Italian Heritage and Future Tour Dates

This episode is brought to you by Xperian, the UK's most trusted credit score. This podcast is normally full of stories about the chaos that comes with being a parent, but every now and then we do have those moments in parenthood where we do feel like we've absolutely made it. Obviously, your life is littered with big financial moments. I tell you one, Rob. Yeah. When Rose first got pregnant, obviously you need this, we moved into a house that had enough room for a child's bedroom. That was a huge moment for us. A huge moment. You've got to go right. We need a bit more money. We need a bigger house. We're going for this. Love financial stories like that. And they all start with something as simple as improving your experience credit score. Because when you better your score, you better your story. Download the free Xperian app and better your story today. Xperian is a credit broker, not a lender. This episode is brought to you by Audi. Father's Day is coming up on the 21st of June, and to celebrate, Aldi have rolled out some quality steaks at unbelievable value. One of them is a specially selected Aberdeen Angus eight ounce ribeye, dryer aged for 25 days to make it taste proper bangin'. Even more bangin', it's only £7.29. That's on top of a load of other amazing Father's Day deals from which 's cheapest supermarket five years running. Swing by Audi to get your steak sorted for Father's Day. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with Archie. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. Yep, and can you say Josh Whitacomb? No. Josh Whiticum. No! Wow Go on Do you want your juice? Yeah. Josh Withicum. Josh . You can you say it? Um Rodie, can you say Josh Whiticum? Uh-huh That's close. That was close. You can have that class one. Well, there we go. Scottish Edinburgh. Yeah. Very Scottish. This is my three-year-old Archie, my one-year-old Rory Scotch names. Scotch. Sweaty sock jocks. That's what they like . This is my three year old Archie, one year old Rory trying to say your names. According to my mum, Archie's taken after me with his stubbornness at doing what he's asked. Uh, but I think he smashed Rob. Rory unexpectedly chimed in with Josh, even though he could only say about three words. Love the podcast. They keep me saying when I get a dog walk with a baby nap. Oh that's good. Fiona in Edinburgh. I so hard having a dog when you've got a baby. Get dogs after babies, not before. Jesus. Oh yeah. Jesus. J'zus. J'izus. Um so . Um Jack Savaretti . So good looking. Very handsome guy. Is he gonna be the fittest man we've ever interviewed? Oh no, we'd had David Gandhi, didn't we? True. But it's it's literally his job. I know. Savaretti. Yeah, true, maybe not, but nice guy that I met him on Graham Norton, very nice guy. Saveretti. Savaretti. He's I think he's I think he might be plugging. Is he doing royal? I think he's doing the Royal Albert Hall but um yeah he's really nice guy. Oh nice yeah yeah did you did he sit there the whole time or did he join after he'd played his song? Joined after he played his song which we I always feel sorry for them because they're always are just a bit hot or busy in the nurse. 'Cause they're in the zone of performing then all of a sudden they're just there with like loads of people staring at 'em. 'Cause it's not like the other chat where like everyone takes a bit of turn, it's like all on you now savage. Yeah. But um I i I was jealous of him. Yeah. I really want to tell people that I'm half Italian and then go to Italy and drink coffee in a square. He's got an even more Italian name than Jack Savaretti. Has he? Giovanni Edgar Charles Galletto Savaretti. Oh my gimme a couple of them names, will ya Jack? Get up. Oh I'd love that. What's your name? My name's Gianlu uh Gianluigi Beckett.. Bequette Bequette. I want to go to watch Genoa play football with Jack Saveretti. Well, why don't you ask him? I'm gonna say that to him. One, how you're so sexy, how's the music going? How are the kids? Can I come and watch Genoa play? Perfect. Where is Genoa? Uh Genoa Genoa Sam Doria are from Genoa, aren't they? Um I think it's North. All the best football teams are north, aren't they, generally? Apart from Napoli. I think in Italy, that's where like the posh the money's up north. The posh money's up north in Italy. And they look down on the boot. Yeah, they do. Let's get into Italian politics with Jack Savaretti . Jack Savaretti, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me, guys. Now, obviously we're we're just all getting on so well that we didn't we just started chat. We didn't started. No. That's how good we are. Did a great job. Yeah. Um, but full rundown, three kids . Three kids. How many what did you say? Dogs and cats? Four dogs. And now we've sort of inherited a cat not inherited a cat. A cat chose us as even though you've got four dogs. Even though we got four dogs, which is impressive. Um it took her a while. She's at somebody had abandoned her. She's a beautiful cat. I'm not a cat person, but she's a beautiful cat, completely beautiful. I'm a cat person. And you've got four four dogs. It took her six months. I built her like a little chalet meow meow, I call it Oh wow. And I and so she started staying in there. And now that it's sort of spring and we have the the doors open, she started to sort of come in. Oh no bothering her. The dogs are a little bit scared of her. What dogs you got? I've got a border collie and then we have three cocker poos, cocker sort of small dogs. Oh, for small dogs. The border collie's quite big. She's quite big. She's sort of my size soulmate. Massive. Not that big. Big for a dog, though. Too big for a dog. We just sort of walked to to get everywhere together. She's my she's my soulmate. And then the other three are just pretty hectic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you haven't got a favourite then with the dogs too much. So you had the border collie first and then the cockkapoos came second? No, we had a cockkapoo and then she had puppies and then we fell in love with all the puppies so kept them. Which was a great idea. Um and then the border collie actually belonged to a friend of mine , but he had he had a he had a few troubles with drugs, substances and all that, and ended up sort of in hospital and this dog was just sort of abandoned. And I ended up going to take her and she was pretty nuts. She was living in a pretty wild environment. Oh god. And wasn't the best idea. We had just had our daughter, um, and she was like six months, and I took this dog home and I realized probably can't keep this dog. But actually, border collies are unreal with their intelligence. Yeah. And she just read the room like nobody's business. And she just learnt how to sort of move around and mind her own business. Really? Yeah. It was also the time where I had just lost my father. So it was like it was very needed to have this kind of support. It was it was hell of a This is like the podcast equivalent of uncut gems. I can't stop blinking like that. I'm still on the f I'm still trying to process the cockapoon pregnancy . Which happened on New Year's Day of all days. Oh my god. My wife deliver ed them. She learned from YouTube. I mean a lot of people are going to get angry at us because this isn't the way to do it. My aunt's a dog breed and was furious at us for doing this. Um but we did it out of love. But did you know she was pregnant? We did trying to get the dog pregnant. We were because we all my wife and I had two different midlife crises. It's all coming out very quickly here. We're good at this summer . Keep going, Jeff. But basically Cry when you want. No, but basically my wife's midlife crisis was really amplified by her fear of our dog dying. That sort of became Maggie who is the original, like the dog we've had for now she's fifteen, sixteen. Yeah. So she was very connected to this dog was worried. And she was like, before she while she still can, let's breed her. So that we'll always have Maggie in our lives in some shape or form. Okay, yeah. It was very romantic, but it was madness. Yeah. And uh yeah, she turned into sort of Florence Nightingale delivering these dogs, me and the kids downstairs, hearing screams. So how many were delivered? Three ki three um Kittens. That's how bad a job she did . Never do this at hope. Yeah. Um no, three showed up, but one a friend of ours had was living was experiencing something terrible, so she took one of them. Yeah. And the other two, we fell in love, sort of we were all arguing with which we one were gonna keep and we just get. Yeah, it's only gonna wear innit. So I'm trying to get my head right. So we've got the what was your midlife crisis then? Because if hers was breeding the dog My midlife crisis was making this album. No I don't make another Sounds like a very busy household. It's three kids, all the dot all that 'cause if you've got how old are the kids? Fourteen, eleven and five. So that's yeah, so it's a busy ages from like young school kid up to like teenagers going to G CSEs and out all these dogs. You've written an album, you're going on the hall about the whole thing. The only time I could be alone was I'm writing, like leave me alone. No, I think my my midlife crisis was literally on my fortieth birthday. I sort of lived the dream. We were in Italy in a place called Portofino, the most beautiful place in the world. Everybody I loved was there, friends and family. And I just had a real like why are all these people here? Who do do they know who I am? Do I know them? One of these existential like what is all of this? Like in a sort of way feeling kind of like very fortunate, but also like sort of guilty about the whole thing. I was like, how is this possible? What's gonna what do I do with all of this? And then I also realized I could throw a grenade into my whole life here. Like what would happen if I just completely flip this upside down? Yeah. And just that realization was terrifying that that is possible I'll just I'll just breed your dog instead. Do you have no thoughts like that all ? No, not until you put it in my head., but you're right I d I have thoughts sometimes when I'm doing live TV or live radio and just think I could say something awful now. And it would all go wrong. And it's all over like like that. Almost like Thanos . Yeah, the naivety of you disappears and you suddenly Yeah. They've gotten you this far as well. You sort of give yourself a pat on the back because you're like, actually I've made some great choices. So it was a positive thing as well as a like a a confusing thing that Well it was once I realised wow I've made great choices , I was like, Oh my choices do matter. Once you realize the value cool, you will be able to find a problem in a in a chilled situation. Feels like a waste of money this birthday. Yeah. But it feels like a lot of money spent on quite a negative experience. No, I'm I'm uh I'm generally favours. Well those lot of strings for that party. I could never have afforded that party. Why I was reading your Wikipedia name and you you're not called Jack. No, I've always been called Jack. Like my mother's called me Jack, but on my passport I'm Giovanni. I was named after my grandfather. But my because I was born in London, my mother's English, and she was just like Giovanni's gonna be a tough one. Oh right. But you know, especially like early eighties, she was just like she wasn't crazy. She just wanted to be a thought a less spectacular stage name. I thought you' m I'm one of the only people who've ever doled down their name for for the stage. No, I've been asked to change my name. I've been asked to change my last name a lot in the music business. I'd have thought it's a cell. I I agree. I think it's interesting. It's also just who I am. Like it is what it is. But I've been told I got one executive said if we keep your name we'll have to put you in the world music section. I hate the term world music already. So but it's just music not in English. Um but yeah that was an interesting It happened a few times What name did you toy with? Did you ever consider D was there any short list? No no he did s he did suggest Sav or Savo or something like that. Jack Sav sounds like a criminal from the fifties. I mean Jack Sav used to work with a craze. So that um sort of midlife crisis realisation, then you wrote the album off the back of that basis. Is that what was the motivation? No, not really. Well I mean it had just come from a period where I had I had lost my father, we'd just had a we'd had a third child sort of thing. We were coming to that, which was also a shock to the system. Because let's just say Celeste number three, but Celeste, it was a surprise. It was a very much like we were sort of out on the other side. Six six year gap. Yeah, ten year with the eldest. Oh god, yes, that's a long yeah. It was a long time and we were starting to find ourselves again and starting to just it was just things were changing. W my wife and I were starting to hang out a lot more Yeah the calls. Hence what happened. Too much time together. Um but it I mean it was the best thing that happened to us and I'm gonna throw that cliche out there because it is. Oh of course it yeah, it was just but it can be a shock at the time. It was a real shock. She was really happy. It was a bit like the say that again, I mean she might not like me saying this, but it was a bit with her midlife crisis. The same thing with Maggie, the dog, like keeping her alive. This was another thing. Yeah, because it's yeah, having her own moment of questioning time and is there time for one more? Could I do this again? Should we have another one? She was very much in that m mentality. I really wasn't. I mean it was just during COVID as well, and like it was during the lockdown where finally the world did stop for for me. I mean I hate saying that because it wasn't a great time for people. But for me personally, it was really nice to stop and to not have that sense of guilt for stopping. Yes. Like I'd always been asked. Or worry it was taken out of your contrast. It was like, no, everything stopped so you can actually turn off now. And when that happened, I was like, I was tired. I realized I was actually really tired. And when this so when we got pregnant again, I was like, oh man I gotta go back to work. This is gonna be tough. But luckily has actually been the best source of inspiration for that. Yeah. For both of us, for my wife and I. And what does she do? She's an artist. She was an actress. Yeah. And then during she's always been an incredible artist, but she had focused mainly on her acting and done some amazing films, worked with Tim Burton, Francois on, done some great stuff. But then during lockdown again, there was a real she realized I don't want to go back out there. I think she had just had her time. Yeah. I think it's hard. It's brutal acting. That becomes kind of the craft surviving that. Do you know what? You so rarely get it in our job where you are up for something and there's a list of people or you don't know the list of people but you have to go along and you have to audition. It's I don't know it's so rare. Yeah. And then you'd have to watch whoever got the job and your whole life if you're an actor is presumably lived in just this kind of edge of will I get that? What if I get that? What when do I find out about that? Oh, I've got a callb.ack I wonder how many people have got a callback. All of that. I don't know how every actor isn't insane. A lot of them are. Well the the wor the worst part of a normal job. Like when I worked in an office job, the worst part of working office job is going for job interviews and your first day at work. And that's essentially all acting is all the time. It's going for the interview and then being there for a day or something. There is a buzz if you do get the job. Yeah like oh and that was becoming more of her like she was very becoming quite competitive. And I think the craft was taking a back seat and that's when she was like I'm this is not good. She didn't like that feeling. It was no longer about the craft of acting, it was the craft of like the audition, getting the job, which is part of it, don't get me wrong. Yeah, I think that's when she was just like done with that. And so she wanted to I think really master a craft again and creation and art was there. Suddenly she was in charge. She was the one that could just make things come to life from nothing. And she's a ridiculously prolific, wonderful and successful artist. So that that was an interesting switch for both of us as well. How does she find you going back on tour then? Because obviously I'd lock down home together. Really? I think for multiple reasons. First it means I'm still working, which is a nice thing. Yeah. But also I think we've always had that in our relationship. We've been together twenty two years. So that distance makes the heart go fonder. It I it keeps us incredibly like, you know, the choice of being in love rather than it's easy to be in love when everything's hunky dory. Yeah. But to choose it when things are then when there's a struggle and all that. I think that the touring and being away from each other makes you feel like you're sort of fighting and holding on to something again. And it does it is incredibly bonding for us. Do you find that Rob? Well it's different for comedians, isn't it? Because we go to like Doncaster for the night and drive home. No, but with music, when you tour abroad like you tour abroad a lot more and you're away for six weeks. Yeah. Non stop where I'll be back and I'll do the school run, but then I'm going to Leeds. Yeah. Yeah, but I I have to be honest, I've me personally have been able to build much more of that career. It's not by joys, by lack of success, maybe also I do I don't really have like I'm never away from like two weeks is kind of the limit. Yeah, I for I can't do any more than that because especially with the kids. Totally. I don't like it. I don't like what happens. I get too detached. They get almost too detached as well. They sort of like just move on without you. Yeah. So it becomes a bit uh two weeks is the most. Yeah, I think that's a good good decision . This podcast is brought to you by Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant. We're pretty good friends now, aren't we, Josh? Wouldn't you say? Despite the rumours. Yep. Still going strong. But we don't always agree. That's what a good friendship is built on. We are different , we have different views on things , but we are gonna use that to settle some debates we've had, bubbling along. Yes. Using Gemini so good one is we have different approaches if our kids won't leave the play park. You're in the park. Yeah. It's four thirty on a Saturday. You just want to get the kids out of the play park to get home. Mm. They're refusing to go. Yeah. How are you getting them out? It's difficult 'cause they're getting older now, it's become a slightly more psychological warfare. Where when they were younger, whatever you say they ignore you and run away. Yeah. Then they get a little bit older where you go, No, you need to come now and the stern voice makes them go, Oh, I will dad. Yeah. So what do you do? Mm I don't know if this is great. I sort of go, Well, I'm going and then I I go to walk out the park and then almost make them believe they're being left. And then they end up bottling it and go, No, I'll come as well, Dad. So I'm a walk out, not looking at 'em, turn the corner, hope for the best.. Okay Do you know what my my attack does. I w by the way, for the record I w I'm not actually leaving them . They're in full sight the whole time. But I can't let them see me. What I do . It's bad. I'll buy them off with ice cream, Rob. I know I'll do it Ye.ah, 'cause everyone's a winner then. Yeah. They won't finish. I'll get ice cream as well. So it's win win win. To be fair, that walking out the park thing's only new as they've got older, but what I would do when they're younger just pick 'em up and carry them out. Let's see what Gemini thinks is the best way to deal with it. So all I do, get my phone out, click on the Gemini app. Here we go. I'll just ask the question. Uh could you settle a debate for us? When your kids are in the park at the weekend, the play Um that's a classic parents dilemma. Both of these methods can definitely have a practical effect, but maybe not the best long term. Carrying them off can feel like you're taking control, but it doesn't really teach them how to move on to the next thing, and buying them off with ice cream could get you into a pattern where they always expect a reward for leaving. A lot of people find success with giving warnings like a five minute warning before we leave, or making the transition fun, like let's race to the car. Yes, that's better than ours. Yeah. Okay, let's try something else here. This is a situation I get myself in quite a lot. Hello, Gemini. Um basically all I've got is some plain pasta, I've got some pesto, I've got a couple of like wilted carrots and a pack of min ce. Help me create some sort of hidden veg recipe that I can cook in 20 minutes and the kids are actually gonna eat. You can quickly grate the carrots and mince them with the meat. Fry the mince , add the grated carrots, and mix in your pesto with the cooked pasta. The finely grated carrot will blend in with the mince and the pesto will add a strong flavour the kids might love. Does that sound like something they'd eat? Sounds like something I'd eat. And I'm vegetarian. You've got you've got two sold guys here, Gemini. That's a great idea. Thank you. That's really good that create it, make it look like mints. And they're gobbling up carrot and they don't even know. Exactly, Rob. Until they start seeing in the dark, then they'll be suspicious. Someone's been sneaking carrot in my dinner. Do you know what that was genuinely impressive? And those are solutions I would use myself. If you're listening, you've got your own parenting problems that you want to ask Gemini, give it a go and let us know what solutions it comes up with. Download the app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Sequences shortened, check responses, setup required, compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus does it feel different going back out when you've got kids to Yeah. This I think it's getting harder actually if I'm totally honest. Like just because parenting is getting so much cooler. Yeah. Like I love it. And y also when the first time around I I you know, you've got a sort of six month old kid in your hand and you're like, this this this is gonna this is it forever. You don't realize how quickly time flies. You don't realize how quickly that six month old is wanting to spend the weekend with friends and not answering your text messages when you're like, where are you? Like suddenly that's gone. That moment of like is gone. And so now I mean I feel sort of sorry for my third my daughter because I am like properly like holding on to every moment I can with her because I know how quickly this goes. So I think the the absence I literally felt like you know like a film and a soul leaves a body. Oh no . So you go back to having all your friends there and thinking one decision could ruin it all. I mean you're laughing a lot for someone who's really bringing some dark thoughts into the world. That's why he's good as singer songwriter. This is like my therapy. I'm gonna I'm giggling it. Am I allowed to call you a singer songwriter? Is that allowed or is that not I don't know? It's world music, isn't it? Don't ever go in because what he said made you know, it's in English. I made one world music album in Italian, the rest is in English. No, I mean I'm I'm a very jolly person. That's why I I only write sad songs, so I don't usually write one on. Do you f this is an interesting thing. I think the darkest comedians are often the lightest off stage, right? Yeah. And the light fluffy ones are the ones that the real Yeah . A deep well, what I'm trying to say is like Chris Martin's quite a laugh from what I can tell, but he's quite sad in his songs or whatever. Is there a lot of people that do sad music, but they're actually quite a laugh? Is that in my experience a hundred percent? Yeah. I Luis Capowdi is a good example. Perfect example. Actually I always find some it's the same thing, the ones that are making all the jolly sort of stuff like that. There's a darkness to them that you obviously don't want you Totally. Yeah. Yeah, for me it's always been a bit like that. I remember when I said to provide an example of that person? No. No, because I know them quite well. One of them I know quite well. No, I would never do that. Uh but when I started out, for example, I used to I mean all the the guy some of the guys that I really admired, they were all very quiet and somber on stage and they wouldn't say much in between songs. And I remember when I started out I used to sort of imitate that. And it was actually my wife who was like, what the fuck is that? Like that's not you. You're the guy who doesn't shut up and like is laugh is laugh you I can hear you laughing from four bars away. Why aren't you doing that? And actually once I got comfortable with just being that. I think the songwriting got better. Yeah. Funny enough. Because I didn't have to sort of I don't know. I was able to put it there and it didn't entirely define me. Like that's just a part of myself. It wasn't my everything. Yeah, you gotta be cool. But like like do you like C Matt? Like she C Mat is now she had Harry Hill on stage when she did the uh um Alexandra Palace, she's really funny. She does and it's the same with Lewis Capaldi. There's there's totally this thing now where I think people are going, Oh, I can be funny, and it doesn't undermine the music. I also think we know more about artists and that. Like I think back in the day there wasn't that much known, but they were actually like that. Like Leonard Cohen was hilarious. Right. Like Leonard Cohen. Yeah, well that's a perfect example, right? And like I don't know if you've seen the documentary on him. It's fantastic. Like he's it' uhs very witty, very social . You never think that you think this is. Well it's like David Bowie's really normal. Whenever you see David Bowie interviewed, you're like Oh, he's like a really normal blow that just dresses up and performs. Totally. I love his interviews when they're like they they'll they'll back in the day they were trying to trip him up all the time because he was trying to bring it out. You must be weird or something. And he was so good at us going, No, I'm all right, no. What brilliant I love Boy, big boy fan. But that that that's definitely I think something that now that we know more about those artists, even from that time, yeah, you don't have that weight of having to keep up appearances by being cool and quiet. Can I ask you about the Graham Norton show? Yeah. 'Cause we did that together. Thank God you were there, man. 'Cause did you did you think he had as bad a one as he was ? What do you mean? No, it's it's it's too nice for that. What do you mean? He's trying to pretend I had a badge gig. No. That was all right. No, but I was sitting next to a naughty school kid. Like you kept making me laugh. Like I was trying to be cool on that self, but I was like, okay, be cool. Who was on? Was it so was it Chris Pratt, Cynthia Arrivo, Dawn French, me, then you? Yeah. Right. It's dinner party. Well actually it was my dream dinner guest party that I'd I'd asked for the week before and it just happened. No 'cause well as a comedian, you're on at the end to try and lighten the mood and be the bit of the joke when they've got their sort of like film stars, mega stars, come on. But it's weirdo for the musicians because you're like not involved at all. Then you sing your s you know, you do your song, and it's very hard to do those songs in a studio studio audience with TV. Yeah, one, two, three, yeah, and it's every single person I've seen ever do it. They're doing it and they're doing really well, but it's not like a normal gig. You're playing for the environment. And then you sort of have to do it twice, because they make everyone do it twice, you do it once and do it another one for cameras or whatever. And then they go, right, welcome over, Jack Savaret. So we've been there for like two hours and then being late to a party where everyone's got to be. And then you have to you're all out of breath 'cause you've been performing. And it's so hard. Which are you thinking about when you're stood backstage thinking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck as we all think literally are you thinking Yeah yeah Are you thinking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I've got to do the song in the studio or you thinking fuck fuck fuck I've got to go and talk to the study. No, no, the song is easy. Like, it's not easy, don't get me wrong. No, no. But you hope it is what it is. You can't go back now. That is what it is. It's the like please say something a little bit. So that's hanging over the song. That's hanging over the song. and also Also, because some you talk about Capaldi, some guys are amazing at it. They'll come and they'll drop that bomb that they know will you know it'll do something. The viral or you know, that that's all they want. Yeah, but they're good at it. Exactly. That that's what they kept doing. No, otherwise I'd be doing it all the time. But I've never had that until this time. They kept saying, just say something that maybe go viral. I was like, Oh that actually said that this Yeah, twice before I went on. I was like, If I knew how to do that, I wouldn't have to be here. A hundred percent. 'Cause I did the Claudia recently, Claudia Wincombe Show, and the American person who it always depends on. Yeah. Who was the guy from Shits Creek who is Oh I saw this about Mr. Blob. Yeah Mr Blob was such a laugh. Everyone's like Ah just relax. But I think the best thing to do on those shows is to just have a laugh. Of course. Or to try not to I've I'm I think when I was really young and I went on them I would try to be very s serious and whatever. Yeah. And nothing comes a like you sort of just I once sat through an incredibly long chat about Shakespeare and I thought no one's getting anything like this. This isn't gonna help my career at all. I I did Jonathan Ross once and I never normally drink on them things, but it's sort of gone quite well and they went, Do you want to drink? I went, oh yeah, can I get a r like a rum and coke zero or whatever? And then there was loads of breaks, so they kept on bringing me a new one. I was drinking them, and then I was so pissed. Jaran Jaran come on. Oh, yeah, great. And I was just looking at it and I was like, I didn't know I couldn't they all look like the same man. Of course they do. They all but the same man from 30 years ago. But they were like they were trying to talk to him and I was just like I was I nearly called a bloke duran giran like ha ha ha ha ha but then that's horrible when you're in that situation 'cause you feel so vulnerable because you're like you don't you don't want to be drunk but I had that last time on Norton. I stupidly had like a whiskey. Oh really? Yeah. And I just I think I sat down next to it. I just took it, boom, yeah, like that. But that's one. I had about six. Yeah, but um I was gonna ask about um you know, busy household, a lot of kids, and different ages of kids, and you've got the dogs which it sounds like you both love. Care about more than the kids from what I can tell. Um care, but hang out with them. At least they're there. So what what what are you doing for holidays? Are you leaving the dogs with people? Go to the door . No, the dogs we have we have a lovely neighbour who basically moves in and stays with them and the dogs are almost as happy, if not happier , 'cause they just get a hundred percent of their attention. Whereas with us you can imagine sometimes a dog is hiding from the chaos. But no, it's all good. And then the kids when you like picking a holiday, are you trying to you know, 'cause it's hard to keep a teenager happy in a five-year-old. Well, so now what we do, like the one thing that I've really tried to bring in is reminding the kids where they're from. So it's about spending time in Italy. Yeah. And we we always do like now rather than we did a few, I remember when sort of my career started doing okay and we'd had kids, we did the super like far long holidays, getting on a plane, going to an island, whatever. And we were noticing that we were spending a fortune to get somewhere for like four days. Yeah. Two days of which was jet lag. The other was like packing to leave again and then coming home and feeling and it was amazing, but we were like, this isn't there's no longevity in this. I don't feel like we really experienced anywhere either. We didn't sort of see anything else but a hotel or a result and a baby. Exactly. So now what what I'd rather we try to do every year is we go one month. It's a little island called Formentera, which is just next we beat it. You can only get to it by boat. And we go for one month and I just watch my children transform. Like the first week they're, you know, tourists and then like by week two, week three, suddenly their whole attitude just changes. Like they really sort of just become locals. They just they're just at ease. And I love that. And every year I ask them if they want to do something different and that's now they've got friends there now, like they know where to go. My fourteen year old can go to the local village and she can walk back at night by herself and with friends and all that. So have a bit of another experience. Yeah, it really is. But that's Spanish, not Italy. It's Spanish but filled with Italians. Oh really? Yeah. Fort era is like Italians have sort of taken over. Yeah. They definitely have, yeah, yeah. Who do your kids support in the World Cup? Well, I , no, no. That's horrible. In the hypertack was no in the ever qualified for the world cup. Sorry, in the nations league. My son has never seen Italy in a World Cup. Oh my god. Which is the Euros. Yeah, so what happened in the Euros? The Euros was make or break. He was five. Yeah. All his mates were suddenly showing up to school with the England jersey. Yeah. And he was like my dad my son, he talks like a gangster. He's got this like uh he's got this really husky voice. I don't know where he gets. Um and he was like Papa, what you know, uh everyone's going for England, I think Italy's gonna lose. Everyone says England are gonna win and in England you do talk about England winning a lot before the game. Like that is the thing and I was like, Don't worry, don't worry. Anyway, we sat down to watch the game and it was me and my son in Italy jerseys and my wife and my daughter in England jerseys with the flags of St. George and that she they really went to town painted painted around about full shebang. Almost. Sounds like I wouldn't put it past that . Um and then England scored first and my son gave me this look of like what you did . Why have you done this to me? Anyway, we all know how that went. Yeah. And he was super happy and he's been it's so do you think if England had gone on to win that as they deserved to I think I would have lost him. Then you would have lost him. I do and that was really heartbreaking because like you inherit your national team. Like I'm go for Italy because my dad was Italian and I remember Italy nineteen ninety yeah and it was a great England team too with Lincoln Gas and we had Schilacci and all that and it was just I remember that moment me I remember being conflicted as well. I was going to school. I was living in London and my dad was like, This isn't an option. Like we watch your Italy. And you just bond. And that's the thing that's heartbreaking about Italy not being in the World Cup again. For a whole generation, we haven't had that . When there's forty eight teams, it's very difficult to get in, isn't it? You have been going for him. Since he mentioned that thing about his daughter being young and your soul left your body, you've said his wife's got a flare up for us. Now you haven't a doubt about this. That was a gamble. And you're a geno you're a Genoa fan of that. I was a big Genoa. So have you passed that on? I've passed that on. The first game he took it was last year two years ago we were in Serie B and we were playing . I was in Milan actually on a work thing, and everyone was coming up to me saying, Oh, tomorrow Jen was gonna get promoted. Genoa's gonna get promoted. Might have had a few too many drinks. I phoned my father in law and I was like, listen, if I get you guys a plane, would you fly Winters? My son, he's go Winters. Would you guys would you fly Winter out tomorrow morning to see Genoa play? When they flew out at like five in the morning, they arrived. We were treated like because I did a song at the stadium, so I have a strong connection with the team. This was the first football game he'd ever been to. And when he got there we won, pitch of Asia. So he's a Genoa fan as well. But we're Gooners at the end. Jack, can you can you can you take me to watch Geno Genoa play? I I I I promise you we should do that. Yes. It's un it's unreal. It's very different to here. Yeah. But I think also our age we I love. Italian football was Italia. Yeah, yeah. And it was the best football there was. So we've got an idealised view that we'll always have of Italian football as the best. It's still there, you still get the vibe. It's just the quality of the football. I've got an idea. Why don't we do the first ever parent in hell on tour video And we get it and we film it and we do a little film of us going to watch General Play with Jack. You know it's a good thing because a lot of kids. I was trying to back you up, but I don't think I was a big No, no, sounds like a pain in the arse, yeah. We'll just I'll just go. Also because stadiums in Italy, I mean, they're not super kid friendly. No I I mean I they are. They're quite they're terrifying. So do you take your son have you taken him since? Uh no, I haven't taken him since. Do you go to Ar Arsensenalal or just watch? We've gone to Arsenal. We've gone to Arsenal a few times. Yeah. But he was like properly spoiled with Arsenal. Did he have a bit too much of a you know VIP experience? A very VIP experience. Thanks to my Spanish tour manager. Um we were actually just rehearsing like it was a couple weeks ago it was to go see Arsenal Everton. A great game the Max Dom the Max Dowman moment. And we were right there like anything you want to say about that shit on that kid's dream? I don't know what the Max Dowman moment is. Is it the sixteen year old youngest goal in the premiership? Yeah, and he came on and set up a goal and then he scored. He changed the game. Yeah. Arsenal football which hasn't been great. This kid came on. But I was there we were there in Arteta's wife's box. So wow. Was there a flare in there as well? Sorry. What's Arteta's wife like? I don't meet her. I have met her once. I can't imagine. I can't imagine he's a laugh to be married to. Sorry. I'm sorry, Jack. Can you imagine? She's intense. Those grey trousers clinging onto his arsehole like a fucking cliff climber's fingertips. There's no way Mikel Arteta on this would be a laugh. Oh. Imagine him doing a barbecue. Shouting at it. Move move. Attack the space sausage. I have not met him, but uh me and my wife had a really embarrassing moment where we we live out in Oxfordshire. And we were having sushi and Artet and his wife sat right next to us. And my wife and I were just like I my wife didn't really understand but I I was like sort of smiling and they kept sort of staring and sort of talking. Yeah and I was and I walked off I was like that was Mikara Tet and his wife she didn't know who I was talking about and I was like I think he might have like recognized me or something 'cause they were chatting away. And as I'm talking to my wife, I suddenly like it just suddenly clicked. Both of us were wearing Arsenal caps. Really? Yeah, but they're like sort of vintage ones. So I hadn't really like clocked and I was like, oh my God, that's why they were looking at us 'cause we were like two Pratt just sat next to them. Both in an arsenal house. Well yeah, I wanted to say that if I was leaving the house with Lou to go for sus hi at Soho Farmhouse, we were both wearing matching caps, I'd go shall I take mine off? You think one of us would have taken it off? Yeah. I've got a blue one, she's got a burgundy, whatever anyway. This episode is brought to you by you, Home of the Way Out, a brand new comedy escape room series. Hosted by Mel Gedreutch, a group of comedians led by Ed Gamble and Ishkumar battle through fantastical worlds. Clues are hidden in plain sight, assumptions are dangerous, and every mistake costs valuable time . Obviously we've been on TV with Ed and Nish, we've been in green rooms with Ed and Nish. They bloody well don't get out of the green room, are they? They're not gonna get out of the escape room, am I right? Yeah, bloody right, am I? You weren't booked on the comedy show. Josh, we're in a fantastical world. Can you stop wiggling your glasses doing bums? I'm sorry, yeah. Ronnie Corbett's not in this fantastical world. It's 2026, mate. We're in a fantastical world. Um, Ed'll do all right, Nish will panic. Yeah, Ed will laugh in a sort of filmmate, Nish will get angry and shout. Perfect. Perfect casted. Perfect casted. They both went to a posh Durham uni. So does that mean you're clever? Nish presents as more academically clever than Ed. Do you know what though, Rob? There's only one way to find out. The Way Out features a stellar comedy cast including David O'Docerty, Amy Annette, Chloe Pets, and Lou Sanders. Watch the Chaos Flow! The Way Out. Stream for free on you . Would you ever move to Italy? Realistically, like ideally like in a dream world, yes. But I think it's a very tough for what I do, for what we do realistically now with my kids who've grown up very very m they're my kids are very Are they um bilingual? No. No. I didn't do very well with that. I kind of dropped the ball on that. It's hard. Too late as well. Look that you've got enough on your plate, you're knackered, you're like, I don't want to speak teach them a whole language. Also because Yeah, there is a bit of that. Hey, I'm I've had four hours sleep. I can't please I can't be the teacher, the tutor as well. No, but you also feel rude. Like when we lived in London it was okay ish because I had some Italian friends in London and all that, but in the countryside, you really feel like you're proving a point, you're making a point. And it's like, and the kids look at you like what? Don't do this to me. It's well confusing when you see a fan I saw a family on holiday like that, and there was an English guy, and I think she was Dutch or German and he spoke to them in English and the kids spoke back to him in English and then the wife spoke to them in Dutch or German and they spoke back to her in Dutch or German. I do think they call it mother tongue for a reason. Like I think when my like friends of mine with couples, bilingual couples. That's your wife's full. Well English wife she can't speak Italian. No, it's tough for her to teach it then. I think exactly that's what I always say. But I'm like if if if she we we did like when we do go to Italy and my wife does start trying to speak Italian, you can see the kids suddenly engage with it like much more than if I'm doing it. Like it's taken and sort of as it is what it is if Papa speaks it. But friends of mine who are buying Your Papa. Papa. That's cool, eh? Yeah, Papa. I want to be papa. What are you doing? How can I check rebrand to Papa? Dad. Dad's dad 's lovely too. No, I want to be papa. Papa's lovely. It's soft though. Why don't you just go home and say I'm now papa? I'm Papa the artist formerly known as Dad. Big Papa no, not Big Papa. Big Papa's weird. Little papa? Little papa's even weirder. Just straight up. And what they call their mum. Mama. Mama. Papa Mama. Papa Mama. Actually, my little one right now keeps trying to say when she's trying to be cute, she says daddy, daddy, daddy, and I just don't I don't respond. I cold shoulder the crap. None of that shit. I'm Papa. And if when you're uh if they have kids and you become a grandparent, what's what I'll probably still be papa. Just papa. Probably because they'll probably call their I don't know. They're it depends who they marry. I don't 'Cause it's a Yeah, of course, yeah. So I don't know why I 'cause if your English kid meets an English woman and then has an English kid It's probably gonna be dad , yeah. It's I mean it'd be I don't know. I do it Oh I'll double down on Papa. Double down on Papa. Without us. Why don't you call me Papa? Can we start there? And then I can bring it into our home life. We'll start at work. All right. Have you got the final question, Papa? We're not there yet. Um quick question. Have you gone for Italian names? No No., we've um well Con Connie my my eldest I was listening to a lot of Connie Frances. I don't know if you know she's like an old American Italian singer and I also I I didn't realize I just thought it'd be quite funny if Connie Connie Corleone from the Godfather. I've always loved the name Connie. Yeah, it's one of those things. So my my eldest is called Connie. My son is called Winter, which you don't have in Italy. Which we don't when we do in some Do you know what I was always surprised at Italian football how bad the weather was. And there's a snow round the edge. I know, but we're thick English. It was always raining at the San Cero. No, there's a Milano's the worst climate. London is a better climate than Milano because Milano is in the valley on after the Alps. Yeah, right. So it's just fog like stuck stuff gets stuck there. Like that's why they have such bad smog. There's no like breeze or nothing. I didn't like Milan when I went. I went for twenty -four hours. When? It's the best way to experience it. Twenty four hours, second of January. Uh don't like you. With Freddie Flinthoff, Jamie Rednap and Jerry Halley well. I was supposed to be going to that. I was supposed to be doing it but I broke my ankle and he got the gig. That is very good. Talk about acting jobs. Oh, was it the five of us? That is very cool. I was quite pleased because I didn't really know the other three, but Rob musled my way in. So when Rob broke his ankle, I was like, oh my god. Oh anyway, I didn't really like Milan. I used to hate Milano growing up. I grew up quite near it, like forty five minutes from it. But now I go and it's it's a cool city. Like if I was in my early twenties, Milano would be a cool place to go and live. So how are you a Genoa fan? My family's from Genoa? Yeah. And whereabouts is that in relation? Genoa is just so if you're in Milano, it's down to the west it's basically just on the border with France. Uh-huh. In the Mediterranean. Nice. Where Christopher Columbus is from. The flag of St. George. And who's like my English friends. Who's their um rival? Sam Dorian. Sam Dori 's the the game to go to, isn't it? Uh well no, because Sam Doria now is in third division. They're sad. And they're going even further. But they won the do you remember Sam Doria winning the league? I remember team. Did you write Viali and Mancina, yeah. Oh wow . 'Cause I was in this little place called Portofino where I used to we used to go when we were kids in the summer and all the team showed up for dinner Oh wow wow and my father was like, What are you doing? And I was like, I'm gonna go get autographs. He's like, It's some done it. Don't go near that fucking ticket . It was like pops. He was like, Okay, go, go, go, go. Oh, that's it. I got all the autographs somewhere, but yeah, Lombardo, Paliuca, Mancini, Viercov, all those crazy guys. Do you cook Italian for your kids? Yeah. I do. I mean they have a pretty like I wouldn't say they have a pretty Italian lifestyle. But like what I love now, and this is something I've realized as they grow older, when we go to Italy, they're totally at ease. Which is something I really w 'cause I remember when my daughter was about six and my son was three going to Italy and I just saw them like they were like deers and headlight. And you wouldn't like that. No, not that I didn't like it. I was just like, oh, my kids are really English. Yeah. Like it was just an interest I hadn't really thought about it. But then when we went to Italy, just how they're approached, like in Italy, especially where I go, like the all the local people make quite a fuss about kids. Like when you arrive, an old lady will run out of a shop that's known me since I was five and like pick up my kids and like do a whole thing and sleep and kiss them and give them biscuits. Imagine if they did that in the e-cad They're not used to that when they go to Chipping Norton like local. Yeah, it really is. If you was in London, at least you could take them to little Italian restaurants. But they're very like they're country like they're country kids. He's knee deep in three bottles of rose and lamb in the season. And so you cooking a lot then? Yeah, we cook a lot. We have a very like our house is also like the house that's kind of open door policy. Yeah. Um like so we have friends over all the time. Can't imagine anything worse. And no. Okay. The bond is broken. No, no, no. I think it's lovely for you to do that. The thought you'd hate to have an open door policy in your house, wouldn't you Rob? Um no, not when the kids are older. That's the thing. Yeah I think just a general like well, I don't you know like but when the kids are older and they've got their own little unit and network it's I'm a big fan of being open around but not just generic like neighbours going, do you know what? To be fair, we've got really good neighbours and their daughter had a baby and we went around to visit and we just wandered over, have a cup had a couple of beers, wandered back. And me and Lou were saying, We want to do that more with our neighbours. Did you? Well no that was last week. I think that really matters. Like that happened to us in lockdown with our neighbours. We would sort of meet on Fridays across the street. It's nice for the kids too. Like they get a sort of sense that like I don't know especially 'cause I'm away a lot. And my wife goes away a lot too, so there's always sort of one of us kind of holding the four. It's nice that they know that they've got support, they've got sort of stuff a community around. Also, look, my neighbour is in his late fifties, early sixties, and he's got two grown up daughters. I've got two daughters, and he moved into that house the same age, I moved into that house. So I'm literally watching my life in twenty years. That's kind of and it's mad because I'm just I'm seeing these interactions with with these women and their dad and I'm like that's actually gonna be almost almost taking notes of how to survive it. Before you know it. Yeah. That's what's crazy. But it's nice you've got that sort of like How old how old is your daughter? Eight. Almost gone, isn't it? Halfway to GCSEs, mate. So the time it has taken between her being born to now that again she won't want to know ya. I'd say being generous as well. Yeah. We've been getting these voicemails from people trying to make their kids say our names on this show. Yeah. And they're thirteen year olds who don't don't like their parents. I've got a feeling when the kids get older and they're not around as much, a bit like you know with your wife, your midlife crisis mobile, I think you're gonna breed cats. And I think you love your kittens already. I think you're gonna become a bit of a cat man. Yeah, you'd love that. What is it about cats and like you don't like dogs? Dogs dominate for me too much. Dogs dominate. Yeah. Interesting choice of words . It is mad that dominating if there was a dog in this room, that would be dominating the whole way the the comment there is a cat in this room. So That's true, that's a good point. I thought he meant they'd get all over you right bend you over and start fucking umping you. And yeah, and oh so I I once got fucked up the arse by a dog. Well dot dogs. And that's why I'll never go back to Milan. I don't care how European it is, mate, you don't recover from that. If that's what European it's count me out. If that's what European is screaming on all fours, vote Brexit. I'm not having this. Leave means leave from my anus . Taking back control. He's taking back control of his boulder . Anyway. Oh anyway, final question. off. Good episode. Good episode. Great episode. You're on touring albums out, I'll sorry about it. You're on touring the autumn. I'm on touring the autumn. Do the dates. Well you do the final question, Rob. I'm gonna sort up the dates. Okay, right, well , I'll ask you the question, you can have a thing, and then he'll read out the dates. Seamless. Final question. I like the hoodies on your website. They're quite cool. There's one, there's a great t-shirt. I'm not selling my merchandise, don't worry. But there's a really cool t-shirt for do-it for love. I've got a I'm going sushi next week and be matching caps. It's a tote because there's always a fucking tote. There's always a fucking tote to carry the shit in my head. That's the plan . Yeah, I don't know when the tote became a thing. No, but they you can't do merch without it. I guess it is a way of saying buy a bag to carry the stuff you're buying. What's the one thing your wife does as a mother where you go, Oh my god, I'm so lucky that I've had children with this woman, she's incredible. What's the one thing she does as a parent that makes you go, it's a little bit annoying. I don't want to bring it up, but if she was listening, she'd go fair point. I mean I think the mad the magic of her is the feeling of home wherever we go. Like and I of course our house is just incredible and like I see I I see it just with friends and family that come over. It's just a sense of home when you arrive. It's very warm. And I can see it in the confidence of our kids when we're at home. They're just so at ease. But she manages to do that like anywhere. And this is a sort of good and a bad like we can travel twelve hours on a plane, get into a hotel room, and within like an hour, it feels like our home. Like she manages to make it. It's a skill. I'm like, how have you done this? Like the hotel room is cozy now, sort of thanks to her. Yeah, every hotel I've ever gone in, it's like first night of divorce. It's just nothing. I could be in there for days. I never with this. I never put any stamp on it, but Lou can make it. I'm in and I'm out. Like I barely I sort of just about open my suitcase, but when my wife shows up, sometimes against my thing, but it becomes our home. Like it's feeling it. She's just got that it's a vibe thing. Yeah. It's a vibe. And the one slight negative? Uh hectic, I would say. Hectic. Very hectic. I mean her diary looks like a Basquat painting. Like and she's always very much like she always wants to sort of do the agenda of the sort of the week. Like she wants to be very organized. Like the intention is brilliant. But the action's don't really artistic temperament. Artistic temperament. I think it's fine to be disor ganised, but I know people where you're like it's the people that think they're organised that are disorganized. You're like That's okay. You're you're insane. 'Cause I've seen your life. It's chaos. Don't pretend that it's not just 'cause you've got a spreadsheet. And that's what drives me crazy is the delusion of being organised when I mean you just it is like little aeroplane shooting dates and all are you organized? Uh no, I'm disorganised, but I'm aware of it. Yeah. And that do you know what? And that's right, because when I met you this morning in Leon at 9 30 AM and you turn turned up holding a razor and shaving cream. I thought this isn't a man that's in control of his day. Life is in control of him. And he's clinging on Okay. Tour dates. Tour dates, yeah. So there's a lot of them. Kingston? No about Kingston. Jamaica. No, no. No. Kick it over Jamaica. Is that the one where you launched the album? Yeah, Kingston's a record store thing. That's a clever thing, that. Yeah, it is a good thing. Because then everyone comes and they buy an album. Everyone does that one. I don't know why that Kingston one Gorillas did it in last year. It's the record store there that does it. Yeah, they they 're blanking now because it's a banquet banquet banquet. Circuit. Circuit? Not banquet records? Oh maybe. But no, that's the record launch, which is great. Which is great for And then Royal Albert Hall. We did that last week, man. That was insane. May the twenty seventh. We're doing it May twenty seventh, but we did the first one. Oh you done two? Doing two. Amazing. How was it? It was mad dude. And honestly, the kids thing is what threw me. Like I was prepared for it to be an intense emotional night. Like it's taken us twenty years to get there and it was a real like chance to look at the fans in the angle thank 'cause I've never had that song that's gotten us there. Like this is them, like this is fans have gotten us to that sort of stage. And I looked out and I was gonna do my whole thank you to the fans and and the crowd I just looked up and I saw my three little hedgehogs like in the in the balcony there and I was like oh three hedgehogs as well. Let him have he was gonna cry then that was our Stephen Bartlett moment. All the bloody people listening to hedgehogs are bless him. I love Jack's every you fucking sniping. Sorry , some emotional sniper. Who's going to go? Look though he's covering his tears with laughter. We had him on the ropes. You had me on hedgehogs. Did you wave or say anything to the kid? No, it was it was one in particular. My my my five year old was just sat like that classic, like rolled all di like sort of you know, like on the balcony like that and I and I realized she has no idea what Papa does. Like my fourteen year old and my ten eleven year old, they've seen they've been around cool. They know what goes on. They've seen the good, the bad and the ugly. This little one is like, what? Like Papa does that. I don't I really don't think, even though she saw me before the show, I could she just wasn't expecting me to be the guy walking up. Yeah. She just had this like what's going on sort of look. And I could see it from you can see quite clearly at the way. Everyone's quite close, huh? It's quite intimate. And so that really threw me in the whole game plan just went around. Amazing. But it was lovely. So you're doing that again on the twenty seventh of May. Twenty seventh of June doing state fair Chelmsford? Yeah, that's gonna be great. That's where the Lannis Morris set. We're opening up. cancelled all of his things. Bon, Zagreb, Biograd in Serbia, Athena, Belgrade. Belgrade. Bucharest, Budapest, Krakow, Warsaw , Villinius, Berlin, Hamburg, Amsterdam, Utrecht, Latrinon, Paris, Zurich, Milano. You won't come to Wolfwolf. Plymouth Raf Raf P Plylymomouth I told you uth Plymouth Plymouth Snuck in after Zargreb and Milan Milan to Plymouth you've got five days to get your head back together to set your levels a bit lower. What are we doing in Plymouth? The pavilions. The pavilions, yeah. Guild hall in Portsmouth. Plymouth to Portsmouth, two nights in a row. Right and roll up. Plymouth Portsmouth Gate said, fucking hell, it changes when you leave Europe doesn't it two nights in Gates said I told you Manchester Manchester Hull Glasgow Belfast Dublin Sheffield Oxford, Cambridge , Nottingham, Cardiff Arena, Nottingham again, all ending at the Symphony Hall in Birmingham. Lovely . Jack. Thank you so much. It's been amazing. You were brilliant. Can I just go to general? Let's go to channel. Watch the game