coming from me. Where's memes? I don't know where Memes is. That's a good question.. 'causeuse he was the one that was tweeting it. He tweeted more times yesterday than he did for the fucking next parade and final Game Flix combined All right, Max. Wh Disney? I don't know. What would we say Text him? Max. canan we talk about your side of this? You found out in your during your rehearsal dinner Let's start with this Does your fiance Did your fiance see the video where you said, quote, I'd rather be with Hank in the hotel right now than with her at the at the with her with her is a incorrect statement. I did not say it' her I did say I wish I was with Hank right now in the hotel. Yeah in that hotel. It was a great It was a great moment. It was a great moment that I would have loved to have shared with my friend Henry Bad as I thought And it was bad. when they came back from the rehearsal dinner. His wife's dad came up to me and was like, Yeah, I'm a huge shel fan this is really bad. I was like, you were living my name there. Like you just had he just had to sit in the h little dinner With the three of them, which I would imagine just like laughing and like being like There was a lot of laughing in that. I was the one that got to break the news. I think it was the greatest news breaking I've ever had in my life. Like I looked at. I had shhams notifications on And I likeike just shams like the only Twitter account that I had notifications on for yesterday. And I got the alert on my phone. it's like I was like my my brain was like, o, Jalen Brown traded. Wow, that's crazy. And then I saw sixers And I still thought it was a fake tweet evenven though it was a Twitter notification, I was like, This can't be real. Someone had to have hacked his account So I was just like, oh my God, oh my god, oh my Godd. And I was telling the table. I was like, wait, let me conf let me confirm this. let me confirm this And then for me to actually break the news, I was like, Jalen Brown traded To the Sixers The pop that I got from that table is incredibly absolutely incredible. Better than your wedding I haven't had the wedding yet the wedding is gonna to be better. I love my wife. The way is tough to tell me It's gonna be tough to time. It was a hell of a moment. and then It was just me my brothers and my dad going through like every tweet being like there has to be a catch. There has to be a catch. What's going on here This can't this can't be it This can't be the full deal It is or Paul Georgia two first round picks. Well it's alost too good of a deal. It's crazy. The swap could be the clippers' pick. Is that I don't understand the swap. The swap is the most confusing thing I've I tried to read it like five times this morning. I think it probably will be the cllippers bigig. Okay That's a that's a very good asset We've been we've been holding on to that asset for the right moment. to pair that asset with Paul George who many have said is the worst contract in the NBA and bring back Jalen Brown seems No. he didn say there was another contract that was worse. Yeah. I I can't remember what that contract is. Yeah think one. Y your boy Wendy didn't help you this this time, hy because he said that he said that for Paulorge for the Sixers to get off of Paul George's contract They would have had to trade a first round pick So essentially they just got the Sixers just got Jillen Brown for free. Like they would have had to do that just to get rid of Paul George's contract They somehow got Jalen Brown on top of it Shout out Mike Gantzy's doing a hell of a job to start his tenure in Philadelphia. Hank, have you have you allowed yourself to think like Maybe Brad Stevens has a secret plan Yeah, no, that's that's all I've been saying to myself. I don't know what that plan is. How wild How wild have you allowed yourself to like daydream about what the secret plan might be? Like have you thought M mayaybe Yokich. There's I just hope there's another move coming. Yokich would be awome I don't think that's possible. but I didn't think Jen Brg going trade to the Ss was possible. So I don't think it's happening this year Yeah. I think this I think the Selfics are basically saying this year we're resetting and then next year maybe. Yokage could definitely be in the be in the realm of possibility. Heank, how many times did you read the tweet to be like, how is this real? Be that that was the same everyone was like, what the fuck? How is this? I think we that right away in the video. I was like this is not real. Like I was hammered and I was like, this is just not Everything was happening all once and it was like, this is not real.' not on this fucking island and like Jill Brown is not going to be playing for this likeike the picture of him in the Sixers jersey, like is so preposterous. I like can't even believe it. And it's like, I'm not even I'm so much more mad about Jyen Brown likeike the Paul Jordoring is like that's going to bother me when they're playing next year.'t even h I't really like set in as much as it's just like how is he on the Sixers? Like the Paul Jeorgeing will come when the season starts You have delayed onset Paul George. likeike you haven't even registered Paul George. and then night one of the NBACason and Paul George is going to be wearing the Celtics jersey and you're going to be like, oh, fuck This happened Why don't these teams tweet any of these trades It might not be real. Are you still thinking that it's not going to happen? I don't know. I never know. That's where you're at right now because the Celix team account hasn't tweeted, it could just be fake I just don't I don't get the Sickers haven't tweeted it either. I don't understand it. This all might be just a figment of Sham's imagination. Boy, what Yeah, I don't know How many brains no No, I don't think so I think they do it when it's officially done. likeike they still have to Like I don't think it's officially been done T You still have a chance. I always think they broke the news to Duce Oh man Heank. we talk about that yes. Probably Jiss hate him, like It's not like I think they the long years of Jason Taton versus Jalen Brown were probably overstated. They won a championship together But I mean, if Jason it is his franchise, if he wanted him, he could have kept them, right Wouldn't you agree, Hank it's the salary like it's's he was Right P like it was like a personal thing. It was. But it's also crazy that like they could have gotten They could have made a move for Yanis They missed out on Y But you wouldn't give up Hugo. Hugo's big It's like a You just like held onto that and like run with it to the fucking hills and it's like really like not There hasn't been like a solid solid fact that it was like I dollars was the one reason I tradedap Is Sam talked about that. He reported it and discuss it pretty they if they put in Hugo, he would have come to Boston. No, he said that the trade got held up for two reasons. One because the Celtics didn't want to part with their young pieces that they looked at very favorably like Shireman and Hugo And then two because Haslam is anything How no stars demanding trades because of what happened to Miles Garrett. So he's like maybe I don't want maybe I don't want watch Jyen Brown after all So right. So what you think it was more Jaln Brown or more fucking Hugo Gonzalez I mean, they reported that the Celtics did not want to part with with Hugo andailer They also reported the Hm thing, which was probably more prevalent to the trade. But in what PFT is saying though, what if Ham's like I don't want two stars in Hugo and Jalen Brown because then they could both ask out Right. Right do one. Right, Right Zach, you're here, emergency pide. You were here on time. What's up, dude? Where's Mmes ph on how we this med vice? How Zach, did you sleep last night Where is me? I gu. Zach, when you saw it, were you shocked her, you you I feel like you were the one of the first people to respond and you were like ready to go if the emergency pod button was being hit I was watching it pretty heavily yesday. Yeah I wasn't sure I feel like it could happen anytime I feel crazy traed Nobody deserves to get fleeced on an island. so That's stough., you know. So you're saying fleicing? I mean yeah, confirmed and I't I don't I'm not an educated guy when it comes to contracts or players. Yep. I agree. That's why I got ahead of it. but yeah Paul George, that's tough. Heank, you're being mean, Hank, you're being me. No Hank is Heank's been on a masterclass right now. You need to get the mic in front of him th no more because he keeps saying shit and I can't hear it Heank, I got a question are we sure that Jill and Brown iss going to be a good fit for the sixers? I'm not a sex' guy so I don't know What about how it But how do you think Paul George is going to fit with youugo ike He'll be good. I think he's a vet He's, you know, he can stay healthy. He can he can contribute. He played well and against the Celtics in the playoffs. you'll forget that Yeah, he actually was awesome in that series So if you can, you know, if you can stay healthy You can have similar production than Jalen Brown. How was it meeting all me? I want to talk about Mitchell Rws. D wa what are you saying? How How was meeting Max's friends and everyone on this island yesterday I met him briefly. they were fine. Like it was it was they were all they were all pretty good. He left he was my High school friends were out to dinner late last night, so he has not gotten the full do Today's you have a pking friend that's coming into that's coming in today Like a die die hard Boston guy coming in today. So he's going to have one one reinforcement. You guys are going to be like Bndock Saints going back to back just spinning at the wedding party Okay, hey, do you want my spin zones No. I's talk about soccer because they're going to be stupid and I'm not going to like them. I want. All right, BFD, I'll tell you All right, so the first one is pretty simple that likeike I said to Hank, when you go to a wedding and you are Hank is going to a wedding. We all love Max that is he knows not a ton of Max' like family and friends. You knows his brothers from the Max Bachelor P and stuff Hank is a famous guy. let's just be honest. So he's going to have to do small talk. It was going to be a lot of like, Hey, how you doing? you know, Cank's great at this, but now Small talk completely solved. It's going to be Paul George, Bing Bong. U Jalen Brown pink Bong So please that's good. please. That's good, hank Allreat. D hank, hereere's a good spin zone. This is actually only this is only the second worst trade that Paul George has been involved in So that It's not the worst. stillill SGA Right? Yeah. so That's something to hang your hat on Um Hank, what are we doing right now? Waiting for memMes to join the call podcasting, right You just traded you just got rid of a streamer and got a podcaster I yeah. That's I mean, come on Baul George you I think you're just as upset about Baul George being on this team than Jalen Brown being off. Yeah. I've talked a lot shit about po. I that help me? There'sast. There's one thing that me and my brothers were talking about at the rehearsal dinner where we found out that Jalen Brown got traded to the sixixers We kept talking about how in game seven We just kept saying Jen Jaen Brown Re good player. Jen Brown, Re good player. We said it like fifty times during that game. Yeah. And then last night we just kept looking at each other when there was like a little bit of silence to be like Jaalen Brown really good player. He really good player. It did. We've already established that. We established that at your bachelor party. Jayen Brown Re really good player Um Okay you don't like the podcast or over streamer thing Okay How much are the future podcast is the past Okay about this one H This this trade is so bad that maybe that maybe people will stop asking Brad Stevens to say no. Everyone in basketball will stop being like, we need Brad Stevens to coach or GMR team Brastfedens has got more cooking. Okay's not done yet. Okay. And then you're gonna have to take all that back. Well, no, I mean, I'm just saying this is good. like you it's probably annoying that people keep saying his name every time this comes up, right You You No, I say he's got to say no, but like other you know, different basketball schools and everything just like, hey, you gott to make Brats even say no, I don't think I've ever said that. Paul George's dog. Do you remember Paul George's dog? I don't know I was trying to look. I think his dog's name is Kobe. I don't know if his dog's still alive, but his dog, the famous picture where his dog was te bagging, Paul George Um, just his balls out everywhere on that couch I was thinking now that Kind of a famous dog on the Celtics We can get him a hank dog toy and help sell more of those, Spin zone Okay, Okay I tell you like one Okay All right, All right. All right, last spin zone because obviously you don't like this, but maybe Pank Maybe this is finally rock bottom this year How so Well, I mean, weve you get upset when we bring this up, but like this is not been the best year Sports wise Lve. Super Bowl I mean going the Patris made the suuperowl. The Celiics won the number two seat with their best player injured won the number two seat. They they were people st early. That's going to be a shhadeen. you're going to have to make a quote for that one. All right, can I list it? Hey, can then you can just tell me maybe this is not Rck Bottom. Super Bowl loss, live golf canceled. Celtics lose to the Sixers while we're at Match Max's bachelor party Soccer becomes huge and the US men's team beats your Bosnia Herzegovinians. Buzzer Peter Loss Having to golf is a lefty with a righty handicap Nicks title Jalen Brown USA beat Dominican Republic That's a lot, Hank Yeah. It's been bad So this could be it. this could be the bottom And then what? Do you go up? only place to go is up I don't know. I'm scared that ' then could go it could be worse S go up What did if you traded Hugo Oh my God know No, if you trade Hugo, just you have to you have to quit the Celtics Oh man Okay, anythingthing else think or you Is there anything that's making you like is it a little bit better that Max is like almost reached that point where he's like a little bit uncomfortable with how bad this fleecing is like he almost You can tell he feels bad for you I have not felt that at all really Okay. H it He's just been laughing in my face. than I have I have been very respectful. I've been very respectful for it video last time you were just Well that that was that was real didn some was excited. He knew dude. I was excited. There were so many people at the bar for it's a joy this's a joyous time if the Celtics real quick. if the Celtics rebuild and u and they get back to like the NBA finals, let's say in like twenty twenty nine. Let's say they went another another chip in twenty twenty nine. That's a different team. likeike the Cps is completely different without without Joean Brown I don't know that you could consider the Celtics to ever even be eligible for team of the twenty twenty s because it's going to be two different iterations of the team It's the team of the twenty twenties, right Yeah, but I mean like totally different team without without Joan Brown. But it's the team Not the core. I't know, justust something that I thought about wanted to get your feedback on Also, I was wondering if you thought that maybe Like this could have all been solved if you get like Joe Mizoua and a bunch of guys out, maybe they go out to Tascanos Table for six You get, you know, Brad Stevens, Chisholm I didn't think this clearly three hour dinner. I think you can fix it case. Yeah, I don't think that's the case. I think Something was going on with Jill Brown and Brad Stehvens was not going to get fixed and they knew that Hank, have you thought about wearing white to Max's wedding day because people are going to want to talk to you more than Max or his bride No Okay, you should think about that. Hank does just have a He just has a body double this entire week. him and Jack McCarthy got the exact same outfits They wore the same shirt last night. they have another shirt that's the same, and then they have the same shoit for the wedding. We don't know if it' the same shit, but probably is the same. Okay, so you could just send him in, but heank you should You You actually I think Max, I'm I'm to speak on your behalf, Max. I think Hank should be allowed to go Table to table during the dinner party and greet everyone because Like, cut out the middle man, E everyone's gonna want to talk to you anyway He's gonna be the bell of the ball. Yeah. You should wear a wedding dress and just go table to table and be like, thank you so much for coming. Would you like to talk about the Jill and Brown and Paul George trade? Natur Thank comeing, you got knowome Yeah, you would be you would be bad as CFT I would He has to leave. He doesn to leave the island He's thinking about it right now. He's like I would have had to leave that. Hank would have would have been like swimming. It would have been escapeed from Alcatraz. He would just swam back to to America. I don't even know how I don't know where St. Mar knit' I'm thinking about getting a flight there right now I I have an open seat if you would like to come PFT Can I come this guy h it on his lap. Of course. Yeah, we'll go share Oh man. All right, anything else, Hank, whereere's Bemes? Mitchell Robs me Wh' justs That's a good point by Hank. Mitchell Robinson. why? Yeah's call him the greatest basketball player of all time. I want to talk to him about it. I actually think that's a smart move for the Celtics. Yeah, ye. If you shoot bunch of threes get a bunch of rebounds Also, the Lakers are just They're doing like the plot to Hoosers. I don't really understand And it's very funny. Walker Kessler for a lot of money Austin Reeves resigned. Wh else did they get? there's It was the scrappiest twenty minutes in the history of NBA free agency. likeike twenty minutes they got three of these guys and they don't and they don't own, I think like another pick for seven years now. They just went all in for the which I mean, I guess they did there's the famous they they sat down with Luca and showed them a binder last year basasically being like, hey, I also saw very funny because LeBron has said that he's the reports have been out there that LeBron is going to go anywhere. likeike he he's going to be he's open to be being courted by every team And then The sppurs are officially out because they signed Tobias Harris. So they have their Lebron. They don't need it. Y So it's good U All right, anythingthing else and then talk real quick PFT Hank, you got anything else This is is bad Max, Wh'ses? Where's memames I've I've had a good time. I've had a good time. I don't know Jayalen Brown's going fit, but I'm excited to see this journey. I I've heard from Hank that he's such a good player and that He's such a good guy that you want to have on your team. I'm excited that he's on my team That's all I have that's the last thing I will say. Did you get yelled at at all yesterday Zero, zero. She she was so My wife was so excited about how excited me and my brothers were. Oh, that's awesome That's a great one That's great. It will so. She She saw how sad Hank was. I don't even know if I don't even think Hank saw her last night Oh,'s sorry. Inter dad, you guys don't care aboutank. Your poor father Okayt her dad isn't bigger more hell than I was. Yeah. That's true. All right, I just text to mees ask him where he is. All right, PFT, you were at the game last night. It was awesome. Well's the biggest eye roll ever What's the matter, Hank? Oh paod. We should paod tomorrow too. It just eye roll and then collapse off screen. Oh my go Okay, real quick. like in three minutes, tell us Yeah, it was an awesome game. We dominated the ref. it's bullshit Fa needs to change the rule. that we need to we need to lobby FIFA agree that I'm talking about the Balligan Rd card that he got. Yeah, he scored a great goal. Tillman had a great free kick and I've been saying like Tillman's do. He was going to score eventually. That was an awesome free kick that he had, But the red card is really what's kind of overshadowing what should be just like an awesome win That is the I think we've won three games in nineteen days And we've won three World Cup games in the previous twenty four years Yeah, I saw this pretty good worldoke up. It's also we've won three games by u Multiple goals and in the previous rest of the history of US men's National team, I think we won three World Cup games by multiple goals. So it's great. Yeah Yeah, it's been great. But you know, overshadowing the whole thing is the Balagan Rd card, which is bullshit VAR was used when it shouldn't be used and they had they looked at a slow mo replay and they thought that they could like ascribe intent or violent conduct to like something that happened in like a split second Bullshit right card And I think it's just a terrible rule that if you get a red card from a game, that you're also suspended for the next game. You're already serving your punishment by by sitting out the rest of that game and your team has to go down one player. whyy do you have to s out the next game. And also I don't think that it should have been Rd card. and I think that Fish should overturn it. I think that if you've got a guy that is the reigning FIFA Pace prize holder This is why he has that type of reard or that type of power. I hope that President Trump gets on the phone with FIFA. and tells them, hey, let Balligan play. We need that we need the Texas tech Soreceby judge. That's the guy. Yeah Yeah, yeah. just whatever, whatever we can do, we need to do because We're, u We can beat Belgium. We can But it's going to be way way harder without Balligan because he is the like probably the best pure striker that we've ever had. I know it's crazy to say that after just like four games, but u in terms of just like being a pure striker and a finisher He's the best that we've had. mayaybe, you know, You could say Clint Timpsy, but he was never really like a true striker. but We need him. We need him because Pppy looks like Bambi trying to walk on ice for the first time. That's not going to work out. No. So I don't know what else we do, but it was an awesome time. I saw the substation up close. I gott to say That substation is really fucking big It video Yeah. Yeah. It's way bigger than I thought it would be. It cover it goes like half the stadium Um That's So now I might be a substation truther now. Yeah, I mean, I saw your video. it looked massive. Looked like an incredible game. One of those games was like I was sitting on my couch just being like, fuck yeah. They tried to screw us. The free kick was incredible. Yeah. Hank, you agree Yeah, Fur kick was cool. All right. that's it's a Sunday. we'll be back U Actually no, Hank and Max will not be there because you guys will be in flight. You guys will be joining us. We're going to be going to Tahoe for Chill week, but will the rest of us will be back in studio And now we have what two hours. Oh, Mimes just texted back. He was on a flight That's where MmMes was Do that makes sense, right? That's a valid excuse. Valid. Would you agree, Hank Yeah. Okay. G for that at any point last night but That true We were planning this last night. He did not mention that at all. PFT just asked for a comment on Mitchell Robinson for Habaca. All right, let's do that Sunday night. Oh, o. Bing Bing bong, Bing bong. You thought you were gonna go to work a beautiful island and get away from everything and get away from Mr. Bing Bong. but Mr. Bing Bong is stronger than ever. You'll never get him to retire No matter how many mash holes. S mr. Bing Bang sucks And I know it's all Hanky Sans from Massachusetts or as we called them, massholes, which is a play on words of the anus. Bing Bang, No joking. mister Bing Bang was stronger than ever. I gotta tell you, I was feeling down about mister Bing Bong. Look, I'm walcking my beautiful dog. Get outside, Hankie, You're a burner, tweet tweet. I was really down on Mr. Bing Bong and then I went to that parade And yes, I wasn't wearing a Nick jersey. My daughter didn't pack the Aobbe jersey that I bought her and she wanted to wear it because she was taking pictures to the Gam And all I had was a PBS shirt, which is sort of The antithesis of James Dolan, but whatever, man, that's what I had it. I support public broadcasting. And so to a lot of people in Boston, so you shouldn't have been so critical of that mass holes. Um Okay, let me just say this is Come here, let me show you my beautiful dogs set this up sorry Hey, it's Mis. Bing Bong, He's here for you Those a great dog. Great dog. Oh man, they're so good. Look these beautifulgs. Oh, look at those dogs. Beautiful dog. Look at this That's a beautiful dog, Jer But you know what? I will say I am going to defend Hank here. I don't know what's going to happen with this trade. You know, on paper. Yes, it looks like Boston lost Jayen Brown could be Could be entering James Harden territory with this dude, you know J just have to think about Hank. like Hank, don't be don't be totally bummed out. I didn't hear this whole conversation. before, but like don't be totally bummed out. like Jayen Brown, that was some crazy shit he was saying Um Oh the end of last season and I just I don't know. I wouldn't um I wouldn't be super depressed yet, Hank M That's good. That's nice. He is on an island full of Delentes, Jerry Guys, can you believe someone agreed to marry Max Delente? I'm so happy for him. It's like I'm here. Oh sorry, sorry. Max, She's a beautiful. L serious. like no mister Bing Bong for a second, Gorgeous You're good have beautiful babies. It's you're lucky to have her. Don't Don't Don't don't pull anything that other early barstool employees pulled. Okay, we won't go there. Oh you say don't blow it. like Don't blow it. I was just I didn't really write anything for this because I got a text from U Big cat last night, but Can I start with the ACE No, I'm kidding? I No, I'm joking why j Don't don't don't, I don't want any fingers pointed who set this up. Don't do that. Okay. He should be m.en to be my one mister Bing Bong just wants to talk to Hank for a second. Hank mister Bing Bong here, hear I hear you're at at the Delente wedding. That's beautiful. You know that song? You gott to get to the church on time. If you got to get in a car and speed and get Max to the church on time, you know, if you get pulled over, you could whip out your phone and you could offer a Faceetime with bllockman Bing Bong just like Rassini did when she got pulled over, Yeah Yeah. Oh b. It's so beautiful It's so beautiful that you're on a deserted island. It's a resort. Yeah. Just like an Arizona resort where that reporter bre and your coach blew it for no reason. She was a very capable reporter. No reason to do all that. Bing bong, find a rooftop, interlock Bingies and one of the bridesmaids Becauseuse you blow it, Bing bang What else can I touch on Oh Jerry I have one last thing because we got we got to go in a second. but he can you can you stop can you stop doing podcasts and giving stories that we would like on this show? I mean, when when you go on a podcast and say that your wife smells like shit I would like you to say that on'm part of my take I was on the comedy podcast. I have a movie coming out. Hey this weekend, if you're like with a family this weekend, AWs, it's great Summer last Rort. In theaters. It's on Tuby No, it's not in theaters. It's a streaming movie. Hank, you Hven eice. Oh my God, do you remember when Hank said? I'm doing a tour of a movie I did forty years ago. Thank you fuck me up. Honestly, you have the audacity to say like mister Bing Bong is a jerk and all this stuff. The shit, I have never commented on your career. That was cutting shit. mister Bing Bong will never die hang. I ask I was trying to help you promote. I said, where can people go see this movie? That was not How was that shitting He was she was asking if it was indeed f You better hope. I was trying to great lot of peoples get to theatater to go theater movie. But it's on Tube and Greg, you watch it better hope Yeah All the people that I hope and pray. Tuby is a growth engine, bro. I learned that when I was out with them. It's a growth engine. It's a huge company. It's owned by the Fox broadcasting compomany you Son of a Gun. You better hope that the Patriots get win in seven years 'cause mis. Bringbong is gonna be so up inside of you. I'm gonna be so up inside of you, Hank Sorry, there's like a cyclist going past me. I'm gonna be so up inside of you, hope. It's gonna be funny. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be balls deep. I'm gonna shave right before so you get that rash all over your anus and I' gonna I come inside of you there. You want some stuff for this podcast? I'm got come inside of you Rond on. You're going to get it. You're going to get what I have. I'm going to give it to you How dare you? How dare you keepeing this a growth engine It's called Summmer's Last Resort AWLs It's called Summerers's Last Resort. It's a great movie. I did a podcast. We were talking about deodorant. I said my wife experimented with crystal deodorant Be my wife is a little holistic and sort of clean. and that the crystal deodorant didn't really work. And I made a joke. And then theework the I was about to say the New York Times But The New York Post did an article that I said my wife smelled. and then I really like I'm a couplees therapy. I have to go to a couples therapy right now. Okay, well, Jerry, thank you for joining us.ideank H Hank don't don't don't be too down. I don't think this is such a bad thing. You know, let let Brad Stevens cook a little bit. I know everybody was getting on you, but but these trades Something was up. I I have no idea what was happening. So the AWLs had to explain to me what a second apron was yesterday. So shit is going on like Just like chill out, God, it was so funny. I don't know if anybody saw on the everythingthing app I wrote Can somebody explain the second apron if you were explaining it to Hank and they all like were saying. It's as if you wanted to see more Totsies, but you had to pay for the extra tootsies. It was really funny. A Ay Wells are the best All right Heavy for, Jerry, we love you. for Jerry. All right, let's kick it to Dungeon and Dragons and Tim Woods U and then we'll see everyone Sunday night. Okay, we are back. It is time for our Very very, very special guest. Tim Woods Dungeon and Dragons part How many times have we done this? Oh gosh, this might be our tenth game together or something like that. I'm taking a guess. I'm taking a guess but something like ten or twelve or somewhere around there. Okay, always great to see you, Tim. Al Why don't you just take it away and then we can introduce who everyone is dressed as for the podcast? Absolutely, one hundred percent. So I am very excited because we're going to be picking up today's adventure kind of from where we left off. We had defeated the five evil Doom Raiders, the evil adventurerures who are the masterminds of the crime syndicate known as the Zentarum, the trainwind brothers. Now this is where I did want to double check Was it train wind or trade wind? I believe it' brothers. I think I think we're the trade wind. Absolutely was three, one, two, three, Train win. He said train wind. D has said train wind. Yes,'reking Mike ack. Train win. Train wind. I wasn't calling you Tray wind this whole time E Y that that's yeah, that's of us can play too. So which one are? Plural? Train win? I think it's train win. I think it' tra. I think it's T R E apostrophe Y N N train win like a train elect So are we the trade are we trading the wind or are we on a train with wind? Train wind? We're on a train with win. Train win, either we're using it as a locomotive or We're train win. D it. what could train Whatse could train mean Either train Or training training like training, lifting weights. Okay. Is there a third def? Is there a third definition of train Yeah, like when there's like a lopsided amount of people in like a sexual experience, but that's not we're doing. I do believe this name originated when we put Zach on the spot to come up with a name in five seconds. so and I I did listen back and I think it was train wind originally. one hundred percent. So I am a train wind. There was a reveal last session that Norm in fact was not norm, but rather loud train wind to the counterpart and a half brother to silent train wind, our cleric in the group There was some argument first of all about what your family tree exactly was, and then we discovered that you two share a mother but have different fathers and I believe loud train which was also raised by wolves. is where we ls correct. My dad was an alpha be. a monster. Your dad was a cock and your mother our mother, excuse me, covered you in honey and treated you like a baby And one of us has respect for our sweet mother, and it feels like one of us doesn't. Oh, no, I hate I hate our mom. She's a fucking. She gave us life. I want her to die. W birth does. I'm gonna you know what's gonna to happen this episode? I'm going to insert you back into our mother's womb and then kill both of you You're to put me back in to recco. Yeah. Yeah. Point of clarification is their mother alive or dead? So actually at the end of last e, spirit of the mother appear. Oh That doesn't necessarily mean she's dead, but it highly implies that she might dead. So you have to dig up the corpse and then list magic exists in the world of D andD. We can make anything happen if we really want to one hundred percent A Okay, so we're the train win. All right, so do you want to say what we are everyveryone go down the line And then we'll let Tim take us away Absolutely ax Hippomaximus is in max. That wasn't a fat joke That wasn't a fat joke That was It was a very powerful Duid who had been once part of our party in hypo maximus one hundred has a hypo maximus she. a sheet. yous it's over there actually right behind I left it over there unfortunately. But if you want to grab your sheet max you're more welcome to jump. It wasasn't a fat joke. was literally just that's his name circumstance. I'll just say before we introduce our costumes Al also, of course we've got everybody else in the group besides the Trainwin B brothers, ourur barbarian and our cleric. we have got Erlich R Noome Warlock. We have got Wayne our Hildorf Bard, and we have Greg with two G's, our human palette and rounding out the Dandy party. And of course, our costumes are entirely different. Tim, I got a question. Is there possib like my character maybe in this most recent off season has taken mayaybe a real keen interest into becoming a wizard Oh, you could certainly. So ever since Cake, the wizard had to leave our party, we've been without a wizard, really? like studying maybe like you be studying a wizard was curious.bs was curious one hundred percent wasiz adjacent absolutely by wizardly. And so you absolutely can be Branching or as we would call in DDee multiglassing into wizard. Mass she's a bad combo, Bard and Wizard work well together,? nice. Okay, so what are you neick? Y. Z. Zach brought me a prince with a cigarette Okay. Yes, I'm a prince a cigarette or Duke. Duke, okay? Yeah. Okay. Dke brotherhood. No Duke of Sussex jokes, you, please. No no, no doing it P Andrew You can make those. Okay. ye Okay. Eact I'm the I'm the White Ranger today Oower Ranger, ye S my m and things Sean Avery. h shown Beauty U Thanks, Zack. I appreciate it Zag. I'm we'mll put the mask on for this one O subzero Mortal calledbat. I don't know I'm talking like Bane. But yeah, I'm subzero and Zack also got me bow and arrow. and a dagger. A dagger too for stabbing. Yeah we morere like close quarters? Yeah, close quarters. so there's no way. Yeah, that didn't happen. Alarm. No, it happened. Oh my God. scre it. You're never gonna get a new app. Zach, do you have to answer math problems? And did you just typed sixty for four plus two.. So' the m proble Well the first one was five plus five And this is the hardest of equations. The was four plus two any types six Zach. How are you gonna get these right? how many lo do you have? right now? I didn't They're all the way. I'll let you roll for. Zach, what were the questions here?ome math and ye's early math. It's early math but's early in the day so you get fired and they were single digits, but I might have round it up It's like instead of a cup of coffee, you have to answer basic math problems to wake you up. Yes. Yeah. Do you feel more awake after four plus two Yeah, jump straight into the textbook. You you going You don't up. Okay, I'm mister Incredible Dad. And I'm going to face Fuck Zack during this episode. I'm also Lord Tradewin AK. Norm, the human barbarian I am Erlich Warlock and I am Deadpool U ack got me a mask with you look like Spider Man? No mouth. Yeah Are you swing I'm dead Pool. What's the difference? Ted Balls funonny Spiderm Man's not? No What happened to your face? I tried to cut open something so I could talk because my face ack on me a costing with no mouth. Why'd you give him a Spider Man cos in their mouth? Some of the superheroes they have immersive masks. You can hear through them, but I didn't think I should have been thinking more about audio in the costume shop. Okay. Double swwords, maybe. I'm also interested in becoming a wizard today. Absolutely. Wor certainly branch into wizards. I'll admit that's slightly redundant, but it's still a good choice. What one of us only one of us can become a wizard. No, both of you can become a wizard, just wararlocks are already pretty good at wizards stuff. So you already kind of have that experience. they're al ahead of from the wth. Aren't they from the north Aren't they like almost like like Celtics? Yeah. Yeah, I would say so. Okay, so they're probably more into that than they are being a wizard. They're probably just making fun of the wizard by trying to become a wizard. So we we have two guys who are curious about becoming wizards Wiz curious. The Tradewind B brothers In a fight to the death. And then Nick, I think he said or sorry, Greg said beforehand that he's interested in getting a beard officially. A beard officially. Is like a husband beard? Yeah, ye an or gonna f So ye that's what he would like one hundred percent. Absolutely. Yes What hundred percent. So this is the regathering, the return of our adventuring party, which we officially named last session. I want to highlight we are the six Chinese boy Whisperers. Ver cunning re because I were desperately hoping that we would wonder where that came makes sense this time around. I wrote it down. The logic was also that we would say we were the six Chinese boy Whisperers because That way when they tried to count they'd assuming one skillet out there kind of loose in the wild then they would always be looking for the. Wh boy whisperers though. I would love to know that. I assumed it was something that I wasn't getting. Okay. Absolutely. This is gonna reflect badly on me if I totally mishheard it, and that's what got into my head. But I think that's the name we land. No' tough one to misinterpret. Yeah. Yeah. had a lot of questions, but I chose to internalize it. We whisper at the volume of a boy Oh, that's what it was. Yeah That' obviously what it would mean. Yeah. a weak little boy's voice whispering. And of course, we named ourselves because there was a rival adventuring party who we had to go up against. They were stealing our credit. These doom raaiders were absolute assholes, and that's why we murdered them without any remorse, killing all of these agents who run essentially the crime syndicate in the city of Waterdep. Fortunately, and as our opportunity for today for maybe gathering more treasure and power, we have discovered that there is one leader of this crime syndicate who has not been eliminated and indeed is the guild master, the one who is in charge of the entire crime syndicate. Now I am especially excited to introduce this classic D and D villain because I didn't make him up. H name is Lord Manhun and he is a powerful wizard incidentally. So those who might be was curious would certainly know that Lord Manhun is traveling the planes right now away from the city, but he has somewhere in the city A base at headquarters. And if somebody were able to get his spellbook, indeed, not only would they deprive Lord Manshoun of his power, but they would become a great wizard like him.. So this was already going to be the adventure the two interers have L expressing their desire to become wizards indndeed, stealing his spellbook would not only defeat this enemy, but also empower you, but only one person the spell book just to be clear. Now, the real reason I'm excited to introduce Manhoun is because the D and D creators who made Lord Manshoon, I suspect had some influences that they were really excited to work into the game. Lord Manshoun runs a crime syndicate of essentially ninjas and he's a powerful wizard. And this is what Lord Manshoon looks like. Wow. So you tell me whether or not this guy is your classic shredder I always think of Lord Manschoon as being a very D and Ds shredder kind of villain character. And I know that Shredder has been a very meaningful part of our campaign over the years in many different ways. So the danger is, Lord Manschoun is so powerful. Look at that hog on Lord Manshoon. Look at the hog I't even know Th a very important part of a wizard's armor arsenal, I will say. You gott to protect every part of your body, one hundred percent. And the Luucador mask, very shhredder like is That probablybably my favorite feature. There's new artwork of Manshoon in the current edition and he's very like vampire Edward Cullen. I don't like it. I like old school Manshoon with his Sredder mask. And so we do know that if Manshoon were discovever that we were going after his spellbook, he would come back to the city maybe using powerful teleportation magic and I will war that when I run this adventure for the AWLs, I tell them do not try to fight Lord Manhoon because they're all playing the game at level two. They can't be Lord Manshoon. He's like level twenty But we're level seven. And so in theory, if we wanted to try to take down Lord Man Shoon, you could. But the real goal here is to get his spellbook 'cause we've got several whiz curious characters for sure who could benefit from that. And it certainly weakens him as a villain. So that'd be the smart and easy way to do it. but I will admit Some groups have defeated Man Son. But only through bullshit shenanigans. No one's actually beatating him in a you what I would call a slugout fight you come up with clever solutions for defeating him Like if you tell him like hey if you lose, you'll get a better draft pick, then you might actually tank and try to Absolutely one hundred percent.. So you can use any strategy you want. The world of D and D is open to your interpretation and how you want to approach this problem. And of course, the first problem we have is we don't know where his headquarters is to get the spepellbook So we're going to need to do some information gathering. We're going need to maybe gather supplies or something in the city that we are in. This is the city of Waterdeep. It's huge. It's the King's Landing or the Los Angeles. It's just like spread out like a vast metropolis. Anything you need to do or buy or get, you could get in this city. But as we usually do, to see who goes first in our game, we are going to roll the almighty twenty sided die And whoever rolls highest will get to go first, each of us has a dexterity modifier, but I'll apply that for us to see what turn order we're going to go in Yeah hank how did you do on your room? Oh Just one. Just one D twenty. one good ate got Kate got a six and tried to say it was a nine. And the lin's always at the bottom or there's a dot dot Yeahsar that's at the bottom. Yeah. So it's a six plus two. you just got an eight Erk. I got a ten. Okay. And you have also a plus two. so you just got a twelve alld Train wind one And how did Wayne the Bard I got a one becoming wizard. I got one I got a one you also have a plus two bonus, but that will only put you at a three just overall percent. Absolutely. And how did how about silent train wind? seven, seven. Okay. Unfortunately, you have a minus one because dexterity isn't your focus. You have lots of other ability scores that you kind of gooseed up. So with a you got a seven, a six that is going to put you solidly between Erlich and Wayne four silent Train Wind. and Greg with two G's. I roll a three. Three. alsoso with a minus one, unfortunately, that is gonna put you at a two for Greg with two G's. Absolutely. So I'd like to just point out real quick that silent Train Wind is so committed to being silent Train wind that he just deleted the entire alarm app off his phone. I just watched him Oh no Was that the entire app that you deleted? I didn't want to take any ches. Yeah. can you get that? you gott to get that off. I'll get it back later today. Have you done that before? Yes. Okaykay. As the fastest way to just make sure nothing goes off. That's you can turn your alarm off off as you delete the app. If you got just to make sure no more interruptions, you just get it out of there. We go to the iCloud later.ot it Absolutely Now we will point out Loud Trade when that puts you at the top of an initiative going first. There is a warning I would offer that barbarians are not necessarily the best at gathering information in town unless you're picking somebody up and shaking them down for information. Very often what barbarians want to do is rush into danger and start fighting things immediately. The problem is we don't know where Lord Manhunon' secret base is in the city Okay, so Lord Manchon could be literally anywhere He could be we in fact know, he's not in the city right now. He's traveling the planes. but if we were to break into his mansion, it's possible that there are alarms that might lure him to our location. Well, I would like to look under every rock and make sure that we do not leave any stone unturned With that said, I would like to take Silent trade win and gut him like a pig and search and see if Manhoon is somewhere inside of his body. You certainly can. I would point out that you have a weapon. Could I just ask on your character sheet, what is I think youve a great sword. I'm pretty sure you have a great sword. No. That is unfortunately the perfect weapon for gutning somebody. Just end to end. I w to slice him open And like we'll just, you know,ll pee around in there. ilent train. Would it be safe to assume you are not volunteering for this? Are you trying to resist him doing this or are you are you laying down and letting him do this? He's not the guy we're looking for is not in me. You feel that exactly what you would say if he was in you. You Is there a man in you? Yeah There's zero min in me right now. We don't even have to gut me. But we don't have to use kn. How could you tell the difference? Unless you have had been Yeah I wouldn't be walking around heavyer if I had a fool man It it like I feel kind of like you're the expert. Yeah. If I had a full man inside me, right now I think I would know what about empty? You guys got to take my word for this. wizards shes shift, Like they could be like a small. be tr. The last time you had a man ins you what it feel like. Was it uncomfortable? This would be the first time and what I'm telling you guys is I think I would realize the first time. No, but maybe you've just had a man inside of you all along. you were born? Yeah. Also if Lord manan shoots inside of you, wouldn't he then say as your human body out here with us being like, Hey guys, I'm not in here We don't have to use a knife. He's very powerful. Yeah because you're inside of you Without For the team if we need to gut me, we can gut me. Is there an X ray machine we can go to? In theory, there are means of detecting magic that is inside of bodies.'s fine. There will be a wizard can do that I don't want to derail the whole show right away to get my vengeance for our cunt mother. I will I will you. Instead will submit to Putting silent trade when through an MRI and CAT scan Absolutely. Just to make sure the mentstin's not in there. Colonoscopy. Also full cavity. Y As you bring him to the magical X ray wizards who do this kind of thing all the time in the city, please roll for me a D twenty This is going to be unfortunately a persuasion, Jck, but you still have like, I think a plus one on this. I have rolled a four. fourour. Okay, with a five, they are going to try to scan him as best they can. Oh no Just roll me one D twenty, Zach. I'm gonna leave it up to the roll the die And you want to sc to work I I' With a three, there's like a shadow inside somethinghing's inside and they can't figure out exactly what? It's not a full grown man, but there is like magic inside of it right now.'s It's clear exactly what it is. There's almost like some kind of like foggy magical shadow inside What part of the body? T the stomach the stomach or like uteral area.uts You saying I got the magic in me. Yeah, you do have the magic in you one hundred percent. It's backackfire this is that I You have cancer, and I just got you early diagnosis. You're lucky. You're gonna survive. We caught it early. Yeah You have only used section so far, you could go to these wizards and be like check them again. Yeah check them again.ck again again, seeee if you can be like, you guys didn't do a good job the first time. That's a sixteen He with a sixteen plus one seventeen. They scan again. It was a smudge on the lens. They messed up Unfortunately with that role before they didn't put forth their best effort. You almost got gutted over nothing. It was just a smudge on the little telescope thing I'm happ. I'm happy. figured Listen You said Tim, I'm not as a barbarian. I'm not some who can collect a lot of information. So me going first was always going to be a problem. But at least we check one box. he is not in silent trade with. You ever ruled out one of the possible hiding haces of Mhoon A Aolutely. You're welcome. I would like to say if the role was there, I would have got gutted for the team. Shane I didn't have to do that but I would have got gutted for the team. It sounded like you really didn't want to though You sounded pretty resistant to. You sounded like you were trying to hide the man inside you He said it could be man or magic. Yeah, it was also a smudge. smudge And that will bring us to Erlly. Great trucks. Absolutely, very successful production.une bound to not be there Okay, quick break from Dungeon and Dragons talk to you about our good friends at Twisted Te Summer's here and so is the Twisted Tea Smmer party pack Listen, it's fourth of July weekend Perfect time to go out and get a twisted tea summer party pack Twisted teas is a refreshing, hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and fiberscent alcohol They also have a new summer party pack as a brand new twisted lemonade. It's refreshing hard lemonade madeade with real lemons. It's only available in their new party pack. so grab it while you can whether you're hanging out at the bar, hitting the lake, beach for a weekend or day drinking with friends. twisted tea is there to turn your day up a notch good time, a great time. keepeep the good times going all day and all summer long. 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They're the absolute animal crackers are like the best snack that you can get. Yeah,'s it's the absolute best and we love it. So and guess what Well actually know, we' we're taping this ad before we know what happened. You know what? We won the knockout round because we're Rees's country. That's where we are. We're the best country. We're the best candy. Reese' Absolutely The best. And go get a Rees' today. Reese is the official candy partner of Barstool sports. Go get Reese' wherever you shop and try those Reese's animal crackers and also, like I said, get the Reese's cup marshmallow because it is basically a s'more. it's an upgraded s'more. it's a better s'ore because it's Rhesus. So go today, get a Rhesus. Okay, now back to Dungeon and Dragons. All right, I would like to like since we're with the wizards right now right? Yeah, there are some wizards around. we're kind of like in a section of the magical school where they do like magical MRIs and stuff So I would like to like go up to them and ask where we can get more information on the guy were searching for, but then like secretly like kind of ask them if they have any internships or like other positions one hundred percent. Absolutely. It did not even occur to me. Th is the perfect people to ask about Lord Manchon, a powerful wizard of evil. So go ahead and roll you get a plus three on persuasion, but I will warn if you're willing to be intimidating, I happen to know you have a plus six.'m trying to woo. no I'm trying to woo. Like I'm trying to wizards wizards. Yeah, I'ming to be recruited. I might be wrong. I think you actually have a plus four on this naturally. So go ahead and roll a D twenty plus four twenty. Wha! a natural twenty Yeah I can attest was one hundred percent. So you find some wizards around here who hear you find a really old wizard and they say, well, if you want to know about Manhoon, we got to bring out his old teacher. And this is like Dumbledore and Boldemort type stuff where it's like I remember when I thought he was good, but he turned evil and he became the leader of this crime syndicate. I should have never taught him his secrets. I can tell you notot only where his laayer is, but he will answer no fewer than three other questions that you might have about Manhoon. Now, if you don't know what questions to ask, he'll give you random facts about Manhoon, but if there's specific things you want to know about this wizard, You can ask whatever you want right now. and you can trade one of those questions to get an internship. If you trade two questions, you might get a really good deal on the internship and maybe even be higher ranking All right, so I'll do one question then And then get a really good. Yeah ably when Iimated. How much how much is Dave worth What are his motivations? Oh, interesting Manhoun is the leader of like an evil crime syndicate, veryery similar to Shredder. He wants to do crime all over and gain more and more power, but mainly the way the Zentarum, this crime syndicate, do it is through They're like the fantasy mafia. They spread from city to city, they try to lock down trade routes and then get smuggling routes set up through their connections and shady. Like they kick out all the other thieves guilds and take over the underworld, right a wizard that just wants to be traded and collected. it's Jordan Poole We have Jordan Pole. Yeahes, absolutely So that's his motivation mainly is to make money, make profit. If he thinks he can do that, he might show up at a place where he would be able to maybe make some extra money. And then so yeah, I'll use my other two two questions to elevate myself in the internship program. And then I'll just tell the rest of these guys like I got one question. I got some answers. Yes, you tell them it was a very successful information gathering, even though secretly it was very successful. You not only got an internship You got Free tuition, scholarship to Blackstaff Academy, the Wizard School. At the moment, you are the closest in the party to becoming a fully fledged wizard. I'd even give you One level of wizard right now to do a little bit of extra magic and a booster No no one else has any levels. Nobody has any wizard levels yet, except Cake is somewhere out there traveling around, but he's the only wizard we. I get a question? Yes. T cle Hey, hey, dude, you were you were with those wizards for a while. wouldould you ask them I found out what is what is what his motivations are there. He's a crime syndicate. He wants he wants money. So we got to we can we do that, right So that was your only question. You asked him a question that we didn't know We were there for a long time. We didn't know that. You had one question. You were there for thirty five minutes? Yeah, they only gave me one question. it took me a while just to get that one question H. We did see like pictures of him and everything. It seemed pretty clear that he ran a crimic. He looked like Shredder. Yeah, he looks like Shredder. Well, now we know, for sure, now we know how we can get to them And then what else did you guys talk about? Be They were really it was hard for me to get one question. I really had to to haggle it. Its that paperwork that you have in your hand. L looks like a brochure. Why you have an ID badge? No, No, that was I don't have a brochure. I'm already in. You're wearing a lamp Sar I mean that's like my mom like signed me up for like, Wizard schoolool like monthso or whatever That was a separate like side conversation. Where's your mom right now backack at home Why I'm looking at my phone right now and I'm Watching a video of Jersey Jerry interviewing all the interns at Wizard School. What the fuck? Why are you in this Like I said, like, I mean, we're not we're not together all the time. Like my mom, you know, she's been like pushing me to like try and just like, you know chase my dreams and I guess I have to go to wizard school or whatever Why do you have swim trunks? Are you going to Ben Mintince's pool? I'm going gonna miss you guys Okay so you're going to wizard school instead. afterfter this mission, though, after this mission It seems like maybe you're not gonna be completely focused on this mission though. No, this is like this is my last is my last hrack. Also feels like you wasted. You you guys know, I don't even wantan to go. Like it's not like I'd rather be with you guys. Like I'd rather just chill with you guys. It feels like you had more questions that you could have asked that would have helped us instead you I the bad guy' doing it for money. Thanksank It's also worth noting this wizard teacher is trying to cover your butt a little bit. He comes in he says, Well, you asked me just one question and then he farted and I just started cracking up. couldn't I couldn't get through the rest of the question you farted. Okay.ah That actually checks out. that checks out.f. I actually didn't think it was a fart when I heard it. I thought it was just He was sitting on a chair, he moved his legs and the gravity pulled air out It could happen to anybody. Yeah. True Good point in. And that'll bring us from Erlk's turn then to silent train wind is up now. silent train wind. What would you like to do? I will point out, you're not too shabby at gathering information, but we do now know the location of Man Sun's headquarters. If we're looking for him, that would be a place we could go to that then might set off alarms where you might show up Potentially, and it's certainly where we can find his spellbook if we're looking to gain its p Do there happen to be a recently known location of the spellbook? or we have no clue? We Oh good question. whereere in his base is the spellbook is not information we have right now. But we know at base. We do know must be at his base. He would keep it as his base. Even if he's traveling to these dangerous dimensions like the planle of Fire or the nine Hells or something like that, or maybe even heaven, where we went on one of our adventures. You can go anywhere when you're a wizard who can travel the planes So he is somewhere where it's dangerous to bring his spellbook, he's going to keep it in his base I would like to maybe see if we could Do we know if this spellbook is paper pen or is it electronic? O last question that is paper and pen and probably covered with like grizbly skin or something like that. Okay no grimoir. So we're not doing any like geolocation. We can't p or anything like that.osh, I never thought of that. You might have a scrying spell that allows you to try to pinpoint the location of this spellbook potentially using not that it has a geo tag or anything on it, but you can be like show me Manshoun spellbook in a crystal ball and kind of try to find it that way Yeah,'m not gonna give arisballri. Absolutely. one hundred percent. I happen to know clerics get a divination ability. I'm going to say you can roll a D twenty to see how effective. When you pray to your God, pound found, don't forget, you worship the God of storms pound found. and he is going to maybe answer your question if you roll really well fifteen. fififteen is The exact number I was looking for in order to get the exact location of Manshoun's spepellbook. You see a vision of two towers, one center tower and one outer tower. And sure enough, the center tower looks like it's six stories tall. It's the big, important building, but the outer tower is connected to it by a bridge, and that one only has a single door on the second story, accessible by bridge, no windows, no other doors on the ground floor or otherwise And it's at the top of that four story outer tower, the better protected of the two towers. You zoom into this room and you see a magic circle in the middle of the room. Roll me at D twenty to see if you understand what this vision is showing you You're not seeing the spell book B that's another fifteen. fifteen. withith your religion skill bonus, couldould I just ask on your sheet? I think you have like a plus. Do you have the religion skill bon chance under skills Actually probably not my mistake. I do not you would have you said you're old to sixteen, is that right O sixteen fifteen or sixteen fif six Okay with a sixteen That is just enough that you know something about this magic circle. Number one, if Man Shoon senses alarms going off in his tower, this teleportation circle is where he will show up But you also know it's been modified so that if you press the right combination of runes or maybe solve the right math problem on this like essentially alarm type situation, you could create an opening to a demip plane, a pocket dimension, and it's almost like a wizard safe. You're realizing that while there's treasure chests in this room This is the safest location, is the portal that is accessible only by this teleportation circle. If you were a wizard trying to hide a spellbook, you'd hide it in this dimensional pocket. And so you think that's what this vision is trying to tell you. We gott to get into this outer tower, get to this magic circle, and then someone with good arcana skill, which is usually a wizard is somebody who has a very good Acana skill would be able to open this up. Some of us already do have Arcana even if we are or not Wizard. It's a plane and two towers, Tim. There have been unfortunate incidents when I've run this adventure for the AWBLs where we have knocked over both of these towers unfortunately and it's a pretty regrettable But shout out. shout out, right? Jaxon he doesn't have Religion skill So that's good. Yes,' doesn't matter. We're one hundred percent. Absolutely. Yp, ye. I didn't write this part of this adventure. I pulled it from a book, but exactly you were training in Florida, right That's great o But nobody's knocking anything down in the power of religion in the name of God because I don't have the religion skill. And you would do anything for a thousand virgins Milk and honey does sound like a tasty combo, but I'm not saying, but I just don't have that skill, you know. I mean, you follow the god, pound foundound. You can decide whether pound foundound is like what their motivations might be or something like that So we were able to get the drop on the book, boys' we'll take that. got to You gott to do the math problem. As a team, I think we're pretty equipped on math. I think it's you have to go up and do the math Oh I thought it was a wizard that would unlock the It is somebody with good arcanic sk. I feel like we've got some arcanist that. Do you have some math problems for him Tim that you can just practice? I could whip up a few. I think absolutely. It was hundred percent. Yeah Aolutely. And that would be your turn then, I suppose you have a bonus action. if there's anything else you did want to do on your turn, otherwise Wayne would feel okay with that turn tim.bsollyact one hundred and twenty times four One twenty times four, so we're doing one hundred times four. So four hundred and then twenty times four. So we're doing eighty, right? So Rrady?. He's good. He's really good Andos guy knows the way That will bring us to Wayne our Hildworark Bar next Okay, And I assume you shared that information with everyone's with the entire group. Reallyice.ally chat and you're being an open book and wr letters., very nice to do that. I'm gonna disguiseself. Yes. I disguiseself a classic spell that allows you to look like somebody else. of apologies potion vibe. I'd like to disguise myself as Erwlich. Oh yeah, one hundred percent. abbsolutely. You immediately look like Erlich. And then I'd like to tell all the other wizards that I'm no longer interested in their school And in fact, I never wanted to be a wizard and I'm a fraud You absolutely can make a deception check and because you look like or like you have advantage on this. So please roll two times and take the higher number Three five five. Here's the issue you're running into. These are wizards. And so they go, well, of course, just one moment and they sort of scan you with magic and they're like, wait a minute. this is a disguiseed self spell. What do you think you're doing right now? your applicant. Let me just confirm. Yp ye, though. they rolled a seventeen to know that this was a ruse. I'm sorry to say Wayne, they did bust you. and this is this is a classic like, o Like you tried to bring in like a hugeun and like thr a metal detector.'re like, Yeah,' Are you kidding me? This was they're're really only place in the whole city that would have routine magical inspirations. actually, guess what? It was a stress test. and they passed. I was making sure that and it sounds like these wizards really have their act together now. Yes, absolutely. You know what? They are upset, Romy one persuasion check to convince them that this is a sixteen. sixteen. They're like, Hey,ait o, oh wait, so you're from the Order of watchatchful Magisters. That's like a wizard police kind of you're like, Y. So do we pass the test? Do we get a new we're trying to go from a B plus to an A on our security. Will you give us the A n?? They're bugs in the kegline. Yeah U can I can I go check out that combination that that Zack pulled up. You absolutely can't wit train What are you checking out? The combination Y. Absolutely. Combination. Cbination You are able to start heading in that direction, but it will point that as you get to the location in kind of the dock district of the city, where you see the main tower and then the attached Oer tower, you sure enough can see the outer toer has four stories and you can see the doorway on the second story. You could try to climb up onto the bridge to get into that tower, but you're also noticing one other thing because I know your character has decent perception Theoryies like irt around the tower in a perfect ring. It's almost like you see a ring of dirt and then nothing. It's clean within that perfect ring that goes exactly thirty feet out radius circle around the tower itself. As you're watching, you see a bird fly through the air,. Hit something and slide down An invisible wall of some kind. Roll me in our cana check real quick to see if you know what you're looking at That's a six. and I had plus four. Oh plus four. All you needed was a ten to get an idea of what's going on here. This is a force field dome around this tower.. You don't with a ten know how you would get through a force field dome, but someone with Acana or a wizard would be able to figure that sort of thing out Okay So and I will say that was you going with your move. you still have your bonus action if you want to do anything here or you can inspire as a Bard one of your teammates with Bardic inspiration, right Either playing the music or encouraging them. Who's up next? In theory, it is Greg up Greg. Greg, would you sing a song? Prince Greg, I'd like sing Prince Greg' song. Absolutely what song do you sing? s there's like a ring of dirt and then a hole. Yeah, so there's kind of like it's almost like there's a perfect circle around the tower where it looks like the street sweepers have been sweeping dirt up against the force field. Yeah. So there's no mystery, even though it's invisible where the force field is. You think you could walk into it and then bounce off of it. I'm thinking of like a nine iron Maybe all right, maybe just why don't you come in my dirty hole Go let's go right in that dirty hole, Greg All right, thank you. I'm inspired. Go check out that dirty hole. Come onning. Pstty nice. Without song in your heart, Greg, you absolutely feel inspired.. Thank you. It's my turn. It is now your turn, Greg, one hundred percent. I think we should a wait for somebody to walk out. Is there a lot of traffic going in and out of this tower? In and out of the tower, there seems to be no traffic. In fact, you see people moving around inside of the main tower, notot the outer tower where the spellbook is, but you can see windows on floors one, two, and three of the main tower and a front door. There's people moving around in there. I'm gonna roll to see if they've noticed anybody out there. They have not yet Someone almost looked out a window and spotted us. And this is a crime syndicate at its core? Yes, absolutely. So not a lot of traffic going to and from. and you'd bet they keep this force feel pretty secure a lot of the time. Boys, give me all your gold. Let me walk by and look vulnerable. jingle it in a person Got Absolutely. How much gold you have? You I would say even you alone have enough jangling gold in your pocket. I want like a comical large bag of gold. Okay one hundred percent not pool your money between the dragons that we've defeated and the money we got off the Doom Raiders last time, we've got well over like I would say six thousand gold pieces. If you're putting it all in one bag, that's a bag like this big with a big dollar sign. Yeah. Do Greg have any older brothers? Be I feel like the second or third brother prince is like always gets kidnapped. Those are good ones to kidnap. Wh is which is good if that's what we're looking for. Greg, it's totally up to you if you have any brothers. Certainly, they could be in the city even R she you want me have brers I think I think I think I think kidnapping, like if you're a crime syndicate, like trying to kidnap and hold hostage, like I see your life Joy. Okay, so you are a paladin. A paladin is like a knight, like someone who has taken an oath and become a very important person, You would be someone they might want to kidnap.. All right, so if we're thinking about like brother that Prince Greg could have kidnapped Should we maybe pick someone who's like got glasses and a beard looks a lot like Prince Greg. You certainly a body double, if you will.. Wh do you know I can't grow beard. I don' Does anyone have gloses in it Are you guys just assuming I'm a prince in the game becausem because of this? Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool per there's only one person There's only one person who kind of looks like you, right? Prince Greg U what do you do I do I have spectacles as well. So why don't we have why don't we have Silent trrade would't get kidnapped with our big gold purse. Yeah. So I get all the gold, but maybe kidnapped. But you need to walk by and look vulnerable. Yeah you got to say that you're a prince. You're the second prince. Maybe mayaybe walk by like you've lost your glasses somewhere. I sa. This is all contingent on the fact that you have not already lost your glasses. silent train wind. Please roll me a D twenty as long as you youin a one You do not lose your glasses. venteen. You lost them, but you found them again after hours of looking for them. You really put in a lot of hard work, but you found them again. So now you can effect a very good disguise of Greg the Palatadin in one hundred percent. That also means that Greg is your turn. I like the idea that as you are seeing silent trradewind disguises you walking by, you're almost waiting in ambush, maybe, potentially anybody who might come wandering out. You certain bush, please. Absolutely There is plenty of bush. And so you are able to get into some nearby bushes, look out and sure enough in fact, roll only one twenty the bus bush is near these two towers. Plenty Oh. No Yes, yes. Yeah. But you see someone's hung up like a nice mission accomplish sign for some party or something like that. And so you can roll This will be your stealth check. You have a minus one on this, but The Problem is that right now you're trying to hide in some bushes and it's not it's hard to hide when you're wearing heavy armor and stuff. I think that your giant moth mount is, I believe you still had a giant moth mount. Yep ye is kind of like coming up. you're like, no, no, no, no, come on, G is like sort of drawing attention upon you right now. They haven't noticed you, however. They are too locked in on the money bag being carried by the false prince. And so you see, let's find out who it's going to be who comes emerging out of the tower. O. You see a little Hobb it, comeome right A halfling, the Holken estate owns the word hobbit. a halfling comes emerging out of the tower. He's wearing a chef apron and wizard robes. So it seems like he is a chef but also can do magic of some kind. This hobbit comes running out and here I'm like, what's going on? Oh, interesteresting. And then he suddenly points the force field in the direction of the force field, he has a ring and suddenly this archway appears in the force field. and he goes, You there, you there. It seems like you are maybe in possession of too much gold, my friend. Perhaps I could lighten your load a little bit. He then like almost looks in Greg's direction, but Greg still has the element of surprise right now.most acting like he's being friendly, but you can tell he's about to maybe cast spells to like freez you in place or something like that. Silent trade, when you are kind of passing by with your reaction, Greg, do you want to jump out and do anything at this point I would like to compel him to a duel Yes. You can use confound. If this works, he will have to fight you in that case. He will not get to do anything else. Let me get my special Wizard Eye here. Okaykay. The special Wizard Eye has betrayed him. He only got even with his decent bonus to this, a total of a twelve, He needed like a fourteen or better to pass that Hemedily looks at your direction and you're like, dool me and this like little circle suddenly inscribes in the ground between you two. He tries to back up and he slams against it and he can't get out of here. The ring is clearly the thing that led him through the Force field. And now he's like, no, no, no, no, no. And you know he's scared. because wizards can hit really hard, but they're glass cannons. They don't have a lot of hit points. If you go after him right now you, I'm gonna say you still have one attack left that you could do to this wizard I don't think do we want to kill him though You can attack someone to knock them out. You could intimidate him or persuade him to not fight now that you know he's kind of trapped locked in duel with you I would like to intimidate him. Absolutely. You're like surrender now, yield now and like I won't make this messy on you. Go ahead and roll with advantage. You get to roll two times now and you're going to be adding either intimidation or persuasion to the higher role Eleven Mh Seven, seven. Okay, so within eleven being the high role, can I ask your skills? Do you have either intimidation or persuasion Persuasion plus six. Pus six. Let's go. He would need a seventeen or higher on this. He immediately says, Listen, listen, I'm just the chef. I'm just the chef. We don't need to make this messy. How can I help you? This was all a big misunderstanding. I wasn't gonna to take his money. I would never do such a thing. In fact, I'll bet I can help you out a lot. This guy's totally willing to betray everyone in this tower, right He tells you his name is Manifrit Cherryport. He's the chef in residence here in the tower of Manschoon, known as the Kolat Twers It's too obvious if we just take the ring. I want his whole hand. Absute one hundred percent. You're almost like ass punishment for what you're about to do. A thief is punished often by slicing their hand off. and so you take he almost is like You see him kind of be like,h no, come on. we don't have to Fine and you're pretty sure heath knows I can kind of regrow my hand. And by the time he reales you're going for the ring hand, he's almost too late. Romy one D twenty as long as you hit him, you'll take his hand right off. thirteen. thirteen plus your attack bonus with your I believe long sword. Long sword takes the hobbit the Halfling's hand right off, it falls to the ground and he goes, so can I go now? And he wants to run away from the tower to get out of here You let him loose from your compelled duel. This guy says, I quit and starts running out of this tower. Congratulations. You know I have a ring to get everybody in and out of this force field into the tower. However, Nick's got a ring. You do Why doing this I can't believe it. Wow. And it was given to you by this young hand whizer who as he runs away is like, are we what are we now as he thinks to himself about Greg? Nobody has noticed this whole transaction from inside the tower. Congratulations. We still have the elements of surprise right now Greg, huge turn and you didn't even need to use your Bardic inspiration. so you still have it on standby job, Prince Greg. G to bring us back round to loud train win. Okay. so I'm a big dummy, right The barbarian is known for immense strengthong Constitution, toughness. immense But not high intelligence. Can I I feel like we got to know more about this Msoon guy M Lord Mhoon, Mcent. Can I' a crime guy? Well, not I'm not smart enough to ask people go around and trick people with my brain Could I potentially listen to a podcast? Yes. You can look valuable information by doing so, that would be a perception check. Okay, so I would like to listen to the sit down a Mafia History podcast with Jeff Nadu. Absolutely. He did an episode about Monhoon and I'd like to just get everything that he knows about him and download it. Absolutely. You have to sort through a lot of other like true crime like podcasts and stuff, but you are able to find this legit one that is very authoritative has all down. This is wizards just broadcasting from their towers. all of their thoughts and stuff. And so you are able to use magic Crystal Ball to tune in on this or magical sending stones or wherever you get your local podcast You can roll me a perception check, roll a D twenty plus, I think you have a three on this eighteen eighteen plus three is a dirty twenty one in twenty. Well done. Absolutely. With that, you were going to extract valuable information about Manshoon. Was there something you were listening for in particular? You're gonna get three pieces of information about Manshoon right now Ironically, you can't trade this for scholarships or anything like that because it's just information. Yeah. You would never do that. I'll just leave a five star review. Absolutely. what hundred percent. Okay, so what do we want to learn, boy? Maybe like find out what Manhoon's all about. Yeah. does he do this for money? or What's his motivation? like much's He says right away. is like everyone knows that Manhoon does what he does for money. That's common en Let me tell you the real information about Manshun now All right, so what are we trying to figure out? This this towers his room at What? What What level is his room at? I will point out that we did learn from the scrying that silent train did. We learned the outer tower fourth floor. Okay. So I know I know this podcast well. I feel like he probably talked about this topic What's his weakness? What is the one thing that he can't live without that he needs that we can maybe go after Do kind of know his spellbook is the main thing that if we could get it from him, he loses all of his magical power without his spellbook. I think that's the information we didn't have before that we are getting is if you take his spellbook from him, he loses his ability to do magic. What that point? What about Latina Braads? Oh yeah, he has plenty of other weaknesses. Let me go over some of them. Number one would be Latina Braads. Absolutely. le am. How much does he love Latina Braads? Yeah, yeah, above average.ove average can be interesting. What about after a few Stellas? Yeah abbsolly let me see after Stellas. He loses interest in the m. Stellas weirdly enough is Okay Aolutely. Okay If you have any thoughts about any possible weaknesses, I'll roll to see if it happens to be one of his weaknesses. Like Does he have to definly Latina Broads? Does he have to bring his like satchel of money with him whenever he wants to hang out with these Latina Broads or they hang out with him even if he doesn't have money? let me see, who he does not need any money to go hang out with Latina Bros. He just gets by on pure Rizz. Ex They love. They actually love him more than he loves them. You learn that not only does he there's a rumor he pursues Latina Broads, truth They won't stop coming afterman. S. all want to go for. Do he own this tow or rent to fly You If you ask about his ownership of the tower, there is an answer to that question. Do you ask about I would like to ask. So you find out that yes, he owns the tower, but because there were two wizard brothers who used to own this tower and then he they disappeared mysteriously. You find out that the brothers who owned the tower were wizard brothers called the Cat brothers and their specialty was constructs, gargoyles made of stone that would animate to protect the tower, things like force spields that they could use to protect the tower and gollums, things made of stone or iron that can defend the tower, including flesh colums, otherwise known as Frankenstein's monsters, creatures that look like zombies but aren't. They're constructs with like bolts in their neck that will defend the tower. So we should expect animated dangers that could animate and attack us. Okay. so we know that we got to get a small book We know Latina Broads, anything else. Oh Hank's last question was can he fly Can he fly? Gly. I will let you know that not only can he fly, flying is easy for him. He can almost fly pentally because he's got like a permanent fly spell on him. Not only can he do that, he can teleport across the world in a single turn if he wants to. He also has spells that if we were level two, he could kill any of us easily But even at level seven, if he uses his most powerful spells, he could probably one shot kill any one of us. Okay I feel like we learned a lot.solute. Can I have like a mini, do I have a mini role for? Yes, you have a bonus act actuallyion which what you want. Bonus action just bitch slap silent trade laap justust to let them know that I didn't forget about them. Are you allowing this to? or are you trying to avoid it from happening dod it. I would like to avoid this bitch tyypeper poss But you have a giant Now before you bitch type, I will ask Do you go reckless on the bitch slap Then you get advantage. Reckless bitch slap. Yeah, I'm a reckless bitch slap. Recklessly bitch slap silent tradeing wind, please roll two times on your D twenty. For A, that's a sixteen. Ooh. Initially it looks like it's gonna hit your helmet and then he gets you right in the face with the sixteen plus your athletics bonus, one hundred. And then just leave a note just being like there's there's more where that came from That's all good turn. Thank you. And that was right as you had walked away from from the encounter with is he crying U roll to see if you are crying right now. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're trying to avoid it. so it's really only on a one or two. Eleven. eleven. Oh, you' Yeah no problem. You're fine. Absolutely. Okay percent L T guy. No, that we just tell o We I understand my siblings sometimes have outbursts but past that, we don't tear up, but we don't hold against themburst Okay. E everybody evins in their own way. one hundred percent. And I'll say since you got an eleven and not a ten or lower, a ten or lower wouldve meant there was a little twinkle and you caught that with an eleven, not even a twinkle. hold it together J just beare. Next time I gonna go harder. Absolutely. That'll bring us to Erk's turn now I would use I would like to use my stealth skill and I would like to try and go ahead nobly to try and get a this book Absolutely. So you know the force field in theory is already open. The only way it wouldn't be open is if Greg chose to shut the force field. They left the door open as it were through the force field. So assuming that gate is still there, you can go right through the force field into the towers. I still have the ring do have the rings. So you could make this I would give you the next ring for for your birthday That's really nice. That's so you can see Yeah. That's veryair. happppy we that Happy birthday. So now I have the I can I control the force field now. You do? Yes. wellcent. So I would like to go I would like to go my stealth. Yeah. Yeah. Rule me a stealth check is a bonus action. That's perfect. D twenty plus whatever your stealth skill bonus is. That's a four plus five. four plus five. nine is not great. So I'm going to ask you to be specific about where you're going. There's two towers. The main tower clearly has people inside of it. You can look through windows, you can go through doors, but you're not being very stealthy right now. The outer tower is no windows, a single door, but it's on the second story connected to the main tower by a bridge So you could keep away from those people, then you don't have to worry about how sneaky you're being and go for the outer toer where we know the spellbook is. If you want to head for the main tower, then you're going to have some trouble Is it if I go in the main towower, can I just be like, oh, this is my first day of internship and they'll buy that or is that not going to work? You could try that, but I will point out at the magical schoolchool, they do internships all the time here That's a rare and unusual thing. so the check would be a lot tougher that you would need to make. All right, so we'll go for tower number two As you look at the outer tower, we had already learned that's where the spellbook was at the top of floor four. The issue right now is you aren't drawing any attention. I'll just confirm that It was so funny. find something in just a moment. That's a That was to a natural twenty. That was really the only way somethingone was gonna to go wrong. We'll see in just a moment. But you are at the Oer tower, you notice that there's no ground floor door. There's a door on the second story, but you could try to climb up. What about Lola Oh my gosh Credit Hank. I always have been forgetting Lola lately. I am so glad you remememberking about Lola.ola can immediately spread her wings, fly up invisibly by the way. So Lola's not worried about stealth and this imp can fly up to the door. and I can think of a couple of things. Lola could try to help you up or Lola could open the door on her own You could even go inside the tower, whatever you want to happen here I think a whole lot elp me up. Lola will help you up abbsolutely. Lola iss like I. She's like trying to help one of your feet pushing it up. Go ahead and roll me with advantage now with help from Lola. This is going to be an athletic check. I'm sorry to say you have a plus zero on that is a no warl That's not your specialty the way it would be for a barbarian Ji twenty s take the higher number Wy No way, you you had two rollles you didn't even need the second one on the first try. Lola basically is actually like here, one second, one second and she just like calls out, Oh Lords of the Nine Hells, please give me strength. And for just a split second, she is able to push you all the way up so that you land on the bridge. No problem. know what Mate, since it was not her help that got you the critical hit, you did it on your own. I want to give you credit. Maybe this is your first little bit of wizard magic. You start to levitate off the ground and land on the bridge. She goes, I didn't help you do that. How did you do that? That's incredible. I've never seen a warlock do that kind of magic. And sure enough if you land on the bridge, I'm even prepared to say with a critical hit, you might still be levitating a little bit right now. Nice. Now there's two doors you could go through. the door into the main tower and the door into the outer tower where we know the spell becauseook and it's quieter Unfortunate you now know from the main toer, some people are like, hey, did you hear somebody talking outside? and they are gonna start mobilizing. I'm going to roll to see when they're gonna go, but you could make yourself scarce before they arrive. It's still your turn right now. You still have your action. You could go into the outer tower where you're allost quiet right now. The main tower is unfortunately where all the enemies seem to be So let's go out absolutely for that open the door the tower, you know that at the top of this tower is where the spellbook should be. Immediately opening up, you can see there is a ledge you can step onto and there's a spiral staircase going down into what appears to be the ground floor, which is just a garbage pit. They've been throwing garbage down this staircase and it's all like stinky down there There is a staircase going up from the ledge to the third floor, but straight across from you. There is a little ledge with an almost like statue of a wizard pointing a wand right at you. Roll me in our canana check to see if it certainly looks very suspicious, like a trap, but roll to see if you know anything about this ular twenty D twenty Five Five And what's your arcanab bonus? My arcanab bonus is five. Five, So you got a ten. and because you got one level of wizard, I'm been giving you an extra plus two on that. Let's go. You can tell this is a magical trap of some kind. You know three things are gonna happen. Number one, there are runes on the mouth that are gonna make this statue start talking whenever the trap is triggered. There's a ledge right in front of you. You can pretty you can even see the rune right on the ledge. The moment you step onto this ledge It is going to cause this thing to start talking. It's going to raise off the ledge and something's going to happen on that wand, maybe an attack in your direction or something like that. What would you like to do Lola is like, that's bad news Try just hide out for a minute. You could hide out. This week you could end your turn if you want, you still have your action in case you want to do any attack or something like that or cast a spell or make another skill check. But you could say I'm ending my turn, or you could say I'm readying in action, but not firing it yet. I'm gonna ready in action man. Keep in mind between now and your next turn, it is guaranteed some people are going to come running out of the main tower and start looking around for you somethinghing to consider there. So I can't use my skill. I can only use an action. You can use any action including a skill check. a skill check stealth. Stealth Absolutely. So now this is your second attempt at stealth. Rll me one more stealth check to try to. you're kind of hiding on the bridge, is that right twenty! twenty! Wow! Okay. With the critical hit,. wereere you hiding on the bridge by kind of like laying flat on the bridge or were you trying to hide in the tower? ide in the tower. I will say that if its with a critical hit, you manage to avoid this trap entirely. You think it censor room did not go off. and so you get into the tower. Do you want to stay on floor two or go down to floor one, the garbage pit? go off to floor three, which is a mystery. garbage pit for the safest place to hide. That's actually so smart. Luke Skywalker style in the trash compactory, you go down into down the spiral staircase, there's like at least like fourteen inches of like water down here that you can submerge yourself in It' gross, but it's a great hiding spot that they would never check. job. a nice hiding spot. Tim, I got a question just like, When you're playing Dodgeen and Dragons just like in terms of being a good teammate and everything, is it normal for someone to put their used Lucy in the die It was in a rarapper I mean these are hard dice trays. I want to prese many Okay. I didn't know if that was something that like that's just something you do in Dungeon Dragon. It was in a wrapper. Okay. it. Where's the wrapper? Yeah. Every time I went to grab a die, I just sounds like a high rule we would need to make. one hundred percent. Absolutely This will bring us the silent train wind into next. That's disgusting. So gross. Just sitting right next to the guy It was in a was in a trash wrap early E It jumped out m. It took out in there for some reason. Yeah too make sure it was still there Okay. So silent train wood We are now up to you. You just saw Erlich go inside through the forest field. He has the ring now just want to make but I do want to double check, but I assume you did not shut the archway into the force field behind you, right? You left the door open.. Can do it at any time You need to be out, so you would have needed to do it before you got into It's open.. so it's open. Absolutely So nothing stopping us from going inside. To be fair, we only have a limited amount of time before people are going to start coming out and noticing intruders I am curious about the areas surrounding these towers. Are there any shops? Is there? Is there maybe you know a drugstore or pawn shop, anything close in the areas is a developed kind of spot or more of rural? It's kind of not rural. It's in the middle of the dock district of the city, but this is a rundown neighborhood in the dock district. This really nice courtyard with towers in it is like where four different alleyways meet in the dock district. So it's sort of a rundown district where there are a lot of shops, a lot of hobbs and stuff Deinitely places where you could hide or look around and like pharmacy type place look foring. You looking for little advill because I bitch slapped you. I would like to support local business, mayaybe stop into the Lal pawn shop maybe browse around for a second if that's okay. Absolutely. Are you looking for anything particular? There are plenty of shops that sell potions, scrolls, which are one shot spells, or other magic items you might even be looking for. I heard there's a guy that whips up a great virus in there and I was trying to see sorim I believe I have quite a bit of gold on me from an earlier distraction.one I would like to spend some of the gold on this man's finest virus if possible. Absolutely. You're saying virus like a plague. that might spread potentially. And I would like to look for injectable if possible, yeah. Act Roley one D twenty just this is now very you do not need a high role onap. You're in the right neighborhood. It's a five. Okay, the number I was looking for was a five or higher. And initially people are not willing to tell you where you could find somebody who could provide you with a sample of a plague or a virus You finally, as you're about to give up the search from an alleyway, this guy who looks like he is a little raven man pokes his head out and goes, Hey, hey, I heard you're looking for a plague. I happen to be a plague brewer. comeome inside my shop. And his shop is like down a staircase in an alley into somebody's basement He is brewing different plagues here and he has an injector syringe. He says that you certainly have enough money. If you're willing to pay full price for a sample of his deadliest plague, you do not even need to make a check. If you want to haggle, you certainly can to get a better price on it. But you have everyone's money right now. You can afford this. I would like to hit him and maybe like eighty percent on that. You know, gentlem'sggle, nothing crazy.row me one D twenty, seeee if you can handggle it down a little bit That's going to be a strong too with a strong two, he goes. I noticed you were looking for a really long time. I don't think you're going to get a better deal on a plague. It's highly illegal to be selling this sort of thing. full price, I'm afraid is what I'm going to need does seem to be quite a bit of gold. I sa Iw I hit them a full price and still have You still have plenty of gold There is a dent now in our funds at a point. And you have a syringe? I assume that there are regular plagues here. You wanted to go for the best kind. There are magical plagues. They can't easily be cured without the power of a cleric. You're the only person here who would be able to cure the plague that you have in your syringe right now With that done, that was your bonus action. You could now move to anywhere you want and it would be an action to do a spell and attack, a skill check or inject somebody with that syringe. I would you like to go meet up with the boys? I'd like to regroup. One hundred percent. You regroup with the boys, one hundred percent. If there's anything you wouldd like to ready or you could hand that syringe up to somebody or anything like that, you certainly may.an like trradewind, is that a vial of plague that you have? Are you hiding it or revealing it to everyone A back on the plague Guys take the plague all the time. It's just like, I got it in my pocket. Yeahah. It's recreational. Yeah, recreational, you know, You're not that fat, dude E know You don't need the needle. Is it a party plague or is it just like you need it? Yeah A. I guess it would be two to be d the term we no one's we have no sample size on the effects. Weig I got it from the guy on the street said it was a good plague but you know, you know know they cut the plague we all sort of stuff Yeah. Yeah. they're mixing pl Yeah. Just say if you take the plague, make sure that somebody's around you I disable. Okay Glad to be in back me now He is the Nark He is like the human Yeah. So when you take it, make sure you're around when you take the play understand himself. Gotcha.'ll do. Absolutely, one hundred percent. And to be fair, there are also lots of magical drugs sold in the city as well. The plague that you got is both, in fact. It both gives you a crazy feeling, confusion, but also very dangerous as well. Be careful. You know, you don't want to accidentally prick yourself with the plague. Yeah, mayaybe test it before you take it Yeah.t Becauseuse like you might take it and then you might just like You might just stay in the strip club for like twenty hours nonstop afterfterwards The risk some guys take? Yeah If you wanted to use your action to sample it, you certainly could, but you could otherwise end your turn too. You K keep hippo Maximus away from it He'll tell he'll use all of it I wouldd like the end my turn here. Absolutely, one hundred percent. I'll mark you with the ready action. If you would like to take one between now and your next turn, but Wayne, we are now up to you. we got Sarcet stuff. Oh ye.ing It's like done. Let's He's already done. Absolutely. So is in how many feet of trash right now? I said fourteen inches. I fourteen arbitrary number. I think a gnome could fit under fourteen inches of water I'd like to do can I do minor illusion where I make a human sized image out of nowhere. I'd like to make a really hot chick She wanders her way down into the basement And then she sees Hank covered in trash and he tries to talk to her, but she's like, ooh, that's disgusting. Okay, so you illion t of Beaiful first of all, you can get inside the dome. You can just barely see through a bit of the open door into the outer tower You make it just appear on the other side of the door. An illusion of a beautiful woman begins to descend the stairs. Hank, please roll me an intelligent saving throw to see Tim, if it's okay, I'd like her to be shocked by his presence and his smell and revolted and she's so revolted by it that she doesn't know I'm there. I'm hiding you. She's so revolted by his smell and his presence that she then causes a scene and attracts the attention of those Frankenstein looking guys. to come by. Rom me a deception, check, real because so convincing you make this illusion. I got plus eight two plus is fantastic. You are very good at creating convincing That's a nine with a nine and that's before I assume the plus eight, is that right? So seventeen in all was looking for a fifteen or higher for this to be a very convincing illusion that's making a lot of noise. So I would like Erlch to please roll an intelligence saving throw with disadvantage to see if he's falling for it. So roll two times and take the lower Three of the thes is gone That still counts as a three, I think. Let me see Oh, sorry, yeah, that is a hard to redie. yeah you got to one D dealer's choice. You gott w. You gott w one. Yeah, the hard to read is the one. there might not be even anying ro on there there. You're right thirty. You know what, I'll give you the higher of the two. You get the three. I have only worlded once so sixixteen. Thank you. You're going make it easier so he gets takeick the higher No no, no, no. I was saying the higher between the one and the three because, you said the higher between the two. I roll roll three. I said, I'll give you the higher one of those two, meaning the three So a commander giver. Commander giver at his finine. I was not giving him the sixteen. Absolutely. So you're not giving him the sixteen. We're going to go with the three then that is not enough to know that this baddie who is coming down the stairs right now is an illusion. In fact, you think she is one of the guards who, you know, just walked across the bridge to get to you and you're like, oh, dang, the guard who's coming after me is a baddie and you're looking around hiding from the guard sees you smells Romy one wisdom sa say unless you ro really bad on this, it wouldn't cause you to be like b like looking out of the water kind of four Okaykay I'm sorry to say. let me ask ' them, th no, I guess Yeah, no, that's not going to be enough because there's no way was six on this. I'm just trying to play by the rules He actually rolled a fourteen. Oh really? That was a fourteen. Feel free to pass me that die. I don't want to give us a hard to re die. I'll get that one out of here.' Absolutely right. That's a fourteen where the one has worn away for you. You are not emerging out of the water like oga, Aga. But you are staying hidden in the water. You do think it's a real woman, but you you're like She might be dangerous, so I got to be a little careful here. The bad news is that that was enough of an illusion that as she's calling out, the guards like someone's in that other tower and they're heading for the outer tower now to look around. Such a cockball. Absolutely. So at the top of initiative, right after Greg's turn, we're going to have some intruders emerging at this point. Wayne, that was your action. anythingthing with your bonus action, you could do Healing Word to heal some well no, nobody's injured yet. You could also use another part of inspiration on somebody other than Greg. Greg still has Bard of inspiration. You just blow up everyone's spot. No, just yours Ours is ours. ye. because you're gonna to get your hands on that spellbook and it's gonna be bad news for everybody here That's what' that's the mission. No,'re you're not going to share it with anyone Remember who told you fourteenth? Yeah I think I want to use my Barnic inspiration on silent trade whenin, silent trade whenin to just be like Hey, man, you got you got a lot of virus. We should go into the bathroom stall maybe and check that out I let's party We can hit the stall I feel inspired Yeah, let's inspire. Let's a party After you Okay, thanks Absolutely. Are you leaving to go to a different bathroom or are you trying to find the bathroom in this tower? I think the bathroom stalls a metaphor for just like whate whatever the closest flat surfaces. abbsolutely. arere easily able to find an alleyway and start enjoying some of this plague one hundred percent. Yeah safely Safely.bs safely. But Romy one D twenty just to make sure this is safely being used and silent train wind if you're doing It It's Silent Tin wind are you also indulging Everybody he's doing it I'm not I'm not going I'll indulge. He indulged You're not gonna make me do this on my own. Yeah, this is in peure pressure. I'm indulging my own free will I did test, I did test half half the We did the test half and half, half We're in a good spot. The other half Crippling there's some issues there. I won't reveal the results of the test because I want to keep you safe and having good time. I don't I don't want to see you through a bad He's going in with you. I at eleven. eleven, you are doing okay. almost like the magical healing that courses through your body is protecting you. But you are noticing as he is tripping out that unfortunately Wayne the Bard is kind of getting a little green in the gills right now, unfortunately. However, you have a ready action. Would you like to drop a healing spell on Wayne to alleviate this problem Mbro. You a w of milk Absolutely would hundred percent. Roll me a D twenty. just make sure you cured them effectively. sixteen sixteen is enough. Wayne's feeling a lot better after you drop some healing magic on him silent train wind. Well, done. That's some good shit the waste of the virus. That was actually nineteen. I Yeah, tiny bit. you still got some virus one hundred percent. Absolutely. a little taste. We'll get back to D and D in a second being brought to you by Chevy, Chill we is right around the corner and you know what that means No schedules, no plans. Just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason that Chevy' called the heartbeat of America Silverado keeps that heartbeat strong These trucks work hard so you can chill harder whether that's getting out of town, if it's heading to the lake or just not turning around when you probably should Chevy's got the capability, the space and the muscle It helps you tackle more of what you love. Let let's be honest, you've earned this summer. Now it's time to go get it. So roll the windows down, turn the music up, J just listen That's the heartbeat of America. That's today's Chevrolet. Head over to Chevy d. com too learn more. 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I also sick entire army of Frankensteins that are now looking for you I know wantce you get that spellbook is bad for everybody. It's bad for the world if you have the sts you're just jealous No, it's just bad if you have the spell book. I think everyone can agree with entire mission. You should not have the spell book. We you personally a scllbook. Any of us that gets a Sllbook mission accomplished All right back fiction. It feels like we got we're at odds here. Can we just all agree that Silent Traadwin is a fucking baby backack pch I agree. Okay I disagree You should have done more virus, man. Pussy? I got some mommy. Okay So the illusion yes, caused all the people from one tower to go to the second. They're about to come out. So you know that right after your turn in fact, a bunch of people are going to come running out the front door, but also onto the bridge to go after him. We got some Fankenstein's on the way. We also got some living guards. If you were to take up a position at either door, you could ready to like start chopping heads off as they come running out or you could do anything else you want on your turn. They'll have one small window before they start showing up. Okay. But you don't have to you can just be like, no, I'll deal with them. You could bust into the main tower, start attacking them and keep them busy there or wait for them since you know they're going to come running out I think it's time for action. subtletty' over. Yeah. I'd like to cock my shit back at the door and wait. Absolutely. Are you waiting at the front door on ground level or you trying to climb up onto the bridge to protect anyone who's in the outer tower from guards who might come running at them? I like being on the bridge. Absolutely. Roll me in athletic, cheheck your Oh, never mind You don't need to roll me an athletic check to get up to there, 'cause if you hop on your giant moth, you can ride your giant moth right up onto this bridge automatically. I think I'd rather do that. Yeah. As you land on the bridge, very classic knight on your mount, youve got your lance, you've got your sword. whichich one would you like to ready as an attack against any incoming enemies Do I throw the lance Oo, u let's see. Oh good question. No, Javelin you throw, Lance you stab with. I' ready the Javelin actually. Oo, Javelin' the least damage of all time will not ready that. Absolutely will readyist deals a lot and your sword also deals a lot. What's what covers the most area? Um they all only hit one person. unless you critical hit, then you hit like almost spear Let'sance Let's goance Lance is a great choice Imediately as you ready the attack. That is when the door flies open And it is an armored woman who emerges. She's got two guards and a Frankenstein behind her. and they seem like they were crossing some sort of invisible bridge from like one side of the room to the other. So they're like on no floor, it looks like. But as they throw the door open, she charges right into your lance. This woman has like Almost like a broken nose and scars and she's wearing a heavy armor and she's got a long sword in one hand, a short sword in the other. She is built like a brick shit house and she looks strong. We're talking like ex war veteran Marine type warrior here. You can hit her with your lance right now if you would like to. Is this ex Marine looking right? Is she looking right? Looking good?. I will since you ask as I do for all the AWLs when they meet Cidra, the leader of the guard here in the roll to see how good she looking today. She's looking so She on a scale of one to twenty is pulling a nineteen right really ls And I whether that's because that's your type or not, Greg, you certainly know that this strong muscly lady is looking very good in addition to looking dangerous in combat. Okay. so I would Before I pierce her, I'd like to put on an aura of protection. Y Aura of protection is running all the time All the time. You never take it off. take off your aotion then I would I would like to one hundred land. You come pre protected. abbsolutely. This is huge for the squad that we found a nineteen out of twenty chick. Oh my go. and it was the gay guy, the founder. That's a nine point don where that's coming from. I'm straight as an arrow You certainly have caught her by surprise with this first attack. Last thing she expected was a knight mounted on a giant moth to be lancing her right. But she doesn't hate it either. You can go ahead and roll two times on the D twenty and take the higher roll sixteen. sixteen is already going to be a hit, but roll one more time, C you crit. fifteen. fifteen. So with a sixteen plus your bonus, that is certainly enough Titter arrmor class of just seventeen as you do I will ask what's the damage on your slance? One D twelve plus three. Absolutely. So D twelve is a very funny looking shape of die. It is this one right here with pentagons all over it. This is like the one time it ever gets rolled in the game is Lances. So go ahead and roll that one Eleven. eleven, you said plus plus three three. So fourteen damage on Cidrra so far. I will also ask, are you smiting her with this attack? If you smite her, you will get to deal an additional Three D eights worth of damage If I smite her now, can I not smite later? You can you have a limited number of smites per day. I think you get like five. D smites a le cur to smite. You so many sm a lot. Absolutely. one hundred percent. Go ahead and roll another three D eights Assuming you're using your strongest mite, which is a level two smite. Youll only get two of those and then I think three of the lesser smites. three Seven, O ten E eighteen more damage is going to bring her up to thirty two damage. She is halfway down now at this point, but it looks like she had somewhere in the fifties worth of hit points You get one more attack, Greg on your turn. Whenever you do an attack action, you're a mighty warrior, just like the barbarian, you attack twice. So you can do one more attack against her. The issue is she's no longer surprised, so you don't have advantage anymore. If you're going to take her out, you'll need to hit her and probably smite her one more time. Sid one. go ahead and roll one more D twenty. herer armor is pretty good though Five plus, can I ask what is that tack bonus for your lance U it is No, it's not a plus twelve. Yeah, that you would need a plus twelve Yeah. onene D twenty plus six. I am sorry to say with a plus six, you got an eleven. a dirty eleven is not enough to. She easily dives out of the way. She in fact, it looks cool, grabs the lance and starts like trying to force it back. and before you know, your lance is like lubed up a little bit by the Oura of protection and she's just sliding along the edge of your lance a little bit ick? Yeah abbssolutely. I ever been thatfortunately you're trying to just sort of Are the boys seeing this happen arere the other boys seeing this? It's happening on the bridge. It's quite obvious everyveryone's seeing it except Erlock who's underwater. G Gard. Yeah. And so that is going to be your turn, Greg. well done. However And I guess you have a bonus action. I can't think of any bonus action. You could do a compelled duel on her. I think she's gonna fight me anyone That's exactly what I was thinking You do that me you might mean she's already fighting. Yeah. Was there any other thing you might want to do? You could talk to her as a bonus. I have a bonus action of commommand My steed. Can I just R away? I mean, yeah, you could take off No, no, I'llay on the bridge. I'll stay into the air. She also gets one free attack if you retreat.. So yeah. Now to be fair, if you use your boneus act actuallyion to command your spe speed, I would let your mouth try to bite her I'm gonna hold out that. That's totally fair, the moth's bite is not its most powerful ability to be flying. So Greg, good turn. unless you want to use the bonus action to talk to her or something like that No I think we're passing totally fair, one hundred percent. That is going to bring us to first of all, Ciddra's turn. Cidra is in melee with you. She is going to make a decision on who she is going to go after. Unfortunately we were between now if anyone who was hoping they would go after Erlich, there's a Paladin right between them and the tower. So they're focusing on the Paladin right now She is going after you and not your moth. That's good. your moth is a little more vulnerable than you are. She would She would have done that just to be cruel. So her first attack with her long sword, that's a cock to die thirirteen plus seven, dirty twenty on the die. Can I ask what's your armor class, Greg twenty plate Mail and shhield. Absolutely. That's just barely a hit with her first attack mininimum damage though, she just cuts you slightly for a total of F points of damage. Greg, you have normally fifty two hit points That right. She' at forty eight now after the first attack. Second attack is also a hit. She hits you again with her long sword and she is getting again minimum damage just four damage. You're down to forty four. And then just as you think, o, nobody gets more than two attacks, she's not that much higher level than you then she spins around and uses the shortword to try to get you. She's a two weapon fighter, I'm sorry to say. With her bonus action, she gets a nineteen plus seven, twenty six to stab you with her shortsword for a total of seven points of damage this time. That was the nasty attack and that is going to bring you down to thirty seven fifty two left. Certainly not even halfway dead yet, but you are a little injured inouse. Yeah. I will see if anyone else can get in a position O And then just barely reaching around her, the Frankenstein damn tries to grab you and pull you off your moth. Please roll me an athletics check Oh, luckily you only need to be A eight. As long as you get an or higher, you don't get pulled off your mouth Absolutely I' am sorry to Oh you role the six on the die though, right? Yeah. Can they ask what' your athletics bonus? Zero Do you have the athletic skill? No Okay I happen to know that your default strength is plus three. So what's your total on that? A roll in a six you said? Yes. With a nine total, you just barely with your strength. because you're untrained athletics. I forgot you're not trained in that you are still a strong character one hundred percent And just to be clear, I said Frankenstein, The Frankenstein's monster. donon't at me about this. The Frankenstein's monster is trying to pull you off your moth, does not succeed at doing so, but only just barely. In fact, Id say it's probably still got one arm grabbing onto you right now. He's going to drag you out of your tent or something like that. so are absolutely Greg Dealing with this threat effectively and that's what's happening up on the bridge. Meanwhile on the ground level, we've got three thugs who just came running out. The first thug is going to go after one two Oh, assuming loud trade whenin you're on premises, right? Yeah abbsolutely. They arere going after you. I'm sorry to say you recklessly slapped your friend last turn so now He gets advantage on his attack. try to hing a short sword against you It's gonna be a thirteen plus four is a seventeen. Can I ask what's your armor class? Oh, my armor class is I feel confident I'm hitting you unfortunately for four points of damage. And that is going to since we haven't started your first rage yet. fifteen is my armor class. Deeen. So I hate you for four damage, bring you down to fifty five at a fifty nine. You're still doing fine. problem And then the next another thug goes after you. Apparently they saw you go reckless and they thought you were a good target. I'm like that sppurs fan. Anotherit for three more damage knocks you down there rolling good on attacks, but bad on damage. brings you into fifty two now. And then the last person is going after one, two, three three For silent tradeood. Apparently trwin brothers tanking right now. This will be a shame And that's going to be a seventeen. Can I ask what's your armor class train wind c my armor class is nineteen nineteen Let's go clangs off your armor. No hit. you're wearing heavy like chain mail and platemail and a shield. To be fair, a loud tradewind is running around mostly naked and just like just animal skins and like you know your own skin is what protects you the most very much the mister Incredible vibe, but you are ab absolutely Still taking those hits unfortunately, but only little scrapes of damage That is going to bring us to the end of their turn and the beginning of loud train winds turn. We gott to find this spes in Mlay with you. We gott to find this spell book I would like to Or how big is Erlk? Oh, so you arere a big strong human barbarian. Erlich is technically a gnome. Gnomes are not so small. They're like hfling s. And how good is my arm? It's strong arm? Yeah, you're very out one hundred percent. You have a plus six I want to say on that. I appreciate that, Santy I would like to pick up Erlk and throw him towards wherever the spellbook may be. You certainly Well, okay, so what you want to do first is climb up into the tower where Erlk is to get him. The first step would be an athletics check to climb up onto the bridge. There's no other easy way to get onto the bridge now. Are you going to rage as a bonus action? If so, you get advantage on all climbing and athletic I think I wna keep my rage for when I throwem, right? You can rage now and then you'll have the advantage on both checks.ing and climbing. Let's rage. Absolutely. enter You're barbarian rage. I'm a plus seven on athletics. A abbsolutely Roll me two times on the D twenty and add plus seven to the higher roll. That is a nine. Absolutely That is a seven. nine and a seven. So you said plus six? Plus seven is Pus seven, you needed a fifteen or higher with a sixteen total. you climb up onto the bridge. no problem. Now, roll me a perception check to see if you can see where Erlich is in the garbage below. Well Greg is right next to you. coming your flank Okay, and can I ask what's your perception skill bonus if you have one? I don't have one. Not very. But I' let you use survival on this. track them down. Y. So here's what you found with a nineteen total. you did not find her like yet. But you find footprints of Erlick's going down the stairs instead of up the stairs. Incidentally, we didn't address this, but there is a statue of a wizard very dramatically pointing a wand in your direction. can Erlk, can you just say like, hey, here I am Certainly Absute you call out, hey, it isade I'm gonna throw you at the spellbook Absolutely. So as you go down the stairs, I will just highlight you are stepping on the rune kind of automatically, but that's when you find out that the statue rises off the ground, says, I'm Derlark Kolot and you shall be destroyed. And the su it goes, pi pe,. I'm gonna to get you. I'm gonna to get you. This is not an actual trap. This statue was merely there to try to scare people away, like a ring doorbell type situation. It looks like a trap But you do not need to worry about this wizard statue. It's just an animatronic basically. And then as you go down, you are able to grab Erlich and start to throw him up through the center of the tower Yeah to get him to ideally the fourth floor. Erlick, are you almost going aerodynamic to make him even better at this. Absolutely. You're not resisting it, you're going with the flow I'll let you roll with advantage from rage and then give the rare coveted and highly illegal according to the actual rules of D and D double advantage. You can roll three times on this loud train wind twelve. twelve so far Seventeen Uuh seventeen plus your athletics bonus of plus seven is more than enough. You send Erlich flying up past that statue on the second floor. I'm gonna get you. It says as he goes flying by, he crashes through the floor of the third story, but doesn't take damage unless you wanted him to take dage. You don't want him to do not want him to take damage. You find like a gap in the floor that he just breaks through the board And then continues rocketing through what appears to be a double library. It's almost like there's two libraries. The room is split in half, Dusty Library on the left, Dusty library on the right, and they have two different names, Derlark Cot and Alcador Cot. This is the brothother' old library, you would know, the ones who made Frankenstein monsters and stuff like that But you also know now with the information we had gathather, this is not Manchoun's library. you go through this library, crash through the floor and just roll me a D twenty. as long as you don't get a one, you didn't accidentally send him through. the magic circle. Wellld done he crashes through the floor, lands in room of floor four at the top of the outer tower, and he's next to the magic circle Immediately you know. if you do an arcana check on this magic circle, you'll press the right combination of runes, open a portal to the pocket dimension where the spellbook is. Let's do it, A? Absolutely. Now on your turn, you'll be able to do that However You are automatically able to tell right now during Loud Train Wind's turn that you are not alone in this room, Erlick. You see in the rafters, like almost leading up to the conical cavity that is almost like an attic above this room. In the rafters, there are things slithering around above you, and you think you see one of them Rear up, it's a snake and spread wings. It's a flying snake. And there's more and more of them starting to gather around. I'll let you do one dice roll to see if you're noticing anything else. Also did it still smell really bad from the garbage? I Yes, very much. one hundred percent. It's not clear what they were throwing down there would you get I got to Well, this is a one or ten Okay, doing? I don't know the last one I rolled, I got four, but I thought it was actually fourteen. It's a one. With a natural one, I'm sorry to say something bad has to happen to you. and that is when suddenly you see arcing down from the rafters a beam of energy. I am going to ask you to please roll me a D twenty to see if something happens here Five. How did you do A beam of white energy arcs down from the rafters and hits Erlich. I would say the only person seeing this is a loud trainwind right now. You can see him standing like through the hole to the fourth floor. He's standing there like aha, There's the magic circle. The white beam hits him. He's frozen in place paralyzed in that room as the snakes slither closer and you did not get a good look at what fired that beam of energy in his direction That is your Bonus action was raging. yourour move was getting down there, your action would have been tossing him up, but I would only count that as one of your attacks. Loud train wind, if you would like to scale the steps Yeah I'd like just jump. I'm just so strong. I just jump through the hole that he made and I'll just hang out with my boy. Roll me one athletics, cheheck to jump. If you roll well, then you still have an attack. seventeen. seventeen That's enough already. You can ro more time to see if you know it. Honestly, take it one hundred pergcent Yeah. So you jump all the way to land right next to the paralyzed Erlk and now you can see above a creature that looks like this. Oh you mist for another fifth snake, There's like four flying snakes up here in the Raptors. There is also a creature that you thought was a snake, but it was just one of its eye stalks This is a creature called a spectator, a lesser version of a much more dangerous monster called a beholder. Luckily this thing doesn't have ten eyes. It only gets four, but each E of these eye stalks fires a different magical ability. You got hit by the white beam, that was the paralysis beam. He's got three different things you can do and the center eye does something. You might know with your good Acana what the center eye and what the other eyes do, but you can't communicate it right now okay So I'm not even have your role right now. You got one more attack, L Drain wind if you want to go after either this creature or one of the snakes. He's not wearing glasses, right? He's not. No No. I'd like to I'd like to use my big strong titties in his face. Absolutely. So it sounds like you're not attacking with your weapon. You're trying to almost smother smother. I'morry. I want to squish him. Ro me in athletics check to squish this guy. He's like a big pac man floating in the air with a big mouth and a center eye.ou Hm, let's see. nine I'm sorry, you roll two times and take the higher number. Okay. One for each breast four. So we'll take the nine plus seven is a sixteen. If he can get a sixteen or higher, he will avoid getting smothered. With a plus two, that's only a thirteen, you begin to smotherot a big mouth and you've got both powerful breasts upon it. Yeah you are smothering. He is a giant mouth. He's trying to bite but he can't do it easily but he's going to try to bite on you maybe his next turn. I will roll to see when this guy's going to go. Oh, critical hit, notot that thats matters at all. He is going to go at the beginning of the next initiative. problem. But that is your turn, loud train win. That's going to bring us to Erlk now h Erl like we got somewhere. I'm sorry to say you're paralyzed right now, but you get to end your turn rolling a saving throat to try to break free of the paralysis. If you roll really well, I'll give you some of your turn to do whatever you want Ior to say remain paralleled And to your credit, paralysis is largely controversial in the game of D andD. It's like, so I don't get to do anything. It does fucking suck. I apologize, but I think it's don' this's a tough game.. So Tam, I forgot to say one thing about my turn when I jumped up I I dropped a bunch of ropes for Oh, my boys. Hey, I love say that one hundred percent to him I to say so my guys can climb on. one hundred percent I love it. That is a legal recon I will allow one hundred percent love that. So that is going to bring us from Erlk's turn to silent train wind now D and D in Tim Woods is brought to you by Jose CQuervo, whenQuervo enters every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor can't help it stand up and high five those around you at the game And the room reacts like it just got the same text at the same time You stop checking the time and suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard that you can barely catch your breath That's the Quervo effect signal everybody understands a moment Anyone can join and a good time that just grows All you have to do is keep it Cervo Now more D and D. Is there a possibility to where Dude get up here I could hit the rope, right? You could climb the rope or attack the rope Just make we're using a rope to get get. You can either climb up the stairs or climb up the rope to get to the top floor of the outer towowerer. is not an issue. Grab the boys, too. Everybody's coming right? we're hitting the clb the rope So that way they don't have to get up the rope. I'm on that bridge. Yes. I'm gonna to say the rope dangled all the way down to the ground floor so So it's like, now you don't have to worry about the bridge anymore. You grab them all do you down to time on. Yeah We're like possums. Yeah. Thanks for the loop. Yeah,'s like if you guys can s and take that trip. Yeah. So if you're helping carry all three people up, I'd like you to roll three times as long as you don't get a one on any of thesebody gets up okay How we do? Zact There's a one. That's it. Okay. So back, you tell everyone to kind of climb on your back like possible kind of and you start to climb and within a few seconds of getting halfway to the bridge, the rope breaks. No, actually sorry, that's a one that has to be the worst possible outcome. You made it okay, you climb up onto the bridge, no problem. you keep climbing the rope And as you're all about to pull yourself up into the fourth floor, That's when the rope breaks and you are about to fall three stories into the garbage pit below. Eact unless. You roll one dexterious Satan throw to grab on. Take the fucking drugs, dude. makeake yourself super human plague does seeven seeven is not the number I was t You roll D eight. Youll you'lled eight, right? twelve? what did you roll That might have been an incorrect Iice.. twenty. Yeah, you rollong.'m sorry when you ro one, was that the D twenty? Yeah it was the D twenty. Yeah yeah, D be like that. There certainly was. So there will be another D twenty. you're adding your dexterity, which's a minus warn on this, but come on. threeree He is not enough. I'm sorry to say, you're pinwheeling your arms trying to grab on Can he take the drg anything? Can he take the PCP? Yeah, if you want to take drugs to try to make be better at this, I'll let you roll to see if the drugs help with this Don't think the deadly virus is necessarily gonna to help you grab on better, unfortunately. We this other half didn't test too well. Absolutely. It's my bonus action,y That' my bonus Now what I will say is you're about to plummet down to the ground below I'll give the other two people who are on your back their own roll, but you guys really got to get like a very high roll to not end up in the garbage pit with silent train wind. Yeah. Falling three stories onto a needle filled with plague is bad. Actually Yes. one hundred percent. I did not even think of that. God Nine is not enough and Greg, it sounds like you were climbing up as well To be fair your mth wouldn'tit through the door. so you kind four. a four. Both all of you are falling down. Then everyone just who's landing on the ground just wrote me one more D twenty. As long as you don't get a one, you don't land on the needle Damage fifteen Okay U Oh, not a bad dam. Damage roll there.. You notice the needle was poked into your body, but the plunger didn't go through. So you didn't get injected luckily. Everybody who just took a tumble there just took eleven points of damage. This was your fult. That's gonna to bring Greg down to twenty six left It's going to bring silent Trainind down to twenty eight out of thirty nine and then Wayne, you takek eleven, you're down to forty out of fifty one now. So everyone's a little injured and that is sorry, that was right after. Loud trarain win had gone, Erlich had gone. and that was silent train. I told you this guy was a bitch I's not good. Yeah. Now you need the rest of your movement to stand up in the garbage pit and you're not dead, but you are badly injured. You could do a healing spell if you wanted to is your action. You could also try to climb up to the top floor again with your action Can I heal the guys? You cant one hundred percent. I would like to heal the guys. Absolutely. I third level group healing spell. that is going to be, I believe one D eight that you roll and everybody gets that much back When do eight plus three plus four actually. So six and four to ten. ten. everyverybody's getting tenit points back on Dreg. So Greg's at thirty six now silent train whenind you are at thirty eight and ten back to Wayne is going to bring him up to fifty Yeah. uppstairs Erlick is not injured at all. And I would say that spell could have just barely reached loud train wind if you wanted to heal him back up to full. Would you like to do so Yes, abbsolutely.body healed and that would be the end of your turn then, silent train wind. well done. Wayne, we are back to you. What would you like to do? Okay, I'd like to go up to this the library area where the spepellbook is. Y. And there's a bunch of snakes up there, ye. Yes. So I'd like to do fireball on the and try to destroy every snake there Okay, so with a fireball, you will get every single snake, no problem. the snakes are in melee with anybody. There also is the spectator, the eyeball monster. you can catch him in the blast, but only if you are also willing to hit Erlick. And loud train wins. I'm willing to do that abolutely one hundred percent decision. If were fireball is going wanted frozen so this this This is going to mean that he's automatically taking the full damage, no saving th. I thought he was dead. Do you think you're literally frozen like an ice? Yeah. Not like an ice, but frozen like this. Like you can't even protect your face saving the f. If someone hits you in Mayl, they're just like clawing right in the facelt melt. Yeah. I walked up there I saw he was'tving I assumed he was dead so I'm like, I might as well take him out too So completely incidental. You can kind of like get up into that third floor library looking up into the top floor launch a fireball, you'll be safe but everybody in that room is about to get cooked. Yeah. You don't reallyll do twenty. Instead you roll E D sixes and add them together and that's how much damage everybody's taking. the snakes All O two Six eighteen oula. to twenty One twenty one B rolls One twenty two great So was two there. I think one, two, three, four, five six. Yeah. I think that is right N for not N deal, but at the same time, can I ask Yeah, so you would have a charisma. Let's see, No they would need a sixteen. The snakes rolled a fifteen Every one of the snakes by the twenty two points of damage. Congratulations. snakes kill Poisonous snakes are dead Well done What the hell is he talking? Well, you were also in the room. so fireball hit you too. That's fine. I have so much fucking armor, dude. Hank's paralyzed, so we can't defend himself against it. That's why Oh, that's a shame ye Yeah The spectator eyeball monstert even show critical hit critical hit And so there'ly t one quarter damage I'm sorry to say for all that trouble. He's taking five points of damage. You can tell he has thirty left. And then Hank, you take twenty two points of damage from that fireball. That is going to knock from the full hit points, you were at forty five full hit points. You are now down to twenty three. Sorry I didn't seeith there M Now I am going need loud train wind to also please roll. Oh yeah. Tw times because you get an advantage thanks to something called danger Sense. Okay teen thirteen. Okay The number that you needed to beat was his number of sixteen. you have a plus two to your dexterity modifier. And you know what I'm training it? Yeah. So it would unfortunately just barely be the full twenty two fire down. fucking f doesn't prect you from it. But you were buull h points That the healing for silent train when you're half brother percent Yeah hear the boys, yeah Ebody touch some damage, so you know a little bit. Can I bestow a curse as my other action? Ooh. I'm allowing it, one hundred percent. Wh do you want to put a curse upon? I'd like to make it so that Erlich can't read. Yeah, So even if he gets the spellbook, he can't use it ever early on me wis saving th or charisma saving throw to try to avoid this attack. Rom me one D twenty Five. You are currently illiterate. I'm sorry to say untilerate cast remo curse upon you, one hundred percent. Autely I'm sorry. That will bring us from Wayne's turn to Greg the Paladin.'re a hellous rebuke Oh. Bom That's when you how do you call? I'm actually paralyzed first and foremost would mean an inact it deals damage to you, where you can get to tellllish rebuke them But otherwise great memory there. those words me. Unfortunately, how are you reading your paper I just knew that by what paper. You know, Hank, I forgot you had Hellish Rebuque. Would you have liked to Hellish rebuque that eyeball monster when it paralyzed you? I would let you roll to see if you pulled it off before you got powered course. Roll me one D twenty. If you get an eleven or higher, you pulled it off before C Oh it's still pretty good. Brutal. good. It's a good role. Its ale goods good. that will bring us then to Greg's turn. Greg, I'm sorry to say you land at the bottom of the water. Yeah. Then you have yield back up to thirty six currently at of fifty two. What would you like to do? I don't know I agreed to hop on the rope when I was on a flying mall. So here's the thing, I did think of that too But the maloth wouldn't have fit in the door, unfortunately. It's too big, like a hor sizeight. So how can I get up there with everybody? Right now you could try to climb up the rope or the stairs with a roll, basically Yeah So take the stairs. Absolutely. I didn't want to say it, but there were stairs the whole time. I never had It do be like that. To be fair throwing got him there quicker. So I can't argue with that twenty D twenty D twenty and you had your plus three athletic. seventeen. seventeen, a dirty twenty is going to make I going up the stairs really well. W that? I'm like very nimbly going up the stairs. Absolutely. you're making the full distance. You jump in fact with the twenty you' higher. I will give you an advantage on the first attack roll against anybody you attack here. The eyeball monster still has over thirty hit points left I think we hit him. Absolutely. what weapon would you like to use on the spectator My L swword p. Absolutely. Long swword is a great choice Roll me a D twenty, I believe plus six. Now if I cut off one of the tentacles like that has the paralyzing eye, does that unparalyz I would say if you either kill them, or no one's ever suggested that before, chop off the paralyzing eye. Tottally would freak your teammate. Roll me a knowowledge, check to see if you know which one is the paralyzing eye Seven. I'm sorry to say you, you're aiming for the wrong one It's the whispering eye instead you are Yeah I would like to aim for that. Absolutely. goo ahead and roll a D twenty plus I think six to see if you can hit with your long sword Nine. nine. Okay, nine plus six The armor class of this guy fourteen, a fifteen still hits him. G ahead and tell me before you even roll your damage. wouldould you like to do another your second powerowerful smite against this monster. Tim, I'd like to use my second smite. Absolutely. Please roll four D eights. A them all up, and then we'll add, I believe plus three one Six, six seven Okay, so that's seventeen plus another three, twenty damage in all against the spectator is going to bring him up to twenty five damage. So he has exactly thirteen left at this point. You have done your first attack, you definitely got it here in time to do your second attack. I don't think I gave you advantage on that first attack. So I if you want to do a second attack against the spectior, I'll give you advantage on that A there are no more snakes? There are no more snakes, they got barbecued by the fireb. Okay. Yeahah, yeah, I'll do the second sass. Rom me two D twenty s this time Eleven Already hit. twelve. You are hitting him again. Now he's got exactly thirteen left. Your sword only deals one D eight plus three, but you're out of your higher level smites. If you use a lesser smite, you would get three D eight plus three damage against this guy. Do you want to go for the lesser Smite or I' One left after that. You would have actually only one left after that because one of the smmites was your casting compelled duel. So I want to sit on I want to sit on the Smites. Okay, you're sitting on the Smites. rooll one D eight plus three damage against this guy. He's got thirteen left E eight plus three is eleven more damage brings him down to just two hit points left. Greg you had Bg inspiration, but it couldn't help you because you already hit with all of your attacks. anythingthing with your bonus action. He's almost dead. Unfortunately This spectator is going next. Can the paralyzed speakers at their body? Sorry, the par Great question. No, you cannot talk what paralyzed, I'm done You didn't when we did that second attack, I rolled to see if you got the right eye. It did not free him unfortunately. Okay. I'm done. Okay. abbsolutely. That is going to bring us to the spectator at this point. This eyeball monster starts looking around and first of all is going to pick who to fire his orange beam at Well, not Erlk again. You're paralyzed. So he's going to pick somebody else. Let's see. actuallyually there's only four options. So okay I am sorry to say that right now, he is firing an orange beam of energy at you, loud trarainwind. Please roll me a D twenty. as long as you can get a thirteen or higher, you're fine Three is not enough. You immediately fall under the confusion effect and suddenly you realize everyone around you is an enemy. Oh no. You are gonna attack someone random on your turn unless we free you from this confusion and you go next is the bad news Then he fires a second beam at someone here be And that's gonna be two three So to be fair, I guess he's firing it down through the hole in the floor at silent train wind. There's a black beam of energy coming your way. Silent trarain wind, please roll me a D twenty to see if you can avoid it. to five five. I'm sorry to say you get hit by the withering beam, I think it is called and I guess it's the whispering beam. And you are getting bad start. Okay, notot so bad. ten damage so far. fourteen damage as your skin sort of withers up a little bit. fourteen damage is going to take silent train wind down two twenty four hit pointos left. But that's the end of the spectator' turn, loud train wind Please h roll me a D let's see. There's one other enemy in the room. Roll me a D six and reroll it if you get a six. There's five possible enemies you could hit here One is Erlk Two is Wayne. three is actually Silent train wind isn't up here right now. So apologies, Rom me the D four, the four side I would like potentially hit silent trade when., okay, never mind, then roll E six all over. Yeah yeah By the way, if we don't finish this today, we're Tim is actually coming to camp What? Yeah So was brereaking moves Rakam Moose Very excited. Breaking news. Tim is coming to camp and Tiago Splitter has been hired as the bull'she head coach I will also say my start in Dudgeons and Dragons was like a boycout summer camp. so this'll be like a return homecoming kind of for me, it feels like. Where's this? So the D six is the Cubic die, justust your regular dice basically. I'm an idiot. No worries. So what number is he? Right now, you are hoping if you want to hit him, one, two, three is the number I'm sorry to say Wayne suddenly looks monstrous to you. You feel incredibly like you want to attack Wayne. Please roll me two T twentyies. I'm going to say you're going reckless against Wayne. Sorry, Wayne. Sorry If anyone, you should blame sixteen, you should blame Prince Greg do whyy Prince Greg You put me in this mood, dude. I did this? Yeah., you fucking the guy hit me and then I lost my mind and started going reckless Is that not what's happening? whether I hit him or not the eyeall monster But the eyeball monster hit me. I was sminghing out at everybody L Who do you have left in your corner? Can I I rolled the sixteen, canan I please do a re roll on who I'm attacking? Yes, okay. roll me in D twenty first. If you roll well in the D twenty, you get a re roll on this. It're almost like trying to suss out the most d down Prince Graam A abbsolute T That is enough for you. on. So what is Prince Greg? Three is Oh three. four would be Prince Greg. Two, three, four, one. Okaykay, got it again I'm sorry D How did you do on the D twenty attack against sixteen sixteen sixteen' a hit. which you're d is two D six plus eight with your magic axe. roll two D six plus eight damage T to. three five plus eight thirteen damage against Wayne, not ideal is going to bring him down. not Prince G two thirtyies This thing is attacking regard you see point. Absolutelyqushing with my titties. You do get two attacks. I will let you now roll another D six to see who the target second attack is. attack me again here S that we don't have a re roll that exactly right Four, four is Prince Greg you are attacking right now. Please two D twentyies each. I've done this Five, so Nighteen nineteen is a solid hit for another two D six plus eight damage against a sw on the record. I'm not trying to attack my d. I know you were hit with you were speed of energy. control What am I doing now? two D six plusD Kemo time rch against Greg to fiveive So that's seven plus eight, fifteen damage on Greg is going to knock him down to twenty one left. And after those two attacks, that brings us to Erlk's turn. Erlick please roll me a D twenty If you roll well, you'll break free at the end of your turn. If you roll really well, you'll get your turn. What's it say? However it w, O more? Yeah. Yeah, I'd say, so it's wearing off at this point. This guy's getting injured thirteen. thirteen. thirteen is enough that you break free and have just enough of an action to do one minor action. The bad news is that can't be an attack. It can be a skill check including and our can it check if you wanted to try to open the portal while we are dealing with the last of the enemies here to get the spell book Let's Let's do investigation. Okay. You have to look around for the Can I can we talk to the scariest snake The the snakes are all deadally You could ask the spectator Yeah. That would be a persuasion or better yet intimidation check. Okay. You would have advantage because he's down to two hit points left. The spector is scared of us and he's getting smothered by some big powerful breath. So you're actually able to roll two times. You know what I really wasn't giving you credit for having someother him roll three times on this, right? twenty? Absolutely They at Uh S Five.. eightight plus what's your six? Do you have any intimidation?us six? fourteen. Let me see, that might be enough I'm sorry to say this spectator is not getting scared of you right now, Erlk, unfortunately, silent train winds turn now. Silent train wind to be fair, this spectator's almost dead. And you could try a religion skill check to like open up the portal Riff like you're not good at that Yeah I would like to I would like to think about maybe doing that. I would If possible, I'd like to get rid of the rest of this This play my pock real quick before we continue out don't want any mishhaps. Would you be cool with me just maybe like just injecting like the nearest wolf wandering around with restless plague? There were enemies still trying to break into this tower and I imagine maybe kind of shut there were behind us. you can inject those enemies or you could run up and inject the spectator with the plague Yeah. I'd like to just toss plag into the woods. hopefully a wolf finds it. Absolutely. So you just want toss it out into the wilderness Romy one D twenty to make sure it gets out and the spreads W a five. With a five, some rat eats it and then starts moving through the city. Oh no. It's not going out into the wilderness. It's going out into the city. This isn't good This is the worst plague right throughroughout the city Let's say that was your bonus action. Anything you want to do with your action Is there a chance that rat bites a wolf in the near future? Yeah roll to see you're like almost trying to see the rat. He really wants to create a super wolf if that's okay You know it roll two times to take the higher number So h be six. Six. There's a wolf who's getting bit, but it's just getting sickly and stuff. But if you find it, you might be able to get this wolf evolved into a superolf. Why do you wantna super wolf so b? Do this have anything to do the fact that I was raised by wolves because of our bitch mother? Yeah, who knows this plague might just take out any wolf around. That's not good.san. somewhere. think about that. That's unfortunate. mean for us to lose all the wolves in this. Do you know the wolf who got infected and is like almost like withering up now? a member of the family raised him That''s super unfortunate. more my brother than you. That's super unfortunate that some of your what family members are gonna to withher from a colleague. I didn' mean to do that. Got it. Absolutely. Oh, sorry Silent train wind I forgot you had Bardic inspiration. Would you like to roll a D six and add it on to that roll see if maybe the wolf anything else is happening to the wolf with a four higher on the D six It's one. Okay. No, no, no, no further no. And that would bring us to Wayne's turn. Yeah, I want to go get to the spell book. I I I want to the riddles. I want to like get into the thing. So Wayne, if you run up the stairs, just roll a D twenty as long as you get a one, you're pretty much up there. in the stairs, I imagine So eight eighteen. You easily climb up to the top floor. You see the spectator with his last two hip points being smothered and wiled upon. You could do something that or just focus. I want to up Let's get the spell book. Which are our cannab bonus? Our cannab bonus is plus four. four. Roll me a D twenty plus four sixixteen plus four is a dirty twenty and that is the exact number you needed. You pressed the right combination of runs. This rift opens, not a portal big enough to step through, but more like a VCR opening where you see this rectangle of just empty starry space up here, a floating table with a black grimoir O this table a massive spellbook of great, incredible power that you could reach out and claim right now if you wanted to. I would love to claim the book of Imense Power to. Absolutely. You're not doing anything with your action before you do that, Is that right That's a good question Always fun when the DM's ask a question like that. That is an interesting question for you to ask me if What was a question Youould look around for any other danger or something like that. you can make another Acana check to see if your Arcana tells you about any just wondering if he does anything before reaching for the book. Okay. We don't know why I would ask a question like that. Robback question RHOBacK dot com promo code take twenty percent off first purchase Q zips, polos, hoodies joggers, shorts Wayne, would you like to do anything before you get to the book? I thinkreresscie adved to do an our cananida check. You certainly could see what's going on here? Absolutely. Okay T twenty? Py That is a ten. ten. Is enough that you notice runes around the edge of the table, but with a ten plus four a fourteen. It's not powerful magic. and you know it's not a trap that's gonna to hurt you in any way. In fact, you can't really tell exactly what these runes are going do, but they're like between you and reaching for the book. Theres no if you reach for the book, your hand will pass over the ruines and something will happen, But it won't hurt you, you don't think. Not gonna hurt me. Absolutely. So if you don't know exactly what, do you reach for the book anyway and take it now? your. I'm gonna reach for this book to. Absolutely, As you reach for the book, you were able to grab the book, take it, and now you have the power to become a great wizard like Lord Man Shun However, the ruins begin to beep beep no They light up like an alarm. sudenly the magic circle begins to manifest. That how you deleted it. And Greg, anything you want to do in the single turn we get before this teleportation circle is gonna do something. No thanks. No that's Suddenly We see in the middle of teleportation circle the rift shut And an individual begin to appear. Stepping through a portal of their own, man Soon arrives and looks around this room like a massive powerful shredder. He looks around no nonsense And I would like and I'm going to roll the seeeping nose the critical he. He suddenly says, who are all of you Wait a minute. I know one of you What are you doing here Loud trade wind. Oh fuck, My son!! I am your father! No Ipect you to get raised by wolves. I see you have returned once again the prodigal son who I cast out. What do do you say anything to Manhoon or should we end right here? I take thisperect ending. C can't get to a more dynamite ending than hundred But if I if I were to say anything, it would be like, yeah, I am your son. Let's team up and kill that fucking bitch half brother that He reaches out to you and he says, I never I knew of your half brother and he is my enemy. Yeah Join me. And together we will rule this city of water deep. you accept? I accept. Absolutely. and we'll see how that goes then in our next game. W one hundred percent. What No And we'll do yeah, we'll do like a mini episode at Barceol Camp. Yeah.? Absolutely. Yeah. Did you know the whole time? No, I had no idea. This was my little surprise. did you took down that wolf bitch? Absolutely. And if there's anything I would have to say, it was a mom didn't talk about you much. So I completely forgot. they were raised by wolves. Unfortunately I would like to say sorry all the wves that cared about you are dead. They're so dead. Let me actually make a note of that. The wolves arery. to infect your loved ones the plague. I didn't mean to do that. Yeah. That was. That was incredible. Thank you so much. I'm very excited to come to Barstool Camp. That's gonna be so much fun.. And I will just say I am gonna be at Gencon this summer in Indianapolis at the beginning of August You can sign up for my games there and for the first time, I'm going to be running a meet and greet at Kill Royys Bar just down the block. the guy at Killroys Jacob is a big AW He came over last year and he like put us up and like gave us food and everything. He's the most wonderful guy. We're going to do a meet and greet with the fans there. and I'm going to be doing for the first time a miniature paint and take. I'm really bad at painting miniatures, but if you want to come and paint bad miniatures with me, I'm going to be doing that at GenCon as well. And of course, as I mentioned last time, I'm doing the cruise in October there are still tickets to my table, I'm going be running the fallout RPG actually because I'm a big fan of the video game fallout and I like to do stuff other than D and D. So if you're interested in fallout, we're going be going to Alaska on the cruise and fallout's like important to the fallout setting. So I'm kind of doing a little bit of a different non D and D game.'s abbsolutely. Tim you're can't wait foral camp So you're looking forward to more than anything. obviously That's going to be a lot of fun. Okay, last one sending you into fourourth of July weekend Sow week next week. getet excited U numbers. S seven fifty Oh eight, four ninety five. G fifteen. sixty nine thirirty one for the amount of runs at eleven Nur last wee. Oh, last week, you mean? Let's Shana. Puna! Shout out Puna. All right. Is that your first one on the new machine? Yeah, it is. Oh w. Cating. Wow. Thank you. So who has not gotten it on the new m machine? Me and Mmes. Mes Yeah you got a PFT. Colton. No, not in the new one. It acc count when I got it. Is that it Memes PFT in Colton? Memes got it. I mean No PFT got it. No. I it Me, PFT got it the same way. God No. mine was a Mickey Mouse. I'm not even trying to claim. Memmes tries to claim his, and it's very sad. What was the Mickey Mouse? Mes wasn't real It wasn't real. It was just a second. It was a second I said this doesn't count. Well, you were like, it would be sad if you claimed it Yeah, as we said. Yeah. It wasn't sure, I'll get it. It wasn't an official one. He said it wasn't an official at the time So it does not it doesn't count. Yeah, but it came. No it doesn't But it doesn't count So' now down to memes Colton and PFT. I can't lose to these two guys. Wow And we know this machine' ripping. Yeah, but if we know, I think we got to stop doing two because that's probably part of it. The machine is ripping, man. It's a fair point. Yeah. But if we know, but also if we know how the machine works, The next one's going to or the last one is going to take like another year Yeah What are we going? You can't afford to get another machine. Listen, I I've had I've had such good luck with lot of ball machines this year that I can't complain Cher I got the one that counted Love you guys Happy birthday, America. And birthday Jh McCount Happy birthday at Tom Cruise in that movie where he You know. You know