Harry Hill's Kids on Tour

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Plus, get free delivery on appliance purchases of do three hundred ninety eight doars or more, no membership required Upgrade your kitchen with a modern and sleek GE profile refrigerator featuring hands free autofill for the perfect pour every time. And make laundry day easier with two in one washer dryer combo innovation that completes laundry in about ninety minutes. Shop top brand appliances now at the Home Depot. offer about june seventeenth to Juieth US onlyn S Store online for details This episode is presented by Monzo Josh, I love the summer holiday aside from being asked for an ice cream every thirty two seconds. Wow, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to get them a free Monzo kids account to help build confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly send money or set up regular pocket money and parents still have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app. Unlike the request for ice creams from the kids, Monzo's award winning kids account, search Monzo For children aed six to fifteen, parent or Guardian account needed first, UK residents only, Ts and ses apply. Hello you're listening to Parent in Hell with Can you see Rob Can you say Josh Whiddakom? Aam Its. She's that a drunk home O Can you say Rob Beckett Okay. Can you see Josh Whiddacam? V muchl . Okay Job. There we go. So my twenty three months year old Sophie from Ayrshire, Scotland having a couple of attemptute names with a cheese string in her mouth might add. Lime lister since lockdown where we had the stress of four different wedding dates originally meant to be getting married in march twenty twenty Eventually december twenty twenty one P me Mad going to enter the three kids under fourour Club in November. oldest being additional needs to add to the crazy of our non stop dairy farm with three hundred cs. Cestrings. I think You're a fan M was in the day, I can't see myself eating one now No, I think eating a che strring as an adult is outside is other more accessible I think the problem with cheese for a child is cutting it with a knife. As an adult you should be allowed to do a grater or sharp knight. I think the che string excels of children like the baby bell. pill chump And I'm not a baby Bell fan Tsoo too naggy for my tastes. Premi too thick. I like a thin cheese Okay, well what if what if the baby bell was cut into thin slices? I could deal with that, but I've never seen someone cut up a baby bell They I've said it But then so but you always has to be thin. I don't like in a sandwich when you get like a big chunk of cheese in the sandwich I mature, I like a strong cheese. Iilgrim's choice Well she that gl of course Of course you love it. Cut you in your el. yellow and green and white and red obviously. Sh we do a quick bit of correspondence before we do have a quick bit of correspest Hit me with a quick bit of correspondence. On the topic of snuging your partner relatable Robin Josh. Recently, on a podcast, you asked if there was anyone who still snobbed their partners for no reason other than the kiss. Me and my Hubby have been married for ten years and have three young children We are still very much in the trenches of an eight year old, a four year old and a one year old basically had a baby for eight years. This means our time alone is very rare and home life is chaotic. Sometimes me and the hub How do you feel about being referred to as a hub? mee and a hub Didt like it I sa of forget I'm a husband, not in a bad way. Well, now I've seen you on a night out Rob. Put that My wedding ring in your pocket and before dinner This is a problem for me. I reject anything and I still don't know why I reject anything that makes me lab labelled. I hate a label. when someone says, you're a member of our club or you're a husband. it's weird. I don't know what it is I' from C Cantonian This means our time alone is very rare. Sometimes me and the hub manage to get the same tube to work in the mornings This is thirty minutes we get alone together with hundreds of other Londoners but heyo, this is mental. No. So we snog on any escalator, we ride together on the tube network, sometimes two to three snoggos before we reach the bottom top of the stair. Oh my God. The snoggs don't lead anywhere They do the end of the circle on yeah I do. The circ linees the anus. The Baker Loo, that's the anus The circle linees the vagina. The bakeer and then the cck fosters is the in Ramrod Cog The snogs don't lead anywhere for obvious reasons, but we feel like cheeky school childildren bring back snog in. Hashtag bring back snoggging. Hhtag bring back snogging. I find it awkward but I feel like I'm in the wrong I you want a snog in the morning? When you were up at four forty five AM with Lad, did you go shall we have a snog? I went, Do you want shall we have? Son as we've got three hour I went, o we've got three hours Sh we snug? No, let's just sit at our coffees face away from each other, scroll till they wake up. by the way, as well, the solidarity of solid Karen We should should it be called parent in Hell or parenting Hell from Laura. Oh, that's much nicer. Should we do the best of? Yeah, there we go. We're having a little break for the summer holidays because we're too busy with the kids Marks at the World Cups We're having a little couple of week break Here are some of the best ofs John Bishop, Hell how are I? Hud This is quite exciting for us because we see we've seen you in another world now. You're the John Bishop from comedy that we know and love, but now you've got your foot in the right hand lane of Hollywood and you're doing press for like a big Hollywood movie where normally it' be your standout Who have we got today?ave we got the Hollywood John Bishop, who have we got y Joh B. Comedy Jhn Bch should wouldn't be here. L. Yes, New one they are. We have done six hundred shows. I've never been on. You ask never asked No I've got the tr send me a text. I bet you haven't. I bet you haven't I bet we have John We havext askive me. Of course we had a lot of requests as well. after your documentrated someone out, a lot of requests we' asked before then And after, but let's facease it, you don't need any help You't believe this. You wouldn't believe this. Have you been lying Now, look, this isn't even a lie. This is mad. Be look at the bottom thing. I've sent it When Hey May, I hope you're well. Would you fancy coming on the podcast? I' do with Becket about parenting? It's an easy forty five minute chat. Comlain about being a parent and of course, you'll be a perfect guess if' have Michael Sheeen,obie William, Jon Ros, etcetera. So it isn't shit and you can promote anything you want orn't sent No eleven says Oh Josh L it? I never got the lvers. Oh I am so happy! From the second of june twenty twenty three I mean, you never tried twice twentyge. W was that twenty one? twenty twenty one or twenty three. twenty twenty. twenty one twenty twenty one. twenty twenty one was only a year in. Yeah, only a year in. Only a year in And now And now you're gracess with your I imagine contractual obligations I listen them swats have never asked me. they don't want me on they don't want sent Becket Bishops ghosted me, Bishops absolutely gost. That is so funny, isn't it? Oh that's really person a b foot. because it is funny because obviously with my stand up, I've spoke as you have about having kids and all that stuff and I've listed this a few times I've I've obviously just not bothered. Oh, at least we could put that the. the best thing that ever happened We don't look bad. you don't look bad. We don't look bad. I feel great now. I think' me and him bumped into each other I glancedly. I was go I just that's you wrong. I was tw. So we thought you'd ghosted us, but we'd actually not well, not ghosted you just not invited us. Yes, sorry. never We didn't We wanted you We thought we've had a five year beef, but now let's. This feels Yeah, this feels like we' settle something, not it Yeah Yeah. How many kids you got John? Let's get out of the way. three. Th ages. Joel's thirty one. thirty one twenty nine Daniels twenty eight. I don't want to startop that now we know that we don't all hate each other, but you look good your skincare regime on. My skincare regime. I got asked that on another podcast what my skincare regime was I actually invited you. Jo Yeah Yeahah they roll over it. This is true this. I haven't washed my face for years I don't use soap and I found I was allergic to soap when I was younger so I mostost days, if I wash my face at all it's just with water. And then but I've always moisturized. Right, Okaykay. Always moisturized, but don't you all of this Thrubs and all that. I don't really get into all of that. What moisturure he? U what am I using at the mom? Whatever'sday? like a Kels st but I did that. No let me think of a brand you might send some shit Felsad. I use some of my wife's moisturizers but you' got to be careful because some of it has like the tannin in Oh yeah. the tinting and you ask start a g ea well and then it escalates into a pull and b ye Okay, so water and a moisturizer. Yeah, yeah, that's it to be honest. So yourre kids But also also the other thing is I've never smoked. And I don't eat meat. I haven't eat meat forty years. Just meat make your face go I don't know S some no some people have said that that that eating meat canan atrify your skin? I don't know. Do you drink? ye. actually in. I got that. We had interview Ray Bradfer, I'm not sure it'sone out yet. He did your tour support. Yeah ye. And he said he supported Frankie Ball for weeks and you sort of just took him to the gig, brought him back and then went by Frankie. And then the first gig you went D to go pub. He went I drink himood yeah. He said how generous you are, you looked after ding all his mates and took him out till five in the morning. Oh yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. raiseed a great lad. a great lad and his moment dad is so for. He raised dad is so foroty because I went to his deaath cllub So for people who don't know raise M and dad a deaf And so Rises first language is sign language And he took me to his dad's death Club in in Glasgow thinking I'd know enough sign language to be able to get by Jesus Christ because their generation rais raised does generation They don't sign the spell Everything's despell really fast and the problem is I can't spell in yet because that's my form of discture. I can't spell so When I do sign language, any timee someone' Oh God, I can't spell it. You'll have to write that p down can't fucking. I can't spell in me yet Oh But you he took me to his deaf club, his dad and and it's so funny being in a room full of all the deaf people You you know what I mean?? Like being in a room with your granddads but the sign and no one w and then they're like He's so funny, but hisad's got a really dry sense of humid. Yeah. You did this incredible documentary, which I did text you about Yeah through? Yeah, they did go through. About your son, which was just one of the best documentaries I've seen in years. Oh, thank you. I loved it. So your son is going deaf or he's m Joe lost his headiring when he was about fifteen, sixteen and it fluctuated so he didn't go deaf F fluctuated over a period of time, which was difficult because he was a teenager. Yeah. And so you know, you think your teenagers aren't listening to yet anyway Yeah he wasn't because he couldn't hear. But also when he was speaking he'd speak loud because he couldn't hear his own voice. So it sound like he was sholling at us all the time. So and we went through this awful, awful period And it was an awful petive As a parent, I did what men do is we'll fix this Yeah. I'm really If I look back on it, if I could have any period. O would my life again it would be that period Wh I think I would be a better dad Because I didn't just put my arms around them I didn't And really Soosa did, but I don't think I always asked him. How he was adjust, all right, well, that's not working. Let's fix that. So we went through the process of trying to find The reason for it, et cetera and And he ended up being diagnosed with a rare autoimmune condition and whether that diagnosis was completely right or what? you'd never know, but in the end his heading is stabilized to about seventy five percent loss. With hearing aids, he can hear conversations and he's brilliant at lip read and you know, if an alarm went off, he wouldn't need But butes so is within the band of conversation that is go But it meant for the period of time as as a family It was difficult because You know, you don't know anyone of that world. You don't know and because If he was deaf, You say, okay which was a deaf person, but he wasn't deaf. Yeah could hear but he couldn't but he couldn't go to Gladasby. He wouldn't go to Glasdombury He wouldn't go to a nightroom su so youetre in this thing that's so good. a long time, I think to disolve, but one of the things that thought it might be a way of I don't know' communicating better would be and also because of his is hair loss may become complete because we don't really know ye why it started And that's again, that's an anxiety that I've perhaps not always understood that he's lived thinking that one day might wake up and be completely deaf. Yeah Yeah That's too tough for anyone to take And and not at times like he he's He's always he's brilliant mimic and hed be a brilliant actor but he's always held off because he's thought whatver can't hear what's being said and thankfully he's now emmbracing that he's going to start going forward and doing stuff like that. he's just sort of gained his confidence over time. But it's took time and But we did this documentary in the documentary, the premise of the documentary would be that I would learn enough sign language. T to do it gig to a deaf audience Yeah. And And when we were making it, he said, Well, you need to explain why you've got this interest because I was trying to do it I suppose learn about that community and maybe show him that there was a community out there So we got involved in it and it became a thing where we both were learn sign language at the same time It was tough. It was an odd documentary because You know as a father and son We've not always been able to talk and then doing it via a documentary. That's why it was the best good documentary as well. It felt real, you know, it felt so Like I was really impressed by how much you're exposed of your relationship and yourself. And like, you know I thought you both came across so brilliantly in it because you're showing that kind of regret or fallibility or dealing with that situation and then t ye Being a parents is so odd because You want to be so good at something you don't know how to do. And you know It took us five years to get that That's exactly n only that textter got through five years ago. Exactly. Just think of the lessons you've got take. You've got have had the older appearance and gone five years. No, you arent. So weird old parenting in a world we didn't live in. Yeah. You know what I mean? social media now So Rcial media algorithms, noise, expectation, body image, all of these things and you know, I'm thinking, you know I'm thking yeah, I't got leukem,. You got to wear a age and for him like as a teenage boy, all of a sudden he fucking stands out and he's massively different and And I just I just And I'm also older. Yeah You know what I mean? D like holding forty now. And how all do your or kids eight and ten And forty two and Um Yeah, yeah. So I was twenty seven when J was born You know what I mean? I was thirty one by the time we had three . Yeah, I'm fifty nine now. and so When you're fifty nine, you'll be a better version of yourself because that's the you just know more Yeah And you' you're soft there and I think It's not that you love more. You can't love more. you understand a little bit The language of it is Hey, it's Kelly Rowan. You may not know this, but I have eczema. so I get how it can steal your time. 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Ask your doctor about ElS and visit FpllS dot com or call one eight hundred Lillily RX or one eight hundred five four five five nine sevenenty nine Running a small business means I wear lots of hats. When I put on my hiring hat I can count on LinkedIn hiring Pro to make it easy. LinkedIn Hiring Pro helps manage my hiring workflow, puts my job post in front of a unique network of professionals, and matches me with the best candidates for my business I can also share my job with my network. No other job site lets me do that. No wonder most small businesses say they'd use LinkedIn Hiring Pro again. Hire right the first time Post your job for free on LinkedIn today at linkedIn. com slash quality Your summer weekends fill up fast, but Crocx has your back. Road trips, beach days, last minute getaways, whatever's on the agenda, swing by your local store and find your new goat too Try it, style it, make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. it shows off Wock out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest crox store today Let's talk about your kids. Okay Y Two kids I have two. The Wikipedia wasn't updated. Yeah. I don't know why? do you know what? Wikipedia is weird. Like some of things are onong now. I'm like I be hagggy becausecause of my ey now, don't A strong Wikipedia. I don't know who's updating that. Who updates it The people fans. Fans. so It was so good for Wikipedia at points that I thought my gosh, she's written her ownikipedia. I swear to God I have not you write the right amount of kid. Exactly true. True. That's true. There you go. I to wrember with two kids when you've got two really extreme fans. I do. I'm on a telegram with them actually We' werere a telegramamm. You were a telegram I don what that means. Do you not say thegrramans? It's a social media goosh, It's a group where you can connect with fans on a devel. Like a WhatsApp group Very much so, but not so personal becausecause you can't see numbers. what kind of can they reply? C can' ye Yeah yeah, it's like a proper ide it's you. Oh yeah they know its me. It see who the person is We just chat rubbish, to be honest. should get telegram. You should. Parent inhle telegrraam. Yeah. I do feel like your followers might be quite unhinged though. I'd a bit worried. things do parenting, there's always was to five percent that arere quite intense, either way. with parents, but I feel like when it's in a public forum, someone's always got something to say. That really doesn't annoy me. Like if you're on TikTok And it's like a parent in video Oh my God, they just They're awful.ments They're the worst trollals of all, I think. A lot of them are like, you know, know it all parents. But you'll get grief for like, say, for example, if I went on Tikok and said, Oh, I took my daughter to the park went on the side, she only slipped off and like hit her head and someone would go, terrible pare. or they would go, Oh panderin, might cry and she cried. You not really Yeah really triggers people No, don't don't get a telegram. I think that trigggers people the most is seeing mums do the cryout method Like if you're letting your child Yes that is a that is So how you you've got years old? My children? No. I have an eight month old. Yeah. And Tari, my daughter. three year old? And a two year old. two year old. TJ. So So where are they at this moment? Yeah R right now, TJ's at nursery and Tari's at home with her dad Well for that Mond day out splittit in the worst day. Noveryone you' so pleased to be here. You to be here? I got the call was I here See you later guys, I'm off to work. who would be the default parent? You you split in at fifty? Be fair we split everything. Because we both kind of work from home. My husband is like a car content creator. He's incredible He's a really famous TikTok gu likeike when we're the street, people push me out of the way. I really. Yout know who What's his name? Tommy? Tommy long time So digress. you mix it you Combine your parenting, becausecause you're both working from home Yeah With your job then if you're writing songs and stuff or producing. Yeah, is that not one of those things where you need to disappear in? I one hundred percent. It's really hard. There's different elements to what I do. If I'm finishing a song tweaking it, then my kids can be in the room.. My daughter Tari is so growly though. Pat She growls all the time. You sampling her? I actually have. I really really have. I don't get why she's so growlly. She's drinking. She's been growling since birthday. survive. So my brother Joe, was always like's what growling me growl. She growls, but he was always like quite a miserable child. Really? L My mum was saying he was always like Yeah, quite c. kids are just on their own energy. She's really happy though, but she just growls in happiness, she growls This be Have you seen? It's really weird Beatles film where they're making let it be and there's a bit where they're listening back And Linda McCartney's son or daughter, I think it is a daughter. I think say Linda McCartney sausag is sitting. Carney sausages sitt. I can't hear anything, Linda. La. It willll never take off. I can't hear anything. Linda's daughter' is in the mixing room just playing around them. and I just thought, that must be so important Do you know what? It's not one of those jobs where I think you can bring kids to work very easily, like it's just not that kind of you do need to kind of be in the zone and focus and be able to like have wonderful melodies come into your head without your child screaming at you Yeahah. That's quite hard. But I tend to work out of the house if I'm going to a session. So if I'm with an artist in the room I'll go to like where I'm now like a studio. Yes. But if I'm home, it's I'm my zone and' It's bit like laying down a track. It is can you lay something down for me now? But the beats love. Are you looking something for us? No, no, I can only talk But it's difficult though, if you are a comedian Yeah because if you introduce to the world as a comedian, you cant do anything that's serious Greatest album of all time I still don't think if I released it now. We wouldn't take you seriously. No. No, even if it was pound for pound the best. We would't. Yeah. That's actually really sad, isn't it? Yeah. I know it's's my absolute trauma because you should see the songs I'm sitting on. I feelel like it's kind of like Harry Potter. I feel like Danel Radcliff could never be anything else. And he didn't really shoot up enough to be Harry Potter, did he that's the elephant the room,n it? He's too little. I thought he meant that I I He didn't do up heroin. thought was meant I thought it was like a child In the books Harry Potter turns into his six foot to He does still strng Yeah he's not. That even by she's a lovely little lovely little fllow. So Talk to me about having an eight month old. Yeah. What's your day like You know what? I think because this is our second child, it's chill Like because I know who I am now I really I careess It really just to stop there in a bad way, though. you're not overly worried. That's what we were And the key for me was with her. I sleep trained her. Oh Really? My gosh. So before we get into this, can you tell me what you did with the first one? And then we did with the second? to TJ. He was just kind of, we were so, you know cautious about everything. everythingthing was life w day. Oh my gosh, he's got a rash. Oh my gosh, it goes A andE. L we were ridiculous. Oh yeah we were that. You can't touch him be like then I was literally like oseted. Really? Yeah, it was so, so stupid. When I look back I'm like, Ohh my God, what was I doing? It was the first time you' know any different?. If my parents came to the house and I washed their hands, I would breathe fire on them. like How dare you touch your child? What were your parents' reaction to that wereere they like was rolling their eyes me Be their generation was. And Tommy's even worse than me. My husband is even worally He is like hyochondriac, literally. Sry how as you call? They're supremely clean. You get them clean like once every four d, threeree four days Yeah Josh's is an absolute shit.ing st. Okay When we got our cat creomated ur cat died and they gave us the fot. The food was costing us too much. and there was two levels of fee. One was ashes and the other was the ashes of your specific cat. So some people who can't afford it are just paying all the cats are going in and then you just get a bit ofic cat Just get some generic cat ashes was sh about that dog. We had a dog.'s very sweet dog was my wife's dog originally. and she had diabetes. And so we had to give these you inculin ins. It was quite a responsibility. Yeah. And we went on holiday and we were nervous about going holiday. so we left it with the breeder. lady that knew the dog really well. and We went away, we came back, we went to go and pick the dog up and she said I'm afraid the dog died. I didn't want to phone you because D't want to sport a holiday, but your dog died and she handed us a receipt to go and pick up the ashes from the ts. Oh. And charge us for the kenling. Not Not the holderation No Up uill death. No. Yeah. And was it a diabetes death W was in for not being on the thegs but we haven't had the results of the inquest I don't think is the vet equivalent of Quincy kind of turning up right or you know, CSI, whatever it is, you know. So Harry, how many kids you got? And if you got a dog? Well one of a time, guys. Sorry. What have you learned over the last four years last time I was here. What' is the first time've done in person? We did it on Zoom Yeah he was in your. I was listening to it on the way in because I was trying to remember what I'd talked about. Oh yeah, yeah. So you've got three children. There's something you' said that always sticks with you. Oh've got before you say anything, I've got a message for you from my Oh Oh She said to me, what are you doing? I said, Oh' she said, whyy are you in the outfit How And she said I thought that was over. I said, No this stuff Are you tempted to drop the outfit though, or it will forever be the outfit? Because it's just easier It's easier to you put it on. is it? Anyway she I said, I'm doing that parenting healthy. She said, yeah, I got a message for those two. She said parenting heouse, she said any wife of a comedian will know who does the parenting It's not the comedians. Oh my word. Well, Ill tell you what. She comes from grim firsthand experience. I tell what she'd like to buy, Lou Beckett's book called V. This' refult parent and she's written a book very much about that.. Ab being the one that does all the parents. And do you feel that's fair on you, H? Comedy widow Yeah, absolutely. Yeah Yeah. But do you feel like you've done more parenting now that you're older and the kids are older But I've stopp parenting now. How'll have you. Yeah How old are your kids? It had a cutoff. I said you stoped parenting at twenty I think it's twenty one, isn't it you come of ageian? you're kids I'm kidding I'm kding you know I think you are really. You I think you have actually you've drawn an imaginerary line and if they come home and go, Dad, this is going up. Yeah, well good for you. Yeah my wife because our kids live near us Yeah. we see a lot of And she said again tonight How old are they? twentyw eight twenty seven and twenty one R. This is what I remember vividly of the first one. I don't know why it stuck with me. Was you saying that you weren't sure about having a third j? That's right, yeah. But then it was the best decision you ever made. Oh whyy are you thinking about? No,. But there's something that stuck with me about that. I tell you what it was It's very raad that you see into the soul of Harry Hill, the person. Do know I mean it felt like a genuine moment of deep emotion from you. Yeah ye. Well, I mean Yeah it was a blur that because we had two, you know, we had the Irish twins thing the Europe between them and it was just like absolute absolute, you know, you had that double pram that got ground trying to get that into the, you know, An automatic door. What life trying to move that into through the do you approach the door, you know, with the double prayer and you got toort maneuver it in, the door shuts or you got to get it So was it So was it sorry, driver and passenger or front and back? double pram is it front back? sideide by side? Side by side. Yeah, side by side Yeahah side by side. Yeah, the double deck came in, I think after wee. Yeah, but also' unfair for the undercarriage child just looking at the are so the backet is not very see anything of this. No. The back of a pant of wine the. Briefly is the buggy board. rememember the buggy board? We had a buggy board that was fun They don't really want to go on that the first couple of runs They want to go in the pram. Yeah. Yeah, because it stops pic to laugh very quick. Yeah And it's obviously it's much easier if they're in a pram. Yeah. but you do see, I think it's always funny you see those kids sort of wandering around Blue waterater or something and there's like a great big kid in the fram. like a seven year old or something dummy andney, you see ye so much walking you do get eleven year olds in the pram still because they're so tired Yeah So I went to your show at Shepherd's Bush. Hell yeah. I briefly dropped into the after drinks, but you didn't show I was there I know, but you ran off with me. Yeah, ye. yeah. No I remember coming around. Itt long enough for him. I gave it twenty minutes. I was like, he's obviously giving some kind of producer a roasting backstage for Mr. Q. Yeah you get this thing where you know, people come, friends come to see the And then The speed with which they find their way backstage is a bit of a winding up to me. You come off you' drenched in sweat, you just want a breather Kock knock knock on the door. Yeah. Oh, hello. The reason I bring this up is your daughter was there. Yeah. And I thought, what's it like? They were all there, All three of them. All three of them. One was dressed as Stoofa, one was dressed as Gary, and one was dressed as the ice cream. Oh wow, they all took part in the show Yeah, the end they come on as the Oh so and what's that like? Is that a very It's been brilliant. Yeah. So they did a whole tour No, they no not at such a loose end as that. can go on stage as well. My wife wouldn't. She doesn't like coming and see the show let They'one being in it. She goes whereere you going? So I've got she a Sush tonight Bind and the Alfa changeed into it when together. No, because you know, like I said before, I was sort of discouraged them coming along the kids. Yeah. And this time because they're older, they came along and it was just great because they because you can't see their face so. You know, Winnie's in in the she's twenty seven, She's in the stoofer costume. Yeah. She can see me, but I can't see herace. But somehow just by the way she's dancing, I know it's her.. And and I would always kind of forget because they would come maybe, you know maybe The youngest did more maybe did about two weeks of it on and off. And I paid. I think I did say I was going to pay them. I didn't. And then Freddie would come on as Gary. So she's got the thing and Gary's head sticking out the top, so you can't see it. And she would come and she said to me, I'll come on and I'll maybe do a little dance for you and And I thought, Oh yeah, okay she comes on And of course they're her hands. Yeah they look like Gary's hands. And she just takes my hands and you just I just know it's F's hand. Oh It's actually really aecting and sweet. Yeah. And it's the first time I thought, maybe you know'd be great if one of them did go into it, but None of them got into performing. No. They're all funny, but I mean, ye'ing everyone's kids are funny aren't they? I don't think we talked about this last time, because I don't think I realized it. but you've got hell of a kind of kid following through Junior Bakoff. Yes, ye. Well, I had kids following me from you'd been framed, yeah, yeah and TB Bur, you know It's funny on this last tour I't Tour regularly for a while. Yeah. And I get these guys coming they twenty five year olds and they again Hurry you were my childhood. And can I hug you? Oh this? Yeah. They like twenty five late twenties, maybe. Yeah. And then you get these you know little and sort of ten year olds or. Oh wow. yeah you did a podcast sort of aimed at younger kids and you got a new podcast coming out that's still family friendly. I love the way He's good isn't?s very good? He did a great one the other day. What was that one? That was really good. Oh, the Prince and Nazim Hammed. It's so easy for me. I don't like doing it all the time. Well, let me jump on that. Yeah, I've got a new podcast. Are you going to go down the barrel for this? Yeah, it straight down the bazer. Is that my barrel? I've got a new podcast out It's called the Harry Hillhow. We're video you know, like everyone's videoing. Yeah yeah And I basicallyV show now baby, you've got your all control over. It's basically cheap TV. It's sort of repeating history. So you know once upon its own there was radio. and then someone said, Oh we could film it and that was TV. and now then it was podcast. Oh, hey, we could film it. something Come on guys, wake up. And we're already doing this. So I mean we'll just fall in. We all just fall in and. Oh you got a video? Yeahah, right we video it. And because you were doing it from home before It's a real drag for you, right? I live in Devon now as well. But actually the interviews are a lot more fun We're loving the face to face interviews. I know you say that Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha rappuccino drink? or a sweet vanilla? smmooth caramel maybe, orr a white chocolate moocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Rappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. My slide Nglhing Eater! It's me, the My slide Nglhing Eater We don't need the jingle twice. Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights, and rental cars. Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to sixty percent off hotels in the prriceline app. Tim Fine. No one deals more deals than Please stop.ine Toue. P line Flies taking over your kitchen, meet STEM's flying insect light trarap An easy mess free way to capture flying insects like house flies, fruit flies, gnats, mosquitoes, and moths Powered by UV light STEM's light trap attracts, traps and kills ninety nine point nine percent trapped insects, all without chemical insecticides. And it works twenty four seven. No mess, no noise, no odor. Live life never buug. STEM. Visit STEMorbugs dot com to learn more I was teenager. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I mean how old were you? I was eighteen. eighteen ye Still in school. Stay in school Fly in school Wow. What the baby are getting pregnant. Bair both I respect it. I definitely wasn't getting anyone pregnant at. Well, I mean, I was shocked. I was very shocked. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah. It wasn't such sort of a planned family at that point. No. It was not. And I told people I actually had heard tell of a girl who was like nineteen who had a baby was with the boyfriend and she was planning another one. I was like, she needs to be committed. I was like, she's insane. I was like, that's You know, I was giving it all the big where where where and then sure was me the following week. Oh. not on the cards at all. What was your plan before the baby arrived? Was you going study more or did you want to go into comedy or did you know what was going on? My plan was I was gonna to live at large. I had p did. You never lived at large? For I had two months. You had two month I had two months there where I went hell for leather. I just lost my mind because my parents were quite strict. Yeah ye. So I had a summer away And I went L I went belubers. Do you think them being strict sort of was counterproductive? Yes. It was. Although they were strict on my brothers as well and it worked out with them. but my mom said that I definitely was the hardest because when they say Well, obviously I got pregnant but before that. I was the hardest because they would say, you know, you can't you're not doing that or whatever. I would then come down and present a case of why I should be allowed. why Well They said that would never I would never let it go and I just can't see used to lie to them. They toald I was like professional. bowling Equator. I mean, I was't they made into films I was supposedly seeing. like I was drinking a field the whole time. I just had all these made up friends, all these places I was going and I was just drree I was having a great time. So the plan was ust to hot. D you drink it in feelield? Jell? That's what happens when you're drinking it feels. There's no plan, but I would definitely wasn't gonna like yeah, probably go to college, but probably go to London. Yeah Get the London Look. The London Look was big at the time. noob onebody knows what the Londook was. You know like on the Rimal ad It was quite aspirational to London. Let's go to London and now it didn't happen. So like into that very early into that school term, say I got pregnant in the August, then in September. So that's like your big final year, you're going to do a stateus exam everything rides on that state exam in terms of like collollege university course you can get. Yeah. It's like a big, huge thing. And then I'm pregnant that year So I'm pregnant, all girls school So who could it have been? Yeah, I know. that was the other thing. When I say to when I had to tell my mother I'm pregnant I also had to say like I've had sex. That was actuallyer thing. Yeah, I don't think she was waiting for that part. No, but I was embarrassed to of class. 'cause she's like who You know what I mean? W? Yeah. Wow. And was was it like a boyfriend? It was like a summer. If this is too invasive' like a summer. Beuse you see, this what happens if you have a child young. Yeah, you have to be You have to learn to be quite open about it Yeah because everyone wants to know. Yeah because everyone thinks of that could have been me. whether it was like in their twenties or whatever or that happen my friend, Sarah O my brother, John had a kid when he, you know everyveryone knows a girl at school that that'sort happening in the area. Yeah. So everyone always wants to know. So you kind of you get very comfortable with telling everyone Yeah of course. Your story. So he was like a summer kind of dallance. So like very into him. for like Nas. You not you're not pushing through that as a relationship, are you Theres' so much you can do. Was he at school at the time? He was like I think he had just finished and he was yeah, he was going to go to college. Right ye. So I met him. I was I'm working in a cheer ip shop,ip shop, Tip shop. Yeah And it's the night he's getting his exam results. So that's the night I met him.' S bigger then Yeah one. We were seeing each other for a while. Yeah yeah, Aloa. So I seen him for a while, living in sorry I're just actually remembering the story. This is correct. Lving in a mobile home. He was living in a mobile. No I was. You was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. near your parents house or your So my friend's parents had in Wexford. You like by the sea. Yes. haveave like a caravan or whatever. So me and my friend were living in that. working No, I'm not. I'm just trying it feels like a pitch for a sitcom idea. So But it's your actual life and I need to remember to be respectful. because I'm really trying my best not to say something. I'm not very good at pokerphos. you my friend are living in the mobile home carav. You're in a caravan in Wexford, you work a chip shop. This child walks in he's getting his G results. And you two are loving each other And so And does he move into the mobile home? No, he doesn't move in, but we see no, no, it's not that ridiculous. comeome on. I see I'm kind of seeing him a bit while I'm down there. But I have to go home because I'm not finished school yet. Yeah. So the end of I have to go home. And how fast home? Oh like it's like an hour and a half. You know what I mean?ike we're just down like like you know, seaside down. I go back home and then very quickly I'm back at school And I find it very quickly. So how hard do you tell him I told him U because Ielt I think from watching like films or something, I was like, okay, you have to tell the dad He's the next person that needs to kind of know. Before your mom. Before my mom My friend who I was with knew. Yeah. So this poor friend reading in the newspaper of the chip show this poor friend of mine I mean, I told her everything you know what I mean? she's my confant. She was there. Like I mean, she wasn't in the room, but she basically would have been like there's no sound proof. There a. And she knows. So she knows, right? Yeah. She was with his friend J with this friend. Oh, this sack she Well I tell you this bit, this is the funny bit. So we're in the mobile home the night I got pregnant, right? So I'd seen him before or whatever We are kind of like par Ghy s. cararing off wife it's only one condom we do. We kind of say he's gonna to get it. So me and him get it. She doesn't get us. Oh my go. Right We get us Do does work Ta Yeah Yeah. one condom. And you got it.. still pregnant. Jesus, whats this guy got these his ns? No powerful stuff. So she knew the whole story, right?. And off course she's like you, she's trying not to sit there kind of just go fucking escape. Sorry I've been smiling too much are She's st away the condom Faulty condom is giving you an air of oversecurity that she didn't have. Yeah. So she's got lucky by not having the faulty condom. Yeah, yeah. What is it faulty? I think he put it I think he made a faulty. I think He put it on wrong. I think he put it on his head. put on his nose Because of my room in the mobile home, the light didn't work. So was pitch black. So he didn't know was penut l I've not been fighting ever. In the dark, I know where my dick is. I've never lost it on. All these years I've been taken off from It is defense Dark Oh wow. So but you's a kid as well. you' experienced in condoms? I have a clue. You know what mean on TV, did you ever see that? It's still not hundred percent know was to grrassity junior high, they're constantly putting condoms and bananas Where are we going to do that in school? I think we should know that. A condom and a banana in daylight's a lot different than a Dick in the dark in Wexford. in the school and now we're going to turn the lights on for the next lesson the field With the lights off. T I do with the lights off? So how did he take it? So I found him And very it's actually now not funny at the time. It's very funny now to look back at it obviously Chris Rcked was a bit that I then l or discovered years later when a woman brings a man to tell him that she's pregnant. If the guy's response is What are you going to do You know you have. And that's what he said to me. He was like, what are you gonna to do? Yeah. I was like, Well I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know. I was like, I'm going to have the baby or whatever. Yeah. And he was like, okay. And that was kind of itt like. because he was like, arere you coming down? I think it was like, you know, because we were still in touch actually we were still in touch and trying to think of ways to meet up And I was say like, o you'd like I'm pregnant And then just this big silence he's still there. Oh He's like Yeah So what are you going to do Oh God Oh my not worse something. I was toally very grown up like things with about messages. doesn't have he's the first person you' spoken to so you haven't even kind of spoken to your parents at this time. No, no, no And I don't have a plan Nobody knows the school don't now. My parents up now, noobody knows. Oh myd. I'm telling him was if mean you now. Obviously it's been a long time where you laugh about now, but you would completely devastated and panicked and like big stop. Yeah Oh, like panic. Yeah harnish like I just was on auto p for like all that time. Like when I was growing up, like all girls school, you would chat about it as like, o go, what would you do if you got pregnant? Yeah. What would you do if you got pregnant kill myself It's so lie. Oh my go. You know what mean like we like that is the worst thing that this is like, you know, Nauuties. there was now like abortion wasn't available in Ireland. Iland as well.' it's a level up island, I think with Yeah. you see, and as well, we wouldn't have we would have had like laundries up until the nineties. So now I don't know anyone who went to a laundry, but you know what I mean? What's the laundry sve m The laundries are, did you ever hear of like the Mag laundries? It would have been a thing where Back in the day in like Catholic Ireland, if a woman had gotten pregnant. Yeah, she would go to a laundry to work to be put to work, so it was run by nuns She would go there to work in a laundry, you know, like a laundry laundry. bedheets and all that. and then her baby be adopted through the laundry. So that would happen women who say were from like very poor backgrounds or if they had been abandoned. So their their family was like could gu There you go And they'd have choice. they'd have to give up the baby. They'd have to give up the baby. Oh God. Or like so say, And this would be like, you know, all sorts of women would say If it happened a young girl. And if the family if the family didn't have the money to maybe send her off somewhere, you know, like say maybe to an anunt somewhere else. that she could hide away of. Was that was sort of family shame Fily shame to do something with the baby. So now there was only, I think, like it had all been winding, winding down. But you know, like that building was there was still one in Dublin. Yeah. and you would still know people that that was their li. You would hear stories from your own mom of, you know, friends that had gone away You know, there'd be lots of st lots of adoption stories or that women had gone away you know, may not have been in a laundry would have gone away to like, say, I think it would have been quite common to go to like a kind of a nursing home Yeah. stay there, have the baby. I was away Work Yeah, Jeez. You know, G it. So I'm not saying that was happening when I was growing still you tell your mum and dad about it. this was a thing that happened. and you're eighteen year old kid. Yes. So how did they take it? They were actually grace They were great. So like now I knew it wasn't going to be because they were going to kick me out or they were going to feel shame. I just I knew that they would feel like Oh like everything's going to be so much harder for her now. Yeah you know, it's going really it's going to really change everything My mom took it really well. I wrote her a letter and I like left the letter and ran out the door. And then she came and found me I just hg ont to my friend's house across the road and she just came over. You know what I mean? I runan away. Like a child Yeah. It. I ran away to the end of the road, like kind of thing. And she came and found me and she just said She gave me a big hug and she was said, Come home and you're ready My friend was like, what's going on here? And then my dad she rang my dad and I like o becausecause I'm a only girl and I was like, oh girl he's gonna flip. And he'd like would have been like one of those dads like, cllose the door. You know those dad Dad's gonna know. But he was like, o, I quite like the idea of being a granda. So they were really nice about it. but then once I told them they went into like action mode, right? What do we have to have to do to school have to go to the doctor, to, you know, And I'm just worried about my final exam in school because I I want to get that done. So it's like if you get that done, it does give you options in a couple of years time, doesn't it to defer Yes. stududying when the baby's older. Yeah, you can do all that then. L you need to have that to move on to third level education. So I want to get that done dates are very tight So I think in the end I was basically, I had my daughter and then thirteen days later I start the exams fuc have to do those exams Yeah. Like English paper One happens on the Monday morning at nine o'clock. you have to that exam then. Brian. Yeah. there's you know, I still don't think there is 'use it's the same exam. so obviously the same exam and it in the case and you know there's no dispentation for someone that's just had a baby? No. And actually when I went to the maternity hospital, like when I was doing my checkups and it was getting really close Yeah. and I was worried about So you were gonna do the exam Oh yeah, d the exam So say originally with her due dates, I would have had four extra dates. Yeah. So say she was due on the eighteenth, but she ended up being born on the twenty second. So I'm going in for appointment on the eighteenth, I think Yeah. and it's my due day. So I'm like, okay, well, they're going to tell me to stay because she's due today and I have an exam to do. And I was like They just did the exam., everything great. fantastic. they sry It's my due day today What's going on? And she wass like, No, it's fine. Like thiss totally normal. And I was like, ye know, boy I have to do my leaving cert. And she was like, D't worry. She's like plenty of girls that have done their leaving cert in here And I say I'm not doing why leaving in the matern on the maternity I say now. So I start freaking I was start freaking out at them not freaking out. I was like. But then so four days later I had her and enough time to get back in and do the exam. Where was the baby when you were doing the exam? Yes, the baby, my little baby. I have have my baby. Al so most people are juggling, I might miss s ahead and do if I'm pregnant then. You' trying to get an exam. Yeah, I want to get that examine. because I want to move on. an exam. No I move on with be like Be I don't want to be a gown of still in school. Yeah Do know what I mean? I was just like, o no, this is too much No, it's a load of exams. So two you've two exams in English U you've like yourish basically everyone does. Is this equivalent of A levels? Yeah. so you do six, seven subjects. everyveryone does. Six, you take the Msr one, but most people do seven you have like your language You might have like a sence subject You know, And you're eighteen. You're eighteen, ye Yeah, you're like seventeen, eighteen, I'm eighteen. Yeah So this is so much you to sort of like deal with. Do you think When your daughter, you know who's older than that age now, she's twenty two When you saw at eighteen, did it sort of give you these mad flashbacks of like, oh my Godd, because when you're eighteen, you feel like the old because you are the oldest you've ever. Yeah like you old I I go back and do uniquig becausecause I see eighteen year olds. they're all rowdy, they're not they're scared little boys and girls. They're babies. Yeah Yeah. Oh, R like I tell you this Not only when she's eighteen She's in my old school So she's in I Alo In the exact same uniform. She's got red hair as well. looads of my teachers that I had.