Current Reading and Future Projects

Hey rat fans, thanks for downloading my podcast. Um not quite sure what's happening in June, thanks to a medical procedure I have to go through. We've had to uh cancel those Leicester Square Theatre gigs on the first and eighth of july, but hopefully we'll be back for everything else. Uh everything happening the first week of June is fine, including uh the we're doing two shows now at the Roman Theatre in St. Albans. The six PM show is sold out. There's now an additional show at eight thirty PM It's me and Katie Wilkins, a very promising stand-up comedian doing two sets in a Roman theatre with some old jokes for Romans and some new jokes that I've never done before. Richard ing.com slash gigs for links to that would love to see you there. I'm not sure how many stand-up gigs I'll be doing in the next few months, so come along to that one if you can. And of course Rahalastapa is at the Edinburgh Fring e for the first 12 days. Richard ring.com slash Rahalastapa . We're doing 14 shows in 12 days. So there's every chance you can come and see us. Would love for you to support us with that one if you can. Hopefully we'll see us through to the new year and then who knows what's going to happen to Rohelastabar after that. Not me . Not me, I don't know. Okay, RichardHarring.com slash gigs Richard Herring.com slash for Hallistapur if you want to add a little bit of financial support to keep the podcast going go faster stripe dot com slash badges and you get loads of lovely rewards. Thanks for listening. Do tell your friends and so on we love you goodbye Hello my finest friends welcome to another Rahalastaba book club we may go beyond books in this one because it's very difficult to get this man into a studio. Uh he's quite busy. It's uh I've I've been reading Alex Horne's The Last Pebble. Yes. 'Cause it could be the Lost Pebble as well. I just suddenly had a name. I just had a sudden feeling that it was a big th Yeah no my uh l orry to jump in straight my youngest it was going to be called the Lost Pebble and then we had a voting session in the family and that won that won out. I think the last pebble is better is just better. That's what we thought as well. That's why we went But only drink it. You could always r chur I don't know, can you change the name of it? Oh that'd be so angry with me. Rich Richard says should be the lost pebble. Um I read the the unusually uh I read this book six months ago on holiday. Yes, I know you did. Yes, and my daughter has read it all, but um I'll tell you this this piece of c feedback from an audience she was she got very worried that the grandfather would die in which it does feel like he's going to . And she was very sensitive to that. Well I know we've already talked before we start recording about how much we can or not give away in a in a story. So I don't but I Should we not talk about it? Okay. But your daughter doesn't need to worry. Yeah, I I actually wanted him to die. Right. And the publisher said it's it's a children's book. You probably shouldn't die. But I think even the threat of it is it's interesting with kids. It's sort of like she was really enjoying it and then she got really scared. Really? Well I'm sorry about that. No, it's okay, but then I think that's good. I think it's I think that's it's a it's a good thing to churn up feelings. She did I then said it was okay to . Um anyway, yes, so it's uh look, I mean uh my main question is how the hell did you get time to write this in the first place, because you have quite a busy man. Well I am quite busy, but I do think everyone's busy. Yeah. Um but it took ages. But you've written lots of books. Yes. This is my first fiction and I found it really difficult. I d did not I enjoyed the first draft. So the whole story is I was on a walk on a beach with my wife in Bogna, which is near where my parents live, and they had my kids. And we got started we started talking about where these stones came from. Yes. And I I said, Oh, wouldn't it be a funny story to have a stone telling the story of his journey to Bogner. Um my wife said, Oh you should write that and instantly regretted it 'cause you know when you have an idea you have to kind of follow follow it through. So I wrote a draft pretty quickly and sent it to some publishers and only one said, Yeah, that could be a book, but it shouldn't the stone talking 'cause stones can't talk Okay. I mean I think that publisher's not read many kids' books. But there we go. There's a lot of things where p things talk that can't talk. That is true. But I do think my publisher, Gronia, knows everything and should write books instead of the writers. I don't know if you find that with publishers know so much more than the authors. But anyway, that was seven years before the book came out. Wow. And it took a lot of drafts, a lot of rewrites, a lot of wholesale changes and I found it torturous and um I'm really proud of it. But I d I d I have full respect for any author, let alone an author who can turn out a book in a year, you know people release another book every year. I don't know how you do it. Yeah, it's you know, I but I find writing books the hardest thing of all the writing, but then actually I think if you just get into the right frame of mind. Uh and I've just started having a go at a few ideas. Right. And I'm actually suddenly thinking, Oh, okay, this is I think once you once you've got once you've got the idea it's uh it's yeah a little bit easier but it's you know you've got to let it percolate for so long. It's a good test of your attention span as well with phones and everything. Oh listen I if I manage thirty minutes of writing in a day that's a great day but uh but if I can do thirty minutes of of uninterrupted writing then that's a n you know you can I can I can I think partly because of writing the blog I can write quite quickly and uh and also improvise quite a lot within that writing. Which is I think writing quickly is a real skill. Yeah. And then edit it afterwards. But I do go around, I've been to a couple of schools with a book. But again, if you want to do a proper kids' book, you have to do a schools tour. You have to go everywhere but anyway, I've done a couple. And my main message to the kids is you can write a book fairly easily. If you do fifty words a day for a year. Yes.'s a That kid's book. Hundred words a day for a year. That's a grown up book. And that's not a lot. No. So I think you can squeeze it and that's what I did the first year was just squeezing in. But yeah, that was easy but the editing was a horrible bit. Yeah. It's a it's an interesting book 'cause it's if it's quite I mean I didn't know what I would expect from you. Um there's definitely Alex Horn uh moments in there of of whimsy and weirdness and and uh which are enjoyable. But it's quite an old it's uh quite old fashioned books. Yeah, it really is, I agree. Uh which I d which I don't mind at all, but it did remind me of books from the past. Yeah, it's not a very trendy book. No. It's not about wizards. It's not about Um There's not gonna be any sequ els to it. Like it's just a standalone book and it might be the only one I ever write. The only fiction book I ever write. Um but I really like Michael Mulpurgo growing up. There's a book called Why the Whales Came, which I read millions of times. Okay. Which is similar to in tone probably and place . Uh so I just wanted to write something quite sweet. Yeah. And it is sort of about my grandad who was a geologist called Trader, which is similar to the main characters. Um yeah. It wasn't and the publisher did say this won't be a bestseller. Right. But it's really nice. It feels like it's quite under the you know it feels quite a uh under the radar book 'cause given it's written like a lot of what and that's not a criticism. Yeah. A lot of um children's books that get written by uh t comedians and celebrities are kind of really pushed out there and I don't feel it's been pushed out there. It's been pushed out there very much It's interesting that. I mean we didn't even talk about a campaign. Right. Um I was very not very, but I was quite worried about being another comedian treading on proper author's toes. So I did want it to be a proper book and not like a clearly a marketing campaign. Sure. Um but that that wasn't the reason that hasn't been pushed out there. I I mean they Walker books, who were really, really good, they do believe in just getting the book out there and if people like it word of mouth will do the job. Yeah. Which I really like. That the a kid's book will last forever. Yes, well that's yeah the nice thing about kids books is th that you know that I think any most books have like a selling period and then they're not gonna sell much, but if a kid's book, you know could sell all the all the time and suddenly have a you know suddenly three years later suddenly ever It's like 'cause vanity wise, I don't I really don't care how many it sells numbers wise in terms of ego, but I just really want people to read it. 'Cause ages to write. So y so I did have all these daydreams before about it being some sh about everyone buying this book and then the reality hits . It's so small. Like it's such if you're talking about it as a pebble making ripples, it it's just sort of plopped in. Yeah in. an In ocean. I mean it's so it is so d I mean that's what I just think about books and I used to get frustrated when I was writing books and you know, exactly the same thing. You think I've w worked so hard on this and yeah you know, a few people are reading but not that many and it's not getting in into any lists or any re views. Um but actually then you look at the number of books there are in the world in the bookshop even and you're gonna go, Okay. This is quite good. And kids book in particular kids' books don't even get reviews. Yeah. I think we had one, but they said you definitely won't get any bound reviews because they don't review there's no room to put bad reviews in. There's no point slight you know criticising a kid's book. Um but what really has meant a lot to me is any time there is a direct review from a kid so I've had a few letters of course and a a uh class in Scotland, a P seven class, used as their set they all wrote reviews of it, all the kids. And that meant so much more than a lot of career things, something like you, but an actual personal thing from a kid. Yeah, no, no. And lots of them said I don't read books, but I read your one. Or it is my second favourite book after Diary of the Wimpy Kid, because that's really good. But I mean yeah, I actually I'm quite uh comfortable with it being small. Yes. And nice. Yeah. I mean it ri you know it's it's it's properly charming, it's proper it's you know, it's it's got a lovely feel to it. It's about s moving stones around, so you know, I if I was a child it would be my I and I still as an adult I still enjoyed that. Um but uh although the stones get taken off the beach which I cannot uh agree to you should they should be placed at the shit I know the transform a wall and we talked about this a lot actually with the publisher about we can't encourage people to take stones. Stones. But we also said I think you can. You can take one. I think what they don't want is people turning up with a tractor and taking them all. But I think a kid can take a stone and should take a stone. I think when it's sudden there's a little video over you of I saw online of you with some of the stones that you've found over the years. I've always got stones in my pockets. And I've always if I'm on the beach, I will always take one. Yeah. And my house is you know lots of little plates of stones because they do mean like like a fridge magnet I suppose. I I can't remember where they're from and I don't know enough about the stones. So in the book there are the key to lots of the stones. Yes. Because my grandad did try to teach us, but I it didn't really work for me. But I really like the idea that you can find out. Well I think in that in the book as well that you do do the journey of the stone not from the stone's perspective unfortunately, but uh but but that's fascin ating it's really fascinating how sort of is true as well. The stone that features in the book which, I won't say what it is, 'cause it's a tiny moment where you discover what it is, but it probably did travel from a volcano in Scotland over thousands, hundreds of thousands of years, which is really interesting. And every time you see a stone it has seen far more They do. Which is why you have to clear them all off a field and build a wall out of them and so that you will live forever. How's it going? Well I don't live near that field uh near enough to that field anymore. I've been back a couple of times. Right. Uh and my it might just be a once a year thing now which will really slow down the difference. Does that make you feel anything? As in does it make you feel slight waste of time or it was always a waste of time. So I don't think uh I I guess it didn't in a bad way. No, it's a c celebration Yeah. And you know, but it was s sort of about how everything's a waste of time in that podcast. So it's it's you know, it's about how uh obsessiveness which this is a little this book is a b a little bit about that um you know, because Yeah yeah. Which is the sort of thing that and you know, I used to love digging and trying to find stuff. We probably are quite similar, aren't we? Yeah, I yeah, we're definitely. Yeah.ind Fing things. I have written one book about bird watching. Yes. And I confess in that that I once pretended to find a bit of Roman pottery which I stole from my granddad. And he went along with it and said, I think that's Roman pottery, and I went to Hazelmeir Museum in the end. And he never told anyone. And in the book I confessed, and my parents were fairly disappointed in me at the age of forty . But the idea that I found something special. Yes. I hate I hate myself that I pretended. Yeah, I found a little thing that I thought was like a uh a figurine of uh like a you know uh like the Venus de Villendorf really. It was like a little tiny look like a stone age figure and I I took it into school to my teacher who said, Yeah, I think that's just a bit of melted plastic. Oh really? I remember my mum going I think my mum and my sister went oh it's a shame they didn't just pretend Yeah, like why didn't you even at the time why didn't they just pretend that it was But I was really excited about that, yeah. But uh my kids my kids are the same. My kids love digging up stuff in the garden. Do they? See mine don't, which is interesting. Mine uh quite basic sporty kids. Right. I'm not saying they're very good at but they that's what they their life is sport. Yes. Um which I wasn't ready. So Yeah, more in common with you than my kids. Okay, well you know you can come live with us if you want. Where do you live? Uh in Hitchin. It's nice. It's n you're not that far away. Okay. Yeah I will. It's fine. We've got a I've got a little annex that I use as an office. You could sleep up there. You'd that you'd have to just be quiet when I was recording podcasts. Anxious daughter won't cope very well with me turning up and living with I'm not saying she 's always anxious. She is she's not very anxious, just your book made her t absolutely terrified. Um we'll talk a little bit about the book I will talk to you about some other things as well. I mean uh it was sort of uh a lot the good the characters are really good and I think it it it's is a great subject because it's sort of those slightly loner kids and it not and finding friends and finding your tribe, isn't it? And and trader finds at Charlotte, isn't it? Yes. He finds a friend and then it yes. He he's bullied a little bit, but I also wanted to talk about the bullies or have them as slightly fully rounded characters. Yes. So they're not necessarily all bad. Yes, they're not. Have I watched um Small Profits? Yeah, I've seen we're halfway through. Okay, I won't say anything. But I what I talking to somebody it's my favourite thing ever. Yeah. But the characters in that I like that they're not all good and all bad. No, exactly, yeah. And I maybe the detectorist is a there's a bit of detectorist in this book I would love because they find things. But yeah, that uh from one kid's point of view, other kids can be horrible, but if you look through those kids' eyes, they're struggling too. Yeah, and I think that's not you know, I think that point's not made enough, and I think it's not made, you know, and I've I've always been slightly obsessed with that fact that people who talk about being bullied, because I think yeah, obviously there's quite a lot of bullying going on, but I think most kids are also doing a bit of both, you know, like you be I think you're surprised when someone I mean I definit ely uh bullied a couple of kids uh when I look back on it psychologically, you know, through with humour. Yeah. Uh and um d wouldn't have sort of seen myself as a bully but obviously also got my f fair share of bullying as well. But I think people tend to only remember yeah, to think of you know, to think of their lives as they're the central character in black and white and I think it's nice to go at least give a r reason why people are are behaving like that, but also to say yeah but, from another perspective. That that's a really nice thing in this . Yeah. But I but I found it more interesting writing about someone who didn't like football. Yes. And was a bit odd. But weirdly I made his dad really absent. And I don't know what that 'cause my dad wasn't particularly absent. Yeah, yeah. And I like to think I'm not too I can be absent, but um but I thought it's e more interesting to have a slight struggle. Well it's nice he's got a great relationship with his grandfather and that's aga rin. really That's that's a really interesting thing to explore as well. And I think you know, I think that's why it is that's why it's so re I think that's why it's so resonated with my daughter. Just because I think, you know, you have that relationship and then you get to an age where you realize they're old Well I think it was a bit of a fantasy relationship for me, the grandad relationship, and that actually my granddad, who was a geologist, wasn't that interested in us. Right . I'm sure he's a great person, but he was obsessed with the stones and his grandchildren. And my dad's pretty good with the grandchildren, and so is my wife's dad. But I still think there's another leap forward to go I want I would love to be that granddad who's really hands on.. Ye Yeahah. But I think it's probably really hard. I don't know about you. When I'm quite looking forward to the kids you know not having to look after them all the time. Yes. And when one of them has a kid I probably will go, Ah I've done I've done that now. Well I don't I'm not sure I'll live long enough to to experience that. Certainly if my certainly if my kids leave as long as I did I w I won't uh I won't experience that. But um but yeah I think it is you know I feel like my wife sometimes talks about having another kid and I go, Look, I'm you know, near I'm nearly sixty now. That's like Well you could just jump to being that kid's grandad. Just skip it, just tell him the grand and I don't have to get involved. I'll go live somewhere else. But like, you know, if you have a kid at sixty, then you're looking at uh sort of eighty as your is your minimum end route. So I I I I'm not confident about getting that far. So um sorry to hear that. Yes. No, the the fictional ones. I know a couple in a town where I live who are pretty hands on, but they tend to be their hand has been forced a bit by other situations. Sure. Yeah, and I think, you know, it's difficult for grandparents. Kids, you know, like it they're not very loud and th th if you're older that's much more annoying and there's loads of them. Like we've got my parents got seven grandkids. Oh they right. So you can't be hands on with all of them. No, no. No. But you know, look it's it's it's a very interest relingationship with the book and it's a it is it's absolutely charming and witty book and I'm glad you know, it is lovely. My wife's uh writes kids' books and she you know she gets these lovely messages from from kids who uh who are in are into it and it's uh I was keen to make it really good. Or t to at least try. And when the editor comes back with notes saying, Yeah, okay, l we've got to start again my heart sank every time. But they were always right and you did have to go. 'Cause I at any point you could just stop, you could say, No, I don't want to Yeah. This is it . But you do feel the responsibility to make it as good as as it can possibly be. I think so, and I think you are right about editors. I mean there must be some bad ones. I have not come across any bad ones in w in my work. They've always improved things, well. Yeah. But my nonfiction book editors were far less hands on. Oh really? I'd never experienced this before. Like it was a full layers upon layers of notes. Right. Every they stripped it apart and put it back together. Whereas the first book I wrote, they basically said it's a couple of typos, but otherwise yeah, let's do it. Yeah, I mean it's it's I think when you've got so much else going on and and your career is so successful that that is a it's a lot to be I mean I think that's why some celebrity books for special kids aren't that good because either they aren't writing them themselves or or they're going, Well I don't have time you know, I d I mean I feel that about a l a lot of people. I think I don't I you know I do a lot of writing and I don't understand how they've got time to do be on TV all the time as well as doing writing. Well I think if I was putting out another book next year then I would question it as well. But it would it would be another seven years and actually I do really want to and there could be a sequel 'cause that's something happens at the end of the book. And actually some of these kids in Scotland said, Will there be a sequel? And so your ego again goes, Well, I better write a sequel for these two kids who enjoy But I just don't see how I could. No. It is pro you know, unless there's a pandemic again. Or fingers crossed for for the sake of literature. Or maybe in five years when everything will inevitably die down. Well, will it I mean, you know, that's yeah, I mean I've I've sort of read in Juiz with that hint that you're that you're Well, it's quite full of it's not an infinite show title. If we st if we don't enjoy it we'll stop. But it's just um age as well, you know, he's he's a bit older. And I do want to spend more time at home at some point. I keep reading about people like Rob Beckett thinks saying he wants to spend more time at home and I do think yeah that maybe they've got it right. So at some point I should do that. I d that's I'm I'm fortunate, Alice, to be not very successful in my in my uh career so I get to spend you know, I may I get to choose. I I'm successful enough that I I can say I'll take some time off and no one's going, Oh but please come and do this when when I'm I've got that time off and then every now and again someone will say, Oh please come and do that I go, Oh great, I get paid for doing that rather than some of the you know, and I and there and I think you're right, there are comedians who just are just doing stuff all the time. Yeah. And you kinda think, but how do you how do you spend any you know, you're doing all this thing to to make money for your family, presumably then not seeing your family. So I think it is, you know, it is an important consideration of the money. It is. I mean I do get c quite long holidays, which people we like we don't film for two weeks over Christmas. So I get whole two weeks off which and then you talk to your mates at work, you know, normal jobs. Yes, yeah. You're like four days, you think what am I complaining about? And I really don't work at the weekends anymore, so I don't I don't gig at the weekends. Yeah. So I'm more like a normal nine to five type person. But it's just a lot of mental It is good, but you know, you've got to that point where you've g you you know you definitely have financial security, I would imagine, unless you've got a big drugs habit, I don't know about the gambling or No, I've got a but I do have a very nice wife who's quite keen to we've moved house recently and it turns out every room needs changing. But you can do that. It's quite a fun hobby, but it feels insane sometimes. But anyway you've got to the point that is sort of the dream where you can you could feasibly if you wish to say Well that's I'll take a couple of years off and not do anything and then I'll come back in two years' time. But Yeah, and Greg and I often talk about actually would you be happy not working? I don't think I would yet. No, no I don't think you would would you would you I wouldn't and Katie I think it's just getting that balance right. Katie goes, you know, if you don't gig for three months then you know, you can tell and not that it I become unpleasant but she can tell the difference yeah when I then go back and I'm just you know, I I th I need to do both. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Um and uh you know, I think it is is a very good outlet for the kind of personality that is a comedian who needs to get that out of their system and then can be a bit more nor bit more normal at home I guess. Yeah that I agree with that. Yeah. Um but I did there's a tiny bit of fancy of me that I could stop at some point and live in a little cottage by the sea and write another book. Yes. But I think that would be really horrible. You know, it's like giving birth, I imagine. That you forget about all the pain. Once the book's out, you go, Oh yeah, I can write another one of them. Yeah. Um but it is painful. It is painful. Yeah, but yeah, I would I don't know. I've sort it's been in some of them I found really painful and really difficult and more it's just a application than anything, just king you know, then then I've like the early books I wrote I kind of just didn't hit the deadlines and then just had to really do them fast. And uh but then the stuff I've been writing recently I just thought actually I'm just enjoying this, I'm doing it at my own pace. I've not I've got not any I haven't got any commissions to do anything or any deadline. But so I just you know, but I can afford to take the time out to go, okay, I'll just do some writing. So that's that's quite nice when it's like that and also still doing other things. But yeah, I mean I think if you're gonna be Richard Osman who's How often do you think his name doesn't come up in a book in a book in a book podcast. Not that he doesn't come up that much, I am thinking about him 'cause he 'cause he has just given up doing or is giving up doing House of Games. Which you know, g it was again, I can't see it those th that House of Games is an insane I mean it's eight hundred episodes. Yeah, eight hundred episodes and so it was the s it would be the same as t I mean Taskmaster you do ten episodes in two hundred episodes. But you do ten episodes in five in five days. He does five episodes of in a day. Every day. Yeah. And but then every day of the week. And every episode is only half an hour recorded. Like we both don't know, I imagine. Like he's obviously very smart in books, but he's very smart in telly as well. He knows how to I think churn is the wrong word, but he does know how to produce a lot of programs quickly. Yes. Um but oh oh but writing wise, so I do I do have a problem that if I've got a good idea I really it feels like such what if you die without writing that idea up? So I am I thought maybe I'd just write short stories now. So I've started like seven short stories. But I'm quite bad at finishing them unless I get a commission because I sort of think it's harder. I mean that's where I I'm sort of at I've sort of started three books and you know, we'll see where we go. I think the what the one I'm writing in the the one I'm writing most recently I think I might be able to push through 'cause I'm going to do more with the idea regardless. So it's a bit like just prep work for possibly a film or something. But um but yeah, it is unless someone says we're doing it it's hard. But then I think you can get to Well that's the thing when you have a really good idea, it's so exciting you've got to act on it. But and there are people like like Queve. Yes. Who has shown you can just do it. He's created this amazing career without any backing at the beginning. Yeah. Which is brilliant. And actually I ri did enjoy your interview with Fergus. That he was on sort of rock bottom. Yeah. just And kept going and that's quite inspiring. Yeah, I do know, I think that's the n well the nice thing about being a comedian and the nice thing about being a writer is I think you can always find somewhere to do it. So especially with writing 'cause you literally just need a piece of paper and a pen. Yeah. But as a comedian, you can nearly always find a gig, right? I mean, and certainly if you're an okay comedian, you can always find a gig. Yeah. So there's all you can always work. If you're happy to work. I mean I say when I've been on TV and I came back to stand-up and was playing, you know, tiny room And I was going round the corner to play to twenty people at by the pub. There's a moment you go, ooh, but actually I just went, No, I'm still r I still really love I love doing the gigs on the big one is probably the most fun one. Yeah. It's true. But it you know, it doesn't it it's actually is just the performance. Yeah uh that that's the important thing I think for me. So it isn't you know, it's nice it would be nice to play the hamster Apollo. Um Yeah, yeah. But like I said, we're doing this horn section gigs tonight in a fairly small we do sometimes quite big for nothing like the Apollo, but it's like thousand seaters normally. But I much prefer the small ones and I'm really excited about tonight. Although I did wake up going, Oh God Do you have that feeling? You go I l often us you know, I regret putting anything in the diary. But then actually when you go out and do it it's kind of Yeah it's kind of nice. So And really life affirming that we're still doing it. Yeah I think you know, but I think it is I but for me the the more I've gone on, you know, and I've experienced I've seen other people's careers going different ways and I've had a sort of I've had a fairly s I love your discussion of your own career. I don't think I just don't think it matters ri you know it'd be it's lovely if you're successful and it's lovely if you make some money. Yeah you know, if you've made a living. I've made a living for thirty years. Do you think you're sort of the Aver Everton of You're always in the Premier League. Just not not challenging for the title. Yeah, I think probably it's probably it's a nice you know, it's a nice life . Craquer pour notre délicieuse promo. En ce moment chez Colroy, un plus un gratuit sur les tomates Tomate à passe de Stoffels. Un plus un gratuit ? Oh génial ! Parfait pour la tomate mozza de mon apéro. Condition sur Colroy.beu Colruit Mejor Prix. Supporters opgelet. Bij Carrefour neemt de prij ter een hap uit de prijzen. Scoor tot dinsdag onze Galjamiloen. Nu één kopen, één gratis. In jouw karvoer. Ook open op zondag. Karvoer. So look, tasmaster. Let's talk about taskmaster. En zo, I heard you say you're not gonna do a champion of champions of champions which I'm very upset about. I though I can understand why you wouldn't want to do it. I when you do so many podcasts and interviews and people ask you things, so you say something and then it becomes gospel. So we're not at that stage yet. We've still got one more champion and champions to go before we even consider that . I I do I have a slight hunch that you should leave people wanting more. Yeah. And you shouldn't always give people what they want. But I also think more people would prefer to watch a loser of losers. But I also have a problem with rewarding failure. I think but I also think both shows wouldn't be as good. Yeah, I agree. Because I think like everyone doing badly won't be f will be just annoying. You don't want them to try to do it. And everyone doing well will be I mean I th I I still don't think everyone will do Taskmasters is one of those things where even if people are good, I think they'll you know Yeah. I'll if I'd be in it there'll be someone doing badly. But I think I just sort of think it would be at the moment the line up of Champion the Champion of Champions is quite a dull lineup of male male. Yeah. And that I guess probably is a slight factor. Although the last champion champions was all men and Maisie Adam. Yeah. But the one before there was only one man. So you know it hopefully it's w yeah, we it's frustrating I think 'cause we're pretty pleased with our numbers of representation. And then you see the four champion of champions hip. of Champion of Champions I would not have won it. Lisa Tarbot would have won it. Right. So I think you would have and like it w there was like again there was two two men and three women in my champion of champion in my champion of championship. Yeah. Well that's good. So it's just it was just anyone could have won in on one episode anyone can win. Which I'm delighted about. But there's that's that's true. But there's a slight element of the bubble being burst as well that once you've been through the process, when you come back it's not quite the same, I think. I mean in some ways that's interesting because it's the I think so. World Cup of Taskmaster. I would love that. I used to love international um well international gladiators. Also crypton fact. Uh no um going f going for gold. Oh yeah, going for gold. Um but I but I think commissioners aren't that interested in they don't want to see the Swedish person particularly But that's yeah, I think that's interesting. I'd love to see that. Yeah. Who but would you it would have to be you being the ho you I don't know, it'd have to be Greg I think. Yeah. But I think I do think the assistants are more interchangeable. Do you d do you think there's a better assistant than you? Paul Williams, I think. The New Zealand one. I don't have a comment. Well he's sort of similar to me in that he's quite nerdy, but he's really good looking. He's really good at people think I'm good at music, but I'm not. I've got a band, but they're good but Paul is really good at music. Yeah. He's good at acting. Yeah, he's funnier than me. Okay. So yeah, Paul and Greg. You've got to say that though, haven't you? Yeah, although the Swedish lady is really good and it helps them that they've got a woman in charge. 'Cause it's you know it's not a great look for us. The older we get, these two old blokes telling everyone what to do and judging them. Yeah, I think like it''ss that something that's only come along in the that's how 'cause it what you mean ten years of is it ten ye so like ten years ago n that no one was going and yet now someone would definitely like it's would I lie to you. Yeah, if it's now would I like to? No one would go, Shall we have like three blokes to be in every they would have gone, No, no, no, no, we've got to put it in. Yeah, although if it was on YouTube you would do that. Yeah. And then there's lots of discussions to be had. I mean ideally it would be more representative. But you don't want to commission something for those real it's gotta be the best people. Of course. But you also need to push we know what Yes. I I I do think we are doing a good job at promoting comedians who haven't got as big a big a following as Yes. Oh look it's ma it's amazing what um yeah it did nothing for me but for for the I think it had a negative effect for me. Really? Yeah, I think I got less people coming to see me as a result of Taskmaster. But I think like all the you know, some Stevie Martin I just re interviewed recently, I think it's been fantastic. Fatia, Al Gory I've been working with recently is amazing and I think that not that you No, no, I think it kinda broke her. It's good. I like it. I like the fact that you know that's uh there's that element to it and then Yeah. But you know wasn't really getting any traction from the fellow that really does display their skills. Like Mike and John Kearns. Yes, John's. Um and then certain others I mean I think actually if people know you already and you go on it, you're unlikely you're gonna surprise anyone. So when Jack D did it, who was one of my all time favourites, 'cause I love Jack , when you watch it you go, yeah, it's Jack D doing it. And so there's no real s it's funny. Yeah. But he's already done that on Celebrity Big Brother years and years ago. I suppose so, yeah. Uh is there another series of I meant to introduce you with this Is there another series of Alex Horn breaks the news in the pipeline? Hope so. See we we were I think ahead of the game. That was a podcast on Dave fifteen years ago. That was a long time ago, yeah. Did you do it a few times? Um did I I don't know. I don't think I did. I think it was quite good. Yeah. But now there's another podcast called Somebody Else Break the News in Scotland. And it's uh Oh break yeah, there is yeah break the news is n't it? Uh no, I don't think that's coming back. No, okay. But I have got a plan Uh there's maybe I might do a stupid podcast . Um which would take loads of my time and not be popular. Okay. So I might do that. Well that's those are my best podcasts. That's what I like. Oh yeah. So if people don't know about it which I'm sure they do but So what in um our horn section shows we used to as people left we used to play the song How Long by Ace. Right. But we just had the chorus on a loop . So it just went how long has this been going on? For twenty minutes. And it was funny. And then actually we did Glastonbury for the first time last year, which was a real highlight of my life. And before we went on, we had that song again on the loop for about 40 minutes. And people found it really funny. And I think on the back of that, we thought we should do this as a like comic relief type thing. And it was quite weird. I said to Channel 4, we had this idea, we sing one song, we said for a week . And they straight away said, Yeah, let's do it. But for a day, not a week. Um so we did it for stand up to cancer in a shop window in Battersea, so we sang the same song for twenty-four hours with people dropping in, like Al Murray playing the drums, Jedwood coming in. You couldn't it was a mistake letting Al Murray on the drums. Yeah. It's funny. I think he did an hour and a half. Yeah, he would have done he'd have carried on after you'd stopped. Yeah. The idea of it was to be a bit of a counterpoint to these sort of marathon running things which maybe we've seen enough of. Although they're always quite moving. But this was meant to be just a stupid thing. But it did become a bit of a marathon. I mean it must have been I mean I've d I've I've sort of haven't done like I've done things over a long period of time that are very similar. Yeah. Uh I haven't done any of those sort of twenty four hour . Well Mark Watson came and did a couple of sessions 'cause he is Yeah he's the king of it. Yeah. And I did have I said to him I have newfound respect for you 'cause you do go mad. Absolutely, yeah. And actually during it I felt quite same. Um but uh the next week I was a bit of a mess. Yeah. 'Cause also you feel odd that you feel like you've done something important which is awful. So you feel you feel like oh I've done this thing. But actually no one you know it it did raise some money, which is great. Yeah. I mean w but everyone carries on with their life. Wouldn't it have been good if it just didn't really raise that money if it was like you've raised four hundred quid yeah. I know there is that worry always. But we did get the feeling it was had a bit of momentum. It felt like it was fun a fun thing. Um but I went to a party the next day and not a single person knew anything about it. And I couldn' spetak and they're saying what's wrong with you And you can't you can't go on about it. So it's we really love doing it and we think it was the best thing we've done as a band, but but I also would never do it again. Yeah. I don't know. No what do you did but you'd that that''ss 's what the beauty of that kind of thing is you wouldn't do it again, you know, you 've done that. So yeah, and it's I mean doing it for a week though, imagine that's it was a really stupid idea. But I think you would have But we all said the six of us 'cause we are really you know, best friends. The six of us being in a room without having to do any parenting or real work. No one checked it emails. Three nice. It was just a really lovely thing. It was just before Christmas. And also lots of our heroes came in. Like Harry Hill came in for a a bit and and then we walked into channel into this weird studio at the end and we didn't know anything was happening there and they had all these surprises for us and that felt pretty moving. Yeah. And actually we've all to be vaguely serious, we are all touched by cancer, I know you are and people I know have blah blah blah. So it did feel like it was a worthy cause. Who knows if it does any good? No, I mean I think it does. I think of uh you know, uh all these things uh I mean standard of cancer is a really good one I think and uh uh Cancer Research UK I think are uh behind that. Are they a comic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's yeah, yeah. We met lots of good people, but you do it's a bit like being a comic writing a kid's book. Yes. There's something you get a bit icky about it. Yeah, there is, but I think also that I think in that case I think you can eat up the ick. Yeah, I was alright with it. I was really comfortable that it was a funny idea. Yeah, yeah. And it was a fun you know, and if it wa i i if if you just decided to do that for no reason I would still You might as well raise well raise your way but it but it's still it's such a funny funny idea to do that. So the I mean the horn section is just g it''s you know, youre doing your d you've got your T V s sitcom. Well that yeah, we've done two series of that. Yeah. We won a w an award the British Comedy Guide. Right. Which is voted for by the public. Yes, that's nice. I imagine we think voted for by the viewers of Task Master. But it did actually was really lovely to get in a walk because no one noticed our sitcom. Yeah. And we really found it fun we tried to do a it we tried to make a funny sitcom with with jokes 'cause I don't think there's enough for them at the moment. Yeah. Um but it didn't make much of a splash because it's s like books, I think. Really hard to. So we we actually got this little plinth. We went out last night to celebrate. Oh good. And there's no award ceremony or anything with this, it's just a you get a center thing. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so that was quite that was nice. I mean it's sort of like you said 'cause there's so many there's six of you, right? So I mean that's a hard thing to make work financially. So you do so we tour every other year, so we not touring this year. Put out albums all the time which no one we must put out seven albums, I think . But it's nice to be in that position where you can do something that is good and that you love and that you know, and and people still want to it's not like you're putting out on no one's personal at all. But we have stayed at a similar level. I think we might be similar to you on that front. Yeah, that we're always around. Yeah. And sometimes we get booked for something big, you think oh that's good and then everyone ignores us again. But I think also the older we get the f I think the easier it is to be funny because if you're a bit naughty or rude in your fifties, that's funnier than in your twenties. Yeah, well we uh we always thought that 's what me and Stew always used to say, yeah. That we would should really be doing it. I mean, thank God we're not going to but we we should really have been doing it in our sixties. Yeah. Because two old men bickering is hilarious. Well I think the home section will be the one thing that does Because i we really enjoy doing it and it will get funnier and funnier if we were doing stupid dances in our seventies. Yeah. In little skimpy shorts. Great. I think that'll be good. Yeah. Good. So uh good. Did you do the uh we had a book out as well, called the Horn Section quite remember what it's called, a book for kids. Oh yes you did, yeah, and actually I I saw some a really nice I haven't read that book. No, that's right. Oh no, actually you sent them me that book and that I m but I moved house. Oh right.. And I lost it Fair enough. It was underneath it was underneath the chair. It was underneath a chair and I think we left 'cause we moved out before we m sold the house. Right. And I think it got s left under a chair. You keep saying under a chair. Yeah. Well 'cause I think it was under a chair. I think I put it I think I put it under the s chair and then I think I lost left it in the move. And so I didn't read it. So ' 'causecause I we could have so uh Well what I would say Yeah I saw some lovely reviews of that again from It was good fun but again anyone who've read it. But um we did a really good audiobook of that because it's got lots of musical elements. Yes, yeah. And actually this I've done the audiobook for and the band have done a little bit of music great at the end of each chapter, a little bit of sort of C side D, sea shanty ish music, which is which is really nice. Yeah. But it isn't just me doing the the whole thing. It should be you doing the whole thing. Well I again I listened to Fergus's interview as research and he said he didn't because his book is mainly about old females. Yeah. Um but I am no actor. But I did I found it quite emotional reading after I really struggle on the last um few pages. So that's again I quite like that it the thing exists with my voice. So when I die or whatever, there's still my voice. Yep. Reading the book for future generations of horn. If any of them are interested my boys are not interested in that button . I know, but they'll be interested in in listening to that. They'll give it to their children also. Yeah, when they're older and it'll be the when you're when you're dead in ten or fifteen years' time they'll listen back to that. Well, Greg and I do always say that we really love Taskmaster but the sitcoms and the books, you feel a bit more not pride necessarily, but ownership of because it's a whole uh finished story. Yes. Whereas I guess Taskmaster, because there's two hundred episodes, you can't care about each episode as m much. No, and also I think a book there's something about a book that and a story that sort of transcends time in a way that uh you know, and not necessarily 'cause obviously many books are in f in the past and disappear, but like there's a chance with a book in two hundred years time someone could find a copy of that under a And uh and you know, and and and be still reading it with whereas with Taskmaster, even if someone was watching it in two hundred years time, I think they'd be a bit confused about who everyone was and what was going on. I also find with writing sometimes you read something that you wrote either six months ago or six years ago and you go, Oh, that's quite good. Yeah, and you're quite surprisingly pleased with yourself. So when I did the audiobook, I did notice a couple of mistakes, which is horrible. But most of the time you're going, This is good stuff. Which is which is a good feeling. Well that is nice when that happens. Always say I say it to everyone, do the audio book before you finish the the last edit of the book and then you can change the book. There's literally two. There's one logic mistake and one type one spelling mistake, which made me so angry. In my bird watching book there was a typo. The word with was spelt wrong. Right. And they spelt with W I C U S T J E R E M Y S T R O N G T H . Wickest Jeremy Strongh. And there's like an error at the um at the printing factory . I don't know. And then I met up w with Jeremy Strong's Paul . Copy and paste . Yeah. That is good. I mean it's so it's so bad. It's quite funny. I think it even had a hyphen 'cause it actually crossed a line . Oh good. Well um and some other you've done bird watching Birdwatching Watching. There's a book about bird watching, not about birds. Yeah. Quite a few taskmaster books. Yeah. There's lots of nice t taskmaster books. And there is actually something else that might come out in the future which is quite exciting, a little fictional task months of book, maybe. Okay. Which I can't talk about. But that's which I've got a hand in but actually I'm getting slightly better at what's it called? Giving other or finding really good play I I think lots of our careers is working I mean you've got an amazing look the taskmaster team there's having done c d dotted around quite a lot of T V shows that I'm not really involved with because apart from every now and again the Taskmaster team , it's absolutely that and uh the Bob and Paul go fishing things. Oh, they're good too. Just amazing. Because that we're also because everyone's so happy to be on it. But I think Taskmaster is because they in Taskmaster they're so so much a part I mean more than people realise. Yeah. It's certainly the two Andes, but everyone is so much apart and it's a very small team. So it's very hands on. Yeah. No, we're quite family. Lots of people have had babies, got married since we started. And bad things and good things but yeah. Of course yeah. But um but yeah, there's somebody involved in the editing side who's a really good writer, so hopefully we're teaming up on something. Okay. But see, you can sit back and let all the other ones around the world go on. You can get someone else to sit in for you. Yeah. Even if you stopped doing Greg stopped doing it, I bet it won't it wouldn't stop you. Interesting. You can Richard Osman in it up. I mean it would be uh uh I I tell you it would be a stupid fucking job for anyone to take on. But someone would take it on. I do think House of Games lots of people are thinking, yeah, I could do I could do a good job on that. Whereas I think taking over Greg's job is ironically bigger shoes to or appropriately bigger shoes to fill. Even though Richard, you know, was all over that and it was his face. But I guess yeah, it's a slightly different job. Different angle I think. Yeah, I have thought about it. Um more if something happened to Greg . But I think we both think when we stop it'll stop but it might be out of our control. These are things that people would love by the way. Well I'm ruling myself out. Are you? Yeah. Okay. So sorry about that. Well I'll rethink then. Yeah. Um it's always nice to just have occasionally text you with an idea for someone to be in it. I do it to I do it to Osman as well though, of course. Oh I do like that. Well you said to me just before. Yeah. Before we started running. I'll give you an idea before we start recording. Yep. And it is not you know, but it's good but that's what I love about that show is you'll open up to it does it just works so well. I mean it's did you know that when you would you do you did you know when you put in those lots of people together or is it just over Oh putting the cast together. No, I think that's all luck. for it. Yeah. But there's a real push and pull with all the different people involved about whether we need a bigger name which I always think we don't. But a bigger name does help to sell it a bit. And the channel has stuff to say. They have stuff to and and they're really supportive as well actually. But we it's so personal, isn't it? Comedians. Like I was I hope she doesn't mind me saying this. I didn't know Judy loves comedy very much. Right. Yeah. And I was slightly persuaded that she was really funny. And we did so w channel four said she's really great. Yeah. And so we because we get on well, we said, Okay, if you're sure and she was so funny. Yes. Yeah. So you've got to sometimes put away your um personal preferences about stand-ups. 'Cause I don't know, there's not that many stand-ups I really like in terms of their actual stand-up because I get a little bit jaded by stand-up. Yeah I but then I really like the people off the stage more. Yeah, that's interesting. By the way, Ju Judy's love Judy loves stand-up is very funny. I just haven't seen enough of it. It was really a good choice. I think you know, I still I for some reason I still I think I enjoy comedy even more now than I yeah so and I've got I'm a lot less judgmental about stuff. I think like when I was when we first started out it was really like oh we're that we only we really know what we're doing and everyone else is a chancer. I think that's a and then and then the more you go on you go, Yeah, no, okay. There's some really good people. Maybe I'm a bit scared of seeing good people. But I do yeah. We've got scouts out. Yeah. And actually Andy Devonshire goes to the Sower Theatre almost every night to watch people to see who's doing what, which is amazing. Yeah. Which is gotta do. Um and have you been uh uh you a big reader? Do you get any time to read books? Have you been reading anything by anyone else you would like to read? I do read books. Um pretty slow. Yeah. Um I reckon I read about twenty a year? Is it? Yeah. I think that's pr I mean before I started doing this, I would I so I would go through I could probably go through some years where I was reading one or two. Yeah. Uh and and if I didn't have holiday. If I had ho if I have a holiday as I re I read this book on holiday and I read six or seven books on holiday. 'Cause we love reading on holiday, so why don't we do it? I c and I actually find it really difficult if I'm not on holiday to just actually read off the page now 'cause I listen to so many audiobo Well I've just audiobooks. I fall asleep. Um I didn't begin with and now and now uh just it's a great way of listening to loads of stuff. While travelling. Well while yeah, walking the dog, running, whatever. Yeah. Driving the car. Two books are reading one and just finished one. And they're quite a good pair. And neither are out yet. Okay. So I got I imagine you get sent books sometimes to see if you not necessarily give I don't quite know what why I've sent these. But anyway, they're both very good, both very different. So one is by John Robbins. Okay. Yes. Uh I hope he doesn't mind me talking about it. I think that's probably the idea of sending me the book. It's called Thirst and it's about his uh relationship with alcohol. Yes. And I know John very well, or I thought I did, and now I realise I didn't know him that well. But I know him a lot more now. But it's a very powerful book, funny, like his stand up shows about his mental health. So I read that. But actually I did read that on holiday and most of the times I was reading it I'd had a couple of drinks so I was had a quite complicated relationship with the book. But it's very good. Um odd reading a book about your friend. Yes. Yeah. And I could hear his voice throughout it. But it's good. And it comes, you know, he's been through a lot. Yeah. But I'm also reading a book called Death by Noir by Ollie Smith. Okay. So this is all about wine. And it's a slightly Osmone story about um a murder in Sussex . So it's quite an odd companion to thirst. But I recommend them both equally. Yeah, death by noise. Very funny and sort of charming. Yeah. But completely the opposite of John's book. Yeah, well definitely will I will want to be talking to John about his book. He hasn't sent me a copy. Bust yet. Not yet. Well I mean I think I'm very curious about it. It's gonna come out in May. Uh I think I'm not I'm too close to it to give it any critical judgment. Yes. But I really enjoyed it. And in the same way as when I watched Tim Key and anything, uh I find it very hard to be critical about it because it's just Tim on the screen. Although I did you know his movie surpassed that. Yeah. The uh the colle the latest collection of poems I think is reading they're pretty by we're read the one of the LA one it's amazing My constant thing with him is that they're not poems, they're not jokes. They're just it's good. Okay, that's good. I compared him to Charles Buchowski on it, which he liked because there was some references to put Charles Bukowski in there that he said so Yeah. I have I did like it as well. Yeah. Um look thank you so much for Richard eventually finding offended you off for so long You were. My problem with your live show, which I'll tell you my two problems with it, was committing to a date. But also I had such good time when I did it. I really loved it. And I'm worried about doing it again that I might not like it so much. I understand that and it's a risk. And there's sometimes sometimes I feel like s like even sometimes haven't I had a few times and it's worked and then suddenly I go, Oh we've stretched it too far, this like last one was too much. I think that w that we might have we might have another one in this. Yeah, I think so too. But so but I understand that so like with Brian Blessed, people go, I'll get Brian Blessed back. And I go, I don't think it can do it. It could never even if he did the same thing or the a similar thing we'd did. Well without always trying to bring things back to Taskmaster, when we do our new year specials, people quite often say, Oh wouldn't it be great to have a series with those people. Yeah. But I think actually most of those people are one off is ideal. Yeah no it's whereas comedians you you do want to get ten out of them. But Adrian Charles is my one. I think Adrian Charles could do a series. Yeah. He's so funny. He is very funny. And I've he's done this a coup well I've done a couple of po uh maybe three podcasts with with him and he's always been he went he was fan