Small Business Shoutouts and Final Thoughts

This episode is brought to you by EasyJet Holidays. If you're thinking about your next family holiday, you'll love this. You can get up to 400 pounds off package holidays and up to 200 pounds off city breaks with Easy Jet Holidays Big Orange Sale. Kids go free on millions of their package holidays and there are thousands of hand picked four and five star hotels to choose from across more than a hundred destinations. And as if that couldn't get better, you can book for travel up to October twenty twenty-seven. Search EasyJet Holidays. Holidays at all protected. T's and C's apply. This episode is brought to you by Pizza Express. Now serving up After School Club, a selection of Pizza Express favourites for just five pounds each. Available three to five Monday to Friday. It's a tasty way to reclaim those family moments. That's kind on the wallet too. Ah, Rob, also. You get the after school meltdowns, don't you? You do. They're hungry, they're tired, they're one wants to sit in the front, one wants to choose the music. Or oh you've brought the wrong snack, or you get home and they want to watch different things on TV. Josh, when the kids come out of school and like they just throw their bags at you, say I'm hungry. Arguing with each other about who sits where in the car is Oh my word. Couldn't agree more, Rob. And do you know what? When you find yourself in that situation, in my experience, there's no 330 meltdown that can't be calmed with a £5 serving of dough balls. For more info about what's included and how to redeem, visit PizzaExpress.com. Terms Apply. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with George. What? Can you say Rob Beckett ? Why? Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whitacomb? Josh Whitakham . Well done. What's that for? Who's that um deep voiced guy that's just done our child intro, Josh? That's George. He's 17-year-old reacting exactly as you or I would expect, according to his mum. Emma, uh, thanks for all the last. My kids are probably too old for me to still be listening. Not at all, Emma. But I'm not going anywhere. Love you both. Emma from Eltham. Eltum That' nesar me., Eltum Of course it is, Rob. Oh I've Josh, I'm in the middle of some serious dad and husband guilt at the moment. Is it knit ? Knit . There was the knit email came around from your school. How do you know about the knit email from the sch ool? Cause I'm just on top of these things. What? How do you know about that? Lou texted me and said, I did not need this today, just after the podcast. She lost it. Okay, yeah, that they're yeah, I mean that the the the lice knit problem is so down the level of what I give us what we who care. There's still fucking holes around our house where they've not come back to fit it in. Oh yeah. Someone can so they dig a hole, took all to cause that we had no elect ric. Then someone they what they left and went, Oh, someone will be around to fill it in. Someone came round to check it and went, Yeah, yeah, I'll find the right person to fill it in. I thought that's literally your job. To look at a hole. So what was he doing? Going check checking that there was a hole? Well, I don't know or what type of hole to what type of person comes. I can't believe there's different departments of hole filling. Because it's either grass or concrete, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well exactly, yeah. Anyway, so I've missed an email at some point. Now we are we're recording today between half eight and half ten in the morning. Oh God, it's so stressful. But you're busy, I'm busy, and you know, we need to we needed some some episodes and stuff. Um I missed an email where this morning at like quarter past eight, my daughter's in a performance where she sings a song in front of the school. Oh no. And it's open morning for secondary school for my other daughter. Oh my word. You could have cancelled this, Rob. Well, I d I genuinely don't think I could have. No. We got no time. This week due to certain things that are going on. I literally this morning we got to school at ten past eight. Yeah. We'd forgotten my son's swimming kit. Who's we? You and your son. Are you dragging him into this? No, me and Rose. Right, okay. We took them both in. Because it's like my last day here for a week . Right. 'Cause literally I got back at eight fifteen last night. Basically I could have stayed in London but I came back to do the school run. 'Cause I wanted to see 'cause otherwise I'd have been away for like ten days in a row. And then do this and go straight back to London again. Then do this and then go to Leeds. Leeds. Oh no, sorry Derby first isn't. No Derby was on the way to Grimsby. I'm going direct to Leeds . Stop showing off. Um also Lou had to cancel a meeting because she obviously one of us has to be there. And then what happened was b the the school round show round things at nine nine fifteen, but yeah, the singing thing might overlap. So then Lou said to the youngest,, I Look I I'll'll be there for your performance, but I may not be there at the end to say well done because I've got to go straight off to the eldest daughter's show round of a school and go and do that. And then so she's crying and upset and then she's like, You're not even coming. I'm like, no, I'm coming. Louise out to work meeting. And then so this mor I felt really guilty leaving this morning. Um, it was a very much a Gabrielle out of reach, couple of tears in the car to commute. But um here now, ready to talk about not parenting again. Oh Rob, I'm sorry. It's so mental. And then you're like, presumably your daughter is going to that secondary school. Anyway. Yeah, I know, but I but you want to be I know, but I just completely I completely missed the email, and um the the there was no way to sort of reschedule. And the problem is I'm quite busy and overwhelmed at at the moment with work. So it's like my neutral is you're a piece of shit and you've done it all wrong, Rob. Okay. So I'm very working. That's my nil-nil is Rob you're a piece. Yeah, before I've done anything wrong, he's Rob you're a piece of shit, you've done it all wrong. Did you watch the football last night? Five four. Oh my god, it's unbelievable, wasn't it? The Premier League is shit compared to that. Bring on I know this is an unpopular view, and most of our listeners aren't even interested . Yeah, the faster they just bring in a fucking European Super League, so these teams play each other every week. I thought that. I was like, this is I can't and I'm an Arsenal fan. It's not like the Premier League isn't hugely financially rubbish . Like the shark has been jumped or whatever the fucking point is. It's always going to be unbalanced. So let's just put all the fucking best teams in a league together and they can play each other every week. Let's just admit what this is, rather than pretending that it's like what's the point in Bayern Munich winning their league every year? Put all the teams who are good in the same league promotion and relegation from the domestic leagues into that league, it'll be much better. I I agree. Welcome to Talk Sport. Coming up after the break, we're joined by Pat Nevin, who will be discussing the problems at Chelsea. Yeah, and we will be jumping between the pros and cons of the European Super League and Rob's complete lack of self worth and self-loathing. We'll didn't out of that and keep it all above board and occasionally come back round to the cats getting the snip. We've got that to discuss and a few other bits and bobs. Um but um European Super League, that was amazing. Was it five four? Five four . Five four. How good is Harry Kane, by the way? I think he's the best English player of my lifetime. It's so obvious. He's way better than Wayne Rooney was. He's a better professional as well. Yeah, and he's just so exciting and he just does mad things where suddenly he's in midfield pinging a 50-yard pass. He's a bit incredible. And we are not appreciating. Welcome to Talk Sport, Harry K ane. We are going to he's going to retire and we're going to go. We do not realize that was the best player ever who's been English. Have I told you my theory? We only really love sports stars that smile. Oh, that's it. Harry Kane isn't very good at smiling. No. He's he don't know what to do with his lips. He goes for it. He wants to smile. Lovely guy. I've met him. I've met his wife. Lovely family. Lovely couple. He's his mouth won't let it do it for him. No. I mean he just can't I can't frown. Well, this is the thing. We love a sports start, and it goes in with what I said about Ronnie O'Sullivan, who sadly lost. Um we like a flawed sports start, and Carrie Kane isn't Flawed. No. He's the opposite of Flawed. He's the perfect professional. He's like, he's like a kind of just very happy dad. Yeah. He's got a very sensible kind of haircut that you'd normally see on a forty year old professional kind of He wears sketches already. Exactly. He is middle aged, mediocrity, personified as a human being, but he's also the best footballer we've ever produced. Yeah, uh on it, yeah, I I'd say so, but you know, what we got. I think he's alright. I don't think he's gonna lose any sleep over that. I think that's fair description. I think that's a co yeah, I think that's a fair description. The greatest footballer we've ever produced. And come on, Harry, admit it. Your hair is the hair of a man who is ten years older than you. That's fine. And he's worked really hard because he was a bit f you know you know written off at the start. Yeah. Anyway, anyway. So basically I hate myself, so if anything goes wrong I sort of double down on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but we know that. I'm going over old ground here. So I've been d battling those demons today because I've done it wrong and I pride myself on not doing it wrong. Um but hey ho, that's life. We're here now, back into work. How's the cat's fannies ? Uh well it's not their fannies. What is it? Do they sew it shut? They go in through the stomach. So don't you have to let them have a period first? What? Don't you have to let them have a with dogs you have to let them have a couple of periods first before you do the snip. The bollocks can be whipped off earlier. You don't have to like wank them off a couple of times. You know. Yeah. Just so they know what it's like. Exactly. Just so they know what they're missing. But yeah, I thought you had to let them go through the cycle a few times. I don't know. Well we didn't have to. The vet didn't . No, try and you've got to trust the vet. He's the expert. The vet was very snip happy. He was very happy to snip oh, was he? So they're in little jumpers now. Right. And they've got to be in those jumpers for two weeks. I had to take a photo of the scar to send to the vet, which obviously I've forgotten to do. Also, fluff ball's got to go back in in ten days because she had some liquid on her lung. Oh my god, it's so it's got liquid on the lung? No, I don't think so. It's just she cuffed up a fur ball or something. They were like, well, let's bring her back in to check her. It's all fine. They can go out in twelve days. It's unfair to say I'm wishing the next two weeks of my life away. But they're incredibly stressful. Yeah, no, but you'll you'll you'll get through them. It's just a busy period and we've got a much uh calmer rest of the year. Oh, exactly, exactly. I can't wait for the calm. Obviously, I feel a deep calm when I'm on stage. Oh, absolutely. You're sort of in flow state. Yeah, yeah. You are like plankton in water. Exactly. Where does the plankton begin? Where does the water end? Exactly. Often begins in Leeds and ends in Vanessa this week. What a week. Actually it doesn't end in Inverness. It goes Leeds via Scotland at Inverness and then Birmingham and Milton Keynes. Yeah, then you're nearly done, aren't you? Your nearly done. The Tories brought so we need to get five left after that period. I've got two in Wales, then Cheltenham and then the and then London. Have you got any sort of fun days out planned with the kids? After that, yeah, we go I mean it's long till half term, Rob. Yes. What you are you doing anything? We're going on holiday. Oh, nice. So tell me more about your uh Well, I'm not I'm not on holiday in half term, lose away for something and um I'm at home with the kids. Nice. That'll be nice. Nice. I'm looking forward to that. I want a bit of normality. No, what I want to talk about is my ten year old is um an incredible negotiator. Oh yeah. And like Do you think we should send her into Iran ? No, not yet. Do you think she could reopen the Strait of Ormers. Did you say um King Charles at the uh Congress doing jokes? No. He was smashed it. Did he? He was like over 2 50 years ago or as we like to call in the United Kingdom just the other day. Oh nice. And the Americans were fucking loving it. I love old stuff. Has he written that? Yeah, no, it's got he's got it at someone's writing for him. Who's writing for Prince Charles? Because it was funny. It was funny. It's a good way to disarm what is quite a tense situation at the moment. Well, we could do with disarming the situ ation. But Trump Trump's going mad. So you just basically he needs to go in there. Do you know what? Up until now, he's been my kind of guy. It's just the last couple of weeks is too much for Bobby B . You know, it was an opinion. And in my opinion, he's been absolutely fine until about a week and a half ago. And it it was just a bit too much. Um but no, I think it's a good way to disarm it because you go in and be all charming. May stand up for things you don't like because he like said about Afghanistan where Trump before said we never helped it, all that stuff. So he sort of hit back at all that but then chucks in a few jokes and the Americans love it, don't they? Yeah. I'd love to know who's writing for the king. Because the odds are if they have got a proper writer in Well there will definitely be a script writer for the royals. We would probably know who that is if they've got a comedy writer in. It's a good joke as well. Yeah, that's that's not written by like a a royal unless they send it off to punch it up. Yeah, who's getting the email? I'd love to know if anyone knows that. We won't name you, but if you've got any information on how that works, I'd love to know. But that's like the hardest corporate of all time doing Congress in front of Trump. My friend did a punch up on a script. I cut so I'm gonna change some details here. Yeah. Yeah. There was a musical of a film. Yeah. There's many of them. And then he got brought in. Sorry, my phone's going mental. No, we've always talked about oh no, my my daughter and the go share, right? So like if no you know like I'm basically to tiredo to argue with her and stuff. So like the other morning, I was said, I said, like I was doing some board eggs. I went, Does anyone want any board eggs? I went, Can we have dippy eggs? I went, Well no, we haven't got time for that. I'll do some board ones, and if you want a hard board eggs, you can have that. I went,, W sheell was like, Well, well, why would it take so much longer? And I was like, Well, 'cause I have to do the toast and the butter. And she went, I've already got bread out to do my own toast. So all you've got to do is cook the eggs for less actually, because they'll be dippy, not hard. Good boy. If anhingyt, it'll be quicker. And I'm stood there going, fuck it. Fuck off . Oh my god, she's actually spun me round with a good argument there. This isn't a child anymore. This is a young woman that's learning how to navigate the world. And she's right. So I just have, okay, yeah, she's right. I have dippy eggs. But then she's ten. Well you should have gone make your own fucking dippy eggs eggs. You're ten . Yeah, well I think I might have been a bit strong. That's the next stage . Yeah. Well you fucking do it then. And drive yourself to school. Yeah. And get a load of injections and go and work with Romesh For the record, the injections of the country, not the man. Okay, right, okay, just checking. Yeah, I've got my anti syphilis injection, Romish, because I know what you're like. The country of Sri Lanka, do you mean Ron? No . Oh god . This episode is brought to you by Hubspot. Now you know that moment when your kid casually drops in, they've got a massive project due tomorrow. No warning, no context, just a hope, a prayer, and a long night ahead. That's what most businesses settle for with AI. Zero context leaving you to fill in the gaps. But with HubSpot, your AI has the context on every customer, so you don't have to guess you know. Plus, agents help keep your business moving automatically, freeing you up for more pressing jobs. Like last minute dash to the craft supply Learn more at hubspot.com It's so wild at the moment and it's just so racked and stacked. It's mental. How's your fitness going? So I had a bit of an injury. I had a bit of a hip injury. Oh yeah. I told you about my park run, didn't I, yesterday, yeah. Yeah, you dropped the phone, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um I'm going again in Aberdeen. That's gonna be hilly, innit? Is it? Yeah. All Scotland's hilly. They love it. I love Parkrun. I loved it, Rob. Joe Wilkinson loved Park Run. Did or has he done it again? He does it all the time, yeah. I love it. The sense of community, the sense of overtaking, the sense of for old people. The sense of overtaking. I love the way you went. So sense of community, are you mixing was being better than the community? And that is the spirit of the community. That's the spirit. No, it was really fun. I really enjoyed it. Ali lapped me. I should say that Ali lapped me. You can't lap someone on a part run, can you? Yeah, it was a two and a half, so it was a double lap of a two and a half. Fucking LE's quick. This is your tour manager. I know, yeah. How quick did he do it? Eighteen minutes. I mean, what's the fucking point of going there if you're gonna do it that quick? Also, he he'd already run a couple of miles to warm up. I'm just not built for it. I'm just I'm like Bowser. Just a big fucking lump shuffling about. So Rob 'cause my hip, I've booked in a training session. Yeah. With someone to teach me to run properly. Oh, okay. Do you think that's a good idea? Yeah, I think if you really enjoy running, yeah, you might be injuring yourself. I really enjoy running. I want my technique to be good . I'm not gonna become a like I don't want him to go hit these times. I just want him to tell me don't run like that because that's what's damaging your hips. Form and technique. Yeah, yeah. When this is all over, I'm doing a run ning lesson. Right, okay. So what is your ultimate goal then? Not not to be injured? Not to be injured. That's my ultimate goal. Josh, can I can I tell you an absolute fuck up I had when I was in America? Go on. I'll tell you this. You know that Adidas have released the World Cup footballs but mini versions. I didn't know that. So they've released every World Cup ball from like nineteen seventy or something. Right, yeah, from the Tango Onwards. Tango Onwards, I think I can't remember how many they are. But um they've also released a full size version, which is like a two and a half grand collection. It's mental, right? But they've released mini versions and it was like a hundred and eighty quid or something, okay? And you get this big box, presentation box, and it's limited edition, and it's 100 eighty quid and you can get all the footballs and I thought I'd be a nice little thing to have. I saw you coming. Well, I thought I'm gonna get that as a little present to me for the end of the tour, right? And I've got these footballs for the World Cup. That's perfect bit of Bobby B little present to himself. Anyway, sells out an adidash straight away. All gone. Straight up on eBay. They're going for like 800 quid a thousand pounds. Fucking hell, people. People are people are absolute wankers. Yeah. And the same thing happened with that. You know that Addidash trainer that was really faster than marathon? That's done that as well. They was on sale for like 400 quid and they've all been bought now, they're going for a thousand. Anyway, I thought, oh you bastards, but I'm not doing that. If they're gone, they're gone. Anyway. So they all sold out. Anyway, I'm an I'm in Amer ica, yeah. Um when after I went to go to to go and watch the golf, went and watched the Masters. For you and Romish? No, we were in Florida basically on holiday and then my friend was going to the Masters on the fortieth and a ticket became available so I could do a quick hour internal flight to go and watch it on the w I just moved my flight home back. So I managed to do that. It was really lucky, great experience, and it's brilliant. Left left Lou to do the uh the flight home. Left Lou to fly alone with the kids must not get bogged down. I've got enough dad guilt going on at the moment. Let's uh leave it, leave that. Uh other days I'd have really gone for that. Yeah. I cried I cried listening to Gabrielle driving to here. today Just just so you know what you're dealing with, okay? Right? Slightly emotional guy on the edge. Feel a bit overwhelmed. So I didn't have a big bag, went to the masters, bought some shirts and jumpers and hats and stuff like that. So merch. So I didn't have enough stuff. So Lou told me about a thing called Instacart. So in America, Instacart is all the shops that are near you, it's our Uber or Deliveroo, but if you need a product, someone will get the product for you and drop it off to you. So you just pay for it. So I went on this sport dick's sporting goods, yeah. Because I needed a duffel bag to bring home my stuff because I didn't have a big enough bag to bring everything back. So rather than get an Uber out to the shop and back again, you just pay for it. It's a good idea and I c I'm surprised it isn't here. Yeah, I think it's easier to do in America because I've got massive car parks and big shops. But Luke is referenced a car. I thought this is brilliant. Anyway, as I'm scrolling through Dick Sporting Goods , what pops up for two hundred dollars? Oh the footballs. The footballs. Okay. Yeah. And I'm like, oh my God. I'll get four. I'll get four and I'll I'll quadruple my money on eBay. I did think, oh my god, they're going for like uh nearly a grand and they're two hundred dollars here. I went, I'll get them and I'll get a suitcase. I'll get a suitcase anyway, so I'll just put them in the suit because I've got loads of stuff. How big are they? Well , I order it. And I'm at this point, I'm with all the other lads. I'm like, this is a we should all get one because like if you want one, and uh if you don't even want it, you can sell it if you want to be a scalper anyway. So I order it, turns up it is fucking massive . Now in America, we're sat there, we're also I've been in a pub for already for five hours, a pub called Twin Peaks, which is basically hooters . Just sort of barmaids with like glow cut tops on serving beer. So we've been in there all day watching like the football, all sorts, right. Let me send you a photo of how big this thing is. Okay. Right. I'll explain why there's two in a minute . Right. Have you got that photo, Josh? Yeah. So they are yeah, they're big they're actually the dimensions are bigger than the biggest suitcase you can buy. Well there's two there. Right, so there's two. Let me hear so we've seen 'em. If mine turns up at the pub 'cause of Instacart. So you imagine you're like eight pints deep and a load of footballs turn up at a pub, right? So I've got it. We're all pissing ourselves 'cause this is massive, right? So I'm thinking, Oh oh, well what I can try and do is ship it home or something. Yeah, that's what I'd think. Or bubble wrap it and put it in oversized luggage. Right. I'm thinking that. Anyway, another bloke in a group sees it and knows he's wanted them before, knows how expensive they are if you resale and I'm getting some as well. So he drunk and he orders it as well from Instacart. Okay? Yeah. His turn up, no balls in it. What? We're in the pub. He opens it, goes to look at it, and it goes, There's no balls. That is mental. So either someone stolen the balls or they've been put out on display, but he's basically ordered this thing that's turned up with no balls in. What do you do in that situation? That's a nightmare. Because you've got it on Instacart. Are you really going to go to Dick Sporting Goods? Yeah. Did he? Well, because he 'cause they he wrong Dick Sporting Goods and they went, I'll bring it back and we'll refund you . Yeah. So anyway, what we do is and then and at this moment, while we're trying to work out what to do, I'm like, well, I've got mine, I'll just bubble wrap it. We find out that the balls are now available in the UK on normal Oh my god, take 'em both back. Exactly. So we try to take 'em both back to get our money back. We get in there, he's on one till, I'm on the other. I can't get my money back because it's Instacar, only store credit. Oh my god. So now I'm in Dick Sporting Goods, five o'clock on a Saturday, shit faced, with two hundred dollars of store credit, right? So I'm like so I'm going round and I end up getting the bag I need because I need a bag, right? And all this other stuff. So you hadn't bought that yet? No, hadn't bought that yet. Because I thought I want to see what the balls are so I can get, yeah. So I'm now trying to bag. Then I see him trying to buy stuff. Anyway, so he's buying stuff because I'm like oh he's probably having to spend his store credit anyway so I buy some gift for the kids get some actual clothes I need for sport stuff I'll just do that now and yeah I'll put that as we're leaving I was like oh did they make you do store credit went no they gave me a full ref und. Well why the fuck were you buying stuff? He went, oh I just wanted the top. I was like well I could have got you to the top and you could have given me the money. So we go back to the pub and we all go you got these balls? Let me finish the story. Okay. We get back to the pub. Between going to Dick Sporting Goods and coming back and giving them back and me having to pay the store credit, they're sold out on the UK website. Oh my god. Why didn't you buy them on the way ? I didn't think I just thought they were back in stock, but they're so popular. Oh my god. Are they back now? Well, in the end, I had to buy them from Spain. What? They're available on a Spanish website and I just paid forty pounds delivery to get 'em. Adidas World Cup ball set . Oh, they are small, aren't they? Yeah, the little ones. Oh my god, Rob. And have they arrived? Yeah, I've got 'em. Do you want to see 'em or not? Yeah of course. Sorry, I was just looking at whether I could buy some. Give me a it's like a disease, everyone's addicted to buy them. Hang on See my balls? Oh my god. What are you gonna do with it? K PRPs, put it up uh on the uh on a presentation box? I don't know, but look. So are you gonna keep them in the box? I don't know, mate, I've only just got 'em. I've bet I've this first time I've looked at them. I've I've never even checked if they're all there. I don't know whether you're gonna get £200 worth of joy out of this. Oh fuck. Oh god, you've caught your you've caught your. Let me just put them away. I'll ruin it. But I've got the balls. I've been wanting to you for ages . Right. But yeah, I don't think knows what I'm gonna do with them. But I don't just pathetic, aren't I? Just got some sort of problem when it comes to football shirts and football stuff. What's going on with the plant behind you? The plant behind me's dead. Cause I've not been here . That's it. Yeah . Oh my god . Oh my god, right. Fucking disgrace, look at that . That's right in the bin. Do you reckon that's rescuable? Cut the green bits on it. Uh I don't know. For the people that are on audio, Rob's got a dead plant. At the moment it looks like some sort of fucking weird bunker for some weird YouTube well basically weird bunk of some mad podcast wanker. We haven't got a kitchen at the moment, Rob. Are you still sleeping on the floor? Well, I'm never here, so it doesn't really matter. But when you are, what's the set? Rob, I got to a hotel in London on Monday. Ye ah. And I thought this I don't think you can do this to people. Yeah. They were like, your room it's uh 010. I was like, all right, what floor's that then? They were like, it's in the basement. No . I went down there, opened the door , I thought it'd be like you know, when in a London house when you have the cutout, so the basement has got light. Yes, yeah. It had a a square pretend window with electric light to making it look like light was coming in. That's insane. And I was like, I instantly started to feel I was like, I can't be in here. This is making me really, I feel like I'm fucking in locked up. I can't just go to bed not knowing when the light's coming in the window. Do you know what I mean? Like Well is it on the light? Is the light set on a timer then? The fake. Have you got a photo of it? I don't Oh, I didn't. Yeah, I can show you the light. You just left the room. Did they change I said I can't sleep in there um because there's no natural light. Which I think s surely that's not the first time that's happened. Well I thought you can't if you're like renter, you can't say something it's a bedroom unless it 's got a window. Cause that's a cupboard, isn't it? Yeah, it's just so weird . Right? So I'll show you the light. Send me your window. Send me your window, less room. Send you the window. Oh sorry. Oh my god, Josh. That sounds like from a horror film. So that's like a fake sort of light in a window, like a window box light box on a wall. With a curtain. Imagine being that fucking fitter, putting a curtain up over a fake window . I know. That's not that's gaslighting you into thinking a cupboard's a bedroom. I know. And so I was like, have you got another room, please? And they were like, Well, we've only got a twin room. I was like, Yeah, fine. I'd of course I'll take that. Because I'll be able to see and hear the street. Was this London? Like a human being. Yeah, it was in London. Did you book it yourself for something? Uh was it a tour one? It was paid for by the thing I was doing there. Right. And so there was three options. I said, can I get a hotel in this area with a gym? Uh I got sent three options. Obviously, I didn't check whether one of them was gonna try and give me a basement hotel room. So I was just like, oh that one looks good, fine. It looked good. And then I was in the basement. I mean it was fine once I was in the twin room, although you're sleeping on a single bed is quite a weird experience. I told you that that time when I tried to book a hotel room and there was and I got to the booking through booking.com and I was like, There's no room here. So I just walk around the streets of Soho trying to find a hotel room. I must have told you that was ages ago. Horrendous. But absolutely horrendous. Anyway. So why did I say that? You said what you still Oh, we haven't got a kitchen. Yes, well, no kitchen. And you sleep and you're still sleeping on the floor? Well, one night out of seven at the moment. Yeah. But yeah. Have they got bedrooms yet, the kids? Or are they out of no, no. So we're in a we're in a reality. You I swear I have not spoken to you and you've been in a constant situation of sleeping and house for what feels like three years. I think that's true. Because you you had all this just before you did the kitchen at your old house. Yeah. And my son now refers to my bed as his bed. Do you think that once you're done here with the house and it's all done, will because Rose's love and passion is interior design. No, no, because she's doing it for a job, so it's fine. We literally wanted to leave London. No, no, no, no, but yeah, I know that, I know that but no not but I'm saying once it 'cause you've got a goal. We change this again. Because in in a way it's the equivalent, it's hard for interior designers because they are in a house all the time, right? Their own one as well as going to work. So it'd be the equivalent of you sat in a comedy club for the rest of your life but never getting on stage just for five minutes. If you told me to sit in a comedy club for an hour I'd go please don't I don't think I'll ever go to watch a comedy club again. I don't think you like comedy . Well no, I used to love it . And I do love but I don't watch it. I don't I never watch comedy. Do you watch comedy? Um, not when I'm doing my tour, because I'm worried I'll get too influenced and like those ideas will seep in. But in between tours I watch a lot of comedy, yeah. See, I've just I just don't find it relaxing anymore. So I don't watch comedy. I enjoy doing it and I enjoy all the other things I do. But then there's other things I do where I would so I do listen to podcasts. Yeah. And I do listen to the rad io, but I don't really watch comedy on TV. You watch entertainment TV and documentaries and stuff, don't you? Yeah, yes. Strictly strictly or traitors or all those things. Um What No but what I'm saying is though, uh maybe that's not a great analogy for you, but it's like if you are in a room, you your brain will always go, if I did this, I did that, I'll improve that and I can do that. That is just how you're programmed as as as your passion, isn't it? I I must be hard to see your point, but I don't think it'll happen. Because we've also got various things which so we've still got the garage to do. We're not doing that at the moment. Yeah, but the my day the danger is by the time you've done that, you'll start again on the thing you did first. No . I I I just think it's that must be so hard if your that is your job to be in a house and not con Lou does it 'cause she like, Oh, I wish I did this or do that, and you know, it must be so difficult not to. Real good woman. And now for a special part of today's show, What's the Big Idea where Josh and I will pitch each other our new business ideas. And it's brought to you by Tesco Mobile. Happy to be your second favourite network. Right, Josh. We love a small business, hence our small business shout-out section. But who's got the best business idea? Okay, I've got an idea for you, Rob. I've always thought this. People always go out for coffee. Yeah. Hot drinks. Yeah. What do you drink more than anything at home? Water. Yes. It's a water bar. A water bar? It primarily it does the best waters. Do you know what'll be good though, if you did water tasting. So you could try the different ones. Try all the different waters. What's that? Tap. What's that? Tap. What's that? Bottled. I think you might need a bit more like of different, like this is one from like a different country. Exactly. And you'd have a water menu and you'd have all the different types of water and then you could have flavoured ice. But you're flavouring the ice but not the water. Could I get um water with a uh cucumber ice cube in it, please? Okay, yeah, that's fun. How much are you charging for your water? Ten pounds of glass. Ten pounds of drink glass. That's why it's such a good business. But I think it's a lot of the water. Here's the here's the cat. Yeah. I'm just pouring out the tap out bag. Well I think if you if you mu if you put it that high, people go, it must be good water. Exactly. Do you know there is a business thing I saw where um this is with wine? Yeah. If you increase the price of wine, it sells more because people think it's better. So that's what I'm doing with my water . Ten pound a glass. Ten pound a glass. So if there's a ten cup tasting menus a hundred pounds ahead. Yeah, and it's called Hydrate is my place. Can you Hydrate is my place? It wasn't called that, but it is now. Hydrate is my place. Yeah, hydrate is my place, yeah. Hydrate palace. Hydrate palace. Do you know what my invention is for a new business idea? What? A car that the wheels completely turn so you just slide into spaces. That's a really good idea. Rather you'll never have the reverse sort of path in again. You just goes uh and just sort of slide in and out. I've got a good business idea. Go on. It's a pill that you take when your hair is exactly the length you like it. And it stays the same forever. It stays the same. I love it. But you you only t you take it one a day, then when you stop the pills it grow out. So you're not stuck with it forever. But every day you take it, your hair never dro pped Your hair remains the same. Yeah, that's great. I've got an idea for a business. Yeah. Hamsters, but they're like three foot high. So they're not all good ideas. That's what we're doing. No, I'm saying all like a tiny giraffe. So like some you don't invest in everything. Imagine if you could have a pet and a giraffe and it's as high as your knee. Yeah, I would like that. You would like and that imagine if I'd just knock it around. Yeah, that is good. That'd be a good business idea. What kind of businessman do you think you'd be? Well I think really to be a good business um man you need to take no nonsense you I'm too desperate to be likes to be a good businessman. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm a bit like I'd I'd rather just be nice. Yeah. I don't want to go home having had an argument with someone because they wouldn't meet me at seventeen per cent. Look out for those great business ideas coming to you soon. Or maybe not. Look, it takes a long time of research and development to get these things off the you know. Exactly. But you know, I think there's legs in that car. Everyone knows Tesco Mobile can give you a great business contract, but we also know that when it comes to running your business, it's your friends and family that matter most. And that's why they're happy to be your second favourite network. For business deals and terms, visit Tesco Mobile .com/ business anyway should we do a bit of correspondence or has you got anything else? What have I got on my notes? Oh, so one of the blokes I went on the golf trip with, um is um he got a tattoo at twelve . He got a tattoo at twelve. Of a bulldog holding a union jack. On holiday with his dad. What? What kind of people are you holidaying with, Rob ? A cross section of society. Exactly the kind of people people imagine you holiday with. Oh god. I quite like the idea of tats. You've already got Greg Davis tattooed, haven't you? Yeah, I've already got that on my foot. Well I've got that tattoo, haven't I with that like stoic sort of principle. But like the problem is it just becomes your arm. So it was really helpful for the first six months and very inspiring. I was like, yeah, that's yeah, I've got to remember that. But now it's just like looking at a thumb. Well the, that's same with interior design, isn't it, Rob? I remember like it was like when you're a kid and you do up your you change your bedroom round. Yeah, or move the sofas in the front room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was so exciting. And then you just get used to it. And actu ally the weird thing is, nice things in your house are completely wasted on you because you are the one person that doesn't notice them. You need to bring people around. Those little mini footballs, Rob. Yeah. The moment you put them on display , within a month you won't even be able to see them anymore. Yeah. It'll just be the thing on the wall. It'll just be the thing on the wall. And balls I never kick. What a sad life for a ball. Yeah. You do you need to be constantly changing stuff to see it. It's getting really philosophical. It's like Jake Humphrey. Go on, give it to me. When you look in the mirror, all you see has changed. So you'd see a spot or you'd see, you know, oh my hair's too long, or whatever. But you don't you can't you can't even see your face anymore, if that makes sense. No, it doesn't. I'm still trying to work out why my tattoos are interior design. If anything, because you can't see it anymore. Because it you've you've got used to it. Do you know what I mean it's part of the thing you're saying that Rose can't see how good the house is, she only sees the floors, that's why she comes in . No, no, no. I'm not saying floors. Well, the literally the floors aren't there's no floors in the floors. Well there won't be. But changing the floors. Oh yeah, which we haven't got any floor in the kitchen at the moment. No. What floor are you going for ? Um tiles? Yeah, probably in it. Can't go carpet. Have you ever seen carpet in the kitchen? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Carpet in the bathroom's mental. Oh my god. A little carpet around the toilet. What the fuck are you doing? Well no, I don't mind that if that if it's loose because then you can wash it. Oh but it's a piss carpet. It is a piss carpet. It's only there to gather up piss. What do you see when you look in the mirror, Josh? Well, just just nothing . Nothing. Because nothing's changed. Well, I go, oh, there's some lines there, or I go, you know, oh God, you missed a bit shaving, that kind of thing. What do you see? What do I see when looking at the mirror? I see I well, it depends, it changes on how I am, but I can t I can I can tell how I feel from my eyes. If you look back at photos, I don't know if you ever do that, you can I can see in my eyes if I'm in a good place or not in that photo. Oh wow. In the eyes of the giveaway. Yeah. Okay. Small business shout out? Yeah. Hello, Bobby Beckett, Joshie Widdy, and Michael. Please can you give a small business shout out to my brother-in-law who has just opened an independent record shop in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, J P's vinyl . Um he quit his job as a bar manager just before Christmas to pursue his dreams in opening a record shop. He stocks a variety of different genres from b brand new to second hand vinyls as well as vintage t shirts and tote bags. The shop is open Wednesday to Saturday and is located on Woolsworth Road underneath Ronan's coffee shop hitchin. Me and my fiance huge fans of you both uh that's not this is I don't like that this kind of attitude here. In bra what in brackets rob a bit more. Which I don't I don't agree with. I I'm I'm happy with that. I I don't think I think you should keep that to yourself, Rachel, trying to be edgy. Um Well also interestingly, you'd think someone that opened a vinyl shop would be more of a team with us. Yeah, exactly. Um we listened to the pod uh religiously despite being childless, say sexy and relatable always, lots of love, Rachel. I think they should do that for a bit of bants. I don't think I don't mind it, Rob. I don't mind it. I think everyone's got to have a favourite. Yeah, no one's fifty fifty down the line. It's sort of it swings. I always preferred Paul Chuckle and I just that's fine. To me, or to you, who's your favourite? To me? To me, it was Barry. To you? To me it was Barry. Oh. To me, Barry. Right. Hi . Former Petswood resident here, now relocated to Liverpool. My colleague's sister, Charlotte, and her husband, Dan, run Tommy Tumble Town, a children's role play centre in Backup, which is in the Rosendale Borough in Lancashire, which opened in April this year. The centre was created in memory of their son Tommy, who passed away age four after battling leukaemia. Tommy had Down syndrome and loved Mr. Tumble. The centre is their way of keeping his memory alive and creating a place he would have loved. What makes it special? Eleven mini role play areas, supermarket, vet, fire station, hospital, and more wicked. Inclusive environment using Macatron sign language, classes including messy play, toddler football, baby massage, monthly S E N sessions. Despite amazing feedback, footfall has been slow and they're struggling. Many people simply don't know they exist. It would really help if you could spread the word on the pod. It would mean the world to the family if you could support this beautiful legacy for Tommy. Amazing. More info. www. tommy tumble.co.uk. Go to tommy hyphen tumble.co.uk. Support that amazing thing. Where where where is it? Lancashire or Petswood? Backup. It's in Lancashire. Everyone go to that. That is a brilliant idea and a brilliant thing in their child's memory. Tommy Tumble sounds like an old school comic, doesn't he? He does, doesn't he? I used to prefer him to Clive Tumble. Brilliant on the cruise ships. He struggled in the mainstream clubs, but on the cruise ship you couldn't touch him, Tommy Tumble. Yeah. Enjoyed this, Josh. Thank you very much for listening, everyone. We'll see you next time. Thank you very much. Bye.