Sharing Cancer Stories and Friendships

Hello, monkey fiddlers. It's me, Richard Herring. Thank you for downloading my podcast. Please keep listening if you can. Uh the big news is uh twentieth of April, Leicester Square Theatre, one of the guests has been announced. It's Natasha Hodgson. Uh one of the geniuses behind and in front of Operation Mince Meat the musical. Sorry, my cat's running around the kitchen making a ringing sound, hope that's not disturbing you. Um once the Operation Mince Meat fans hear about this, it's gonna sell fast, so Get your tickets now, go to Rich Charring.com slash Ralisterper, and you can see all the dates. There's a couple in July as well. I'm doing uh Rick Mail Festival as well, but that is sold out. Um become a badger at go foster strike dot com slash badges if you want to Help us continue to make these bloody things. Anyway, sit back, relax, and enjoy another episode of one of my podcasts, you little fiddly monkey fiddler. Stop ringing those bells. Hello King Stealers, welcome to the Y Theatre! Please well for a man who's maybe had a Hollywood handshake. It's Richard Harry! Thank you very much. Oh hello. Lovely to be back. Thank you for coming along. Hello, Lester. Stolen any good kings recently, have you? Tell you what I'm gonna try and get Andrew to come on a little trip here. See if we can you end up with him go, Oh that's where he's buried, is it? King which is any better, to be honest. Let's face it. Welcome uh to Richard Herring's Leicester Y Theatre podcast. Uh that I was told I was hanging around uh Escape Leicester uh earlier today, which isn't as you'd imagine. Uh A lot of people trying to get out of Leicester and not being able to, it's difficult. It's an escape room of some kind. They call it Rahala Japa. Yeah, we changed it for you. I don't think I'm not sure we we probably have done that before. The problem with this, Lester, is I come here every year. It's about the fifth year I've come here. I've done ever squeeze every little bit of comedy out of Leicester that I can manage. I look at it and go, Oh yeah, no, we did that last time. So uh the only thing I've got new uh I went on the Leicestershire Live website and the big news on the Leicester Live website uh is residents could wait two years for new food waste bin collection. It's the big news, but it's uh Premium news story, you have to pay to find out more about it. That's how that's how I And I wasn't gonna pay to find out. I mean I imagine that's just for the new bins to arrive. If you have to wait two years for them actually to colla collect the food waste. Yeah, look, I've been uh thank you for coming to see me, by the way, the put the audience who are in today, because you did have the option, I presume you just were too late to book, to see Stephen Fry being interviewed in the in the proper theatre. So thank you for coming to see me. Oh if anyone thinks they're seeing Stephen Fry now, you're in the wrong room. It's a chance to escape. Thanks for uh putting me You know, I'm I'm amazed we've got some people in, but he he I think he might have sold out. Um so uh uh look, yeah, the news came out this week uh that uh I um I'm in Bake Off uh stand up for cancer. I think it's against cancer, actually stand up to cancer. I think it is I think it's anti. I'll just still take any TV gig now. It is stand up for cancer. Yeah, you know, cancer has a hard time, doesn't it? It's got a lot of bad press. Let's go it wasn't so bad for me. I've got five years' work out. It's all right. I can't talk about it very much yet. The w they said you're not allowed to say when it's on and they haven't told me when it's on, so that was easy. Uh but uh did I get a Hollywood handshake? That's the big question. I it's not that wouldn't be enough for me. I want a I want a Hollywood hand shandy on him to be so. Believe me, he he ate some of my bodily fluids, even if he doesn't know it. So uh it's You might as well put him in himself. Imagine being so good that poor Hollywood just wanks you off into the food bowl. And they keep it and they just keep it in. I'm n I'm I wasn't that good. I was I was on with uh Jojo Silwa. Everyone yeah, look at a lot of fans and uh You know, mate, no, you know. Marley Mayhay had no idea who these people were. They were very Jojo Sua, I've got on very well with. I thought we'd be friends for life. She hasn't been in touch since um she's very down to it. She's been a a star her whole life as well. Like uh I I felt like one of those people who watch these shows go, I don't know who any of these celebrities are. And you realise it's a bit of a cell phone. Once you those two are two of the most famous people in the world. Uh the my favourite bit which won't be on the show is what you you have to when you record these things. You um you have to do loads of t things where you're walking towards something. So this one you have to do just loads of times just walking towards the tent, having to go, How do you think today's gonna go? I think I'm looking forward to making a cake. Uh that that sort of thing. You have to do it so many times. And uh Molly May Haig had some I think it might have been excrement, but it was something like It was like s chewing gum or something on the bottom of a boot and Jojo said she went, Oh, this is aw and Jojo Sibber just went, I'll get it and just got down on the floor and cleaned shit off the bottom of Uh Molly May. I thought that woman is very down to earth. She's a that is not a starry person, so I like her very much. Uh and uh you know, hopefully we'll be friends. Uh Once it goes out, she'll probably get in touch, that's what I'm guessing. Uh and also back in the bit I'm back in the big time on Bake Off uh and um I'm playing Frank in uh educating Rita. Uh there's two parts at uh this small studio theater in Hitchens Queen Mother Theatre. It's it's a big It's in here, it's very close to my house is the reason I took it. Uh and uh so like I thought I'm back in the big time k on Chort all the comedy website, two new stories are about me, the Bake Off and being in in this educating Rita and I realise both of those Performances I got paid nothing for. So it's I don't think I don't think I'm back in the big time yet. Do you come and see that uh educating me to see if I I might be back in the big time. Anyway, look, we're gonna crack on. Hopefully our guest is out of the loo by now. She is probably best known for playing the coach driver in the completely made up adventures of Dick Turpin, and I've chosen that credit because I wanted to hear if she's got any gossip about why that show Taken up there. Will you please welcome the absolute incredible Fatih El Gori, ladies and gentlemen, Fatih Al Gori. Incredible patch of Gory. I'm gonna let you sit down first, Facha. Sorry, say it again. I'm gonna let you sit down first because I'm I know there's a problem with my chair. I want to see if there's a problem with your chair. So let's go first. Hold on. I did tell him to switch the chair around, we'll see. No, that's all right. That could be a good that's a good panel uh interview show where you just give the other person a ch a a chair that makes them sound like they're farting all the time. Just saying he's lying. Graham Noise. There's nothing wrong with a chair. You're just a farter. I am if I could do that, bloody hell. That's an act. That's the petamin. There was a guy who used to do fart do you ever hear that guy, Le Petterman? He used to he used to fart. And there's Mr. Meethane and more recently who's I I've actually been on a bill with, but Le Petterman was a guy just farted tunes and th Mr. Meh thane dresses up as a superhero and farts and that's his apps. Can fart tunes and stuff. Why can't you do something like that for actually? I do at home all the time. My mum goes crazy. When you you know when you try to fart your bum and it comes out the front? That's a murder in it. You don't know about that. And then it comes out you have to do a burp at the same time so no one hears it. I'm so old now I can I can uh I can fart out my penis, I think because I've had the old herring's eye that could come down. How did you find working on the uh completely made up adventures of Dick Turpin and why did it suddenly end that show? Richard, don't take the piss. Um How did I find it? It was good. Well, you know what, I've got to dress up as a pyro or whatever the hell that thing was. Yeah. And I liked it because I didn't have to wear like makeup. Well, I didn't like it because I was like, What the hell is this? And they put grease on your face and that. And I'm like, if this don't come off at the end of it, I'll swear to God. Everyone's getting killed. But um it was yeah, it was different. And the set I've never been on like um a set like that. You know, like a I don't know, like a fake set. So is it all like some of it was I was living in uh my previous house when they're filming it and they filmed that series at the top of the hill that I walk my dog on and so every day I had to walk past and think why can't I be on the right? Like all those people. You think like someone drops out, I'm just over here down the hill. So you're on it you're on the we're elsewhere or somewhere like that. Yeah, it was the El Street one. It was weird, like you know, like the the scene that we filmed was in a pub, like a tavern, and it just looked like a real tavern, man. It was crazy like they've sort of got to do that, otherwise. You know, the T V show's not gonna work, is it? We didn't bother making anything look like the history in this Well look you're d look, this is just one of the um incredible strings to your bow, Fatia, that you are you're constantly in work now. Thank you Aren't you? This guy's gonna give me the evil eye. I'm gonna lose everything. I'm gonna walk out of it and I'm gonna get email going for how we don't want you for nothing. You do I mean you I you know I'm you can you use the Well the first time I saw you in Taskmaster it was incredible, but I knew you were a stand up, but you've done a lot of acting, you know, you know you can um turn up in all these different shows as well. So you got all these strings to your bow. It's an incredible thing. And it all seems did Jake was was Taskmaster the the big Big moment for you, or was it sort of all happening before Taskmaster as well? It was all happening before Taskmaster, but I feel like Taskmaster's elevated it a bit more. Um because a lot of the people that stop me will say I loved you on Taskmaster and stuff like that. And then some brave people that want to die do say to me, I hated you on Taskmaster. But um So yeah, I would say you elevated it for sure. But I'm a hard worker, man. I don't 'cause I'm working class. The working class ethic is you carry on going until you die. We don't believe in pensions. We just carry on going until we die. So um And I'm glad I've done it that way, working hard, really hard, 'cause I've got substance. Do you know what I mean? I've got the I've got the goods, basically. What I loved about Un Taskmaster was that it was, you know, the I I can see why people might have gone, Oh, because you came in, you were very confident, you were you know, you're you're What I love about you, you've got this exterior that's quite can we say, fierce, would that be fair and quite you know, you're you're you stand up for yourself, which on Taskmaster a lot of people are scared to do, right, at the beginning. Uh but the you're there's a very soft person underneath there, you know. Very kind and loving and nice person. I know I won't talk about it too much. But you know, I think it so it really it really worked because it's like oh well you know I'm not sure this person is and they're you know they're very confident and then throughout the series I think you anyone who watched the whole lot I think would have to love you by the end of it. Oh thank you. How did Greg feel? I mean because I think you were quite in up in Greg's grill. Yes, did he was he was he intimidated in real life by things? Yeah, he was a little bit. You know, um because you've done it before, you know when you When you come on to sit down, you c like because there's an audience there, so they bring you on one by one, and you all sit down, and like Greg and um Alex are there and they shake your hand. And I once one up when I went like this to um Greg to kiss my hand, he gave me the dirtiest look. And I was like, You best kiss my hand. If you ever want to have sex again, you best kiss my hand. Okay. But yeah, no, I think they didn't know how to take me because I do like you said I have these two sides. Um And I have to show the rough side a lot. Otherwise people try to take the piss. So um and that's why they were a bit scared. They were like, Oh, and the people don't know if I'm being serious or not. I'm like, No, I will punch you in the face. I'm not just saying it, like I will do it. I'm from the hood, don't play with me. So um yeah, he didn't know he was But they were very nice. And um and I'd said to Greg when it finished, I was like, Oh, we need to like do a series, let's get married, and he was like, Shut up. And then he was like, from now on, do not message me. Everything should go through my lawyer. I'm like, What? What? But um but it was it was great. Yeah, I think you know, I think you should take you up on it. I think you should marry Greg Davis. Yeah, do you know how much well, you know how massive he is. I know how massive he is, I know how rich he is. His hand is like the size of my face. He is a huge bruv. I've never seen someone so big in my life. Yeah Well I did a big bit in my last talk. It was sort of improvised because it came out of what you get as a prize uh on Taskmaster if there is a champion, a champion is a champion. So you get the you get the head for winning the series and the body for winning uh winning the champion and champion. So I wondered if you would get a Something else and different appendage. And then I spent quite a lot of time fantasising about what I imagined Greg Davis' penis look like. I haven't seen him since. I wonder if it's got back to him that I'm just talking about his penis on stage every night. I'm going to message him. I'm quite obsessed with it. I wouldn't mind it's huge. Not in a gay way, just I'm I'm interested to I reckon it's huge. I reckon it's huge. It definitely is huge. But his head's quite small, in it, it's the rest of him that's like huge. Do you not think his head's quite little and his feet are well big. Yeah, well to me his head's small because it's so far away. So it's hard to tell. These fingers man are like the length of my hands. I've got very dainty tiny hands. But I can slap really good. It doesn't necessarily follow what you're thinking just because I've got a small Anyway, you were fantastic on that. And look, you know, there's there's so much to talk about. I'm sort of interested in um we've already talked about this about what you were doing before you became a stand 'cause you went to a stand up course, right? Yes. But you were you working as a university administrator? Yes. So w how long was that? How long were you working in universities? So I I think I was working in universities for my whole Comedy career. And I think I might have been at that university. I was working at UCL and I was looking after like postgraduate programs and doing the admin for them. And sometimes like the students would come and drop off their dissertations. And now it's all online. You don't need to give a physical copy, but at that time you used to have to. And that I'd be like, Oh so they'd c go to the counter and they'd ask and they'd say the programme and then I would come out and I would take their dissertation, then they're like Oh by the way, I saw you at Top Secret, you were so funny. I'm like excuse me. Where can I see your student come? And stuff like that. Um at the same time, or were you doing that job and that so what made what prompted you to sort of t have a go at comedy and stand up comedy? 'Cause it wasn't necessarily something you were No. So I've been married and divorced twice. 'Cause I love divorce. I love ruining them. Um and then after the second one I was like, um 'cause you know like when you're in a relationship, you give a lot to that relationship and you and some of the stuff that you want to do gets put on the back burner. And um I remember I was on a website, it's called Meet Up, um and it's free. Basically you put in stuff that you're interested in and it brings it up in stuff in your local area. So I was looking for a walking group. 'cause I'm old. And then um I put that in and I was looking at it and then a pop up. Do you remember when we used to get pop ups? I do, yeah. That came up and it's a try stand up comedy and I was like mine never used to say that. Did you did you say try? Measuring penises. MILFs in your area. So yeah, and then and then it said try it, and then I did a course and then I liked it. And the the course doesn't teach you how to be funny. You've either got it or you ain't. And then um it just teaches you like confidence, helps you netw networking, gets you in touch with clubs and all that kind of stuff. And then so I done that and then that was it. Just Straight. And then I was working, I've been doing comedy for about ten years, and for eight of them, I swear to you, this is not an exaggeration. I was doing nine to five Monday to Friday, and I was doing six nights a week of comedy for eight years. I was doing that. And I was not missing not one. Like that's why no one can tell me shit. Because I'm because I've worked so hard. And I don't mean as in like no, I don't mean that in an arrogant way. I just like when you know when people like oh you're just the the tick for tick box or your d diversity for hire or something. I'm like nah nah nah. I've got my stripes, trust me. I've done gigs to a dog. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I know I've I've been on stage, you come on stage and I before I've even got to the mic, they go, Oh get your tits out. And then I and then I don't do comedy, I just spend twenty minutes destroying their mum. Like do you know what I mean? And stuff like that. And that's a hard thing to do, like it takes training and and all that kind of thing. So um I've earned I've earned my strength. It's every time it happens you're going to go, Oh look, you know, like if if this was the case There would be there would be hundreds of Muslim comedians when there are just putting in everyone to tick a box. And how many other how many other people do you know when it's like oh there's a black person on this TV show, you go, How what's the percentage of black people in the country and what's the percentage of black people on the TV? So you're either saying You don't think any Muslim people are are funny, so this is box sticking, or you know, they don't they don't follow the logic through because it's not you know the it if you if you are getting work for being a Muslim, it's just because the there isn't anybody else. Well there's very few other options to do that. So uh but yeah, so it's it's it's it's crazy. But yeah we don't need to worry about those country. Then we can worry about them. I don't have to worry, I'm white. It's gonna be great. We have look, I've I've I've met you recently. We've been working together on a secret project that isn't Bake Off, but uh that uh last November we spent a lot of time with each other um doing a a a an adjacent show that we we have to keep secret, which I think is Ridiculous 'cause I don't think anyone will be that excited to find out that I'm on it. Oh, it's wretched herring on that. But um that was a that was a kind of uh you know, we we're really bonded in this experience, right? And I think it's quite we're quite different people to when you look at us. from uh you know our backgrounds and I'm an atheist and you're a you're pr a pretty strict Muslim, right? And you would I think you wouldn't put us together and go, those two people are gonna get on like a house on fire. But we did get on very well, right? Very well. Yeah. Uh honestly, Richard, 'cause during that filming w you know, I disclosed something to you which we're probably gonna talk about after. Yeah. Um I won't say it until you say it. Okay. Um basically I'm having his child, and I'm joking. Surprise, Katie But um no no seriously no uh you like you just helped me so much, it was really difficult. And uh you were just so kind and so generous, and um and you're so talented as well, and you're just like let's talk about this a bit more Honestly, I'm not just you know me I don't know. I mean it just it's sort of a re For me, I don't you know, you are increasingly doing a lot of these different sorts of shows, the travelogue shows you've been doing and uh you know, and and I don't really get to do these shows very much. So I was quite nervous going into this and it's you know it's all I mean it's a it's a it's a w you know, look you look at that bake off thing where I which I can talk about it's a weird combination of people that you're not expecting to be put together. And on paper, uh the the people that we were all put together, we think those people aren't gonna get you know have much in common. Yeah. But it was a you know, because it was over a month and we kept on going back and doing other episodes. It was a very in it was quite difficult what we were doing and it was very it was very intense. Um you know, and then everyone sort of bonded up to to some extent. But I think you and me probably out of the people haven't met each other anyway before. Yes. Um sort of were the got got closest to each other. But I think yeah we we sort of helped each other through that situation. Do you f how do you f how do you find that element of the job where you're just being thrust into into a group of people that you know you're gonna be very intensely involved with for 'cause it it's the same with acting isn't it? With acting you're there's a group of people you work very close with them and then you'll g go off in different directions. Do you find that kind of easy or do you find that Not not really, 'cause of because uh you know, we spend fifty percent of our time sleeping in life, and then fifty percent like working. Or maybe not absolutely fifty percent, but a lot of time we spend. I'll send my son round to sleep in your house a bit and you'll find it won't be fifty percent anymore. So um it so I find it difficult if you don't get on with who you work with, but sometimes that does happen and then you have to go into a different mindset. Um but I find it hard. I like to work with nice people. Do you know what I mean? And I think like with me and you, although because sometimes you can be close with someone when you're filming something, and then when it's over, that's it. And then if you see them again and filming on something else, then you pick that back up. But I don't feel like that with you. I feel like there is a genuine like friendship and a genuine connection there. Yeah you know? Um and I think if you went that would've lost my mind. Like for real. I would they would have ended up being like, Okay, we're just gonna blur her out of all these things. So yeah, it's important. And then you you have to have all these backups as well. Like I live on my own, I don't have a partner, obviously I have my family. But sometimes it's difficult trying to describe to family like the stresses of this job. It's people that are not in it, they don't understand we work twenty four seven. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And then you've got my friends who do like nine to five. And if I don't respond to their email, uh their me they're not email, hello, are we in the nineties. If I don't respond to their text messages, they get pissed off. They're like, What's wrong with you? I work too. I'm like, No, you don't work like us like We can do a week's work. Your one week's work, we can do that in an hour because it is so intense. And people don't get that. So um I've like I've got a really good manager and agent, so it what so I do I did just to go back to the hotel and sometimes call them and just like cry and stuff like that. I think that's especially when you're doing a job like that where you're where you're not at home. Yes. So it literally is you're just doing the job, going back to the hotel. Maybe having dinner at the hotel with the people you're with, but then just you know and then it's just every day. So it does it does become it was very intense, but it was it was a it was a you know I found what I found interesting about it that we're in everyone who was in that show, I thought they were very confident and outgoing and and look like they knew what they're doing. But there was one night where we all had a chat about various things and everyone sort of showed that they had this vulnerability behind this conference. And it was once you saw that it's quite interesting. But I don't you know it's sort of it's um I think the what's uh what's great about you is that That is you know, you'll do those jobs, but that isn't your main job, right? You're you you've and I think that's why we get on, because we're both comedians essentially. And I think comedians recognize each other in what like dogs do. Whatever they look like. Whatever they might be doing. They re they see each other and know that they're that they're also comedians. Um but yeah, I think you're s you're so you're such a stand up comedian, I think. You are you're off you're off on tour Again quite soon, aren't you, with the new new show and talk Tell us about the new show. So it's basically an introduction of me. Yeah. Um just talking about myself and I've called it Cockney Stacking Doll. Yeah, why would we call it Cockney Snacking Doll? Because I'm a Cockland. Do you know I mean by the Um because I'm from the East End. Yeah, that bit. And the stuck in Doll 'cause like a couple of people in my life have said to me, um like that I look like a Babushka. You know that doll that goes into itself. And I'm like, okay, and I'll take them straight to Spec Savers and go Yeah. So I just thought that and and also there's a double meaning to that, because that that has layers, that little doll in it. There's like loads of and there's loads of layers to me, but I only show them to certain people. Everyone gets the hard outer shell that protects. All the other ones underneath. So some people just see that. Yeah. And it's only the very privileged ones that see the other ones. Yeah. So is that gonna be in the in the show? We're gonna see the 'cause I can't I can't I on stage are you gonna op be vulnerable and open up. Um a little bit, yeah. I hate being vulnerable, man. I'm like, shut up. Do you know, honestly, sometimes I'll be out, like, for example, I just I can't take compliments. Like I'll be out and a guy will come up and go like, Oh, um, what's your you know, like, what's your name? Can I have your number? I'm like, Are you taking a piss? Do you want me to knock you out? What you want money or something? What? And I'm all like this And I go crazy, and that's just the way I am. But I think you know your your persona on stage and in life would not work if the vulnerability wasn't there. If you were just that person, if you were just I'm a very aggressive person who's not gonna take any shit. I mean it's but I see I love that because I don't I you know I suppose as a comedian I I can do it. But in real life I've sort of I'm you know, I w I wouldn't put myself forward like that. So I really respected everyone in that show because they were all that kind of person. But for you it's you know you're you're very confident. But I think you if you didn't see the vulnerability, you go, Well that's just a a very aggressive person. Yeah. So you know you're you've you've always been subtly showing showing that behind It hasn't been intentional. No. Yeah, honestly, it really hasn't. So I'm shocked that people do see it, because it's definitely not intentional. Um I'll try to hide that bit. Yeah, but that's I mean that's it. I was watching your um you did a uh pilot of uh the sitcom short short. It was called uh Donkey. Yes. Um which is online. I absolutely recommend it. It's terrific. It's really it's really I really loved it. I thought it was very stylish, but it was all the characters came across straight away. But again, this is about I mean I imagine quite a little bit based, at least on your own life. The woman who plays your mother in it is phenomenal. And uh and there's an uncle character as well who's uh who's the guy who's in home, isn't he? You really kind of get across your character, but all these other characters as well. Is there anything is that gonna go to a series? I hope so. Still in talks. We hope so. I hope. That's all I can say. It's so good, honestly, do watch if you haven't. I mean again, people who say box ticking, if there was box ticking, that would be that would that would be a series straight away. So the fact that you were that even that which is good and does tick boxes if you want to fucking tick boxes. Oh, we're not sure whether that's gonna happen or not, I think it's crazy. But um Yeah, I think you you know you you're a very good actor. Well thank you. So you know, and this is I mean, you're playing yourself in that, so that's not true. Yeah, exactly. It's easy. I'm just like boom bus doors in. I'm playing it an alcoholic in education reader and a disgruntled alcoholic. It's very hard for me. Can I ask you about that, Richard, actually firstly, congratulations? I think you're gonna be great. I mean you're gonna be really good. Yeah. So how were you finding it line learning and things like that? I've only just started I used to be That used to be the least of my worries. I used to remember lines and everything. My memory was amazing. This is a two person play, and I've started looking at it and I'm thinking oh fuck I'm never All I'm thinking is like you know Rich, you've just been on tour and done a hundred minutes of stuff that you could remember everything about. So hopefully once I've got the whole thing. I'll I'll know it. I think maybe it's easier. I don't know. Is it easy having another person there to say some of the lines or not? Yeah, I think as a prompt. I think the issue we have as comedians is that we're not in control. This is the pro because when you're doing your own show, if you miss a line, you can make it up. You can you know you're able to add lib and but in these kind of situations you're not because these actors rely on your line so they can come in on their line and your line is their prompt and vice versa. So it's a bit difficult. Line learning is so hard for me. I find it so hard. And then I always want to add little bits on the end. I'm always like, Can you pass me the sugar dickhead? Do you know I mean? And they're like uh can you do that again? Do you find that? Do you find sometimes you want to add a bit extra, you know? It's in our blood, in it. And that's supposed to with the comedy thing, and like the this is a very funny play. But with a comedy thing, I you know I can make this a l you know, I can add a couple of words to make this a funnier joke. So we haven't started rehearsing yet, but I a I genuinely almost had a sleepless night thinking I can't do it. I've learned the first page. And it's that's a monologue. And I think so I think uh well I think I it's in there, but when I was starting to learn it, I just would go back and go, Oh God, I can't remember any of And it used to be so easy for me that. So that's that's like where so all the tickets are sold now, so bad luck, everyone. You're gonna come and see me going, um think I'm meant to be educating you or something. Can I have a drink? There's some there's some booze here. What are you going to do? Yeah, no, we'll be all right. No, I'm really looking forward to it I used to do loads of acting. No, but I haven't really acted. I've done a few plays of my own. And used to do loads at university, but I'd love to get back and do some more acting. So it's nice to do. It's a very low I mean it's literally and this is a criticism of Chou to website, um, Catherine O'Hara had had died and they didn't put a fucking thing about that up, and I'm appearing in an amateur production in a studio theatre in a tiny theatre, and that was the main story. And you're gonna go, What the fuck is going on? But yeah, so it's a it's a little thing, but there we go. It's good. Sometimes it's better that way. I mean you've done acting before and stuff anyway, but like the something I think especially the new comics coming up, they want to reach places really quickly. I'm not saying that's me, new or anything. I'm just saying as an example. And sometimes you can get an opportunity and if you're not ready for it, it can fuck you. You know, so sometimes it's good to have Something like this. Um 'cause it's all practice as well at the end of the day. And everyone's got different ways of learning. I use an app, so I'll read the other person's lines in, and then there's gaps for my lines, and then I say them. Yeah. And I have to I have to do I can only do like fifteen minutes, an hour or something, 'cause then I start Is my oven on? Where did did I hoover the front room? Did I flush the toilet and all that kind of madness starts going on. Oh let me just do my tax return. What? Do you know what I mean? Anything but to do those lines. It is, but it's weird because it's a different and with filming something there, which is made most of your acting I think has been on film. You just have to learn that scene for the day and then and then there's another one the next you know, like so but like with the play you have to know it all for the whole time. So there I think it might be easier actually than but I've found that I've found it very quite difficult what I've been doing. I've sort of done improvised stuff recently because You don't have to learn any lines. It's way better. It's way better. Tell them You're not to make it. Let's see what else. Maybe I'll ask you an emergency question. I was g I no, I think you might and I think you might have an answer to this as well. I want to ask you this emergency question. Have you ever seen a ghost? Yes. I thought there might be a yes or yes. I've seen many ghosts, but the first all right. So when I was standing back there before I come out, yeah, and Rob Bloody Autumn, yeah, he opened the door and I just I felt all in my ear, and I went like that. I don't know if you've heard it. I hope you did okay, good. And then I turn around and he's looking at me like a gremlin. I'm like, bruv, you're nearly give me a heart attack, what are you doing? I was gonna run out on stage, and you're in the middle of your um warm-up. But um have I ever seen a go? Yes. Yes. I don't think Rob Orton can't. It'd be pretty good to go, Yes, I just saw a ghost two minutes ago. That would be the best answer that we've ever had. And then he just comes alive when he comes back on here. I have, yeah, in our old house where we always live together, there was a it was not a house, it was a a masonette. And um they um like one time I remember it was my friend slept over and we came down. You know, like when you're teenagers, you don't sleep because your friends over, you just listen to music, watching TV, whatever. And then we came down to get a glass of water, and I was we were coming down the stairs and I was just talking to my friend as we were going down. And she said to me, Be quiet. Um your mum's just walked into the living room, and I was like, What? No, she hasn't. And we looked in the living room and there's no one there, and she started screaming and she goes to me, I saw the her clothes trail in. I was like nah nah nah nah nah So yeah, that was a ghost. Okay. You didn't see it though? That was your friend's. I'll just spill my glass and he's like, No. I've talked about it so much now because of this question, but I saw a ghost of my son and put my my own child came into the room, faced the wall, and I put my hand through him and he disappeared. And he's still alive, but he does say he is part ghosts. Our new house has no ghosts in it. No. How did you stay there, Richard? I want to have been able to stay. I would have been like Bravo Bye. Yeah. Yeah. Never never for your girl. I've never seen my daughter I mean it's sort of weird to see a living person as a ghost, right? That's an odd thing to happen. I'd be s I'd sleep in a bin. Honestly, I wouldn't I'm sharing my house with a ghost. They were all they were fine. I mean they tried to kill us a couple of times, but they were they were good. They were good fun. So look what I'm interested in your tour is you're doing a couple of clean ver clean versions of the show. Yes. So explain why that is and how that works. And you're quite you know, you you do talk about all subjects, right? Yeah. Very openly and on the other. You're talking about my pussy and I'm joking. No, sorry, that w I know you're not that kind of crowd guy, so Do you know I did a radio four show. I know this ain't radio four, but like And I just kept there were c it was about Christmas, it was Julian Clary's show and it was like um why he doesn't like Christmas and what you don't like about Christmas. And then uh Julian was like, Oh I hate Christmas, Fatia, what do you think we could do to make it better? And I kept on going, Sharia Lore Oh my god do you know how many DMs I got? Oh my god. People were like, listen, listen, no. And and people were going to me, look, you were really funny, but that wasn't your crowd. I was like, I know. That's why I kept on saying it. And honestly, anything that you I'll just go you go, um Fatia, what's your favorite Christmas dessert? Charia La Well not him but the crowd in it. But um Are these radio four people. All the Radio Four people are at Stephen Fry though I think we're safe. These people will uh can take some swear words. Oh, okay. But yeah, as you were saying, my material is like I do 'cause I I am almost obviously I am a mos surprise. Um so um like I'm a 3D person, I'm not like you know, and I'm not fake. I can't show you I can't just be like But I am a Muslim, a practicing Muslim, but like I do have a personality and I do have these other things. I am British, this is my home, you know. Um so I'm gonna show you all of me, not just one side, you know. Um 'cause I think a lot of sorry, my nose is running a bit, I'm so sorry. I would um wipe it on my hijab but I have to wear it tomorrow. Um Um so you ha I you know, m I think what makes comedy successful is the relatability and people need to be able to relate to you. And also like my comedy, although I don't because there's not a lot of people that do it that look like me. So for a lot of it, I'm I'm I need to connect with the audience. Because I'm doing a lot of work, if you know what I mean. Some of the people in the audience have never seen a Muslim woman, ever spoken to one, ever had one as a friend. I doubt that here, because we're in Leicester. But um but you know, but for real, there are people that have never you never had any Muslim friends maybe, never had any in school or whatever, depending on where you grew up and stuff like that. So I might be the first interaction that you're having with someone like me. So for me it's important to connect with you, to open your mind, to to show you who I am. Like I just want people to be like, oh that comedian, not not all that, you know, that I just that that's fatia, not for this to come into it. Do you know what it's definitely important now with you know that dickhead like Farage and that and you know Tommy Nobolicks, do you know what I mean? But yeah, but look, it's it's a it's a weird position for you. We'll get back to the clean show, but it's a weird position for you because you know you you don't you know there's no reason I don't represent anyone, I do my comedy about myself and that's it. And there's no reason why you should be representing anyone. But you but you understand that you sort of are. But I think by being yourself and showing Because people will the people who have an idea of what a Muslim is like without having met any Muslims will not be thinking of someone like you. They won't be thinking so if they then see you You know, I mean then they're gonna go, Oh, okay, the the idea I have in my mind is not what what what I'm seeing here from this person. Which I think is comedy has this incredible ability to do that. You go and spend an hour in the company of someone who you think well I would think I'm not going to get much out of seeing someone who believes in God at all, you know? And then I but then I would go and see you go, okay, no, I've got to rethink that. So you know the that's where it's n where comedy has this power to to You know, open people's minds as well. But that you can only do it. You can only represent yourself and therefore hopefully that represents the the br broader picture. But you know, Absolutely a horrible thing to be to for that to be on you, I guess. But also it's an important thing that you want to address as well. Yeah, definitely. I wanna represent, but I wanna represent in my way. Do you know so sometimes I get shit from Muslim the Muslim Muslim community 'cause they're like, Oh, you're not um you're not a proper Muslim woman because you're swearing. And I'm like, I'm so fucking sorry. You know, and stuff like that. Or you don't represent us. I'm like, I never said I represented you. And like I'm one time I remember this guy was like, You're not a proper Muslim, da da da and I thought this keeps us taking the piss. So I've replied to his message. It was on one of my posts. And I said to him, Listen, I've got money. I don't, by the way. I live I still I live in the hood. Okay. And um I said to him, Listen, I've got money, I'll get a private detective and I'll pick every single part of your life apart and then we see who's Muslim and who's not. And he deleted his comment. I was like, Don't fucking play with me. I think that is a way to react to everything that there's so many judgmental people on social media. Yes. And you kinda think have you never done anything wrong? Because it seems to me you'd only be that judgmental if you're deflecting to me. Most people go, like, yeah, of course I've done loads of fucking stupid wrong things in my life. You know, but most people go, Oh yeah, you've never So yeah, I love I love that it works. You can almost guarantee it if it's a man can say Yeah, it's always men. It's always and then I it's always men or people that have reverted to Islam that want to start to sh chat shit to me. And I just say to them, listen, what you know, just back up because like I'm not the one, trust me. I will punch you and then go and pray. But I don't care. But I've been banned from the mosque three times, bro. You think I'm for fighting. Like you think like Even for the So you're doing a clean show for your m for your Muslim audience, basically. Yeah, exactly. There are a lot of people like that that don't like swearing. So I'm trying to do I'm not I'm trying to do I'm gonna do in my tour there'll be shows that I like Clean it's it'll usually be the matinee ones. Yeah. And then the other ones, if you want a sweary marry 'em, then come to the evening ones. But check if you check on it will tell you which what is what. But it's important for me. If you come to my shows, honestly, like in the audience you'll see like there'll be a row of gays, there'll be a row of hijabis, there'll be a row of Boys from the hood that every joke I do, they go br or like this. I'm like, Will you stop following me? Go back to the estate. Um there'll be like older people, they'll be like a real mixture of of um of people. And that's what I want. Do you know what I mean? I want everyone to come together. I'm not 'cause it like people see me on stage as well. If you you you know you're listening to my jokes, my experiences, then you're like, Oh my God, I've had those experiences. We're not that different. Do you know what I mean? 'Cause that is what divides us. that people think we're different. Some aspects of our life are different, but not all of them. Um but we've got more in common than we have not in common. So yeah, that's so refined. I mean it's so important 'cause I think I think you know the w reason these ideas about any of this an anything that's different that perpetuates because people dehumanise the whoever they're you know deciding is the wrong thing at this moment. And you know the minute you meet someone and I think that's what comedy The minute you see someone do comedy, they you see their humanity. Nearly always. Not Ricky Jevais. Ironically But mostly there are obviously comedians like that who are shocking and you know But I think you know it it is a but you know, people come up and y there is a facade as there is in real life, but you I think again you can't hide the real you beneath it as well. You know I don't think you can't. And I don't want to do you know what I mean? I just want to be who I am. And people can take it or leave it. Do you think you can do so if I had to go and do an hour of clean material, I would have it absolutely fucked. I can't even can't even say the sentence without saying something we're not the same. I'd drop the C bomb every five seconds. Honestly, I I went and got a coffee. I was like, Yeah, two sugars can't But do you know I mean? He was like what come on you silly c can't help it. Um I'm the same. It's just the way it's just the way we are, but um I I can do a clean I've done clean shows before. I must still do like Muslim shows. Um Where it's like a hundred percent halal but the audience can be any kind of any audience. Yeah. Anyone can come. So I've done this, so I'm used to it. Like I know how to make it clean. Yeah. But it's not gonna be the material is not gonna be Muslim centric or anything like that. It's just gonna be clean show. That's all no swearing. So like there's a joke that I do where I go, um Um when I say about my husband and I say like um he used to compare all everything I did to his mum's, you know, like the way I cleaned the dishes, the way I made the bed, the way I uh ironed the clothes, and I had enough. So one day after sex, I said to him, Was that like your mum's? You know. So what I'll do rather than say after sex, I'll go with something like he kissed my forehead when he came in. And I said, Oh, was that like your mum's? Do you know what I mean? And I know they're not laughing because they're pricks. But it does work. It does work. Well good luck. I genuinely I would 'cause sometimes we'll go, oh come and do like an afternoon thing with kids and stuff and go I can absolutely cannot. I don't think I don't think I've got anything. Yeah, no, I can't so mine mine like I like it will be like twelve twelve years plus. It has to be like parental guidance. It's not a family show or kids showing it. But it will just be clean. Cool. That's all. Cool, cool, cool. But it is hard. I'm the same as you. When they ask me to do kids stuff, I'm like no. Yeah. Yeah, it's just no. Cool. So people can find out about your tour. Have you got a website or just a sort of thing? I do. Yeah. So we'll sort of check out the website. And it's selling very well. You've had a taskmaster bounce, which I got I got a taskmaster dip after my numbers start going down. So people saw you. I think most of you did love you on Taskmaster, regardless of the people who told the I feel like they did me dirty on the first episode. They put all my bits of me just being a money bitch. And then everyone was like, ooh, I do not like her. And I'm like, News Flash, I don't like you, Ema. I think it's just people I mean it's a British thing, maybe, that you expect people oh you know, when you're new, if you're the new person you've got to show respect and you've got to be a wall flat Fuck. Absolutely it's who you are. And also that's there's no absolutely no reason. And the and you know there's a an element of sexism and everything in it as well. So it's it's you know it's you you were absolute yourself and it absolutely worked and it was I had people DMing me going me going to me, Why did you not jump? You know that task where one had to clap, one had to jump, one had to sit down. I was like I weigh about twenty thousand stone. What do you mean, why did I not jump? Are you stupid, bruv. So yeah, they didn't like that. Joe Brand went on and just didn't do any of the stuff, you know, because she d she was above it, which is correct. I wasn't above it. I was just physically unable to be able to do some people go on a puppy ish and try to please Greg and win. And don't care about whether people like them or not. And some people you know just go fuck it, this is stupid. Because it is stupid and that's why the but that's why it works. They get at a brilliant Group of people together who they know will work, which is you know, is the that's the genius of these things when you cast any of these things. And I guess the thing we did together, whoever put that together, it was quite a clever group of people. I think they were slightly they were it was quite last minute, wasn't it, which is the reason I got in. No, it was quite a commitment, so I think they just got whoever they could get. But I think it was lucky. No, you've got a on your on the circuit, you've got a reputation. No, then I have got away with it. Oh well, sorry, Garland. No, you've got a reputation for being really nice. So when I saw that you were on, I was like, okay, uh that Richard's fine and Lucy, who I know a little bit. Oh no shit, we're not supposed to be a we can cut it out. We've been paid though, innit? We've been paid the content. I mean I I absolutely I d I cannot think anyone will give less of a fuck about who's in it. But yeah. Yeah, no, they will, they will. They fucking battle. The people who like that show will have no fucking clue about it. And will not care. It it it was one of those things you go through it and because it was hard and because it was we were doing something we'd never done before. And to to uh to achieved it was good. And like as you say, we'll talk about this if you want to talk about it, but we I think we sort of bonded a little bit because I reck you I knew you would at you'd had an operation of some kind, and I could so I was sympathetic to that having been through stuff. Yes. And it was sort of weird because no one was really no one in no one was really kind of treating it like with kid gloves as a result of you clear having just been through something. And so but no, during this the course of this we sort of did you know, bond over that a little bit having having both been through something a bit similar. Yes. Yeah. Which it which you know we don't have to talk about, but we can talk about it. I feel like free now. I feel like you had a massive part in that journey 'cause I felt Shall I tell them what it is first? Okay. So um in last year in May. When did we film it? November. So close this is so close. So close. So last year in May I had to have a hysterectomy. So I had my womb and my ovaries were removed because I had endometrial cancer. And I didn't like and there was Uh it it was tough, man. Like I couldn't like lift anything, I couldn't go upstairs. Um I couldn't like poo in and we in. Sorry, I have to bring it back to um the floor. I couldn't do any of that stuff. It was really hard. And then on top of that, like you go straight into so I thought in May and you go straight into menopause straight away. Like I woke up when I was in menopause. And then uh like in May, they said to me, Oh, we're gonna refer you to um Menopause Clinic and I was like, Okay. And then I didn't get seen until December last year. So all that time, like you're on your own, you've got nothing. You're going, Well I was suicidal and like depressed and everything. It was really tough. Um and I felt ashamed. I don't know why. I don't know why I felt ashamed. I didn't want to share it. I felt like it was a weakness. I just wanted to keep it like a secret. I only let made sure like only that like the um only people that needed to know knew. And then I didn't even tell them I had cancer. I just said I've had an operation and I can't do this, this, and this and this is what I need and stuff like that. And then um I remember like saying it to you 'cause it was like we had to pick stuff up the thing that we'd I was just about to say when it was shit shit. I was just about to say and it was heavy stuff and like Richard would always pick my stuff up as w when we started 'cause I'd asked him. But and then I ended up saying one day we was in the car 'cause we used to come up together on the train and we was in 'cause we were the both closest Well, I'm London and you're Do they know where you live? No, do you know what I was I was doing toss support for um Phil Wang and I just said the area that he lives in, the man nearly had a fucking heart attack. It's going to be fed you've doxed me, you've doxed me. I'm like, What are you talking about? Do you live do you live in the hole of Hitchin? Are you mad? Bloody how and he's like don't say that again. I was like, bruv, I'm fucking putting on social media. It's gonna be that's gonna be the name of my poster, your address. Anyway, one digress Honestly, one digresses. And um so yeah, one day we were in the car, because they used to pick us up at the station and take us to the hotel, and it was me, Richard, and the guy that was looking after us. And then I just said to because they were helping me with my luggage and I said, Thank you, I can't lift stuff up because I've had an operation and I've had cancer. And then Richard was like, Oh, I've had cancer too. And then that was just such a relief for me, somebody that you just understood straight away because you yourself had had surgery, so you know how difficult What is that? Someone dropped their glasses. It sounded like glasses. It sounded like glasses. It did, innit? They were so surprised to find out I'd had cancer because I don't really talk about it. The glasses literally just flew off their face in surprise. And you were just such a like relief. You were so understanding and you weren't but you were understanding not just because you had it yourself, but you're just a caring person. And you gave me space, you listened to me, you let me vent, you let me say the stuff that I wanted to say, and and you protected me a lot, like Making sure I was okay, do you need this, do you need that? You know, even making like uh when we used to go down to dinner, I used to always be like, I'm gonna go down this time, uh do you wanna come? You were you were so kind to me. um during that whole process. And I and I don't think and I felt a relief 'cause it was really weighing me down. 'Cause you worry about these things. I'm I'm sure you felt the same. You I need to share it and I'm gonna do a post about it, and obviously 'cause it's gonna come out in things that we've done. and stuff. Um but you feel you worry 'cause I'm like, Oh, what if people think I'm just saying it so I've got more stuff to talk about or 'cause I so I can make a show and I'm like, No, it's not I have to talk about 'cause if I don't talk about it, some paper's gonna pick it up and go, Fatty has had cancer and I'm not gonna keep I'm gonna share it with people the way that I want. Yeah. So it's tough. It's something you need to say but it's but it's being you know it's finding the time that you want to talk about it. 'Cause it's absolutely fine. Yes. And which is fine, and some people do that and it's fine for them. But equally it's finding the right moment to talk about it and find the right time to talk about it. Which as a comedian I think you are hopefully more in con you know you can be in control of that and and get it all out all in one go. Yes. And me and Katie had a big discussion about exactly that about whether I should talk about it and whether it's and uh you know you have to You have to think about it, but I think it is helpful if you want to talk about it, because I think people you know, I've what the m the amazing thing about doing that show and the book and everything I've done that that's come out of out of my own one is the is the stories you get back from other people. And the fact that every now and again someone goes, Oh, you know, I was I didn't realise until I read your book that that I was had the same thing or I read your book and then I realised the same thing was happening to me. And that's pretty amazing that Like f s seven or eight people have been to the doctor and you know had their test got cut off 'cause of me. But I think it is you know it is it is it's you know that that's why with the bake off thing, I've I you know I felt sort of so many people would love to do bake off and I really don't give a fuck. And I'm not if if Paul Hollywood offers to shake my hand, I'm gonna turn them off. Not interesting. And he didn't. But uh but you know I thought well at least this is about can you know I can talk about the cancer bit, so it's worth me being on it. So you know it that those things are you know that that That was the the fact that you can uh do some help for other people, I think, is is good. But it but it ultimately also helped I think for you as well, it helps you to get it out. And we had this sort of an emotional evening where everyone sort of talked about their various issues on that thing. And it was you know it was very bonding, I think, for that group of people to to realise. And especially with someone like you, you seem so confident, you seem so sort it out. But to say that vulnerability was you know was you know I think that's the reason we are you know we we have become very good friends as a result of all this, which is which is a nice thing to happen. And I don't know, I don't really get new friends. I'm I don't even see my old ones really anymore. So it's quite nice to get a new friend and it's quite nice. No, definitely grateful. I'm so grateful to you, honestly, like I think we all but we helped each other because it was such a it was such a I mean it sounds like oh we did this thing and it was so difficult and it was and it wasn't but it was you know I think There there's all these things, the emotional support is so important and the psychological aspect of all these things, of doing a difficult job, of going through a difficult thing in your life, the psychological bit is the bit that's the hardest to cope with, because they'll look after everything else for you. And I think if you've just you know, if you're able to talk a little bit about it and with someone who understands, I think that's That's a lot of the battle to get through. But there we go. I am amazing, let's cut all of this bit out. But my reputation will be ruined. But cool, look we're near we nearly have to wrap it up anyway, so um I've I might ask I'm gonna ask. I'm going to try and write a load of new emergency questions. I'm going to ask you one of my new emergency questions, which is Who is the biggest celebrity who has come to see you do stand up? Have you have you So um not that I okay, so once I was doing a mixed bill 'cause I've never done I've only do like I've only done work in progress is not a um at all date yet. And I remember do you know the Phoenix theatre? In London? No. You don't know. It's opposite like GAY on Tottenham Court Road. Or where GAY used to be. It's a little theatre and it's very intimate and like it's really nice. And they do a lot of like drag shows there and cabaret and uh I think it's a bit of a gay theatre. I think I haven't been aware. That's why I said No no not don't go there every week. Don't tell my wife. So like you've got the stage the stage say like the stage is here and then there's a curtain and we're just sitting behind the curtain, that's the green room. So sometimes you'll be in there running your lines and there'll be a drag queen like putting on their wig. I'm like what is going on here? I don't mind, it's just there's no space. Their hair's very big, you know. Anyway, and then um so so we were doing the gig and it was a lesbian night, and then this by the way, I'm straight. Um just for the geezers that are wondering. Okay. For the ladies, I'm sorry. So during the night, and then someone come to the back and said Claire Baldins in the audience. And I screamed like a bitch. I went, What, what this she was like, shut the fuck up. She's like right over there. And I couldn't, I was like, um, and I was screaming, and I was like, I was like, Oh my God, does my hair look okay? And they're like, We don't know. And I was like I was panicking. I swear to God And then I was like, Where is she? Where is she? And they're like she's sitting to the right. I did my whole set like this to the people I swear. I was oh my God, that was crazy. So yeah, Claire Bob but she went there to see me. One of the women one of the women on the night is her friend. And then and then that that woman that woman who's her friend asked me to do one of her gay nights in sh in West London. It was so fucking far, but I'd done it. And then I met Claire's wife and I'm like, Oh my God, please. Please tell Claire that I love. You're not taking a fucking piss. Okay, glasses and then phones. What the fuck is going on here? Do you want me to beat them off? But yeah, that was and then after like I w he d I did a uh radio show with Mark Strong. You know Mark Strong actor? Oh my fucking God he's fit in it, right? I swear to go and I was like, Mark You don't understand. I love you. I love you, Mark. I've met the rock, but you're so much better, Mark. And he uh was called security. No, but he but that's the only kind of yeah. Yeah. It shows how much things have changed. I I was doing comedy in the like late eighties, early nineties. And uh some you know sometimes you'll be sharing dressing marines with strippers who were doing a strip stripping and that's where that's how it was in the old days and now it's just sharing with drag axe which is is much better. Yeah but it used to be. No, but uh and then it they always help if you need help with your makeup, they're like come here, honey. I'm like, Yes, girl And I just love that shit. I love drug race. Do you watch drug race? I don't watch drug race. Oh my God, it's obsessive. Does everyone love does anyone love drug race?