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Call one eight hundred five two six seven seven thir six to learn more. or visit Tmpharadio. comot Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun arrmy hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. 'Twas a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it Tonight, we faced An offer you can feast on. seell your car today on Carmana Pick up these manfly Hey parents How do you make smarter choices for your kids college today? That's where Sally can help With Sally, you can find scholarships, funding options, tools, and guidance all in one place And if you need a loan, Sally has options for different families and different situations College is only worth it if you do it right So don't just help your kid go Help them go smarter Sally d. com slash go parents This episode is presented by Monzo Josh, I love the summer holiday aside from being asked for an ice cream every thirty two seconds. Wow, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to get them a free Monzo kids account to help build confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly send money or set up regular pocket money and parents still have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app. Unlike the request for ice creams from the kids, Monzo's award winning kids account, search Monzo For children age six to fifteen parent or Guardian account needed first, UK residence only, T's and Cs apply. Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with H it Can you say Rob Becket Well And can you say Josh, Whittdakome Jhn Weir comeond. There you go, Hick your Cub there Tanneth O Kenneth An Anneth. No one's called Anneth in twenty twenty six. That's my first Tanneth. Imagine my sheer delight when my daughter had hiccups this morning. This is Tanith now seven, a returning intro. She had originally appeared in season two episode thirty one as a two year old That's good. Oh wow, so's your returner? Michael, Michael, do a kind of. Michael doesn't know or care. Drop that in. Drop in, let's just have a little relist of series two episode thirty one. Do you feelit this man has got time to go back through the back catalogue to find? An it. Do You know what, Rob? I can fucking do it, You ready You how you going to find Taniff. Because she's giing me the episode number. That would help yeah. Is tenniff's are girls like yeep Greek mythology from the term Thanaatos, Thanos.? episode What was it? Series two episode? What? It's harder than the looks in it. It was giving it G giving it old big bins. lookook at him D doneone it. hereere we go Oh wa, where the advert is from Even the host don't escape. Now Now Rob, I wouldn't advise this for other people but I'm going to skip the other. it's brought you byer labels Losing your hair? Come on. tell you about No losing your hair. You're not losing your hair. That's not a very good targeted ad. Oh and you are listening to lock downown parent in hell with Can you say Rob Becket And you say Josh Whittico? In There we go. There we go. Deborah gu. Should we just listen to this? No, no, Josh Josh, Josh I didn't need to hear that again. I'm sure that in the context People are going, go Do you remember that one is? No, no, Do you remember the Tony Bll. Can I tell you what people are really thinking? People are thinking is get that kid off of it that we that I don't know. and get into the show. That's what if that's what all these look people don't need tell me don't need to tell you what date Tanmith's episode was out. When do you think the Tony Belly episode went out twenty, twenty around November time May twenty twenty one, may the seventh No, I think those intros are great for the child and the parent and the family to go, oh, we heard your voice. Didt you do it brilliantly? It's a lovely thing that we offer and I really enjoy hearing it. I'd say majority of the audience are like, I don't care just talk Yeah two high some people like it's a bit like the mascots of football. Who gives a fuck except the parents? Exactly, but we still do it because it's really nice for the kids and the parents and it's a little. And crucially it feels time. No, what I don't think what we'd is to go back and listen to the back catalogue of the same kid to sort of compare notes. Why don't you write in and tell us what have been your favourite children's introros we'll just do an episode of. now I second top ten. I reckon. Not one own kids. Yeah, not one personal message. If the rules is, not your own kid, you don't, you can't know the kid You can't know the kid. tellell us. And you can't say the one where you can't say the one where the kid had hiccups. You need to say the name of the kid Um How you, Josh Still in this hotel room I' right I've got stuff to talk to you about. Oh, let me tell you about my running training. Yes, you've been teasing us about your running training. So I went to running trainer, Rob Wried about my technique So I didn't want to cause injury What the fuck fucking he much? Oh, the lady of the night, The lady of the midmorning is a coming He's got your running chiners on, Josh Stephven Bartlet wouldn' wouldn't accept this. Checking out Check it out Th these bastards, he's only been there an hour We've paid for that room. They're trying to get you out already He wanted to know whether they wanted to stay for tonight for tonight Yeah I you' all lined up some of the ladies That's him saying If you want it, I can get it What's your techique, son So so I'll take my jum my jacket off because I'm going back to see him this afternoon. It's been two taking your jumper off To show you my technique. Okaykay. But I can only see his shoulders. Yeah, but that was my main problem. So your legs are fight, your shoulders are the problem. I was running like this. haveave you lost weight There's nothing off you. Nor it's getting massive. You look great. You lookre very lean and fit I was running You've running but youre running like with head like? yeah, okay. Yeah. Shoulders arms ears. Yeah. Shoulders up to my ears, That's what I was running like. Now I'm arms down. Straight that Chin in, Chin in Body forward. so you're leaning forward slightly. Yeah Find your toouse Find your toes You're a bit of a slapper That's what the guy just said on the phone forward shoulders there. They'll be up at six. He guys. I thought that should take day. and have you got quicker Well, it's not about being quicker, it's just about, you know, I think I probably have yeah. look at me silver. No but you less injuries Well this yeah, yeah. Yeah But what if you like to run like that, that's just your style. If it's not impacting speed or injuries, why can't you both because it's is impacting speed for start because our bodies Oh Sf Rob Come on here Why do you think I' getting a stiff neck? Right, okay. I haven't got much neck at all. Right, Josh, I've got other stuff to go through you because I've not really spoke We've been. Oh Rob Let me tell you this. Yeah It's such a busy social weekend because that's how weve now. we live down here I quite like this sort of new smug Josh We had six different social engagements over the weekend. Okay. talkal me for a because does that include like dropping a kid off for a party? Art cllub, we went to Is that a social engagement? Well then we, you know went for coffee with other parents . So that does count. yeep And then the local road had a u had a kind of summer craft fair Yeah And then in the evening. We into this thing called a long table. at the local which was It closed off the local road for the art fair and then it went into the evening where they put out tables And then everyone brings their own food and it's like a kind of See, I might have you down as not wanting to do that Yeah, me too Can't be clear enough about this, Rob We've only got one working room in our house that's not a bedroom. so it's getting a bit cabin fevery. Right, oK, so it's best to be out and about rather than organ So if you had a home working house, would you have gone for art club? Could you have come home You could have come. No, it's a twenty minute drive. Right. So you're park there so you have to have coffee with the parents. You don't It's nice.'s nice., you can' s in your car youre insan . So yeah having coffee. So and then the craftting kids like that, I'm on bo so far. Yeah. Long table If your house was working, you wouldn't have gone Well, I don't know. Rose is really into that kind of stuff now. She loves She loves that we've got a big friendship group now and she wasn't really into and we're in London. She's really embraced the countryside strike Exeter friendriendship parent scene. Okay. How why do you think she's embraced that or is there more things to do down here as a parent rather in London I think And It's easier to see people Yes, you can just liter hop in your car, or she can't drive. what can of the driver? She's she's having a lesson at the moment. She's got a test booked in But there was a long test wait due to I think it's still due to fucking COVID, isn't it? Yeah And also people there was like an underground black market of people Yeah, booking tests and selling access to tests? Yeah. so she had like Once moving down here, she had to wait eight months for a test or something mad I'll askk good. at some point I mean, there's going to be a point when this podcast exists where Rose can drive and you have a bed? Yeah, I know It's wild, isn't it Unless this's pka. It doesn't feel like that, does it But I will have my own bed from about October. So I feel like Rose has been learning to drive since the start of this and you've acpt in a bed since the start of this It feels like that, doesn't it? It'd be a lie to say it doesn't feel like that. I mean, because we have things that come and go you know, you know, building the trampoline and you saying Rose is away. That was a bit of a runner for a. Adrian, you know, he's coming and, you know, but the real constants of this apart from our children. because even now I'm not buer I'm not living a buffer free life anymore. Yeah, exactly you've got a bit more buffer Yeah until it might get a bit less buffery in the autumn. As long as you make sure you got the start the week clear, you'll be right you the end of the weekly So saiding the long tle thing you wouldn't really want to go, but Rose wants to go, then he's likely lovely. We had a great time with some other parents. It was fun. The kids had an incredible time because there was a bge's a budgeons nearby and they all went in and bought these bouncy balls that are on strings that you attouched your arm and then you swing around and it's dangerous. And it's quite a fun novelty to have the road to yourself Yeah, the road was closed down and they were just playing on the road. was they were loving it Then at the end We stayed and we helped pack down And there's the what do you call those? It's like the roof of a marquee but with legs. What's that called roof of a marqu but with legs. What would you call that? Gazebo? Gazebo, yeah, yeah yeah The gazebos big gaz the roof of a marquee but with legs. Yeah. We you got that? No yeah, I hundred I just the way you said it was like a real real I never gonna to find that one. Fuck was on an ITV afternoon quiz show Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Hey next up the roof of a marquee. The legs. Other side but with legs The legs of the gazebo were tied to keep in place with tied to wheelie bins they'd filled with water to weight down the wheelie bins. That's a risk in summer at someone did one of those bins onto the straight. ye ye. kids or went jumped in the water. It was like You know when you see those that footage of New York in the summer when a fire hydrant goes off. Yes, in Harlem and they're all just playing in it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't think you look at Harlem they sort of some I'll send you a video. I'll send you a video They're ching we want Oh so now you've got the bin There really been and they want the ball to be poured on them Oh it's like a proper high street. It's not like I thought this was going gonna be a little coldest Saturday like looksper's a That's a budgeon. There's a budgeon So you just pour it on them And they were trying to get in it. They were just climbing into the bin, Rob It was this was at nine thirty in the evening. Absolute bedlam It feels like why don't you just do this at a park? Why you do it on Tarmac Surely there must be somewhere green nearby. What to have the long table? Yeah well, what's the obsession with the long table It's called the long table. Wh Why whyy not just have a pit Well because you could then sit at a table. Right, Okay, but it's it'sose to everyone's house How long's the table? Oh well there's two tables. I was a bit disappointed by that. I she now come on. There's two parallel tables. Not the long table. This can be twice as long. It needs to be one long table. That's the point of it. Owise just a restaurant, isn't it? A really weird restaurant So it was like eating outside at a restaurant. That's what it was like, but you've brought your own food. And what did you p what did you make? Well we only got inv we only got an invite late in the day. so we just ordered a load of stuff from Waits. How'd you get invited to your own street Right it's not the street I live on Oh it's nearby street And then when we werere at the craft fair there was all this long table talk. so I said, Oh, is there any room going at the long table? So yeah. When it's called the long table, you can't say no Sorry, the long t was full booked I've got a table I put the end of it And what's the other three?h the next day. We did A triathlon that my daughter was m to compete in but then she broke her armsm so she went to support her teammates. fs a child' triathlor? It is fifty meter swim five hundred met No, thousand meter bike Okay five hundred meter run Right. Oh, that's fun I'd like to do that one. That's bit more me tri. Why don't they do that level of triathlon for normal people? Everyone enjoy this And it was there wasn't really even like who's the winning team? They're all going off at different times. so it wasn't a race Much nicer Yeah it's just like if it's too easy, then all the twats don't go. Exact I mean, like if you's a hardcore one that's not how I live my life. That would be good. What have you had to try and impress a new father and or he's made to do something physical That must happen a lot. There's these alpha dads that Do play golf? I bet Lose dad he has a look of someone who might play golf. L' dad is the least alpha in your face person ever O one of them voke. One of the most subtly talented sportsman I've ever met. Wh Whatever he does is really good. He played me at squash when I was twenty five, he was about fifty six. Oh my word, was that Was that a big moment? wasas that? He abbsolutely spanked me in a pair of shoes that looked like they were found on the Titanic. Walk back to the bar at Center Parks An add half a pint of mer And he said He's not good enough for you Bring me Someone who can give me a game, Louise. Well, I think the jury was out of the start but I think I've proved my worth It's been a good return on investment for Lu who. pay for everything for two years U And then we went golf and um He's basically b One thing I would say about my Father Law is he is a very generous man. but when it comes to himself I've never known a man not toan to spend a penny. like keys very much. that'll do what I've got to fine. And he books some cubs. But he's very generous with his family, but for him, he just won't buy anything new He bought with some clubs, I swear for my Argos as like go on Argos and typeing golf The first s pair like the first set you can get, you just bought them I went aroundind had a sort of decent set I think from I got from a bought of a friend that were like second out And he just got like Pa, pa, birdie, p, p He's unbelievable, like straight away just Brilliant golf. sounds like this is sickinging. But yeah, no if you've been Alfred by a potential father in law, please let us know Yeah Oh yeah, and then we did birthday party that my son went to And then we went for then we went for a couple of drinks around the neighbors to meet the neighbourors. You love it, didn't you? You can't get enough. Rose like socialisizing, didn't she? I did say at the end a bit much of Sunday. I said, I enjoyed all of them, but I am spent And then I was really gutted because Canada versus Whoever they played was Sth Africa South Africa. Yeah, it was bad. Good last minute winner. This episode is brought to by Sainsbury's. Sainsbury's customers can save over four hundred and fifty pounds a year with a NeXA app, which sounds like a great deal to me, Rob. You know what my favorite thing in the supermarket is. You know, sometimes I get overwhelmed by the deals because it seems like there's a lot of deals. If you look at the supermarket's deals, right? But there's that thing like if you're buying washing tablets There's a thing on the little label it says like that's the price per like one hundred grams or per tabs. So you can work out which one is the best deal. Yes. know you know what I'm talking about I know exactly what you deal that. That is a good deal. Yeah. Do you know what I used to do, Rob? As a student I used to be obsessed with obviously saving money. I took the smallest room in our house and I negotiated that I would only pay thirty two pounds a week for that room, Rob. And how much was everyone else paying? fifty six. I couldn't have doors on my wardrobe because there wasn't spaceed to open, so I just had the innards of a wardrobe. Just the inns of a wardrobe, yeah It's so easy to help your money go further and make some big savings by using Nectar prrices and your Nectar prices at Sainsbury's. Together they can save you over four hundred fifty pounds a year on your food shop. 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Visit your nearest crox store today So How do you wake up in the morning Alarm. Well, usually when you're sleeping on a mattress toer on a floor, nature takes its course from about five thirty I um This morning I woke up because one of the cats was biting my toe How are the cats? One had a panic attack and you lost Beryl? Has Berl been found? Berl's back, they're f. We're ch f and they're good Well just she must have something had happened. I think shed probably had a fight with another cat or something And she just had a day putullting herself together in a bush We all love those le. when a cat's kind of got the tail between the legs kind of metaphorically and physically. And just hiding and licking it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's f finer. So yees, so that's how I wake up. We have an alarm goes off for all four of us. What time? Qarter to seven. ty seven, rightight That similar as us. Well, Lou sometimes gets earlier. Lou said to me now When I'm not here when you're not here, Rob, what she likes to do is have the blind open a bit. O that we've got a VLux window, right? Yeah. I have to blind down a little bit so that when the sun comes up, natural light comes in and wakes up and I work't work in the other night. Ely, bit early, bit early during summer. So she said to me, Jan, if you do that? I went Yeah, fine, whatever, right A the blind open four thirty AM . What that is but I'm just like I'm just like What the fuck? And it's like proper daylight. Likef course' Sn bathing. yes. I didn't know. This literally the women I didn't biggest day. Has it moved on? Has it moved earlier in recent times? it's mental. F is mental. So l again, it's looking four thirty. I'm like Jesus, that thoughtull s's gone wrong. Look at, loses not there. Loses downstairs And bear in mind that, we've got two hours and fifteen minutes until We normally wake up And so basically three hours and fifteen minutes intontil we need to leave the house. Okaykay. we could watch Titanic Yeah, as Ale when we. Did you Oh went go down stair, sounds What time do you go downstairs four forty five. I've Why did you do that? Why didn't you just go back and? G up early. I'm doing what Lou does She't get up at four hundred and forty five. I think she does And that's why she's fucked every night and tired Becauseuse get She gets up at four forty five when you're notking on m. Oberg, right? Sound like this is insane, and what does she do I went downstairs I went, What is going? I feelel like I' getting up for a flight You know that ear holid holiday Yeah. Yeah. I' like, what do we do now? She went, just it's nice, isn't it? It's quiet. You can just sort of get chilled and get ready like No, she's one of the five o'clock cllub So I'm like, allright, okay, I went That's not judge. let's try and get invol.'t c, All right, then let's make a coffee then This was a few days ago, right It's make of coffee and it During the heat waves, it's like twenty degrees outside at four AM forull five AM And I say, Oh well, I, do you fancy sitting on like we got like lounges? When do you want to sit in garden in the sun? and it's like you could sit it without getting burnnt and it's not too hot. Andould you want to sit on the loungers? with a cup cffee at now or right in here actually She wass just in the front room scrolling on a phone. Oh fact this is not attacking me So I just sat there with a coffee just looking at her scrolling. I'm like what the fuck is this? Anyway I am all day. I've got the fucking knucking. What did you have to do with your day? It weren't a busy day and I weren't working in the evening because they weren't bad. I was here everyone and everywhere. I'd love to meet indian appointments work stuff, life stuff. Iess it's like seven o'clock a comeb back, lose sleep on this overver Obiously because she's just part that. she's done the kids at thenin she's passing out because it's so where are the kids They're just like watching a bit tellelly like ourfour before I go up and, you know do chilling or whatever colouroring in. She's just like like dozing on the sofa Oviously, though, because she's been up since our four Anyway All night try and get the kids into bed and they thenre like they're going, I'm too, I can't sleep like that. And I'm like, I said to one of them, I have to go to bed. It's like half night now and I'm f anyway I am Put the kids to bed, went to bed hal nine, setleep to eight thirty the next day becausecause they're right in school It's eleven hours sleep. Did you have the VLx closed? I had think that was close for eleven hours. Yeah. And then And then the next and then I was like can't this can't go on, but I just couldn't believe I can't believe that's what she's doing. I don't think she's doing it every time It's insane. it kills me mad. just do? Just look at her phone and then the kids got up But we've got I've got serious phone addiction. I'm not I'm leving my phone downstairs Now how's your business phone going ' done it I obviously haven't sow that out ever N. Have you considered the breick, Rob I'm just leaveving my phone downstair. I'm just leave my phone charged away from like six seven in the evening and don't go near it again toill the next day Yes Now. is a big problem I' de late Tiko You've deleted TikTok. Deleted TikTok, so I've got Instagramw which I sort of do need for work. I don't really Yeah But then I should it then like. I uploaded a video the other day that I probably should have upoaded to TikTok as well, but couldn't because I was locked out of it And then the video did really well on Inagram and then I was like, well, I shouldve put on TikTok that I really well on Tikok and Ohh my God, what is this Wh are Ros? You're doing well enough I know, but you know restested on me laurels and I'm like maybe you should do this, you should do that. Anyway So that I' I've got to stop scrolling on my phone. The u the doom scrolling is awful. You know what our agents will do, Rob What's that If you give them your passwords, yeah I've done this when I've deleted social media, you can just send it to someone in the office and say, couldould you just put this on Instagram and TikTok with his caption Yeah I should do that shouldn't I I'm gonna do that. It's much easier. Just do that. Yeah I them out. Yeah know, but I'm a bit more of an organic dude, and' I? I mean I mean I mean I'm in the in the moment poster you can do it as an in the moment . But what I did there, I did it straight on Instagram. I should have done it on my camera Yeah ye save. What was the video me moaning about the World Cup Basically, if I don't think and just say something he does really well If I think about anything it doesn't do well on social media. So How else is parenting been Yeah, so the weekend we had I went for run on Saturday because the kids were in their clubs and then one of them had a party, Lou took one to the party, then I took the other on a little day out with me and her. So had a little day where we went to the shop. basase just walking around the Glades buying ship should trip to the Gades. Yeah, so we did that and it was fun though. It was nice just hanging out and I was like, it was like this, what do you want to do? Can you just float around and like not plan because sometimes our lifeves would be like, this and that, then this and that. I was like, ye okay, we can do that. So we walked around the gage for about an hour a half and then we like got to four o'clock and was like Oh, what should we do? And she was like U bit bored now. I don't know what to do. She she do something and then we' just sat on a bench trying to find something to do with and she was like It's quite good actually to plan stuff isn't it? Becauseuse we what' us to do now Yeah So then we went it was so hot on that Saturday when it was like thirty I think it' still like thirty four degrees or something, where we end up in an arcade and then bowling Yeah I've never been soeat my life sweat dripping off my nose. sweat dripping off my nose doing marioa. And then so we did that, then I took her for dinner. We went to Miller and Carter She li she likes steaks. She have little steaks like a steak house place. They do quite a good kids menu actually, where you can get a fillet steak and two courses for like sixteen quid or something isn't too b And then yeah, but it was like a bit fancicyer. so I said I'll take it to fancy dinner so we went there. Then we had we'd got dirt on ourselves in the arcade. so we went to Mark Suspenseerss and bought a nice top to wear for dinner She wanted to wear nice. So I got aice.'m sure this was your daughter or we just hung out. It was really fun. And then that how was nice and then Sunday there was another party which d my daughter off and then I took the other one. she wanted to go to the shop. She bought that. So we hung out and then we ended up having some noodles. It was very just chilled day of just me basically saying what did they want to do? I think it's nice for them to have a bit of choice And like from being told we're going here, we're going there we're going here, we're going there So ye, did it's really nice we're tryina have less booked in so we just float around do normal stuff where sometimes Becauseuse my life's so hectic, I don't realize how hectic I make weekends because My life is planned within an inch of its life of like international travel, hear there band. and I'm used to doing so much because I've been doing it for fifteen years. that sometimes me and Lou will put together like a weekend schedule that's like quite stressful, rather than just floating about in the local area. We're like got going here, we're going there. So I'm reallyady put my foot down and try to make it ill Yeah I remember this conversation about three or four years ago and about Yeahah, I feel like changing it. It's just how I am None of this changes. We both do it A couple of things know is Clarkson's Fm. So I was watching Clarson's Farm and there's a bit where they're trying to get the dogs to mate. and make puppies and Both the kids were like, what's that the TV? and the two dogs were there. We went, we want to see the make puppies?. 'cause in their heads' bit like We want to see puffies So I'm like, o no anyway. so luckily we got them out the room because I need was like, o, they've seen dogs mount in any way, like whatever. It's not the end of the world if they see it, but probably don't encourage it. I think it's all right. It's dogs Well, that's what I thought. But luckily we said, no, go to bed, go upstairs. and when we did press playay I don't know if you've seen scen on Clarkson's farm The dog misses Parks's f. The dog misses the vagina. so you just see a full erect dog's penis pump in the side of the other dog in fk view of the camera, and you see it jizz all over its back And I was they gone to bed because then you Lu got horny. before you know it Imagine it, what would you do What would you do if you was watching that and then Rose was all over you after seeing that? Obviously, you'd make the most of it, but then afterwards, you'd have questions Surely And she's made you bark Yeah put on the collar. So and also they've been watching dance Mums on my channel for looggin on the TV. Dance Mums. American realality showhow where this Abby Lee Miller runs a dance accademy and all the parents are there, but they always end up arguing. It's sort of almost like entry level to desesperate housewivifees American reality trash TV, but or not really for children, but because it's about children, it's sort of okay and there's not too much wearing. Anyway, I'm logged in on it on my channel four. So there' those of adverts are aimed at me. Like Are you struggling to get an erection No, it's not that per All my life They're watching and the kids like, what's an erection becausecause the advert that come up isugging struggling to get an erect. And you said it' Clarkson's fault on this will tell you That. Butough I'm just saying is if you're signed in on your account, slightly. because you're in that middle period of age group where they're watching a bit older but not too old Make sure they're signed into I don't know their own account, but I' to try and explain what arect. So my kids have got their own account on iPlayer, which obviously doesn't matter because they're not getting it served advert. Yeah. And Netflix which Obviously' not being served adverts on Netflix, but I suppose I would get served invariably loads of shows about murderes I'm not interested in, which is no idea. adverts for murder shows on the channel four thing as well. So it's like Yeahah, then I don't know if if I should double check what age rate it is Thsmams because maybe it's just me been wrong Let them watch it. No, I don't think so. Eleven and older. Yeah, so that yeah, so that's my fault. That's fine, eleven and older Fine, who cares? Adult behaviour. mothers get angry, arguing, profanity, they use words like hell bitch and suck. I didn't tell you about what happenens this C bader You know we did that filming with the big inflatable balls in And you told me about your journey home weet to get the train? Did I tell you about my journey home No. I was massively deydrated all day and we were bitn We was on the cusp of sunstroke all day really, weren't we? So Dinking water all day. So I was drinking water all day, didn't never we. Then Just before I got in the taxi home, I had a pint of lager and a bottle of water and then drunink another bottle of water in the car A and ten minute drive B thirty minutes from home, do you ever get Inurrections No. So if you need a wee if I wake up in the morning, that could be a thing Right, so I don't normally get really No, I don't normally get it in the day. It's normally in the morning, right? So I might really need a week Anyway, I got got a piss erection in the car and I was like, o Not of eirection track going on the isnt it? Yeahah. And then I was like, oh, that's weird. I went that'll probably going a bit 'causeuse sometimes you can get erections in transansort, aren't you? It's not sexual, okay? It's just my body being a body. So what are you doing at this point? justust sitting in the back of the car? I'm sing a car and I've bit of an ereion here, but I've got like my jumper on my lap and I'm on my phone so it's sort of like covered. Yeah right? Yeah. Ten minutes go. We're at my house. Still got full direction Ra Right So I'm like well, what I'm going to do is there's a drive cab driver is there I was just opening the door Shuffle to the side, hold sort of my blight jump onm bag around my midsection and walk to my house slightly l forward, almost like you your running technique. Yeah c driver comes around and opens the do right in the fire line. So I have to get out like some sort of sort of specif what are you wearing on your legs? Very thin shorts. What you saw me in Sports shorts. The worst possible thing you could wear. Yeah h Do you consider I don't want to be too graphic the tuck under the belt scenario. No, because it was a loose fit in waistband where there would be potential with a gust of breeze for my t shirt. You could just see my little helmet. skirted along the like that ye So I just basically I have to just hunch And he just watches me hunch into my house And night And I'm sort of like going, well, I'll just how hurt my back with the balls. Yeahah, of course. Not that I've got a full erection, full of per. I don't know what it is. I don't know if I drunk so much now hear me out. I drunk so much water that my bladder was full. It started to go in the shaft. No, it's not like this It doesn't fill up the a balloon No, it's not like that. Well I just show how going. that's how I'm going to stop it isn't it And I imagine you were so tired, your body was almost in sleep mode Yeah, I was very Yeahah, maybe that's because was that's what it felt like, you know, you can't rid of it in the morning, other wee Yeah, I get an don't don't write that in. donon't write thation when I needed away tovriide hide Why not This is medical. this is medical. there might be someone now with a full erection after drinking too much they're attaxs you going, than God, I'm being seen. Gain erection you neede iss very common. Thank you. Involuntary reflex's not a cause for a concern. Your bladder and the nerves at control erection share the same area of your spinal cord bladder fills up, it presses against these nerves, causing a reflex response. Oh So my bladder I told you my dick was feeling with bitys. Well, no, that's not what it means. It's hit a nerve. Oh'ressing pressed n. I've hit your nerve because I'm right and you're wrong actually. I feel that's the nerve I've hit with my bladder U So REM' sleeping yes. I don't think it's because I was tired because I think you need to be in Rem sleeping to wake up with a with a nocturnal nocturnal erection sounds like he's up to know good, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah. The brain signals, your nervous system trils both arousal and urination and sometimes signals get slightly crossed. Now it's got to be the bladder on the spine, and't it? So did you then Go to the toilet when you got in the house. immmediately, yeah. And how did you I don't want to go too gross? How did you The physics of that I think I've explained before Reverse cow gal I face a system pce under the rim of the sea. So it's touch the room. It'souching the room That's so unhygienic. It thought was awful. Tip some pain with an erection, do you want this? Yep Be this Join this, Michael This is a podcast about life, the highs, the lows, the erections, the flatts becausecause there be people out there bly, you know Jealous about a noteepad and pen at this point Because of the spongy tissue of an erection compresses the urethra They I always think of a urefra Franklin when I hear urera. Yeah, Is there much spongy tissue with an erection? The tube that carries urine, that's urethra. It can make pain take longer or require more pressure if you're struggling try sitting down or leaning forward slightly to change the angle. Yeah ye. Alternative if you can wait a few minutes for the erection to subside Disclaimer I am AI not a doctor. That is some of the least useful tips. Yeah, what would you do? Just point it I I think what I would do Right is I take a position over the toilet bowl Where am I Id kind of Lean on the wall. Yeah. So say o he's getting up I just' to showell she's new running body I'd get as much angle like that as really Yeah. Well it's almost like doing a plank It's almost like plank at the toile. See, why not just sit down and tuck it in because I don't want it to touch the bowl Right, Okay. And that's that and that is I suppose your other option is to go from distance. You can't distance is wild. You can't of how Mary it like Tom Brady. because the problem with how Mary is even if you make it for a shot, you know the pressure so then it will drop. you've gonna have to walk toward ital towards it. That's the skill. Ctail, a cocktail make, you know when they pull the drink right up Okay, well, next time you try that And I'd promise you you were reverse cow game at the time I. you know what? if it wasn't for the fact that I don't think people should be sending in videos of their own erect penis I'd love to see people having a go at that. No I'd love to I'd love a camera setup that you could see the jet of water and the toilet and the land' got no peanut. No but I'm not please don't film it unless do not J Cameron or Christopher Noden or Spielberg listen If they're doing it, I' will watch them they will have to go it Yeah yeah, it's strange to three people that you'd happily watch, but Anyway, yeah, so that was that's something I forgot to tell about that, but I'm all good and luckily I've read that no cause for concern. Oh that's good. Yeahah, yeah, that's. Oh, I can tell there was a bit of a situation that glades with the lift and escalators Come out at the car park Go to the lifts One working lift, one shut lift The only other way down is Eescalator broken C can't go down it But like not broken with nothing on it and people working on it, broken Because my problem with an escalator when it's not working, That isn't a broken escalator That's just a staircase Yeah, you shouldn't be closing off. So Obviously, we were on the first floor car park, there's a second floor car park. So basically every lift that come up because there's one lift, which is full of people And then Someone a renegade, not me, I was close to, someone that was slightly more rebellious than me. just took down the sign saying Temporary shut Ecayer And we go down and my daughter thought was you Hist. That wasn't me? It was another guy This guy wing a basketball shirt, sleeveveless and I was like, Yeah, so that wasif made. So are car got area hes Beck at sixty nine on the back. I can't wear a basketball jersey with hairy arms and not have really musclely I've not got not m myy arms, but I haven't got myusy arms to deal with a vest Yeah, yeah,ah I can wear a vest when I'm running when it's hot Can you Yeah, or playing football and stuff like that. I can't casually live my life and invest in the summer. No I'm going need five people that we know. I want you to tell me whether they could wear a vest or not. O and about I't get out It's an LA. Lakers vest with does LeBron James both the LA Lakers? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.'s LeBron James LA Lakers yellow vest, okay? Yeah. And where they going They're going. to a barbecue They're going to a bub, okay. and yeah, got you. And they know everyone there. It's all their group of friends Michael Sorry, Michael, you can't. He could if he wore a white t shirt underneath, I think. No, no t shirts underneath. No, No, Michael. wouldouldn't One, I don't think he would anyway and I don't think he should. No but I think a vest on holiday is fine if it's just for on the beach or by the pool just to cover up your shoulders when you're too o. So I think that's anyway, who else to barbecue John Richardson Night. They can't, any wouldn't And he shouldn't And he knows And I'll tell him that Romash Now Romesh could get away with it He's got tattoos. Would you laugh though if he don't have to bu in an LA lake as well? I would as a friend go, o, okay Well But I think if he was on holiday in War, I don't think anyone would know, I think he'd get away but he's not He's at a barbecue at your house I think it'd be fine and I think he'd look good. Would I give him basketball jokes all day? Absolutely. Every time we finished a beer, hold the bin. go on make free f? Stuff like that, yeah. Yeah yeah. good solid stuff. good, solid st Yeah, ye. okay Um Okay, and U the other person you're inviting to your barbecue U this is quite an interesting one. Tom Davis. No, I don't He's too tall He'll get questioned you're that tall you can't wear a basketball jersey becauseuse probably has to fend off basketball questions already Yeah I think he's asking for trouble I genuinely don't even think Jo it would work on Joel Domit. No, not Joel Dom. I think he's a little bit too lean for that and too pale. I think a lot of it is about complexion as well. Tiny temper, abbssolutely. Yeah. Jiu jitsu, rit, muscly, looks cool. We'll get to that. I suppose the question is could a white man of any type wear it That's what we're skirting around here And I don't want to make this eracing. if you're white, you can't wear it If you're not white, you know, it it's up for grbs. The final one was gonna to be May You you'd look like one of the dwes in Tamwolf One of the little ones at the back that he's just at the teamworks absolutely smashing it through the room for L let's go, Walfy But yeah, I think I think you, you know, I think it's Tatoo helps muscly ar help smashing it through the rim is quite a horrible.ry try to someone else that could get away with it like muscly, who's that a big muscly? So what about like I think Tommy Fury could get away with it on holiday, But then he's got nice colour to, andn' he He was a gladiator we interviewed My l seeah ed could wear it. e could it Yeah. But then if you'reich can get away of anything Apart from my plananet Hollywood shir Here's your report. Oh, thanks, Jane. I wish I could hire someone just like you. Try LinkedIn Hiring Pro. It's more than a job board. It's like the recruiter you always wished you had. Hiring Pro uses real time insights to match your role to LinkedIn's unique network of professionals and delivers a shortlist of best fit candidates. You'll spend less time sorting applicants and more time talking to the right people. Let's do it. You're irreplaceable, Jane Another you would be great. Hire write the first time. Post your job for free on LinkedIn today at linkedIn dot com slashQality.! It's me, theg We don't need the jingle twice. time Stop it. This is about vacation inflation and how priceline negotiates amazing deals on hotels, flights, and rental cars. Ss like Yeah, but I didn't mention that you can save up to sixty percent off hotels in the priceeline app. Fine. No one deals more deals than Please stopine. If you've ever blasted synth bes from your boom box or burn C Bes for your besties, this one's for you. As people get older, much like their music tastes, their health needs change AG one is the simple Daily health drink designed to deliver over seventy five essential daily nutrients in pre and probiotics to support energy, digestion, and mood So you can make the most out of every decade and dance break Learn more at drinkagy onene. com Right Small business, shout out. Okay. Hi Rob and Josh and Michael. I wanted to send in an SBS to a lovely lady that lives in my town and has been running her business of beautiful handmade items for a number of years. I was spurred on by Josh and Lou's book recommendations on Instagram to give lovely Lisa a shout out. Lisa's company is called The Ferery and she creates beautiful things with free motion embroidery One of the standout items are book bandans. so much better than a bookmark. Oh there you go, ye yeah, good cool Good cool. of Lisa Makess other wonderful things, key rings, badges, decorations, wonderful Christmas ones But the book ban's always my go to for a fab gift for someone Her website is the Ferery F E R N E R Y. co. Uk and Instagram, the Ferery. I can't offer a discount code as others have. she has no idea I've sent this. Just want to shout out to a lovely local company who produces high quality, lovely things that make great gifts. Thanks Jen from Helsham in East Sussex The Fernry what's a book band? Talk to me Well it goes around goes around is better into the book, it is better. Why on eararth do bookmarks still exist when the book bans an option? Exactly Rob They' notit they're not fit for purpose. They're not fit for purpose. Dear Josh, Rob and Michael. Longtime listen, first time contacting the show. I started listening to the podcast during lockdown with a two year old whilst I was pregnant with my second tearing my hair out like everyone else also struggling with the pressure of trying to balance motherhood, a job in PR which I knew deep down I now hated, and was too scared to give up as it was such a huge part of my pre parenthood identity. That's a nice backstory. Right. fast forward five years. I set up my small business, the Surrey Garden Coach I've always been green fingered and started to realize there was a gap in the market for my services when I was spending more and more time answering whatsApps from friends with pictures of sad looking plants desperately seeking advice on how to fix it or what to plant that would just take care of itself This is a business that it does need to exist. I work with clients in a number of ways. Everything from simply teaching them how to prune their roses crafting designs and planting plans that are suited to the amount of time they have to spend to take care of things. There's nothing I love more than seeing people realize that gardening isn't scary. It doesn't have to take up loads of precious time and they can still have a beautiful garden. They just need a little bit of pointing in the right direction, a few tips and tricks Help them on their way Small business shoutout would mean the world to me as I finally have a job I love and Rob always says, if you find a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. D you say that? That's a classic I don't think that's me. I think that's someone else's quote that. That's just a classic isn't it? as little eff as possible for as much money as possible 's. Isn't just hide off H from start to pay them And I really want to pay the mortgage. You can find me at the sururrey gardencooach. co d. u stay sixx relatedable Gobble, Gobble. Do you know why? that's a good idea, Rob because you get either go on. A gardener, you know, you can have your garden done, but then you don't know how to carry it on Or you get a book and you don't or you find yourself walking around the garden center and you don't know what you can and can't plant and where and when. and you know, we have coaching for Other things You know But this is a really great one. So get in touch with the Sorrey Gardencooach. co or.efinitely. And good well, I'm well done for changing what you're doing doing a job be like, 'cause I know like Honestly days much more rewarding doing something you enjoy doing than not. And I say that someone that did a job I hated for good money a job I hated for no money And also someone that's done a job he loves for no money and a job he loves for money. And the The job for no money that I loved was much better than the job I hated that was decent money. not my. It does. But I've done all four options and I can tell you now. and I what I prefer Obviously, the best one is a job you like for money, but Host second A job you like but not as much money as a job you hate for better money. Do you get me? I get yeah. Why are you wing now on your phone? Can I guess what's happened Rose's message back about the holiday Correct I'm a good reader of people and I What' she saying? Yeah This has spaned two episodes now. your Daughter was broken arm. you wasre trying to move the holiday. It wass going to cost too much to move it. It could go to October. You might just go with a thing that you put on your arm to keep it waterproof. What's the verdict from the busos Yeah, Rose said yeah, she's quite pissed off with a resort because we've gotten there every year for years and now they're noters.