Henry Hippo as the New Doctor

Hi Rat fans. Thankks for downloading the podcast. Thanks to everyone who came to the Droit Witch and St. Alban's gigs, which were fantastic. Look the big news is coming up we're at the Edinburgh fringe doing Rhllistterur From the fifth of August to the sixteenth of August, there's two shows on the eighth and ninth. They're all at St three except for those later shows at five thirty which are at W Edinburgh, which is another stand venue. The regular shows at two o'clock. tickets are available go to richchain d. com slash rllustter p And book now, especially if you want to come on the weekends where tickets are selling fast I am going to start booking guests this week and you'll be able to see The confirmed guests on that website as well. So book ahead It's lots of fun. We had loads of fun last year we should be creating Enough podcasts to see us through to the end of the year. After that, what's gonna to happen Sure, my find friends sure Anyway, sit back, relax, Enjoy another episode Of whatever Flickking podcast you're listening to. On SBC two now, Jim will Fix Jim will Fix it in which Jimmy Savill is brought back to life and promises to be good this time. The BBC paid for him to travel back in time to try and fix the mess the corporation created when it put a very creepy man who some would say looked like an obvious pedo and necrophile in charge of a show that grants children's wishes Unfortunately, trusting an unrepentant zombie time travelling Jimmy Savill to do this is another huge error of judgment from the BBC, which puts the licence fee in question as all he does is team up with his younger self to cause even more problems for the corporation. and then the BBC decide to send back Gary Glitter. Oh BBC, when will you learn What will you learn Anyway, on SPC one now is' Richard All' Craving user who cares Oh fucking out hello my friends. you right, Rich? Yeah. I'm I'm just I was wrong. I did a gig on Sunday. It's Tuesday. I know I'm still very tired I' not real I sort of shouted a lot. I' forgot about warming up my voice. It's a long time since I've done stand up like a long stand upset. I did two shows. I'm an old man You know, it was it was Is that why we didn't turn I was too tired yesterday had to go to bed yesterday. How did John Craven manage to do? I don't think John Craven ever did sand outge in the evening, so that's probably how he managed to do it So yeah, look, I'm knkered. I don't want to do this. you don't want to watch it. Let's just fill fulfill our contractual ambition. is there a there' obligation, I think you need, okay, sorry, for speaking mister fucking genius, you know all the words too? Well, I knew the word that you didn't know there. I don't know how. Um Is there a contract for this is what I was going to say. There is no contract But I'm hoping if it goes well, people see what I'm capable of yeah Are you not worried that people will see what you're capable of? and think let's not ever I work with that guy again. he's weird. I don't think I think they Weird why for what? Well, for talking to inanent objects and making them spe I dont do how do I you you can't. You're a real little man, I knew that my great granddad gave me y, and you're speaking yourself, Yes, of course I'm winking at it andan cheeking kn as out U I can just, you know, look it's you can't be this down the you got to in show business, Rich. you got to pretend it's all tits and teeth inn't it? Well a lot of it's a lot of There's a lot of tits that's true in show business. Yeah. I mean, but in every sense, actually, that's a brilliant joke Is it? Yeah. Okay, I'll trust you on that Um youve got to pretend you're in In show this when you're deing L, you're not allowed to show theo You have to do what you have to do even if it's climbing up a church steple and locking around doing jokes and they can be the laath and then going in the bath Some of them what That show g Tovis is jocking around making it the laugh and then go in the darkest s of them An K Niicha the private This isn't part of show business. It really is one as a piece of show business I've missed out on That's what show this is It's all good fun and loarks I'm Chickinee That's a new theme tune for the show Rich. I'm Chickinee I'm Chickiny I look at the cheeky everyday and Wh are you so jolly? because I haven't been tired out doing gigs Well it's annoying for me. I I'm tired I don't want to do this. I don't want to let down My millions of viewers, they don't seem to have noticed the other on for a while. Well, they're probably sad. Let me on for about. I't let them down so I'm here doing it Do the best I can. My voice is going. I'm tired Dontry, I've got to go town to do a job. Ohooy dude that your job? Yes. Oh is it TV It is a TV thing. It's an unbroadcast. pilot of something. Oh they got you into the underworld Cross the timeel show, Rich? Yeah. Do you think you'll be in the series? No? I don't think I will be justus lookook, I need the money Dune's going to be a tough month for me waiting to hear about certain things. I won't very do too much work this month. so it's nice to have' got some work in the beginning of the month I've done Droit which done Ob doinguring this That might be enough to see my family through These difficult few weeks I'll fucking stop laying on your fine. None of these people are out there have a fucking house. Well, I don't have a house, my nationwide have a house, don't they can take back any time they want. Well that's timee Anyway, what's all this going on That's just do do some slain trases. Yeah Cheer, just bring you're bringing joy into people's lives. They don't want to know that your life is falling apart you you know, you're in then approaching your sixties His body is disintegrating in front of his eyes. might not end up with The same end with organs as they started the decade with or I definitely won't have ever lost one organ And they want to just forget about their wes, forget about the prospect of nuclear war and fascism taking over the world. They just want some fun you to look at the news Find a funny story about cocks. That's not all I do and then talk about Willies. No, that's not all I do or balls nerves I don't haveperm. Well, it's embarrassing because that's this one is about actually But it you know, that's just coincidence And you know, and they want you to say thank you, Nariyati and that's all they want. I don't want me to look them We're not just We can't just keep churning out same phrases and hope one of them becomes a t shirt that people can wear Imagine it takes a lot of thank you Noriarti to share itich y. and then They saw someone else coming down without thanking Mariarti T shirt No people wouldn't know what the hell was going on. That's true. but the people who did understand imagine how hey they'd be to see another nerd with a beard and a bey belly We're wearing a t shirt? Sh we get any small and medium sized ones weight? I don't think there's any need for it Well we'll see. If you want a thank you Mariarti T shirt, just leave a comment in the In literally, you just say than you, Mariati, can't they just make themselves? They no they couldn't rich. They wouldn't do that to you. That's your intellectual property. I mean, is it intellectual? It's your property rich It's my property A actually I came up with there last year. you did come up with it. so I don't steal my ideas If you want to teach it a thank you Mariat Tunk f can make it yourself, that would be the worst thing you could do I mean, there's we w' Look, what's got? I can look down in your notes this week. you put Jim will fix it and sperm. That's all that's on the list this week Yeah. So shall we get onto the sperm? the characters is Just coinccently it is about bat sperm Today, that's all that's all getet it the soop saying stuff sit on it rather. Stop saying stuff. I think I feel I've forgotten What you're talking about Winston Churchill. You'm just going to keep on I'm going to keep changing that until I get the you're talking about Bruce Wwillis. I mean, that's inside suicac he's is Prat's got some troubles But you're talking about Yeah Bob Willis. Bob Willis, Yeahah the cricketer. Well you're talking about Bob Willis Yeah. This is like Ivon Gulag Gong all over again. whoun g gula gong Don't change it round the other way. Ivon Dulagong. It's Ivon Gulagong. You don't have to change that to Yvon Bouagong Bob Willis Gob Willis. You can say Bob D dot dot dot dot No Prom with the throat Rich. Yeah. I' told you I've a sore throat I'm tired I don't want to do this. I don't want to do it anymore. You gott to do it, Rich This is your chance This is your last jance to takeig your away out of this thing. You can do it. All right, we'll good We've gott to get this into five minutes though, Ali We've done nine minutes already, that's a problem. Okay, let's go on. Well, you may have seen this is a surprise for you on the grown upp news that there's a lab grown sperm giving a chance for Infertile men to have children then, which is good news for all those men out there. un'm lucky enough not to be able to have children. You know, I think Having had two children over the last eleven Yes and all the joy it's brought me, I would, you know, and how it's turned my hair from brown to grreay. I'm glad that that is now going to be available to men who can't produce playerm of their own They'll get that and not but having to wake up at six I've woken up at probably six five thirty six o'clock almost every day for the last eleven years. Look at what it's done to me My body is Radle. I've lost the testicle Now everyone will have that opportunity. Well, you could use it, couldn't you? I've still got one perfectly functioning ball,t there any sperm coming out? I mean, you know, there are many things that happen as you get into an older man and I'm not convinced they tiny amount of whatever fluid it is that comes out the end of my old Hring eye If it can get that far, you know it crawls up the herring's eye sometimes and then just goes back down like a snail Time to escape a well. But sometimes a little bit comes out, but it's not that much. I'm not sure it's enough to impregnate anyone. So yeah, maybe for me as well, this is nice, is nice And it's a nice story that men who have problems producing children will now have a chance to produce childildren those wonderful gift people can have and then if you don't like it guys, it's easy just, you know, you can just fuck off. So that's, you know, that's That's the advantage of being a man. Richard, don't you see what's happening in this new story? What? Don't you realize what this means? if women can create sperm just from Sout stemstells in's testicles Then they'll come a point they don't need any. This is just the first step Wen taken over the world, humanity becoming a female only species is be terrible. I'm not sure it will be times but I think the world might be better If it is just women, you know, so I don't think that's necessarily a terrible. the or the rich or that then then we O only function in this society is to produce millions of sperm every fucking second of the day and then keep the keep the then Species the what the species going. You' trying to think of a different word of species there so you' say a p note I couldn't go the word species Well,' never go got me I couldn't give a word you had to go me. Well, I'm a very older man and much older than you So don't let it happen guys. If the if women wanted to do without men all they have to do, it would take like one day If women just collected the sperm of every man in one day. I mean, it wouldn't even be every man They just went aroundound going, o guys, we just need some of your sperm. I'm happy to get it for. you putting a little test tube, sending that off to a laboratory. They would have like trillions and trillions, like the almost infinite number of sperm. just keep that in a fridge and then they get rid of us. they can just do it, do us all in and then Just keep on having children If it's a boy child, leave it on the hillside. If it's a girl, raise it and then just keep using those sperm. You don't need to go to the trouble of creating sperm cells out of stem cells inside testicles, just keep the sperm' readily available. If you run out Just let one or two of the men grow up into men, then get their harvest their sperm. and then get rid of them, carry on could be a female, it wouldd be a brave new world with only women in it The women control this world. I don'm sure they do. Well, they will If this happens and I'm all for it. think it's time for It's time to get rid of all the men. No I don't think that's true. and let's Just move on to a beautiful future where men At best, I just chained up in a basement and then milked we if we if they run if they ever run out of this limitless supply men haven't thought this through. Eventually if that happens, I guess humans will just evolve to be only women And then they can still just make sperm out of their own stem cells if they want to. if they ever were to run out of this limitless Supply of gam meet So we don't need to do this. Just get on with that girls We know you've been planning it Have you gone insane? I think maybe I've gone insane. You know, I'm very tired Well, you know, that's not an excuse for it you've got to come out here Tits and teeth Have you got a report it yam inor I've got like a background of some sperm and I haven't really thought which reportter we can the benefit of doing it is a witch reportter we because then give it goich. You know, the thing is it mightightly funny. might I don't come Jizo I shouldn't be wasting my time doing this. I feel there's something better out there for me. There isn't rich. you're nearly sixty This is this is it for the rest of youre I just thought when I started comedy, it felt like I was going somewhere. it felt like I was leading somewhere. I felt like one day My moment will come. It hasn't know is it, it hasn't come and it's not going know is it Well, there's still time no You're right hundred and thirty four, you know, you were in a box for a long time and then suddenly in the last Five, six years, you've got like a lot more prominence have you had? Yeah, I'm good, Rich, That's the difference. I'm funny and a you think and can come that stuff off the cathener and then the words. and I enunciate there other I you still got to slop the prunciation, Richard. I' that sloppy originate intntunation Nonunciation. I haven't got slop enununation You can't even say annunciation, it's just the problem I am skilled and that is why even at the age of one hundred and thirty one, thirty two, whatever was when this started, I one hundred and twenty eight mill dollars caron and then very old. unci it and thenunciating, fine, than you. Sound like you got a bit of a soreroat. No, that's you. Yeah. you know, I got a chance and I got infinity years ahead of me, whereas you I don't know. I would I think you've probably got five years next to work N that. What You know to retirement? Well, in no way it's retirement. It's a very long You get to have a very long sleep rich. That's oh, I'd love that. You get Very long sleep. Well, I'd love a very long sleep. You don't understand why I'm talking there do very long sleep but something I had would really probably help this make me feel a bit more chipper Jo and got someone to decide he's going to the interview. They we're interviewed someomeone's going this someone going to is a reporter There in some sperm. Why is the sperm not moving? I guess the camera' just moving at the same rate as the sperm Let's see who the who the world do you think Henry Hippo might be the Henry Hippo. think it might be the robot. might you think it might be Marmite Lid Print Andrew in the sperm, that might be good. ye Who's it going to be? I don't know it's just I be me. I can't be you. you're here This is We've obviously shrunk down one of our reports to the size like a couple of sperm is swimming or she there's shes are there's could be Sally Slop yeah, it could be at predicts the future. What's happening U Should I tell you? I've forgotten the next civil? okay, Mam I'd forgotten the name, but you remember the name well done Sple hasn't been in this first Well, you know, there's a whole catelcade of characters. couldould it be loonybird? could the loybird could be in there. J want attacking the sperm. Yeah, it'd be fun Let's see who it is Hello, It's me cocky cararrot. Woo I've been shruned down to the size of some sperm. Cocky Crot. very I wonder why you hadn't appeared in the studio because here is it whose testicles are you inside testicles? A you in a test tube? Oh I'm inside Bob Willis's testicle, Richard. inside Bob Willis' The ex footballer Grandstandam present note. was he he was a cricketer? You a dad. Bob Willis was a cricketer Isn't it Bob? who am I thinking of? Isn't Bob Willis from football focused? No I think Bob Willis was a vola Is he still alive? Well, it looks like this Looks like he's firm, a bit a bit Lapy Anyway, what you got to say Gockar, I imagine there's and doubleantendre fun to have in there. Well, Rid here I am In a testicle, did someone say here? like you hear someone having sex W I mean, has it come to this a c a penis shaped carrot? Yeah came we got because there was a New story about someone who' found a cat that looked like a penis six years ago. yeep is now in some sperm in the Testical of a possibly dead. we think cricketer but now we're thinking maybe it was a football. It was the goal What was the goalkeeper called It was on football focused. That wasn't Bob earliis he was called Bob I can't remember res setettinging. You can't remember I it now I can't remember Bob Champion, No, he was the one testic called horse rider. He had testicular cancer as well. I've interviewed him Pobulist And u Yeah, the grandstone guy who is he lovely knowan Is this entertainment? I think so And there's just a venus why are you moving right? Sorry, I thought I was thenentitising you There's just a carrot that looks like a penis in some sperm failing to do doulantendres, even though it's literally an open goal. didid some that is say open goal like a bottom. a bottom isn't an open now Right, look, we're going to go back to the student. This hasn't worked out today You know, they can't all be gold Cy the gold? I've got my glasses. I can't even see where there it is Um Hope you've enjoyed the news that Surn based news. hope you're there on this on the pilight you going. they're going to accept more than this rich Yeah, I've got to go actually I got to have a shower you don't think you could have had a shower before this Well, you know, I thinking if There's a big celebrity iss gonna be this thing so sh Well, what happening? I' gott sit here sniff in your fucking dirty crutch Y areuits your pist stained underparents. I not piss stain occasionally a couple of dribbles will go and I'm an old man. I can't help it. I'm an old man and not c apis He smell of kind of rotting for the stuff well. People don't need to know that. Allright, let's go. Thanks for watching I will be better tomorrow. Thank you, Mariati. don't start saying it's not you're going to put people off there. Fuck, you know? On SPC two now, Joseph and the amazing multicolored swap shop Unpopular show off Joseph from Off of the Bible comes on the first episode of Swaphop to interpret the future of the presenters via their dreams. He predicts that Noel Edmunds will kill a man, Cheggers will go alco pop. Maggie Filbin will remain gorgeous and super smart apart from that time where she chooses to marry Cheggers for some reason. John Craven will end up on some file of cunts and pososhpaws will die in a skip here on SPC Woo. It's definitely not Joseph from the amazing Multtiold Sap shop It's Rich and Ally's Craven Ns around I think it's called Oh, it's ks so tied. Oh yes Hello, it's Wednesday third of june twenty six. I'm Richry this is Alie Slopper A G me Sorry, sorry, I think you get it until we can get it Where's your thing on And still get it this one Yeahes,s Chiini. Thank you Mariyati, the fulling my string. That's al right. Anytime Mariyati, that's al right Thank you handed the Daskvilles, That's not going to catch on. I'm Richard Herring. And said that. and what else do we have to say? I don't know, is your show? We're doing the news and stuff. I'm bit I'm still a bit tired. tired? Yeah, I do d I was in town. I worked again. I was working in town working, you, you're so busy rich Doing a pilot, it was very good yeet for Quiz showow yet? Do you think you'll be in the actual television throwrs? I mean, they would be ruder than what it did ask me to come and do the pilot and then just get bigger a bigger celebrity to do the Yeah, that must be how it works must be hard to get the profper of big clearities too. to do the toilets and then when there's some TV money behind it, then they get in their ruffle ones, right? Gamble. Janes cast Nichkuna. Yeah, those they're all very good guys. All those gr Adi All the little carousel of people who do all of the different shows that you're not on I I c on. E's to be have gone for a little bit Got any moreore though why he' been so mean? I thought he was fun Sometimes you're nice and sometimes you're really horrible and I don't it makes it very confusing to me. as to You know, how to react to because sometimes I think you' my friend He you see and sometimes I think you're just like the trolls I get online. kind of see a picture of me and my wife and M unpleasant comments about me being too old and stuff. you're quite old, shub up It's still a human being. I've still got a heart Leave my family out of this sit on it, thather, I don't leave my family out of it Cheking Yeah, you are cheicky at it. No, you're not you've just been rude I uh What else do I say And a little drunk? ye. I'm going to come to your house and kill you Yeahah, you say that Hm Sit on it Yeah, you've said that already What are you talking about, Winston Churchill? We're going to find the right thing for that eventually We are going to Ohh, son, I'm really. I've got to go pick up the kids from school in the sex. I can't hang around for too long, okay U You know, doing actual work I don't think I don'tin think I'm cut out for it anymore. I No. You're all, You never get tired up doing this, No for some reason This is fine I you imagine it thought you did was do twenty thiscessary days the rest of your life and no other work. att least you wouldn't get tired I wouldn't get tired, I wouldn't get paid A lot of people want to thank you Noriati t shirt. Yeah, they say that when it comes out, two people will buy it will end up at a loss Right You' in afternoon, you're not feeling as sad as just I wasn't sad I was just a bit grumpy. like you know you can't just come in every day and be a ray of light I'm just, you know, I'm tired out. I wake up early the kids waking me up early Y h I'm ill ye supposedly I don't feel ill. Um And, you know, it's we it's No, mister.'s tfted C come and do this, but I love the guys out there and the winning it's all meant I love them. No one else loves them. notot even their mums love them these guys who watch this But I do love them, but not like I don't want to interact with you anyway or talk to you deffinitely don't C come and talk to them after gigs or anything But I love you guys And so I have to I have this is what I do. If I come here and I do this every day, rain or shine. Yeah it often shines, doesn't it nightine night shine up there I' looking up the night shine through the thing the suns coming up through there U Whatever that's going on, I always find time for this For something I'm sort of like Mother Thesa, a horrible bully. Yeah just allegations against it. I w don't know if they're true. U like yeah, I could do I could just go to sleep in now it. Yeah have a little sleep I' it on that. Do you think you're on your own Yeahet then I love asleep you talk with this is that. you may have seen them the Gownup news But Prince Harry has been playing football with one of his children. I think that's news, isn't it? That is news In know you go to sleep o Okay, I'll go sleep You know, I didn't realize how small Prince Harry and his kid were look how tiny they are. They're only just bigger than a football They're very small That's all I I could be on Greay Norton could I could be on if I got news to you? That would that would work as a good a good if I got news to you J, wouldn't it Oh you wake up, what? So I was just to sleep? Yeah. don't actually go to sleep. You said I could go to sleep? Yeah I need you to interact with. so you do need me. I could do one night only if I had do I could do this on my own the because I'm jeegy. Well, thank you Mariarti for for waking me up because that isn't the main new story. Of course, we wouldn't that wouldn't make the main This is something I'm furious about. This is the main news story. coming in today. I hope it's there ye there it is Scooby Doo is being remade again And I can't believe that they finally they put a real dog. in the Netflix live action series. So instead of it being scooby, Scooby dooo. Yeah, they they' They you know, they've done before when it's people being the people. ye But I don't know I just don't know I think Scooby Doo has to stay Looking like sccooby dooo, right does it you know, maybe Maybe I'm old fat Well let me show you what he looks like. This is that's gonna to be S scooby. That's not scooby Dooe. That's a dog. Yeahes S scooby Dooe is a dog. Well, he isn't really a dog. Is he's a sort do Talking monstrosity cartoon thing that can eat big sandwiches They can't turn him into an actual dog. surely that's exactly what they should do. they're turning all the fall into thetals they should turn the dogs into dogs I don't I just, you know, this might be my moment where I, you know, I Turn against the woke crowd ennjoying Allr the people who don't like Haden of Troy being played by clearly the most beautiful woman on the planet because for some reason. there's something about it that they don't like and I can't work how it was. Is Elon Musk said anything about that sill you do? I don't think Elon Musker said anything about this, but surely Something's gone wrong in the world, hasn't it? when a cartoon dog is played by an actual dog dog It's a dog. it shouldn't be played by a dog. That's political correctness has gone mad You know, I've never cared about this stuff before. I don't care if James Bond's a woman and I don't care if James Bond's black I don't care if Helen of Troy, you know is a half swan, half human creature as she should be. whatever. I don't care. but this is too far Scooby Doo is a cartoon dog that looksy. He's not an actual dog and they're destroying my childhood. They're changing things And why do they have to change things? Why don't they make it the same? Well, if it's the same, it's a cutting, they should just st every week It's a cartoon, same opening titles, brilliant song, exactly the same story every week. I've gotten away with it if you your pesky kids, they hardly ever say that rich think they never say pesky kids. Well, whatever It should be the same every week and I can't believe that they're going to have a dog played by a dog He's a real dog. He's probably not even a real dog. They've got a dog played by and you know, An AI dog,n't they? That's not a real. They probably weren't have trained up a real dog to be the dog Is it going go shaggy? Is it going to eat big sandwiches? orr is it just going to sit around lookingic its balls I'm absolutely fuming about this. This is the one. This is the time guys They've gone too far, we have to step in, we have to stop it. sureurely it's up to the story. they could to interpret the stories in their own way. There's no point in returning to old stories like the Odyssey or Scooby do. If you just expect people to do exactly the same that's done with them before, their're new filmmakers, they're new storytellers They have to tell the story for now for a new generation with their own vision And it's ridiculous of you Richard too f whoever is producing the Sooy dot to. conform to your idea what Scooby Doo should be like. I mean, if you were saying, yes, Staphne's got to be a cartoon and Felm has got to be a cartoon, then I think you'd be ono something it. You don't care about that do you? You liked it when it was a movie When I didn't particularly like the movie But I mean, I quite like seeing Velma and Daphne as real people ye You once watch some Sooy little Thorn, didn't you? I did just out of academic interest. Did you academically Is it touching your thenis also t of the academic interest I think if you're going be an academic, you have to immerse yourself in it. And didid you ejaculate to that for? I think that's a very personal , it is a personal question. if you hadn't ejaculated it, you would have needed to go G, G of course not look it's just quite Exciting there were the big monster cocks and stuff and ghost cocks and things you like that I don't want to put in natural scooby doo, but it was just, you know, there was something about it that was that It awakensed something in me, did it? Yeah Is that why you're upset about being a real dog because you can't wanver I don't wan cover actual scooby doo. I look and I was only looked at one porn thing of sccooby Doo and I just Was it you know, was interest in that and film I like foot. Felm is nice and Daphy's nice I want Shaggy and Tred coming in this morning. orr Scooby do or definite not scrappy Doo. D think Scrappy is sccrppy Doo gonna remain? a a cartoon. Yeah, I hope that they if they do this, I hope Srappy do and Stup dude was he a stup stinky dude? Stinky poop It's a stupid one and dumb Scooby dumb. That y get there and sccooby D. I think there's a female one Gooby dumb, yeah is These only in a few episodes of the TV series here It's smarter than Sooby doo. I don't know why Sooy doo is calleding himim Scooby dumb because Scooby dooe Dum can actually talk properly. Amittedly in a sort of slightly I mean, he' says sort of hick character. It's slightly offensive And An the characages are from this South of the south of the United States, I think, you know, it's that it's pretty offensive, but he can forform coherent sentences. So I think it's a bit rich for Scoob doo to call sccooby dum, S scooby dumb and scooby dum. And what is it? Is Scooby the surname or is dum's because scrappy Doo and Scooby doo is when then suddenly it's scooby dumb Is Scooby the Christian name or the surname? I mean the whole thing is all over the place I say just go back to the original Scooby dooby doo where are you that one that Not not come on get involved because the mystery isself thats that's no good. Even that one's no good That one's acceptable but no good. Anything after that should be stopped. Do you do all the thing you today? Yeah I am because you know I feel very strongly about this We should be out there Today they make Scooby doope being played by a real possibly AI animated dog, but just looking more like a real dog That is that is right. Dgs can't tr dogs which they can't we Someone was saying there's no actual Greek people in the Odyssey, which again, you know Some people would say that that everyone should be Greek andestly they're going to stuck complaining about stuff Edon Musk Look at this, Evon Musk That's not Scooby doo, is it? That's just a little dog. It's not even a gl. it's a puppy. It's not even a gl Scooby is massive Not funny if Scoobooy' a small dog. You don't how big that dog is G the well we need Prince Harry then don't we by comparison? Then we'd be able to see how big it was L, judging by the tiles unless the tiles massive. that is a puppy Wh Scooby Doo is not What if a puppy jumps in if Shaggy jumps into the arms of Sooby Doo and it's a puppy's going to crush him, isn't he So or vice versa, whichever way around it, how how will Sooby catch Shaggy? How will sheg catch If it jumps, it won't be anything, if it's just jumping in What if that dog starts humping everyone's legs because it's a real dog? Is it a real dog? I don't Just like this is a step too far. I never thought I'd care about this. I always thought I would think no leeave it to whoever's making. they can do whatever they like. but they've gone too far. they've destroyed my childhood by doing this it's destroyed my childhood. Yeah The whole of my childhood is now ruined, everything ye Because Scoooby D was very important to me and now watch it with my son and now I'm going to watch it with my son and my son's going go Why Scooby do an actual dog rather than a cartoon weird thing? And I won't be able to I mean, you know, I won't be able to say why If he asks why is that? Why is Helen of Troy Black? I'll say because that's the most beaul's the most beautiful woman on the planet and her dad was a swan. It doesn't matter what ethnicity she is. I can cover that. Why is Janes Bond a woman? Because it's the secret servant.'s someone in the secret service, secret servant, and the secret service. it Rich Yeah, I will anonounce it Someone in the secret Service is just that's the number that's given. that could be given to anyone. There are men and women in the Secret Service. James Bond can equally be a woman. Also it's a fantasy character it's fictional And so is the odyssey made up. Scooby Doo is a real historical character He's he looks a good talk He can eat scooby snacks, he can eat big very big sandwiches in one thing and he's grown up, he's not a puppy And he doesn't look like a dog. looks like a funny cartoon L at that face. That's not they're not going to enjoy that are we I just have Scooy doo being a dog D really can I'm not I'm too upset to too do a report from anyone, Ready? Yeah. not I' not interested in we got we've even got a dog character, got a monkey. that's not the same is it to same who's doing which biting you changed overve a robot, that's not the same as it That's it for today and I tell you, if this is still going tomorrow, I'll be very upset. So please get in touch with your local MP say we don't want we want Scooby Doo to stay being a cartoon. E in the films when it bec a bit more three D and didn't look quite right. It was still they were still in the right ballpark This is wrong You've just destroyed and not just my childhood, your childhood Why they Why have they done? It's ruin the whole thing. everything yet. Everything happened to me as a kid now ruined because of scoobyoo So stop changing things, leave things the same as they were when I was young So because it was good When I was young it was good. And the things were all good. Now I'm old and children stuff I find childish. It's really pathetic now when I watch kids stuff. I think this is just not even for me anymore. What's going on Doctror He's not going on Why why they keep changing it? Now I look at it go this is so charging and stupid. But when I was a kid, I loved it, it was aimed at me So same thing Cy day Navy Sccoooby Doo could become Doctor Who and theyre call it Doctor Scoooby Doo who Dctor Sccoby who I don't think that's a good idea. we could do that and I got news to you. We could put that on that's a good enough jject, V we've got news to you the Soobyoo do Gta go pick kids from John Craan never did that did he know Um think we've got mentioned in the opening the continontuity Nancecy y. I think it was a joke of that country file. I'm not sure it' read as that Anyway, thanks for tuning in, I guess Not quite sure what's happen next week. Hopefully we'll be back for the next couple of days. haaving some treatment next week. I'm not sure What my My level of being able to do this well. and mean it got' be anything fucking worse than this can it it's a very light treatment, so we should be okay. But T takeake this next week off it. No, you can't. You can do it on your own. I'll do on my own next week All right Nice to see you all Still tired It's a little bit tired. you want to sing a song? near Dty Wh are you? Y had not. to dugin on that thrend. Sccoooothy doothy doo, what did they do to you The dos at theer and that's quite good. Thank you. than you. than you Gy do C and get involved becausecause the mystery will be solved Who fucked out Scooby de Allright, fuck it l thing bl blah blah. See you next time, whatever On SBC two now, it's bigig wobbling Scoobies in which breakout star of Craven News round Henry Hippo looks as his favorite moments from Scooby Doo, which involve Scooby Doo being so scared that he wobbles around. He's a big wobbling scooby Scoobies. Well there'll be more than ones of big wobbling sccoobies Here on SPC one now. there won't be the biggest star won't be in it. obbviously because he's on SPC two, but there's some other guys in it. It's Richard All's Craven Nshound And then when Rd nose was back, he was back. Yeah, that's rude the contity. It was rude the controuityy now say to do that but you know we're biger than that. we know where this. Oh, he's died Hello, It's Thursday, the eleventh of june twenty twenty six. This is Richard and Iice Craver Newsrom with all the breaking news from all around the world that you need to know about that you may not have heard about on the grown upps news or you might have you you might have heard on the Grown up news But you won't have seen in the lstream media you probably won't have done. I'm Richard Terring. This is Ali Slopper. Thank you Mariati. I Iig me Oh I felt like that broke. I' winking at it. there I am winking at it And what you talking about? Bruce Willis. Don't do Bruce Willis. We've said that. They're all in tont of the Willis is Well You're talking about Bob the Gillis N as Bob Wilson I was thinking about them from football folcus. I realized I obviously lots of people commented have all the millions watching ha' got millions of emails about it 's been rain on my glasses. that's how u That's how we put this together. I've just dashed in from the studio from the rain outside U It's it's all going well and it's going very well, it should sit on the other. sit on it. Please don't bring my mum into this cit. D, I think Tati Nasetinas don't like spell it out The beauty of sittit on it is we don't know what it's about. It's a penis. It's not your p. You don't even have a penis sit on it anyway Sit done it, Dader, I'm gonna to kill you in your sleep No, that's awful thing to say to my eighty nine year old mom. She's eighty eight. How do you know how old she is Sundiesel theatre She's very it's a birthday on the second of July. I would ask you please not to make any inappropriate comments on that day at least. You have no word, Richard I winking at it And then guys was linking at that idea. Aside, I am gonna do the twentieth. into July twenty second. That was a side you couldn't hear sorry Finger stuck in the back of your head. That's That's aessional hazard isn't you? you feeling bad today, Rich? I'm feeling good today. I've had a really good sleep. I could have slept for hours. I tell you I was very tired Yesterday, yeah, I've been playing tennis. doing this. yeah, anythingthing else? lookingooking after my own children. Yeah, anything else Is that that's a tiring day for you, is it? Yeah, I was just I was exhausted U went to sleep, slept had a good eight hours. It's an amazing thing when that happens. So I feel I could have slept some more, Alie. Is this the news? Is this the world news? I could have slept more, Aly How to get up the kids off to school, water the dog. I was med playing tenis skin But my test part let me down it is right Do anything else you want to tell us about on you had the breakfast? I had Greek yogurt Listen Excuse me. Just c inough is it Yep to some seeds and some mangoes and blueberries someone's doing all right, aren't they? Well we make a lot of money out of The Craven news and at least I'm hope once we put those t shirts on sale. Yeah there must have been eight teet need oneichure and eight times whatever we charge for that minus expenses, minus getting the guysy to design them. Yeah We could literally make tens of pens out of this so. Well get on with it. Thank you, Mariati isn't going to stay in the zeitgeist for long, you know, I think you're right about that Thank you Mariati I tell you'll be saying, thank you, thank you Mariati. Thankk you Mariati to thank you Mariati once the nanny starts coming into those t shirts We also might do a little well you don what we have you made some decision? I thought we could do a little news round newshound the people who love the show. if they want it to keep going, they can't just keep doing this for three. C we cant we girl A you feeling not, you got your st your hospital stuff I think next week? Look, that's not. I mean, I don't want to talk about that on Well, I don't want to talk about it as a personal If you're going to get pricked next year you I don't want to you're going to get pricked five times. I don't want to talk about it, Ali, I said, please when we stop talking about it It's a private matter. Five injections in five days. Do you think you'll be allright to do News round? and the times you're not getting tricked Game what trick? All right Um I who knows? We'll see what affects the This weird medicine has upon me yet? Um mightight take a couple of weeks off there you know John Craven didn't take weeks off just because he didn't trick did he? He got pricked in ass every day and he still came back and didn't know I don't think he did. U Anyway, I don't want to talk about my health issues. It's a person's a terrible thing he's got ladies and gentlemen. dont don't want to talk about it's awful. He's probably going to die No you know Why don't you the monthly bad because that's the striighted up conress badgers. you won't have toither very much. I'm not going to die. It's that don't try and guilt people into giving you money protect. He's a little boy. He's a little sad boy. We might send him to Disneylandere he goes I'm not it's not even life threatening. so like don't use it, use it. I'm not going to use use it to get these chunks out there They'll fall for anything. they love you so much They love Henry Hippo apparently Well, they like him and they like the then they like for the Sonero ice creream that talks then think could you then probably u The one is civil Civil hasn't even been in this. They like a Northern you Then the Kstam. K' down there, that's a good one. Loy thirird and then you so, you know, let's play up to it. You could think What you have is impurable. You could nearly interpt this. I'm not that kind of guy. I wouldn't I wouldn't try and You know, go fast stripe. comr plast badges. if you want to come and see what could be One of my final shows ever. Yeah. G This is it Rgearing. com slash Rellestopo Who knows, who knows if I'll be well enough to carry on doing that in twenty twenty seven? Also he doesn't really want to do it any wassish O one hand, you're trying to help me. On the other hand, you're letting people He is time, ladies and gentlemen Don't scare them. I'm absolutely fine. It's just going be a little procedure. It's not even invasive I'm not losing a bodily organ like I did last time You, do you think you H lived an unhealthy lifyle? I mean, Itly I've lived a super healthyifyle, but I haven't been as bad you know I've never took drugs and I'm not drank it too much. I don't think that's anything to do with this I don't drink anymore. I know o How would you know someone stop drinking? They'll tell you all right Um, But you know, I'm a little overweight and I'm a little drunk. Yeah look Allright, let's get on. We've got a big new story today U Let's see what it is. It's you may have seen on the grown up news that a child mannequin has been found on a train with a can of cider. That's the big news. which you' this is the big news The BBC have covered this BBC radio sunset have covered this story A and mannequin found on a trail It's scary, isn't That is quite a scary looking mannequin which it is it? is that Yeah it'site it's that unconny valley, what the unc the uncunny valley. No, the uncanny. Well, make sure you say that right. We don't want an uncunny valley That's any valley that you're in' good don't say you're in Did Sund that say Uncanny? That's I like that podcast. That's not what you're meant to do. It's a mannequin has gone it looks weird. you're saying that that mannequin looks. Y uncany looks half alive, half dead, Do doesnn't find it quite scary. Iouldn't like to wake up with that at the end of my day at night with a knife Um Well, I mean, I think it's a bit rich you talk I'm a real human man. I got them very expressit man not like this weird It looks nearly real, doesn't it I'll tell people the story. they might not read the story We've got a can of cider there. A mannequin which went missing from a railway museum has been found on a train with a can of cider in its hands The World War I child evacuueee known as Annie dispared from the Blue anchor, you're the blue anchor. I don't say that. The blue anchor, the blue anchor Did somebody say blue like a blue movie? I mean, you've missed it The bllue anchor station, Blue anchor station You blew our anchor donon't send you that? don't look that don't there is a perfectly innocent nameamed Bleue anchor Wh's the blue anchor? What are you talking about that blue anchor? Bu ana Bu ana B ancha Lanka Lanko was quite pleased that that's it because he used it do to it He used to see to his own The anchor, the anchor he did indeed even thana. He went out on a tank and he got killed in the or two. Okay, that's nice. It's a that's a wartime song. Is it Bianca, Bianca? She blew a wankker. ye There was some saucy wondage Anyway, he's found at the Blue anchor, Blue anchor Blue anchor bllue is a good song. You come with good tunes Bue anchor Lue anchor. M He knew a gir called the anchor he kn that he didn' think her thought there was another anchor that she re. A ranker Okay, thank you It's just babbling now, baddling and badling and going in now and crabbing crabbing ye And there will be a woful stabbling When I come into Johomon I don't heill you So let's start again. the world we'll edit that bit out. The World War two evacuy known as Annie disappeared from the Blue ankle Yank the Yanker the Blue Anchor station during a West Somerset railway gala. I mean, God imagine that for a start. That should be the news There's a West Somerset railway guard. I mean, there' basically no fucking trains in West Somerset. Thank you to Dr. Beehing, who took them out. There used to be the strawberry line going through Cheddar to Welles. You you know in Welles, the amazing city of Welles, no train station that's absolutely insane. It's so hard to get to by car Come on Kih Kihardi Kihardi Kizama. Come on, Andy Burnham So yeah, come on Oh there's the blo, wasn't it? with that one that bloon guy. you floatated away I that was a good charac. You more than that character that was streeting, thank you Where's treating or where's treating? we never got to the bottom of it did we sortought it out. So I think West Somerset you know the garler of the railway might be seeing a train go by on its way to Exeter. It was later found alone in a carriage at Minehead station. Young Annie, who normally sits with her mother on one of the station platforms is thought to have been taken by a group of lads on the stagdoo Robin Wichard Richard Richard Wichchard got Wichard. D'top don't do these songs. The Station master at Blue Anchor Rodin Richard at the Llue Anchor. Eone calles in with Jena She seems absolutely unfazed by a condition and mum didn't seem to have noticed so no harm done I think that's very offensive to the Nanakin community, Richard. A to assume that this is just a Trank carried out by some junk fellows is a very attensive. Nanquins, if you've seen the tilm mananakquin are very capable of coming to life So thenilook has done these and all toys got of lie that nightime anyyone knows this. I'm sure An ot their of own lition o, no old trucking old Robin Witchard See Robin Rod in whichichard I can't remend the things which you you got it right, I did have to check it but you did get it right so well done. Iather got it right I don't check you, do Ia, donon't check me, please. He's just assuming a little girl like that. She's old. She's from World War two. She's like seventy eighty years old this child Because she's in the hole in the child Do doesn't mean she's not her and wiser than Rod Richard She's come to life, she's thought fuck it I Fedous sitt in this display. I'm going to go on a little trip. I'm going have some sliding. I'm going to have some fun. I'm eighty years old and allowed And E on theing that o a anakin couldn't go to life on its own and do this trh on its own. E though the film manakin exists and explains how mannequins work is absolutely pathetic U The mannequins on display were evacuated to the Blue anchor station of Blue Anchor, the Blue anchor. Blue anchor, Blue anchor. Blue anchor from the Steam Museum in Swinden, Wiltshire. Oh, they're not they've been murous. She was probably trying to get back home, Richard. She was probably going to get back to her to to Swinden. I mean, you know where she was loved and useful U The museum believes Annie went missing during the railways veryy busy Diesel Gala. I mean, the fact they have to say that and put it in inverted commerce They're very busy There were four people there and three of them nick the mannequin. U Yeah weren't expecting to find the young evacuating man on mannequin on the train but fortunately someone recognized her I think it gave the staff quite a shock when they were checking the train to find us sitting there Giving her an inebriated state, they put her in a wheelchair and delivered it. She can cope with one kind of fuckingide her robbed in witichard. I don' think's robing w whichchard saying that Anyway, she's back where she belongs Swindon know in mind ned Oh fuck you know, poor girl I've been to m head ye Yeah, it's horrible isn't It is pretty horrible in mind. And I think we went to is that where me and my friends went on holiday. ing nineteen eighty four. Mine head, I think it was Yeah it was. Was it Waymouth I come My dad's pretty horrible as well Way Miss Nice, is it no Anyway, she's back Anyway, I thought we might go over to look and see it's a shame Henry Hippo is not here. We can't. I would quite like Henry Hippo's thoughts on this. I don't think it would really appropriate for. to talk about, you know, we would have gone into inappropriate terit, we might have done actually so well done. it's good I'd like to switch over now. and see how he's doing on SBC two and see if he can work if he's working on his own So let's switch over now Oh, this was one of my favorite bits of sccooby dooo when Scooby was I love this episode Hees, u Scooby was scared by a ghost and he jumped into Shaggie's arms and he was whobing Big wubbling scoobies, bigig wubbling scoobies. Oh, I love big wubbling scooies Also, I love Felm's big wobbling boobs Well I didn't think he was any good at all. I thought he was terrible.' he needs us. He's not the best terble of us. Is? He's awful. Yeah is I mean, you know, it's it's a disgrace to me that he's the one that people are getting excited about? Yeah, it is S be I mean it should be me, I should be getting back on there tally Well, there's still time, Richie, they limited time. donon't go back into that Anyway, thanks very much for watching this week. I think we might be able to do tomorrow and doing a couple of podcasts rec courses tomorrow just to G ahead just in case, just in case So we'll see how that goes, but hopefully back tomorrow some more and hopefully back next week as well Dy You know, one day our tim is comry. And mean to shuttle off this mortal coil Letust give us pause, Do't it to think about that look What will come next in that undiscovered country from who's born no other returns Yeah, I just think you die and then that's it, I'm happy with it. I totally. In that cast a death What dreams and they come. I mean, hopefully I'll be podcasting when I do die in thirty years time, hopefully I'll be podcasting so we can get everything I'll be there, It's watching. watching as you day You probably will Anyway, thanks for watching N newsam. We'll be back. Don't turn over to it. Don't watch SPC two. It's rubbish, SPC one. you know, that's just because's's you know, SPC one is obviously more popular than it because of SPC one. It's more people more watch SPC one than SPC two that these programs are on the SPC two that they may be Let's go. Thanks for watching We'll see you what's happened to this Oh yeah no is O SPC two now it's inch highigh Private Eye. a documentary about Ian Hislop's attempt to relaunch his satirical magazine Private Eye in a new format, which is just two and a half centimeters tall. In order to fit everything in, they have to make the magazine four meters long And even so the font is much too small to be read The priv eye team tried to argue against the change, but his slop insists that this is the future of magazines Will he be proven right here on SPC one now some people who were never right it's Rich and Ally's Craven News round. . Hold on a sec. hold on a sec. I' just forgot ha'm written down what we're doing Oh yeah What else is there? I' got this out yet We're ready to go. Hello. It's Friday the twelfth of june twenty twenty six And this is Richard Iice Craving Ns Ran. you right, Richard. I'm Chekiny. That's very good Let first. This is Rich N Grape from Nuses,. I' Richheringin G me, it's Sally Sloper there. I'm thinking at it. What you talking about Freeden, Freeman, Hardy and Willis, you messed up non it We'll do it second take. What you talking about Thre and Hard and Lillis. That's the one That's the one Rich. That's the t shirt printed up. T did up What you talking about Freeman Hardy and earis? We got people working on the than you Mariati, Tisha as we speak, Oh, thank you, Mariati. That's my pleasure. I think people will enjoy it How many do you think we'll sell Three. Yeah. I think you unite the other andishes S Rich We'll see if everyone bought one what would do Everyone can put their orders and then we'll print them up and that's. It'll be a one off thing probably need to sell twenty to break even at least, okay. Right, let's anyway, that's we're not here to make money. Yeah, that's very true That's most certainly true I haven't got any money. That's certainly not true. Are we quoting from the Mppet Christmas Carol here? I note from the original Christmas Col. Yeah, we're here to give you the news They've got some good news. They've got three different news stories, H' they? you' set on it don't say that A Get out there earie? Yeah what else What' you talking about T then Hy in the list the shoe shop? Yeah. I mean, you know There's a sign up for them in Hitch and Town Center It's beautifully done on the brickwork but now it's a dog trust charity shop. What are you talking about three then Hardy and Lis? I think they're probably Lgely going out of business. Let me know if I'm wrong U T tired today L, I'm a little bit weary. I've been tied or weak, you know, maybe it's due to my condition and' all these sorted out soon We'll see. And I've done two other podcasts today as well. so that's why I'm a little bit to Rollistteriz So those will be out next month leading up to the Edinburgh fringe. But you know, this is my one true love doing a news topical news show My puppet hoping I' hoping holy mess. Whenere did that come that? I don't remember that being there U the knot of the wood is there's nothing there. Did someone come out lookook, this isn't the time to examine your desk They can't even see that at home. U Yeah, so you know, we'' hoping to Do this hoping to Oh God, I thought why have you let me fall? I'm just gonna to clean my glasses. sometimes they a little bit dirty And they annoyys some people Oh, Dizzy does not the whole thing annoyys some people. Well weboth off to a blistering start You can inject some life into it. I would love to return it If you' talking me about three then howyian Gis Threen and Hy and Willis. walking down the road one day and then There came a great big treis t came the came upon a great big treis. they came upon it Standing in the way. Th then said let's go over it. Hardy said let's go under it. Willis said what you talking about threeinin and hardy. Willis is going through it. And he ran through the treies Like Kunitter Alice. jumping off the country as she dies. What the fuck is this? How was he is this fuck Is Ruthell is hanged? here He threeream and shot his v And hardy had a coke And else said I for whattering with had a good one lined up as well Well, I mean, presumably' sing as E and hing willill is wking down the rain They came because the tread is are the luck in the road today s. I don't know why you come with these beautiful tunes. they're good tunes. You should do sng with them. I could dring out them now then. if only you could remember them one minute after you've sung them, I mean that one changed. you see it? Let's just get on with it. What do you think about the continuity ananceer a bit Rud?et. Has't he done in Ch tri that I thought I think he has, but it was a different joke if he did Let's have a look on the grown upp news. You may have seen these stories. We're doing three stories today, See if any comes out of any of them. U You won't hear this on the mainstream media, fully autonomous drones H killed human soldiers for the first time The termin a terrist country, Richard Yeah, the Ukrainian army sending up drones that are just told to kill any human beings or blow up any tanks and stuff that are in particular area regardless of who they are and they've done it They don't have any cameras in them. They just go out and they kill people. Bow stuff up and it's they flew over later and they think they've been successfully killed some Russian soldiers. o' celebrating murder nowriage? I dont think it's murder when you're fighting off an invading army. We're not we don't take sides here. On News Round, we remain what's the word Dicult no What's the word? you know the word? You impartial? Oh yeah, you know You know the word I couldn't think get the word impartial. I think Ukraine is better than Russia and we like Russian more Is something you like you were Canmore. Well, you nearly did all al thereough because you got messed up and you said you'd like them though You I like Ukraine more Be I've got some fans I've got some fans in Russia. I like Rich look, I'm not happening to go the Richard Herring fans Russ Come on, you guys know. C what you say, Richardading the Et and listens to this what he does now. you said his name. that'll come There'll be a drone over here, unmanned drone, bang We're out we're dead The point I'd wanted to make that wasn't about Who's right and wrong in the Ukraine Russia warar, It's Ukraine. He's right and Russia is wrong. U the point I wanted to make was yeah, that like you said that when you ru my point, it's like terminator is happening in it? If the machines can just kill people now without anyone, there should be the Three laws of robotics it might be five hereah the that was shalt not eat silicon chips, yeet, Thou shalt not U Dishonor th my mother and father if I make it robots must have sex with the creator of the robot if you ask And robots can't kill humers that's for. It doesn't matter anyway. So They've broken the Aimos laws are robotics I don't want I wouldn't even one of those things flew over here now and offered me like a portal. I wouldn't even take it. I don't don't even fancy those And the fact they their murderr puts me off even more. But it's a terrifying moment for humanity. Remember you saw here first the war between the machines and the humans has become. We don't want to talk about this though. The next new story. do you see a sodomized goggle? You need a psychiatrist says architect U I have the story to hand. let me see if I can bring it up Be you might want to know where this is happening. I never remember how to get the save stories up in the following year, there it is save stories. Here it is see a sodomized Ggggle. Fernando Kobos. has he got a Kobos? Has he got a blue anchor Rich?as he got a blue anchor? Yeah, you's got that blue anchor. and your blue anchor? What you're talking about Mi Ii No, than you Nariati, that's it H who oversaw the restoration of Spain's oldest hotel. insist that drain points drain pipes added to the grow tests were absolutely necessary. You can see that there's a Gargoyle from the ancient of days on the hostel Das Aalicos in Santiago, the Cost deela The cargos that are displaying their displayed anuses, I would say, they're displaying their anuses Maybe see a little ball under there. You can see some balls under there and that's very triggering for you Um and u He's stuck in some pipes to the backsides of the gogggles, which serve to channel rainwater. And he says it's the least bad solution because the rainfall is getting bigger He says, if you see a sodomized gargle here, there is a spout. that is not much I can do. I'm an architect, not a psychiatrist. I mean, do you think Would you say that going in or coming out It seems very long rich the It does seem it looks like, especially given that that wasn't there before. I can understand why people think is going in rather than it's a channel bring stuff out Also it spoils the joke, doesn't it? The original guys did that there's water is going to shoot out of there bum like dirty diarrhea over whatever the' Spanish or whatever they are not even sure where it is Where Santiago is that Spain? Yeah, here is Spain, of course it And that's more than the Spanish deserve to get gargon effluent over them. donon't these anenaphobic, justust being honest. If it's a crime to be honest, if it's a crime to say everyone in Spain deserves to have Dirty diarrheea gargal poop over them. That's easy to use to say, you can say it. dirty diarrhea gargle poop. gargoyle poop. It's the only bit Yeah the other poopss hard for you, isn't it? Gal that certain me Bob oil Boboo B Boy Hardbat Hard booiled gargle, that's a good kid's book. Here's the hard boiled garbil. You good youre getting very good at speaking. Thank you. Anyway, He says it's your problem. we think that's a. pipe inserted into the anus of a gargle that is clearly coming out of the A of Gargoyle. And that is its distinction. I would say if you're going around sticking pipes up Gargoyles's asses It doesn't matter which way you think if it's an entrance or an exit I think the're other one is see a psychiatrist Hold, Mis. what' his name Fernard Fernando Kobot. Fernando Cobas Fernando Cub buuff Wh doesn't he dog The sticky ees fight for the goggles th Along came rain and wason undercovers away And the sight at the Senized goarle they didn't come. All right. I feeling that is't an old musical song because that's very up to date if that is ue Anyway the main news story I wanted to cover. I think this is very pertinent for us today is one, two, three. There we go. the telegraph. has been saying, I can't hardly we haven't covered this story this week. We've waiting until the weekend as saying how the BBC destroyed Dctor Who The shock exit of Russell T. Davison and cancel Chrism spepecial, the latest blows to an institution inside the say is turn toxic Um Of course, I mean, you know, doctor who fans all know But all the newspapers didn't really give a fuck when Dr. Who was taken off before, didn't really clamour to have it back So it seems weird that they're now saying it's all gone wrong, even though they all hated it at the time. it was on, especially when it was too what the telegraph would have found it I'm guessing She woke But anyway, it's open For business, yeah, the old Tardis and who do you think would make a good doctor Wh? Alie, That's all I want to know. I think I would make a very good doctor who rich I you know, and old like the first one, really th No William Hartneell. ye I quite quirky like S they cut and the wells rest like John Therttree. What about old number two Oh, the second one ye You can't you in there his name, Rich It's William Arnnell and I can't remember fact are you thinking of Fatrick Trououtton? I suppose I am yet you say so, then can Peter Dithson you're just gonna name the doctors. I'm like Peter Davson. I could play Tristan in all Creatures Great and S as well Anyway, I like all of them like Slestter McCooy, I like Tom Daker and Colin Daker. I like is there any other ones there? Sylvesest and McCoy De said and like for again. Yeah, and like Christter Eclston okay you really are going to name all of them. They're like Joh Hurt you didn't got namey you got to name the u The other female doctor who just was in one thing was her actor's name Or are you racist and sexist Tom do you know? Yeah, I know. once I know then you don't know. So we're showing you up Anyway, let's tell me what is I'm not going to tell you because then you'll say ye, I thought's what I thought I think you'd be a good door anyway. Do you? Yeah, I think you'd be a little bit if I. Would you be coming along? Yeah? I'd behind you just wearing a sort of black which a green screen if I walk a green suit, I could be green screened out. you could be walking around. Oh I don know there's a Dalelico fucking know. There's a Siden then. What you talking about Sidon then What are you talking about freeing the hardardy Unis? You wouldn't be able to say that's advertising. What are you talking about Mincy Gillis What you talking about Silvester the Cy? It's not as good as it with all these other ones And I bet there's a I bet if I knew en that don't know who there would be a creature Oh you're doing that sea devils, that's not good And then I could if there was assistants there, I could kiss them and stuff like they started doing it's good when they start having kissing the assistants. I don't think that's and I think it would be inappropriate you. I think back to the old days where The doctor was not a sexual force I don't think I could act that But we're getting news that They have actually announced the new doctor And we're heading over to meet them now, could be anyone. They're in the tarest Ready to meet us Oh well hold on, can't go too far. You come this way wonder who it could wonder who could be What island of be rich is itt me? Well, you're here, aren't you? so You can see something moving around must be some kind of monster moving around there Uh he was say Hello Richard is me Henry Hippo. They like my scarf. I'm the new doctor whoo. doctor Who? Doctor Wh. D? Is that your new catchphrase? that I would prefer if that was your new C doctor. look, I don't believe they may. I am look I mean the tardest there's a grandfather clock there and everything Don't remember that being in it Is the real like touch the touch I touch the doll I can't get close to them for some reason Oh I I want to work with you. First of all, why were you on SPC two yesterday Richard, I get done getting a lot of h the work. peopleople like me. No one likes youre awful and your throwback to a different time They love me, They little going to say in their catch phrase. Don't say your catchphrase My cat trace is doctor Who, doctor Who? Doctor Who Wh, doctor Wh? Ohh we didn't do we could have done that, couldn't we S we do it? Yeah Uh Do you want to be the new doctor who who? Yeah, who Who' you talking about To. Doctor Who? Yeah, doctor Who. doctor Who Yeah that's what I said, D't do. All right, we done it people from F will appreciate that. Doctor whoo, Dctor World, Health orrganization. If only you are U Lots of news coming in Well that is Um, We haven't got time. Anway I'm anoyed with you for Richard, I'm going to do the new doctor Who and I'm going to go into space. I'm going to look for monsters with certain attributes then I'm going to say Big wobbling hooby hoobieoo hoozsy hoobies Yeah, I mean, it was funny yesterday you said. Big wobbling scoobies, but I mean, who hoobies ike doctor Who. Big womning hoobies Also to have big titss I say, big wling boobies, that's what people wanted to say. o? Well done And we go out You know, I thought it might be a better news round than it is today We'll be I think we're back on Monday because I'm going to the hospital on Monday at three. So I'll come in and do one in the morning just in case