Final Thoughts and Health

This episode is brought to you by Tesco Clubcard. Right now, exchanging at least five pounds in Club Card vouchers gets you double the amount with EasyJet holidays. Plus, if you book between the 2nd and 19th of April and travel by the 31st of October twenty twenty six and spend more than a thousand pounds on your holiday, you'll get a hundred pounds off with the code Tesco Save. Save now, Sunbave Later with Tesco Club Card and EasyJet Holidays. Full tease and Cs apply see Tesco dot com slash EasyJetHolida This episode is brought to you by Monzo. End of term is nearly here, Josh. Oh my word. Always a good time for kids to have a bit more freedom outside of their usual routine and even to start giving them some money independence with Monzo's free kids account. You can set regular pocket money schedules and one off payment for something like school holidays. Oh Rob, it's great. Oh, and you're not just handing over the reins either. You can set spending limits and get instant notifications when they spend so you can see live when they've blown it all on sweets at the corner shop. Monzo's award-winning kids account. Download your new favourite bank for children age six to fifteen, parent or guardian account needed first. UK residents only, T's and C's apply. This episode is brought to you by Booper Dental Care. Dentist appointments make a lot of us uneasy. In fact, more than half of us feel anxious about getting in the chair. But with clear explanations, reassurance, and even music, Boopa Dental Care is helping us feel a bit more relaxed about those all-import checkups and treatments. And with over 3 80 practices in the UK, plus a range of finance options that are making sure all of us feel at ease at the dentist. Search Booper Dental Care to find out more. This episode is presented by Voxel. So Josh, News UK have voted the new Vauxhall Frontera as the value car of the year 2025. Rightly so. And do you know why I can say that, Rob? Why? And you know this, I've test driven one. Oh yeah, and I've been test passenger. I got to drive the Frontera. Falls. A . The tech was so good, right, that it was just simple. I felt like it was my car the moment we were moving. Yeah? We had loads of boot room, you saw that. Oh, I had a little peek in the back. I was thinking this is perfect for a family. It was spacious, it was easy to use. And you know what as well? No offence. I wasn't too near you. No. There's so much space in the front. I didn't feel like I was touching you. I couldn't smell you. It was great. It's available in electric, it's available in petrol hybrid, the electric is cheaper. It is available from £23, 9 95 . Ah, that sounds like value to me, Josh. That's great value. Great value, top value. Do what I did, Rob. Test drive the new Voxel Frontera today. Discover more by searching Voxel Frontera online . Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with Kit Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whiticum? Josh Whiticum. Very good. Kit, can you say Rob Beckett? And Josh Willicum Sounds as one of the Muppets. This is my son Jude four and a half and daughter Kit almost two having go at saying your names. I think they've perfectly highlighted the difference between a first and second born. OG listener, whose kids are similar ages to yours, yep, it took me three years to send this in. Wow. Three years. So always helpful to hear similar parenting struggles and have a chuckle on the commute. Keep up the good work. Oh I couldn't hear Leicester. Too caught Leicester's a tough accent to get anyway. Now living in South East London. South East London . We've got Tom Davis on the show. Big booking. Big Tom. I think I don't know if I mentioned on here. The funniest thing I've ever seen on the internet is Tom Davis when he's trying to play golf with Jimmy Billard and tubes and he has a breakdown and meltdown and just goes off on one and it is one of the funniest rants I've ever seen on the internet. Wow. Have you not seen it? No, I I I the moment I saw the words Jimmy Bullard, I probably wouldn't have clicked on it. No, but he doesn't really talk in it. Oh okay, yeah. So it does sound funny. How are you, Josh? I'm very good, thanks. Yeah. You look full of beans. I am actually. I'm really looking forward to Tom Davis. I think he is . You know, it's I don't wanna it's one way you think I could probably just sit back and enjoy you. You're implying that you're tired and you just want Tom to talk and you can just nod. There no, I'm not sure. Do you need me to do you need me to take a little bit of the weight on the shoulder and let you Well you also marshal the midfield and you just play a free? What are we gonna ask him about? Don't think about that. No, do you not No Sometimes I do Have a conversation, man. Do you not do that when you approach every conversation? Not at all. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm gonna ask someone during their answer. Yeah. Sometimes I don't even listen and oh and I think I might just do something funny now 'cause I don't know what he's saying. And then he'll think, why didn't you do a joke then? Because I was in the middle of quite an important thing. See, let's let's choose something that you can just bring up out of nowhere at a a really point and see if he Um Well last time he spoke about his surrogacy journey, which is this one I think needs to be a bit more loose and a bit more Why don't you at some point just do a really a piece of stand up at us? A piece of stand at us. Like just a joke joke that is totally unrelated. Just barge in with it and see how it goes. So just a real like set up punchline down the line, like j even even on stage would feel like, oh he's doing a traditional joke. Yeah. There's a there's a joke there's a good joke, right? You you might I've got one I can do. Should I tease you in that? Well but I don't know if it'll have the same impact if you do it later on. So uh um uh thanks for doing this Tom. Um we we we obviously we love doing this podcast, but it's a bit depressing when no one comes. Reminds me of my marriage. I'm joking, I do loads. So talk us about surrogacy. Yeah, cool . Cool. Sorry. Uh well that's just I I I think I'm not gonna because he'll be confused. It'll take a lot of explaining. Yeah. Do you know what I'm gonna do? Do you wanna hear a good joke? So guy goes into a cafe. So you're gonna do one now? Yeah. Go on. So you s imagine Tom sitting there. Yeah. And he goes And I suppose that's when we imagined that we'll go through surrogacy. Yeah. And I'm gonna say that reminds me actually a guy walks into a cafe, right? Yeah. And there's a sign that says, um cheese rolls one pound. Yeah. Ham ham sandwiches two pounds. Yeah. Wanks five pounds. Yeah. Yeah. And he says, You the one that does the wanks? And she says, yeah. And he says, Wash your hands, I'll have a ham sandwich. I I I I think it would be really unfair just to do that at him. Do you know what I mean? Like he's come on. This is gonna be like a fun children. And then like out of nowhere I just do a weird joke about my marriage and wank and then you're doing like the ham wanking one and it's a great joke, but I don't know I don't think it's gonna be fair on him. No, it wouldn't be. I'm here to converse. You're here to converse. I'm here to have a conversation. Okay, if sandwiches come up, I'm doing it. If anyone mentions sandwiches, you can do that. Yeah. Okay. Okay . And that goes for every episode. Okay, next time someone mentions a sandwich. The next time anyone misses sandwiches, you do that joke at them. Okay. Including Tom, and if Tom doesn't, it rolls over. Yeah. You can't mention it or stir you can't steer it. No, I I promise I won't steer it. I won't just put all of a sandwich but if next time a guest mentions sandwiches or cafes , yeah , okay. I think it needs to be cafes, isn't it? It could be sandwiches. I was in a cafe and then you go, I'm I was in a cafe, it needs to be cafe. Yeah, okay, cafes. Or is sandwiches or cafes, what do you want? It's your joke. Cafes, let's do it. Cafes. Next time someone says a cafe and I'm not gonna steer it. And if Tom comes in, if we have a really important guest and it's like so it's like, you know, Jermaine Greer sits down and you go, where do you have lunch, Jermaine? Well yeah, she walks in with a coffee. Where'd you get that? Michelle Obama sat there. So with your security, what kind of places can and can't you go, Michelle? When you're when you're looking for the side. If you just want a quick hot drink. What if one of your security guards wants to get wanked off and have a cheese roll ? Okay, so next time a guest mentions cat now the what is the the the if it happened today it'll be quite fun because it's Tom, but another guest it could get spicy, depending on who it is. Exactly, and the other exciting thing about it is these don't go out in order. So you might have already listened to an episode and gone that is wild. What he said to Camilla , the Queen Camilla. He speaks to someone who's gone for a terrible divorce and just remember like he told me that he cheated on me with my best friend and we were sat in this cafe and Government Josh. Right, let's get Tom on and hopefully he's been to a cafe. Yeah. Tom Davis, welcome. You're sober. I'm sober, I'm just laughing. Part from the three Guinness. Yeah, apart from the yeah, a couple of Guinnesses. In Ireland. So you didn't drink for four years. Yeah. Did Oasis Sober with Josh? Yeah. Then you went to Ireland. We weren't together, we were we were the the adjacent roads. I've got no we've got some lovely pictures. Yeah. Hopefully he's in front of you. I I I was trying to do the banter of with Josh of 'cause Josh by the way knew every word. But I wanted to do a thing where I was just telling people, like, look at Josh, he he does he only knows the big songs but he knew of but one of my favourite things but I've known it's so many years but when I s he was so buzzed up when I saw him, he comes walking through this the bit that we're in and he's w walking towards me with his massive smile like a Cheshire cat towards me. And he's like Tom and all that and I'm like hey Josh we're chatting and then I looked round and I thought he was on his own and I went are you on your own and he went of course I'm fucking not and your mates were just chrissing people on the table, but for a little while I just thought he is a little buzzball of energy when he's excited by so that 's very up and down my life. Well you can fit in beautifully, but I just thought imagine coming here on your jacks and just being so fucking e ager. But like if I'd been on my own, I wouldn't have come over. I'd have gone, oh fuck, please God. I had two people with me watching Oasis who just seemed they were just it was like f they'd come just because it w yeah they didn't know they knew like literally four songs. And I'm I'm like you only know four songs. I'm not ice. I was like taking people out. I was looking round Ice . I was literally spent more time watching other people would see and go like shame on you. A real fan could have been here. It was just yeah. My my brothers were so pissed, the mates were so pissed that Tom Cruise was at the one we were at and he was at the bar with Goldie and they came out and went, oh shit she, went goldie at the bar. And I went to Tom Cruise. I went, Gold, I went, What, what? And he went, yeah, he's over there with that old woman. But there's Tom Cruise. That's incredible. Because yeah, that little hat on and I went and went, what? And he ran back. Did he ever notice his hat on? No but he had like a hat he was hot but it looked like a he looked like a little Did you did you bother the get a selfie with Tom Cruise? Oh mate, he couldn't even get his fucking phone out. They w they were drink we were drinking we d we met at midday and drunk, you had a very different experience, but we were fucking we had about eight pints of Guinness and got in the stadium, we're so pissed, we were trying to find the entrance to the seats we were in and we did two laps of Wembley before we realised we'd gone round it twice. But we couldn't find it, so we gave up and sat up sat above sat at a bar, had some drinks, and then we finally got in and then we were drinking rose but getting carafts of it. That's what Nor Gallagher would want. I was uh yeah, I was very much yeah, no booze, but just I I've got to say I just got so carried away with it. It's just weird to talk I I I you know, I talked to Rom about this, but he did no interest in IC. No, he's not he's not hip hop and he Yeah, yeah, but I I It's it's life affirming moment. Yeah, I I weirdly was like turning to people for about a week for a week or two after going, isn't it amazing because they were the first people who really sort of talked about emotion. Yeah. It's just when you start listening to their songs, I I cried twice during that. Did you cried? Yeah. When I turn my back on you. Yeah. Straight into tears. I turned back on you. I've got a great video of you. So you've got someone to do a picture of us, and this this lady's trying to take a picture and she's so drunk and she she uh's trying and she went uh at Paul Some point she goes, Oh sorry, it's a video and you just hear your voice go, Oh morning glory , oh up there. No videos during the show. No no, it's just . I was like, no, no, I went Roy Keane during the show. Did you? Yeah, no, I went Tom, Goldie. Go back to your seats. I'm trying to watch. No photos of you, please. Sit down, cruise. Go for a fucking run if you're bored. I really want to get a picture of the category. Tom, welcome back to the podcast. We've had you on before, but um it was on Zoom and it was a little bit more of a heavier one and we spoke a lot about your sorry. So let's see how heavy it gets. We don't have to go heavy again, we maybe go heavy. Do you want to apologize to Romesh publicly? Yeah, I did feel bad 'cause I sort of announced the surrogacy story here. Yeah. Um uh and it to be fair, that's about how I chose to announce it to the world. You know, obviously at the time I was on a tour as well I needed to sell some tickets. So I'm back on tour. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm back here again. Um but you know it was a heavy one. It was actually an incredible film I've got to say doing this and and the amount of people still now who reach out about that journey, which is, you know, kind of I guess why you do these and you talk about and and it I've got to give you both your flowers 'cause you're so the tour. The tour's the other reason you do it, isn't it? Yeah, I mean yeah the yeah, the tour is. Your new tour, Spudgun, which is the reason you're here. Yeah, yeah. And my daughter. Well do you know what, Tom? We'll give you the options you can discuss uh the importance of Saragosy or your tour today. It's not a definitely talk about the tour because I'll chat about the sorrows say and uh or just your door daughter in general or the tour. Um weirdly my daughter now basically is the tour. How old is she? Four. Why is it called spot gun? Is That was uh nickname given to me on building sites. Oh you you called After Bottom. I think it was yeah, After Bottom 'cause it was that character in Spug Gun. Yeah, who was a bit of a you know I suppose he was the idiot of the group in a sense, right? Spot gun from big sort of lumbering loser, yeah. Oh yeah. We goes one potato or two. Remember that? No. I love how you sort of said it in such a sort of big lumbering loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know you 're joining the bigger. And I know Lou Joy well enough, Rob, to know that you've described me that way at some point. Never. You're not. You're a very funny man, good friend, good guy. No, but I thought it was that, and then someone told me it was actually because they thought i it's what you called a younger man who didn't feel like he had like he wouldn't shoot sperm he'd shoot quite watery. I'm right. Yeah that And they were right. Yeah I'll take that. I'll take that. I have literally I I talk so much about this very subject in the new tour. Yes, I've got you put a segue in. So is that what the tour's about then? That that linked between that more about it's about the tours the tours about perception between that I'm just trying to get it back on track though. Um yeah but it's about uh the tours about perception but a lot of the tour I you know you've both got kids I think yeah you it's almost you can't help but a lot of the material linking back to having children. They just they're all every day there's something that you get with them that yeah becomes your material and it's they do funnier stuff than and she's a gra I mean How old is she now? Four. Four. So is she the year before school? Yeah, she's just yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's in a little nursery. How are you feeling about school? Uh I mean she's she's very much like I was in a lot of ways and with yeah. Seven foot. Yeah, she's no, she's six foot three at the moment. But you know, when she gets to eighteen we'll see. Uh she's um no she she she's her attention sp I mean she's four, but you there's an element of like yeah, she's she's a little comedian.' Ss veryhe funny. She she takes a piss and she has a joke. She's just learnt the word fanny. Uh American or British. I think it's w she watches a lot of Kaddashians. We we've got you know football dads. I'm looking at the Kadashians like sort of going Project Kim. Project Kim and get it right doing all make a movie tourist. But the thing is that everyone's an influencer now, so who are we influencing? Yeah, but the thing is we all influence each other so s in such small ways. You influenced me some day. I'd get influenced. I'd watch your goal, you you're now in the golf influence. Oh I'm golf influencer now, yeah. I've done two videos. That's the thing I find about being a dad now, is the I very idea of going out for four hours. Oh, I'm Yeah but yeah, but you're I couldn't I wanted to do it when my kids were your age, but now they're eight and ten and uh and the tour's calming down, I've got time 'cause they're both in school. My plan is to be able to go like drop the kids at school on a Monday and then go to the golf course straight after school drop and then pick them up and that'd be my day off 'cause it'll be a basic footballer now. Yeah. That's that's been that that when was it what do you want to be in your roller? I'm not even a footballer, I retired from yeah yeah that's the best job. Yeah, yeah, that is the best, yeah. So that's what I'm trying to how many days a week you're gonna do? Because didn't you know Jamie Redden that well? He does loads to stuff. Yeah, yeah, I don't think there's much since he's done his knees. But what I love about you as well, because you could be like retired footballer, but it's not like like Stuart Ripley. Like he won the Premier League but people were sort of like do you know what I mean you're not Yeah yeah I I wouldn't be go down as a sort of Wayne Rooney type, but he looks up retirements at him hard. I've got time now, they're both in school, but w when yours goes to school full time, you'll have so much time back. Pulling up at the school, golf bag in the back of your car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chuck 'em out, straight to the calls, high five a few of the guys. Yeah. Um probably receive some quite questionable political and racial views. Try and block that out and just pretend still down the fairway No, no, I honestly I'm not filming for Sky, I won't be bringing him down, so yeah. Yeah, so okay, it's just me. It is bizarre when you go into those places. Yeah, there is an old time a old weird world of golf. And have a beer at the nineteenth. I'm struggling with the golf banter. Yeah, it's the banter . On paper, I'd say if you asked me to describe the people that would most annoy you, it would be rich men on a golf course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I found it. Which, you know, I am now. Do you know the word Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's bizarre though is when they start having banter about w like 'cause we all have this thing where the yeah and what the very nature of what we do for a living, yeah. People jump through like the process of g th what they think they know you. So if you you met just any other guy down there, you you'd slowly get to know him, you slowly have to have banter. What I noticed with playing golf is that people have banter straight away. Yeah. So as soon as you hit a ball badly, there's no like, you know, oh yeah, I'll wait for him to they'll literally fire into you. Straight in. Yeah. And they walk up and watch your puck. Yeah. Oh my god. Can I tell you I had two bits of time? You may not have the hold to yourself. Can I tell you about the two interactions I had, right? So it's guys on a number hole. Okay. So Tom, what's it like being a dad? What I love is I listen to this podcast and it's so thinly veiled with It's like nationwide, you can see through I listened to it as a place to get advice and I've actually texted both of you, I think I've d certainly texted Beck Beckett for advice as being a father. But when I listen to the Interest you've listened to me and never thought . So normally they ask you about holidays. But now it was like but it was very like oh these two are in I think like a sinba situation that I'm in now. So I probably should go back and listen to it. But I listen to the more regular ones and I'm like, okay, yeah, th this is the bit I'm looking forward to. I I could skip through the first two Lord of the Ring movies and just get to the end where they were sell away and the boat Well tell us your two golfing . Well one I was putting and a guy literally walked away from his hole to come to my hole to watch me party. And is that with without saying like a wanger because you're Rob Beckett? Yeah, that's more that's not golfing, that's because he's recognizable. It's actually really frowned upon.. Yeah It's like standing in someone's view when they're pot uh pot potting in snooker. Yeah. Yeah, it's exactly that. So anyway, he's quite nice guy, then come up to me and then he's like, Hey you get in on and went, uh, three under. I was on hole two. And he was like, Oh, you're doing well in winter. I was like, No, I'm joking. I went, uh and I went, not doing very well actually. I was like, f s five, seven, six, nine, ten. He's like, Oh, sounds like a phone number. And I went. Well it doesn't, is it? 'Cause they start with zeros. Yeah. Yeah, ye.ah And then I'll be taking once off. You wouldn't. You'd say one zero. And then this is quite I've never had this before. This guy come up to me, I'd hit a ball so off the hole, like onto the other hole the other hole, and so I'm having to go onto their fairway and I'm oh sorry and he's like no worries. He comes over to me and he says hello. He said, nice guy's like oh hello Rob I'm uh and so I introduced him that you should just let someone have their shot and be quiet. Because I always say I've got people behind me, so I don't want to hold them up. Are you on your own? Yeah. By the way, I will say playing golf on your own is delicious. Yeah, but also I am also being filmed by a twenty seven year old woman. What, sorry ? My videographer. You take a videographer onto course. Onto course, yeah. And does she have a custom er? She follows me all round the whole way. This episode is brought to you by Boopa Dental Care. Rob, how do you feel about going to the dentist? Any fe ars and anxieties in the Becker household? Well obviously uh I'm I'm I'm gonna avoid making cheap jokes about your big teeth. Yeah, well I once I get down the vets, they're pretty used to it. No, I um I don't go as often as I should because I'm busy, but that's no excuse. And I I don't mind it but I ha I like having a podcast on or music on in my headphones because I find it a bit vulnerable and a bit stressed. There's a fear there, isn't there? There is something about having sharp implements in your mouth that it's not a it's not a weird fear to have, is it? No, I think I feel vulnerable, Josh, and it's not just me. In fact, half of us feel anxious about visiting the dentist. The thing is though, you gotta look after your oral health. That's why Booper Dental Care is stepping in to make sure fear doesn't stand in the way of proper treatment. Whether it's clear explanations, a few reassuring words, or even letting you play your own music. The'yre doing all they can to make sure that you feel safe and comfortable at your appointments. And with over 380 practices across the UK and a range of finance options, they're making sure everyone can feel at ease at the dentist. Search Booper Dental Care to find out more . Indeed, presents. Uh where are the fortlifts? I sold them. They were too expensive. I got a great deal on these scooters though. You expect us to move a two-ton pallet on a scooter. It'll be fun. Just think of the core strength you'll build. This is a job for sponsored jobs. This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an indeeded sponsor job. Visit indeed.com slash next hire and sponsor your job today. This man comes up to me. I've already got a man behind me waiting to tee off I'm with someone so I'm I'm not and I'm I've hit it about three times shitly off the tea. So it's gone right over this I'm trying to do quite you, I'm so and so and I was all right he went I'm fascinated by my work I do. I went, Oh well good for you. He's fascinated by his his work work.. By , not mine His work. That's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said. Then he goes, I specialise in high performance in sport and life. Oh fuck, oh fuck. Yeah, yeah. I'm looking for mid level performance actually. So also he he he's who he's not hoovering up shit golf, he's gotta be looking at top top people he's not going to be done, but like anyway, so it's like I I specialise in helping people achieve high performance in this and all that. And then he said, Would you be interested in that? And by this point, it's raining, I'm stressed. And I went, no. It is I've gonna tell you now there's a lot of that. And I'll say that people the thing about But it's good that you're getting to relax in your working day, Rob. With a videographer, the busiest man in showbiz is fucking turning on me because he's tired. Can I can I tell Tom that you're going to say you're gonna love this? I saw Romesh on Saturday. When you were doing radio two. When we were both working, yeah. And we were like the subject of you came up. Yeah. And we were like, bloody hell he's doing a golf thing. Well they're talking about they're doing Strictly Host . Are you do you or not? Are you it's me and Josh. Don't tell it now. Chatterlaw. I'd start watching. Key dancing. Can you imagine ? Can you imagine Rob going and you've really trained really hard this week, as if he gave a shit. I think that the the trouble is Rob would throw in his own . I used to love watching you, like I was always proud when I watched you on entertainment things but I could always see the glimmer in your eye that you couldn't actually give a f about the thing Like a snake oursman who doesn't really care about what I've said looking podcast come in and you're like, oh I could do this actually. The blessing and curse of my face is you know exactly what I think. I generally watch your face just thinking, I wonder if Frank Bruno would meet White Tyson in a fight now. Yeah, interesting Yeah., you did dance well. Which which of the two roles, if we were the hosts of Strictly, which of the two roles do you think you'd find least unbearable? I'll do banter on the shelf with like clause. Yeah, yeah. Tess t I'd struggle with Tessie's job. I'd love to see you Josh a little tuxedo just down the bottom. He'd love it. And Craig, what did you make of that? Oh he'd be tucked. Oh stop the booing, he's gotta give his views And you two have worked so hard this week, haven't you? And what did so what was the- You did it, didn't you? I did the Christmas one. You've got to do Christmas, Tom. It's fucking brilliant. No, no, no, no, no. Your daughter. There'll be a four years' time, your daughter will be going. Daddy. Yeah. Why don't't you love me? Why wouldn you do the Christmas one? I've got to do love you, that's why I'm doing it, because it'll be the end. Well, don't have to team him up with diamond from gladiators. We're doing the coupling. We're gonna need a bigger boat. I I just worry good. Johannes, you'd be good with Johannes. Oh no, we were like, uh oh God, he's doing a golf thing now. He just keeps going, doesn't he? Does so much? These two said at Radio Two. Sucking from the corporate tea. I'm a little inflamm a little creator out there that fucking earning his shift. Taking a videographer onto a golf course. Anyway, so you're parenting. I am I'm actually parenting now. I'm I mean since I last came on here, yeah. I yeah. I I've said I want your baby what was a little baby wasn't really young. Yeah. Yeah, really young. And I remember at the end of it sort of saying I'll never be a situation where I sort of look at her and sort of push laughs or sort of curse c curse her not sleeping. And yeah, that lasted all of like about six months. Yeah. 'Cause it's crazy that like we've we've had in and out of bed, we've been like I mean in our bed and Oh we we're all we all me and Josh both have s slight sleeping issues with the kids at points. It's hard. Are you all in the same bed at the moment then? No, no, no. She's back in her room now. But we all night? Yeah, well, yeah, like we had a thing where I I was filming at the end of the last year. Uh I'm still nicking a bit of work where I can. Uh yeah. Yeah. I'm not in your league now boys, but I'm not Did you bring your own videographer? So what's that was she in her own she's in her own room. But yeah la end of last year she I was at I was away working and she sort of crept back in. Yeah. I think that's the problem for comedians is if there's a gap in the bed, how can you say no to your kid that comes in at night and then all of a sudden you're back off tour and there's three of you in there? So then she she spent quite a lot of time then over Christmas we're sort of like she was on a mattress on the floor. 'Cause you're big as well. Like what size bed have you got? You can't say it like that. He's called Big Tom. Yeah, I know he's c well yeah, true. You don't help yourself. It's on your social. I've never seen 'cause you're big ger. You're bigger. What's going on there? It's like and you know you must need a special bed. Uh oh mate, I went for medical recently and the guy analysed me like I was a freak. Like literally going, um you haven't had any problems with your heart? And I went, No uh no I've really and he went, um okay and then he gets out like the dick to phone to leave sort of. It's out of dick. Yeah, he went. Oh this is how the dick he goes, this isn't in keeping with the rest of your stature . This is a penis of a five foot two man. So it's like Josh Winnicum's famous week . Hello, little fella. What a last surprise. But he goes uh he starts to do a thing where he goes, um, uh worth having some heart checks uh um due to the fact he has uh abnormal hands, uh abnormal uh his head maybe slight on on uh abnormalities with his forehead and he starts and you know you're looking and I'm thinking, if I had small hands I'd look fucking ridiculous. Yeah. But But you I I you're not I didn't say you're out of proportion. No, but the way he made me feel in this situation. You've got quite a narrow little waist, little sexy little samba waist. How much have you lost? Uh so going into COVID I was about I think about hundred and forty six hundred to one hundred and forty eight kilograms and I'm down about hundred and twenty-two now. So you lost twenty six kilos. Twenty-six kilos. Yeah. What's that in stone? Four, five, stone. Uh so yeah, uh yeah, about four, five, stone, yeah, yeah, yeah. So how did you how have you managed to do that with like a baby having a baby and t what should um tr I stopped drinking was a big thing. Uh eating well , um and also there's a big part of me which was having a having a little a baby at the day, you know , sort of what what's she? So I was forty two and I wanted to be as sort of like around as I could. So you was forty two when she was born? Yeah. So but I also wanted to be able to do you know, run about and have a you know and and so and I was in a position where I just thought I'm I'm I'm not able to do that. So yeah. And so I prioritised just get even now I sort of He's made up though. Yeah. Here he goes, he's get don't get it on his eye, all space steps. Yeah yeah so I always yeah I think I love that cover of tragedy. that you didn't your heart went in that you even gave you tried to wiggle your glasses to give it more. Did you know what it was, I thought everyone's an audition for strictly with this guy? Anyway. It's a movies week, so let's get on with it, Tom. And here he is as Frankenstein. You can't do this, it's the only competition it's the only outfit we've got for him. Spartley jacket. That's what's that saying fucked me off by the way. Jacob Alordy. Who? Jacob Alordy playing Frankenstein. Who's Jacob Alordy? Who's Jacob a laudy? Yeah. He's just play he's a most handsome guy. He's just in weathering heights with Margot Rodney. Oh, I forget you're a fespian. But he's fucking the most important. Your match with Tim and V Shamala, Shamala, Shamala. Did you discuss parallel with him? Tim What did you discuss with Tim? Uh a championship manager . Really? Uh box we watched boxing together in his trailer. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Are you quite pally still? Have you got his number? Yeah, yeah, I've yeah. I've texted him s with all his success. Oh. Yeah, yeah, he's crack cracked on, isn't he? Yeah. I've I've got No, but you met him in the back . So he was already up I would say this that I have a very beckett attitude to uh texting people. Uh you're probably a little bit keener than you should be. Yeah, I think it's fair to say that yeah, uh I'm investing a lot more uh how many texts are coming from you compared to can we see your messages with Timothy uh I think we're in a position where um well let's not think as with the phone just the colour just the colour um I'll just show you I'm gonna hold it up so you can see. What's he saved does? TC. TC . So oh my god! I'd say it's a five to one ratio. Why are some of them green? Uh because yeah, I think it's when he's on the road. I'd say do you know what I respect that tenacity? Yeah. You treat text messages like David Batti at a World Cup. You are chasing them down, not leaving them alone. I could give him advice now when he was a kid though, Tim. When he does go down that route. When he has kids. So if he announced today that he was Expecting 'd be ra rat of a drain pipe on the T A T C. Big Tommy . Yeah. Well I mate, congrats. Congrats on your news. Uh triple congrats. Good luck at the Oscars. But if you need any advice, I I I sort of found myself I don't I I in a weird way, I don't know I don't find I didn't I think I was going 'cause my daughter was born when I was filming Wonka. So I was so sleep sleep deprived. Yeah. I sort of didn't have the I was just very much I didn't really I didn't I also, by the way I, didn't at that point think he was as big a star as he probably was. And I was very I think I He wasn't at that point. He's really blown up in the last few minutes since well I wasn't like uh and I think you two have no me like I'm very much what I am with anyone. I don't know. Yeah, you're the same about it I don't uh I'm not someone genuinely speaking, like I just fan each other a lot. Do you think other people were a bit more on each other? Yeah, I whereas I just and also uh like I say I was so fucking tired, you know what it's like. I was exactly Just didn't be like and and I would just quite a lot of the time just sit on the side of the s soundstage playing championship manager. And he would come over and go, What are you the what are you doing? I was Does he like football? He loves it. And I he was really good. He he sort of used to play at quite a decent level. Okay. And I was like, I'm just I've taken Palmer, who have been obviously as we know. And it's his football manager, yeah. The new one, not an old version of the phone. No, it's a football manager. So I'd taken Palmer. I mean, this is great for any uh mum listening because I'm sure they'll be fascinated. Yeah, I would definitely say that championship manager footman is more of a dad demographic kind of But serial B and and I take it and me and T and Timothy was quite genuinely quite interested. And then he was like uh what do you do? Do you play the games? I was like No you just sort of do much of the clerical stuff. It's like the tracks. I've got a I've got a fitness coach and it looks like he might go to Man United. I found himself a bit like very like just very normal. And yeah. And actually weird that Olivia during that time was like Olivia Coleman was a it was incredible because I was going with yeah I think yeah did you know her already no no no I've never met her but I was going just through just the early stage of sort of parenting and and some of the advice and some of the things that she sort of gives to me. Like you, know, there was s we had a few struggles at that time and she was actually one of the first people who sort of really was was chatting to me quite openly and like sort of you know you should probably think about this or get on top of that thing and and yeah, she was really like um What kind of stuff was she helping with? Just I think like my where my mental space was actually. I think 'cause I I was really yeah, we talk about working hard and I was struggling like where I was like not sleeping enough and and I was coming in and and they offer a hotel for me and my family but I was like you know quite conscious my wife I wanted to you know so I was tr at the time I was living up in Stanford. Yeah. So it was sort of two and a half hours every day there, two and a half hours that uh to to film in, and then you know, you you get there and you'd just be kind of um absolutely sort of wiped out and then so the whole thing was a blur, really. But she she was very and then there's a few things where she she just pick up on just where my mental space was actually. And I I think going through that anyway, g it's getting the more heavy I wasn't disappointed to talk about it. But but you know, just where I was and and it's a very strange thing to go through because I think I was when I said about it on here before, so you you end up you know, your your mind isn't y it's I think when someone's pregnant in your house it's always there and you you know it's there. Whereas it's sort of something it we you know is gonna happen. Yeah. But when it kinda does, you're sort of of like, oh shit, all a sudden you go from like I th you know, i you've got a baby in the house. Yeah. And I sort of at that time I think there was a part of me that was probably sort of struggling to sort of comprehend that and I probably should have taken a bit more time. I w literally think she was born on like like But it's difficult, isn't it 'cause it's Wonka. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's a huge button. And also the journey you've been on as well. It wasn't a traditional I will say though, they was like they were incredible. Like I've never worked on anything but uh the compassion and the stuff that they yeah. What about this? I mean I did half an hour on this. You had about twenty minutes paternity leave before I was trying to monetize your content. Well Michael was Didn't have a videographer at the birth I just use the mirror system on my phone Cheaper. But it's uh yeah it's it's it's a weird thing. And now but now you you're're through it and it's a very like do do you find yourself now that you went through that and there was someone that was older like older than you and like had experienced it herself like do you feel yourself a bit more protective when you see younger people on sets or at work when they're having kids and you d uh do you feel like you're that person now that looks out for it 'cause you obviously was was in a really light . I've got a friend at the moment who's going for it and you're you're you're kind of yeah, and actually like stuff that his his missus has been through so you kind of you you there's triggers and warning signs. I think as well you you're like I th I think the thing that I was most always most conscious of i is the people who 'cause it's it's such a fucking mad thing, IVF. It's such I think like there's an idea that oh people are going to do that and it's going to work, and actually we were blessed and we were very lucky that happened first time. But I think some people you know with with the surrogates we'd we'd sort of been for a journey up until then. But I think um and and since doing this podcast the first time a number of people reached out and the people that I'd message back and try to give them advice and you try but also it's very hard because some of those people it didn't work out for and you feel like a bit like you feel quite low about that and you you feel like I suppose an air of guilt in a sense because you know but then you you know and I think you now it's a very it's a very strange thing 'cause now you know she's four and you're kind of trying to leave that side of things. That and now it's just a family, Java. Yeah, she's just there. What's what's the situation with have you told her that that? Not a four. We will do. How does that work? Is there like advice and stuff? Yeah yeah. There's advice and there's places to go and and th there's you know, um books you can read. And also the the the person that that person's in our life very much still is a very like active part of our life and that was one of the things that you know you want to really make sure you you you you you give that response you know that person changed our life. Do you know what I mean? I talked about this before on here, like we wouldn't have been in that position and and you know we wouldn't have the Yeah, and we you know we can I can sit here and be very you know, for a number of reasons my life has been blessed and I've done incredible things but there's not a day that goes by that I don't look at my daughter and think this this is the gift that I never thought I'd have. Yeah. And and you know and no amount of amount of hard work or anything could have given me that, but actually that meeting someone who had enough decency about them and enough good . And that was Timothy Shalomer. Yeah. He was a so agger. Yeah, we used his semen. So yeah he spunkted out he spunked his Just while I'm playing championship manager. He can wake into this. He spunked at a shower, he spunk to the shower . What um you say like when like when the you know the baby had arrived, so actually like the sort of the uh and and you was doing one cut, what was it that you were finding so difficult then? Was it leaving them Yeah, I think it's the leaving them at home. I think like uh I think the the lack of sheer lack of sleep, um, but also just coming to tur like just having in your head that oh I okay this is real now. And I think it was like literally she'd been born, it was like two days later. It was like we I was out of work and and you're like, um You had that as well on Taskmaster, didn't you? Yeah, I was six six days six days in. But then about do you think it was more it was more difficult with with it being the surrogacy with sake that or was it just a little bit more I think that in general I think I think it's a really weird thing because you say it's wonka, right? You can't say no to that. I could have said no to rolling in goof shit on Taskmaster but But at the time Well could have got Alex Zorn give me a fucking day will ya? Now I'd go reschedule this you dirty now you've got the power to do that. Yeah. Then it was like, Oh please can I do your task, Salad? Please Now leave it out mate. Get your own soup out of the fucking market away bone But one can you can't say that to a but also yeah but then you what you do realize is if you open up and say to someone that I'm this and they were incredible with that stuff. Oh brilliant but it's yeah it's a weird thing of like but like I say now it's like I it's yeah, it's the best thing in the world, isn't it? So what's uh what are you um that what do you do what do you do with your to watch you got clubs, do you take it as a things and what's uh what's the thing? Which uh I don't I've not been I s my wife takes her because we took her to another thing and I sort of took her along because I'm quite keen to sort of Yeah be it be around straight away being say that Matt I know you're from the Croydon Yeah the girl You're keen to be in your daughter's life. Yeah. That's fine. I'm a bit modern like this. Um no, but I went along and the uh and then uh they were doing a little performance about three weeks later and she she'd have been about three and a half and and sort of the guy went, Oh w I've you know, I've given Grace the opening uh the opening to the play. I was like, What she's three and a half, mate You know what I mean? No and it was like a proper chunk of dialogue I'd struggle with. And I think it was just a bit and I was like, Oh no, this is He's gone a bit Yeah. He's he's met me and he's so now it's sort of I'm like I don't know . Timmy you're not gonna believe this mate. You won't believe yeah, you're in the same game, you'll know what happens. Hello, babe doing all right. Um Um but you I d I don't know, then there's there's this weird thing where you're like, Oh actually maybe I need and which is that's I find hard 'cause watching her you know, when she was doing ballet or whatever and and Oh god, I just cry all the time when they didn't I do you know the the b the thing that um we had this fucking we went she's obsessed with horses. Like obsessed with and my dad loves Yeah, she's had a little Yeah, but not what your horse is he's betting on 'em. Yeah. We want it to be a jockey. Yeah, she's read she's reading the racing post. Did I talk about this last time? My that's m my dad still talked about the most heartbreaking thing in his life is the day he found out he couldn't be a jockey. And he's got six foot four. And this bloke had got him like he was cleaning out the horses and mucking out. And then one day he went, uh, when do you think I'll get a chance to write one of these? And he went, John, I don't think it's uh it's gonna happen, big fella. Oh no John They um but no so s so I wanted to take we were like we're gonna go to Vienna and we're gonna go and watch uh I don't know if you've ever seen Spanish ride in school. So it's like dressage, it's like I've never been by foot yes. Uh we go to uh we go to fly out and we literally get to the gate and someone at the gate's like the flight's been cancelled. And I'm like, what? And they're like the flight's been cancelled to V and I'd taken a long weekend off of filming. I was like, for fuck's sake And she c she's struggling with her V's and her Fs at the moment. She looked at me really like tears in her eyes. She went, Daddy, we're not going to Vienna And I was like, Oh no, we're going though. We're going So we end up flying to Brussels. Timmy get the gym. Who the fuck is this that keeps calling? Tom Davish, mate. Bleacher. Come on. Tom David. You're co-manager at Palmer . The big guy? The bl the big bloke who stood next to Olivia Coleman. You remember? Big guy ate your lunch. Um Um uh so we flew to Brussels and then so it was like what should have been like an hour and a half flight took six and a half hours and like when you fly I'm at a fucking four year old and then they lost my case. But all I could think of is like you know I,'d been away a bit so like this is a very special time for us. Um so I was washing my pants in the sink for two and a half days. And and there's no shops open in in uh Vienna. Quite tough to get my sketch of. Two and a half days . Good fun . So why is there no shops open at Vienna? It's like a so I don't know some religious thing. Like literally two car and also by the way at six foot seven it's very hard to to always get clubber. Oh you must be able to get pants. Yeah. What pants what pants do you wear? Oh uh look a lululemon. A Lululemon right I okay Lululemon vibe. Um and then we took her to so we get to this this whole thing. I'm you know kicking up a bit , um thank God for the horses. Um and uh so I sit down, we sit in the front and there's this fucking three Americans behind us. I have a thing I I went to watch Romish's play the other week and as soon as I sit in a theatre or that kind of yeah, I just hear someone groan behind me. I turn around and go, Look, sorry, I'll make myself as small as I can. Yeah. So I end up sitting like that. Yeah. And the woman's like, I still can't see. I was like, You fuck , sit to get a cushion there you, little rant. Anyway, you were quite good with Americans, aren't you? Famously, you've got very close American friends. And uh and we're I'm sitting there and and I was everything's been quite stressful up to this moment. And it's uh it's actually on her actual birthday. And uh the horses come out and she just got the little look of excitement and when you talk about crying, I remember like just uh sobbing, like just cause I was like, this is oh this wow, this is this is everything I wanted to be. I looked to my wife and she we were both just sitting there and I was just like proper streaming. Like it's just her little excited face and how much that meant to her. You know you just thought this is fine. I if I've if I've got to wear these pants for another month I'm gonna be all right 'cause it's Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's the thing of like, you know 'cause I th you know, she's at an age now where she's testing. I don't know, like she plays me and my wife, obviously. Oh, hunt ye yeah,ah, that gets worse though. Like I say, she's learnt the word fanny and d what what's amazing is What kind of context would she use it in? Oh I'll tell you, Josh. We w we was at we was out the other day shopping we're in a shopping centre, she wanted to go on with those stupid little cars, you know, little things that just back and forth. How they still fucking thing. Yeah, 'cause kids can't resist them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they are a gold mine. Yeah. But they they're just shit. I'm like, this is yeah. It's it's going to be And also the normally you don't have any change, so you have to go to a shop. No no now you can ta you can you can d tap them on your fucking phone. She's a different she she's wise to this. All right. Right. She knows . So she went, okay, I said, no, we're gonna w whiz down, we've got some shopping today, we're gonna get a bit of lunch. On the way back, if you're a good girl, you can go on these. And she went, I want to go on it now. I said, you know, it's not happening. We've got a day planned. We're gonna go down, we're gonna do some shopping, get some food. If you're a good go and get on that. And she goes, uh, no, and stamped her feet. I said, Hey, you're acting sport. And she went, You're a big fanny. Oh wow. And I was like wow I wanted a laugh because the way she threw it was so she's using it like a football hooligan. Yeah, yeah. But I mean she's been brought up in a very football every every every song I sing for bedtime sounds like a hooligan chant. Uh-huh. Drink or drink o little star . It's insane. Um what do you sing to her at bedtime? I sing Moon River. Yeah. Can you give us if I shut my eyes and I'm your daughter trying to go to sleep and then and then tell me that. Okay, no no no Daddy love you. Wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style someda y maker you heartbreaker Wherever you're going I'm going that way . Oh, and she's gone by that point. No, no, she I'd sing it twice. She's gonna walk down the arms you sing the payet song. Tom, picture this, right? She's twenty-five. She's found the love of her life, they're getting married. Can you walk me down the aisle, Daddy, to Moon River? Oh God, sing it. Oh my god. No, not you singing. No, I was gonna say me singing. Ping in you . Ping me in the toes going, can't even let her have today . Josh dancing behind me. You at the thought of you leading her down the aisle singing. Me and my golf gear tapping my watch. Got a got a Texas scramble in a minute. Come on . Oh that's that's lovely, those are the things. They're the things though, aren't they? They're the beautiful thing. But then we sing the chat, go to sleep, my baby. Close your pretty eyes. It's time for all the boys and girls to go to sleep. Oh wow. I think a bit better than that. I'll just rush it through because I'm not sure. Yeah, I can see what about this only time I've ever seen you nervous. No, because it was like I was opening up something that's quite important to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, which is a good idea with you. Yeah. Can I say by the way, you're you're like and I talk about and I talk about the reason you want to play golf with him 'cause you don't have to bring your own videographer. Which I've done. No, but what I love about it was he like and I I've asked Rob for quite a bit of advice over the years, but I literally I said, Oh, we should do a game of golf and he went, Nah, let me get good first. No I was like, Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, I need to get a bit better. Only because what happens is golf it's the same with skiing, and I know you're going skiing. People go, you'll be alright, come with us. And all that happens is they're really good and you'll just shit. And no offense, I saw you on golf life and your head went and it was the funniest thing I've ever said. I told Josh about it. It's the funniest rally. So on holiday this year, with me and my wife, we we we all go away, and you're like, okay, let's try and do it. So we'll we'll have a little time ourselves where we can we can just the two of us when she's in kids club but let's also do it so we can go out and separately do say and you can go to the you know you go and have a little spa after and go shop with a mate. I'll play golf for the boys. So I put so much pressure on this thing where I was going out with a couple of mates that we'd gone away with and I was like, I'll go, you know, five hours and going to this really luxurious golf course. It'll be lovely, you know, and and I'll go along and I'll it'll just be and honestly, after about three holes, I thought, what am I doing? Like I could have just I could have done anything else. This is torture. Like this is just I'd actually so much rather. Yeah, yeah, but I'd much rather be in a pool with my daughter. Yeah. Just actually doing something where I think I'm pretty good at being a dad. Yeah. I'm literally, I'm doing something, I'm all for that. Yeah. And and I you know the worst bit, and exactly what you're saying, Rob. Like I'm I'm walking around, I could see slowly these people I'm with, you know, like at first I was really involved in the conversation. Yeah. Then it was a little less by the sort of twelfth fall like I was just I was sort of like a lingering fart amongst the groove. It's like I was he still here. Yeah. It's like it was all and it's like being in a band and you can't keep time. Yeah, yeah and then I go back and my wife was like, Oh, do you want it in Yo? Maybe go and play another day. I was like, no, I'm alright. There was a group we was on when we was on holiday of the the Maldives, right? There was a a group of a there was like two couples of kids and the dad went scuba diving every morning for f eighteen days. Every morning. And then I was like, So do you do scuba diving every morning? Yeah, you just lay around the pool every morning. I thought, Oh, okay, we're going defensive, are we? I went, um no, I was just saying th and and then th there was so funny the girls laughed 'cause they they're from up they're up north and I was going, We're here called Scuba Darwin, get back from Scuba Davin and it's just it's quite fun. Scuba Daven, got scuba darvin and come back, uh putting beers and having beers on the way back and all that. And then I get back to Port and I was like, Oh well. Strangers having beers after scuba diving. I know. He said, Yeah, well they didn't mind. And they was like, Scuba diving, come back, have a couple of beers, sit round po,ol do kids stuff, go out for dinner. I was like, do kid stuff? That implies that it's almost like a half an hour slot to like be in the pool near the kids. I love that when you see a dad watching a fucking kid in a pool and it's just his heart's not in it. Nah. It's just literally like it's sort of like his wife will go, just I'm just gonna go to the toilet. It's off the f and then go when you're back, when you're back I love it though. On the phone, I know it's my favourite thing. I know well sometimes like as well like if we like if I'm not seeing Lou, it's great. If me and Lou spent a lot of time together, I quite like if she goes, I'm going out for the day and then I can I can choose what we do for the whole itinerary of the day. Yeah. I love being at Scuba Darvin. We're scuba darvin. Go scuba darvin, sure Live life on the ed I love it. I love that little side of it. I love because I as well, it's that thing when you when you're grafting, that that two weeks is so special to get out of time in. Do you know what I mean? And just yeah. Uh I sort of was gutted when she wanted to go to kids club. Yeah. And I was just like we're a couple of older girls. Everyone's her best friend at the moment as well. Well it's one holiday as well though, because if she's you've just got one, like with ours that they've got a mate to playy with as simpl it's that thing of trying to find a friend around the pool and when they do find one, I don't find one. So it's like you if you if you're like I see parents like go, well if I had an only child, I'd just be in the pool with them being their mate. Well some are like I see parents go go, go over there and ask at the mic, no, fuck up, play, just play with them. Like but then sometimes they need a little bit of encouragement to go and talk to other kids as well. So it's about pretty full on actually. She she'll go over to people and just have a tunework. She'll she'll walk out of someone and just yeah. Which is a bit well in itself. Well she's seen with her dad that he comes on too strong in friendships. So fucking fun . Perseverance in friendships. Keep texting him, Grace. They will reply. Which changes not that's a worry, then he does change his own. He will change it. After the Oscars he'll change it. Do you think? Yeah. He's probably changed it already. When's the last time you applied? Uh Golden Globes. Did it feel like a template? No, no. Thanks, mate. You know what I mean? Thanks, mate, kiss. Thumbs up. Uh I I 'll Palmer getting on. I'm once detected now and say I'm having a nightmare with this Palmer saved game. Miss you. I sort of find myself texting him with like stuff where like when I watched Marty Supreme just sort of giving him like ah mate well then that's a great bit of film. Oh no you said Yeah I really enjoyed it. I thought it was great really how many people do you think are doing that to him in Must be I don't know. Look, you I'll be honest, like how many people g give he he doesn't have toive his phone number to who asked for the phone number? Huh? Huh? No, he no genuinely no I could never have done that. He he Oh he pushed we hung out quite a bit when he was over. That's the thing. I think he's actually your mate. We're giving you banter, but I think he's actually your mate. He was like I and I think because also it's quite fun having a big English mate, and it's not like big Tom I think me and I think me and you are similar sort of cat. Like I I don't I I sort of had a bit of banter I'd take the mic out of the chunks where would you go with him? Like we like we go out for dinners in London when we were staying there. When we were doing a press tour, we hung out quite a lot. I think as well I'm gonna call like I'm like I'm a bit of I'm not You're a great guy. But I'm not an I'm not like an actor's actor. I'm not ye Yeah,ah. I'm I'm And you're not that competitive T D career guy. I don't want to say your career and his career. There's no point when you're going head to head. No, but but one thing I can do is I can rock up and have a bit of banter and take this out of. Yeah and I think those big mega stars don't have that much. So if there's somebody who's comfortable to do it. I'd be taking the you know, very much in the sort of that how us three would be, I'd be taking the Mega out of I'd throw co-stars under the bus . What's he doing? Yeah, but if you're trying to be friends with Timmy for Shabbat, I'll fucking launch and launch you under the bus. Kick in the back of it. Um the final question. Yeah, what's the tour called Spud Gun? Spud gun, yeah. What if the until Spud Gun tour? If I can milk it for eighteen months it'd be great. Okay, so we don't need to get our tickets now. No, get your tickets now. You need to sell some. You've got um Isle of Man coming up. Yeah, that's really sold badly. That's that's the day after my wife's birthday is that I'm going away the day after her birthday. But not even your four twelve pounds. And you're going to Islab the next day. Oh just cancel it . I can't do that. So go to the Islam one to make it right. So we've got Islam, Paul, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Coventry, Northampton, Dorothy. Scotland, Scotland. Going back to the Arlevand again. So Arla White suit. That's that's sold out. That's all the Arla White. Cambridge, Lincoln, Bayern. Edinburgh and Glasgow, please show me some love. Do you know what? You two are quite cool when you do it? I'm so fucking thirsty. Well I'm not thirsty. Tell me the ones you want us to push. I oh my god. I've got no idea. I'm not across my sails. I can tell you again I'm gonna make a prick out of myself. I'm so pathetic. I sort of I did you get them sent you or are you doing the seat maps? I did a seat map quite regularly and So you go onto the website of the theatre and try to potentially buy tickets to see where there's gas. No, no, I just see I look at it and just get so disheartened. So I'm uh I could be having an amazing day with my wife and daughter and then I'll go, I wonder how the sales are going to do. I'll put it for video. We've sold seventy thousand tickets last tall, it's in the press release. I know, yeah, but Yeah, this one this one like Scotland really needs to yeah. Okay, Glasgow and then we need help with that. Yeah yeah anything else? Seat maps, Tom that's a little at me about this. Do you ever do the seat maps of other comedians you don't like? No, no, no, no. No, neither do I know. I don't know why I've suggested that. You down in Exeter? I love Exeter. Ipswich, Nottingham. Yeah. Loads. Aylesbury, South End, Norwich. You'll be right in Southend. South End's already sold out. Working sold out. Yeah, yeah. Truro? Truro sold well. Truro's one of my favorites. Oh my god, what a room. It's great, what a great one. I took my top I got so excited and ripped my top off at the last one. That was my last day. Pre or post COVID. Uh that was the start of COVID. That was what started it. Was that was that 148 kg ? Number zero. I was about yeah, I was yeah, I was carrying a bit of a derby at the time. Right. So uh final question, what's the one thing you love about Timothy Chalamet and what's the one thing he does that'll wind you up on set? Well the thing that winds you up is he doesn't reply. I think uh And the thing you love is he's famous. I thought it gives you a reflected glory. I think is is I think the the thing I love most value . He's gonna do it. Of course I will. I think do you know what it I wanna be quite I'll be quite earnest 'cause I I play Well when you're that close to someone Yeah yeah but just be careful you're not more earnest about Timothy Chalamet than you were about your wife last time as a fri I would say do you know what I like I I really quite I I don't know about you both but I very uh imposter syndrome and I very much question the fact that I' Id've been very fortunate to go and act in things and yeah, I I never ever think of myself as being an actor. And and and um we were uh we were filming a scene and we as we walked back, he went, um, hey, you know something? I went, Well, he went, You're actually a pretty good actor. I was like, I'll take that. That's a that's probably the but he gave me quite a lot of uh he gave me quite a few compliments and it was one of the first times where someone like that had actually But you are an amazing actor, you put yourself down, you you're speaking that into existence. You are a brilliant actor, but because your background and where you're from, you can't feel that because you've you feel it's like you're being too every sh you have to believe that. In that position otherwise. He's one of the reasons I'm in a lot of therapy chaps. What what don't you like about Timothy Challamo? I was d I genuinely try in life to always try and find the positives in you know I could tell talk to you about people I don't know there's none and that you've got to be an absolute fucking bell end for me to not because I I I think you're a good guy that sees the best in people sometimes five too Robbie. You've seen the best in Timothy Chalamet. That's how who's maybe the best person in the world. I thought you were just leaving that. Maybe the best person in the world. I should say I feel like I've sat through this whole thing with kidney stones. Okay, so you're okay, you're not well. What's up? What' m a hypochondriac. You think you've got kidney stones? I think I've got uh yeah, I genuinely think I've got uh something's going on. This could be the last podcast ever did. And it's better do you know what it's been a great one? Yeah, it's I mean no more to play at your funeral. MUon River What little girl singing it, of course. Oh I'm a laughing . Timothy's there. Timothy's there. Oh my god. Timothy, Matt Lucas, Romesh. Josh gets a place by uh the fact he's the only person who's the same height as Timothy. Romish was meant to do a speech but he had something else though. It was been the weakest link. Turned out to be Tom's kidney. Right Tom thank you very much. Good luck to Tom Spudgum buy tickets. Thank you . Hello, parenting hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Ridleycom here i have got a new podcast josh whiddicom's museum of pop culture and i'm gonna say it i'm about 85% sure you're gonna love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics, or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics. See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast and realised Millie Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I