General Stubblebein and the Goat Lab

Now if I told you, I could close my eyes accurately describe the interior of a room on the other side of the planet that I'd never seen, set foot in, or been given any information about, you'd probably say that was impossible. I'd say you've been talking to Joe Monsson as what I say you doing Now if I told you I could read your mind panor Levitate, walk through walls Or maybe even make your heart explode in your chest He'd probably either say I was crazy mayaybe wait to hit the punchline of that incredibly shit joke And you'd be right to do so What if I told you For over thirty years, the US government has spent tens of millions of dollars of taxpayer money in order to create. Super soldiers who could do just those things If you say I was crazy for telling you that Well, then you would be wrong. I wouldn't even dream of it becausecause the U.S. government actuallyually has been running numerous multimillion dollar projects trying to create psychic super Soldiers of the future. And this is the shorthand It all began with the retired U.S. Army lieutenant Cternal, Jim Channon Lieutenant, Leutenant I Do we say Leutenant, the Americans say lieutenant And I don't pass We'll call him Jim Jim had served in Vietnam in the sixties, and his time in the jungle had a profound impact on him On his first deployment, Jim and his unit found themselves pinned down by an enemy sniper and to his shock, when Jim gave him the order to fire back, He saw that his men were deliberately missing As a result, his unit suffered heavy casualties Upon his return to the U.S Jim read a study which found that only fifteen to twenty percent of U.S. soldiers in World War two actually shot to kill The rest either fired high or didn't fire at all Jim knew that it wasn't a natural thing to shoot people And he decided the army needed to find a way to defeat their enemies with love In nineteen seventy seven, Jim wrote a letter to the Vice Chief of staff for the Army in the Pentagon and requested that they fund his investigation into new technologies that would help create this loving soldier of the future And amazingly enough, he got the go ahead Jim jumped in his car and set off on a two year long investigation, which led to him visiting one hundred and fifty new age organizations across California, obviously. This is so sevententy. Even the Pentagon are just like, you're right Here's some money. And these organizations he visited included everything from Taikwondo Liberation. Gentle wind ping and the Ailin Institute for the Advancements of Human Potential. yeah. So after Jim's fact finding mission ended in nineteen seventy nine The US Army was at a crisis point following their humiliation in Vietnam The army was filled with uneducated, poorly trained, illiterate soldiers And seven out of ten divisions were found to be unfit for combat. That's not good stuff. No, it's very, very b. seventy percent, evenven I can do that, Mat They couldn't do the fucking math Army But Jim was doing it And he now felt like he had a solution. by using the lessons he'd learned from the human potential movement I would press the armbard button but I'm too far away. and he decided that with all of this information he had gained He was going to create The Soldier of the Future Jim then wrote one hundred and twenty five page manual. on how to do so. and sent it to his superiors in the Pentagon And it was titled First Earth Battalion Operations mananual Jim believed that this was going to change the face of warfare. by creating an army of psychic super soldiers that he called Warry monks Jim's manual detailed how Warrior monks fight their enemies using psychic and spiritual abilities to engage in non lethal forms The uniform of the Warrior mononks would include a pocket for Jinsingg andphetamines for food to improve night vision like carrot sticks, I don't know and acupuncture kits and even dowsing rods. And most importantly akers were needed that would blast enemies with Indigenous music Words of peace Warrior monks deployed in hostile countries would also carry with them baby lamps and disarm enemy soldiers with what Jim called sparkling ice What's happening? Have you seen the film? I have seen the film and I thoroughly enjoy the film, but I am like what Look, I'm not saying like how does somebody like Jim Channon end up saying the things he's saying and believing that things he saying. This is seventies, it's California, Ebody was fucking pepped up to the eyeballs. They've done weirder stuff. I mean, you're right. they did let That scientist fuck that doct Yeah. And you know, MK ultra, the crack epidemic, you know, no. all of it. they've done more stuff. All of it, all of it So let's get back to those baby lambs. And they're sparkling e. Exactly. So what the warrior monks would do was lay their baby lambs at the feet of their enemy and give them a hug I don't know if it's making the lamb hug with its little lamb arms or are they Quite both, I don't know. I don't know. It's not clear. We haven't read the manual And if these lamb cuddles failed to end hostility, then loudspeakers attached to the Warrior mononk's uniform would blast harsh and unpleasant sounds to confuse and disorientate the enemies and probably the lous, let's face. Oh no And then if this failed, the warrior monks would use what Jim called non lethal psychoelectronic weapons which would blast the enemy with positive energy. and only as a final resort W a warrior monk ever use a lethal weapon So the manual reads, firepower is the weakest link in the hierarchy of force stronger than firepower. is the force of will Stronger still is spirit And love is the strongest force of all. This is like some fucking indcellable sh That fucking film I was like, yes, I'm here for it. Let's watch it. And then they're like Maybe it was all just about love. I'm like no, it was meant to be about fucking cool science shit. It is about cool science shit now. I don't think that's the message of Infella. Is it not? That's what I took away from it. I took it same time But I'm like no Anne Hathaway whispery love poems Instellar. comoming back to Jim Channon. He goes on to state in this manual The warrior monks would attain the power to pass through walls bend metal with their minds. stop their own hearts without dying and also see the future. as well as being able to have outer body experiences and read other people's thoughts And Jim presented these ideas group of real life Sure. paid up army leaders Fort Knox in nineteen seventy nine And they was so taken by his speech That Fort Knox asked him to create and command an actual first Earth Battalion The hilarious thing is Jim wasn't nuts He didn't actually believe people could walk through walls or make hearts burst with their minds. The manual was meant to be more of a self help guide and the concepts he'd written about were to help soldiers think about warfare in a new way. So Jim being offered his first battalion said up Military men tend to be very literal minded people An after Jim's manual was published It became the subject of numerous genuine U.S military research projects on psychic warfare Little did Jim know, though This was an area the US military had already been interested in for quite some time On the tenth of march nineteen seventy in Leningrad, Russia Nina Kolaina a former member of the Red Army Tank Regiment ing heart of a frog using just her mind Get it, Nina. Nina Koola Gina the freshly removed frog heart was floating in a solution. which could keep it beating for up to an hour It was hooked up with electrodes, allowing observing scientists to measure the heart's BPM. The Soviet doctors reported that Nina had managed to stop the heart beating within seven minutes. And following this She then attempted to elevate the heart of one of the doctors but stopped when his heart rate reached dangerous levels. This entire experiment was filmed. And footage of it reached the U. S. Department of Defense After two years of research, the CIA published a report stating that the Soviets were investing sixty million rubles a year into psychic projects for espionage and war. So there they go. that happened in nineteen seventy, which explains to you why then they spent the rest of the seventies spending millions of millions of millions of dollars trying to pursue the same exact Tell the US that China or Russia are doing it already and they will do the same. Yeah and they'll fake a moon landing So yes, after they found out about Nina Kolagina, They couldn't stand idly by and do nothing when Soviet soldiers were developing the power to kill US. soldiers with their minds something that they called the Soviet psycho energetic threat. notot only. Were they in the midst of a space race and an arms race with the USSR But now the US had no choice but to close the psychic warfare gap And what followed, likely said, was tens of millions of dollars being poured into thirty years of research into psychic warfare by the CIA and the U. S. military The details of this let's face it pretty hilarious section of CIA history. were all revealed in twenty seventeen when the spy agency declassified twelve million documents. about their psychic endeavourors. Why They only have so much bace for top secret stuff, you know? And there was probably something going on in Congress this that week that they didn't want anyone to think about. So they're like have this stuff about psychics into there.ure sure. Like when they released all that UFO stuff, and they're like, look over there. Yeah So the CIA first set out to assess how serious this threat from Russia was and they handed the task to two parapsychologists experts in psychic phenomena from the Stanford Research Institute And these guys's names were Hal, Put offff and Russell Targ And they started the program dubbed Scanate as in scan by coordinate and research into remote viewing began Remote viewing is the ability to give information about an object, event, person or location that is hidden from physical view and separated by some distance. According to the declassified documents, it seems that the CIA believed that every single person had this ability hidden deep inside their subconscious minds, and it could be unlocked through adequate training In their eyes, remote viewing was going to be their ultimate weapon. notot only was it cheap There was no way it could be defended against Butop and Tg started to test people they believed were gifted individuals and psychics which there were thirty manyany of whom, as it happened, were scientologists as well To be allowed to remain in the program, all trainees were required to demonstrate a sixty five percent psychic accuracy rate. I can hear your eyes in your head from over here I know I was just thinking, a sixty five percent psychic accuracy rate. That's like a D. I gott to get a D. That's what I mean And most of these thirty people apparently surpassed this percentage. consistently I mean, it is below average. I mean, it's a two one. sixty five This is when We have to deal with Israeli spoonbender and Michael Jackson's best friend, Yuri Geller So Gala had become a global celebrity in nineteen seventy three. afterfter his appearance on the BBC show that Dimble be talking He shocked the world by bending spoons, restarting a stopped watch with his mind and replicating a drawing that have been hidden in an envelope And unlike every other TV magician Uurigala Flaamed his fantastic feats but they were displays of genuine psychic powers For eight days in August, nineteen seventy three. The CIA conducted numerous experiments testing Gella's supernatural gifts. These tests involved Gella's ability to see hidden drawings find buried metal. And of course, Ben spoons with his mind. D off and Tg claimed that the test was successful And the CIA concluded that Gella's paranormal perceptual ability was Cvincing. In fact They were impressed enough to say this in nineteen seventy five A large body of reliable experimental evidence points to the inescapable conclusion that extrensory perception does exist as a real phenomenon I mean, if I'd already pissed away probably by this point twenty million dollars on it, I would say the same thing. However. before the invention of methamphetamine in World War twoI Would anyone be able to conceive that someone would be able to stay up for three days and still fight accurately from a plane? Probably not, probablyably not So this apparent success. caught the attention of the U.S. Department of Defense and Ray Hyman A professor of psychology from the University of Oregon Now, Heymann was called in and he personally evaluated Geller's abilities and dupped him a fraud causing the CIA to back out the entire project. But the US. Amy. They weren't deterred quite so easily So the project was moved to the US Army's Fort Mead in Maryland. And it became Operation grilllame continued receiving congressional funding Operation Gleflame. fooccused on remote viewing with one representative of the intntelligence commommittee stating it quote, seemed like a hell of a cheap radar system It doesn't seem that cheap or successful. And so of course, indeed, there were more failures than successes, but there were some successes. The most incredible win for the military psychics was when one of their gifted individuals called Rosemary Smith helped find the exact location of a down Soviet plane in the DRC, Democratic Republic of Congo, which was called Zyir back then Rosemary was given a map, and using her psychic abilities, she pointed at a coordinate and said that that is where she could see an image of the downed plane in her mind The coordinates were then sent to the CIA station Iniia. two days later Soviet plane was found in that exact spot. allowing the CIA to extract the valuable Soviet tech from that plane Aing instance of remote viewing seeming to work involved an Army veteran and remote viewing trainee called Joe McMonagal in september nineteen seventy nine A U.S spy satellite had noticed suspicious activity in a building located a hundred meters from a body of water in Northern Russia and the National Security Council wanted to know what was up Joe was given nothing but the geographical coordinates and asked to describe the site. This is what he said It was a cold location near a body of water with large buildings and smokeestacks. They always say body of water. Always Say then showed Joe an aerial satellite image of the building and asked him to tell them what was happening inside Jo said, The interior is large and noisy with lots of scaffolding and girders probably making a huge submarine, and then he drew out the dimensions on a piece of paper. At this point, the NSC agents lost hope. If Joe was correct then this would mean that the Russians were building the largest submarine ever made But because Joe had tested higher than his fellow psychic spies They asked him tell them when it would be launched to which he replied F months. Imagine the power trip you'd be on And in january nineteen eighty, exactly four months later Spice satellites pictured the world's largest submarine being launched in that exact position information about the goings on in proroject Grill flavor somehow then landed in the hands of Pulitzer Prize winning newspaper columnist Jack Anderson, who's also considered the father of investigative journalism After he wrote up a less than flattering article about the government's psychic endeavors in nineteen eighty four The Army decided to terminate the project's funding. That same year B Jacqu Anderson, you're a small But the S shenanigans didn't end there. donon't worry, Hannah, because the project was just renamed and transferred somewhere el. Thank God By nineteen ninety one, it had become the Stargate program. Guys, that's too good a name. Call it something shit. like fucking operation paperclip. Call it something shit. What about the summarary I mean L A broken clock can be right several times across the course of thirty years of research So the Stargate program is what it was recalled and it was now going to be run out of Fort Mead, Maryland The funding was now being provided by the Defense Intelligence Agency which is reported to have been around twenty million dollars and involved forty personnel and twenty three remote viewers. Possibly the most interesting man involved in Project Stargate was the United States Army Major General Albert Newton Stubblelin III And it's not just because of his fantastic name or that he had a masters in chemical engineering And that during his thirty two year career, he went from Amor officer to the US Army's Chief of intntelligence with sixteen thousand soldiers under his command. was because he was also a huge proponent Stubblebein was majorly influenced by Jim Channon's first Earth battalion field manual. and had been present during Jim's speech at Fort Knox back in seventy nine. He was absolutely determined to create psychic super soldiers And in his words These super soldiers would have the ability to become invisible at will to walk through walls, things that Jim Channon literally never said He was just talking about coates. Lambs, Lambs, Lambs. Wear this coat that's the same colour as the wall. Stouble Bin also required that his battalion commanders learn how to bend spoons just like Uuregella And he himself did on countless occasions attempt to walk through walls, levitate and burst clouds with his mind and when National Treasure John Ronsson interviewed Stubblebein for his book, Men Who Stare at Goats The major genereral described how he had attempted to run through the walls of his office He began by telling himself, I am made of atoms. atoms are made up of mostly space. I am atoms, what are wall's made of? atoms's not incorrect. No It's all facts. and then he would just sprint at the wall and Bust his nose open and then he would do it again and again And again Stabberbein was convinced if U. S. soldiers mastered walking through walls There would no longer be any wars He truly believed it was possible and that he was just not focusing hard enough, which is why he hadn't been able to do it yet But then it occurred to Stopblewine that if anyone in the U.S Army could learn to do it Be someone in the special forces. And in nineteen eighty three, Stubelbein drove to Fort Brack, North Carolina and gathered an audience of spepecial Forces commanders to announce his big idea. He began by telling the highly trained killers that were in front of him that it was possible to learn to heal wounds on the battlefield with their minds When the room fell silent, Stubberbein then pulled out a bunch of bent spoons from his bag and said What if you could do this When the silence didn't end, And his audience began looking at him as though he were a mad man Subble mine double down He then told them that they could learn burst the beating heart of an animal just by staring at I used to make stop motion videos of me and Leve Dryden Bendnding spoons I we're at school. I love that Stobelbein, who was a key leader in the US military invasion of Grenada that same year, was forced into early retirement shortly afterwards in nineteen eighty four Not only was he found guilty of violating security protocol and allowing uncleared civiliian psychics into sensitive areas He also offended the U.S. Army Chief of Staff, General John Adams Wickham Jr. When he offered to perform spoon bending at a formal military gar ' double bine. Wickam was a devout Presbyterian and associated spoon bending with Satanism as if Satan's got nothing better to do than bends and fucking spoons And as we said, Stubblebein then went on to become a key sponsor of Project Stargate att Fort Meadead in nineteen ninety one Four years, the psychics and personnel at Project Stargate. worked on numerous operations, including spying on the Soviet Union bringing down Gaddafi and even finding victims of kidnappings Another guy also spent a considerable amount of time spying on the Loch Ness monster that we concluded was just the ghost of a dinosaur But in nineteen ninety five, it all came to an end when the project was transferred back to the CIA which then commissioned a report done by the American Institutes for Research They report shockingly concluded that remote viewing had not been proven to work by a psychic mechanism and that it should not be used operationally The CIA quickly terminated the project and buried its fifty million dollars thirty year history of psychic espionage embarrassment As for Stubblebein, there was something he was unaware of as he stood in front of that group of spepecial Force commanders at Fort Bragg talking about bursting animal hearts and not was that they actually loved the idea and they were going to try it Such poker face Bragg had a warehouse site filled with around a hundred goats at that particular time, and they called it Go lab. Just in case anyone's looking through these super secret files. they can't possibly mean in a laboratory full of goat. That's what they should have called fucking Operations Star Operation Gat lab Officially, the goats were used to provide brigade combat team trauma training for frontline medical personnel, but, according to Guy Savali, the owner of the Savali Dancer Martial Arts stududio in Ohio That is not what the goats were used for at all And G Savali told John Ronsson that he received a phone call from Colonel Alexander station at Fort Brag in the summer of nineteen eighty three shortly after Stubble Mind's quite embarrassing talk out there Colonel Alexander, as it turned out, was another huge fan of Jim Channon's first Earth Battalion at Field Manual and was running a secret project out of Fort Bragg Project Jeddo. G You I'm fucking here for it. You're not getting it. You want to name it something boring so no one comes sneing off friend So the colonel was interested in Sevelli's knowledge of the martial art Kun Tao which has a mystical element to him. and he wanted him to come and teach this to his soldiers A week later, Svelli found himself at Fort Braack, teaching soldiers to break slabs of concrete with their hands, and also mind tricks on how to make somebody forget what they were about to say mid sentence And he went on to tell Jon Ronsson that on his second day at Fort Braack, he was asked to try and kill a goat by simply staring at it And he agreed to give it a go and it went as follows The goat was kept in a separate room from Sevelli When he knelt on the floor and pictured the Achangel Stt Michael Dabbing the goat with a sword and according to him, after fifteen minutes The goat collapsed, but it didn't die On day three, Svelli had the soldiers herd thirty gohosts together and paint numbers on their backs Then he picked number sixteen And once again, imagine St. Michael stabbing it with a sword. Only this time He said his focus was interrupted by a soldier who shouted, Kill the goat And he accidentally killed Goat numberum seventeen instead of number sixteenark After this, he never attempted goat murder again saying that he'd killed enough goats for one lifetime Today as far as we know None of the CIAs and the US Army psychic warfare projects are in operation any longer Instead, along with Jim Channon's legacy, they remain a unique footnote in U. S. military history. them I think there are goat labs Apllenty is what I think. I do too. I do too But yeah, that's it guys. That is the shorthand. That is the shorthand. I hope it was delicious And so is your lunch. I made it for you., Is it goat? It's a egg