Workload Stress and Small Business

This episode is brought to you by Cadbury. You know the most magical Easter egg hunts start with how thoughtfully you hide the eggs. Because a really good spot at the back of the mug cupboard inside a watering can, tucked inside a welly boot, makes the search much more special and the moment of discovery even sweeter. So this Easter bring home some Cadbury eggs and give your kids a hunt they'll never forget. Cadbury. Better the hide, better the hunt. This episode is brought to you by Monzo . End of term is nearly here, Josh. Oh my word. Always a good time for kids to have a bit more freedom outside of their usual routine and even start giving them some money independence with Monzo's free kids account. You can set regular pocket money schedules and one-off payment for something like school holidays. Oh, Rob, it's great. Oh, and you're not just handing over the reins either. You can set spending limits and get instant notifications when they spend so you can see live when they've blown it all on sweets at the corner shop. Monzo's award-winning kids account, download your new favourite bank. For children age six to fifteen, parent or guardian account needed first. UK residents only , Ts and C's apply. This episode is brought to you by Booper Dental Care. Dentist appointments make a lot of us uneasy. In fact, more than half of us feel anxious about getting in the chair. But with clear explanations, reassurance, and even music, Boopa Dental Care is helping us feel a bit more relaxed about those all-important checkups and treatments. And with over 3 80 practices in the UK, plus a range of finance options, they're making sure all of us feel at ease at the dentist. Search Booper Dental Care to find out more. This episode is presented by Adobe Acrobat Studio. Josh, as a new parent, you get loads of information just chucked at you. Oh mate, it never ends, does it? And it's so difficult to know what's helpful, what's important, what I should be ignoring, what I should hold dear to my heart. It just goes on and on. Well imagine that's your job dealing with tons of data and information. No, no, no, no. No th,ank you. I would be appalling at that. Well, luckily Acrobat Studio exists with PDF spaces. You can turn your docs into knowledge. It lets you bring all your project files into an AI powered workspace to get insights and ideas. So people can cut through the waffle, work smarter and save time and get on with the stuff they really want to do. But the big question is: will it tell me how to get my children to eat vegetables? Do that with Acrobat. Learn more and try it out on Adobe.com Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell. Can you say Tosh would n't oking that you say now can you say rock backs. Ellis, can you say Josh Witacum. Dosh Witacum.. Thank you Rob Beckett. Well done, guys. Good job. There we go. I like that. I found sound like they he said Dosh Widdicum, which is a great headline if you've spent a lot of money on something. If you bought a fancy new car yes, Dosh Whitakum as you walk out of a cigar. The new host of Top Gear . Um hi Robin Dosh. Uh long time listener after moving back to the UK from Australia a few weeks before the first lockdown. Oh. With a then ten month old. This is my three-year-old daughter Morgan and my almost seven year old son Ellis saying your names. We currently live in North Wales. Why do you go from uh Australia to North Wales? Well isn't North Wales a place I mean is is there a North Wales in Australia? Well, I don't know. There's New South Wales. But Ellis and I are from Australia. Oh no, I might uh do you know what? I could have just read on and all our questions would be answered. That's classic us, isn't it Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Just fucking listen for a bit. Exactly. It's not all about us. We currently live in North Wales, but Ellis and I are from Australia and my husband Lloyd and Morgan, who's the three year old daughter, are from North Wales 'cause she was born when they got here. So the mum and the f the older child are Australian and the dad and the younger child are Welsh. To Australia for a visit. Thank you for keeping me sane. Stay sex and relatable. Cheers, Sarah. Badly. Cheers. Cheers, Sarah. Cheers. Cheers. You're in a weird space. I'm in a hugely weird space. I'm not in a weird space. You are. You've had a mental week. We with n there's no fucking anchor here. We need Claude McAlay of podcasting to come in and steady the ship. Or Claude, the guy from The Apprentice. Or Claude. All the other ones. Claude Lidna. Claude Lidner. And then it was Karen Brady . Nick Hewer. Nick Hewer. Margaret Mountford. Who cares now? No one's fucking watching it anymore. Alan Sugar's joined TikTok. Has he indeed? And he's all over the gaffing. He's on a webcam looking the wrong way. Do you want to know something about Alan Sugar? Yeah. He was the guy that was made the Sky boxes or the dishes or whatever it was that Sky used. And then as the Tottenham man, Tottenham owner, he had the deciding vote in whether the Premier League went to Sky and then he made loads of money from selling all the Sky stuff. Oh, that's clever. Alan Sugar. Do you reckon that's difficult being called Alan Sugar if you're having tea? Um Alan Sugar? I don't think so, no. What do you mean? It must be frustrating. Because he's not going to go, sorry, you why are you saying my name with a question? There's two Alan's in the room. Alan Carr, Alan Sugar. Yeah. They've been in the room together. Alan Sugar. What's happening in that ro om then? W um what's happening in that room? Yeah, okay, Alan Carr, Alan Sugar, sat down. I'm making tea. Alan, sugar Yeah, okay. Well why are you saying Alan Sugar? Because I'm making tea. Yeah, but wouldn't you wouldn't you say which one if they both sat down? Well no, but you don't know. I might be just saying Alan Sugar. You might be I might be Alan Carr. Alan Sugar. Alan Sugar. And then Alan Sugar would go yes. And then no, not you. Alan Sugar. And then he'd go, no thank you. Who would Alan? Alan Carr. Well Alan. Alan would, yeah. So So, why are you so weird? I have just had a no buffer date. Oh yeah. I've just had a bit of a no I've just had a bit of a no buffer week. Okay. It's been busy. Take me through your non buffer week. Non buffer week. Um Monday buffer. They're Monday up to London and I did two episodes of Celebs Go Dating. Fucking hello. And I was in a really weird head. They just don't stop dating. They don't they're always I think since I've known you you,'ve always at least once a week been doing an episode of Celebsco Day. Is it? How have I never watched one? No . Fucking hell. How am I not watching ? Mate, I have done so let's do so have we see there's been about fifteen series. Have you done all of them? Sorry, no disrespect. Were you the original voiceover? Yeah, I was original. Um but it's been so many. We even did one in Lockdown when they're at a socially distance . Two meters apart. Well I have actually, but that's a different story. I think it's a six thirteen series, but I think there might be more than that now. So I think there's been fifteen. If you include the lockdown one and this new one. So it's fifteen. Let's do the maths here, right? So it's fifteen um And was it always twenty eps or has it gone up? It went up to twenty-five for a bit, and I think we all agreed five too many. Five too many exactly. So fifteen series times twenty episodes that's three hundred episodes. And there was about five series of an extra five, so five times twenty five. So say three hundred and twenty-five episodes, yeah? Yeah. I've done of that. Now it takes two and a half hours to f to film record each episode. Do you have to do any prep? No. I go in and read it. But I so it's I'm in a v VO booth alone.. Yeah So three hundred and twenty five episodes times two o two point five. But you can talk to the guys out there because eight hundred eight hundred and twelve hours I've been in a VO booth alone. Oh my god. So divide that by twenty four thirty three days. Thirty three days. Of my life. Of your life. And you know what? I've loved it. Me shouting about how t tiny my dick is my asshole stinks. You what? Stuff like that. I th I'm quite crude on it. Yeah, I say mental stuff.. Wow Well sometimes when you know Lee Ryan's having tacos. So who's can you tell me who's on this series? You probably can't, can you? I think I can. Can you? I think it's been announced. Let me have a look. Sorry, is this T V? Let's just do an episode about my TV output. Why not? Well we are going to talk about your special. My week, yeah. So dating, they have announced them. We have got um Colleen Nolan, James Haskell, David Pot ts from I'd be for weekend, more of a reality guy. Um Professor Green. That's a good booking. Um Gabby Allen from Love Island. I was thinking when you say Gabby, I think Allen Sugar. Logan or Oslin, this is the Gabby Allen from Love Island. Gabby Logan. Um yeah, James Asgall and then PK Humble. Sorry, come on now. Come on . Lucinda Light from Married at First Sight. Who the fuck is PK Humble? He used to do the dance. Big Humble. Big Humble. Big Humble. Big Humble. What the fuck is going on? He's from Ballers League. What's Ballers League? He's an online personality, Josh. Okay. Um yeah, that's it I think. Okay, cool. I don't know who else um yeah I think Before we go on you have got special out. Yeah, so my stand-up show Giraffe no it's it is special and yours is special too. Let's not put it down. Yeah. You haven't seen mine. Yeah, I got it sent to me to check whether it's special. What is wrong with me? I got your agent. I said, can you just forward Rob's um Just to double check it's spe special stand upcial and said no it's not it's ninety minutes long, Josh. Why? Um because um That's how long the show was. Including ads. No, I think that's on top. But it's a two sitter. You can watch watch half one night and watch the second half the next night. No one's getting beyond forty minutes. Is there audience stuff? I'll talk to the crowd, yeah. Yeah. So it's um London Palladium show of giraffe that was recorded in one night, and um yeah, so it's going out on Friday, the third of April. Good Friday is on Sky One and nine PM. That's good Friday. Great special Friday, special show. Good Friday, special. So yeah, please watch that. Okay. Anyway, back to my week. I was doing Stubsco dating. Yeah. Then Tell's Red. Two episodes of that. Then my mum and dad come round, and then we watched Teddy with the kids and was hanging with the kids. And then Tuesday, I was filming Robin Romesh, then it was Parents' Evening, and then I had to go straight from Parents' Evening to the RT Actual Parents Evening. It was actually not his TV show Parents' Evening. It was at my actual children's Parents Evening. So I had to go back there and then I went to the RT Evening. You had an RTS Award? I won a well, me and Romish won an RTS awards. Thank you very much. So did that that was last night, then this morning I had to do try and load the clothes for a T V thing from eight AM. I was up after six kids left and then I did that and then I went straight Who hosted the RTS Awards? Tom Allen, very good. Oh nice. He's so fun in Titanic. I don't know if I mentioned it. I need to see that. But I'm not gonna because I I live I live in Exeter. So I then they left at ten o'clock, but then I had to be on the half ten train from Albington. Got to Albington, no parking spaces, so then I had to drive to Petswood, parked at Petswood, add ten minutes. So I then went and got a sandwich, couldn't you tell me to eat and a coffee and I said to him a sandwich for breakfast? Well well this by this point it was half ten this morning. Yeah, that was this morning. So I've I haven't eaten the sandwich. I ate the sandwich at lunch when I got here. I'm talking too fast. Breathe. Don't breathe. Keep going. Keep going. I said to him, I've got to get the train in ten minutes. Is that enough time to make the sandwich? She went, as long as you run, I went, What do you mean? Well I won't have the sandwich. She went, the bridge is shut. You've got to go round the other side. Oh my word. So then I had to run like What do you mean the bridge is shut? So So how else are you gonna get across? R you but you need to run 'cause you're going across the tracks. Yeah, I've got to find another bridge or tunnel. What? So I had to walk down the road to find the tunnel. Anyway, got on the train, got here, I've just eaten a sandwich, now I'm talking to you, and I'm a little bit all over the place. Well, it could be worse. Go on . So my son was off school for two days. Okay. Temps . Temps. Temperatures. Right. So what was wrong just hot? Just you know when they're showing a temperature they feel like shit. We I went to my parents on Sunday with him and he was just it was like two PM and he was just yawning and going, I'm really tired and you're like, okay, let's me up here. Yeah. And then we got in the car and he just out, out like a light. You can't send him to school with a temp. I can't send him to school with a temp, 'cause it was it was under control with Medication. Medication, but then it would fly back up. The double? The double. You've got to double 'em up. You've got to go back to back. Those companies, they're rivals, they don't realise they're working together the whole time. They're they're a duo. Yeah, yeah, well, because you know, you can have a little bit of neurofilm in the cowpose it. Exactly. They're not. We guys, your sales should be identical because it it we're get we're we're back to back in them. And he was off for two days. He was off for two days. Yesterday, my daughter had a concert, a spring concert, and then he was like freaking out because we were going to the concert and leaving him, and we're like, Well, we can't not go to the concert. Yeah, and you couldn't because he's been off. Couldn't take him. So who was he? Have you got childcare down there now? For like yeah. Is she there every day? No. She's at Halton Towers today. Is she? What keeping? She's cleaning oblivion. Was she doing Alton Towers? Just family trip out. Yeah. Oh, lovely. Taking her family to Otto and Towers. Do you like rides or you don't? I fucking hate 'em . Do I like rides? No. I can do them. Right? 'Cause you're just strapped in and you just do it and you think about something else. So have you been to Blackpool Pleasure Beach? Yes. You know the one that fires you straight up into the air? It used to be called the PlayStation Ride. I imagine it's not anymore. No. I remember doing that when I was at uni and the big one and the way I got through it is um this feels like it's not helping my reputation as a cool dude. Yeah yeah yeah. But um I'd run through in my head the eleven players that played for Plymouth in the nineteen ninety six playoff final when they beat Darlington 1 0. Alright, okay. Go on then. Give it to us. Do you want that? Yeah. More than anything you've ever said out loud. Bingo, Steve Cherry. That's already funny, isn't it? Why is that funny. I suppose . Steve Cherry. Paul Williams left back. Yeah. Centre backs. Chris Curran. Richard Logan and Mickey Heathcote. Nice. Right back. Uh Mark Patterson. Ronnie Moget. Pardon? Ronnie Moget. Moget? Is he French? Um no he wasn't. I think he's from uh East London. He scored the winning goal. Ronnie Moget, Chris Ledbitter, Martin Barlow, up front, Mickey Evans, Adrian Little John. And by the end of that, I'm off the roller coaster. So if you are worried on a roller coaster, think of something you might be able to vaguely recommend. sees you at the start of a roller coaster, they can see uh go you they're queuing up at Disney wherever they are or at Chestington and it's uh the England World Cup nineteen sixty six. Josh Josh is strapped into Mandrill Mayhem and they think he's thinking about Steve Cherry. So if you ever see Josh on a roller coaster just shout at Steve Cherry . I've already got him I'm struggling with a right back. Addison . World champion. Um but are you planning on taking your kids to theme parks? You've done Legoland and hated it, didn't you? Yeah, but I think they'd probably enjoy it more now. There's no point until my son's tall enough. Because then you're just creating a situation where your daughter can go on something so your son can't go on. There's a new frozen world opening at Disneyland Paris. Yeah. She might like. I think I think we will. Dip your toe in Paris and work backwards. Exactly. Um I think We gopa did I tell you we're going to Europa Park? Is that August is that the one that's themed around the Europa League? Just different winners in the Europa League. Well you start at the conference league park, but it's smaller rides. Uh no, it's um the uh in Germany and it's like the biggest theme park in Europe that everyone sort of goes to. So we're we're gonna go there. You love th so do you like the rides? I I don't I quite like fast ones now. I I hate the drops, but I love Yeah, I like going fast. I don't like going Yeah like o that drop that with your stomachs. Do you like did you like Oblivion at Alton Towers? I didn't have not done I didn't I didn't. Did you do Oblivion? I don't think so. I did a gig in Dubai a few years ago. We went to the theme park. It was so weird. Because it was Motion Gate. I don't know. Half of it was inside, half of it was outside. And no one was there. Yeah, I've been to that one. The Smurf Ride. Was there a Smurf right? What is this? I mean, God no you'd think that with a lot of Dubai what financially is happening here. But like Fuck all at the moment. Finally Yeah. Couldn't happen to a nice bunch. But uh but we got there and then there was no cues, so we could go on all the rides loads of times. It was fucking heartbreaking, Rob. So who did you go with? Well just the classic trio. Go on. Lloyd Langford Gambler Maisie Adam . We but we hadn't gone in specially we're all doing a gig. This episode is brought to you by Cadbury. Easter isn't just about chocolate, it's about the thrill of the hunt. The running around, the giggles, the look of surprise on the little faces when they spot Easter eggs in unexpected places. Because the best hiding spots are the ones that keep your kids guessing. Like wrapped up in a ball of wool, buried in a sandpit or tucked behind the sofa cushion. Somewhere that turns each discovery into a spark of laughter, excitement, and a tiny moment that makes a memory they'll carry long after Easter is over. Because watching them hunt, shout and celebrate, that's the magic of the day. So this Easter, grab some Cadbury eggs, hide them thoughtfully, and enjoy the things that make Easter truly unforgettable. Cadbury. Better the hide, better the hunt. This episode is brought to you by MMs. Josh, would you say you're much of a baker? Ah, well, I'm not a huge baker, but I do enjoy baking with the kids.. Ooh You know, I'd never do it on my own. Do you do it with your kids? I do bake with the kids and we are big cookie dough guys. Yeah. And we love licking the bowl. Oh yeah, yeah. Finger in the bowl, lick off the spoon. Yes, please. We're fighting over that bowl. Well, Rob, I've got good news. Whether you've got time or you're trying to avoid destroying the kitchen, sometimes bacon's just not on the cards, is it, Rob? But wait, with the new MM's cookie dough flavour, you can get that licking the spoon moment of joy with no baking required. It's the classic crunchy chocolate shell with a deliciously creamy cookie dough flavoured centre, perfect for sprinkling over popcorn, snacking on through movie night or just enjoying by itself. Click or tap the banner to learn more and try MM's cookie dough available in stores now. That was lovely. They did some pop hits. That was fun. Yeah. They did Mamma Mia. It's love. It's a fucking banger. You're like ABBA are so good. That song has got so many different bits, and when you hear it done, you're like, fuck me. They did Sky full of stars. I was like, Abra's so much better than Coldplay. And I say this as a coldplay apologist. You love a bit of Coldplay. I love the first two albums. And half of the third album. You do look like the kind of man that knows the drummer's name. World Champion. Thank you. Do you want the rest of the band? While we're there? Well it sounds like Johnny Buckland. Johnny Buckland, yep. Obviously the singer. Yeah. Oh Chris Martin. I don't know the bass player actually. Guy something. He's called Guy something. But anyway. This seemed like sweet guys, Coldplay. I've got nothing against him. Yeah, no, I seem like good guys. Yeah. Um so we went to the school concert. Yeah. That's fine, that was fun, really fun. But I didn't and brought a snack, so afterwards there was tea and cake, I stole some cake for my children from the adults' cake section. Right. That's okay. People kept calling on m me on it while I was carrying cake in a nap kin. What d o to so you wanted to give your daughter a snack after school do you always turn up with a snack after school? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Every time. And if you th if you don't have one there's trouble. Yeah, which is insane 'cause we live fifty yards from the school. But it's almost become a little bit of a a thing. So what kind of snacks you're dealing with here? Well they don't show me in the best light. I'd love to say cucumber. You can't turn up a whole cucumber at the school. No. So what kind of snacks you do ? Your your pom bears. Yep. Your mini chairs. Yeah. Throw the ball in that area and you hit something. Chocolate? Chocolate bar? Maybe. Um they've got quite into these madlins that you get from do you know what a madelin is? Yeah, those little like a small sponge cake. Yeah. You your kids are really white, aren't they? White? Yeah. What do you mean? Just proper colour county's white beige food What do you mean? Oh sorry, I forgot you're serving jerk chicken to your kids when you meet them at the gate. No, but it's very very beige kind of. You've got one of those huge paella things outside the school. Salt and vinegar crisps . That's beige. No. Spicy. Oh right, yeah, they'll have salt and vinegar crisps. They'll have salt and vinegar crisps. Okay, okay, I'm just saying. But just saying Madeline, Pombear, Minichheds, one very one very Yeah, I'm sorry they're not having faux like your children, but Sri Lankan stuff at the moment. Do you know what Michael told people? Michael the producer. Yeah. Go on. Michael went down a wormhole on what is it called Reddit, Michael? Yeah. A Reddit wormhole on what? And read a full string about how we hate each other. Me and you hate each other. Who reckons we hate each other? Everyone that Michael Michael's like I went down a Reddit wormhole and they were talking about how much you two hate each other. Basically they think the show's coming to an end soon. They think it's coming to an end. They're predicting that it will be over by the summer based on how you guys speak to each other. What I do we sound like we don't like each other? Do you like me? Yeah, I love you. I love you too. I thought I enjoy this. Yeah. Sound a bit also as well, you know, and I don't want to go into the numbers too heavy, but for me to quit this, you'd have to spit in my face at least three times a record . Just from an economics point. Honestly, if you're on that Reddit thread, I could tell you ten TV shows that haven't been stopped by people hating each other . No, I I like I I g I th there's no hatred at all. No. I quite enjoy it. Yeah I do. But there we go. Oh, this is interesting. I got sent Sunspell sent me a couple of t shirts. Oh yeah, I got some pants. Saying thanks to talking about the I've been slagging their pants off. Well there's no such thing as bad PR. No. So they sent you the pants. They sent me the t-shirts. I love the clothes. Was it through the same person? Fay. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I think I think she was speaking to them about something else. Yeah, so they sent me some tops, but I love the clothes, I just can't get involved in the pants. Yeah, I love the clothes. Too heavy knit for me. I love the clothes and love. So what else is it saying on Reddit? They all love all the internet ones love Josh more than me. That's what I've noticed. I wouldn't go that far. Oh really Can you phone Lou now? Yeah. Put her on a speakerphone and say we can't go on holiday 'cause I think it looking bad with the Reddit community. Right, I say what she says about that. While I do my belt back up. Yeah, cask I do that . I'll ask out the kids out and I can talk about parenting as well . What's she doing? I think she's dropping the dogs off at the kennels because we're going on holiday tomorrow. So we're not Kenny Ills the hotel. So anyway Um so my son was ill. Yeah. My daughter did a concert. Sorry, you're talking about your kids, are you sure? 'Cause according to Reddit we don't fucking losers. And I look I don't want to talk too heavily on this because I'm in a bit of a mental ed space, but these people that go online to discuss us, how little have they got on in their life? I look what would have to happen to my workload for me to go, do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna join a forum to slag off two people I haven't met because they may be arguing a bit more than I'd like them to be. Um anyway, yeah so I read up the Is that what you want read it ? You want the truth So uh parenting wise. Yes, parenting wise. Yeah, yeah. It's the last week of the term. Yes, Easter break. So we're having a little bit of break after this so we can um l see our children over Easter. And Michael's mighty gone on holiday. Is he? Yeah he is. Where you going, Michael? I'm off to New York. New York? Fucking hell. Yeah, all right. Wait till Reddit here about that. That's a a single child not a single, but a childless man going to New York in his spare time after working hard. Should be ashamed of your privilege, mate. And coming from the Isle of Wight to London with nothing, not a pen in your pocket, and then building yourself to a point where you can go on holiday, you should be ashamed of yourself, you little fucking worp So cancel that on a day and fucking get your life into perspective. It's good that I don't get offensive by online comments. Exactly, yeah. That's why I don't read 'em. Yeah. Um I don't read anything online and it it 's worse when people then say stuff to you. 'Cause there is a potential you can't you have read it, read it. Um as Lou got in touch. No, she hasn't run back actually. Um anyway, so while my daughter's in a concert. Yeah. So one of my daughters plays guitar. Yep. There was a guitar ensemble at this concert. We saw her about a year ago playing the guitar. She did Songbird by Ermilium Gallagher Oasis. Right. Yeah. Did it and it was really good, fine. I've not seen her, but she does lessons at school. I've not seen her play the guitar at home once. Yeah. Saw her last week. Did a Taylor Swift song. She's like Johnny Ma. Really good. Really good. Wow. But like r much better, like remarkably better. And I was like, but I thought she goes to lessons, she never practices, I assume she'd just be at the same level Yeah for the next five minutes. It's an hour a week. It's an hour a week, and then you just do that and you get the c and then that's fine. It's a bit of fun expression. She's got really, really good. I've never had a practice, but I'm just sort of letting her get on with it. What did she sing? No, she played Oh what did she play, sorry? Elizabeth Taylor? Oh yeah. She played along to that. Elizabeth Taylor. That one. And then my other daughter. I love that song. She sang um Elizabeth Taylor. Oh New World. But they made 'em made her sing it with an American accent. Oh wow. Yeah. She was like Was it a solo ? She did it with another girl, but they did solo part they di sort of did a verse each and then did a chorus together at the end. So they were doing that. They do like a like a grandparent like the they invite they do grandparents' concerts, which are quite nice. I love the concerts. Yeah it's great. I I I cry a lot though. Do you? Yeah. Yeah to try and not cry. They were really going for it and they loved it. I think my daughter who's eight is still not got that feeling that maybe if you were ten or eleven, they're a bit more self-conscious at the concert. My daughter was and her class were really going for it during Mamma Mia and during um Skyfull of Stars and Firework. I mean it was it was some really quiet, she wasn't going for it as fully then. No, she was really going for it, but what I mean is the kids that are a bit older, you got the feeling they weren't as comfortable with all the actions and stuff that was happening. Do you know what I mean? And you're like, oh God, yeah, this is when you get to the age where you get self-conscious. You get self conscious. Well I f I find there's two it's that weird thing. One they're a bit too shy to do it and then all of a sudden overnight they're like And like giving it hardcore and then they get embarrassed. But it's that you don't want to let them feel embarrassed with like that thirteener . Because I see kids about thirteen where they're like they get they get treated like adults. I'm like, no, no, let them be kids. Yeah. But I feel like we're you're a bit you've still obvious you got a slightly younger one, but I feel like with an eight-year-old and a ten year old, I'm in a little bit of the eye of the storm where it's calm right down. We've had the first wave of the tornado. We're in the eye of the storm where it's obviously busy but quite easy really. Because they make their own breakfast, they get their own bags packed and stuff like that, they could run their own baths and all that kind of thing. And then it'll be a bit of a busier second storm when the teenage years hit. So I'm just enjoying this moment. And going back to your question, because you did interrupt me alread it . I like holidays with rides because sometimes I feel like if I go on a beach holiday, I sit round the pool or on the beach and the kids are in the pool or the sea together playing. Sometimes I' makell friends or they'll go, Can we go to the kids club for an hour because there's a an event on and I don't feel like I I feel like I'm a holida I'm on holiday near them. Whereas when you go to rides at a theme park, you're doing it with them like mates. Well can I recommend? My favourite type of holiday. Black gunshine. Skiing. Ski my friend and yours. Your favourite . How has that gone in your favourite type of holiday? I just feel myself when I'm on the slopes. When I'm chopping up the powder, when I'm cutting down the Alps or the Dolomites , I just feel like at one with nature. Yeah. I d but I spoke to you for an hour about this, but the first forty minutes you hated it . Yeah yeah. So I still don't win it so you do like skin. I can't wait for next year. Have you booked? Yeah. Yeah? Too bloody right we have. And you're so and you're looking forward to that. I can't wait. Really? That'd be me. Is that you, yeah? Well people go, was that him? But he went so fast we couldn't see. Are you gonna go to the same place? Yep. And are you gonna get like the bus to the bigger slopes now or you're gonna stay on the training one? I'd happily just go down that slope all the time . But there is this feeling. No. Well there is this feeling. I remember having a discussion with Rod Gilbert. We were talking about it was I was much earlier days and he was I was on tour, one of my first tours. Yeah. And he was like, How are you finding the gigs? And I was like to be honest, at that stage I was like, I'm not nerv that nervous or and he was like, Ah, you've got used to the rooms, you need to play bigger rooms. Oh yeah. You've got used to this. And I've got to that point with a ski slope, do you know what I mean? But there there will come a point, there comes a point with everything where when you get too comfy it becomes boring. Yes. And that's when you start snapping at each other and Reddit kicks in. And that's when the show ends. That's when the show ends. Well it's not. No. But um it can go on for years of time. Well more I I'm really enjoying it and more people are listening. people's faces. Yeah. Exact . Um which is frustrating for us 'cause we hate each other. Yeah yeah yeah yeah of course. Um but um we um good news Rob. Good news the viewers are up, listeners are up, but it just means you're gonna have to work with that twat for longer. Come see Comsar. Come see, come . How is uh Rob and Rum going . Best it's ever been. Best it's ever been. The most we've ever hate each other. Exactly. I don't hate anyone. Oh . Especially anyone that owns me money. What's that? Not anyone you work with, but you do owe. Yeah, I know some I could listen to. Who do you hate? Who do you hate? Okay. Um It could bleep 'em. Could I give a genre of person? Yeah, but don't say a race. I'll take genre , but there's um overly interfering T V producers. Yes, correct. Huge genre. Yeah. That's why I said when I got the award last night, it was for entertainment performance. Yeah. As opposed to the show. I've got I've had that exact award. Have you? For uh last leg? Yeah. I'd share it as well. I said um it's great when you win this one 'cause it's for performance, which means I don't have to thank any producers. It was all us. And then I just held the silence for ages and then I went, actually thanks very much Bill. But Bill is brilliant Bill's a brilliant Bill Ryan by the way, brilliant producer. No, I did say that other thing, but Bill Ryan's an amazing producer. Yeah, too late. TV producer. Is that anything though, innit? He's related to one of the Claxons. Yes, that's his brother. This episode is brought to you by Xperian, the UK's most trusted credit score. Josh, everyone's got those moments in parenthood where you feel like you finally made it. Oh. Nothing beats the feeling, Rob, of when you finally make one of those big financial decisions that you've always dreamt of. Can I go? Yep. I bought a brand new car with a roof box. Yes, 'cause you are middle aged. And do you know what I had to do? Open the door of the car and stand on that little bottom bit so I could reach the top of the roof box. Of course you did, Rob. And I bought that 'cause I was a parent and I was gonna go camping. And did you? Once. There we go. Hated it. Yeah. Who knew the wind was gonna be a problem? Who knew the wind was gonna be a problem? But I felt like a real grown-up buying an adult SUV car that had space in the boot for a buggy, a double buggy at that. The first time I got on the property ladder. Yeah. And we got a mortgage on a small house. First time buyer. First time buyer. And then we moved into that house from a furnished property that was a rental. Yeah. And we realized we didn't have any furniture. And you bought a lovely massive shell. Yeah. And you had a little snow But you're so happy at that point. And you have pizza older pizza and sit on the floor. Oh yeah. Trying to get the telework telly going. Not even on a bracket. So much possibilities. One of the best moments of moving house, we bought a house and then we moved in. Same situation. I was trying to get the football football on the telly, 'cause there was a fun Sunday game one at about four o'clock. And I'd done it and finally the game came on and as the game came on the doorbell rang and then the pizza old had arrived at that moment. Oh. And I've sat down on my camping chair that I was using for the second time and I thought this is life. Yeah, that felt good. A car with a roof box and then owning my own house. And the first step in all those big financial moments is the Xperian credit score. Correct. If you're looking to move, if you're looking to get a box on your car, guilty. If you're looking to get a car to put a box on, guilty. If you're getting to get a mobile phone contract even Xperian can help you improve your credit score. Download the free Experian app and better your story today. Xperian is a credit broker, not a lender . Need anything from Tesco? Like Tesco Finest Salted Pretzel or caramelised biscuit chocolate Easter eggs? £12 each with your Tesco Club card or Tesco Finest Extra Fruity hot crust buns. Two packs. For just three pounds. Because every little helps. Selected hot cross buns, majority of larger stores, and online and 6th of April. Club card or app We're over halfway through the year now. No, we're not. The school year. Alright. Which is how I work. Okay. I still work in school years. Okay. So halfway through the school. This is the problem with my stop bending to Reddit by trying to make the year about school so you're a parent. But this is what happened, right? Yeah. So school years up to eighteen. Yeah. Then I went to uni, so you're still working on school years. Yeah. And then I worked for one year at Waterstones. And then I worked for one year. Yeah. But then Waterstones is just normal yeah. But I worked September to September. Because I started when I left uni and then I worked for a year so I was still working in a school year situation. Okay, I'll get you I'll give you that on a technicality, but you just worked in a normal job for a year. Then I started doing um comedy, right? Yeah. A few years later. So I had a few years of normal years. He started doing comedy. And suddenly people are talking about Edinburgh, which is the end of the year apparently, in August. So you're back onto fucking school years again. No, no, you you y you y you're really pushing this. So we are over halfway through the year. Right, okay, so you want me to agree that you've just been living school years all my life. Right okay. Apart from the year of Waterstones, your whole comedy career. No, no, the early bits of your comedy career when you're uh you've got Edinburgh as your you've got to get a show. Shut at the beginning of the year. No, because you've got to have the show ready for Edinburgh. Yeah so you're you're doing pre-season until the season kicks off in August. Yeah, but then it's f this fin the season finishes. But the whole point of the school year is no one goes to school in August and that's when you do the most of your work. If it was a school year you'd have August off. No but yeah, but the point is it starts in September like uh like the school year. Well , it's No, it doesn't. Everyone has a month off then because they've worked hard or don't work do anything. I didn't. That's why I'm bloody sat here . That's why I've got to where I am. While everyone else was sitting around in September. I was stamping over them to get to the fucking top. FHM stand-up part. I was like, do you know what I'm I was in September? So we're halfway through the year. It's just going too quickly for me. You've d yeah, but you've done a lot. When did you move out? I have been thinking this, Rob. Should we quit this? I shouldn't say no. The writing's on the wall, if I'm said . Please don't. I've been thinking I could just do this and not do anything else. Just podcast. But I don't want to do that. But there's part of me when I get in the car to No Disrespect Nottingham on Saturday, which was lovely . Is that I someone said they were going to bring a baby. I said okay, they didn't bring the baby. A lot what's going on though for you at the moment. When did you move how? September? September, start the school year. Of course. Of course you moved in September. Exactly . So you if between now and September you have had well since September now you've had so much mental stuff's going on. You've done cities. Done a tour, moved cities, done loads of last leg. We've we've in terrible timing. Started recording this in person in London. I know. Wild So is that you've you've had a lot on. Yeah. And then when the t I think don't make any major decisions. Oh no, I'm not gonna do it. The tour ends in May. What feels difficult, right? Yeah. Is you go I'm going to let me be honest. Yeah. I'm going to Birmingham to do an awards. I'm doing the Vision Express Awards in Birmingham. Yeah, okay. When's that? This Sunday. This Sunday night. Yeah, I know. I know. It's not party time, is it? Well it is at the Vision Express Awards. Look, Rob , full disclosure, in my last two shows I've had two separate routines about glasses. I'm I'm very confident we're gonna rip this rip this to shreds. I've got did I tell my you really funny idea for a sitcom episode about glasses? No. I rode it in a pilot for something that we never made up doing. Was it about my dad, a carriage by my dad who was a bit sort of a bit like in it bit like my dad, a little bit Yeah simple at times but me well meaning, right? Um and he was trying to fix his glasses glasses arm and as he was doing it, he was gluing it, but he got used super glue and he got his fingers stuck on the arm. That's funny. That's funny. And then his wife came in, my mum and we're date going like Dave, you've got to go and do this, you've got to do that and he goes Well no actually I should do this, I do that and then was basically using his cause he gesturing with the glass and it made you look intelligent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she was like, Alright then Dave, you don't have to do it. And then she walked up the room he just went, Oh the whole episode was him walking around and he was basically getting all his own way and dominating. Oh that's really nice. That yeah, great little bit. Um Kirby enthusiasm. So that's my that's the only bit I've got on glasses. We do all these work we do all this work, Rob. Yes, so you're being honest, so I think it takes us away from our family. Well that's the problem, is the travel. Is the travel. And you go, When I left this morning, my daughter was gutted. Yeah. She's still in school. She's still in school. When are you back then? You left this morning early? Um back at two AM on Friday. Two AM Okay. She'll be in bed? 'Cause I've Bex Hill tonight. I've got Southend tomorrow. Bexhill tonight, South End tomorrow. Last leg on Friday. And then you're home Saturday. Yeah. No, Friday night. Friday night. Are you working Saturday, Sunday? I um we're going to a farm on Saturday. Oh nice. Our friends have got a farm. We're going to their house. Oh the farm. Their farm? Their farm house. And then I've got Cheltenham in the evening. Okay, that that's where that weekend suffers. Then I come back. Yep. But Cheltenham's actually quite near Exeter, so that's ideal. Yeah. Yeah. Ideal. And then I come back and then Sunday. Mm. So my daughter goes to an art class. Yeah. I I wonder what your take on this is. Go on . They occasionally do a family day where all the family go and do the art together, so we're doing that on the Sunday. That's f I'd uh that's fun, I'd be into that. That's a bit of me. I'm quite nervy about that. That's because you think you're good at art. No, I don't. And you wanna don't wanna look like you're bad at it and you wanna be good and you want someone to say, Well done Josh, that's great. No, I don't it's not that actually. It's the thought of being in a room with with other parents. Oh, that's what's stressing you you at? Yeah. But just focus on the art. I know, I'm looking forward to it. And then in the evening I'm going to Birmingham for the Vision Express Awards. Fuck it, girl, mate. No wonder you're a little bit confused about workload. It's is So you're so you're doing this now? Are you gigging tonight? Yeah, Bexhill Delaware Pavilion. So Bexhill tonight, Southend tomorrow, Last Egg Friday, Farm in the Day, Cheltenham, Art Class in the Day, Vision Express. Vision Express in Birmingham. Yeah. And then Monday ? Take my car in for Z MOT . Should we do some small business? Yep. Here's small business. Rob Beckett, new young comedian with the show Giraffe, is going to be on Sky One, nine p.m. 3rd of April. Do you know what? They're right on Reddit. You hate me. He hates me. Um, right, here we go. Hi, Rob, Josh, and Michael. Absolutely love the pod. I love a shout-out for a small business who I work for. Studio Black Coffee is a coffee roastery ba roastery based in Bolton, who supply coffee to creative spaces such as Dock Ten in Media City. The founders, Toby and Callum, both in their twenties, met at uni in Salford, Salford, or Salford in it. And both went to work in the film and TV industry after graduating. After a few years they both noticed a coffee on set and in shared workspaces was bad. So in December twenty five they started roasting coffee in their spare room with one goal in mind to create exceptional coffee for the creative minds of the world. One year on, Studio Black has removed has moved to a bigger space in Bolton and are close to completing the renovation of their second coffee van. So far we have served coffee on set for Netflix, the postcode lottery, Holly Oaks, and more. Oh people on set one of Tom Allen's had one on the postcode lottery. Um we also sell bags of coffee and merchandise online, offer monthly subscriptions to anyone who wants to drink great coffee at home. We also do an amazing decaf, Josh. Oh count me in. Finally, one percent of profits goes back to the film and TV charity which supports physical , mental, and financial support for those in the creative industry. Stay sexy and relatable. And if you ever want some delicious coffee at your next show, give us a shout. Gobble Gobble, all the best, Tom, that Studio Black Coffee. Good morning, Rob, Josh, and Michael. I'd love to give my husband's business, EduPlay Creations UK, a small shout-out, if possible. He worked incredibly hard on it and deserves for it to pay off. EduPlay, designs and handscrafts out,door play and learning equipment for children, things like mud kitchens, sensory tables and outdoor play setups that encourage kids to get outside, get messy and burn off some energy. Alongside working with schools and nurseries, we also create bespoke pieces for families at home, including S E N D uh friendly designs. Many of our products are adapted to be more accessible and exclu inclusive, not exclusive, supporting children with additional needs through sensory play and hands on learning. For example, we've just completed a project at our local SEN school creating accessible planters using wheelchairs so everyone could be involved in the outdoor learning. Everything is made to order here in Kent and built to survive both kids and British weather. You can find us on Instagram at edu play creations UK. That's E Edu , like the Arsenal player EDU . Play Cre ations Plural UK. Our website is edu playcreationsuk.com. Thank you so much for everything you do. Stay sexy and relatable from Freya. Thanks, Freya. Good luck with it all. Right. Thank fuck I don't have to see you again for a while. Bye. Oh I love you. I like this is fun. I enjoy this. Don't go. Don't go to Bexhill, come back. What a fucking waste of my life. Thank God he's gone. Wanker . Wanka . Shuffling around with his little fucking cup of fucking drink. Anyone wanna host this on it . Michael get in the seat.