Working with Anthony Hopkins

Hi Rat fans. Thankks for downloading the podcast. Thanks to everyone who came to the Droit Witch and St. Alban's gigs, which were fantastic. Look the big news is coming up we're at the Edinburgh fringe doing Rhllistterur From the fifth of August to the sixteenth of August, there's two shows on the eighth and ninth. They're all at St three except for those later shows at five thirty which are at W Edinburgh, which is another stand venue. The regular shows at two o'clock. tickets are available go to richchain d. com slash rllustter p And book now, especially if you want to come on the weekends where tickets are selling fast I am going to start booking guests this week and you'll be able to see The confirmed guests on that website as well. So book ahead It's lots of fun. We had loads of fun last year we should be creating Enough podcasts to see us through to the end of the year. After that, what's gonna to happen Sure, my find friends sure Anyway, sit back, relax, Enjoy another episode Of whatever Flickking podcast you're listening to. Hello, welcome to another retro, Rllistupper where we go back in time To see what was happening to the stupid people of twenty twenty three and what they were enjoying and watching. It's a chance to watch again, watchatch for the first time, tellell your friends. It's a time where you go, o Rich, you've given away a whole video of this for free on YouTube. It must have cost you thousands of pounds. Yes it did. Let us buy a badge at goofuss stripe. com slash badges to pay you back Every month we'll give you like five pounds or something like that and we'll get loads of bonuses. Is that all right? Okay, you've talked me into it.'ll We'll do exactly that Come and see us live Richturn. com slash Re Hallisber. This is one of my favourite guests. And this is, I think the second time we did the show's the beautiful Mark Gatis. You don't want to miss this one. So watch it, enjoy it Tell your friends if you like it and listen to the podcast with some adverts and if you don't want to give us any money. Thank you very much. goodoodbye. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Leicester Square Theatater. Please welcome a man who's risen from his deathbed. too see you. It's Richard Herring My very much Id love to see you. Thank you Thanks very much. Wlcome to Rich Hanging's Leicester Square Theatre podcast. I was hanging around with in private eye. scraping the bottom of thearl. there's people my age who will have no idea what is. I don't know why I'm even looking at you. I mean In time rememember in time priye Yeah. Yeah. He calls it reist of us out D know that's gonna catch on. I'm a little bit ill I think I'm okay. I've been, you know I've been I did seven podcasts in four days last week which may have been too many podcasts in three different towns. So yeah, that was a mistake and then I and I got ill and I think I'm nearly better, but I've got a bit that's just to explain that. But luckily I have been I have discovered someone Chris Cooper, I believe sent me an emergency question that had been created by artificial intelligence, these chat things that you can put in And I've just I've been lying in bed just thinking, I don't need to do any work ever again now I'm going to prove it with this episode Hi. The emgency This is an emergency question that artificial intelligence came up to write a question in the style of Richard Herring. is the This is the first one I saw. I think this one's pretty good If you are stuck in a lift with a sentient jar of pickles claim to be your long lost brother, would you believe him And if so, would you risk tasting his briny essence to confirm his identity Or would you prefer to remain a cucumber coward They're not all that good, but that one is sort of like That one was so scarily I could have written that Um I I did there's a lot. I've got a whole I've got loads it's great. I don't have to ever work again So we'll mainly do artificial intelligence ones today N I'll give you some examples. There's a couple that I probably won't ask. like if the world were to be populated entirely by Richard Herring look alikes Would it be a utopia of herring based hilarity or a nightmarish dystopia where the same jokes are repeated ad in infiniteem sort ofing dis by fucking artificial intelligence there As again Would you rather be forced to sit through an eternity of Big Brother episodes or be stuck in a room with Richard Herring reciting an endless stream of bad jokes? That is not That's not what I askos for U There's a few good ones in there though What would be the worst experience of being eaten by a giant? That That's a good question I asked Chat GPT, Is it cheating to have sex with ChatGPT? I asked if that It says no it's not cheating to have sex with chat GBT. Chat GBT is a chat bot, not a real person. so it's not considered cheating. So there we go Q quite flirty with me,n' it? up for it I thought Again, to saved me some time when I was ill. I asked it to write the opening monologue for an episode of Rellister. Ladies and gmen this is it. ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. hopefully not. And anyone else who's found themselves inexplicably drawn to this podcast like a moth to a flame or a brex of tea to a pint of warm beer it political Welcome to another episode of Richard Herr's Liceson Square Theatre podcast, or Rahalistopppa for short. That's that's not why I would say is it Now I know what you're thinking. Wh is this chat GPT character? and why is she opening for Richard Herring I didn't I never asked it for her to be a I don't think female chat GPTs are that funny, so I dont's What you What's happening to you David? you're got insane with yourre heckling. You' drunk Good. U didid he find what happened? Why is he opening Riching? Did he finally run out of comedians who are willing to be seen in public with him Well, the truth is, I'm not a comedian, I'm actually an AI language model designed to generate text. But don't worry, I've been programmed with plenty of jokes and witty banter to keep you entertained for the next hour or so And speaking of entertaining, we' a fantastic guest for you today. They've been described as the funniest thing to come out of Inert Guests hometown here So Sedgefield for our first guest since the insert humerous local landmark or product here I mean, that that is not no good, is it? So I've been said. so it's the funniest thing to come out of Sedgefield since the Sedersfield Hall. And Yeah some fans of Sedgefield in there I'm not just saying that because I was programmed too. So sit back, relax That' what I say and get ready to laugh until your sides hurt or until you realise that the bleak uncaring void of existence will inevitably swallow us all. Which ever comes first. It's time for Rallistuppa with Richard Hering and our very special guest. He is probably that's quite goodly that was all right. I don't need to I might not need to do that. I might be replaced. I might be replaceable. I guess the night is probably best known For his appearance as Teddy in foootball as wives you please welcome,'credible. M, Cate, ladies and gentlemen Comebody. Teddy from F football' his wife. That's true, yes, that is what I'm mostly recognized for. Get that a lot to be your famous cat friendrase. Yeah What was Teddy an agent? He was an agent, Yeah, football. I asked to do it because I I wanted to do something really trashy and I remember I thought it was yeah, it was fun. My catchphrase was football Hhing to do with V good football. It's been eight and a half years since you did this. I know. you were on episode forty seven, this is episode four hundred thirty seven And there's been loads of specials. so it's over four hundred episodes of this have Gone by. I thought it was about a month. It doesn't feel like eight andoughvious it was seeptember. It was the twenty ninth of september twenty fourteen Remember remember that? Yeah? I remember Christ womoman Okay. ye. That's all I remember. Okay. I don't remember that. I didn't listen back, so but I said Christ womoman I said it sounded like she holdcos. It's like a superhero. That's right. That's good Well when someone has' been over ages, the good thing is I just think I'll only look at stuff they've done since twenty fourteen. So then I can't And I can't repeat myself. But there is one question I have to ask you and I think everyone will want to know the answer to this If you were stuck in a lift with a sentient jar of pickles that claim to be your long lost brother, would you believe him? And if so, would you risk tasting his brine essence to confirm his identity, or would you prefer to remain a cucumber coward? Yes or no.'s a hard, it's a hard one to. Why would is this Briny Eessence confirm me Iolog?'s you know, there's more questions than answers. See, they're not gonna take over the world, That's not the cheuring test, isnt it? But you know, would that be maybe if you had a long lost brother, would you give him a lick just to the pheromones and stuff within I'm not sure if pheromones the right thing to talk about with your own brother, I always think one pheromones always make me think of purses comeba. Do you know what I mean by that? No one Thank you. She played Lieutenant Dyer in Star Trek The Motion Picture.. It's the first time I ever came across Pheromones. Okay You rembered. Good. It's good you and I are very good at finding one person who remembered. I talking the audience, which is good. And also, last time you were on, I had a terrible cold and you had a cold and a bad back And I've got a bad cold again. So maybe that's just been going for eight and a half years.ie But it's a weird coincidence that I'm ill for both of these. I may be allergic to you. Yes. What's happened? What's going on? How many people have you had back I mean quite a few Yeah, you run out. Adam Buxtson's been on eight times and Adam Buxton in various forms because there's different doeses he take different forms now? He takes he's been on fide butterfly He probably can. But yeah, there's some people who come back more. And also pick somebody who are in double acts and then come back in the singly or with the d't. But ye, sometimes you know we're always welcome, Mark, to come back at anyt timee' Or in eight and a half, we can just put you in for eight and a half years. Every eight and a half years. Like an MOT I have a question, I've got questions for you from AI. This is why I'm not going to be replaced Bay, Oie These I said for some questions from Mark Gatis and it's disappointing What is your favorite episode of Sherlock that you wrote or acted in W she? Why What is your favorite mean, this is bad. This is like a child would when I had that Welsh children would be better. Welsh children used to write my questions and they were much better than this. What is your favorite memory of working with the cast and crew of Sherlock? No If you could play any role in Doctor Who This is poor. It's very bad. so we're going gonna have to stay with me. I've got a question from Robin Aswith, the Yeah good, the star of confonfession series. I think he's a real person, but he looks so young, maybe he is AI. could be I mean is it intelligence? Is Timmy Leia intelligent to be called artificial intelligent. He said, ask him if he enjoyed the resistible rise of ourturu Ui at the Darlington hippodrome in nineteen eighty two it was a formative experience for me. Robin Aswith of the Confessionions films was in Brecht, the resistible rise of arteruioe, which I saw about a school trip And he was absolutely brilliant and I've never forgotten it. Yeah. And it ends, you know the bit at the end when he pulls off the mustache talks about fascism and the beast that bore her is on heat again. They really stayed with me. He's brilliant. He's a very good actor. He's a very good actor. Yeah. he's been a guest on this as well. he's a very I love the fact he's open to talk about all that stuff in the seventies, but it's sort That's an interesting thing isn't it? Be he could have been he could have been remembered as being this incredible actor, which I think he still is, but also those The film the film choices he made in the seventies have he's been curious. he's been adopted by a lot of clever people who don't seem to mind that the films were really terrified and wrong. He's a sort of symbol of a different age, isn't he? I found out something amazing the other day. Do you want to hear him? Yeah So you know Denville Hall, the A actress retetire at home. Yes There's another one calledld Anyone now? No There is another one down the road. And that's for light entertainment. Oh really? Denville Hall is sort of legit The other one which begins with the bees like Brindley Hall or something is for light entertainment. And I just thought, well, that's an amazing sitcom. that's never sort of rivalry between the two. And apparently U Richard O'Sullivan who is there and has been there for many years, shares a flat with Mike Yallwood. No. Ist that amazing? Yeah, That's another sitcom we've tonight. Who' gonna be today? Yeah Aazing And this is me. says Mike every day. Well it' sort of I was today I was watching Noolly, which you play Larry Grayson in and which is about crossroads And What's her name? Nel Gordon? No Gordon this second can I think of Noolly now I' been watching. No Gordon and and it is that But there would be people who are big stars and Larry Grayson is a must have been a really interesting person to play because he is he is that figure that he had that long period before he became famous and then he was super famous in the UK And then disappeared again, basically. So I mean Yeah, it's a strange thing. He was basically a thirty year overnight success story. He was a club comic. Very, you know, just just a just doing his stuff for years, then an agent from ATV's home, I think it was Michael Grade. and go in a spot on an ATV variety show He was such a success. He got his own show. shut that door. And then amazingly, and this never happens, Bruce Forssythe left the generation game at the height of his powers to go to ITV for the money. neverever a good idea And some genius thought of Larry Grayson so unlikely Yeah. and it was even better, you know Yeah. But then it's like ten years of absolutely ruling the roost and then he just stopped. That's the end of that. I'm very I've become hugely fond of him watching him again. you realize what masterful comic he was and how how beautiful it is to see his control as I say, you know, he's just he was born for camera three. He just has to go And yes, a huge laugh and it's just it's filthy stuff. But it's also very gentle and kind of And Russell T. Davis said to me, he said, I did I wonder if there was a story in Larry, but there isn't. He's just lovely. Everyone loved it. He lived in Ununeaten. He used to wave to everybody, lived with his elderly sister. She looked after him, he looked after her. It's just charming, really And when so when you you get you know you played real people quite a lot When you get to play someone like that, is there a lot of are doing a lot of research into Yeah it's mostly watching videos and getting the voice and and I got the teeth quite quickly. But it's always an interesting g. play John Gilood at the National Theatre and It's such an interesting process Listening to it a lot, trying to get the voice and trying to place it in your voice, you know, like that. Larry was's quite challenging because he he's actually deeper than you imagine And then it kind of floats off somewhere else, you know, But as soon as I had the chair and the teeth, I was allright. And one of the most amazing things about doing it was Um So Helena Bon McCarter comes to see me in my show and we shot it at Stockport Plaza It with like one hundred and fifty extras. And it was like a quiet matinee. and I had to do it. I just had to do the act for you know, and it was so it was quite addictive actually. I thought I might tour it. people shut that door again. People you do take a act and do it in an interesting way. Yeah, I saw that poster for that Faulty Ters dining experience Yeah, that made me go a bit funny. Yeah I'm not sure that th that was you doing Harry Grayson ding experience. orr they actual the League Gentlemen doing a League gentlemen dineing experience, but with you actually hing it. That would tell you what here's a strange story. When we did our last tour in twenty eighteen we got to It might have been Oxford or maybe York, I can't remember. but we arrived at the stage door. W was someone in the theater watched this troop through and he went The original And I thought, is someone touring Is some what tic guys us know about it. Re weird He's a strange story ourur tool manager manages queen and He's also weirdly in charge of looking after the Tribute actcts. becausecause Roger Taylor apparently was once one like devisors ' a loose ended. he went to see a Queen triribute actually, he thought they were so shit. He decided that quQeen should should look after them. So they've taken them all in. And you have to they have they have auditions for the tribute bands Is that amazing? Sort of power mad. I was seeing Sasha Barron C because Sash Baron Cb was meant to be in the Freddie Mercury. Yeah ye. And then and then fell out with them because They wanted they said there's an amazing that happens halfway through the film. He goes, what's that goes Freddy dies. They go what is what you putting in you're doing the sort of pulp fiction, putting the end in the middle No, no, that's the then it's about the band The b that was one There was a fabulous lack of self aware. There is. I remember watching the b Bafts when Ramyalic one. and whoever was Penting was in a generalized way saying, you know, there's no Morcommer without wise. There's no queen without Fred Mercury. Roger Taylor and Bri and Brian May in the background just go Well, there is F as Vickca. I did B And I what I never I didn't see this play, but I'm fascinated. I saw you talking about it on Bey Breakfast or clip You played Jacob Marley and directed our own version of The Christmas? I know I wrote it. It was directed by Adam Pen. you wrote it Yeah. It's coming back, it? Oh Bally Pally not with me though. this Christmas. Be I've always been quite obsessed with Jacob Marlin. Me too, that's. And like it been bit unfair on him. whyy did't no ghosts come to warn him? he's quite nice, isn't he? to come back? Yeah. I mean in the muppets, there's two of him. So he comes back twice changes an intervention for his friend, Yeah. Yeah, it's a very nice thing to do. and yet you never hear from I don't think Maybe you addressed this. someone told me you chain you rewrote the end of Christmas G. maybe can't we can't talk about it. veryy thanful otherwise it's a I love it. I've always loved it. the Albert Finney version I saw when I was It was one of the very first things I ever saw at the cinema and it really left a mark for me. And I've always loved the idea of weirdly It is too late for Marley. I quite like that Yeah and Scrooge is the one who's given the chance, you know, but It's yeah, it was strange because it was always my it was the last question. I was always any parts you'd love to play. And I will always say, I always wanted to play Jacob Marley, waiting for someone to offer. Eventually I just had to do it myself. But theight didid it? And then All right, I've got to think of something else now play an AI generator It's interesting to want, I mean, you know, I think it's a good choice, but it's interesting to choose Marley over Scrooge. Yeah, was I suppose what do is just No that's the crazy thing. I mean, literally having written it and it never occurred to me u tillil we actually got rehearsal that I wasn't in it very much. But I play lots of other people in it, you know so it was so far. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I you know, I dont I don't know whether Scrooge is worth saving, you know, I mean, there's versions of it. I know the musical version has a bit more of a backstory in these ye had a bad life and then maybe you know he deserves retribution. But why Why bother saving Scrooer? I mean, I think Marley's nicer than It should be the other way around There should be a modern version with Jacob B S Mogg, I think. But he just send them packing, wouldn't he? Or in fact, any of them, really, Yeah. That's the only thing that can save this government is a visitation by Three spirits Yeah, they wouldn't care. They don't care. They'd keep on aftering them they on the little boats and send them back They doun the Rriver sticks Snd them back. Dies where they belong Um I'm just a river stick, that's good river stick, could I'm disappointed that in most of your work you have after a strong start, you've failed to put Tim from the office in very much of the stuff youve you put put him from the office in Cherlckocker, if you remember that. Yeah. But then he's hardly been in anything else. I know. sad, isn't it? And you haven't even put a shrek in, so I'm disappointed with that. But look're doing mean as you' saying youre doing lots of exciting things in the there. You directed the unfriend which I was going to see COVID Was it COVID? I got I was on the train into London coming from Hertfordshire, having spent m lot of money on tickets. saying the performance has been cancelled So I bed we booked in weeks before me and my wife d you've got tnt the end of April, you' fine go go. Yeah, it was. it was COVID and it was haven't have the money back yet It was strange because it felt I thought, well, everyone's going to go down with this and we seem to be the only theatre. It was like a sort of strange outbreak. but us tellell us about the Unfriend had fantastic reviews? Yeah, it's Stephven Moffat's first play and it's based on a true story Stephen and Sue's friends, Peter and Debbie were on a cruise. And they met this very funny vivacious American woman, slightly well more than slightly non. PC, but everyone loved her and they did that thing. They swapped email addresses, never thinking She got in touch and then a few months later she got in touch and said, Hey, I'm coming to London, so they invite a do her over with them and stay with them and the kids and then Peter Googled her because he thought we don't really know anything about her So he Googled and then he rang his wife, Debie at work said, you know, Eler is. ing to stay with us and the kids. Yes. He said, I just googled her, don't Google her What's the worst thing you can imagine about? And she said I don't know. She's a murderer Yes. And she was She was a serial killer. and she got off, she killed two people, got off in a technicality served a year in prison, roaming the world. So they emailed her and said, we've Googled you. they never heard from her again. And then Peter told this story idly to Stephen on holiday who they just went, can I have that? And then in the story, of course, they're basically too English to say no. Yes. And they' a thing goes wrong from there. That's fantastic. And that is that going just is that running tontpron and then that's it or will that I mean, it's hard to know the current climate, as they say. I mean there's certainly current cast count continue. So but ideally, you know it would be great if it ran for longer, but it's about getting a there, finding the right cast, etcetera. But hopefully, if it's not immediate, maybe it'll come back But I did hear an amazing story the other day. I'm sure she's tell you this song and to tellilly Someone I know who knows Susan Hill, who wrote The womoman in Black. Yeah Now, the stage show of the womoman of Black quest have you seen? No, I haven't. You should. It's brilliant. brilliant. It's so simple and it was written as a stopgap in the summer of nineteen eighty nine and all they had was two actors It's like, this willll be easy And it has run for thirty three years. It's every producer's dream of how to, you know, you know it costs nothing, it's brilliant, it's incredibly effective And they're finally it's finally coming off the Fortune Theatre and going on tour And this my friend who knows Hill said, she's really furious about it. And he said, Susan It's run for thirty three fucking years. And it was supposed to last for about two weeks. So she's done fine out of that. Yes. So maybe thirty three years of the O friend would be great And Is how was it directing Reese in this was like great. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's an interesting dynamic with someone you've known so long and work with in a different capacity. I suppose you just have to you know. run the room and go for it. I mean, there's a certain amount of, I mean, he's he's an absolute genius, comic genius. so He's come up with some amazing stuff and it continues to grow sometimes a little too much, you know, but there's a I saw it a couple of weeks ago and There's a whole sequence where he has to He has to go his la to knock on a toilet door to speak to somebody. And he just built in this fantastic new thing where he sort of rehearses it. because he can't bear to say it And it it's just come out of nowhere, So it's been yeah great fun actually, I have to say. and also lovely to spend time with him. I mean, It's funny in the last couple of years is I didn't inside number nine and then The unfriend and u something And then Steve and Reese and I did good omens in Scotland. We actually suddenly did loads together again after years and was it was really good fun. Is that okay? Is it you know, it's kind of interesting the way it's fractured and separated off into those two working together a lot and you occasionally popping in Is that is that how is that how you wanted it to go? Is that is that? It wasn't a plan. We just when we in two thousand five we We did a second tour, big tour end the film And then we did have one of those lunches you used to read about in memoirs about what we should do next. And we sort of all wanted to do different stuff, I think. So but you know Obviously it's still very good friends and And we do collaborate. so it's nice. And you know, as a student of comedy That's what I always loved about Monty Python, that, you know that John Clees turned up in ripping yarns and they did each other's films and stuff like. I always thought that was really touching and And something to aspire to, I guess, you. It was a very strong episode. It was waited a long time Yeah. Andess it was the right one. wasn't it? Beuse it was about a reunion. So it was full of ghosts in a way, Was it fun being out on that in that boat? Yeah, although the one I felt for was Diane Morgan because she was fantastic. But you know the three of us together, we just basically talk in a secret language. And you know, you pick up where you left off,'t you? And I think sometimes she looked at us slightly as scanss because we didn what we were talking It was great fun. although Pedalos are really hard They really are so hard. I remember being on holiday as a kid thinking you look like so much fun and then like two minutes in you're going Jesus Christ. Right, I'm going to ask you some AI generated questions. This is the big test. Yeah. It's not the AI has not done so well so far, but let's see if we can win it round. Um What would be a good emergency use for a giant Tberone Um, Home secretary s. U I mean, some of these are better than others. If you had to create a new type of breakfast cereal, what would you call it and what would it contain? I mean, that's quite this is sort of apprentice style question I had a Dishum breakfast the other day you had one? No. Oh, yes, I have one. mean you wouldn't necessily think about having an Indian for breakfast, but it was like it was basically baking an egg, baking a sausage roll with chutney. Yes lovevely. Yeah, I had something there. I can't remember it was, but it was Terrific. Maybe I don't know it's not That's not a cereal, isn't it? No Well, I imagine they've all been thought of. I don't have a curry cereal on a spoon. I think a curry cereal you might be onto something. I wouldn't do that. Vindaloo. A cere? An missing cereals there Cereal crops. Oh, cereal crops. I've thought of one but I can't say. Why? Well it would be awful. Well there is indeed no rape, serereial. You see? That's unfortunate for here Rpe that it's got that ler A Vindeloo brand, come that would bees very good. It could be the cause of effect. All right, we've got it. I see we're doing well. All right, there might be some improvisation in this. If you were to give a cat a human voice What would it sound like if it sang the national anthem? I don't know if that's a different national anthem, if that's the CAat N national anthem you have to make up. or whether they're sing in God's saave the king. What voice would it have Well, if he's got a human voice, it's not Very strange. Very strange. I'll do one more with see. We'll see How many episodes is this? This is an episode four hundred thirty seven maybe the end. Some of these because then I went to make them more complicated. so I got a few. So what do you put into it then? Well, I'd really just put wr an emergency question in the style of Richard Herring and that kind of worked quite a lot. Th then I said wr complex one I don't see what this is. If a monkey had a magic wand and the ability to cast spells, could they use it to create a portal to a parallanel dimension? they would then be able to control the inhabitants of that dimension, O would they be subject to the whim of the magical creatures of that dimension What do you think It seems like aty yes or no question think we should I don't think we should give monkeys that power. And I don't think they should be in control. Do you believe in the multiverse,? Well I thought You know, annoyingly, I tried to write a sitcom about this a few years ago that was good, I thought. U and then and it was called Ething happens for no reason And then the Oscar winning film. yeah yeah. with almost the same name. Yeah. but Channel four wouldn't do this everyone loved it apart from the one person who had to decide whether it to. That's because you need Richard O'Sullivan Mike Yarwood. I get have well theyre an alternate universe That's what they're doing. Somewhere. they're doing it. I don't know if I do because my problem with it is They even if the, even if there's infinite amount of multiverses I think there could be an infinite number of different you know infinity has different values, doesn't it Be you can say there's an infinite number of numbers, there's an infinite number odd numbers, the inf number of even numbers, but there's obviously Youre sort of h It sort of doesn't make sense. It s doesn't make sense, doesn't it? Because there's obviously double the amount of numbers If you have both here? What What I'm saying is Well I'm saying because I think there's an infinite number you know, I think we could have an infinite number of universes and you and I don't crop up in any more than. Oh yeah I think it's interesting. I talked to a physicists wantce about and about quantum theory, et cetera. you know, does everyone do you believe it. And he went, Yeahah, of course, but he said, you can't go to work thinking about it because you becausecause you wouldn't get through the day. It's so it's such a headfight. Yeah that you you just have to go, well, this is our one In a way, it' sort of it does explain an awful lot of things which are inexplicable like ghosts and things or time tracks and that sort of stuff. If You know, it seems to be easible It does, but then there's because I you know I found it all too tooat. I didn have a book that tried to make quantum physics bit more. understandable, it wasn't , But there's there's a possibility of like eleven or twelve dimensions. there's a possibility that we are just the shadow of the thing It's exhausting. It is the fifth dimension. We don't know what it is, so we could just be the byproduct of something else happening that we. Do you remember that time that when a brief history of time was and people actually I remember people on the tube go right j this and they're like two pages in going What? It's not popular science. It's really difficult science Ites is hard. It is too hard. but I think But when you really get into it, it might as well be religion. It's so fucking insane. It might as well be relig. It might as well be a religion because it's more mad than any religion Probably will be. Yeah, good. U good we sorted that out. So you're doing this, you're doing the national Theatre What' What's the play' the different play play by a new play by Jack Thorne directed by Sam Menders called the motive and the cue and it's about Richard Burton's Hamlet on Broadway in nineteen sixty four, which John Gilgood directed. it was. It's a very it's a lovely, very touching play, but I didn't really know anything about this production, but it was it's a huge success. But a sort of personal disaster for both of them. Right. Because Burton hero worshiped Gilga, but it didn't work. didn't didn't gel And it's basically all about that. It's about it's about, you know, why why we do it, why we do Art Mu theatre. Yes. It's really lovely. and And Tupp's Middleson placeays is Taylor. who is the sort of go between between the two of them. So yeah, it's lovely Weird name in it Tuppance Middleson Gam I call her twoupee. She's from u someomeoneere in Bristol, I think is she originally? Dan? ' first you're the expert of the lady. I'd only know that because I did aig in Bristol. think I did one of these in Bristol and she came up as a local resident Find it funny, Ts It's a nice name. It's a nice well, is it? Yeah, it is A little by let's call it Tuppence. It's also the name for China, isn't it Is it? Yeah. You're the expert on the labor. The reputation procedure is is it I think like it's a childish name for you could say a lot of the topics That's fine top's got a top You say that, Dick.. Yeah hering, that could be something else. I would Michael McDy was the first person to point out in my entire life that my name is Dick Hurring It took Michael McIntyre two thousand seven just before wasas launched a startu, I think that was the moment. That's much bluer than his usual material But isn't that weird that I never that never occurred to me or the many people who've tried to make jokes about my name. And so that's where Michael McIntyre's genius is. He managed to take that down to the three parts and make it a b c. The National theatre you're also working on a is it a plague the way old friends do? which is that's the oneess about I saw a little lad popped up on Instagram for that one. That's written by my husband and I directed that. That's just finished Birmingham Rep is now on tour. Weelome to London next week.. It's about the world's first Abber Tribute band in Drag It's not a true story. It's about two old school friends who meets up again in middle age and They had a kind of triggering experience as kids when they did some al songs at school, it went very badly wrong have the idea to to fill unnecessary gap by doing an ab attribute ban in drag, which amazingly, no one has done's not been thought of. Right. Yeah.. And sort of that's become Not quite topical, but the drag sort of strange, isn't it? Yeah, very strange. So strange also it's sort of Drag is like the victim of its own success because it hadn't gone so mainstream because of Ru Paul I don't think It would be no ammunition in the culture war the way it is. No's I was just saying she wasn't It's now as of yesterday, illegal to do drag in in Connecticut, I sort it's the beginning of something It's just so terrifying as that Johon Stewart interview pointed out, he's like, the problem is guns, it's not lipstick. It's just astonishing how mad America has got. you know We're going to get our pound shop version of it. Yes. and it already are, I think. The way the way that certain things are being used to to to are being weaponized in this sort of phony war. Yeah, well, it's artificial you know it' it's It's artificial outrage. Yeah. I' making a problem that isn't there sureurely. I mean, it's not there are actual problems Yeah ye. veryy big ones. Yeah. so it's a distract distraction thing, but it's also sort of going What, you know, what if People in drag drag went into schools and started having sex with each other Yeah, which isn't what drags. And then and then o that's what's happening. Yeah. So there's so much of that, isn't it? Is's a confirmation bias that The idea is floated And then people You know, my father in law will then repeat it back to you because the Daily Express says it's actually happening. Yes. And then you get this extraordinary vicious circle of self belief and confirmation is going, you know, you know, the mythical they Yes. I see they're doing they've banned this now and you go. they haven't they haven't. whoever they are, they haven't, but he they he they believes it And u And then you cannot break that. It becomes a matter of faith, that's a thing. It's weird. It's back to religion. It's a source of zealotry, isn't it? I think like Brexit, it's like a despite all the evidence it is a question of faith and they would rather Die than say opposite Yeah. Do you feel it's I mean, is that a big portion? it is it like well they're in the fucking government. They're in charge of us. So yes, we're afraid so. I mean you read those polls every day about how much that's dwindling and how people are want to rejoin etcetera. But Unfortunately, the ruling The partarty doesn't want to engage with that, and not as the opposition. So we are living in a gas filled world of misinformation and I did some of it, just, you know, Jesus Christ was soon out the other day with his Northern Ireland acccord, his Windsor agreement, notothing to do with the king, but called by his name. And he actually stood there and said This is amazing. It gives the Irish people all the advantages of the of the free market. And you're going, I mean, the smell of gas was overpowering. It's like, how can you do that with a straight face? Yeah, Jesus God Do you think it will, you know is it a period of madness or do you think it will deflate and go away? or people will someone sensible take over? I think sort things out for. My personal feeling is that what will happen is It will become the settled idea that it was a terrible idea, but no one will ever actually say it. It'll just be quietly, Yeahah, we shouldn't have done that. But why which time the economic and damage is absolutely off the chart. But then I don't know, honestly, to sound like a Daily Express leader. I don't know what's happened to this guy. The fact that we are just cheerfully filling our drinking water with excrement and no one seems well, apart from Fergl Sharky, who saw that coming? is able to do anything about it. It's just mad.'s we' spiraling into madness and I don't I'm a natural optimist, but it's taken a hit, I have to say Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, but that's so in the course of It's interesting with the Larry Grayson thing, which is which sort of comes up in the piece is Larry Grayson is surprised that, you know, like the younger generation in the nineteen seventies eight they're able to like hold hands hold hands and showed affection. Sorta doesn't like it. But But you know, we've moved on a long way from there U I I I mean, I hope it won't pull back Well that's the danger, you know, we imagine progress just keeps progressing and In fact, there are you know, constant could back pedaling, you know, or You just think, Oh, well you know that Guinely, this country God At the time of the Olympics, I think there was a genal and genuine feeling that we were in a good place. Something good was happening. The Olympics was a massive success. We felt forward looking Um David Cameron was Prime Minister but it was okay. He was pretty progressive And Jesus, how ten years later, it's unbelievable unrecognizable. and there's so much of it is tootally unnecessary. It's just manufactured outrage and Belligerence and nastiness and people like Soueella Bravman fuck me. What is she? She makes Peta Patel look nice I mean, she's barely human. She's just She's just evil. And it's nastiness for the sake of it.. Thesa May famously said people still think of us as the nasty party. They're going, Well, you should look at it in the future. Gosh, it's gotone very political, hasn't it? Qite excing Well, I was going to move on to Game of Thrones, which I'm not sure is to say It was gonna change the subject But you got to be in a few episodes of that. Yes, Yes. was that was that you know, it's it's a lovely career you have It seems to be All of you legal gentlemen guys have very nice things going on. Yes.s lovely. It's all been lovely. But I get to do you know wrriting, directing, acting, and then you can crop up in a blockbuster. Well it was I mean that was ition for it in one of those ways, I about four or five episodes, I think, but I didn't really I knew of it, but I didn't I hadn't seen it or anything like that. and I've hardly seen it at all. It's not and At the time people would bombard me with questions. and I had no idea what they were talking about. I said this before, but I always Growing up loving Dror Who, I always loved reading interviews with old actors who'd been in it in the past who had very sketchy recollection. but they'd always say things like I didn't know what it was on I was talking about but it was such a fun They remember the pubs and things like that. And I sort of always wanted to have to be in something that was like that for me where I had no stake in it. And thrones was like that. I just people would ask me who should be on the islands the Iron throne and u me just randomly or I'd remember a name from the scene and just pluck it out Yeah but it was great fun. I went to Croatia for one of them, which was delightful But it was just it's funny to be And the fringes of something that massive you know, because you don't really have Id say you don't have a stake in it the same way. Yeah. And on IMDB which is not always correct, it says you're going to be in Mission Imossible. Yes I'm in Mission Impossible. Have you filmed that already? I've done, yes. So it'ss seven and eight. Okay, which but it's parts one and two. Its like Harry Potter? Yeah. ye. It's called deead Reckoning. Mission Imossible, deead Reckoning partarts one and two, I've done yes You've done and you've done f the film them both. Well.. I've definitely finished the first Okay because that's coming out in the summer The second one I did a month on last year and I think there'll be more because it's basically in a state of constant production. Be they have more money than anyone in the world. but it just rolls on. It's an absolutely extraordinary experience. Brilliant, but kind of Mind blowing because it's so vast, you know? Yeah And Simon Peg still in. I mean, so that's, you know, the nineteen nineties Yeah in comedy scene.' well represented. It is turnurning up in Yeah. it's sort of, you know, I think we' some like It Simon and Peter Servinovich you end up being in sort of Star Wars after I've just started watching Star Wars with my son who calls Darth Vader Dark Vader, which I think is a better That's good. That's.. And you know, and similarly, you know, our generation would have watched that, not quite at his age, but you know and then to end up being in those films Yeah, it's wonderful. But it's also it's sometimes quite strange because you're sort of looking at yourself as an eight year old thinking, what would that be like? but also you're not that age, you know, so I always said this when when when I was in finally in Doctor Who, it was It was strange because I know David Tennant for years and I knew I was already writing on the show. So in a way, just sitting in that trailer was like another job and then then suddenly I just got this kind of absolute ang of Saturday nightness and it was like, you know But it is I'm sure I mean Simon feels the same. I know it's quite weird actually to think this is actually happening now And is it just so I mean I can't imagine sort of being thrown into that world and being presumably alongside Tom Cruise and acting alongside Tom Cruise, is that Are you at the point now that It seems normal and it doesn't affect you or because I'd just be going fuck you your Tom Cruise. Well we in the scene and he'd go That's probably spiled that scene. I'm not actually Tom Cruise in that. They just do retake. No, the really odd thing about that is that he He's there all the time. So you Very, very generous and funny and available, but he's there all the time. So you do get used to it And then every now and then I would just I'd literally catch in the corner of my ees go Be it's like a poster Yeah is in front of you and, you know, he's Um He's little and he's years older than me, but he's been around all my movie going life for years. It's just an extraordinary thing So Yeah, the answer is yes or no. Yeah. You kind of get used to it and then occasionally you just go, this is absolutely insafe. And do you feel the need to do your own stunts once you see him? Yeah yeah flying offord. I've saw quite a long clip of him building up to I don't know if this is in this film I've never actually watched any of the. Are they really good? Sh they? But goes he flies off a cliff on a motorcycle and then parachutes down. I'll tell the story So the script is Al a work of progress Everyone was terrified and we hadn't we only got like a few pages the day before But it was quite complicated stuff And u turnurn up like a friend ofine Indirvama was in in the first one I didn't realize. we saw each other across the room and she just went We sort of clung to each other But we were desperately trying to cram all this technical stuff into our heads And then Tom showed us this video of him doing the stunt where he drives a motorbike off a Norwegian fjord. seven times. And the video shows he trained for a year And you just watch, and then you think, maybe I can remember those words But my God, I mean it's incredible. And I said to Chris McCary, the director didn't you know, didn't Studios wouldn't allow their lead to do the studs. He said, you try and stop him. It's incredible. I mean he knows no fear. There's another video you might have seen, I think it was a Christmas time where he wishes everyone happy holidays Virtually basically from the stratosphere. see you can see space above him and then he just falls back Absolutely he must be missing that, you know, that nerve, the fear. It's incredible. do that. Talking of working with impressive people though. Now when you were on, which we did talk about last time, you were on This morning of Rich Not Judy, you played Do Greg Egan, Greg Ey Yeah I don't know if you've worked with. I made this. I don't know if you worked with Greg, I was watching my two dads the other day. Is he still alive? I think he is. I think he is The other dad did better, of course, the other dad was Paul Riser, I think, wasn't it? Oh, that's right. Yeah was in alien and many other things just been in is that u The sitcom is in has been cancellled But it was really good and never mind It's got key or peal in it, one of those. Right You've worked with you played Anthony Hopkins in the sketch that we wrote about him writing letters to various co stars. And each time there were It' sort of Forbiden romance that was building up. He four Ch Cross Road. Yeah Mid four Chanross Road and the one where he was a butler, what was that one called? Remains of the day. Remains of the day. And each time he would end the letter. Y Yes. I am wanking Yes I've never forgotten him. You you finally finally got to work with Anthony Hopkins himself on The father Did this come up? Yes, He brought it up. No, I didn't I might. yet. He emails me a lot, essentially. So I might does he ever end PSI wake He has yet to do so. I they might remind him of. The beauty of L and Harry sketches is no one really is aware of it. The lucky thing is that if that become very successful and you become known as By Hopkins Wing, I probably would have made it C come to my attention. do you think you would find it he got a good choice? Yes He' very funny man He was everything you wanted to be really. Yeah just. I mean, he very quickly realized that I'd seen everything he'd ever done. I go Jesus Christ, you haven't seen that one everwhere. But and then I just make him do all my favorite stories, you know, which is He just brilliant one I read it somewhere years ago about It was about not being overawed, really?. And he was in a production of the Country Wife in the West End His mum and dad were coming to see it and Olivier suddenly rang and said, I'm coming tonight And he sweated coobbs about about his parents and Olivier being in the same dressing room. and they came round and Olivier came round, and then his dad is talking to Olivia about football in the corner And he was like chewing his nails and just like, oh, and eventually Oliviia made his excuses and went and he said, Dara Lord Olivier and his dad said Wh he breathes air, doesn't he? That's goodt now? Yeah And it's Yeah, he's full of wonderful wisdom and justust everything in want that ammazing Welsh voice and such a lineage and it was it was just brilliant. And then I said to him It was Reese's birthday I said my friend is obsessed with magic, the film made with the Invent of Kristomy I said, you wouldn't do a message. he said, I'll do it if you like. So he did the whole routine. You know, he goes A he does that. He does it the ey is rolling Sweetness we have liive at last it did everything Yeah. was beside himself. And you know, he just loves doing funny voices and stories. So yeah he was great That's terrific. It's very nice to hear. Then he cracked it all off Yeah I acted up I thought It's all true U Well, is there anything else that's coming up that I don't know about or is that do? I mean, you've got a lot of stuff going on know, it's been a lot you know, weirdly, a lot of it is COVID related in the sense of backlog things Yes. I did the unfriend last year was meant to be two years before and so Some of it is cumulative really. but I was saying to you earlier, peopleople always say to, Well, you're so busy. And then I did Alan Titchmar' show the other day and The researcher was obsessed with fear of Fanny, the thing I did with Julia Davis years ago about Fanny Credter and they showed a clip. There were two questions. I said, well, if you don't ask me about things I did twenty years ago, we might have time to finish this interview. Well, we've hopefully got most currently footballererss wives a little bit of the old stuff in. It's always absolutely fantastic to have you This eight and a half years ago and now and in eight and a half years time, which will be what do that be What year is that? That's like twenty thirty. One, w We can't leave it that long. Okay, we'll come back before. We'll get you guys. It'ining Reese was on recently again. he was in very fine form, I have to say Again, he's been on twice. Yeah, he's done it twice. Steve's only done it once. Well interestnteresting. What about Jeremy Jeremy's never done it Mame on. I mean see you need new people. knew blood. New blood, didn't? Thank you. Doid you watch Portrait Aris of the Year and Sky? I haven't no It's one of my favorite shows, but it's interesting how often they get people back. And I feel a bit disappointed by that. They're running out of artists really Yeah